Though I do not wish to spend all my days in 80 degree sunshine, I am still a California girl by birth. Right about this time of year, I can close my eyes and feel my hair whipping my face as I ride in my Mom's old '57 Chevy Station Wagon, windows down because there was no A/C. She raised four kids single-handedly for 10 years and we were rather tight on money, but she seemed to make special outings happen. I remember not only frequent trips to Disneyland, but also trips to
Ventura beach. We would leave at sunrise and all sleep in the car as she drove the 45min to the seaside, then spend all day swimming and sunning. Lunches on that day, though nothing fancier than homemade PB&Js, a thermos of cold water, and nacho cheese Doritos, never tasted better. Come sunset, with sand-filled swimsuits, we would climb back into Betsy and watch the golden light on the horizon and drift off to the sound of the wind drying our hair as we drove home.
Windows Down.
Always Windows Down.
Later on as a teenager, my best friend Keri and I would take several trips, looking for trouble (we never found any, we were good girls afterall) and turning heads as much as possible, which is easy to do in a bikini while driving. Her VW Bug was my ticket to freedom, and also didn't have A/C.
Thank God.
I'm going home to Southern California this weekend to see my Teresa and Clara, and I cannot tell you how much my skin aches for a drive like this. I've requested to see my ocean.
I love your salt-water soul,
Happy Monday!
Senior Booze and I have returned from our road-trip. Thank God we rented a car, otherwise all of our loot would never have fit. Though I am unashamed to admit that I wish this was all for us, I am here to say it isn't.
Working on pictures and stories from the trip soon, stay tuned.
*photo courtesy of hubby
I've returned from my week of self-indulgent rejuvenation provided for me by
Mrs. UmberDove. Truth be told, I was originally headed down to be with her as she started chemotherapy, but since our healthcare system is determined to make things as difficult as it can, that has since been postponed. It was a conflicting thing...for I did want to be there as support and distraction during treatment, but it was also so nice for us both that she got to be herself...well, thriving, funny, energetic, inspired...for a week spent with me.
It was interesting, our conversations could be summed up in two buzz words that kept creeping up:
:: INTENTIONALITY ::
:: EASE ::
JOURNAL ENTRIES
_______
"
cloudy. loving it. matches my desire to crawl under the blanket of my life and peak ever so gingerly, vulnerably. Read, Write, Create. Be. Take Photographs."
______
"I wander through the house, taking in the intentionality of each vignette. I find reassurance in them, quiet in them. In her. She, and her things, have always put me at EASE. Stuff. The intentional stuff. This is a definition of home to me."
_______
"The earth is so marvelous. So worthy of staring, gawking, of marvel. We know this as kids, how to we unlearn it? Teenagers. The worst thing a human soul must endure, teenage years. We learn then to marvel at ourselves, our insides, our emotions, our relationships. If we don't come full circle, we're fucked."
_______
"Stumbled into this Finnish Spa...outdoor hot tubs with a cafe inside. Magically, a live folk band plays. A gentleman sitting close...smells of patchouli and unbathed skin, but also smoke and something else intoxicating. The band plays this beautiful exotic Swedish folk song and I feel completely transported."
"I can nap, I can talk or not talk, I can refresh myself as I would alone. Interesting to observe myself letting go and having anxiety about truly relaxing, flashing moments of the fear of boredom when boredom is the bitch I came to pursue."
_______
"
Today I skim the surface of the soul. I crave a mindless exercise...a movie perhaps. My many thoughts threaten to delve me into depths of analysis and emotion of which I am simply not capable. I love how we can be separate together as we wander through bookstores and sit in silent reverie."
_______
"Just returned from a five mile picture walk. Have underestimated how I missed her so. I suppose feeling so good about her, in turn, helps me feel good about myself again. If I admire her, then I admire what she admires, so I can therefore borrow her perspective and see myself in a loving way. This is not unlike my saint. This reconnection with her brings me to the version of myself I most love."
_______
"Something the yoga teacher said this morning keeps repeating in my head. Though striving towards betterment is innate to the human soul, we must remember that we are just as we should be right here and now. The product of our striving is not the way towards satisfaction, but being at ease in the moment."
And there you have it folks...a truly sacred week of rest for me.
I ate well, slept well, exercised well, wrote well, and loved well.
It was a very, very long drive home.
But somewhere between the Northern California seaside and the great open fields of Central Oregon,
I put the year to rest
and decided to forgive it
for being so relentlessly wretched.
And thereby forgiving myself for feeling similarly.
To the pursuit of ease,
If you are more curious than was sated by the above superfluity of photographs, please click your on the above photo album for even more nonsense.
I cannot report on this weekend with my usual attention to detail, as I am visiting my
Kelly for the week; however, I will leave you this as a little appetizer, a teaser of sorts...of the many more pictures, observations, and moments that I have to share with you.
But for now, I will say this. Being here is like going on a retreat for bourgenouing artists combined with a holistic self-care center. I have never eaten this many vegetables in one day, spoken this unabashedly or prolifically about art and its process in our lives, or been so unaware of time and its passing. Oh how I needed this rest. As a result, I've decided to shut down my internet socializing significantly, and this has already decreased my anxiety by 50%.
Off to gobble up a veggie burger and sweet potato fries...to be followed up by a lemon meringue pie I whipped up. See you later in the week!
It's an early morning for me! I am off to drop my parents at the airport and then head out to the open road for the 10 hour journey from Seattle, Washington, to Arcata, California.
(last summer)
I've collected all my road trip/hang with
Kelly materials:
old magazines for her (I always gave them to her after I was done)
some raspberry jam
my various journals
the beginning of a writing project
cameras
music and podcasts cued up
roots newly dyed
toes newly painted
snacks packed
and layers of clothing...because the seaside is often tumultuous and unpredictable.
I love the open road.
And call me a bit crazy, but I love driving long distances alone.
See you in Cali!
Don't worry, I'm sure we will have many postings to show you of our misadventures.
Which may or may not include:
copious amounts of vegetable and fruit eating
making jam or some other pioneer woman treat
drinking of various bottles of wine, gin, and dare I say...bourbon?
(which shall inevitably produce a simultaneous combustion of uncontrollable giggles and long-due tears)
staring at the ocean
(me with camera)
(she with paintbrush)
sleep
sitting in the grass
and other shenanigans of the relaxing sort.
Honk Honk!
Too-ta-looo.
Le adios!
Arrribba Arriba!
p.s.
We are moving. Our country life is coming to a close, and I couldn't be more sad. But it's time...more on this later.