When a Short Short Path Isn't...

It appears that the unknown poet of the Third Galaxy, not long after his proclamation of having taken the "Short Short Path" had to eat his words. Well, at least we should give him credit for that much honesty, a commodity in short supply on that unfortunate world...

Well, dear hearts, sorry to say I have to admit that the Short Short Path to Total Complete Enlightenment has a few drawbacks I was not aware of...

First of all, it isn't short, let alone "Short, Short" -- in fact it isn't even a "Path", neither is exactly "Enlightenment" and, therefore, cannot be called "Total" or "Complete".

Secondly, if you have lived all your life with your head up your ass, it will, since it is the nature of things to return to their former state, in this case, pop right back to where from you pulled it out.

Thirdly, the experience of pulling your head out of your ass is just that -- an experience. How can any experience be "complete"? Well, if you blow your brains out or something final like that -- maybe, but then, don't you know, that makes a number of assumptions about the way things are which may not be valid.

So, it would seem the situation is hopeless -- however, there may be hope...

During those few moments of seeming freedom, those rare moments that seem to come to us all., you can blow your nose, take a breath of fresh air and get a somewhat less shit-eyed view of the world. If one is truly fortunate, the concept may dawn for you that there actually is, for want of a better word, a Reality.

Such understanding, can, in its unfolding, become the first steps on the Path of Simplicity.

More about that later...

The Short Short Path to Total Complete Enlightenment

I've been away for a while, doing deep research into the Absolute Truth, 21st Edition and return now with a report of what that enigmatic fellow, the unknown poet of the Third Galaxy had to say about the Short Short Path...

Well, dear hearts, I finally did it -- I took the short, short Path to Total, Complete Enlightenment.

As you know the Method is quite simple: bend over, grab your right ear with your left hand, your left ear with your right hand and (briskly) pull you head out of your ass.

As I suspected, it does hurt a bit -- however, when one has acquired Total Complete Enlightenment, one does not say, "OW!" or curse and swear -- being detached and overflowing with love and bliss, the Enlightened One does not fuss over things that amount to small skeeter bites...however:

"OW!GAWDDAMN!THIS!SHIT!HURTS!@!#!&!" somehow slipped past my lips.

However, being Totally Completely Enlightened, I realized at once that if people can hear you five blocks away it's okay for an Enlightened One to scream. In my case, I received not only complaints from my neighbors but from people I've never seen before. In fact, there was a notice in the Poosah City Gazette that people thought that a wounded animal had escaped from the City Zoo.

That said though, take some advice from a Totally Enlightened with a sore bum --before taking the Short Short Path, make some serious effort to deflate the empiric ego -- pulling his inflated ego out of his ass is what made the Path so painful for this fellow.