G. I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA (2009)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *psychological, sociological*                                                                                                                             Like the majority of live-action film-adaptations of comics and cartoons, RISE OF COBRA is structurally (though not aesthetically) indebted to Tim Burton's 1989 BATMAN-- take a wild fantasy-scenario and add just enough allusions to real-world psychology to make the scenario seem relatively relatable as entertainment for adults. Like the 80s cartoon, COBRA is first and foremost about the heroes (the G.I. Joes) and their villains (the hordes of Cobra) chasing each other across the globe in pursuit of whatever super-weapon both sides covet. However, the script imports the sort of romantic concept one barely if ever saw in the cartoon: the trope of "the rescue of the princess from the fortress of evil," even though the princess has become one of the evildoers.                                                                                       

                                                                                                                      Unlike the JOE cartoons, which tend to throw their viewers into an encounter with a motley crew of weirdly codenamed commandos, the script for Stephen Sommers' COBRA gives readers unfamiliar with the concept a chance to assimilate things gradually. Two soldiers, both of whom already have the non-JOE code-names of "Duke" (Channing Tatum) and "Ripcord" (Marlon Wayans), are ambushed by the forces of Cobra while transporting a radical new set of miniature missiles. Duke recognizes the attack squad's leader "The Baroness" (Sienna Miller) as his former girlfriend Ana, just before the attackers are repelled by the forces of G.I. Joe. For debriefing purposes, Duke and Ripcord are transported to the HQ of the commandos, becoming acquainted with a half-dozen Joes, though functionally only Scarlet (Rachel Nichols) and Snake Eyes (Ray Park) sustain major subplots. With very little effort Duke and Ripcord manage to get transferred to the Joes' unit, the better for Duke to suss out how his former lover Ana became allied to a terrorist organization.                                                                               

  Just as efficiently, the viewers are introduced to the principal villains of the story: an arms dealer named McCullen (who will become Destro), a weird mad scientist (Cobra Commander), and the white-clad ninja Storm Shadow, who bears an ongoing grudge against his adoptive brother Snake Eyes. Two other minor Joe-villains, Zartan and Mindbender, also appear but have little to do. All three of the main villains will turn out to be implicated in the reason that Ana became the Baroness, with Destro as her lover (as in the cartoon), Storm Shadow as her sensei/teacher, and the Commander as the technical wizard responsible for brainwashing Ana. In fact, there are times that the mystery of Ana's conversion outweighs the emotional importance of the missiles' threat, which is never credible in the least. (For some vague goal of vengeance, Destro seems willing to destroy the whole world, as well as Cobra's place in it.)                

That said, if one can ignore such real-world exigencies, COBRA provides a good blockbuster-style wild ride. The movie does not emulate the cartoon's lack of violence by having both sides fire stun-rays at one another: everyone here uses regular firearms, aside from the two battling ninjas. That may be one reason the Joes sometimes employ battle-suits not seen in the cartoon: an invisibility costume for Scarlet, and heavy armor that boosts the speed and strength of the wearers to superheroic levels. Duke, despite wearing such a suit, is taken prisoner by Cobra, though this leads to Cobra's defeat when he's able to lead his fellow Joes to Cobra's door.                                         

 While the sibling quarrel of Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow yields some decent fights but is dramatically inert, the strange influence of the three main villains over Ana doesn't make much rational sense. Though the Baroness is a skilled fighter and leader of her troops, there doesn't seem to be any particular reason that one of the threesome-- who is also her sibling-- chose to make her into a brainwashed pawn for Cobra. But it does make them seem more devoted to villainy for its own sake, more so than the missile-menace.                                                                                                   

There's also a minor subplot in which Ripcord tries to score with Scarlet, but though it's nothing special, it's also adequate as a time-filler. No actor's given any really impressive lines to speak-- which is one of the things that makes it NOT like '89 BATMAN-- but I don't think anyone embarrassed him/herself with the meat-and-potatoes dialogue. I've certainly seen a lot of big, noisy summer blockbusters much worse than RISE OF COBRA.