Sister Nancy Beth's week that wasn't + HANDJOBs across America

My blogger's block has been particularly fierce lately -- I blame fluoridation -- manifesting itself in the form of having nothing to say but with no desire to say it, a distinction that separates me from about 99% of my conservative blogging peers. In the meantime, while I've been out of commission, a week's worth of events have gone by unmarked, a situation in immediate need of rectifying.

Over at Michelle Malkin's blog, I see that Billy Joel has taken a break from his busy schedule of wrecking small cars and dating barely pubescent girls long enough to enrage one of her co-bloggers, a feat that, upon reflection, probably isn't that hard. Since Billy seems to be making the rounds in conservative blogosphere (and let's face it, I couldn't afford a Toto reunion on my dismal Blogads revenue), let's have him summarize this past week or so of Memeorandum highpoints and bring us back up to speed. Take it away, Billy:

Obama's got another Wright, except this time the guy is white,
Clinton's staying in the game in case they lynch Barack Hussein,
Scott McClellan Judas-kissed our president, now Dole is pissed,
I'm afraid of Rachael's scarf, that Starbucks harlot makes me barf.

We didn't sta-

Thank you, Billy, that will be all. The check is in the mail.

Before I went off track with this blogging business, I was honoring those Honest Americans Neutralizing the Deceptions that the Jihadist Obama Broadcasts, or HANDJOBs for short. As any red-blooded American can tell you, the only thing keeping Barack Hussein Obama from achieving electoral victory and establishing the Islezbofascist caliphate are the numerous HANDJOBs you find across the conservative blogosphere. Perhaps the most startling revelation about his diabolical plans comes from my Prayer Warriors CNSNews, who reveal that Obama wants people to have interracial gay sex in church:

In an Apr. 10 interview with The Advocate magazine, Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) said "homophobic" messages are coming from the pulpits of black churches because "most African-American churches are still fairly traditional in their interpretations of Scripture." In the same interview, Obama praised the controversial Rev. Jeremiah Wright, his former pastor and long-time spiritual adviser, for being on the right side of the homosexual debate. ...

"I mean, ironically, my biggest ... the biggest political news surrounding me over the last three weeks has been Reverend Wright, who offended a whole huge constituency with some of his statements but has been very good on gay and lesbian issues," Obama said. "I mean he's one of the leaders in the African-American community of embracing, speaking out against homophobia, and talking about the importance of AIDS."

I for one find it very telling that Obama's "spiritual" mentor hates America, loathes white people, yet loves homos. If I'm reading those signs correctly, that aligns him politically with the black homosexual supremacy movement. It does explain those tribal prints that make Rev. Wright look like Miriam Makeba, but it also invites a further, and more terrifying, question: Will President Obama mandate salt & pepper love between Americans of the same gender? Or will he sell us white people to Africa to serve as their homosexual sex slaves? MSM is so clearly in the pocket of the Obama campaign that they're going to pretend this issue doesn't exist, so it's up to us conservative bloggers to get the word out.

As a special treat to those of you sticking with me through this rough patch, I offer you this moment of Moral clarity from Varla Jean Merman: "Lesbians are sick. God says all gay people are, or why would he make anal so painful and smelly?" Praise Him!

Girls Will Be Girls: Girl Stalk from GWBG on Vimeo.

Deep red belles

When the dust finally settles on the 2008 presidential election, we'll look back upon it as the time when a ruthless, power-hungry bitch exploited every political asset her popular husband had in her craven quest for the White House, and permanently fractured her party in the process. I am speaking, of course, about Michelle Obama:

Michelle Vetoes Hillary
By Robert Novak

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Close-in supporters of Sen. Barack Obama's presidential campaign are convinced he never will offer the vice presidential nomination to Sen. Hillary Clinton for one overriding reason: Michelle Obama.

The Democratic front-runner's wife did not comment on other rival candidates for the party's nomination, but she has been sniping at Clinton since last summer. According to Obama sources, those public utterances do not reveal the extent of her hostility.

I'm getting the strongest sense of deja-vu. What is it with the Dems and their power-tripping wives? For the past 40+ years, they've been giving us nothing but rabid hyenas, rather than the sort of First Lady America would like to have a Xanax with. Talk about out of touch!

when I initiated my recognition of the finest HANDJOBs (Honest Americans Neutralizing the Deceptions that the Jihadist Obama Broadcasts) in the right blogosphere last week, it never crossed my mind that the Obama in question would be Michelle. However, diligent research on reliable websites has shown her to be a nasty piece of work who'd be more at home in some tyrannical country like France or Cuba than in a Freedom-loving democracy such as ours. Robert Novak's ace reportage only adds to that picture, so Mr. Novak, thank you for a HANDJOB well done. Praise Him!

A HANDJOB well done

I've been struggling with blogging lately, which leads me to think that I might need to initiate some sort of regularly appearing feature to take the guesswork out of what I'm posting about. As it is, I depend on my Prayer Warriors to Inspire me with their tales of victimhood by The Left. While I've gotten plenty of mileage out of secondhand (and firsthand!) Persecution, I'm afraid I may be getting jaded about how hard our lot in life as America's Christians truly is and really haven't been moved enough to write about it... which is probably just what those liberal traitors want. But fret not, Christians, because there's no way those moonbats are going to shut me down.

One thing that has invigorated me is the gusto with which my Prayer Warriors are going after Barack Hussein Obama. It's positively infectious, and fortunately not in that horrible liberal way that requires you to go to the free clinic for a shot afterwards. So it is with great fanfare that I am pleased to unveil my newest blogging initiative, Honest Americans Neutralizing the Deceptions that the Jihadist Obama Broadcasts, or HANDJOB for short, to recognize the excellent work conservatives are doing to keep Our Nation from following this pied piper into a state of Islezbofascist tyranny.

The best HANDJOB given to the conservative blogosphere this week comes from WorldNetDaily, who introduces us to yet another red who inculcated young Barack Hussein into the ways of World Communism, through the black art of poetry:

The man who heavily influenced U.S. Sen. Barack Obama during his growing years wrote poetry praising the aggression of communism, criticizing "Sweet Jesus" and mocking the traditional hymn "Onward Christian Soldiers," according to an advocate for media accuracy.

WND reported earlier when Cliff Kincaid wrote at Accuracy in Media about the link between Frank Marshall Davis, a member of the old Moscow-controlled Communist Party USA, and Obama, who cited a mysterious "Frank" in his book. ...

Kincaid, in a statement on his USA Survival organization website, said a full report will be released May 22 on how communist and socialist forces have influenced Obama.

"Herbert Romerstein, a former investigator for the House Committee on Un-American Activities, will present a detailed report on Obama's years in Hawaii, when he came into contact with and under the influence of a member of the Communist Party, Frank Marshall Davis," Kincaid said.

I was able to locate some of Comrade Davis' "poetry" on the internets, and I am appalled at its outward hostility to Freedom. First of all, it doesn't even rhyme, and secondly, not a single one of the three poems I glanced at begins with "There once was a man from [Red State locale]." This blatant disregard for America's great literary traditions reminds of another America-hater who made his living spewing vile words of calumny against Our Nation, Robert Frost. Frost's work embodies the most egregious excesses of the radical environmental movement, often lauding the hostile forces of nature over the benevolent forces of patriotism, and naturally The Left reveres him for it, even going so far as to have him let loose with one of his filthy rants at a presidential inauguration. I shudder at what we can expect on Obama's inauguration day.

Being a conservative blogger requires me to wear many hats -- military strategist, campaign consultant, forensics expert, economist, and now literary scholar. While there are times when I find all this work to be wearying, the satisfaction I get from knowing that I am helping restore America to her former greatness by calling Democrats traitors and fags makes it all worthwhile. Praise Him!