Showing posts with label keri russell. Show all posts
Showing posts with label keri russell. Show all posts

Monday, May 23, 2022

Oh Deer


Ever feel dumb? I was a good ten minutes into
Antlers before I realized it was a different movie from Horns.

Anyhoo...

Quick Plot: Frank, a nice upstanding citizen, is cooking meth in a closed Oregon mine with his associate by his side and son Aiden on watch. Something attacks the men, leaving a complicated new family setup for older (but still elementary age) brother Lucas. 


At school, Lucas tries to stay under the radar, understandable when your weekly chores now involve collecting roadkill to feed your feral dad and little brother locked in the ever-smelling basement. His teacher Julia (sad eyeliner mood Keri Russell) senses something is amiss, having herself grown up a victim of abuse alongside her now town sheriff brother Paul (Jesse Plemons).


Julia tries to reach out to Lucas, but the boy is (UNDERSTANDABLY) hesitant. When she sends her principal (randomly played by Amy Madigan) to visit his home, the carnage spills out.



Or...not? I don't know, if four mangled-beyond-recognition corpses were discovered in a tiny town over the course of 48 hours, wouldn't...someone care? Poor ill-equipped Paul and his even less-prepared deputy (PLAYED BY RORY COCHRANE FOR SOME REASON) take on the case, enlisting the wisdom of retired sheriff (and conveniently inidgenous) Graham Greene to throw in some handy wendigo slaying trivia.



I'm being a little hard on Antlers, and here's why: this movie could have been so much more.

You have an actual cast of good, interesting actors, a decently sprawling Pacific Northwest environment, a classic monster tale with pathos, and some genuinely incredible and surprising practical effects. So why did this movie leave me so...meh?



Two reasons: for one, this is a story that makes no bones about using indigenous folklore as its basis. So naturally, it's entirely about white people. Sure, we've got Graham Greene cashing a check to stop by and expound some exposition, but you can almost see the boredom in his eyes as he rushes through his expanded cameo. Apparently, there were some earnest efforts behind the scenes to stay true to First Nations culture, but it LITERALLY stayed behind the scenes. Here's an interview with filmmaker Scott Cooper about the process:

I had Native advisors for “Hostiles” [Cooper's previous film] as well, and for this particular film “Antlers,” I worked very closely with professor Grace Dillon from Portland State University, who is Native American and is the foremost authority on the Wendigo and has written extensively about it. So from writing the screenplay to the conception of the design of the Wendigo, she worked with me while I was shooting, to the final iteration of it, it was really important to me to have people who knew much more about it who were also of an indigenous culture help guide me.

That's great! But...like...did he not think it was weird that all this research was placed squarely on Caucasian characters? Look, I'm even whiter than Jesse Plemons so I can gracefully step back from a fight that isn't really mine, but it's genuinely shocking that a fairly mainstream release would be this blatantly...white in 2022.



The other issue I found with Antlers is more a matter of personal taste, and heck, maybe just had to do with my own mood but here goes: everyone and everything in the universe of this movie is sad. This is a town filled with haunted meth labs, abusive parents, recovering alcoholics, inefficient educators, nasty bullies, doomed skunks, and just for the fun of it, extremely gray weather that wraps up the misery with a hazy bow. Not every movie needs to be sing with joy like, I don't know, The Mitchells vs. The Machines, but every second of Antlers' runtime feels like the before part of an antidepressant medication commercial. The scares are a genuine relief.



High Points
Again, I do want to be clear that in terms of filmmaker, Antlers has a lot of quality going for it! Keri Russell and newcomer Jeremy Thomas do an achingly good job of conveying incredibly sad lives lived under a dark shadow of abuse



Low Points
Unfortunately, the script never seems to find the time to know what to do with all of the pain it spilled out in its first five minutes. Is this a story about drugs ravaging a small town, mental illness and alcoholism tearing families apart, or just how many people can die horrific deaths due to bad police training? It's too much, and not enough of any of it to add up to something satisfying



Lessons Learned
Teachers know everything (including the important food fact that ice cream is a vegetable)



Leatherface masks come in wendigo sizes

Who needs a school budget to invest in guidance counselors or therapists when any problem can be diagnosed through crayons?



Rent/Bury/Buy
If you love a wendigo story or crave a new monster design, Antlers is certainly worth a try. I found it frustrating not because it's a bad film, but because it simply could have been so much better. It's currently streaming on HBO Max.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Once Upon a Time, The World Was Very Boring


Cannibals! Felicity! Genital Feasts!

It would take a lot for this movie not to work, right?

Quick Plot: A grad student named Kate (a straight-haired, monotone speaking Keri Russell) has moved to Germany to write her thesis on the infamous cannibal murder of Oliver and Simon (based on the bizarre real-life case of Armin Meiwes). As Kate investigates what led these two men to such extremes, we watch flashbacks of, well, what led these two men to such extremes. Just like Kate investigates. And then we watch. Her investigate.



For a movie about sexy thrill-seeking cannibals, Grimm Love sure is a drag. The film gets to a terribly drab start with Russell's Valium-induced voiceover, a rambling soliloquy about loneliness and the desire to find someone who can see inside of you. If the content didn't seem dull enough, perhaps the fact that Russell's enthusiasm makes Harrison Ford's Blade Runner exposition sound like Robin Williams' Aladdin Genie should clue you in.



Directed by Martin Weisz (he of the recent Hills Have Eyes 2, and yes, that's the one with more rape and less dog flashbacks than Wes Craven's original), Grimm Love is indeed a grim tale. I don't mean that as a compliment. Weighted down in dark eyeshadow and raccoon liner, Keri Russell is woefully miscast, though the character of Kate is even more woefully underdeveloped. IMDB trivia explains that a lot of scenes were eliminated from the final cut, which on one hand, explains the incompleteness, but on the other, is horrifying in itself. The Netflix streaming edition ran at 94 minutes, and while I've had had dental work that lasted longer, I swear it felt like a breeze compared to what must have been the LONGEST 94 MINUTE MOVIE OF ALL TIME.



This was a slog.

The idea is certainly ripe for a film adaptation. Why WOULD a man willfully submit himself to be eaten (penis-first) by a stranger, and what kind of stranger has such a particular appetite? It's almost as if Grimm Love figured out all too late that such questions are truly fascinating when explored, not when we watch them be explored by a third party. As Kate tracks down news articles and breaks into abandoned homes, we get flashbacks that follow both men through their child and adult years. Early scenes are even (rather annoyingly) portrayed as if they were grainy 8MM projections, a trick that might work in a better movie but here felt like a last-ditch effort to bring something visually interesting to the otherwise drab palette.



I never thought I'd be so bored by a film that includes a scene where a man--not just any man, but Karate Dog's Thomas Kretschmann, for pete's sake--made an anatomically correct male figure out of butter and ate the phallus as if it were the last Twinkie on the shelf. Maybe it was the fact that the previous scene featured his soon-to-be meal begging a hooker to, and I quote, "Bite my thing off!" that killed the element of surprise. Maybe my standards are insanely high when it comes to anatomically correct butter men and Karate Dog alumni.



Or maybe Grimm Love is just a boring movie.

High Notes
Look, I'm not arguing with the IDEA behind Grimm Love, right down to its exploration of two gay men with mother issues and insecurities. THAT'S practically golden. But when you chop it up and let a dull grad student shoot it out with the energy of a sloth, you end up with--

Low Notes
This movie



Stray Observations
At 31, I'm at an age where I and my peers could indeed decide to complete our college education with a masters degree or doctorate. And yet, of all my friends and acquaintances, I think I know two currently enrolled. So why, I ask, is approximately 83% of all horror film protagonists grad students? Do they just make better movie prey, or do I just hang out with the uneducated?

Lessons Learned
A bedroom says a lot about a person

One should always find the right balance between cannibalism and sunshine




People taste like pork


Rent/Bury/Buy
Unless your number one sexual fantasy is watching a pseudo-goth grrrrl Felicity surf the internet, I suggest you give Grimm Love a pass. Sure, it's more competently made than a good deal of the grad-student-based horror films currently streaming on Instant Watch, but if the price of decent product values is anything interesting onscreen, then you can give me my shot-on-video boom mike falls any day.