Showing posts with label pollyanna mcintosh. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pollyanna mcintosh. Show all posts

Monday, August 1, 2016

Game of Scones


There are few actors who can be the sole reason I check out a film. The sinfully underrated Pollyanna McIntosh is one of those few. 


You might know her as the silent Fifth Element-y assassin Angel in Hap and Leonard, or the standout businesswoman in the clever Exam. More likely, you’d spot her as the titular The Woman, a film that was all but made because McIntosh was so damn good in the otherwise passable dollar store version of Offspring. Even when she’s working with little (the bland The Blood Lands, for example) McIntosh brings it all, sort of like a Debbie Rochon but with much better results. 


Add in Davos Seaworth (or actor Liam Cunningham, whichever you prefer) and you can bet your haggis that I’m giving Let Us Prey a go. 


Quick Plot: Rachel Heggie (McIntosh) is starting her first night as constable in a small Scottish town. Her sergeant is a religious, misogynist prick, while her fellow two officers, Warnock and Mundie, are more concerned about their affair than enforcing the law. From a crime-safe perspective, Mayberry was in better shape. 


As soon as she clocks in, Heggie witnesses a drunken teenager named Caesar drive straight into a mysterious, possibly homeless man named Six (Cunningham) who all but disappears upon impact before being brought in by Mundie and Warnock. 


Six is locked up in a now-crowded jail cell with the punky Caesar, a wife beating schoolteacher, and the local doctor, who is called in to check on Six but soon joins him when he inexplicably tries to stab his patient. Sgt. MacReady leaves his young staff to take care of his own sinful matters, as Six reveals a certain kind of sensory power.


Six, you see, is something of an avenging angel, an ageless creature who can see one’s past crimes at the mere touch of a hand. Not surprisingly, all the assembled parties have some grisly skeletons in their closets. 


Directed by first timer Brian O’Malley, Let Us Prey is an incredibly pleasant surprise of a horror movie. As expected, McIntosh’s character is a believable badass, and her character has a rewarding, surprising arc. Once the story is established, the plot pretty much follows the beat you expect, but it does so in an intense, never dull fashion. I certainly could have used more of everything--more character development, more establishment of the town, more time for the sinners to show some layers--but hey, any film that makes you want a sequel is certainly a good thing.


High Points
It’s a tad heavy-handed, but the score and photography--particularly during the opening credits--are so darn dramatic that they send a pretty strong and effective sensory overload to keep the stakes high


Aforementioned glory that is Pollyanna McIntosh and Liam Cunningham


Low Points
It might have been nice to have a little more nuance to the rest of the characters, who mostly end up as stock jerks


Lessons Learned
A speaker implies. A listener infers

Never call a psychotic repressed Christian homosexual “old”



Even small towns keep a reliable supply of battering rams

Rent/Bury/Buy

Let Us Prey isn’t perfect, but it’s a solid, quick-paced little tale that I found to be highly enjoyable. The cast is obviously tops, and the photography is, at times, truly gorgeous. It will be exciting to see what else we get from Brian O’Malley. This one’s on Netflix Instant, so go for it. 

Monday, November 9, 2015

Strike Up the Bagpipes




When you've seen one horror movie with a Netflix cover showing a woman on the ground reaching for help, you've probably seen them all.
I hadn't seen this one, so I did. And now I can the previous sentence to say, "I actually had pretty much seen this one."


Quick Plot: Ed and Sarah are a British city couple looking to settle in a more spacious and picturesque local. When a beautiful farmhouse in remote Scotland shows up on the market at a bargain price (in part because the previous owner and his extensive family could no longer afford it) they move in with full DIY enthusiasm.

Before the couple has a chance to reroute their mail, a group of rubber pig mask wearing locals brings on the home invasion, leaving us with a 45 minute chase through the woods.

It's not nearly as interesting as it sounds.
The Blood Lands has been shoving its cover in my face every time I log into Netflix, and the pedigree of the wonderful Pollyana McIntosh (The Woman herself) and short running time made it an easy sell. Clearly, I need to raise my standards.

The location is pretty. The leads are fine (even if they also happen to be yuppie jerks with little to no charm). But essentially, Simeon Halligan's The Bad Lands (aka White Settlers) is a five minute chase scene from something like The Strangers or You're Next stretched into a full-length feature. The villains have no discernible personality other than "hating British city folk who buy their rightful home" and "wearing rubber pig masks." The music is probably the film's best feat, but this isn't the score to Halloween or It Follows. It's just, you know, okay.

It's rare that I'm so baffled by why a movie was made, but when you get to the end of The Blood Lands, I think you might furrow your eyebrow with the same confusion that I did. This is a movie constructed and presented like your standard home invasion horror, but it's weirdly afraid to commit to it. We have a ridiculously long buildup surrounding uninteresting characters, an extensive cat and mouse hunt that offers nothing new, and an incredibly tame ending that leaves you shrugging. These things are not good.

High Points
I've always been a fan of McIntosh, and it's also nice that her character generally shows good instincts in fighting back

Low Points
Aside from the whole "what's the point of this movie at all" thing, here comes yet another film to feature a character discovering another bound and gagged and first ungagging them before, oh, I don't know, untying his hands so that a) he can ungag himself and b) he can help you when the person who presumably gagged him in the first place comes right back


Lessons Learned, The Scotland Edition
Scottish people hate the English with more fervor than I hate onions

Things you won't find in Scotland: network signals, working electricity, traffic, bears



Things you will find in Scotland: bear traps. Glorious, glorious bear traps


Rent/Bury/Buy
The Blood Lands isn't an incompetent film, but it sure is an incredibly frustrating one. It goes on too long with no payoff, and considering the film doesn't crack 90 minutes, that's a pretty rough selling point. 

Monday, October 26, 2009

Have a Yabba Dabba Doo Death


Stephen King may be the mainstream go-to for horror literature, but when it comes to fiction that digs into your soul and chips away at your sense of what’s right in the world, pick up a Jack Ketchum book. From vividly gruesome novels riddled with torn limbs to stories that break your heart in less than ten pages without a drop of spilled blood, his work never fails to make me reach for reliable reassurance with a hug from my cat or cuddle with the old Pound Puppy. 
In theory, much of his work comes ready-made for film adaptations. Early novels like Off Season leap off the page with visceral violence screaming for some handy makeup effects, while The Lost could easily be a good actor’s dream role along the lines of De Niro’s Travis Bickle. 2009‘s Offspring marks the fourth attempt to bring Ketchum’s words to the screen, and like The Girl Next Door and The Lost (I can’t speak for Red as it’s still making its way up my queue), it works on some levels while failing to capture the true horror of its source material. 

Quick Plot:
The ominously named Dead River, Maine, is about to be revisited by a clan of savage cave cannibals who made their mark eleven years earlier (for reference, read Off Season, Ketchum’s 1980 debut novel which for rights reasons, couldn’t be filmed) by snatching a few babies and devouring a lot of adults. After a gooey prologue introduces the hungry clan, we meet The Brood’s Art Hindle as a weathered policeman coming out of retirement to lend a hand to the helpless police force. Meanwhile, our civilian protagonists are introduced as genuine nice people. The omnivores include Amy and David Halbard, a nerdily sweet young couple with a cute newborn, their visiting friend Claire Carey, and her resourceful son Luke. The latter two are in the midst of dealing with financial woes caused by Stephen Carey, an alcoholic, abusive, and tax-evading father who abandoned them months earlier but is now en route to do even more damage. 
What makes Offspring work--both on page and screen--is the attention given to developing its characters. In most cannibals-hunting-normal-people films, humans exist as mere meat just waiting to be served. Here, the Halbards, Careys, and, to a lesser extent, Hindle’s George Peters are actual people well-deserving of our sympathies. This makes the first attack incredibly effective. Watching feral children gut innocent suburbanites is always going to stir up some emotions in its audience, but when we actually like said victims, it’s truly horrifying. 
One of the most disturbing elements of Offspring, however, is its civilized villain, Stephen. Actor Erick Kastel gives this yuppie sadist a nice sense of misogyny that toes a line between forced evil and true psychopathy. Like in the novel, one of the strongest scenes has nothing to do with hunting knives or hatchets. Stephen picks up a perky hitchhiker, only to quickly unnerve her with nastiness. It’s a nice early twist that further infuses Offspring with a sense of wrongness, much in the way The Girl Next Door features a creepy ant war that works to unsettle the audience before digging into the main action. 

The sense of savagery inside Offspring is at times aided by its low budget and lack of studio rating. Children are shot, babies are tossed, and many a stomach is torn apart in a manner that would most likely have had the MPAA seething. The biggest complaint a lot of viewers will mostly likely have is the low quality camera work that feels nearly homemade. Occasionally, this works for artistic reasons (such as Stephen’s first meeting with the demolition-happy cannibals as he storms away in his Porsche) but unfortunately, some of the actual editing stunts the action by lingering in all the wrong spots. Director Andrew van den Houten doesn’t seem to have any real eye for shooting scenes or building suspense. It’s possible to defend some of the visuals and lack of build-up as modern exploitation, but as you watch Offspring, it feels much more along the lines of sloppy filmmaking.
But as far as the horror goes, Offspring works at grounding itself in one awful night of slaughter. Ketchum himself penned the script and it’s obvious he retained most of his own character work in shaping the victims. The clan, on the other hand, is a mixed bag of effectiveness: evil and athletic children are sufficiently rotten, and  schoolteacher Ed Nelson’s performance as Cow (the crazed and imprisoned sex toy of the group) is quite creepy. Pollyanna McIntosh comes off best as the leading matriarch, but the entire look of these horrific man-eaters feels...well...costume store sponsored. I was more impressed by the fact that Second Stolen’s metal rock wig stayed on when she tossed her hair than I was by her self flagellation. I understand that a limited budget wouldn’t quite capture the nipple belt so well described on the page, but it’s a shame to see these potentially nightmare-inducing creations end up looking like a family dressing up like the Flintstones for Halloween, but forgetting to take their costumes off come Thanksgiving.
High Points
All the gore--and there is a lot--is quite well done, always grossing you out and never inspiring you to pass the ketchup


You can’t underestimate the importance in fleshing out (no pun intended; I need to stop this Crypt Keeper business before I corn myself to death) the characters. With a few gaps here and there, the lead performances are all very solid in creating actual people, thus making their brutal attacks as sad as they are frightening
Low Points
So much about the technical filmmaking misses the mark. For one, the coloring never seems to make up its mind. The hellish cave is too orange, creating a campfire feel rather than a disgustingly bone-filled home base of killer cannibals
Even though I read Offspring less than a year ago, the motivations of the clan were hazy at best. I only remembered the fact that the older children were named “First Stolen” and “Second Stolen” because of the IMDB listing. Knowing that these horrid creatures were once kidnapped babies is a huge part of the novel that adds weight to the newly kidnapped children, but in the film, none of this disturbing backstory comes across. 


Lessons Learned
If you need to escape from an entire town’s police force, simply trot into the woods while they watch you waving their fists
Everybody in New England carries a full flask
Kicking a corpse will not bring it back to life
Don’t expect the 16 year old babysitter to successfully defend your newborn against a feral clan of baby-eating cannibals
Knives are very noisy when pulled out of stomachs


Rent/Bury/Buy
Word of mouth has been pretty turgid for Offspring, but I found it to be an entertaining little slice of 90 minutes. In no way does it fully capture the horrific nature of the novel, but it does offer more than a few moments to unsettle jaded DVD renters. I can see many a cynical horror fan picking more bones with the look and general feel of this film, but I guess those who want to like it will find more than enough to enjoy in a sitting. Whereas The Girl Next Door remains a chilling and troubling film with each subsequent viewing, Offspring’s power lays more in its action, making it most likely a one-watch for the majority of horror fans. The loaded DVD includes a detailed behind-the-scenes featurette, commentary, and a few more little goodies worth checking out. I’m partial to the making-of documentary, where we get to watch the final kid-on-kid battle in a split screen with the child actors’ parents looking on with pride, horror, and gum snaps.