TMNT Adventures #40 – January 1993

1492

Credits: Dean Clarrain (script), Chris Allan (pencils), Brian Thomas (inks), Gary Fields (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

This was published during the 500^th anniversary of Christopher Columbus' journey to America. Given the philosophical bent of the previous issues, it’s not a shock that Columbus is given the “evil white guy” treatment here (which, in fairness, he apparently was). The story begins with the Turtles sailing out of the rainforest on a homemade boat. On their way to the Caribbean, they’re hit by a heavy storm and washed ashore. When they awake, they’re greeted by Arawak natives, which makes Splinter question if they’ve traveled through time. His suspicions are confirmed when the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria arrive. Columbus’ men disarm the natives and the Turtles before Columbus walks ashore.

Columbus examines the Turtles’ Japanese weapons and decides that he’s mapped a new route to Asia. (Neither Columbus or the Arawak are bothered by the existence of mutants, which is brought up in the dialogue but never actually explained in the story.) Columbus decides that he wants one of the Turtles to accompany him and selects Donatello. The Turtles are wary, but Splinter feels like “there is more than meets the eye” and that Donatello must go. Inside Columbus’ ship, Columbus delivers a two-page monologue about his love of gold, even though Donatello can’t speak Italian and has no idea what he’s saying.

Meanwhile, on the beach, Columbus’ men are giving in to their evil European urges and harassing the local females. The Turtles team up with the natives to stop the explorers, which leads Splinter to decide it’s time to rescue Donatello. Simultaneously, Donatello is greeted by an “earth-spirit” who calls himself/itself “the Other.”

The Other explains to Donatello that the Turtles are on one of the planet’s “power spots,” and are sharing the same moment in time with Columbus because they landed exactly five hundred years apart on the same spot. The Other then goes on to explain the repercussions of Columbus’ journey, including the diseases spread to the natives and the use of his sailing route in the future slave trade. After the Other thoroughly depresses Donatello, he disappears into the darkness. The Turtles arrive to rescue him, get caught up in another storm, and wash up on the same beach the next morning. However, they’re now in 1992. The team sneaks onboard a cruise ship and sails to America.

Review in a Half-Shell: I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that this story was written as a preemptive strike against any positive portrayals of Christopher Columbus during the 500^th anniversary hoopla. I know that there were two movies about Columbus during 1992 (and I think both of them bombed), but it seems like the mainstream media was cynical enough at this point to present a more skeptical look at Columbus’ legacy. I was in 7^th grade at the time and don’t recall ever being taught that Columbus was particularly admirable, just that he did something historically significant. If your teacher did say something nice about Christopher Columbus, though, I’m sure quoting the latest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Adventures issue would’ve set her straight. Judged as a story and not a statement, I’ll give it credit for coming up with a creative hook to examine the idea, and the harsh history lesson adds some depth to the issue. Of course, if you want to do a story that emphasizes the negative results of Columbus’ exploration, that means you’re also going to get some pretty one-dimensional characterizations for the opponents. Plus, it’s another issue where the villains are absolutely no threat to the Turtles at all.

Pizza References: Raphael remarks that “there isn’t a pizzeria within five hundred years of this place.”

Turtlemania: There’s a two-page ad for the TMNT III – Manhattan Project video game. I’m pretty sure this was the last TMNT game released exclusively on the original Nintendo.

TMNT Adventures #39 – December 1992

United We Stand, Divided We Fall – Part Three

Credits: Dean Clarrain (script), Chris Allan (pencils), Jon D’Agostino (inks), Gary Fields (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

Following the events of Mighty Mutanimals #6, the Ninja Turtles and Mutanimals are being held captive by Null. Standing guard over them are the three monsters from the previous issue, who I guess we’re now supposed to refer to as Famine, War, and Pestilence (“Death,” or the Grim Reaper as he’s usually called in the story, sits in the distance, playing with puppets of the other three Horsemen). Jagwar asks Null why he enjoys destroying the rainforests and committing cruel acts. Null responds that death and destruction are his favorite things, and just to prove how evil he can be, he casually mentions that Jagwar’s mother will now join his harem. But that’s not all, because he’s also going to force his former aide Kid Terra to push the button that electrocutes the captured mutants. Villains often brag about “taking care” of the hero’s girlfriend, but Jagwar has to hear this stuff about his mother as the villain prepares to kill him, which is even sicker.

As Null leaves to retrieve Kid Terra from his base, Azrael arrives to rescue the mutants. The Turtles and Mutanimals team up against the three Horsemen. Unbeknownst to Null (probably because, like me, he didn’t read Mighty Mutanimals #6), Kid Terra, Azrael, and Juntarra, Jagwar’s mother, have escaped his custody. They spot the Grim Reaper playing with his puppets in the distance and discern that he’s actually controlling the monsters.

As Kid Terra struggles with the Grim Reaper, Null takes a cheap shot from his pistol and shoots him in the chest. Azrael, Juntarra, and Ninjara team up to fight Null, who responds, “I don’t kill women, I use them.”

As the battle rages, Screwloose checks on Kid Terra. While the Grim Reaper is busy harvesting Kid’s soul, Screwloose destroys his puppets, which causes the monsters to disintegrate. Without reinforcements, Null decides to escape the battle. He suddenly grows a pair of batwings, which exposes him as a demon. Null brags that he grows stronger which each act of evil as he flies away. I wonder if Clarrain/Murphy realized that his previous portrayal of Null was so over-the-top “eviiiilll” that he decided to make it an actual plot point.

Meanwhile, the Grim Reaper takes Kid Terra’s soul from his body. Juntarra lets out a censored profanity (she uses a “#*@&!!” in almost every panel she’s in), and destroys the Grim Reaper with a giant stick. Kid Terra’s soul is saved, and the day is won. In the distance, the Grim Reaper gradually materializes on top of his horse and rides away. Later, the Turtles wonder when Cudley will return and take them home.

Review in a Half-Shell: Even without reading the Mighty Mutanimals chapter, this is still fun. It’s also another example of the book going into more and more adult territory, which makes the ultra-cute renditions of the various characters either off-putting or just a part of the title’s odd appeal. What’s really incongruous is the lettering change that occurs a few pages in. Only Gary Fields is credited with letters, but it’s obviously a very different style from his previous work for most of the issue. The letters are now large and round, with big curvy balloons that resemble something out of the Golden Age. It’s the type of lettering you would stereotypically associate with a kid’s comic, which is obviously not the direction Clarrain/Murphy has been taking the book. Seeing Null’s line about using women and the various “time to die!” threats lettered in this style is actually pretty humorous. If you just flip through the comic without paying attention to what’s actually in the word balloons, you would probably have a very different impression of what’s going on.

TMNT Adventures #38 – November 1992

United We Stand, Divided We Fall – Part One

Credits: Dean Clarrain (script), Chris Allan (pencils), Brian Thomas (inks), Gary Fields (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

It’s 1992, so we’re legally required to experience at least one crossover. This issue follows the events of the Mighty Mutanimals regular series, of which I’ve read exactly one issue. Two pages into the story, we’re drawn into the conclusion of Mighty Mutanimals #5. The Mutanimals are in the desert, under attack by Null’s Robo-Skeleton soldiers. They’re accompanied by a shapechanging woman named Azrael, who morphs into an eagle and flies for help when the rest of the team is knocked unconscious. She needn’t have bothered, as Cudley has dropped off the Turtles, along with Splinter and Ninjara, nearby.

With the added backup, the second round goes in the Mutanimal’s favor. Azrael watches from the sidelines, commenting on how helpless she feels. Null views this as the perfect opportunity to take her captive.

Before the subtext gets any creepier, Null takes Azrael to his nearby hideout. He’s greeted by the Grim Reaper and three shadowy monsters. Meanwhile, the Mutanimals explain that they encountered Null while searching for Jagwar’s mother, Juntarra. They’ve learned from Azrael that this area was once a rainforest before Null’s desertification process destroyed it. The united mutants follow a trail of smoke and discover that zombies are burning a nearby rainforest.

Dreadmon and Jagwar proudly rip the zombies into purple goo, but the threat isn’t over. The three monsters from Null’s hideout emerge, ready to fight. To be continued in Mighty Mutanimals #6 (which I don’t own).

Review in a Half-Shell: It’s somewhat amusing that this crossover appeared at the same time as “The X-Cutioner’s Song.” By the time the issue’s over, you’re given a basic idea of the story so far, but there is a sense that you’re walking in on a movie an hour after it started. It’s several pages into the story before it’s even confirmed that the events are taking place on Earth, which would be obvious for anyone following Mighty Mutanimals, but the last issue of TMNT Adventures ended with Cudley escorting the Turtles through outer space. When the next issue opens with a setting of the night sky and a rocky terrain, you could just as easily assume that the story is taking place on an asteroid or alien planet. The character of Azrael isn’t really introduced, outside of the explanation that she can change into an eagle (was she the eagle from the opening of Mighty Mutanimals #1?), and I have no idea where the rainforest-burning zombies came from. If you are a fan of the Mutanimals, though, it is nice to see them interacting with the Turtles again.

What the Shell? : We learn that Wingnut’s wings no longer work, with a footnote pointing towards Mighty Mutanimals #2. Wingnut says they were destroyed by a giant snake, “Humongous Trouserous was its scientific name, I think…” Now, what exactly happened in Mighty Mutanimals #2?

TMNT Adventures #37 – October 1992

Stump’d Again!!

Credits: Dean Clarrain (script), Chris Allan (pencils), Jon D’Agostino (inks), Gary Fields (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

After their adventure in the Middle East, the Turtles spend days traveling the desert on their way to Africa. Just as Michelangelo complains to Splinter about desert travel, Cudley the Cowlick appears. Cudley offers them a ride out of the desert if they agree to another wrestling tournament. Despite Ninjara’s misgivings about traveling inside a giant cow’s head's mouth, the heroes go along with Cudley’s offer. The Turtles are escorted backstage, where they learn that they’ll have to wrestle each other. The winner will then face off with a new wrestler, El Mysterio.

Before the match begins, Splinter and Ninjara have a private conversation. Splinter tells Ninjara that she’s proven herself to the group, but he’s not sure how he feels about Raphael having a girlfriend. He realizes his Turtles are growing up, and is comforted by Ninjara as they gaze at the stars. It’s soon time for the main event, which pits the Turtles against each other in a four-way match. Surprisingly, Donatello proves to be the winner (his explanation for his moves is that “it pays to read”). He now faces El Mysterio, who we learn is not the Spider-Man villain wearing a sombrero.

Donatello twists “El Mysterio”’s limbs into a submission hold and emerges as the grand winner. Stump is true to his word, and Cudley brings everyone back to Earth.

Review in a Half-Shell: This is mainly a sequel to issue #7, which was the first issue of the title to get a little weird. There’s not much of a plot, but it does manage to get the group out of a geographically inconvenient location. Splinter and Ninjara have a nice moment together, and I thought the revelation of El Mysterio was pretty funny.

Meanwhile, in Riverdale: The Archie gang is promoting Club Med vacations, and a bikini-clad Veronica has a dream that explains how Archie comics are made out of recycled material.

TMNT Adventures #36 – September 1992

Steel Breeze

Credits: Dean Clarrain (script), Chris Allan (pencils), Brian Thomas (inks), Gary Fields (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

As the sandstorm dies down, Shredder approaches Splinter’s unconscious body. The Turtles, along with Ninjara and Al’Faqua, arrive to rescue him, but they soon discover Shredder has a new ally. The mystery man fires energy blasts that form a forcefield around the heroes. Declaring the wonders of science, he removes his mask to reveal his true face. His name is Verminator-X, and he’s a humanoid cat cyborg from the future. He also enjoys cigars.

Welcome to 1992, Turtles. Shredder and Verminator-X escape with Splinter, leaving the others behind in the forcefield. Raphael’s sai manages to puncture the energy bubble and free his friends. Al’Faqua sends his pet falcon Talyn to find the villains, as they take Splinter to a nearby oasis. Splinter learns that Shredder has stolen the Black Stone of Mecca, and is planning to take the White Stone. Owning both stones, he believes, will grant him immortality. Following Talyn’s guidance, the Turtles travel through an underground tunnel called a foggara to reach the oasis.

After reaching the oasis, the Turtles learn that Shredder’s fellow travelers are actually Foot Supersoldiers.

Shredder, presumably through the help of his very ‘90s friend, is opening a time portal. He plans to bring Splinter along, just to keep him around for future tortures, but the Turtles remind Shredder that he owes them a debt of honor (following Krang’s wacky misadventure that took place on top of Shredder’s head). Declaring everyone even, he throws Splinter back. Al’Faqua is upset that Shredder and Verminator-X escaped with the Black Stone, but Ninjara reveals that she used her thief abilities to steal the real stone and replace it with a fake. Al’Faqua gets down on his knees, holding the Black Stone and praising Allah (which I’m sure won’t at all offend the concerned mother who wrote in this issue, complaining about the “New Age and Buddhist rhetoric and subject matter” of #33).

Review in a Half-Shell: Wow, Al’Faqua and Verminator-X in the same issue. Verminator-X is either a clever parody, years ahead of its time, of some of the more ridiculous early ‘90s comics trends…or an awkward attempt to cash in on those trends. Either way, this book is obviously something that could’ve only been published between 1991 and 1994. Since TMNT started out as a parody of Marvel’s early ‘80s output, I guess it’s appropriate that cyborg mutants from the future eventually got their due, also. I’ve always liked the Foot Supersoldiers, and Clarrain/Murphy is still able to use the unique setting to the story’s advantage, so even if we’re supposed to take Verminator-X seriously, there’s some solid work here.

I Was Not Aware of That: The story details how an oasis is created, describing a foggara as a “self-filling subterranean aqueduct” that uses gravity to slowly bring water to an oasis.

TMNT Adventures #35 – August 1992

The Black Stone

Credits: Dean Clarrain (script), Chris Allan (pencils), Rod Ollerenshaw (inks), Gary Fields (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

The Turtles and Ninjara continue to follow Splinter on their tour of Asia. Passing through Iran, they catch a boat to Oman, their next destination. After days of traveling through the desert, Splinter tells the story of the Black Stone of Mecca. The Black Stone, described as a meteor that fell to Earth three thousand years ago, is now a Muslim object of reverence. The “pre-Islamic Arabs of Mecca” built a cubic structure called the Ka’Ba to house the Black Stone, which became the center of worship for a pantheon of gods. Splinter then describes the history of Muhammad, the Koran, and Islam’s rise as the major religion in the area. For what it’s worth, the story of Muhammad is presented without skepticism, so Splinter doesn’t say that Muhammad believed that he was the messenger of God, he bluntly states that he was. So now, Shinto, Buddhism, and Islam are all in the running to be the official religion of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Adventures.

Splinter wants to get close to Mecca to see the Ka’Ba, even though the city is closed off to non-Muslims. Ninjara asks if Splinter is familiar with the White Stone, the meteorite that arrived with the Black Stone and was allegedly stolen by a nomad soon after it landed. She claims that the White Stone has been sold amongst the world’s richest men for years, and that many attempts have been made to steal its mate, the Black Stone. I’m sure this will be important later.

The Turtles come across six men traveling through the desert. One of them thinks he recognizes Splinter through his robe, and quickly abandons his group to follow. The Turtles set up camp in an abandoned city outside of Mecca, where they hope to hide from an approaching sandstorm. Suddenly, they’re attacked by sword-wielding men in Arab garb. Michelangelo is struck from behind by a giant bird-man. He accuses the Turtles and friends of being the six robed men who stole the Black Stone. He declares his name is, I swear to you, Al’Falqa.

Splinter convinces Al’Falqa that they’re innocent, as the sandstorm blasts the city. Splinter isn’t able to take cover in time and succumbs to the sand. From a distance, the man following the Turtles watches with binoculars. He reveals himself as Shredder.

Review in a Half-Shell: This is mostly setup for a new storyline, but the story manages to work in a lot of action and more real world history and geography lessons. Clarrain/Murphy is really going into unexpected places for story ideas, which pulls the book even further away from its toy tie-in roots. Having the Turtles meet yet another anthropomorphic character in a foreign country is becoming pretty cliché at this point, though. I get that anthropomorphic characters are just a part of the TMNT canon, but having a new one pop up in every country they visit is faintly ridiculous. And it’s not as if there was an Al’Falqa action figure that just had to be promoted for Playmates.

I Love the (Early) ‘90s: Donatello comments on black smoke coming from Kuwait’s direction. Even though the Gulf War was “over a year ago,” some of the oil wells are still burning.

I Was Not Aware of That: The Black Stone of Mecca is a real item. The White Stone, according to some legends, is another part of the stone that was housed in a nearby city.

Mah Name!

Credits: Dean Clarrain (script), Chris Allan (pencils), Sid Fontainbleu (inks & letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

On Stump Asteroid, young contest winner Nobbie Bulkhead is saddled with Cryin’ Hound after Ace Duck and Trap abandon him. Cryin’ Hound explains that he constantly repeats his name because his mother, who gave birth to a large litter, didn’t want him to be forgotten. After a fire consumed “the maul,” where all of the puppies hung out, Cryin’ Hound was reunited with his mother because he memorized his name. Nobbie Bulkhead adopts Cryin’ Hound’s mannerisms and annoys Stump and Sling.

Review in a Half-Shell: What is this? I have no idea why exactly this back-up exists, nor do I truly understand Cryin’ Hound’s story. (It seems like knowing his mother’s name would’ve been more help after escaping “the maul” anyway.) Is this somehow another Elvis reference? The sheer absurdity of it is kind of entertaining, and I do like Hound’s line that the fire was “the kind of mess you don’t want your nose rubbed into.” What’s odd is that the lettering and colors remind me of Alan Moore’s 1963 project, even though this isn’t an obvious nostalgia story.

TMNT Adventures #34 – July 1992

The Search for the Charlie Llama

Credits: Dean Clarrain (script), Chris Allan (pencils), Brian Thomas (inks), Gary Fields (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

Outside of the Crystal Palace, the Turtles and their friends look for Charlie Llama. They come across Jang La, a pregnant woman who reveals that Charlie is not only the latest incarnation of Buddha, but also a midwife. She says that she saw last issue’s Skeleton-Dervish fly off to another palace. Katmandu recognizes the palace as the home of the sorcerer Mang-Thrasha. While the others leave to investigate Mang-Thrasha’s palace, Donatello and Splinter stay behind to assist in the delivery of Jang La’s baby. A group of Tantric Monkeys (described as “monk monkeys,” Charlie Llama’s personal choir) arrives to help the delivery.

As the others head for Mang-Thrasha’s palace, they’re attacked by more Whirling Dervish ninjas and the Skeleton-Dervish. Katmandu defeats the Skeleton-Dervish by literally ripping his bones apart. As it mutters its final word, Michelangelo stomps on the remains of its jaw. And Chris Allan’s art makes it just adorable.

The Turtles and friends arrive at the palace and finally meet Charlie Llama, who is literally a humanoid llama. Mang Thrasha reveals that he kidnapped Charlie Lllama to please the Chinese. Once the Chinese have Charlie recant his claims of being Buddha, they feel that his threat to their rule of Tibet will end. The Turtles fight against a group of Chinese soldiers, while Charlie Llama peacefully wills himself into death in a backroom. His last words: “Always remem-bahh that there are no endings…only new bahh-ginnings…” Meanwhile, Jang La gives birth to her baby, which has got to be the first depiction of afterbirth goo in an Archie comic.

That evening, everyone unites. Splinter isn’t upset about Charlie’s death, because he knows that Buddha is now reincarnated as Jang La’s baby. In case anyone’s unsure, the baby’s first words are “Bahh bahh bahh baah.”

Review in a Half-Shell: Man, if people were offended by the Turtles meditating, imagine what they thought of this storyline. It’s interesting that this issue presents reincarnation and Buddha as actual plot points when the letters page has a letter commenting that Izanagi and Izanami (who appeared as characters a few issues earlier) are actually from a different belief system. On top of that, Islam gets referenced in the next storyline. This is really the strangest this book has gotten so far, even though Chris Allan’s art is still creating the illusion that this is a kid’s comic based on a TV show. Not that Allan is a bad artist, his stuff is just so clean and amiable it seems at odds with the darker stories. That said, the action works pretty well, and the story’s so outrageous it’s fun just to see where it’s headed. Clarrain/Murphy also gets points for actually listing Tibet and China by name, instead of coming up with fictional countries to serve as obvious allegories. My only real complaint is the fact that Splinter knew a humanoid animal (who’s never given an origin) years before he become one himself. I realize it’s ridiculous to complain about coincidences in a story like this, but it just bothers me.

I Love the (Early) ‘90s: Michelangelo lets out a “Not!” on page ten, and he later refers to the Skeleton-Dervish as “Bone Loc” (as in, this guy).

TMNT Adventures #33 – June 1992

The Karma of Katmandu

Credits: Dean Clarrain (script), Chris Allan (pencils), Rod Ollerenshaw (inks), Gary Fields (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

The layout of the cover is repeated on the first panel of the issue, only now it’s Splinter perched above a group of human security guards. He declares that he’s escaping and starts a fight. They knock him unconscious and place his naked body inside a dank prison cell. Splinter awakens from the dream, naked again, claiming that it’s a sign.

Soon, Splinter is leaving Japan with Ninjara and the Turtles. April, Fu Sheng, Chu Hsi, and Oyuki are flying to America, but Splinter and the others are sailing to Tibet. Along the way, they see the sights and barter their goods and clothing to help continue the journey. While traveling on yak, they run across Katmandu, a six-limbed humanoid tiger (the cover’s layout is repeated again when Katmandu first appears, spying on the Turtles in the distance). He’s under attack by Whirling Dervishes, a group of ninjas who spin in circles like the Red Tornado.

After he’s aided by the Turtles and Splinter, Katmandu reveals that he’s headed for the same location as the Turtles, the Crystal Palace. Splinter wants to see his former mentor, Charlie Llama, again, and Katmandu is hoping to improve his karma by becoming Llama’s bodyguard and pupil. Because cultural sensitivity is very important, Katmandu spends the next few pages explaining karma, nirvana, and Buddhist principles. The group finally reaches the Crystal Palace, but it’s empty. Suddenly, a whirling four-armed skeleton emerges. Laughing manically, it races out of the door and disappears. Katmandu declares it “bad karma” as the next issue box promises “The Search for Charlie Llama!”

Review in a Half-Shell: It’s not a bad start for the new storyline. A punny name like “Katmandu” is what I expect from the toy line and not the more serious comic book, but I guess it’s so obvious it had to be done. I like the traveling scenes, and the two-page map that details how the Turtles are getting around and which countries they’re traveling through. It doesn’t come across as a forced geography lesson, unlike some of the heavy-handed messages of the earlier issues, and it adds to the atmosphere of the story.

I Love the (early) ‘90s: Michelangelo’s response to Katmandu’s lesson on nirvana is “Smells like teen spirit if ya ask me!” Splinter also declares on the first page that he feels like “a rat in a cage,” but this issue predates the Smashing Pumpkins song by three years.

I Was Not Aware of That: A “whirling dervish” is an actual term that can describe “somebody who busily does many things in quick succession” or a "member of an ascetic Muslim religious group known for very energetic whirling.”

TMNT Adventures #32 – May 1992

The Good, the Bad, and the Tattooed

Credits: Eric Talbot & Dean Clarrain (plot), Dean Clarrain (script), Chris Allan (pencils), Brian Thomas (inks), Gary Fields (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

After one of the gang members from the previous issue recovers from his beating, he explains to the Turtles that he came seeking their help. He reveals that his friend Tai San’s beloved chihuahua was stolen. Tai San soon arrives to give the details of the kidnapping. Gangsters known as the Yen Brothers have stolen his dog, and plan on killing it if he doesn’t throw his sumo-wrestling match. Ninjara, Raphael, and Leonardo go into the city to rescue Inky, the chihuahua. Everyone else keeps an eye on Tai San during his sumo match.

During the match, Tai San is introduced by his wrestling (and action figure) name, Tattoo.

Yes, Tattoo is a yellow-skinned sumo wrestler. In fairness, the other Asian characters aren’t colored this way, but it’s still surprising that even in the early ‘90s you could get away with a character like this. I don’t know if there was ever an in-story explanation for Tattoo’s bright yellow skin, but it wouldn’t surprise me since the creators of this book don’t strike me as the eager-to-offend type. It’s possible that the creators didn’t even want to make him yellow, and he’s colored this way just to match up with his action figure.

Anyway… Ninjara’s team rescues Inky from his captors, as Leonardo reminds us twice that he hates guns. Tattoo refuses to throw his match, which leads to the Yen Brothers’ goons attacking him after the competition. The Turtles, along with Splinter and Warrior Dragon, fight them off. As the Yen Brothers try to escape, they’re confronted by Inky, who is apparently psychopathically violent. Tattoo returns home with the Turtles, where he gives them a “very old, very special” sword as thanks.

Review in a Half-Shell: I guess it’s been a few issues since we’ve had a throwback to one of the earlier “introduce the new toy” stories. Tattoo’s devotion to Inky is kind of endearing, and it’s another example of the book going off into weird places a standard superhero comic wouldn’t go. Chris Allan’s art veers into a very cartoony direction, which keeps the story from getting too dull.

Pizza References: Donatello comments that Tattoo can “probably put away more pizzas than Michaelangelo*.” I think the TMNT Handbook should rate all characters on their pizza consumption abilities, rather than that “Class 10 Strength” nonsense.

*I haven’t mentioned this before, but Michelangelo was still being spelled “Michaelangelo” at this time, based on a misspelling that goes back to the first Mirage issue. According to Wiki, the actual spelling of the painter didn’t become the official spelling of the Turtle until the most recent series began.

TMNT Adventures #31 – April 1992

Turning Japanese

Credits: Dean Clarrain (script), Chris Allan & Brian Thomas (pencils), Rod Ollerenshaw (inks), Gary Fields (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

The Turtles are still in Japan, hanging out with the characters from the previous arc. After sushi is explained to them in great detail (just as it had to be explained to Homer Simpson at around the same time), Splinter suggests the Turtles explore Japan separately. While Michelangelo and Oyuki fly Japanese kites (Oyuki is the girl Khan kidnapped a few issues ago, although I think she’s only been identified by name in one issue), Leonardo trains with Splinter, Donatello investigates the damaged nuclear power plant, and Raphael examines a Torii with Ninjara. She explains that the Torii is a structure that acts as a gateway to other dimensions. This Torii leads to Yomi, aka the underworld, aka “the land of gloom.” Raphael finds himself strangely attracted to it, and has to be pulled away by Ninjara. She reasons that Raphael’s negative emotions draw him to the Torii, which makes her more interested in him.

Elsewhere, Donatello has an encounter with a manifestation of Yin and Yang, the Tao.

It encourages him to follow it to the peak of a mountain, where we can see the image of Yin and Yang on top of the nuclear plant’s cooling tower. Donatello’s response is “too weird,” which sums this scene up perfectly. Back to Raphael and Ninjara, we have the obligatory action scene. The street gang from issue #28 is back, hiding in the bushes. Raphael and Ninjara attack and defeat the gang easily (knocking a few teeth loose along the way).

As the last gang member falls unconscious, he reveals that they actually came seeking help. The issue draws to an end with an April O’Neil/Chu Hsi makeout scene (Wasn’t Casey Jones her love interest in other forms of TMNT continuity? Did he ever even appear in this title?), Leonardo breaking his katana while sparring with Splinter, and the images of Izanagi and Izanami reappearing over the island. The next issue box promises “something normal.” I wonder if kids were complaining that the series was getting too weird.

Review in a Half-Shell: This is mostly dedicated to character scenes, which reminds me of the myriad “let’s talk” post-crossover issues in the various X-titles. The four Turtles have all been defined pretty broadly in the past, which hasn’t been a problem since so much of the series is dedicated to action scenes, humor, or just exploring crazy ideas. Clarrain/Murphy is able to define the Turtles more clearly here, and sets up scenes that emphasize the differences between the characters. It’s a nice change of pace, and I like the vague clues that set up the next storyline.

Pizza References: Raphael would rather eat pizza than sushi, and Michelangelo performs a haiku dedicated to pizza and Japan:

“Rickshaws of pizza

Yin Yang crust upon my brain

Turning Japanese”

What the Shell? : I’m sure the title of this issue is a reference to the Vapors’ song, the meaning of which, as Pop-Up Video once explained to us, may or may not be a little racy.

TMNT Adventures #30 – March 1992

Midnight Sun – Part Three

Credits: Dean Clarrain (script), Chris Allan (pencils), Rod Ollerenshaw (inks), Gary Fields (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

We learn more about Chien Khan’s plan, as the demon Noi Tai Dar is summoned. Khan is offering him Hiroshima’s souls in exchange for having “the pit of nothingness” swallow mankind. As Fu Sheng explains to Oyuki, Khan’s young captive, the pit of nothingness is when a demon swallows a human’s soul and prevents him from moving to the next stage of life. There are two ways to open the doorway to the demon, and Warrior Dragon is committing one right now. After he destroys the nuclear plant’s cooling tower, Donatello inadvertently lets him know how to actually create a meltdown.

Ninjara reveals that she now has issues with Khan’s plan, because she didn't know it involved using nuclear energy.

Noi Tai Dar, ready to consume some souls, suddenly emerges from the cooling tower and blasts Warrior Dragon. The blast conveniently revives Dragon’s real personality, which enables us to see the epic battle depicted on this issue’s cover. Ninjara reveals that Khan’s portion of the spell isn’t finished yet, or else Noi Tai Dar wouldn’t still be bound to the nuclear plant. She leaves with Michelangelo, Raphael, and Donatello to stop Khan from sacrificing Oyuki, the “young, strong life” he needs to fully summon the demon. As Oyuki fights against Khan, she knocks off his mask, revealing his true face and stylish haircut.

Meanwhile, Splinter senses great spirits near the nuclear plant. Izanagi and Izanami, the two figures from the Japanese creation story, appear. They banish Noi Tai Dar back to the netherworld, as the Turtles rescue Oyuki from Khan. Khan manages to escape while no one’s looking (a trick he possibly learned from Shredder), but everyone still seems pleased at the end.

Review in a Half-Shell: It’s another all-action issue, running a full thirty pages (the only interior ads are for the ongoing Mighty Mutanimals series and “Yo Yogi Berry” Capri Sun). Since a giant demon is a much more exciting opponent than the generic thugs of the previous installments, the action really works this time. Chris Allan’s rendition of Noi Tai Dar is about as intense a demon you’re probably going to get in an Archie comic. Clarrain/Murphy is now going into different forms of mythology to create anthropomorphic characters, which is a clever direction to explore. It opens the door to a wide variety of stories, which helps to move the series beyond the predictable “human finds mutagen and becomes new action figure” formula the series could’ve easily given into. It’s hard to imagine when this series began that we would be getting stories about human sacrifice, soul-stealing demons, and the primordial couple of Japanese mythology. And since Izanagi and Izanami appear as actual characters in the story, I guess the world of TMNT has established its own true religion.

TMNT Adventures #29 – February 1992

Midnight Son – Part Two

Credits: Dean Clarrain (script), Chris Allan (pencils), Jon D’Agostino (inks), Gary Fields (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

Like the previous issue, the adventure opens with Splinter telling a story. He reveals that he lived outside of Hiroshima in 1945. One day, while sparring with his great-uncle and sensei, Gyogi, the Enola Gay flew overhead. While Splinter ran to warn his family, Gyogi watched the atomic bomb fall. Gyogi was blinded, but the family did manage to drive away from the radioactive fallout (the science of this is perhaps questionable). Today, Splinter has brought April and the Turtles to A-Bomb Dome, one of the few structures that withstood the blast.

Soon, the Turtles encounter Ninjara and an army of white ninjas. While Raphael finds Ninjara cute, she’s only interested in cutting out his heart. As Raphael puts it, “You may be foxy -- but you’re no lady!”

Meanwhile, Chien Khan is still holding Fu Sheng and Chu Hsi captive. Convinced that Khan is willing to kill Oyuki, the girl he kidnapped last issue, Fu Sheng agrees to help Khan summon the Warrior Dragon. When Khan adds his own ingredients to Fu Sheng’s transformative powder, Chu Hsi changes into a brainwashed Warrior Dragon. As he walks through the city, the Turtles cross his path. They climb on to Dragon’s body and ride along, as he heads for a nuclear power plant. Fu Sheng reveals to Oyuki that Khan’s plan is to destroy the power plant, so that the raw energy can open a demonic gateway.

Bonus: Ninjara's origin in just three panels.

Review in a Half-Shell: There is some nice character work with Splinter, but the majority of this issue is a fight scene. Unfortunately, Chris Allan’s action scenes aren’t particularly exciting, so it doesn’t quite work. I know that Ninjara goes on to become a major character, and her scenes here at least serve as a decent introduction.

Turtlemania: There’s an ad for the second TMNT Game Boy game, “Back from the Sewers.” I never owned a Game Boy, so I wasn’t able to experience these games (or the Game Boy Spider-Man game, which was apparently the only decent Marvel video game for years).

TMNT Adventures #28 – January 1992

Midnight Sun - Part One

Credits: Dean Clarrain (script), Chris Allan (pencils), Brian Thomas (inks), Gary Fields (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

The issue begins with the strangest abrupt opening yet.

We soon learn that Splinter is telling the Japanese creation story of Izangi and Izanami. Raphael comments that a blind god like Izanagi is the kind he can believe in, which is surely more bait for angry letters from protective parents. The Turtles, Splinter, and April are hiding in the luggage compartment of a commercial plane, on their way to Japan. April’s following the trail of Fu Shen and Chu Hsi to Hiroshima, picking up where her slightly tedious backup stories left off.

After fooling a guard at the airport (who somehow knows April O’Neil from American television), the group heads for the sewers. The plan is to stay there until it’s night, when the Turtles can move freely and search for their friends. Unfortunately, they run into a group of teenage punks who have confused them with the ninjas that are taking over the underworld. Those ninjas happen to turn up as the Turtles fight the teenage gang.

After a few pages of fighting and bad puns, the Turtles defeat their opponents and move on. One of the ninjas escapes and reports back to his master, Chien Khan. Khan has kidnapped a girl from the streets, and is threatening to kill her unless Fu Shen helps him take command of the Warrior Dragon. When Khan hears about the Turtles, he sends his minion Ninjara to deal with the problem.

Review in a Half-Shell: This is mostly setup for the Japan arc, and the pace is very leisurely. Once again, the Turtles face a group of opponents who aren’t that much of a threat, which is a problem the series seems to run into quite often. Chris Allan’s Turtles are also starting to look a little odd, as he seems to draw their noses in a way no one else does. I do like his human characters and his interpretation of Splinter, though.

What the Shell? : The letters page has people complaining about the Turtles engaging in the Satanic practice of “meditation” and the portrayal of a three-eyed character (Bellybomb), because that’s supposed to represent the Devil. I’m sure they’ll love the opening of this issue. There’s also a fan who opposes the “Storage Shell” TMNT action figures because they use sea life as weapons. The editorial response is “GOOD POINT” in giant print.

TMNT Adventures #25 – October 1991

Raw Power

Credits: Dean Clarrain (script), Chris Allan (pencils), Rod Ollerenshaw (inks), Gary Fields (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

We open with Bebop and Rocksteady going clothes (and gun) shopping. They’re interested in stealing some fireworks while in town, but Rocksteady isn’t sure when the 4^th of July is. Bebop proves he’s the smart one by suggesting they steal a calendar (preferably a “Sports Illuminated” swimsuit one). They head to the zoo, where they complete the next phase of their devious plan.

Meanwhile, the Turtles are facing the combined might of Slash, Bellybomb, and Krang-head Shredder. Krang is now able to use Shredder’s martial art skills against the Turtles…

…while Slash continues to show off his unique command of the English language.

(In case you're not clear on the logistics, I'll explain. Shredder still has a head, Krang's just sitting on it.) Luckily for the Turtles, Slash wanders off in search of his precious palm tree (he finds it), and Bellybomb is defeated by the sheer toxicity of his own bodily emissions.

The Turtles force Krang to remove himself from Shredder’s head, as Bebop and Rocksteady return.

See, kids? They didn’t kill the pretty animals. Shredder leaves, knowing he owes the Turtles a debt of honor. Bebop and Rocksteady take Krang and Bellybomb with them on the spaceship and drop them off on Morbus. They then return to the Edenworld planet. With the violence out of their system, they’re content to live naked with the animals again.

Review in a Half-Shell: Do I have to reiterate that this stuff is deliriously entertaining? This entire arc has actually been an “illusion of change” affair, but it’s executed so well it’s hard to complain.

Dragon Rage

Credits: Dean Clarrain (script), Chris Allan (pencils), Mark Pacella (inks), Gary Fields (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

Warrior Dragon stands above Chinatown, ready to stop Fu Sheng’s kidnappers. Unfortunately, not only people but cars all look the same to him, so he grabs the wrong one. He’s soon attacked by more ninjas, who April suspects have superhuman abilities. One of them unleashes a powder that transforms Warrior Dragon back into Chu Hsi. The ninjas disappear with Chu Hsi, leaving April alone to stop them.

Review in a Half-Shell: There’s a lot of action, and it’s staged in such a way that the ninjas don’t seem like a feeble threat to Warrior Dragon. Leaving April alone is a decent enough cliffhanger, but the effort to sell her as a solo star still seems strange to me.

Meanwhile in Riverdale… : Are you ready for the Koosh Kins? Apparently, the fourth issue of the mini never shipped.

TMNT Adventures #24 – September 1991

Gimme Danger!

Credits: Dean Clarrain (script), Garret Ho & Jim Lawson (pencils), Brian Thomas & Rod Ollerenshaw (inks), Gary Fields (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

Before Krang and the others can return to Earth, their spaceship completes its auto-pilot course and lands on an “Edenworld” planet. After the ship drops off its delivery of deer, Krang is shocked to discover that this planet is the one Bebop and Rocksteady were exiled to months earlier. The very naked Bebop and Rocksteady are bored with paradise and want to commit crimes again. They leave the planet, as the Turtles continue their search for Shredder in the New York sewers. They discover one of his hidden bases, just as Jim Lawson shows up to finish the issue.

Their fight is interrupted when Krang’s ship crashes in. The Turtles now face Slash, Bebop, and Rocksteady.

Once it’s pointed out to Bebop and Rocksteady that they’re only wearing fig leaves, they suddenly develop shame and leave. Krang and Bellybomb join Shredder for a conference while the Turtles are busy fighting Slash. Krang suggests they reunite in the spirit of “togetherness,” which leads to this shocking ending…

Review in a Half-Shell: This is a nice example of what I always liked about this title - crazy characters, action, humor, slow-burning storylines, and ridiculous cliffhangers. It’s too bad that Garret Ho’s very fluid cartooning is suddenly replaced by an awkward Jim Lawson job, though.

It Started in…Chinatown

Credits: Dean Clarrain (script), Chris Allan (pencils), Mark Pacella (inks), Gary Fields (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

In this April O’Neil backup story, April runs into Chu Hsi and Fu Sheng (the owner of the curio shop from #20) in Chinatown. When Fu Sheng is suddenly kidnapped by a group of ninjas, Chu Hsi transforms into the Warrior Dragon.

Review in a Half-Shell: It’s only a six-page story, so there’s not a lot to say. I seem to recall finding the April backup stories pretty dull as a kid, so I’m not sure where this is heading.

What the Shell? : There are three pages of letters in this issue, and most of them are gems. We’re in the middle of a “boys vs. girls” fight in the letters page (one writer brags about her friend named “CLAWS” who once “slashed one boy’s neck open with his fingernails when he wouldn’t leave her alone”), which started when a fan opined that a female Turtle would more interested in checking her mascara than fighting. There are also some letters personally addressed to the Turtles, one addressed to Shredder that asks him to stop being so mean, and an editorial response that confirms that the Turtles are fans of Public Enemy and the Jungle Brothers.

LINK: With this issue, Mike Sterling learns that this series can be a little odd.

TMNT Adventures #23 – August 1991

Search and Destroy

Credits: Dean Clarrain (script), Chris Allan (pencils), Brian Thomas (inks), Gary Fields (letters), Barry Grossman (colors)

The issue opens with the Turtles relaxing in their new hot tub. They invite April O’Neil to join them, but she wants nothing to do with heated sewer water. (I don’t want to think about the slash fiction this scene probably inspired). While April continues training with Splinter, the Turtles are sent to search for Shredder. They run across a group of thugs who are planning to blow up a section of the sewers and rob the armored car parked above. As the Turtles fight the crooks, the scene shifts to Morbus, the toxic waste dump planet where Krang was exiled months earlier. Krang’s shocked to discover someone else on the planet…

…Slash. Krang offers to take him to a world full of palm trees if he helps him out. They soon discover another alien sent to the prison planet, Bellybomb.

After Slash…slashes the guards who recently dropped Bellybomb off, Krang takes control of their spaceship. He leaves with Slash and Bellybomb and heads for a world of palm trees…

Review in a Half-Shell: It’s the first appearance of Slash, the evil ninja turtle with a palm tree fixation who talks like a beat poet. We’re also introduced to Bellybomb (credited to Stephen Murphy and Stephen Bissette in the indicia). They don’t do an awful lot in this issue, but they’re clearly works of inspired genius. The two stories in this issue transition between one another in a Watchmen-style, which also adds to surrealism. Chris Allan debuts as penciler, and while I find his Ninja Turtles a little too cute, he does a great job on the scenes set on Morbus.

Pizza References: An empty pizza box sits next to the hot tub on the first page, Michelangelo suggests taking a pizza break from searching for Shredder, and Leonardo recommends stopping for pizza after the Turtles defeat their opponents in the sewers.