On this sunny and brisk Friday morning wherein I was able to get Scout and I out for a walk (and perhaps have accidentally stumbled into the donut shop), I find myself in pairing down mode.  I want to sit and read my friend's beautiful blogs.  I want to sip my Americano slowly.  I want to hold my sweet baby girl just a bit longer before I put her down to nap.  

I so appreciate having an online space in which to escape.  It's an integral part of my life, the writing of and reading of blogs.  I have made bosom friends and met myself in a gracious way.  Like I imagine a painter to her brushes or a sketch-artist to her pencils, I love the way my fingers adroitly fly over the keyboard, my soul comfortable and easy within technology.  

My sister came up to see Madonna with me two nights ago, and while we had such an epic time, it ended up being a stress trigger for us both.  Her wallet and phone were stolen at the concert and she was due to get on a plane the very next day - without ID.  My sister is my number 2, and we do not talk very often.  When I have her soul in front of me, I love to hear her speak and share it.  She also came up to be with Bowie...but that annoyance of life became the focus of our one day together, and thing after thing just kept going wrong.  She was able to get home, but as I drove a screaming Bowie and myself back to the house from the airport, I realized how deeply stressed I was.  I came home, put Bowie to bed, and promptly put myself down for a nap, more because I was so over-wrought and over-stimulated than sleepy.  I stared out the blinds for an hour.  My poor sister, Seattle keeps doing wrong by her. I miss her so much.  I miss all my family since having Bowie, it's changed my need for them somehow.

Joel came home after a busy day at work and also the first class of his trek to finishing his Master's in Theology (that he started 7 years ago), and we were both even too stressed to watch Star Trek, our usual relaxer.  He took his time making us a home-cooked meal, I sat on the couch with a mason jar of wine and just tried to breath.  I think what I hate most about stress is how it lingers in your body even when the stressor is gone.  

This morning, after a good amount of sleep (though not as good as this week has been, since Bowie slept through the night on Sun-Wed), and after a walk intended to rid my being of that residual adrenaline, all I want to do is linger on my friend's blogs, tumblers, and flickr photos.  I want the beauty of how they see their lives to wash over me with kindness and inspiration, like a soft inter-webular hug.

Ladies and Gentlemens
 (well, the 3 men that entered, anyway),

I have just performed a wonderful and silly act...that of placing several names written on goofy marketing stationary in a corporate compostable cup and choosing a winner for my bloggy birthday giveaway.

You know the prizes.
(Here is where I feel like Tyra Banks standing in front of 12 twiggy, bug-eyed beauties)
(not that you are either twiggy or bug-eyed, but most assuredly you must be a beauty!)
(but I digress)


The first paper-person clinging to my fingers as I draw them will get their choice of either some smashing earrings from Plume
 (writer, photographer, silversmith, and bestie extrodinare)
OR
a perfectly painted stone (i hear rumors from her that it might be an owl!!!!)
 from the stunning UmberDovely
 (writer, photographer, painter, textile queen, and bestie extrodinare)

(plus, they are both annoyingly beautiful)
and colorful.
i could go on and on.

AND THE FIRST WINNER IS...

Our lovely Bisquit!!!

(love this saucy mountain lady, plus she's a remarkable source of encouragement and delicious jewelery!)

Kristen, email me and you get to pick from the two prizes.

THE SECOND WINNER IS...

Our soulful sister in Portland, Miss Resolute Twig!

(she's such a sweet soul, courageous as hell, and a lover of nature!)
(she has a great etsy shop too, if you're looking for handmade journals or gentle jewels)
Susie, I'll let you know what you've won via email and get it shipped out!

To the rest of you cast about on my desk:

Tyra says in a melodramatic voice, "I'm sorry, but you are no longer in the running to becoming America's Next Top Model."

Heidi says, "As you know, in fashion, one day yaw in, the next day yaw ouddtt.
I'm sorry, yaw ouddtt.
Avidazen."

Then you as the contestant cries and gushes about how much you appreciated the opportunity and you've had the time of your life.

____
No but seriously,
I was really impressed with the quality of your feedback.  It not only made me feel as though what I do here (though totally started selfishly as an outlet for me) is meaningful to some of you, but it was also really fun to hear about the books and drinks you find most interesting.

 I absolute write in order to connect my human existence with others, so if you find a resonating thread, I hope you act on it and send me an email or comment.
Because we all need to know that we are not alone.
It's kind of my tangent, my tirade, my mantra...
self-care,
self-love,
and authentic, kind relationships.

And this here blog is my way of continually reminding my lovely (though stubborn) independent self:

You need people.
You need friends.
You need love.

That's all, my commerades.

Thanks ever so much for playing!

Come In!

Come In!

Welcome to my birthday party.

Bon Anniversaire to me...

________

GIVEAWAY GOODIES

_______

In celebration, I decided to host a little giveaway in order to get some feedback and have a bit of fun!  There are two prizes, so I'll pick two winners using a random number generator.  The first winner will get his/her choice of prizes...

One bonny lass/lad will be the happy recipient of one of UmberDove's new series of painted rocks.  The one shown here has already flown to its home, but she is sending another one in its stead.  I can't wait for you to see it.  These things are flying like her husband's famous (they are!) flapjacks out of her ETSY shop.  

Some great loot from some great gals!

I know for a fact that either of these two would do cartwheels to win the other's prize.

Heck, can I enter?!!!

________

GIVEAWAY DETAILS

_______

Tomorrow marks my 3-year blog anniversary, and I wanted to drop a quick note to tell you that I am hosting a giveaway tomorrow with some SERIOUSLY SWEET PRIZES that you will most assuredly want to posses.  I've purchased a few coveted items from not ONE but TWO of my talented artist friends in order to lure you into my giveaway.

There is a lot of talk in the blogging world about privacy and disclosure.  Though many of you may not agree or practice it yourself, I have always approached this little web page as entirely for me...and that my readers and friends return because they want to read about me and my life and my struggles and my joys and my thoughts and my poetry. I am a vulnerable person anyway, happy to share my thoughts and journey to whatever degree you might be able to handle, so it follows that blogular activity would be a similar sentiment. 

Anyway, I started this blog because I am a female who is an artist who deals with severe depression and who has found that being an introvert and having a penchant towards moody, melancholy things is beautiful and to be embraced solely because its ME.  I use this place to be real...and that will never change. 

Yesterday's blog post was one of the first in a long while that was sad.  It was really sad.  I felt horrible and although I thought about putting a positive spin on the thing, the truth was that I didn't want to coat something that didn't feel authentic.  I am glad I didn't.

One of the most amazing results of this determined honesty (which I am not preaching should be the standard for blogging, this is entirely about me), is the overwhelming encouragement I received from this wonderfully supportive and kind blogging community of which I am a member.  (If you aren't yet acquainted, stick around and you'll start seeing similar names on comments and start perusing other blogs and you'll see how well we love each other).  I truly feel that if I had not expressed my self-pity, frustrations, and sadness, I would never have heard some of what helped me recover.

Today is new and I have hope and I am entirely sure it's thanks to the safety-net of words people have gifted to my battered soul.

Here's a bit of what helped:

I share not only because it's healthy for my soul to express aloud, as well as writing it down...but also to hear your thoughts, your stories, and receive the benefit of being in community...your encouragement.  I know its been a major help to many other bloggers in their times of despair. 

Even the smallest of words can save someone from having to continually balance on their soul's precarious tight-rope walk.  If we know we can fall, and still be safe...well, then...we can be helped.  

And we can rest.

crm

Victoria over at sfgirlbybay (one of the very first blogs I started reading (back in 2008) and one of my very favorites) started a new "blog it forward" project using a new website that I am totally addicted to, Pinterest.  It makes grabbing internet content incredibly cohesive and piles everything I love into one place...well, one place with several mood boards I can create based on content.  It's a blogger's dream come true.

Anyway, this project is all about a theme close to my  heart lately...HOME.  I am working on a collaborative project ( flickr photo group anyone?! ) about the sites of your own home, but for now, I've had such great fun "pinning" things that combine my love of my home.  

knowing myself


knowing others


knowing seattle


knowing how to pass the time in style


but truly:

What does home mean to you?
Want to put together a post/pinboard about it?
Just let me know and I'll feature you with a link.

The blogger that tagged me to be "IT" next was Diana Mini Love.
Follow the progress by checking out tomorrow's blogger, Lawn Party.  

Here's recap info:

Cozily,

~crm

Today I am excited about an opportunity to continue networking myself.  Rachel of Lovely Clusters has organized a way for bloggers to become better acquainted.  Most of you following me are already friends or family, but if not, I want to take the time to (re) introduce myself.

My name is Candace Morris, and I am an aspiring writer/photographer. I used to teach high schoolers about literature and the English language. My husband, kitty Octavia, and I have recently moved our city-dwelling selves to the country life just outside of Seattle.  We love bustle and culture, but we also crave the silence of wind in the trees.  We spend our days listening to owls hoot, watching deer creep across our property, sipping hot tea, and embracing our old souls.   I've become devoted to living a slow-paced life, full of soulful connections and choices.  To create, to relate, to inspire...these are what I was born to do.  You may wonder at my use of the word melancholy, but I've come to see that my soul finds comfort in shadow and delights in big drops of rain.   This beautiful sadness is profoundly important to my self-definition.

Most of my work has been on my various blogs, but also I have written for Antler Magazine.  Truth be told, my most proficient genre is in letter-writing.  I find nothing more encouraging in life (perhaps except sharing my journey with my husband) than hand-written letters.  My photographs are also featured on this blog, but can also be found on my flickr profile.

My inspiration comes from literature and the written word.  I find great comfort in solitude and reflection.  In addition, I come to other bloggers for encouragement and support.  I recently went through a deeply profound personal tragedy and have been entirely buoyed by my fellow bloggers.  A few of these are:  The Noisy Plume, Umberdove, She, Thoughts and Biro Sketches, and Sunny Rising Leather (not to mention countless design blogs!).  I also spend a lot of time on my husband's blog catholicbeer.

Hope you'll be a regular 'round these parts!

Candace

  

Goodness me!  Is it really already Friday afternoon?  What a  blur of a week.  As you may have noticed, I've been concentrating most of my bloggular energies over at mine and Kelly's baby, Pretty, Please...trying to get that off the ground and into the already inundated world of design/professional blogs.  There's nothing like hoping, right?! ;)  (Feel free to add us to your following list anytime!)

I've also had the immense pleasure of helping Umber with her show this week in promotion as well as the ever-important task of holding little paintings while she hammers in nails. From my perspective, it looked something like this: