Blind Date

I've never been on one.

I have this fear of rejection and all that so I don't want to show up at a place and look like an idiot. I haven't even seen his picture! So I'm kinda hesitant about meeting him.

Blind dates. Good Idea or bad?

On an unrelated note, I'm GLAD SHE"S BACK!



I love this song. 'cuz i'm wetoddit like dut.

Nothingness

I've never liked taking summer classes. I really detest doing schoolwork when the weather outside is too hot and sticky. I should be lounging by the pool or on the beach reading my favorite books. I've accumulated too many books which I have not yet read.
I don't feel very fabulous lately. I am in need of some dire retail therapy.
I did just finish reading Jessica Zafra's Twisted 8.
I loved it.
It really brings Manila to a different level of understanding for me especially the short stories.
Buy it. Read it.
My next book is Murakami's 69.

~~

Good Friday

I was going to post some new stuff, but I remembered that it's Good Friday. Out of deference to all Christians, I will not post it until Easter.

I remember my Lola would always tell me that Jesus would die on Friday and since Christ would not be around until Sunday, we should all behave and be good lest the devil should take our souls and aswangs attack!

I will take the opportunity now to answer questions and comments.

@Quentin- SATC the movie comes out May 30 in the US. I think. I hope.
@Rye- I am soooo excited to see it! I count the days!
@Nelson- I had no idea there was such a group as the Gucci Gang. I don't believe that the Philippines is a nation of thieves, just a majority of those in power.

For those who commented about the political situation in the Philippines, keep in mind that all things come to pass. Even GMA's Administration. There is an end to all things.

Thank you for the comments and for those who read though my posts have become few and far between.

Looking Forward

I think 2008 will be the year of change. It'll be one of those defining years.

First, my very first Godchild will be born. Her name will be Isabella.

Second, I'll be finished with my undergrad in accounting. It's about time.

Third, Boosh will finally leave office.


Fourth, A Democrat will be President again. Go Barack!


and lastly, my gals are coming back!

Slap Slap!

OUCH!

At Wit's End

Love can make you do some fucked up things.

I have this friend. Let’s call him E. He’s like a brother to me. He’s a good looking guy and can probably bag any man he wants, but just lacks the confidence. Let’s start at the beginning.

About 8 months ago, E went to his boss’s house to play playstation and get drunk. Then one thing led to another and before they knew it, they were watching porn. As the scene grew hotter, Bossman looked at E and E looked at him. Something could have happened then and there. But E chose not to do anything. His boss is STRAIGHT.

Months later, after hanging out more often with Bossman, E fell in love. He began to live in a world of fantasy where he would follow Bossman’s every move. E would relish Bossman’s lingering scent and would be thrilled when he would smile at him. This went on for quite some time and E fell even more in love.

We advised him not to fall in and to stay away. But the more he stayed away, the more Bossman grew anxious and it affected the workplace. So E resumed contact once again. Then one weekend E was once again invited to Bossman’s house where he was introduced to drugs (I have no clue as to what type it is) and copious amounts of alcohol. After that weekend, E grew more despondent and began to retract from me and his other friends. Bossman became an obsession.

The last time I spoke to him, he was high or drunk and with Bossman.
I’m at my wits’ end.
I feel like I have failed a friend.
I hate the feeling of being a failure.

I don’t know what to do next.

Busy Busy

I haven’t needed a vacation like I do right now. I just need to get away.

Far away.

The only relaxation I get these days is my weekly facials. Over the past few days, I had to deal with 3 tests, 2 reports, drama at work, and a new business venture.

A co-worker had approached about an idea of his which I am currently researching. He and others will put up the capital and I will get a percentage for my work. Since they are elderly people, they don’t know how to use computers, much less write a business plan and run around the city following up on contracts. It’s been really hectic. I get about 5 hours of sleep a night. Then again, it is a lot of money to just pass on.

As they say,

“Sacrifice today means affluence tomorrow.”

Photo courtesy of Intercontinental Hotels Group

My Thoughts On Erap

To those of you who judge Estrada as just some petty politician who is out only for himself, I say "Don't judge a book by its cover." I have been lucky enough to have met the former President and can only judge him to be a well-meaning, sincere, and charming man. There's been a lot of ugly things written about him, and I hope that people look real hard at themselves and the other politicians who are guilty of the same sins.

Consider the fact that his former best friend, the admitted "jueteng lord", is now hailed as a national hero. Now that is perverse! His old enemies have now become allies, while allies have turned to enemies.Politics does indeed make for strange bedfellows.

I can't even imagine how his family feels right now.

After all the politicking is over, I will still remember the jovial man whom I met years ago when I was still a boy living in San Juan. That memory of Erap will be the one I hearken to whenever someone calls him a monster. I can only wish him the best.

September

Where did summer go?

Then again, it never really leaves Florida. The temperature outside is well above 90 degrees and will continue to be so until November.

Now that the "ber" months are here, Christmas comes closer and closer. That means that the shopping season will start. I promised myself that I will finish my Christmas shopping very very early this year. My deadline: before Thanksgiving.

I am slowly inching towards graduation and to tell you folks the truth:

I am terrified.

Once I graduate, I'll have to go out on my own and I've even flirted with the idea of moving to a new city. My parents support my idea. They really have no choice.

I think September is my favorite month. It's the beginning and the end. The end of summer fun and the beginning of school. Out with sandals and shorts, In with long coats and furs. Lest we forget, New York Fashion Week starts September 5th.

Anyway I leave you now with my September song.

The old me

Aunt Aida left this afternoon to go back to New Jersey. All week she regaled us with the latest tsismis from the town where I grew up. There are so many changes and I was just amazed at how things could be different and the same at the same time. Most of my friends have graduated college and are now on graduate schools or have jobs. Most, as you might guess, have become nurses. A few have gone to med school.
I miss them all. I haven't returned to my hometown since moving here in Florida.

I began to wonder about the past.
About who I was then and who I am now.
Then, I was straight or rather denying the fact that I was even gay. I used to have a girlfriend whom I loved. But it just wasn't for me. She knew about me and played along.

Although I don't like my current location now, it really enabled me to find myself. I moved here and had no friends, no relatives except for my parents. I had nothing going for me. That's when I came out to myself. I know who I am.

Perhaps the next time I move others will know the real me. And I won't feel the need to hide anymore.

There's a time for everything.

Lower Expectations?

I’m completely oblivious when people start to flirt with me.

Last Sunday while searching for the perfect birthday gift for Mommie Dearest, I saw the perfect Diane Von Furstenberg tote bag. Granted, Mommie Dearest isn’t really fond of tote bags, but I did feel sorry for her when I saw her balancing her papers in one arm and her LV speedy in another. I think she needs something to just hold all her papers together.

As I perused the selection, I was completely unaware that someone was perusing me. Well, not completely. I did see him peeking at me but paid no notice. I was still mired in what to choose. When I’m shopping, the whole world just kinda goes away and yours truly is oblivious of anything happening around me. I looked over at the Calvin Klein shirts and saw the “50% off” sign. I walked over to the rack and started to quickly review the shirts; picking out the ones I liked. I leafed through it like the pages through a book. Then Asian guy said, “Hey. Be more careful. These are expensive clothes you know…”
I smiled and laughed it off.
Obviously this guy has never heard of what expensive really is. When I hear the word expensive I think Christian Dior Couture or Chanel.
I immediately went back to looking at the shirts.
He was trying to make eye and I wasn’t making it easy.
I picked out the shirts I wanted: a black cotton polo and a long-sleeved striped.
Asian boy once again sidled up next to me to the counter to pay.
“Nice Shirts.” He said.
I smiled.
“These are the ones I picked” He raised the two DKNY t-shirts.
I smiled.
I swiped my Amex.
“Nice card.” He said.
I smiled.
Then I left.
Just like that.
As I sat in the Starbucks, I thought to myself “Why do I just shut people out?” “Is it because I’m not “fully out” I had to wonder.
Had I began my downward slide into becoming one of those old maids that just go shopping?
Come to think of it. I kinda regret not giving him a chance.
Are my standards for a boyfriend too strict and high that it’s virtually unattainable?
Is there a time when everyone must lower their expectations?

It finally happened.

Just as I was going to bed, I checked Empress Maruja's latest entry.

I won one. I finally won his Bunny Man Hunt!!!!

Many many thanks to the Empress for having such a fun game which gives me headaches at times. Try it out! Everyone! It's not as hard as it seems. Plus his entries are wonderfully entertaining.

Back to bed for me. Must look fresh and smiling for my first meeting with the new boss tomorrow.

Do Me Wrong. Do Me Right.

Incompetence

I think that there's a rule in large multinational companies: Promote the most incompetent idiots as middle managers. The levels of bureaucracy is just sheer madness. District managers to Market Managers to Country Managers to Division Managers to Regional Managers. Arghhh! Our humble outpost was recently paid a surprise visit by middle managers coming all the way from the Imperial Headquarters. They flew in their private jets (queue Darth Vader music) and had our head honcho meet them at the airport. Then they started looking around and criticizing every single mistake that THEY made which THEY blamed on US of course! Middle managers. Bah! I simply hate them. The sheer incompetence is simply astounding...

~~~~~
The good news is my promotion is very very soon. Apparently, Jaba the Hut (the very very fugly District Manager)has given his blessing. Thank GOD he's Straight Ah! Office gossip...it works way better and faster than a memo! Ciao!


Wish I can be just like Merryl Streep in Devil Wears Prada sans the high heels, and women's clothing...gimme a Brioni suit any day!

Politics

After watching the very recent Republican debate for the Party nomination, I can't help but contrast the candidates between the candidates of both parties. shouldn't the nominees be a reflection of America as a whole with diverse candidates? I think so. You decide which political party is a TRUE reflection of America:
(I'll just list the candidates who DO stand a chance of winning.)

the Republicans:

Rudy Giuliani, former Mayor of the City of New York. "America's Mayor"


John McCain, Senator from the Great State of Arizona. Served in Vietnam War and was captured and tortured. ( He can't use his right hand due to the burns)



Mitt Romney, former Governor of Massachusetts. A Mormon. He used to be a Liberal, but is now a Conservative. Massachusetts is the ONLY State in the US that allows Gay Marriage. Yet, he claims he had nothing to do with it.


the Democrats:

John Edwards, former Senator of North Carolina. Former Attorney, and Hot Daddy, millionaire


Barak Obama, Senator Of Illinois, Mother was White and Father was Black. Law Degree from Harvard. Former Editor Harvard Law Review


Hillary Clinton, former First Lady, Senator of New York, more chica than Laura Bush can ever be...

There you have it. The Republicans have 3 White men. While the Democrats have an African American, A Woman, and a White man...hmmmm...which party is a better reflection of the diversity of America....Haller?!?!

P.S. Lookie Lookie! Marc Jacobs for Hillary! You know who I'm voting for...

To K.

It gets worse at night.
That's the time when the two of us usually talk and I was oftentimes half asleep.
You would tell your stories and I would pretend that I wasn't listening when in fact
I hung unto every word.
I miss those nights.
I also miss how you insist on "sleeping together" by not hanging up the phone.
We can hear each other sleep. While you were dreaming of happy thoughts, I would whisper,
"I love you"
on the phone.
I don't think you ever heard me.
I just didn't have the heart to say it when you were awake.
Would it have mattered?
Would things turn out diffrently between us?
I don't know.
Past is past.
What I do know is that I love you.
You grow fonder in my heart everyday.
I just wish you were mine. I just wish things could've turned out differently.
Is it too late?
Is it ever too late to say I'm in love with you?
I will never run out of hope.
I will always leave my heart ajar for you K.

Mood: Love sick

John LVoes Neverfull and his Lovelife SUCKS

I happened to glance at Chuvaness' blog and I saw a new, fantastic, wonderful, thing...the NEW NEVERFULL BAG Click CLick to see pictures...

(All photos Courtesy of Chuvaness)

I am thinking of getting myself one, but I probably will never have the chance to use it. I live in the homophobic SOUTH y'all know that...The next best thing is to give one to mommy dearest. She'll just adore it. Plus, her birthday's only two months away. I LoVe LoVe LoVe the lining!
This bag is so Chica. You can put anything in it...

~~~~~
I spent Wednesday night at my Auntie Ayres' vacation house in Citrus County, FL. Nothing is in Citrus County Florida except for orange groves and rednecks. I used to think that I liked country life, uhhm I really was thinking more along the lines of a hacienda like in Oro,Plata, Mata with maids and servants...hehe. Anyway Auntie parted with a piece of encouragement after I stated that I was never going to find anyone "You'll find the right person someday"...Person...not girl...I think Aunty has caught on. We were always very close and share much of the same traits (both of us are Virgos). She'll be turning the big 5-0 this September, but don't tell her that 'cuz she thinks she's only 40.
~~~~~

I finally got a chance to speak with K thorough ym. I told him that everything I said when I was drunk in San Francisco was true. He was shocked. Bah! He's moving to the US very soon and wants me to visit him. I said we'll cross the bridge when we get there. Am feeling love sick again...

KIMERALD

One of my Guilty Pleasures is Pinoy Showbiz. There. I admit it. One of the best love teams is KIMERALD: Kim Chiu and Gerald Anderson. The two of them are just so adorable! Bah! I know it won't last. It NEVER LASTS BETWEEN TWO REALLY GOOD LOOKING PEOPLE. That's a theory of mine anyway. I just love the song on this video by Itchyworms. Kinda spells out how I feel right now...



~~~~~~
the Emancipation of Thadie featured a poem by Pablo Neruda from a post by Life Funtastique. It made my eyes water and a tear fell. I remembered K. If it's meant to be, LoVe will find a way, right?!?!

~~~~~~
Congrats to Miss Japan!

Mood: Love sick

Inside My Bag

Bryan Boy has a site called insidemybag.com where you can submit a picture of your bag and its contents...

Here's my submission:



The Contents of my LV Abesses Messenger bag include:

1. LV Wallet with all the right plastics (I don't like to carry cash)
2. Orbitz gum to keep my mouth fresh
3. Ipod Nano
4. LV Sunglasses (a must here in Florida)
5.Bluetooth Headset
6.Cellphone
7. Hermes Un Jardin Sur Le Nil (always always smell good!)
8. Dior Clear Lip Gloss
9. Silver Swatch
10. Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez (pleasure reading)
11. Textbook: Through the Eyes of a Child (for my Summer Course entitled Early Childhood Literacy)

There you have it. That's what's in my bag as of now. Ciao!
~~~~~~~
P.S. I want to thank McVie for his comment. The entry was great! He's such a great writer! I have a thing for writers you know...j/k! Click Click for his post!

Books and Family

This blogging thing has been just very low on my priority. At first, I thought that I could squeeze it in on my already hectic hectic schedule. I promise that I won't give up. I want to do it. Gramps always said : "Never start what you can't finish." good old Gramps...I do miss him. But I don't think he'd take a liking to me dating other boys.

Now as all of you know very well I am not a writer. I AM A READER. I read everything and everything--from tabloids to classics. As of now, I am currently reading Jane Austen's Persuasion. It's probably my favorite out of all of her novels. Last Christmas, my bff from high school, the ever-brilliant Tom P. sent me a fairly large package of books. Among them was Jane Austen's Complete Works, Michael Chabon's Wonderboys, Jeff Lindsay's Darkly Dreaming Dexter, and Gabriel Garcia Marquez's (No he's not related to Joey or Melanie) Love in the Time of Cholera. Out of all of them, I decided to start reading Jane Austen. It's the thickest. It's the oldest.

As for a tagalog book, I would recommend Orosa-Nakpil, Malate by Louis Gangcuanco. He's gay I think. Anyway the story centers on Malate and gay youth in the Philippines. Very light and entertaining. I was surprised by it.

Now when I first got to the US the very very first book I read was Ramona Forever by Beverly Cleary. I was hooked. I read all of the Ramona series. I related so well. I was in the third grade and so was Ramona. I was out of place and so was she. I went on to read the Boxcar Children, the Hardy Boys and even Nancy Drew. OMG Nacy Freaking Drew...she was awesome.

Then it happened.

I found something that I got hooked on. Grandma's copies of Vogue magazine. I was introduced to a whole new world at the age of 13. Versace, Gucci, Dolce, Gabbana and Chanel. I began to look at the photos of models and beautiful beautiful things. I remember I asked grammy what's a "versayyycee" She replied: "It's 'Ver-sa-chi' dear". She was so chica, old grammy. She had Chanel sunglasses even when she was in the hospital at the end of her life... I miss her. She was the one who taught me des bonnes manieres, encouraged me to take French, and most of all, had me read Amy Vanderbilt's The Book of Etiquette. I have sooooo many fond memories of my Grandma Ellie. I wish she was still alive today with her Chanel sunglasses and with the scent of Chanel no. 5 surrounding her.