Witchcraft Month Quick Picks and Pans

Bell, Book and Candle (1958) It’s hard not to be captivated by director Richard Quine’s whimsical adaptation of John Van Druten’s play, about Gillian Holroyd (Kim Novak), a witch who must rethink her ways after finding the man of her dreams. James Stewart (who co-starred with Novak the same year in Vertigo) plays the object of her affection, Shepherd Henderson. One of the many highlights is Elsa Lanchester’s brilliant, eccentric supporting performance, as Gillian’s meddling aunt Queenie. The strong cast also features Jack Lemmon as Gillian’s slightly-less-talented warlock brother, Ernie Kovacs as a hack writer, and Hermoine Gingold as a rival witch. 

Rating: ****. Available on Blu-ray and DVD 

 

The Witch’s Mirror (aka: El Espejo de la Bruja) (1962) After she’s poisoned by her scheming doctor husband Eduardo (Armando Calvo), Elena (Dina De Marco) returns as a vengeful spirit to torment him and his new wife Deborah (Rosita Arenas). When Deborah becomes horribly disfigured in a fire, Eduardo tries to restore her appearance, using skin grafts from cadavers. Unsurprisingly, things don’t proceed as planned. The Witch’s Mirror packs a lot of entertainment in its scant 76-minute running time, channeling an E.C. Comics-style revenge story, while drenched in gothic atmosphere.  

Rating: ***½. Available on Blu-ray (included in the Indicator Mexico Macabre box set) and DVD

 

The Devonsville Terror (1983) Director/co-writer Uli Lommel’s uneven but sporadically engaging film is set in New England but was shot in Wisconsin. In the brief prologue, circa 1683, three women accused of witchcraft in a small village are summarily tried and executed. Before the leader perishes, she vows revenge against the descendants of those who wronged them. 300 years later, three women arrive in town, where not much has changed about the residents’ attitudes toward women. One bright spot is Donald Pleasence as Dr. Warley, who contends with a centuries-old curse that causes a deadly worm infestation. While the incel-like behavior of the male townspeople is tough to watch, their gory, over-the-top comeuppance might make this worth a look. 

Rating: **½. Available on Blu-ray and DVD

 

The Witches Mountain (1973) After he rejects his ex-girlfriend’s offer for a whirlwind vacation, a photojournalist immerses himself in a new assignment to investigate a mystery in the countryside. He encounters a coven of witches residing in the mist-shrouded mountains, but their discovery could mean his doom. The Witches Mountain is distinguished primarily for having been banned by the Spanish government at the time for its supernatural subject. While the cinematography is excellent, it’s slow moving and ultimately unsatisfying. 

Rating: **½. Available on Blu-ray

 

The Witchmaker (aka: The Naked Witch) (1969) A group of college researchers travel to a Louisiana bayou to study the witchcraft practitioners in the area. Meanwhile, a warlock, Luther the Berserk (John Lodge),lurks in the shadows, searching for potential victims (he drains their blood to keep his ancient witch lover alive). The clueless students are picked off one by one. Somehow, the movie manages to squander its premise, dragging on and on, with too many talky scenes. Don’t be deceived by the lurid alternate title, which promises more than it delivers. 

Rating **. Available on Blu-ray, DVD (Out of Print), Prime Video and Tubi 

Necropolis (1986) In the film’s prologue, set in New Amsterdam, Eva (LeeAnne Baker) a powerful witch (who knew 17^th century witches had permed hair, and wore lingerie and blue eye shadow?) is hunted down and destroyed. The story jumps forward three centuries to modern-day New York, where the reincarnated witch, now sporting a New Wave hairdo runs amok in the city. A police detective and a snooping reporter combine forces to track down the ancient baddie. Writer/director Bruce Hickey’s would-be Satanic panic movie is filled with laughable dialogue, cheap sets, and mediocre makeup, but its worst offense is that it pulls its punches. Avoid this tepid mess. 

Rating: 2 stars. Available on DVD and Tubi

 

The Adventure-a-Thon Wrap-up

 

Well, folks, the Adventure-a-Thon is coming to an end, but oh what a blogathon it’s been! With more than 30 participants from around the globe, it’s been one of our most successful events yet. Thanks to everyone who made it happen – we couldn’t have done it without you. An extra-special thanks goes out to my wonderful co-host, Gill, for going above and beyond to spread the word about the blogathon, and for keeping everything on track. Shameless plug: Gill and I will be hosting our second blogathon of the year this December, so watch for our announcement in the next few months. We’d love to have you all back.

But wait, it’s not over yet… We had a last-minute flurry of posts, which you can enjoy below, along with links to recaps from the past three days. We hope you enjoy them as much as we enjoyed bringing them to you.

Thanks to everyone who entered the Seventh Voyage of Sinbad Blu-ray contest. While I wish I could give everyone a prize, there can only be one winner, and the winner is (Drum roll, please)… Stacia from She Blogged by Night. Congratulations! Please email me at barry_cinematic@yahoo.com to claim your prize.

P.S., for anyone who was wondering about responses about their favorite Harryhausen flick, it was a toss-up between Clash of the Titans (1981) and Mysterious Island (1961).

In addition to today’s links, be sure to visit the Day 1, 2, and 3 Recaps: 

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

 

Fasten your seatbelt, make sure your chair is locked in an upright position, and prepare for Kristina at Speakeasy’s review of The Flight of the Phoenix (1965). https://hqofk.wordpress.com/2025/05/04/flight-of-the-phoenix-1965/

 

Kayla at Whimsically Classic invites you to set sail on The African Queen (1951). https://whimsicallyclassic.com/2025/05/04/adventure-a-thon-the-african-queen-1951/

 

Rebecca from Taking Up Room takes a gander at Bela Lugosi in The Return of Chandu (1934). https://takinguproom.com/2025/05/04/the-return-of-chandu/

 

Sally Silverscreen from 18 Cinema Lane invites you to enjoy A Little Romance (1979). https://18cinemalane.com/2025/05/04/take-3-a-little-romance-1979-review/

 

Tigerhearts Tales from  Films & the View from Inside My Head shares her thoughts about The Brain (aka: Le Cerveau) (1969). https://tigerheartstales.wordpress.com/2025/05/05/four-men-one-woman-a-leopard-and-a-whole-lot-of-money/

 

  

The Mismatched Couples Blogathon – Day 1 Recap

Welcome, one and all, to Day One of the Mismatched Couples Blogathon, a three-day-plus celebration of two characters who go together like oil and water (but shake ‘em up and see what happens!). We have ten wonderful posts for your perusal, and I can’t wait to see what the next two days bring.

Before we look at those, I’d like to give a hearty shout out to my cohost with the most, Gill from Realweegiemidget Reviews for always lending an ear regarding my cockamamie ideas for blogathons (like this one) and being a constant source of positivity and encouragement. Cheers!

If you’ve signed up, but your post isn’t quite ready (present company included), we’ll feature it on Day Two or Day Three. Latecomers are also welcome (just drop us a line). Post a comment below, email me at barry_cinematic@yahoo.com, or DM me on Twitter (@barry_cinematic). You may also contact Gill by commenting on her post, or through her blog’s Contact Me page.

But enough of my blabbing. Here are the posts from Day 1…

Dan from Crimson Kimono sits a spell with Bill and Willa from What Happens Later (2023). 

Andrew from The Stop Button spends some quality time with Oscar and Felix from The Odd Couple (1968). 

Quiggy at The Midnite Drive-in roams the post-apocalyptic wasteland with Vic and Blood in A Boy and His Dog (1975). 

Kurt from Forgotten Cinema reminds us about the unlikely pairing of Derringer and Pahoo in Yancy Derringer (1958-1959).  

John at UK Film Nerd visits with frenemies Davidge and Drac from Enemy Mine (1985). 

 

Terence of A Shroud of Thoughts shares his thoughts about Nero Wolfe and Archie Goodwin in The Golden Spiders: A Nero WolfeMystery (2000). 

Ruth from Silver Screenings tells all in her review of Johnny Stool Pigeon (1949). 

Brian of Films from Beyond looks at the tender story of a man and his dummy in Devil Doll (1964). 

Mitchell from It’s About TV discusses Harry Orwell and Lt. Trench of Harry O. (1974-1976). 

 

And Gill from Realweegiemidget Reviews introduces us to Ansa and Hoppola in the Finnish Oscar-nominated charmer, Fallen Leaves (aka: Kuolleet Lehdet) (2023). 

Viva Mexico Month Quick Picks and Pans

 

Bajo la Sal (aka: Under the Salt) (2008) This melancholic, noir-flavored crime thriller from director Mario Muñoz is based on the story "La Venganza del Valle de las Muñecas" (aka: “The Revenge of the Valley of the Dolls”). Comandante Trujillo (Humberto Zurita), a disgraced police detective, is called to a small town to help investigate a series of murders of young women in and around a vast salt harvesting facility. The common link is the victims were all expelled from the local high school. Signs point to Victor (Ricardo Polanco), a troubled young student who works at his father’s funeral parlor. In his spare time, he makes stop-motion horror films and obsesses over Isabel (Irene Azuela), a former student who’s looking for a way out. Serguei Saldívar Tanaka’s exceptional cinematography exploits the town’s unforgiving landscape, exemplified by a vast sea of salt. It’s a fascinating, unrelentingly grim movie that melds style with substance. 

Rating: ****. Available on DVD

 

 

Darker than Night (1975) In writer/director Carlos Enrique Taboada’s supernatural gothic thriller, Ofelia Escudero (Claudia Islas) inherits her reclusive aunt’s estate. There’s only one request: she must care for her aunt’s beloved cat. Under the watchful eye of disapproving housekeeper Sofia (Alicia Palacios), Ofelia and her pals move in to the spooky old mansion. Almost immediately, strange things begin to occur, with deadly consequences. It’s an atmospheric, unsettling slow burn, relying more on an overwhelming sense of dread, rather than gore and jump scares. 

Rating: ***½. Available on Blu-ray (included in Vinegar Syndrome’s box set, “Mexican Gothic: The Films of Carlos Enrique Taboada) and Tubi

Sombra Verde (aka: Untouched) (1954) Ricardo Montalban stars as Federico Gascón, a young professional sent by a big-city pharmaceutical company to the Mexican jungle to search for source of cortisone. When his guide is killed by a snake, Federico loses direction, eventually stumbling upon a sanctuary owned by the reclusive Don Ignacio Santos (Víctor Parra). Santos is as fiercely protective of his privacy as he is of his young daughter, Yáscara (Ariadne Welter). Sparks fly when the unhappily married Federico falls in love with free-spirited Yáscara. Featuring good performances by Parra, Welter and a young Montalban, Sombra Verde is well worth a look. They don’t make ‘em like this anymore. 

Rating: ***½. Available on DVD

 

The Untamed (2016) In this fascinating, unnerving horror film from director/co-writer Amat Escalante, a middle-aged couple in rural Mexico harbor a bizarre secret in their cottage: a multi-tentacled alien creature, which arrived in a meteorite. Escalante focuses on young mother Alejandra’s (Ruth Ramos) unhappy marriage. When her path crosses with Verónica (Simone Bucio), they find solace in the creature, but there’s a terrible price. The ambiguous extraterrestrial, which could serve as a metaphor for toxic relationship, fosters a kind of drug-like dependency among everyone that comes into contact with it, providing pleasure and pain in equal measures. The Untamed wears its influences on its sleeve (especially Andrzej Zulawski’s 1981 film, Possession and Jonathan Glazer’s Under the Skin), but it has an identity all its own. 

Rating: ***½. Available on Blu-ray, DVD and Kanopy

 

Cemetery of Terror (1985) Some horny guys try to spice up their party by stealing a body from a morgue (because nothing turns women on more than a pilfered cadaver), and raising the dead through demonic incantations in an ancient book. Before you know it, zombies are running amok in a graveyard scene (with multicolored backlighting) that looks like it’s straight out of the Thriller music video (there’s even a kid with a Michael Jackson jacket). Cemetery of Terror borrows heavily from Halloween with its protagonist, Hugo Stiglitz as Dr. Cardan (a Dr. Loomis type), relentlessly pursuing an unstoppable killer. 

Rating: ***. Available on Blu-ray and DVD

 

Santo in the Vengeance of the Mummy (1971) In one of the weaker Santo movies, our titular hero travels to the jungles of Mexico on a research trek* to explore the remnants of an ancient civilization. The local townspeople aren’t thrilled with the appearance of meddling outsiders, who are killed off one by one by a reanimated mummy (a surprisingly large number of people die under Santo’s watch, makings me wonder if they were better off on their own). The movie is surprisingly short on action and more talky than many other Santo movies, and the “Scooby-Doo” climax doesn’t help matters. 

* Fake Fact: From 1958 to 1974, all Mexican archaeological expeditions were legally required to include El Santo, for their own protection. 

Rating: **½. Available on Blu-ray (included in the “Santo: El Enmascarado De Plata” box set, DVD and Midnight Pulp

Santo vs. Infernal Men (1961) Santo’s second cinematic adventure (following Santo vs. Evil Brain) is a bit of a letdown, with the silver-masked wrestler as a supporting character in his own movie. The central plot deals with an undercover police detective, Joaquín (Joaquín Cordero), infiltrating a crime ring, with the help of Santo. In 1959, Joselito Rodríguez and Enrique Zambrano shot two movies back-to-back in Cuba, and compared to its predecessor, Infernal Men seems incomplete, almost as if the filmmakers only had enough footage for one entire film. Santo appears in a few scenes to flesh out the action, but it’s clearly Cordero’s movie. Santo vs. Infernal Men affords an interesting glimpse of pre-Castro Cuba, but the rest of the movie is a bore. While Santo’s first movie is far from perfect, you’re better off seeing that instead. 

Rating **½. Available on Blu-ray (available individually, or included in Indicator’s “Enter Santo” boxed set)

 

September Quick Picks and Pans

 

The Spiral Staircase (1946) This superior gothic suspense film from director Robert Siodmak (based on the novel Some Must Watch, by Ethel Lina White) is short on plot but heavy on character, and dripping with atmosphere. Dorothy McGuire plays Helen, a young mute woman who might be next on a serial killer’s list. George Brent and Gordon Oliver are stepbrothers at odds with each other, and Ethel Barrymore appears as Mrs. Warren, a feisty bedridden matriarch. Elsa Lanchester almost steals the show as Mrs. Oates, a plucky housekeeper. It’s slow burn, leading to an explosive finale inside a shadowy old mansion (where the majority of the movie takes place). It’s a nail-biting experience, anchored by McGuire’s riveting performance and a cast of eccentric supporting characters. 

Rating: ****. Available on Blu-ray and DVD

 

Vanishing Waves (2012) Co-writer/director Kristina Buozyte’s Lithuanian science fiction thriller plays like a more cerebral version of The Cell (2000). An emotionally stunted researcher, Lukas (Marius Jampolskis), participates in an experiment to access the brain waves of Aurora (Jurga Jutaite), a comatose patient. As he delves deeper into Aurora’s fantasy world, Lukas becomes infatuated with her, much to the detriment of his girlfriend, Lina (Martina Jablonskyte). Lukas and Aurora seem to share a strange symbiosis, as their bond becomes increasingly emotional Meanwhile, he attempts to keep his relationship a secret from his colleagues. It’s a brooding, sometimes frustrating, meditation on science, love and ethics, that will likely captivate some and alienate others. 

Rating: ***½. Available on Blu-ray, DVD and Kanopy

 

Hercules in the Haunted World (1961) Drector Mario Bava takes a shot at sword and sandal movies with this mildly entertaining entry into the long-running series about the mythical Greek strongman. Hercules (Reg Park) and his pal Theseus (George Ardisson) travel to the underworld, in search of the golden apple, which will purportedly restore Hercules’ betrothed, Deianira, back to good health. Unfortunately, there’s push-back from the god Pluto when Theseus attempts to escape the underworld with the god’s daughter, Persephone (Evelyn Stewart). Christopher Lee also appears, as devious, would-be ruler Lico. Considering what was probably a very tight budget, the film looks great, bathed in bold reds and greens, with some inventive set design.    

Rating: ***. Available on Blu-ray, DVD and Kanopy

Night of the Big Heat (aka: Island of the Burning Damned) (1967) With the presence of director Terence Fisher, along with Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee, you would be led to believe this low-budget British film came from Hammer. Unfortunately, it’s a talky exercise, missing the spit and polish of that legendary production company. Lee plays a scientist, researching a potential alien invasion, and Cushing is a small-town country doctor. An inordinate amount of time is spent on a love triangle between a cocky author (Patrick Allen), his wife (Sarah Lawson), and mistress (Jane Merrow). It’s a big disappointment when we finally catch a glimpse of the aliens (which resemble glowing, pulsing lumps), as well as the abrupt, deus ex machina ending, but the movie has its moments. 

Rating: ***. Available on Blu-ray (Region B), DVD and Tubi

Evil Toons (1992) – First of all, don’t expect toons in this direct-to-video T&A fest from Fred Olen Ray, obviously intended to ride the coattails of Who Framed Roger Rabbit. There's only one (crudely animated) cartoon character in the whole flick, and he barely has any screen time. Four nubile women (in various states of undress) are hired to clean up a dusty old house. One of them encounters an ancient book that looks suspiciously like Evil Dead's Necronomicon, becoming possessed by a malevolent creature. Even bit parts by veteran actors Dick Miller (as their gruff boss Burt), Arte Johnson (as Mr. Hinchlow, a pervy neighbor), and David Carradine (as Gideon Fisk – some sort of mystical guy), can’t save this painfully dumb movie from itself. Just say no. 

Rating: *½. Available on Blu-ray and DVD

 

Short Take: Tears of the Black Tiger

 

(2000) Written and directed by Wisit Sasanatieng; Starring: Chartchai Ngamsan, Stella Malucchi, Supakorn Kitsuwon, Suwinit Panjamawat, Arawat Ruangvuth and Sombat Metanee; Available on DVD

Rating: ****

The following review is part of the Foreign Western Blogathon, hosted by Debbie V. from Moon in Gemini, looking at a traditionally American genre through a different lens.

 

“The movie harks back to traditional knowledge, like old herbs we used to boil and drink, which now come in capsules. Like our film, we mixed it with modern film language for a current audience. If it was just an old movie, nobody would be interested. We just borrowed its form, techniques, and combined it with contemporary film language.” – Wisit Sasanatieng 

Over the years, many talented foreign filmmakers have tinkered with a genre that was once regarded as the exclusive domain of Hollywood, to create something simultaneously familiar and completely new. A successful reinterpretation of the Western requires more than simply changing the location or shuffling the actors, but changing the cultural perspective, by utilizing familiar conventions as a launching point rather than a destination. One such example is the Thai Western mash-up, Tears of the Black Tiger, a melodrama about star-crossed lovers that infuses the familiar tropes of American Westerns with Thai sensibilities. Setting his film in post-WW II Thailand, writer/director Wisit Sasanatieng blends old-fashioned and contemporary elements, resulting in something uniquely classic and post-modern.

Dum, aka “Black Tiger” (Chartchai Ngamsan), the film’s antihero protagonist, lives outside the law yet adheres to a strict internal moral code. He works as an enforcer for the ruthless crime boss, Fai (Sombat Metanee), becoming his right-hand man (much to the irritation of fellow outlaw Mahesuan, played by Supakorn Kitsuwon, who formerly occupied that vaunted position). In a flashback, we witness how he meets the love of his life, Rumpoey, the high-born daughter of a local governor. The young girl goads peasant boy Dum into taking her out on a boat, where they discover a sala (a sort of Thai gazebo) floating amidst the lily pads. At that moment, they vow to make this their meeting place. Events take a near-tragic turn when they encounter a trio of bullies, and she nearly drowns in the ensuing scuffle. When he eventually returns home with her near-lifeless body, he’s severely punished by his father (who works for her father). Flash forward 10 years, and the adult Rumpoey (played by Italian-Colombian actress Stella Malucchi) is betrothed to Police Captain Kumjorn (Arawat Ruangvuth). Instead of sharing his joy, she only feels empty, as her heart belongs to Dum.

Contrasting the rather conventional story of lovers separated by rigid class roles, is a delightfully unconventional pastiche of styles. Sasanatieng draws as much upon glossy Technicolor Hollywood cowboy dramas as gritty “spaghetti” Westerns to play in his cinematic sandbox. One scene illustrates via instant replay how Dum is the quickest gun in Thailand. He’s so skillful that he intentionally aims his pistol, so the bullet ricochets off the interior of a cabin to hit his mark. In another scene, he squares off against a rival gunfighter, accompanied by a surreal painted background.  

Tears of the Black Tiger owes much of its distinctive look to post-production visual trickery. The footage was initially shot on 35 mm black-and-white film, transferred to tape for digital editing (including the addition of color), and finally transferred back to film. Many of the colorful scenes feature vivid pinks, reds and greens, while in one sequence, set at a train station, the hues are purposely muted, with digital scratches applied to mimic archival footage. In another scene, when Rumpoey and Dum are seated in the back seat of her chauffeur-driven car, the foreground remains in color, while the projected background through the car windows is in black and white.

Sasanatieng frequently plays with the artifice of motion pictures, favoring striking visual compositions and willfully anachronistic depictions over any pretense of realism. While the bandits ride horses and dress in traditional (albeit stylized) cowboy garb, the film remains firmly rooted in the mid-20^th century, as they fight the police with machine guns, bazookas and hand grenades. The soundtrack is also a mix of old and new, filled with musical interludes (consisting of vintage Thai pop songs alongside new interpretations by contemporary artists). Tears of the Black Tiger at once celebrates the joy of filmmaking while a streak of a melancholic fatalism runs throughout. According to Sasanatieng, “Thais believe that destiny leads us down the right path,” which ultimately informs the inevitable path the plot must follow. It’s a self-aware exercise in style steeped in Eastern and Western tradition, making this an unforgettable experience. 

 

Space Month II Quick Picks and Pans

Journey to the Far Side of the Sun (1969) In this intriguing live-action venture from Gerry and Sylvia Anderson (of Supermarionation fame), scientists discover another planet on the opposite side of the sun, which has remained undetected until now. The U.S. and Europe launch an arduous joint mission, only to discover a duplicate Earth (with everything reversed). The movie has a funky ‘60s future aesthetic, and features some excellent miniature model/effects work by longtime Anderson-collaborator Derek Meddings. It has a solid cast, but it’s hampered by an unsympathetic lead (played by Roy Thinnes). Also, not exploiting the possibilities of a second Earth seems like a missed opportunity (Even if it was populated by duplicate people, why wouldn’t the events unfold in a divergent manner?). It’s still a fascinating concept, though, well worth a look.

Rating: ***½. Available on Blu-ray and DVD

Solaris (2002) Writer/director Steven Soderbergh’s remake of Andrei Tarkovsky’s 1972 film (adapted from Stanislaw Lem’s novel) is a brooding drama, short on spectacle but long on introspection. Chris Kelvin (George Clooney) is a psychologist, sent to a deep space station orbiting a planet with unusual properties. He soon discovers how unusual Solaris is, when his dead wife suddenly returns. But is it really her, or only a simulacrum, based on his skewed memories? It’s a slow-moving, somber experience that could have benefited from some humor, as well as science fiction elements that were more than window dressing. Soderbergh does a respectable job with the material, but the overall effort seems restrained to the point where it doesn’t embrace the genre as much as tolerate it.

Rating: ***. Available on Blu-ray (Region B) and DVD

Life (2017) A soil sample containing a living organism from Mars is brought on board the International Space Station, with predictable results. The crew members (supposedly the best and the brightest) make stupid mistakes, as they’re picked off one by one. If you can get past the less than original premise, it’s entertaining enough, and the alien creature is pretty cool – just don’t think about it too much. If nothing else, I have to give the filmmakers credit for the gutsy ending. 

Rating: ***. Available on Blu-ray and DVD

Meteor (1979) America and the Soviet Union reluctantly combine forces to stave off certain destruction from a five-mile-wide chunk of rock, hurtling towards the Earth. Sean Connery and Natalie Wood lead an all-star cast of actors who are more talented than this by-the-numbers effort deserves. Released at the tail-end of a glut of ‘70s disaster movies, Meteor was a notorious flop for Samuel Z. Arkoff and American International Pictures.* The $16 million investment was the most expensive production to date for the low-budget film company, but it’s hard to see where the money went. Compared to the high standards set by its contemporaries (Alien, Star Trek: The Motion Picture), the special effects aren’t very special. Yawn.

* Fun Fact: The filmmakers used an avalanche sequence (borrowed from the eponymous 1978 film), which was produced by rival (and former business partner) Roger Corman’s New World Pictures. According to Corman, one review that criticized the overall quality of the effects, lauded the avalanche as the one high point. 

Rating: **½. Available on Blu-ray and DVD

The Ice Pirates (1985) Robert Urich stars as Jason, the leader of a ragtag bunch of space pirates who plunder freighters for their payload of water – which has become a precious commodity in the galaxy. Things get complicated when Jason falls for a beautiful princess (Mary Crosby), while his crew try to stay one step ahead of an evil empire. It’s not a bad premise, but the execution is clumsy, and the jokes never rise above sophomoric levels (“Space herpes,” anyone?). It’s notable for the supporting cast, including Angelica Huston and Ron Perlman, who went on to bigger and better things. 

Rating: **½. Available on Blu-ray and DVD

The Creature Wasn’t Nice (aka: Spaceship; aka: Naked Space) (1981) Writer/director/star Bruce Kimmel probably shouldn’t have juggled so many roles for this unfunny Alien-influenced spoof. The bored crew of a deep-space mission, led by Captain Jamieson (Leslie Nielsen), pick up some goop on an alien planet, which turns into a voracious monster. Despite a talented cast (featuring Cindy Williams as the ship’s morale officer, Patrick Macnee as a scientist with divided loyalties, and Gerrit Graham as an oversexed crewmember) Kimmel can’t save his film from itself, with limp gags and bad songs galore. It’s not the easiest movie to find, which is probably a good thing.

Rating: **. Available on DVD

Creature (1985) In space, no one can hear you sigh. American and German teams race to an alien planet to plunder untold riches at an ancient archeological site. Unfortunately for them, a nasty extraterrestrial has other ideas. The only saving grace is the presence of Klaus Kinski (for maybe five minutes of screen time), to liven things up a bit in this otherwise pedestrian Alien rip-off.  

Rating: **. Available on Blu-ray, DVD and Tubi

Mars Needs Women (1968) Tommy Kirk plays Dop, the leader of a Martian expedition to bring back five young women to help repopulate the species. How hard could it possibly be to fulfill their mission? Apparently, it’s a Herculean task for the inept extraterrestrials, who wander about aimlessly, stumbling around a strip club, ogling a flight attendant, and bumbling into a hotel. Yvonne Craig (who apparently had nothing better to do at this point in her career) stars as a biologist, and unfathomably falls in love with Dop. The “Martians” walk around in wetsuits, and carry a speargun for a weapon (I’m guessing writer/director/producer Larry Buchanan had some old scuba gear lying around). The goofy premise should have been played for laughs. Instead, it’s all deadpan, which only makes the proceedings more unbearable. 

Rating: *½. Available on DVD and Amazon Prime