Once again Amazon confuses "bestseller" with "most downloaded"

Over at Jacket Copy we learn that the top 10 Kindle downloads are free. And, look, as someone who regularly creates free content (that is read by people who regularly create free content) I'm not saying there's anything wrong with offering an e-book for free. I think it can be a savvy publicity tool, and a nice boost for your numbers (clearly). But I will say that these are not bestsellers because they're not being sold.

So, yes, these are the top 10 Kindle downloads. But they are not the top 10 sellers. As the Jacket Copy post says, other titles by the same authors that are being sold (as opposed to being given away) are ranked in the mid-thousands, which really makes you question how good a sense you can get of what people like and what people take because it's free.

I vote we actually make a distinction between "most sold" and "most downloaded." Because most people I know stream movies they would never pay for, use Pandora to listen to music they would never buy, and, oh, use the Kindle to download books they would never purchase.

Get sucked into a book

For reals!

No one buys book apps, we are all screwed

In a majestically depressing graph, which you can check out here, we find that, while book related apps account for 18% of the apps in the iPhone app store, they only account for 3% of downloads. And, as we learned from the whole "Kindle bestsellers" thing, downloads do not mean purchases.

The caveats here are, of course, 1) that these stats were mostly collected prior to the launch of the iPad and thus Apple's bookstore, 2) that the Amazon app is a single app that you can use to download many books, and 3) these stats are crowdsourced, not official from Apple, so the potential for discrepancies are huge.

That said, I think the only right thing to do is panic about the demise of the industry. Woe to all of us, the book is dead.

Librarians won't tell you what to do...

They'll just send you really passive-aggressive notices.

Amazing. Click click, sirs.

The right way to write: The rules

The Guardian ran different authors' rules here and here--Anne Enright has the ever amazing "Try to be accurate about stuff" and "The first 12 years are the worst."

Book Bench shakes this down into the essential truths: you have to make your own rules. And remember: if you don't write it down, it never happened.

If monks can rap, so can I

My name is Laura and I'm here to say, rapping monks are a-okay. Kansho Tagai, a.k.a. Mr. Happiness, is a rapping Japanese Buddhist monk.

Next up for this guy is tap dancing while chanting, and potentially the samba. This just goes to show you that working in an office is either looking terrible or really good in comparison. I choose the latter, because my last dance recital ended with a five year old Ombreviations arguing on stage with a friend about steps while everyone else danced their way offstage. These scars run deep, my friends.

Texas prisons ban books, people are up in arms

Titles by Joyce Carol Oates, Annie Proulx, Alice Walker, John Updike, Pablo Neruda, Pat Conroy, Hunter S. Thompson, James Patterson, Carl Hiaasen, John Grisham, Sapphire, Jenna Bush, and Jon Stewart have all been banned by the Texas Department of Criminal Justice. And some people are mad.

Inmates who don't read, for example, have a harder time finding jobs, said Marc Levin, a criminal justice analyst for the Texas Public Policy Foundation.

"Literacy, or lack of it, is one of the biggest problems we have with respect to re-entry," Levin said. "Inmates who want to read should have that opportunity."

Guys. I'm sorry. There are 89,795 titles on the approved list. Maybe my heart doesn't bleed enough here, but if you're in prison, you give up certain rights. Like your freedom, but also your right to read whatever the eff you want.

A DIY book tour article I actually didn't hate

Don't underestimate how ready I was to hate this article about a DIY book tour, reader types. First, it's in the New York Times, which almost only publishes smarmy New York "trends" and "lifestyles," like vegetarians who have beef with vegans, or Hasids and hipster who learn to live together. Second, it's about publishers trying to push their corporate agendas and someone standing up and saying, "No, I will do something indie and twee instead." Third, this is about something indie and twee.

So hats off to you, Stephen Elliot, for writing an essay on this topic for this paper and actually endearing yourself. The tour worked thusly:

Before my book came out, I had set up a lending library allowing anyone to receive a free review copy on the condition they forward it within a week to the next reader, at their own expense....I asked if people wanted to hold an event in their homes. They had to promise 20 attendees. I would sleep on their couch. My publisher would pay for some of the airfare, and I would fund the rest by selling the books myself.

He talks about the successes and failures of this method, and, while it sounds kind of exhausting, it's at least interesting. And works in sex workers, which always brightens up my reading experience.

Navigating narrators

I don't know how many of you are audiobook fans (am I alone? I hope not), but I belong to that camp--there's something about being able to listen to someone tell you a story that is completely different from reading a physical book. If you're new to the a-book camp, you might want to check this list of awesome narrators for delicious books. My personal favorites off this list include:

Not Scary Enough: Joe Mantegna reads Steven King’s Thinner
OK, Too Scary: Willem Dafoe reads Steven King’s The Langoliers

Ah, Willem Dafoe, you scare the crap out of me. Especially as a lady.

J.K. Rowling saves economy, world

The Economist contends that J.K. Rowling has done more for the economy than just about, well, anyone. And, if you think about it, she wrote seven bestsellers, which became (slash will become) eight blockbuster films, and inspired a freaking theme park. Says producer David Heyman, "When we stop filming next May, at least 800 people will be looking for work."

I think we should all take a page from Ms. Rowling's book, and aspire to create jobs by selling a bajillion copies of a series.

Not kidding about kidneys

Reader-types, it is now time to listen to me push politics. Be forewarned! (Or just skip this one if you are politics averse.)

I saw this post at Alicia's blog, and wanted to add: perhaps you too should consider checking the little "please give my organs to other people once I am no longer using them" box on your license. And if you're feeling especially giving, you can give a some while alive (one kidney and a big chunk of your liver, and I think that's it).

Yes, it's a fraught subject (especially if it's a kidney), and clearly it is understandable if you have thought about it and don't want to donate, but the huge jump between the number of people who donate in countries with an opt-in system (like the US of A) and those with an opt-out (like Amsterdam or Spain) speaks to a general disinclination to check boxes, not to give organs.

Lost is coming back, thank you America

Lost is coming back in less than a month, and I think we should all appreciate it by watching everything you need to know about Lost.

Oh. Em. Gee. See you tomorrow, lady and gentle-types--Lost is just too exciting to write another post.

Grammar lovers beware: People realize language evolves

Stop the presses: some grammar rules do not predate the English language. Once a year somebody pops up and tries to say that grammar rules shouldn't apply because they were different in Shakespeare's day. Apparently, "the grammatical doomsayers had better find themselves some chill pills fast, because the crimes-against-the-language rate is going to skyrocket here in the electronic age."

As a grammatical doomsayer, I say boo, grammar whiners--just because you plan on breaking the rules more often doesn't mean I have to chill out. There are certain standards the English speaking world ascribes to, and to pretend like they're not important because they are somewhat arbitrary is ridiculous. Saying Lord Byron spelled and punctuated differently doesn't change the fact that modern standards do not include replacing c's with k's (even for krazy kars!) or pluralizing with z's. Grammar is for klarity, reader types, and is also just a klassy way to be.

Delaying e-books for fun and profit

GalleyCat has put together a great round-up of thoughts on the delay of e-book releases.

I have to admit that I don't actually have much of an opinion on the delay of the e-book just yet. I don't like being denied immediate access to an e-version of a book, but I also don't like being denied immediate access to a paperback of a book, and most people deal with that pretty well.

So: is this publisher pigheadedness? Is this a fight against Amazon price fixing? Are there other viable ways to handle this? I have no idea. But the GalleyCat group seems pretty well versed, so click click and read away.

Twilight is probably bad for the ladies

I know we all like to hate on Twilight. ...And here's some more of that. But in a serious vein!

A LiveJournal user posted about how Edward from Twilight shows sign of being stalkery and abusive (something I've mentioned previously, and that Jezebel discusses. Please marry me, Jezebel). And, in this article discussing racism in the series, Jacob shows similar signs.

People. Please. Respect the ladies. Or you will also be invited to Slap Town USA (oh yea, I will abusive you right back).

Honesty is the best policy

In today's vein of depressing things about the world, there's a lot of worrying and complaining (kvetching, if you will) around the publishing blogosphere about trying to get an agent, trying to get published, and the mountain of rejections that comes with all of that. But what happens once you're published? More of the same, it seems.

An anonymous mid-list writer with four books under her belt writes about the insecurities and difficulties of a writing life, even after being published. After getting national media attention, a first advance of $150,000, and winning several awards she still can't make the writing life work financially. Proving, yet again, that anyone who wants to write for money better do it for love. Love the craft, people. Love the craft.

Tolerance is a skill we should cultivate

Hello, fellow pessimists. I read a lot of the interwebs this weekend, and saw the huge number of comments attached to Nathan Bransford's post about how much publishing houses make off a book relative to the author. And, after reading 200 plus comments, I can safely say (not to any of my readers, because you are all perfect, but to the larger world):

Author folk: you need to chill out.

First, the conspiracy theories have to go. Publishers are not trying to lose money (even when it appears otherwise). And although some of you might be able to do a good job "saving the industry," you are not working in publishing, doing that good job.

Second, while writers make very little money, people in publishing also make very little money. I know people who have worked for travel stipends and for no benefits (those ones are me). I know people who have been working in publishing for years and are technically interns, making an hourly wage (or working for friggin free, people. For free).

The moral here is that yea, mid-list writers make almost no money. But most people who work in publishing make almost nothing. Ten years of publishing experience pays slightly less than a 21 year old college graduate working in finance (did your stomach just curdle? Mine did). And almost everyone in publishing has to stretch that salary in New York City, the most expensive city in the country.

So chill out, drop the conspiracy theories, and don't take it out on the people trying to make a living in publishing. No one goes into book publishing for profit. They do it for free books and the chance to read for work.

Friday is for naps

I was going to write posts for today but, it turns out, I have a lot of leftovers to eat. So nothing from me here, nothing from me at Pimp My Novel, lots of me at the fridge.

See you Monday!

Fighting Christmas creep

Bless you, Nordstrom, for this.

You know what? Maybe go crazy and hold off on Christmas decorations until December.

I have heard the word of the Lord

And it is spoken by Richard Dreyfuss. A new audiobook of the Bible is coming out with an all-star cast. For $125 you can hear Luke "Judas" Perry betray James "Jesus" Caviezel.

Question: would you follow Richard Dreyfuss into the desert? And would you rather listen to stars preach, read the Bible on your Xbox, or see how other people recopy the Word?