Team Jacob

Posted by Sappho on July 9th, 2010 filed in Movies, Sexuality, Speculative Fiction and Other Geekiness

I have simple tastes, here. One is that I don’t go watch a movie that everyone I know seems to be giving a bad review to. For this reason, I haven’t yet watched, or read, any of the Twilight franchise, and so am not really qualified to declare a team.

On the other hand, I have simple tastes, here. Number one, I like to look at shirtless men more than I like to look at men wearing shirts. Number two, you can either be fair or dark – it’s truly OK if you’re naturally blond like Brad Pitt and, like Brad Pitt, have the complexion to go with it. But if your skin looks paler to me than the skin I’d expect to go with your hair and eyes, or if your skin looks paler to me than the skin I’d expect to go with an actual human being, I don’t find that sexy.

So, since Twilight’s mythos apparently involves applying make up to vampires to make them even whiter than they otherwise would be, and getting werewolves to take off their shirts at every opportunity, I’m weighing in for Team Jacob, on looks alone.