Cabin in the Woods: Spoilers! Read After Watching the Movie

Spoilers! Proceed at your own risk.

If you ever wanted to see a film that ends with two people, splattered in blood and guts, sharing a joint at the end of the world -- this is your movie.

Now there's a line I never thought I'd say. But seriously, how awesome was that scene? :-)

I have to say up front that I am not a big fan of horror movies, gore, or general campiness. Maybe it's because I came of age in an era before modern special effects. I mean seriously -- who really wants to see a creepy undead kid running around in a hockey mask? So while I was looking forward to this movie for a bit of light-hearted, cringeworthy fun with the husband and teens, I wasn't expecting much.

Who thought I would love it and confer a rare 5-star rating? Only Joss Whedon, the crazy man who made me fall insanely in love with cowboys in space, could've pulled that off.

The Cabin in the Woods sets up a typical cliche-ridden horror flick, the kind teenage guys can take their dates to for a quick scare. A group of college kids heading off for a weekend getaway at an isolated cabin in the woods. Loads of sexual tension. The creepy guy at the gas station at their last stop before reaching the cabin. The group's first foray into the lake. And of course they go into the basement. But we quickly see there's a twist -- it's kind of a cross between Friday the 13th/Texas Chainsaw meets The Truman Show. Unbeknownst to them, the five friends are having their vacation experience choreographed in a particularly perverse way as part of a Lovecraftian scheme to appease the ancient spirits.

One couple has even been drugged to ensure they'll fit tired horror movie tropes. The cute blond pre-med student is suddenly acting like a bimbo, and her bookish sociology major boyfriend has become an obnoxious alpha male, openly gloating over the hotness of his girlfriend. Go figure. :-)

The group also includes "the virgin," who isn't actually a virgin ("The Director" later comments "These days, we'll take what we can get"), her prospective boyfriend, and their stoner buddy with a penchant for conspiracy theories. The stoner, Marty, is at one point referred to as "the fool." But he's actually the cleverest of the lot, despite carrying an over-sized bong that put my misspent youth to shame and spouting a lot of pseudo-profundity that could only be the result of a THC-addled mind. Like the fools in Shakespeare's tragedies, he is the one who speaks the truth. After all, the thing about conspiracy theories? You're only crazy if you're wrong.



Eventually, as in a video game, the intrepid survivors stumble onto the final level and have the opportunity to face the perpetrator of their suffering. My son (and resident gaming expert) pointed out that some shots were reminiscent of third-person video games. There is also this wonderful scene in which we get a peek at myriad creatures held in reserve for unwary victims. In this world, with a nod to Orwell, everyone gets his personal Room 101. Oh, and I thought the ending rocked.
  
If you look at this movie as a satire of -- or more aptly as a homage to -- movies, video games, and the campy horror genre -- it works on that level. It's smart and well-crafted, and it  offers a wealth of entertaining references to games and films -- even I picked up on some of these, and I am neither a gamer nor a horror aficionado. By gleefully playing with technology vs. reality, and with its pastiche of horror movie and futuristic elements, self-referential humor, and video game imagery, this is also a fabulous tribute to postmodernism in film.

Yes, that is Marty's over-sized bong. Like Chekov's gun, it comes into play. ;-)

But The Cabin in the Woods doesn't stop at playing with its genre. Like a predator with its prey, the film toys with the material for a while before ripping it apart. In doing so, it creates something entirely new.

More importantly, it's a unique, imaginative, funny movie featuring intelligent dialogue and magnificent storytelling.  There's also enough gore to satisfy viewers who count slasher flicks among their guilty pleasures.  It's definitely one of the most original, entertaining movies I've seen in recent memory.

Other Fun Stuff: 

• Houston Press: Top 10 Cabin in the Woods movies 
• Unreality Mag: Concept Art for The Cabin in the Woods

Thor

   Haters can hate, but we fans know the truth -- Joss Whedon is the king. From the science fiction goodness of Firefly to the tongue-in-cheek tunes of Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Whedon never seems to step wrong.

   Despite the knowledge that Joss Whedon would be directing Thor -- along with, strangely, Kenneth Branagh -- I could not put aside my apprehension about this project. The trailer promised lots of yelling, million-dollar special effects, a dewy-eyed Natalie Portman, and Chris Hemsworth's abs.

   Wasn't I, after all, a girl more interested in Lars Von Trier and Ingmar Bergman than mainstream action films? Wasn't I a fan of Simon Rumley? (The fact that you have no idea who this is hoists my argument considerably.) Who didn't like X-Men: First Class even as others gushed about it?

   I'm pleased to report, despite my apprehension -- and, dare I say it, pretensions -- Thor exceeded my expectations considerably. Yes, there was dewy-eyed romance, bazillion-dollar special effects, and perfectly physiqued A-listers (all the things I hate in a movie -- bah Humbug!)

   It's actually one of the first big-budget action/adventure movies I've really enjoyed in a long time. At the heart of the story are two brothers, Thor (Hemsworth) and Loki (Tom Hiddleston), who live with their parents, the king and queen (Anthony Hopkins and Rene Russo) in the mythical land of Asgard.

   Loki wants the throne, and his brother stands in the way of him getting to it -- sound familiar? (i.e. Disney musical featuring an award-winning song performed by Elton John?) Anyway, Loki is allwed more depth than Scar, because what he really wants is his share of Dad's love, and he's always felt a little different from his royal family.

   Just as Loki is devious and back-handed, Thor has a superhuman dose of hubris. Let's consult the dictionary.

hubris- n. Overbearing pride or presumption: arrogance. 

   Yeah, that's Thor. He has so much hubris, in fact, that he refuses to back down from a fight, and in a roundabout way, Loki uses that against him, getting him kicked out of Asgard and cast into the human world.

   Enter a trio of meteorologists- Darcy (Kat Dennings), Erik (Stellan Skarsgård), and Jane (Natalie Portman), an attractive enough but frankly dull character who becomes Thor's love interest when he crashes to earth. Trapped in the human realm, Thor must learn humility; meanwhile Loki lies, cheats, and manipulates his way to the top, and Asgard suffers for it.

   Arrogance driving a hero towards ruin hasn't been done very often in superhero movies (besides the Godawful Spider-Man 3) so Thor's hubris proves a welcome motif. Meanwhile talented Londoner Tom Hiddleston gives a good performance as the tormented and sly Loki, making it difficult to tell whether Loki is emoting or merely affecting.

    Although the special effects are dazzling, they didn't get in the way of the story, although sometimes they distracted me. One complaint I have is that Jane was as boring a romantic interest as you could find, which is the fault of the script, not Natalie Portman, who proved she could act her ass off in Black Swan. Otherwise, do I think you should see it? Yes I do.