Nerd Alert!

 

It's been far too long since I nerded out with some genre book recommendations. So put on those spectacles and let's go to the library!

Fantasticland by Mike Bockoven

World War Z (the book, not bland excuse for a movie) laid out a pretty great template for how to tackle an high concept story. Oral histories aren't new, but Max Brooks took the format to such success with his epic zombie tale that it's not surprising to see the next generation of horror novelists try the same thing. Mike Bockoven doesn't really have the same sharpness in his actual writing, but by golly can he tell a fun story. In Fantasticland, we follow the bizarre fallout of an unprecedented hurricane locking a Florida theme part away from the rest of the world. The mostly twentysomething part-time employees are left to quickly form their own tribes, enjoying all of the concession stand offerings while turning gift shop souvenirs into grand scale weaponry. It's a wild ride that doesn't fully work if you think too hard about it, but you'll have a hard time putting it down. 

Pair It With:

H.G. Bells' Sleep Over is similarly a better idea than novel, but it's SUCH a good idea. It follows the same oral history style as Fantasticland, only with more widespread apocalyptic overtones. One day, nobody can sleep. And the next day, they still can't. What happens to the world when every one of its inhabitants is functioning in a fugue state? A whole lot of pretty horrible stuff. Enjoy!

Natural Beauty by Ling Ling Huang

 

There's nothing new is framing the beauty industry as body horror, but Ling Ling Huang's exploration brings some new ideas to the table. A former piano prodigy stumbles into a day job at an innovative new spa. Before she can read the side effects, she's experiencing bizarre transformations that turn her Chinese-American identity into something very, very different. Huang's writing isn't for everyone, but it's a very specific window that's worth a peek through. 

Pair It With:

I haven't had the chance to write about just how much I loved The Substance, and now that it's a bona fide 4-time Oscar nominee, there's a part of me that feels like you don't need me telling you what you probably already know: it's a joyfully gross rave of just how weird body dysmorphia makes us. 

Mister Magic by Kiersten White

The setup of Mister Magic is incredibly cool: the youth cast of a Romper Room-esque kids show reunites as adults, only nobody, including the internet, quite remembers why the show ended in the first place. There is somehow no video evidence of it ever even airing, though the Mandela Effect is in full swing with chat room typers who can fill in the blanks. Author Kiersten White was raised Mormon and seems to use Mister Magic as a thoughtful way to explore the stifling, dangerous nature that religion wields over its children. The novel doesn't quite go as dark as you might expect early on so horror readers should keep their expectations in check. Still, it's a unique idea that should satisfy some readers.

Pair It With:

I had last mentioned Mister Magic in a review for Mr. Crocket, which certainly shares some story threads in following an '80s children's television show personality with nefarious motives towards his audience. It's an easy double bill, but I'll also throw out the title of 2024's best film, and one that also happens to use fuzzy media nostalgia as a lens to find a deeper understanding of identity: I Saw the TV Glow.

Siren Queen by Nghi Vo

If you liked Babylon but thought it needed more dark magic, allow me to introduce you to the glorious Siren Queen. Set in the golden pre-Hays Code Hollywood, Nghi Vo's novel follows an ambitious Chinese American actress as she navigates monstrous studio heads and witchy wilting stars who have all sold aspects of their soul to live the dream. Luli is willing to do the same but only on the condition that she never be cast as a maid. So where does that leave a non-caucasian, queer starlet? Well, as the monster of course! Vo goes all in with turning the studio backlots into a weekly witches' sabbaths, with characters shapeshifting into far more interesting creatures than any plastic surgery could create. 

Pair It With:

I'm not always the biggest fan of Hollywood stories, as the behind-the-scenes narratives usually just feel too insidery or depressing. Both descriptions fit a film I love in spite of this: Kevin Kolsh and Dennis Widmeyer's Starry Eyes, which stars a game Alex Essoe as a struggling actress who finds herself in situations not unlike Luli. If you enjoyed the brutal Starry Eyes, Siren Queen might read for you as a similar story told decades earlier.

A Certain Hunger by Chelsea G. Summers 

Deliciously twisted is the best way I'd describe this novel, which follows a painfully chic food critic who discovers that nothing tastes as good as the perfectly prepared flesh of an ex. It's impossible not to be swept up in the glamorous, worldly life of our occasional cannibalistic narrator Dorothy Daniels. Summers relishes Dorothy's unapologetic hedonism, and I found it impossible not to root for her to savor every bite.

Pair It With:

I'm certainly not saying Ridley Scott's Hannibal is a good movie, but it is, in the words of modern vernacular, a VIBE, and therefore, a fitting pairing to A Certain Hunger in celebrating the carnal pleasure of perfectly prepared meat. 

Won't You Kill My Neighbor?

“Evil Mr. Rogers” is a concept that screams for the horror treatment. How has it taken this long?

Quick Plot: Young Darren loves nothing more than Mr. Crocket, a Mr. Rogers-y television show that airs during miserable dinners with his timid mother Rhonda and abusive stepfather Kevin. After a tense round of string beans, Mr. Crocket himself shows up for a bite...of Kevin. 

Elsewhere in town, 8-year-old Major is struggling to understand the death of his father, deflecting with video games and outbursts while his mother Summer tries her best to move forward. He's throwing tantrums and making Mom's life pure misery. Self-help parenting tapes do little to aid Summer, but when a clamshell-cased episode of Mr. Crocket shows up in the free mailbox outside her home, she figures it's worth a try. 

Major is hooked, and it only takes a few days for Mr. Crocket to take hold (figuratively and literally). Like Darren, Major seems to have vanished through his living room walls, leaving Summer fraught with an unbelievable story and heavy heart. 

The police don't believe her, even though several other missing children in town have followed the same pattern. A little library research leads Summer to Rhonda and Eddie, whose daughter went missing under similar circumstances. Together, they decide to open Mr. Crocket’s door and retrieve their children.

It’s not quite as easy as one would hope. The bright colors of the VHS set prove to be far darker in Mr. Crocket’s actual hell, a violent landscape born out of the horrors of collective abuse curated by its own Freddy Kruegger-ish host. 

Expanded from a short film, Mr. Crocket is a fabulous concept and a good final product. Carl Reid and director Brandon Espy’s script is filled with clever ideas and clearly has some deep things to explore regarding what it means to grow up in a home marked by violence. Doing so through a murderous Mr. Rogers is pretty genius. 

The film doesn’t quite live up to it. You can feel the budget bursting, particularly in the somewhat muddled finale. I don’t know what the time frame was from short film to feature, but the final script probably needed one more draft or ten more minutes of runtime to feel complete. It’s disappointing only because the idea is so fresh. Overall, this is a solid little film that’s quite enjoyable, even if it doesn’t quite meet its own expectations. 

High Points

As the titular Mr. Crocket, Elvis Nolasco is clearly relishing the opportunity to play such a twisted character. It’s a juicy performance that goes a very long way

Low Points

I realize more and more every day that audiences aren’t quite as smart as I would think, but it still irks me when a movie feels the need to lay out its themes so directly. “I was born in the fires of hell and abuse” should be subtext, not actual dialogue

High/Low Point You Should Only Read To Be Spoiled

I wondered a LOT about Alex Akpobome’s choices in playing Eddie. Bad casting or bad acting? Turns out, neither, because the character isn’t at all what you think (thank goodness)

Lessons Learned

Junk food just makes you sleepy and tired

One should always use some caution with free libraries, but particularly in the 1980s when they weren’t actually a thing

Further Reading

While watching Mr. Crocket, I found myself thinking a lot about Kiersten White’s Mr. Magic, a genre novel that plays with a similar setup involving an ‘80s style children’s show gone wrong. The one is more Mormons meet Romper Room, but if you were looking for another spin on this kind of setup, give it a read.

Rent/Bury/Buy

Mr. Crocket is a little rough around the edges, but it’s such a fresh idea that any horror fan (particularly one who spends far too much time complaining about sequels and reboots) really owes it to the genre to give it a watch. It’s a quick 90 minutes on Hulu.