The Golden Years My Ass

Our Yearly Dementia Test-- only 4 questions

Our Yearly Dementia Test

It's that time of year for us to take our annual senior citizen test.
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it!
Below is a very private way to gauge how your memory compares to the last test. Some may think it is too easy but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty.
Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not.
The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.
OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.


1. What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast' give up now and do something else … Try not to hurt yourself.
If you said, bread, go to Question 2.




2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading more appropriate literature such as Auto World.
However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3.






3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks,' why are you still reading these??? If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4.







4. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales . In London , 17 people get on the bus. In Reading , 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on. In Swindon , 2 people get off and 4 get on. In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea , 3 people get off and 5people get on. In Carmathen, 6 people get off and 3 get on.
You then arrive at Milford Haven ..

Without scrolling back to review, how old is the bus driver?













Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don't you remember your own age?
It was YOU driving the bus!!

If you pass this along to your friends, pray they do better than you.

PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!! I failed them all and I'm proud of it!

Not Quartzsite Again!

Well, here I am again…stuck in the middle of “old folks” village, Quartzsite, Arizona. A few years ago I couldn’t even spell senior and now I are one. To make things worse, my free Internet here has disappeared, and that means I have to go down to the Senior Citizens’ Center for an Internet connection. Please tell me it isn’t so; it’s like looking into a mirror of truth when I go there and I can’t get used to the image I see. I better get used to it – May 13 is my 50th high school reunion and that mirror isn’t going to lie either! I’m not complaining about my place in life. In fact, I wouldn’t go back one second. Besides, even If I could, you can bet I would just screw up at a different level.

I remember when my mom was 68 and she complained that her body was falling apart at the seams while still housing a brilliant mind. I don’t know if my mind is brilliant, but you can bet it can still write a mean murder mystery – although I can’t find my truck keys half the time. My wife complains that men don’t age like women; she maintains that if men had babies, they too would look much older. That may be true, but I will not go to my grave with a pristine, unused body, and that is as it should be.

I find myself looking forward to conversations with my peers. Perhaps that is a sign that I am finally becoming comfortable with my age. I remember not too long ago when I didn’t like talking to people my own age because I didn’t want to admit that I was a senior. Besides, what could they tell me I didn’t already know? How silly is that, you are what you are. My peers also have a huge storehouse of knowledge that should be shared before they leave the planet. Holy crap, it really isn’t all about me, is it – when I learned that, I was able to release many things that made me anti-social.

This time of the year is a great time to be in Quartzsite. The traffic is much less congested because most of the vendors have packed up their tents and left along with all the motor home dealers. There are a few tents left, but even they will be getting out of Dodge before the desert heats up like a cheap frying pan. It won’t be long and this place will be a ghost town with only the hardiest souls staying to brave the 118 degree plus temperatures. It’s surprising how many seniors live here permanently now. You can bet they don’t go outside often and when they do, it’s only for a short while to stock up on grub and drink.

I will be coming back once a month throughout the summer to water trees and check on our small homestead. Personally, I love the heat and enjoy sitting in the afternoon shade sipping a cold soda while sweating like a stuffed pig in a sauna. Once a desert rat, always a desert rat; you can take the man out of the desert, but you can’t take the desert out of the man. I was watching Laurence of Arabia last night and I can understand why he (Laurence) loved the Arabian Desert so much. The Sonora Desert affects me much the same way, and it also explains why the back of my neck resembles old shoe leather….

Well, I’m off to the “old folks’ hangout” to get this blog posted and shoot the bull with the regulars. I may even learn something new today, which is usually the case.

Write on,

Mittster