Just as I suspected, December has started in 5th gear and maintained this steady, exciting, and dangerous speed.  Unfortunately, when things get fast, this musing lady simplifies her usually copious and rich thought-life.  Instead of staying awake nights pondering my way through life, I am envisioning spreadsheet after spreadsheet of christmas gift ideas, christmas craft ideas, birthday gift ideas (mr. saint turns this month - as well as many others),  menus, meal plans, family get-togethers, outfits for art-show openings...all of this on top of maintaining my regularly active social life AND my recently busy full-time job.

But there are many moments where my brain seeps through these cracks (gross), and I hear a wee voice ask me when I am going to get back to writing...to reading...to taking photographs...to blogging...to eye brow waxing.  All of these things contribute greatly to the luxury of my soul, and I wonder how long I can possibly exist in such a neglectful state.

My heart begins to thrash around in my chest like a caged bird, my breathing stops remembering that it is an autonomic response.  I suddenly cannot think of an outfit or manage to put together the simpliest of weekly menus.  It is in this pre-nervous breakdown state that I speak from the mountain tops to myself:

"DO NOT PANIC."

And then I feel better.

Because there is THE ISSUE.

and then there's the PANIC (feeling/judgment) about THE ISSUE.

The later is ALWAYS, always worse.

 

Joel had to check my work.  He approved.

(But he always does ;) )