A For Effort. Eh For Execution

I've said it time and time again: setting your genre film in the olden days will automatically make it more interesting. Aside from removing the annoyingly obligatory "No service!"shout-out, a pre-automobile driven society gives way to more tension, more limitations, and an environment even less fit to fight supernatural horrors than the one we all know.

In other words, I added the new Bloody Disgusting release Exit Humanity to my queue because it was a Civil War era zombie film. What could go wrong?

Quick Plot: Narrated by an always welcomed Brian Cox, Exit Humanity is assembled from the diary of Edwin Young (a solid Mark Gibson), a battle-scarred soldier who caught a glimpse of the undead while shooting the other side on the mountains of Tennessee. Six years later, he experiences new horrors when he returns from a hunting trip to find his wife and son zombified, as well as a good portion of the nearby community. Edwin embarks upon his own mission to research and exterminate the new population of flesh-eaters, eventually venturing out to spread his son's ashes at a peaceful waterfall that soothed him during the war. 

Along the way, Edwin befriends Isaac, a fellow zombie hunter looking for his sister, who has been kidnapped by a rogue group of Confederates (led by genre stalwart Bill Mosely) using a tired medic (Pontypool's Stephen McHattie) to work on a cure. Edwin, Isaac, and his sister Emma escape to find solace in a local healer's home (played by Dee Wallace, and yes, the genre cred meter just burst).

Let's examine what we have so far:

-A fascinating and underused time period

-A superb cast of proven horror actors

-Zombies

Mixing these ingredients should yield a pretty delicious pie, right? 

Well...

Written and directed by John Geddes, Exit Humanity is an ambitious film, one that clocks in at nearly 110 minutes and feels determined to make you feel each one. With Jeff Graville, Nate Kreiswirth, and Ben Nudds' soaring score and the sometimes pretentious narration, Exit Humanity is certainly aiming for epic status. But unlike something like Stakeland (which FELT big even on a small budget), the elements of this film never quite add up to something as grandiose as it wants to be. Gibson is a strong lead, but too much of the early scenes are devoted to Edwin screaming at God, while later montage-ish sequences that are supposed to show developing relationships never resonate with any true depth. Though we get some strong zombie chases here and there, the undead seem to randomly fade in and out as an actual threat. Part of what makes a historical-set horror film so effective is knowing that antiquated weaponry and technology might not be advanced enough to handle the threat. But in Exit Humanity, rarely do the shuffling hordes of extras even feel that dangerous.

That being said, Exit Humanity has to be admired for some of its more unique touches. Throughout the film, Geddes interjects expressionistic style animation, presumably as drawings from Edwin's journal. The artwork is quite striking, even if its more modern look never quite gels with the 19th century feel of the rest of the film.

Based on its premise and cast, I wanted to like Exit Humanity and by golly, I just, well, kind of didn't. The film looks quite good, with its woodsy setting never tipping its Confederate hat to reveal a low budget. Lots of credit does go to Geddes for taking his time to create something unique to the zombie genre without ever settling for easy gore. Unfortunately, the incredibly labored pacing just never clicked for me. The sentiment was there, but while the landscape and soundtrack worked so hard to establish Edwin's crew's misfortunes, I just never cared enough about them as individuals to stay involved with the molasses moving narrative.

High Points

Dude: it's the 1870s!

Low Points

...a time when movies took themselves far too seriously

Lessons Learned

There ain’t no cure for monstrous behavior

Leather jackets have always been in style, be it 1987 or 1871

As Cold Mountain already taught us, one could not find better healthcare in the 19th century than in the secluded forest cabin of a female hermit

Rent/Bury/Buy

I don't want to discourage anyone from checking out Exit Humanity. I give Geddes a lot of credit for tackling a tired genre with a fresh approach, and between the surprisingly strong production value, reliable cast, interesting artwork, and an extras-loaded DVD, the film offers quite a lot for horror fans with an appreciation for something new. Overall, it didn't quite work for my tastes, but this is a better than average straight-to-DVD horror movie that could certainly please plenty of viewers. I feel bad not being one.

A Horrible Way To Open Your Film Up To Easy Title Jokes

For whatever psychological reason you want to apply, many of us are endlessly fascinated by serial killers. Adam Wingard’s 2011 A Horrible Way To Die is quite aware of that fact, using the concept to explore several themes. None are cute and fuzzy.

Quick Plot: On a windy winter day, a man drives a tied-up woman to a secluded mountain overlook to apologetically strangle her to death.

Puppies!

Sorry, just trying to lighten the mood here…

Next we meet Sarah, a fragile thirtysomething dental hygienist celebrating three months sobriety at an AA meeting. There she meets Kevin, a fellow recovering alcoholic with a compassionate face. The two begin a hesitant relationship as we learn the root of Sarah’s life-changing decision: the opening killer is her ex, currently serving multiple life sentences for a mass killing spree that had rocked the media a few months earlier.

One of the most interesting aspects of A Horrible Way to Die is how it plays with its timeline, calmly moving between Garrick (genre champ A.J. Bowen)’s past killings, his current escape and the carnage it causes, and Sarah’s drunken past through fragile sober present. Much like the brilliant Dream Home, this structure works well in making the film interesting without unnecessarily toying with the narrative. The choice enhances the characters’ actions rather than ever feeling like a gimmick to use an unusual format.

Unfortunately, the filming style DOES feel like a gimmick. Over the last few years of independent filmmaking, we’ve seen our share of shaky cam and while it has its place, its use in A Horrible Way To Die is positively annoying. Yes, the film is going for a form of hardened realism, but that doesn’t mean the audience is required to leave with a headache.

But if you can get past some of the film’s styling issues, the story inside (by Dead Birds writer Simon Barrett)  is quite good in an unexpected way. As Sarah, Amy Seimetz creates an effective shell of a broken woman with a believable and understated performance that provides a solid center. While I’ve never dated a serial killer (that I know of), I think anyone can wonder what it mean to discover someone so close to you has been doing such terrible things. What does it say about you if you didn’t realize?

That’s one of the major questions asked by A Horrible Way To Die. Along the way (to die), we also get to think an awful lot about addiction (be it to Jack Daniels or throat slitting), relationship transitions, and America’s sick fascination with criminal minds. We don’t get answers, but it’s an interesting exercise for viewers looking for a little more challenge in their genre fare.

High Points

Between Seimetz’ distraught Sarah, Bowen’s conflicted killer and Joe Swanberg as the nice guy Kevin, all the performances are top notch in a way that shuns showiness for a harder sense of honesty.

I won’t give away the big twist, but I will give the film credit for its execution. I didn’t see it coming, but I imagine a rewatch would show the signs were there without ever impeding on the initial narrative

Low Points

I won’t lie: the title “A Horrible Way To Die” sets a definitive exploitation expectation that doesn’t in any way fit the film (though yes, it is catchy and makes jerks like me want to rent it). While I think one could assign an interesting interpreations of how the phrase refers to the film, it also seems like a cheap trick to mislead its audience

The aforementioned filming style, something that makes the film feel far more pretentious than it actually is

Lessons Learned

Going to a wine-laden Italian restaurant on your first date with a recently recovering alcoholic is probably ill-advised

When your life has already been something of a horror movie in the past, the last thing you need is a snowy trip to a cabin in the woods

It’s really hard to hurt someone in prison

Rent/Bury/Buy

A Horrible Way To Die calls to mind something like Red White & Blue, a similarly sad look at broken people made with a sprinkle of cinematic pretension. I was a huge fan of that Simon Rumley film, although it certainly sank in deeper with time. I imagine A Horrible Way To Die will have a similar fate. The more I think about Sarah and what it means to have loved a man capable of pure evil, the more intrigued I become with the film I’ve already watched. It has its problems—drink an O’Doules every time I mention shaky cam—but there’s something there in Simon Barrett’s script and Wingard’s direction. To go into the themes might reveal some plot twists and in truth, I haven’t fully decided what they’re trying to say anyway. But that’s part of the enjoyment of a film like this or Red White & Blue. It’s something to think about, a sort of film that gives birth to more questions than answers. I won’t say I liked it or didn’t, but those seeking a challenging spin on the genre could certainly get something out of a rental. That ‘something’ may be a headache or conversation, but hey, it’s something you didn’t have before watching, right?

Yee Haw-ror

For such a good website, IMDB sure has a pretty stupid readership. Somehow I once again find myself prowling the dangerous neighborhood that is their message boards, this time for the 2008 little historical horror, The Burrowers. “Tremors meets Jeepers Creepers,” cries one probably-thinks-he’s-very-clever commenter. You know, because The Burrowers has worms. And...hats?

My point, aside from the fact that people who frequent the IMDB message boards are generally not very bright, is that The Burrowers is a refreshingly well-made and even, dare I say it, original little film that’s mean, gooey, and surprisingly witty. So pah.

Quick Plot:

In the 1870s, a young Irishman named Fergis woos a pioneer lass (House of the Devil’ s Jocelin Donahue in a quick cameo) until her and her entire family disappear one day in the Dakotas. Fergis is soon met by a too-cool Clancy Brown, Lost’s William Mapother and his prospective stepson, and a suspicious military outfit led by another Lost veteran (Doug Hutchison, with a kicking handlebar mustache) to follow the probably doomed trail, assuming the settlers have been abducted by Indians.

It doesn’t take long for the four men to break off into their own posse, joined now by Sean Patrick Thomas’s not-so-Irish cook. Soon they discover a young catatonic woman buried (slightly) alive, her neck marked with an oddly oozy cut and mysterious infection. 

Following my review of Dead Birds  and callout for more historical horror, several readers and friends recommended this 2008 Western creature feature, directed by J.T. Petty. To those who did, I say...thank you. 

The Burrowers isn’t the best straight-to-DVD film I’ve seen this year, but it’s a genuinely rewarding 90 minutes of effective atmosphere, likable acting, and a far smarter-than-it-had-to-be script. It even has some laugh-out-loud lines, particularly in its early scenes as the comfortable cast starts their trail. It can't be easy to write dialogue set one hundred and thirty years ago, but Petty produces some natural and entertaining conversations for his game cast.

More importantly, the film is scary in a unique way you don't really see too much of nowadays. In no way does The Burrowers change the nature of horror cinema, but it actually does some fairly interesting things with its story, killing off characters you expect to go further, avoiding cheap scares where plenty could be used, and teasing us with the nasty subterranian carnivores until near the film's end. Following a rather neat climax, the final moments are incredibly unsettling in a way you just don't find in most horror.

High Points

Headed by a cast of character “that guy” actors, The Burrowers is extraordinarily played. All the men are believable as nineteenth century working fellas, but they also have great chemistry and come off as a likable, if flawed (and doomed) crew

For CGI creations in a low budget film, the titular monsters are surprisingly neat little creatures, with phallic wormy bodies, muscular cricket legs, and ugly little faces primarily marked by the kind of teeth you're really not looking forward to being devoured by

SPOILER LAND

While I don’t usually enjoy a dreary ending for dreariness’ sake, (and The Burrowers finish is a downer), the final images and lines are hauntingly appropriate. We've seen that this is a cruel world run by narrow minded men. A fairy tale finish would've been ridiculous. 

THUS ENDETH SPOILERS

Low Points

I appreciate a film set before electricity not going for the easy fake lighting during night scenes, but at the same time...I really like to see things in movies 

Lessons Learned

Never mess with another man’s Indian

When in doubt, assume you’re surrounded by bear traps. Just trust me on that one

The ability to fall asleep while riding a horse is a power that must be cultivated, though unfortunately, bares no correlation with good aim when shooting a pistol

Vertically challenged men in positions of power will usually do nothing but cause trouble

Rent/Bury/Buy

A highly recommended little Instant Watch, The Burrowers has an intriguing pace that may be a little slow for some viewers. Though it took a fair amount of time to get to the (surprisingly not that brutal) monster mashing, the engaging style of the acting and rare historical setting will still make it a winner for most genre fans. Watching it so closely after Survival of the Dead  even makes me think that my problem with Romero's film had nothing to do with my lack of love for Westerns. This is a solid, scary, and entertaining film that easily warrants a bargain priced buy.

Liberty! Equality! Fraternity! Bloggity!

Missed Bastille Day? There’s always alternative ways to celebrate France’s favorite summer holiday, especially when it comes to horror movies.

Prison Breaks

Since the Bastille was primarily used as a high security fortress, it makes perfect sense to kick back with, say, Stuart Gordon’s Fortress. As a bonus, it even stars a pseudo-French Christopher Lambert! Not into early 90s sci-fi horror? Zombies are the universal language for making a stand against society, so why not queue up an internationally friendly undead film set during a prison riot? Of course, I’m speaking of 1987’s John Saxon directed Zombie Death House. It’s the most holiday appropriate viewing since Santa Clause conquered the Martians.

Rich vs. Poor

Without royalty and peasants, there would be no cause for fireworks this 14th. How does horror celebrate the tragic beauty of class division? Generally, with the poor kicking the rich’s ass or better yet, eating them. Wes Craven’s The People Under the Stairs has a nice ghetto vengeance on oppressive slumlords plot, while George Romero’s still underrated Land of the Dead teaches the wealthy a fine--and final--lesson on oppressing the poor from a glass house. 

I Love a Parade

The French like to honor Bastille Day with a parade and thankfully, so does horror. Scariest parade ever? The coulrophobes among film fans will rightfully cite Killer Klowns From Outer Space, where the full-blown devastation of the titular villain invasion is revealed via ticker tape marching. Alternative watches? I suppose I Know What You Did Last Summer could suffice (especially since it’s so seasonal). Except it doesn’t have cotton candy. And it kind of sucks. 

War...What Is It Good For?

National change, societal fixings, and occasionally, good movies. Sadly I come up empty in identifying official French Revolution-set horror, but its American counterpart The Legend of Sleepy Hollow has a nice flashback colonial touch. Something more current? Choose your battle. Class of 1999 features good old fashioned gang warfare (and psychotic robot teachers, natch). Something more epic? Three films in and those werewolves and vampires still can’t get along in the Underworld series. For a simple wartime setting, there’s always the historical--if still 70 years past the original 1789 anniversary--Dead Birds, an eerie and incredibly well-cast (Michael Shannon, Henry Thomas, Patrick Fugit, plus more) ghost story set during the American Civil War.

National Pride

Perhaps it’s a resurgence of past mentality (this is the birthplace of the Grand Guignol, after all), but something in the Seine is causing France to produce some of the best--and most brutal--horror films of the decade. High Tension, Martyrs, and Inside are easy recommendations but to best capture the political spirit inherent in July 14th, check out Xavier Gens’ Frontier(s). Part torture porn and part backwoods horror, this 2007 film is set in a near future dystopia where a few petty criminals flee a rioting urban French society (get the connection?). Of course, this gory little slice also features evil Nazis, mutants, and slashed Achilles tendons, If that’s not revolutionary, what is?

It should be noted that I have not one drop of French blood in my veins, so if you have any of your own celebrations, add them in the comments section and wave your flag with pride. If it’s any good, I’ll even let you eat cake.

(Dead) Bird Is the Word

Jeepers do I wish there was more historically set horror. Though I imagine big studios are reluctant to drop heavy money bags on a sub-genre that makes mass audiences feel dumb and low budget producers have enough to worry about without the added pressure of period-appropriate props, watching zombies shamble in a pre-panic room world or werewolves hunt car-less victims is just more interesting.

2004’s Dead Birds has a lot of appeal for bored horror fans. With a way better than average cast and more importantly, a Civil War setting, it takes a fresh (in an old fashioned way, if that makes sense) approach to good old Satanism and ghostly hauntings.

Quick Plot: A ragtag gang of bandits (deserting Union soldiers, a love interest nurse, and an escaped slave) introduce themselves by robbing a Confederate bank and spilling a whole lot of impressive/over-the-top blood. In need of rest, leader William (E.T.’s Henry Thomas, bearded and believably manly) leads them to a deceased soldier’s abandoned mansion where CGIish children, scarecrows, and weirdly hairless human-sized dog thingies slowly appear as our antiheroes split up to develop and reveal their own conflicts.

William feels guilty for accidentally shooting a child. His lady friend Annabelle seems haunted by the death of a lovelorn soldier and, in the most interesting, yet least developed plot thread, Michael Shannon’s Clyde and Mark Boone Jr.’s Joseph hesitantly plot to ensure their share of the loot doesn’t fall into the black hands of Todd (Isaiah Washington). Naturally, these flawed individuals are prime fodder for the mysterious villains eager to harass their uninvited guests.

In terms of plot and execution, there’s nothing overly exciting about Dead Birds. The ghoulish kid monsters have a creepy quality, but the forced jump scares are far too reminiscent of J-horror sprites. At the same time, the setting itself and high pedigree cast lend a whole lot in elevating the film above the usual straight-to-DVD fare.

High Points

Am I being too hopeful, or was the eerie ragdoll with eyes and mouth sewn shut a vague visual reference to the debut Doll’s House feature, Cathy’s Curse ?

Though some viewers may complain about the not-quite complete mythology the bizarre nature of the kills is both unique and disturbing

Low Points

Peter Lopez’s score isn’t terrible, but it’s used in such a predictable way that generally negates any scare potential packed by the surprise images

I don’t mind--in fact, my High Point proves, I rather enjoyed--the lack of any specific explanation, but leaving the fate of one major character to an incomplete image is a little frustrating

Lessons Learned

Sadly, real gold does not contain a chocolate center


Slutty 19th century nurses can really bring your day down

Always pay close attention to the incredibly obvious musical cues. It will totally protect you from the inevitable jump scares.

Rent/Bury/Buy

This is a genuinely solid watch that can certainly grab you if you’re in the right mood. Though I had a few issues with some of the execution, the Western/Confederate spin and confident ghost story is a definite rent that will probably hold up for repeat viewings. I’d love to see director Alex Turner sharpen his own voice a little more without relying on a few contrived cinematic tricks. Even so, Dead Birds is a solid recommendation that will offer tired horror fans something new.