Bad Haiku about: Stripper Movies (V)

Everything in my DVR queue is so dire lately - The Walking Dead, The Following, Hannibal, The Americans, Bates Motel - that I needed something a little less death-y.  Now, Magic Mike does have its serious moments with drug use, drug dealing and some squalid behavior, but most the movie is just killing time until it can have another male stripper routine.  None of the guys can dance except Channing Tatum, but DAMN he's really, really good.  Dancing, not acting, I mean.  The other fellas are pretty enough to look at (and getting to see Joe Manganiello has got me jonesing for True Blood again) but they have no storyline or character development.  This is Tatum's show - and Matthew McConaughey's too, to a lesser extent.

And so, without further ado, here's the bad haiku about Magic Mike:

not much plot but mick

jagger wishes he had moves

like channing tatum

Bad Haiku about: Superhero Movies (IV)

This is the last superhero movie for a little while, I promise.  X-Men: First Class.  Here's the thing: when this came out, in June 2011, everyone was all "Ooooooh! It's a good X-Men movie!"  But then we got to see Captain America, and we'd already seen Thor and IM2, and I just don't think XM:FC holds up.  Despite the strong cast (Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmichael Fassbender), and the sleek retro-60s setting, it's too origin-y, jumping around the world for little short scenes and never giving the audience much time to connect with anyone.  Yes, it was TONS better than the more recent X-Men fare - and I loved the Wolverine cameo, with the one f-bomb of the whole movie - but I'm thinking the Avengers line is stronger.

if fassbender was

really in charge i'd go with

magneto for sure

Bad Haiku about: Superhero Movies (III)

Wow - Captain America: The First Avenger is really quite good.  Not only is it a decent movie in its own right (not just good for a comic book movie) but it's a solid origin tale too, showing us how Cap came to be but not getting bogged down in the mythology and giving our hero something to actually do, not just come to be.  However, as much as I liked the movie - and I think it is for sure the best of the three pre-Avenger flicks I've recently seen - I think I find the superhero at the center of the movie to be the least fun.  Steve Rogers is basically the anti-Tony Stark: innocent, decent, focused, ultra-patriotic, altruistic, stolid, non-ironic, non-sarcastic and with very little sense of humor.  He's a good man, sure, but he's not so much a fun man.  I get that they can't all be quipping wiseasses (it would be exhausting if they were) but I find Captain America just a bit boring - and I can't imagine that he and Iron Man are going to be BFFs in the upcoming Avengers flick.

his shield a beacon

all-american hero

can he tell a joke?

Bad Haiku about: Superhero Movies (II)

As you can see, I'm trying to work my way through the back catalog before Joss Whedon's The Avengers comes out, whenever that is.  So I watched Thor the other night:

sweet well-muscled oaf

ride the Rainbow Bridge 'cuz I

can do CPR

Am I on a roll or what?

Bad Haiku about: Superhero Movies (I)

Whoa - how'd that week get away from me?  I fully intended to post something sooner and instead I went and neglected this poor little blog.  Sorry!

In any event, it's time to start a new series (or mini-series, depends on how many I manage to do - for example, haven't gotten very far with my Read It Watch It Watch It Again project) called Bad Haiku about: [some subject].  In this case, it's about a superhero movie, Iron Man 2.  I'm doing this because I recently watched IM2 and really should do a post about it, since that's what this blog is all about, but I don't have much to say about it pluswhich everyone in the world has already watched the dang movie and what do I really have to say that's new?  Nothing but bad haiku, that's what.

frantic and busy

not as good as the first one

liked Mickey's whips tho'

That's some good stuff right there.