Showing posts with label criterion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label criterion. Show all posts

Monday, February 10, 2025

It Don't Mean a Thing If It Ain't Got That Sting


Two movies into February's Attack of the Vertically Challenged and we've got an interesting development: our short villains are creations of far taller beings. It's not the little children or wasps that are evil: it's the people directing them.

Quick Plot: Welcome to the Anan Archipelago, a region sparsely populated with humans but loaded with unusual insects. Local Joji collects some to sell to some scientists (while also having beach sex with his white mistress Annabelle as his new wife Yukari defends him to her handsy boss). Above them, an American aircraft spins out of control as four parachutes descend. 


That's only the start of their problems. Charly, an American bomber pilot, had a bug-induced panic attack onboard and is the cause of the crash. Once on firm ground, Charley becomes even more manic as he spots more swarms and his two compatriots hide out in a cave. The pair is found dead the next morning, while Charly is unconscious and in bad shape. 


As American military authorities come to investigate, Joji finds himself under suspicion. His biologist pal Dr. Nagumo shows up to help, bringing terrifying news of just how deadly the insects of Anan truly are. These aren't your annoying picnic mosquitoes but harbingers of the end of the world. They can lay eggs in humans to turn them mad. It's a bad way to go, and exactly why Annabelle, a survivor of a concentration camp who witnessed humanity at its worst, wants to unleash them.


I sadly don't have enough experiece with Japanese genre cinema of the 1960s to really know how Genocide fits in there. Directed by Kazui Nihonmatsu, the film plays rather shockingly bleak to a 2025 viewer, which is perfectly understandable. The scars of Hiroshima were just over 20 years old and far from healing. 

Nihonmatsu, working with a script by Susumu Takaku, isn't afraid to present a flawed set of characters to bring about a possible apocalypse. Joji makes a lot of mistakes before he truly understands what he's put at risk, while Annabelle's fury is horrific but also kind of justified. There's something modern and smart about how the characters of Genocide are living in a hell that they and their kind have built.



High Points
That is one appropriately big and dark (or maybe hopeful?) ending

Low Points
It's not that the insect world is working off a rulebook, but it does feel a bit silly for swarms to only attack a character (and leave another bite-free) when the script seems to need them to

Lessons Learned
Insects never lie


The best way to jog a psychotic patient's memory is to expose him to closeups of the thing he fears most

Tattoos only appear in the moonlight, and never on a sunny afternoon when you're wearing a bikini on the beach


Rent/Bury/Buy
Despite what you might guess from its cheery title, Genocide is far from a fun watch. There's a deep weight to this killer wasp movie. If you're up for it, find it on the Criterion Channel. 

Monday, March 18, 2024

And Then There Were Eleven

 


I'm the kind of easy mark when it comes to sales. Yellow sticker screaming price reduction that's still higher than the product to the left of it? SOLD. Similarly, when I get a free trial on ANYTHING, you can bet all my complimentary credits that I'll milk it for every last drop.

In case you were wondering, that's why yet again, we're here at the Criterion Channel as my 3-month membership ticks away. Zip up your parka and let's go! 

Quick Plot: A group of 11 teenagers are invited to a mysterious ski trip in the wintery mountains. With the exception of one pair of twins, none of the kids know one another, nor do they have any idea why they were selected or what EXACTLY they were selected for. The few parents we see are happy to dump their load off, even if the three instructors seem to be a little...off.


There's Gita, the long-haired sole female unwilling to take any sass from the teenage boy contingent. Wild-eyed Dingo seems like the kind of guy who fails senior year eight times to maximize his time bullying nerds. And of course, "Daddy." 


Up the kids trek into an isolated cabin surrounded by nothing but snow. Food--well, the good food--runs out quickly, putting everyone on edge. Then there's Daddy's sudden declaration that while there are 11 teenagers in the cabin, his list only accounts for 10. One doesn't belong, and Daddy insists it's the kids' job to identify the interloper. 


I don't know nearly enough about the political and cultural climate of 1987's Czechoslovakia to fully understand what writer/director Věra Chytilová is exploring with Wolf's Hole, but that doesn't mean I didn't find it fascinating. I went into this based on the Criterion Channel's description that implied it to be a satire of American slashers. Those elements are there, though there's clearly a lot more at play. 

The only real problem with Wolf's Hole is that it's an impossible movie to describe in a way to set any audience (particularly a genre one)'s expectations. Contrary to the marketing, this isn't really a horror film...but it's also not, well, any particular category. There's certainly satire and humor, maybe a little science fiction, and the bones of horror to put the audience in a very particular brain space. Don't go in expecting to be scared, but do expect entertainment...in a very odd way. 




High Points
I won't spoil it, but Wolf's Hole has one of my favorite endings to a movie in recent memory. I was NOT expecting to walk away from this feeling the way I did

Low Points
It was probably impossible to do with a group of 11 and such a brisk runtime, but it would have helped to have a little more differentiation between the kids (both physically and in terms of personality). I don't mind them all being kind of terrible, but I guess I would have preferred terrible in different ways



Lessons Learned
The weakest link is always left out

Put enough teenagers together and you're bound to have a food fight



SPOILER ALERT LESSON: the real trick to surviving a mysterious sure-to-kill-you trip? Never, and I mean NEVER, take that optimistic group photo before setting off. Our teens don't do it here and they're all better off for it

Rent/Bury/Buy
It's hard to say too much about Wolf's Hole without giving away some of its surprises. It's probably important to go in knowing you're not getting an '80s slasher or typical dead teenager movie, but at the same time, having those concepts in mind help enrich Wolf's Hole. It's not quite like anything else I've seen, which is always exciting. 

Monday, February 12, 2024

Not All Heroes Wear Collars

Welcome to the Annual February Shortening! In honor of the shortest month on a blog written by a short woman, all posts are devoted to stories about vertically challenged villains. If you, reader of any height, have your own mini-horror to share, do so in the comments and I'll include you in a final post roundup as the calendar changes!


and for the English speakers:


Quick Plot: Li Tung is growing annoyed by his upstairs neighbors and their late night floor banging (noise-making, not the sexy kind). He knocks on their door to discover an old apologetic man, his attractive daughter, and an even more attractive black cat. The next day, the household has moved, but Li Tung can't quite shake the feeling that something was off. He sneaks into their empty apartment to discover a horrifying bloodstain.



The cops aren't thrilled to waste their morning on what turns out to be cat remains. Li Tung joins police inspector Wang at the modern mansion of suave novelist friend Wisely' to discuss the case further as the city experiences its own unusual crime: the mysterious museum theft of an artifact called "the octagon". 

By a cat.


And mushroom blob monster.


No, they're not working together. See, the cat is actually an alien general in the body a kickass cat, and the mushroom blob monster is its sworn enemy with the power to possess the puny human bodies it touches.The adventurous Wisely is now fully entrenched in helping to save the world, though he, like so many mere mortals, initially suspects the cat of villainy. 

Yes, I know: The Shortening is a month of vertically challenged villains, but The General is actually quite heroic. I THINK he saves the world? But it takes a LITTLE time to make that clear, and when we see him pitted against a lovable mastiff in an all-out brawl, we're not necessarily rooting for him. 


Until, of course, we see his incredible battle skills.


Cinema is filled with memorable fight scenes. Rocky vs. Apollo Creed, Luke vs. Vader, The Bride vs. Vernita Green, Nada vs. Frank. I'm sure there are plenty of listicles with scientific rankings, but I tell you now, dear reader, that if said ranking does not include The General vs. Lau Pu, aka Alien Cat v. Good Dog In Junkyard, then said list should only be used as litter. It means NOTHING.


The Cat was made by Lam Ngai Kai, an extraterrestrial in the form of human director best known for the magnificently zany Riki-Oh: The Story of Riki. The Cat is on par. There are just as many explosions and bug-eyed dummies, plus the added thrills of an electrifying mushroom blob monster and, you know, THE CAT. 


They don't make 'em like this anymore.

Most never make this ANYWHERE.

High Points
I can't possibly oversell the puppet cat vs. paper mache dog junkyard battle because it is EPIC and so much more than you can possibly imagine, so much more than you can ever deserve

Low Points
Until someone promises me that no animals were harmed in the making of The Cat, I'll withhold SOME of my intense enthusiasm 

Lessons Learned
Vodka is the strongest wine in the world

Always stock your home bar with top shelf alcohol, both for optimum cocktail service and most effective molotov cocktail service


Cats are the social equivalent of blacksmiths


Rent/Bury/Buy
The Cat is streaming on the Criterion Channel. Your life will be better after you experience it.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

June Is Busting Out All Over Your Ovaries (but not quite that--well, um...)

New stuff!


1. A new month means a new issue of Rogue Cinema, so hop on your hoverboard and skate over here for, among other things, my review of the romantic drama Lovers In a Dangerous Time and an interview with Skew director Seve Schelenz. Stick around for tons of more content, with reviews of new indie releases and discussions with more film folks, including Hobo With a Shotgun director Jason Eisner.




B. Skip that venti frappaccino today and give your $7 to a far more noble cause: Paracinema! Yes, this is an ACTUAL PRINT MAGAZINE filled with original content on all the films you love or love but don't know about yet. Issue #12 features some typically great stuff, including an article on Kiyoshi Kurosawa bu VCinema's Josh Samford, some nostalgia on Explorers from Baby Eater Matt House, an interview with genre luminary (and Leprechaun 3 director!) Brian Trenchard-Smith, and original artwork you won't want to dog-ear. Go GIT it!



III. Need some sweet lady voices in your life? Prefer to hear those sirens ramble on about paint huffing, incest, and unusual genital designs? Then head to iTunes or podomatic for the newest episode of Girls On Film Radio. Myself and a few lovelier ladies tackle Alexander Payne's first film, Citizen Ruth (drink every time we say 'abortion'!) and a Japanese Criterion classic from 1963 called The Insect Woman. Shockingly enough, we somehow avoided bra talk this week, although I like to think that's made up for with adorable dog snoring.




Four. Those of you with a weakness for showtunes, pop music, or sweater vests probably already listen to GleeKast, the podcast myself and knitting pro extraordinaire Erica host on everybody's favorite/most hated Fox musical. Even so, allow me to remind you that our last 'official' episode is now available for download. We're taking a mini-hiatus to breathe and dedazzle, but we'll be back this summer with more bonus content on all things ridiculousness. 


Bonus points if you catch/agree with my Troll reference.

Monday, January 3, 2011

A Tale of Two Vanishings

Like many a film lover, I’ve grown weary of lazy remakes. But you know what makes me even more grumpy and tired? People complaining about remakes.
They exist. They have since the dawning of film. Sometimes they make me want to slaughter mutant newborn babies and Bijou Philips. Other times they make me happier than a blob eating a phonebooth. It’s a topic my blogging pal T.L.Bugg covered all through October (I even stopped by with a top 13 list) and one that doesn’t deserve generalizations.
Which brings us to today’s double feature:
1988’s Dutch-French mashup Spoorloos

and 1993’s The Vanishing

Director George Sluizer filmed two versions of Tim Krabbe’s novel, The Golden Egg, presumably for two different types of audiences. His first foray is a quiet, suspenseful tale of obsession dripping with tragic nihilism. Five years later, Luizer reattacked the material, setting it in the US and tossing in an action movie in the film’s final act.
Plain and simple, I preferred Sluizer’s original. It’s more haunting, less conventional, and overall, a far more frustratingly rewarding trip into evil. That being said, his 1993 second try is interesting in its own right and today, I’d like to discuss both in SPOILERIFIC detail.

You’ve been warned.
Quick Plot: A happy yet imperfect couple is enjoying a mini-vacation when their car runs out of gas. Movie 1’s Saskia freaks out when boyfriend Rex brashly leaves her to fill up, an insensitive action after she told him about her terrifying, nightmare wherein she was abandoned. Though Rex returns, Luizer establishes a subtle theme of her fears, something that (in hindsight) makes the whole of Spoorloos truly sad.

Sluizer drops the golden egg dream in his American adaptation, a choice that speeds up the action while denying us enough connection to Diane (played with, I’ll concede, likable charm by a young pre-Blind Side Sandra Bullock). Part of this probably stems from the opening switch. Where the Dutch Vanishing starts with Rex and Saskia, the American one frames the tale with the villain, played with a bizarre posh Minnesotean accent by Jeff Bridges.

In both versions, we watch Raymond/Barney practicing his abduction, timing the effects of chloroform and getting comfortable with the challenge of the muffle. In his second film, Sluizer makes Bridges a constant lurking figure, setting the tone from the very first scene. In that sense, it’s a far more conventional thriller with an immediate villain. Bridges is undeniably a great actor, but it’s hard to uncrack his Barney. Like the Dutch version, we get his anecdote about discovering his sociopathy, but there’s something more unnatural here. The French Raymond comes off as a regular schoolteacher and family man successfully hiding his inner evil, a sort of not-as-good-looking Dexter Morgan dipping his toes into something he’ll never regret. Bridges never quite sells his everyman-ness. If you had a conversation with him--and that weird voice--at a rest stop, you’d be more likely to throw to feign deafness to avoid any connection.


Though both villains are fathers, Luizer does make a few changes in their respective relationships to their teenage daughters (or daughter, in Bridges’ case). We’re never quite sure how Raymond feels about the women in his life. Though he comes off like a good parent, we simply don’t get enough interaction to know if he harbors blankness or like our old sociopathic pal Mr. Morgan, a gradual appreciation for the hole they fill in his otherwise empty life.
In Bridges case, things are different. He’s a cold husband but a loving dad (even if you uses his daughter in a screaming spider test), a point that comes in handy for the final act. On Sluizer’s part, was this a choice for character or plot? There’s untapped potential in the daughter, who may, one could almost hope, prove to have her own hidden evil. But using her presence as a mere plot convenience that buys Nancy Travis (we’ll get there) time and survival opportunity ultimately feels more like a final act storyline bowtie than psychological trait.

And what of Rex/Jeff, arguably the protagonist of both films? Gene Bervoet’s (Dutch Rex)’s performance is as interesting as it is frustrating. He’s something of a jerk, a questionable boyfriend who later proves more obsessed than ever in love. Kiefer Sutherland, in contrast, takes on the role with a strong balance of vulnerability and boneheadedness. What starts as fear and inadequacy about losing Diane turns--perhaps more believably--into resignation. Yet even though he knows deep down Diane is dead, his fatal flaw grows: he simply needs the truth.
Enter the biggest plot difference in the films in the form of a new girlfriend, a brief stopping point in the Dutch version but a major plot point of Nancy ‘90s Travis in the second. The first film uses her economically to demonstrate the extent of Rex’s obsession (and also, jerkiness). Travis’s Rita, however, becomes the key factor in the remake’s ending.


What to make of that coda. Sluizer’s first film is memorable among other things for its nihilistic conclusion, with Rex finally learning Saskia’s fate inside a coffin. It’s a brave and terrifying way to end a film.
Well, Kiefer (it's easiest to think of him by that name) wakes up in a compromising position but lucky for him, his curly haired sweetheart is sobering up and fast on his trail. Through some Nancy (Travis) Drewing, Rita finds Jeff and Barney and enters into an action packed showdown. Ho. Hum.

I admire Sluizer’s decision to rethink his film for American audiences. The idea of remaking one’s own work seems silly if you’re not doing anything differently, and watching a direct translation would’ve been a waste.
That being said, I join the Dutch Team on this one. Though the American performances (save for Bridges, whose work here I’m still undecided on) are absolutely fine, the overall makeover feels so utterly 1990s thriller. This is one of Travis’ more standout roles (not to be cruel, but I wonder if if there’s a reason she’s always relegated to girlfriend bit parts) but making the film her story missed out on the more complex and fascinating aspects of Kiefer’s conflict. The first film was a study on obsession. This one was ultimately about a cottage set chase sequence.

Lessons Learned
A fight does not equal a thing
Part of the diner waitress uniform involves frizzy hair (makes sense), gigantic earrings (seems inconvenient with frizzy hair), and gum
Because every now and then I forget, allow me to point out a truth we all know: the 1990s were an awful awful time for ladies’ fashion

On the flip side, DMVs were ridiculously friendly and accommodating
Doctors notes for claustrophobia do not get you out of wearing your seatbelt
Rent(x 2)/Bury (moohahaha x2)/ Buy(x2)
Don’t, as I did, watch Spoorloos and follow it up the next day with The Vanishing. You’d think I’d know this by now.
Overall, I recommend both films, with the following rules:
-If you only have the time or energy to see one, go with Spoorloos. It’s more powerful, more thoughtful, and ultimately leaves you far more haunted than about 80% of genre film.

-Want to watch both? Do it. But wait a week or month between viewing. If you don’t already know the original’s ending (you know, even though I already told you about it) then watch the Dutch version first to ensure it packs its intended punch. If you’re a man or woman of no restraint, then it may actually pay to see the more conventional American version first. You can enjoy it for its slickness then go deeper when your appetite is whetted something more complex.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Film Club Monday: Onibaba

As many of you know, I do love a good clubbing.

Oh wait. No I don't.

But a Final Girl Film Clubbing, that's one act of unitarity I'll sign up for!

This month's pick was a film I watched about a year and a half ago, Kaneto Shindo's Onibaba. Sadly I once again slacked off and didn't get a chance to revisit it, but here's my ancient review, born in the early days of this here Doll's House (the one month anniversary, to be exact). Enjoy if you can, but be sure to head over to Stacie Ponder's Final Girl blog spectacular for her, plus many more deliciously millet filled reviews.


One of the things I love about post-apocalyptic fiction is how human beings are so quickly turned into ravenous scavengers. Without the comfort of modern society, the consensus seems to be that our daily lives will consist of finding what’s edible and tearing it apart with our bare hands. Sleep. Hunt. Repeat. Not nearly as much fun as it sounds.

Set in feudal Japan during a chaotic (offscreen) civil war, Onibaba tells the hellish story of two desperate women with fierce survival instincts and incredibly primal appetites. Left alone in the grassy countryside, the only way to eat is to slaughter renegade samurai and trade their military garb for meager rations from the general store (or hut). Life is bare existence, as the pair--an old woman and her dutiful daughter-in-law--toil through the days, shoveling rice into their mouths, sleeping nude amongst the sweltering heat and aggressive drum beats, and filling deep Freudian holes with warrior corpses. The closest they come to joy is the rabid and successful hunt of a meaty puppy.


Enter Hachi, a surviving veteran of sorts (he went AWOL in a war no one seems to be keeping track of by dressing like a priest) who promptly (well, after a free meal) informs his hostesses that the man they share is dead. There’s little time for mourning as Hachi lusts after the widow, the widow coordinates nighttime trysts with Hachi, and the mother plots to keep her only companion. The highlight for most viewers comes in the third act, when a wandering samurai meets the increasingly embittered mother-in-law. Their odd little walkabout is intriguing in itself, but what follows is a wonderfully wicked ending ripped out of a Buddhist morality tale.

Like The Virgin Spring, Onibaba features a medieval setting, internal religious conflict, and a female deeply enslaved to her animal nature. Where Bergman's film explored the weakness of Christianity in the face of primal rage, Shindo Kaneto's story seems less concerned with religious karma and more intent on bringing our basic human needs and desires onto the screen. Our nameless (anti)heroines are the creatures of myth, but one of the brilliant aspects of Onibaba is just how believable their hunger is. With their lives boiled down to survival, what more can they want but a full meal and a gratifying roll in the tall grass?

High Points
A soundtrack filled with frantic drums and the occasional scream is extraordinary in establishing a world without order

Despite the dark nature of Onibaba,  the film also contains some genuinely great humor, particularly from the magnetic Kei Sato as Hachi

Low Points
I won’t go into spoilers, but one of our characters has a more definite conclusion than the others, and it’s so sudden that its significance feels lost

Lessons Learned
Just in case you had any doubts, living with your mother-in-law is not a good idea

Never put something on your face when you don’t know where it’s been




Sex in a bad economy is worth one bag of millet

Rent/Bury/Buy
Any DVD issued by the Criterion Collection is automatically worth the splurge (based both on quality of film and loaded features), and Onibaba is no different. The visual design is both horrifying and haunting, the score is uniquely violent, and the performances create memorable--if not overly likable-- characters that fill their archetypal roles while maintaining genuine charisma. This is a classic that earns its ranking.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Something Is Missing...



The first (of a whopping two) film criticism classes I ever took was a one-day-a-week English elective on French cinema. Though I didn’t quite relish the act of watching 3-hour romantic epics in the comfort of my university’s drab library, I did absorb something of an appreciation for moody Europeans and their innovation behind the camera. 7 years later, it’s somehow more rewarding to discover classic films without the confines of writing mini-essays.
Wait a minute--
Quick Plot: Attractive blue-eyed young ladies are disappearing in 1950s Paris, their bodies later washing up in the Seine sans facial skin. While the police remain woefully ignorant, we meet Professor Genessier, a surgeon on the cutting edge (ba-dom bom bom!) of Face/Off style transplants.
A cold man, Professor Genessier has some personal investment in honing his craft: his once-beautiful daughter Christianne had her face all but torn off in a tragic car accident. While the world--including her fiancee--mourn the faked death of Christianne, her father and his loyal secretary collect young women in attempt after attempt to find and maintain Christianne’s new look.

Filmed in the worldwide censorship-happy ‘50s, Eyes Without a Face is an eerie, disturbing, and ultimately quite sad little tale that is as effective as it is influential. A creepy score sets the mood and documentarian director George Franju plays with his camera to maximize effect. You’ll probably be able to predict the direction of most of the plot, but the story remains engrossing and beautiful and unsettling way.
High Points
The circus-like score is unsettling and neat, but the choice to silence it during the famous transplant scene is even more powerful

The entire physical design of Christianne is quite striking. With her slender frame, oversized sleeves, and blank mask, actress Edith Scob comes off like a porcelain doll sitting atop an Expressionist toy chest

Low Points
Though I was intrigued by the stoic guilt of Professor Genessier and sympathized with Christianne’s plight, the lack of central character (and third act emergence of psuedo-protagonists) keeps the film a tad cold to the viewer
Lessons Learned
Never, under any circumstances, get arrested for petty crime in Paris when a murderer is on the loose hunting young women who fit your exact profile. You never know when you’ll be put into a dangerous, irresponsibly run undercover operation that puts your life in danger
Always note the jewelry style of overly generous strangers

Just because you feed your cruelly caged dogs does not mean they don’t secretly want to eat you
Rent/Bury/Buy
One can easily watch Eyes Without a Face to learn a few early camera tricks and catch some inspiration for Michael Myers’ mask, but this haunting thriller also holds up as an engrossing view. Currently on Netflix’s Instant Watch, it’s a hearty recommendation for both classy cred and good old fashioned entertainment reasons. Watch it for culture and sadness.