So busy

I don't mean to derail the True Blood momentum - and, in fact, I have watched the next two episodes and will get to recapping them soonish - but there's some other stuff I've read and watched recently that is pretty damn good.  (And, frankly, when compared to True Blood, very damn good.)  Take a gander and let me know if you've partaken of any of these.

• Black Mirror - A satirical British science fiction anthology series from the mind of Charlie Booker, Black Mirror is a dark and twisted treat.  Each episode - and there are only a few - has a different story and a different cast, and all of them involve technology that is not that far away from us right now.  As an X-Files, Fringe and Twilight Zone fan, as well as a fan of dystopian fiction, it's like this show was made for me.  It's got a great cast too, which made it great fun to recognize people (from Sense8, Agent Carter and the U.K. version of Skins, among others).  
• Howl's Moving Castle - I read the book.  I don't think I even realized there was a book and thought it was just the acclaimed Miyazaki animated movie.  But no, it was a book first, by British author Diana Wynne Jones.  It's a lightweight YA fantasy novel about Sophie, the eldest of three sisters and, in the world of fairy tales, thus doomed to a boring and unfulfilled life.  When Sophie inadvertently pisses off the Witch of the Waste, the Witch turns her into an old woman.  Her only chance at breaking the spell is the Wizard Howl, he of the titular moving castle.  Sophie insinuates herself into Howl's household and then the adventures begin.  Howl's Moving Castle is stuffed full of fire demons, jilted lovers, fancy outfits, animated scarecrows and plain old magic.  I got sucked in against my will and now I'm just going to have to move the movie up to the top of my Netflix queue.
• Doctor Who - It wasn't as though I was actively resisting Doctor Who, I just figured that I needed a chunk of time to watch a bunch of episodes in a row to really gain appreciation for it.  Everything I have read said that the 2005 revival, with Christopher Eccleston as the Ninth Doctor, is a good place to start - that those of us new Whovians don't really need to delve into the classic episodes.  I'm almost all the way through the series (I understand that Eccleston only played the Doctor for the one series) and I'm really quite liking it.  It has some fairly scary monsters for such a silly show (the Dalek, the Empty Child zombies, the Autons).  I have a big ol' girl crush on Bille Piper, who plays the Doctor's companion, Rose.  And Eccleston does a very nice job with the Doctor: he's got some darkness to him, this incarnation.  Good fun.  I'm anxious to finish out this series and see what fan-favorite David Tennant does with it.
• The Revolution was Televised  - This non-fiction book by Alan Sepinwall covers the shows that changed television into the amazing landscape that we now know it to be.  Sepinwall discusses in detail the following shows, which include several of my all-time favorites:  Oz (which I now have to watch), The Sopranos, The Wire (which I definitely have to watch), Deadwood (love love love), The Shield, LOST, Buffy the Vampire Slayers (!!!!!!!!!), 24, Battlestar Galactica (love love love), Friday Night Lights (love), Mad Men (it's on my list) and Breaking Bad (love love love).  Those are some seriously excellent shows right there.  The Revolution was Televised is easy to read, packed with information and interview tidbits and just fascinating to any of us who love good television.  Highly recommended.
• Mr. Robot - I also watched USA's Mr. Robot which is just great.  Rami Malek, as main guy Elliott Alderson, is phenomenal as the brilliant, damaged untrustworthy narrator.  The plot moves along quickly - a hacker group, fSociety, is looking to take down the largest corporation (Evil Corp) in the world, thus fomenting chaos - but it's the character beats that are the most compelling.  Great stuff and a wonderful change of pace from USA's usual blue sky programming.

Quickies

From time to time I get too lazy to write full (or even mini) reviews for the stuff I'm reading and watching, and resort to a post giving you a paragraph-sized taste of recent acquisitions. This is one of those times.

Books

Well-Schooled in Murder - Elizabeth George. In this third volume of George's Inspector Lynley British murder mystery series, the aristocratic Lynley and his not-quite-middle-class detective sergeant Barbara Havers go back to school, investigating the disappearance of a scholarship boy at a rundown boarding school. The missing persons case soon enough turns into a murder investigation, and rumors of bullying, miscenegation, abuse and deviance begin to swirl. Havers practically welcomes the sordidness of it all as it distracts and distances her from the increasing squalor of her own home life.

Half the Blood in Brooklyn - Charlie Huston. In this third volume of Huston's hard-boiled noir vampire Joe Pitt Casebooks series, Joe finds his life even more stressful than usual. His girlfriend, Evie, is on the fast track to dying from AIDS and he is tormented by the thought that although he could save her life by infecting her with the Vyrus that infects him, and he doesn't want to inflict his kind of life on her. Also, he gets mixed up with a family of vampire sideshow freaks and their Orthodox Jewish cousins ... who are also vampires. It's another brutal, bloody, funny and heart-wrenching visit to Joe's world - and you definitely don't want to live there.

The Umbrella Academy: Apocalypse Suite - I think I heard about this entry into the modern superhero comic genre over at Whitney Matheson's Pop Candy blog (USA Today). Written by the lead singer of My Chemical Romance, Gerard Way, and illustrated by artist Gabriel Ba, this TPB collects the first six issues in which we are introduced to the Umbrella Academy: seven sort of supernatural pseudo-siblings, spontaneously born to unrelated and hitherto unimpregnated women, and raised by a monocle-wearing space alien. The cool thing about this book is that it's not your typical origin story. We see the instance of their birth; then we see an incident in their youth where, acting together, they save Paris from a zombie-robot-historical figure; then we jump ahead 20 or so years, to where some of the siblings have died, and some are estranged, and the UA has to reunite to save the world again. There are many unanswered questions and I'm hoping that further stories go back and answer some of them, because now I'm intrigued.

Television

Mr. Mouse and I have added Justified to our regularly scheduled DVR menu. After the first two episodes, I like it (but don't love it) and Mr. Mouse grudgingly likes it. For Deadwood fans - which we both are - Timothy Olyphant is just revisiting his Bullock character with a modern setting: he's an efficient lawman in a cowboy hat with violence and anger issues, dealing with bad guys for whom he has a fair amount of respect, and his personal life is complicated by two women. At least this time the writers have given him a sense of humor. Mr. Mouse and I mostly take issue with the fact that he drives a Lincoln Towncar - he's in Kentucky, for crying out loud - give the man a truck.

I've started recording/watching Flashforward again but am finding it highly dissatisfying. Thank god Dominic Monaghan is there as the amoral scientist-playboy - he is the only one who looks like he's having any fun at all. I've got V in the queue, and soon will add ABC's new Happy Town - which looks like it may turn out to be another painful Harper's Island experience. Thankfully True Blood S2 should be coming out on DVD in the next couple of months and I'll get something worthy of recapping again.

And - if you want proof that I ever do things outside of the house (besides going to movies - I haven't done that since last August), feel free to check this out.

This just proves I have fantastic taste

Have you all seen this list: Pajiba's "Best 20 Seasons of the Past 20 Years"? [Ed. note: technically the question mark should be inside the end quotes - I know this - but the title of the list is not in fact a question and I didn't want to confuse the hoi polloi.]

Of the twenty television series on this alphabetically listed list, I adore (and have gone on at some length about my adoration of same) numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 11, 17 and 20. That's half of them. I have watched in some seriousness (but was never completely smitten with) numbers 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 and 18. And I have 5 and 15 sitting in my DVD queue. The only two shows on the list that I have no connection with whatsoever are the Larry Sanders Show (#9) and Murder One (#10) - apparently I should check these out.

I'm going to take this as yet another sign that I prefer to watch the good stuff ... and should keep writing about it.

Vindication is mine!

Thanks to Whedonesque for giving me the heads-up about this list: Empire Online's 50 Greatest Television Shows of All Time. I will grant you that this list seems to have been compiled by British sci-fi fanboys (Deep Space Nine but no NYPD Blue? Come on!) but if you take the list completely out of context and just as is, it justifies my taste in television. I present as evidence the following:

#2 (of all time, mind you) is my beloved Buffy the Vampire Slayer, right behind The Simpsons

#5 is Lost

#9 is The X-Files

#13 is the fabulous new Battlestar Galactica (which I'll recap when I have a spare decade)

#14 is Firefly - "... it had Nathan Fillion, whose presence officially makes anything 27% better."

#15 is Heroes

#21 is Angel (it seems as though some Whedon-fans compiled this list, no?)

#31 is Deadwood - "The word fuck and its derivatives are used 2,980 times throughout the show's three seasons." That's an average of 82.7 times per episode. Hee.

#48 is Veronica Mars

Deadwood recap - “Tell Him Something Pretty” (S3E12)

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Deadwood recap - “The Catbird Seat” (S3E11)

The dropping: According to wikipedia, sitting in the "catbird seat" means having "an enviable position, often in terms of having the upper hand or greater advantage in all types of dealings among parties." Well, it seems like Hearst has that here: he's got way more gunmen than Al does; he's got ringers in to fix the sheriff vote against Bullock; and he's intimidating the hell out of Alma to get her to sell her gold claim to him. Al hopes the 150 secret Chinese laborers Wu has up his sleeve will help even the odds a little. And Trixie uses every weapon in her arsenal (and I do mean every) to avenge a friend.

LANGUAGE, LANGUAGE - BUT NOT AS BAD AS SOMETIMES

Bullock is meeting with Sol and Charlie (and Trixie) at the hardware store to lay out the requirements for summoning him back from Sturgis, where he and Harry are shortly headed for campaigning – apparently Deadwood is a county and not just a camp? Al, having just arisen from his bed of fornication with Dolly, sees this assemblage of persons and is outraged that Bullock et al. would meet without him. He heads over to the hardware, sniping at the whore: “Just because I like you hefty doesn’t mean you couldn’t lose a few pounds.” Merrick accosts him en route with a new article to read: the article insinuates that Hearst was behind the attempt on Alma Garrett-Ellsworth’s life. While he is perusing the article, Al gets a telegram from Blazenoff, the subject of which pisses him off even further: the telegram is from Hawkeye, claiming to have already hired 23 guns who are on their way to the camp. Al doesn’t believe that enough time has passed for that incompetent Hawkeye to do such a thing.

At the hotel, E.B., still in his back room, finally wipes Hearst’s spittle off his face and vows to fuck Hearst up. And then, ugh - why are they wasting my time with these actors when this is the penultimate episode? I can’t be bothered with any of it.

Al and Jack Langrishe meet each other in the thoroughfare and Jack accompanies his friend to the hardware store. The group decides that any sort of further Hearst shenanigans will be enough to summon Bullock’s return. Uneasy, Bullock rides off to Sturgis. In the meantime, a new Pinkerton rides in to let Hearst know that his second batch of “bricks” has arrived. Hearst asks if the Pinkerton knows where to find the tent of “the man [he wants] killed first.” The man answers in the affirmative and heads off to do the boss’s bidding.

Aw, it’s Ellsworth and his dog! Ellsworth feeds the dog as he tries to figure out how to continue his dealings with Alma and Sophia. They are so cute (Ellsworth and the dog, I mean, not Alma and Sophia). I must say, however, that I DO NOT LIKE HOW OMINOUSLY THEY ARE FRAMED IN THE TENT OPENING. This show is amazing with story, rich dialogue and great characters, but subtle it ain’t. The dog hears something and looks to the back of the tent. Ellsworth looks too: it’s the goddamn Pinkerton, aiming a gun right at him. Ellsworth takes a deep breath (as do I), knowing what’s coming (as do I), and the goddamn Pinkerton shoots him in the head. Ellsworth falls to the ground, dead, and my heart is broken.

At the Gem, Al is trying to read the rest of the morning paper in peace but Merrick is hovering, hoping for more feedback on his article. Annoyed, Al tells him the article is plenty good and will do the job of irritating Hearst until he can figure out whom to shoot at next. Merrick asks if Al has any idea who that might be and Al says no, but he guesses they’ll all find out soon.

The folks are gathering in Sturgis, awaiting the sheriff candidates’ speeches. Jarry is there, keeping an eye on things. Harry makes note of all soldiers who are bivouacked in town; Bullock hears him, and goes to speak with one of the soldiers loitering about. It’s Sark from Alias/Adam from Heroes! So darn cute! Bullock asks him why the soldiers are here since there are no Sioux about. Sark/Adam asks if he should go find some and bring them back with him. Bullock is annoyed at not getting a straight answer and snarls, again: “Why are you here?” Another soldier (not so cute) pipes up: “We’re here to vote. Gonna exercise a franchise.” Bullock figures it out quickly: “They told you yet who you’re going to vote for?” Nope, not yet.

Back in Deadwood, a wagon is bringing Ellsworth’s body through the camp to Doc Cochran. Alma sees it and gasps, crying. She drags Charlie over to see; Al, on his balcony, also sees the wagon go by. Ian McShane’s expression here is just lovely: anger, concern and sadness, all in a split second. Across the way, a smug Hearst is noticing everyone’s reactions. Al hurries downstairs and tells his boys that Hearst has let his dogs loose - time to wire the sheriff. Charlie brings the sobbing Alma back into the Gem; she shouts that she wants her child and he runs off to fetch Sophia. “Oh, what did I do to him?” she cries, “What have I done to that poor man?” Al thinks they should go upstairs and get her a drink, saying, not unkindly, “You didn’t fuckin’ shoot him. And don’t be goin’ off into fuckin’ hysterics, okay?” This cuts through Alma’s shock and she is able to take his arm to go upstairs. I really like how Al and Alma interact together.

Outside, Trixie sees the wagon with Ellsworth’s body go by, her face screwing up with rage and sorrow. E.B. observes her from the hotel. She pulls her little derringer from her stocking and rips open her bodice. Breasts bared, she storms into the hotel and E.B. totally redeems himself for all his past weaseling. He absolutely gets what Trixie is doing: he understands that her breasts are bare so people won’t notice her face or the gun in her hand. He starts to make a fuss of his own, distracting Hearst’s men in the lobby so Trixie can get by them unnoticed.

Upstairs, Trixie pounds on the door, calling for Hearst. When he opens the door, she’s got her skirt hiked up and he can’t help but stare at her nekkid lady parts. As he’s distracted, she shoots him with her tiny gun, but only hits him in the shoulder – not the eye, as I’d been hoping. He’s still hurt and slams the door in her face. Upon hearing the gunshot, the Hearst lackeys rush upstairs as she comes down, unimpeded. E.B. continues his show, calling out, “Did someone interrupt your rendezvous? Did someone else attack him?” and Trixie gives him a grateful look. As she leaves the hotel, however, E.B. can’t quite help himself: “Cover those things!” Hee. She does cover up and drops her derringer into a water trough so CSI: Deadwood can’t find it. Crying again, Trixie goes straight to the hardware store where she insists that Sol kill her, saying she shot Hearst but she doesn’t think she killed him: “If you don’t kill me, he’ll do for us all.” Sol hustles her over to Al’s by the back way.

In Sturgis, the telegram makes its way to Bullock. He stops mid-speech, reads it, and heads out, barely pausing to snarl at Jarry on his way by.

E.B. runs into the Gem, shouting that Hearst is dead! or at least shot by Trixie’s hand! Al doesn’t for a minute allow himself to believe that Hearst has been killed. Indeed that man is not: he is walking wounded down the sidewalk, heading to Doc’s. Al and E.B. see him go by and E.B. says, “I’m a dead man.” “You ain’t gonna be alone,” says Al. Sol finds Al and tells him that Trixie is in the back room of the saloon. “Your idea, bringin’ her here?” asks Al. “My idea, after she did what she did. Was that your idea?” barks an anxious Sol. Al nods pacifyingly, “All right,” and goes back to see Trixie, greeting her with an affectionate obscenity. (Folks, now we’ve come full-circle because in the very first episode of this brilliant show, we were introduced to Trixie after she has shot a man with her little derringer and Al has to fix it. That time he fixed it with a boot on her neck, but I think he’s experienced a little personal growth since then.) Charlie rushes into the Gem with Sophia in his arms. As he takes her up to her mother, everyone follows him up. Soon there is quite an enormous crowd in Al’s office, watching Alma and Sophia cry.

Joanie and Jane checking in over at the school, but Martha can’t tell them anything other than Charlie came to collect Sophia. They decide to stand guard over the schoolchildren, just in case. At Doc’s, Ellsworth’s body lies there as Doc attempts to dig the bullet out of Hearst’s shoulder. Hearst is toughing it out with a bottle, wishing Doc would use a little less enthusiasm. Hearst tells Doc that he had no ill will toward Ellsworth (liar!) and that he suspected that the bare-breasted woman who shot him was likely some “baud” with an affection for Ellsworth who suspected him (Hearst) of murdering her favorite john. Seems like Trixie’s “distract ‘em with nekkid lady bits” ploy worked. When Doc finally retrieves the bullet, he recognizes it as one from Trixie’s gun – because, remember, he dug her bullet out of the head of the fellow she shot in S1E1.

Al is translating the situation for us. If Alma wishes to keep her gold claim, she’ll have to leave camp for her own protection (N.B. her near shooting and Ellsworth’s murder). However, if she wishes to stay in camp, she’ll have to sell her gold claim to Hearst so as not to incur further losses to family and friends. Then Bullock comes in and Al quickly brings him up to speed. Bullock rushes up the stairs to Alma, Al snarkily reminding him twice that the child is with her (“I fuckin’ heard you,” grunts Bullock). Jack asks Al if the sheriff mightn’t offer a reason to Alma to sell her claim to stay in camp. Al replies that “reason ain’t his long suit” and the two cronies have a drink. In Al’s office, Bullock gives both Alma and Sophia a big hug. Doc comes to report on Hearst’s take on what happened to him. He wants to talk with Alma so Al interrupts the tender scene in his office and Alma comes out. She sits with Doc and it’s a long scene that I don’t really understand in which they discuss about the purported circumstances under which Sophia was found. The gist is that Doc wants Sophia to be able to say goodbye to Ellsworth and Alma finally agrees.

Everyone else just hangs out in the saloon, then, waiting for whatever will happen next. Charlie doesn’t know what to do with himself and hovers uncomfortably on the stairs for a while until Jack makes an overture, offering him some whiskey. Charlie then sits at a table with Dan and Adams. They offer him a drink and tease each other a little, and thus bridges are built. Too late, of course, because this damn show is almost over.

As Alma, Sophia and Bullock come downstairs, Al’s brain is still churning. He reasons that if Hearst really wanted Alma dead, she’d be dead. Since her husband has been killed to try to force her to sell, for the time being – until she refuses Hearst again - both she and Sophia are probably safe. Alma comes up and shakes Al’s hand, thanking him. He’s a little discomfited but still gracious. He sends Bullock off to keep watch over Alma, saying that he thinks her life is safe but that Hearst will try to get her to sell. Also, he warns the sheriff against jeopardizing the “tranquility of [his] own hearth.” God, I hope Bullock listens. I hate the way he gets all moony over Alma.

Jack compliments Al on the dexterity of his machinations but Al says he wishes he had Hearst’s superiority at arms. In his hotel room, Hearst is watching out the window, noting that the camp is galvanized for action. He muses that he “ought not to work in these places. [He] was not meant to crush his own kind,” only to crush the color out of the earth. Well then, asshole, stop it! I am totally holding a grudge for Ellsworth. I loved Ellsworth.

A-ha! Mr. Wu has arrived to speak with Al. Al tells him that he wants Wu to go to Custer City and bring back the 150 Chinese men stashed there back to Deadwood. Wu is upset that Al has made him wait so long – he’s been ready for action for ten days. Al apologizes (!!) and promises to give Wu’s Chinese men guns so they can fight against Hearst. Wu thinks this is fantastic and heads off to Custer City, saying “Wu big man,” under his breath as he goes. The episode ends with a close-up of Al, having a drink at his bar, gazing out into the thoroughfare and pondering the battle to come.

Next episode/previous episode

Deadwood recap - “A Constant Throb” (S3E10)

The dropping: Someone shoots at Alma and everyone in the camp who we like rushes to her aid (by which I mean practically every character except Cy, E.B. and Hearst). Al figures out that the shooting was never intended as murder but instead as intimidation tactics and a scheme to flush two of Hearst's particular enemies - Ellsworth and Bullock - into the open. A message is sent to Cheyenne to hire some guns to try to even the odds. Best of all, we get to see the old Al again, the Al of action and not just puppet-master Al, as he ruins yet another carpet in his office while opening the throat of one of Hearst's Pinkertons.

THAT'S RIGHT, FOLKS: IT'S DEADWOOD TIME,

SWEARWORD CENTRAL!

Doc is tending to a petulant Cy, pissed off because Cy broke open his wound again when it was healing. Cy says he was examining himself for pus; Doc calls bullshit and I think it happened when he was intimidating Joanie Stubbs the other night. Jack Langrishe swings by Shaunessey’s boarding house looking for the woman who danced like a gypsy at his Amateur Night. He hires her into his theater company. Again, why are we wasting time with these actors with only two episodes left after this one? As it turns out, this other woman, Mary (Langrishe’s lover? another member of the theater troupe?) whom we’ve seen occasionally around camp, does not like that he’s hired this new girl and she decides to leave camp, upsetting Langrishe. Also, the other two women in the theater company don’t like the new hire much either. Who cares? Aunt Lou serves a meal to Hearst and Jarry; Hearst tells her he’ll let her know when the freight office has received Odell’s remains. Aunt Lou sort of grunts at him.

Meanwhile, Alma Garrett-Ellsworth is walking down the thoroughfare to open the bank for the day when suddenly she is shot at! One bullet hits in front of her and another hits the wall behind her. Both Charlie and Al rush to her aid, scooping her up and into safety at the Gem, telling her to “keep her fuckin’ head down.” Al orders Adams to stand guard at the schoolhouse in case someone tries for Sophia. He tells him to send Trixie to the Gem too. Hearst, Jarry and E.B. stroll out onto the boardwalk to take in the excitement. Looking over his shoulder at Hearst, Al assures him that Alma is fine and that this is not out of the ordinary – and Hearst himself is perfectly safe.

Al sits a gasping Alma in a chair inside the Gem and barks more orders: Charlie is to send a telegram to Bullock (who is off campaigning outside of camp?) asking him to return at once, but to use generalities otherwise “that maniac will come back shootin’.” Johnny shows Charlie the back way to the telegraph office. Al asks Alma if they might review the recent events in his office out of the interested eyes of the topless Gem whores (and anyone else who might be snooping around). Unable to catch her breath, Alma says that she needs to remove her corset. Al, with a gesture to said topless whore, says no one in his joint will mind that sort of thing. Alma visibly stiffens her spine and goes upstairs with Al.

Al pulls out the good whiskey and pours both of them a shot, hoping to snap the shocked Alma out of her daze. It works. Trixie arrives, looking absolutely gorgeous for a change – sleeping with Sol must agree with her - and Al leaves Alma in her capable hands. He sends someone to fetch Tom Nuttal and tells Dan, “Cheyenne’s off!” Dan is pissed (“Pack, unpack, re-pack!”): he’s all gotten decked out in his best clothes for the trip. Placatingly, Al tells him to send money to bring whomever he was going to fuck [in Cheyenne] here. Dan grumbles that “who I was going to fuck won’t come by coach – makes her puke.” Aw – does Dan have a girlfriend? Next, Al sends Dan to fetch Ellsworth, knocking him out and dragging him here unconscious if that’s what it takes to make him come quietly. Al doesn’t want Hearst (assuming that’s who had Alma shot at) to know that the attempted shooting had any effect on anyone.

In Hearst’s rooms, Jarry (ugh) is rambling on and annoying Hearst to no end with his weaselly sucking-up. At one point, Hearst even thinks Jarry is hitting on him – which doesn’t go over well at all. All this yammering is boring. I think Jarry is pretty much just saying that Yankton will back Hearst’s play. Hearst says fine, now go the hell back to Yankton and make sure the elections go the way I want. Hopefully that will be the last we ever see of that twit Jarry.

Joanie watches as Charlie relieves Adams in the guarding of the schoolhouse. She likes seeing him there better than Adams. After a bit, she and Jane go and relieve Charlie in case he’s needed elsewhere. They’re very cute, standing there with Jane’s rifle and Joanie’s little derringer. Richardson shows up at the Gem with a note pinned to his shoulder: E.B. wants to know what’s going on. Al tells the messenger to tell his boss “nothing’s going on.” Richardson thinks he can remember that. When Tom Nuttal arrives, Al says he figures they’ll all just hunker down for a while and pours Tom a shot.

Hearst is giving Barrett his orders: take Ellsworth out when he shows up all outraged at the attempt on his wife’s life, but keep the main force in reserve for Bullock when he shows up all outraged at the attempt on his former mistress’s life. Barrett says okay and leaves.

Back at the Gem, the fellas are brainstorming. Al thinks that this near-shooting of Alma was the same thing as Hearst setting Captain Turner to fight Dan: to scare people because if he’d meant to lay waste to the camp with his amassed forces, he’d have done so already. Dan thinks that this means perhaps he should actually go to Cheyenne to hire back-up. Al says no, he doesn’t want to fight 25 v. 4, Dan being his fifth and worth ten of any of Hearst’s men. The sheriff is “no fuckin’ slouch [with a gun] either, if he ever gets back.” They finally decide to send a telegram to Hawkeye (Al’s unreasonable distaste for Adams’s friend notwithstanding) to hire the Cheyenne guns. Al then decides that Alma should complete her walk to the bank to show Hearst she is not intimidated.

Ellsworth finally comes to in the Gem’s back room from where Dan put him, knocked on the head, unconscious and tied up: “What the fuck’d you hit me for?” Dan tells him the story, starting with, “Well, there was some completely no fuckin’ damage done gunfire taken at Miz Ellsworth, fore and aft.” Ellsworth freaks out, shouting that he’ll kill that cocksucker Hearst. Dan calms him, pointing out that Hearst’s shooter missed Alma on purpose to bring Ellsworth (and probably Bullock) running so’s Alma’s two men could be killed. As Al will put it shortly: Alma was bait, not quarry. I am impressed that Ellsworth can calm down enough to see the logic in this.

Al proffers his finish-your-walk idea to Alma. She is at first terrified at the prospect, but then comprehends Al’s point. I may not like Alma very much but she’s pretty fearless when it comes right down to it, I’ll give her that. She meets Ellsworth downstairs at the Gem as she gets ready to finish her walk. She requests that her husband join her later at the bank, asking him not to go after Hearst. Once again, he is no match for her. She walks out, head held high. Al and Ellsworth watch her from the Gem’s front door; Hearst watches her from his perch on the porch; the Pinkertons watch her from the boardwalk. As she makes her way down the thoroughfare, she is slightly comforted seeing Adams, Dan, Johnny, Charlie and Tom Nuttal all keeping an eye on her too from various vantage points in the camp. She makes it to the bank uneventfully.

Hearst is pouty about this and sends Barrett to Al with a note. The note basically says, in fairly innocuous language, that Hearst thanks Al for his rescue of Alma and he offers some of his men to help guard her until the sheriff gets back. After reading the note, Al invites Barrett up to his office while he composes a response. Dan and Adams trade teensy little smiles as Barrett goes upstairs.

They chat a bit, Al even bringing out the good whiskey. Barrett tells Al that he’s not afraid of him and that Al “don’t seem halfway like a halfway bad fuckin’ person.” But he still doesn’t want to talk about his employer. Fair enough, says Al. And, in retaliation for being called a halfway nice guy, Al proceeds to kick Barrett many, many times in the balls and stomps on his ribcage a whole bunch for good measure. Actually, it’s in retaliation for shooting at Alma, beating up Merrick and harassing Wu in the thoroughfare. Barrett becomes less than a bad ass very quickly once Al starts beating him: he tells Al that Hearst has wired for still more Pinkertons.

Then, for some reason, we have to see Cy “interview” and hire a new Bella Union whore. She’s fancy-looking and he is, as expected, extremely unpleasant to her. Why even bother with this scene? Let’s get back to Al!

Ah, now that’s better. Barrett is lying on the floor, whimpering, while Al has a drink. Barrett says that Hearst already has twenty-five Pinkertons here, twenty-five more are coming, and there are about 100 men up at Hearst’s mining operations, ready to move on the camp. “Before or after the elections?” queries Al but Barrett says he doesn’t know. Al places Barrett’s pistol on a chair next to the injured man and walks out onto his balcony, observing Hearst across the way on his own balcony, looking impatient. Al goes back inside and slaps Barrett’s reaching hand away from the pistol. He calls for Dan and Johnny and then, without ceremony, he cuts Barrett’s throat – lots of bloody and gargle-y sound effects (Mr. Mouse has to look away). Al goes back out onto his balcony and cannot resist poking at an agitated Hearst, telling the other man that Barrett had delivered his message to Al and then scurried out the back of the Gem, heading to Bismarck. Al puts it on a little thick and I think Hearst, not a stupid man, figures out what happened to his man. Al walks back inside, points at Barrett’s body and grunts, “Wu.” Dan and Johnny are wrapping the body in the carpet it is lying on, Johnny noting that “This is the longest a rug has lasted so far.” Hee. And no kidding: Al hasn’t done a spot of decent violence since S3E2.

Bullock comes galloping back into camp and finds Charlie working on the packages at his freight office. The sheriff wants to know what is going on; Charlie looks like he’s not quite sure how to tell him.

Oh lord. Normally I like Jane and Joanie together but now there is a nearly FOUR minute scene whereby Jane rambles and rambles about some stupid dream she had. I can’t even begin to tell you anything about the dream because I am so bored with it. Focus, Milch!

Sol has joined the Bullocks for dinner. While Martha serves, it looks as though the sheriff is having some sort of a fit. He is twitching and bulging out his eyes (more than usual), clenching and pounding his fists on the table, making little grunts and moans. Clearly, he’s trying to keep a grip on his temper over what happened to Alma. Sol again demonstrates his genius at managing his friend: he starts telling him about some reordering and restocking scheme he’s come up with for the hardware store. It does the trick, distracting Bullock and bringing him out of his fugue of temper. Martha looks gratefully at Sol then folds her hands, saying to both of them, “Let’s give thanks.” Bullock stares at her briefly before bowing his head.

Next episode/previous episode

Never say nigh

I had hoped to get the next-to-next-to-last Deadwood episode recapped for y'all today but I ended up having to work today *SIGH* and then this weekend is turning out busier than anticipated. So I hope to have it done for you Monday night at the latest. I do wonder, however, if I'm not subconsciously dragging my feet because for me the end of this amazing show is nigh, and I don't want nigh. Nigh gives me sad.

Deadwood recap - “Amateur Night” (S3E9)

The dropping: With way more fanfare than probably necessary, the camp kids get to move into their new Joanie-sponsored schoolhouse. Hearst's small army of hired Pinkertons begin their campaign to beat down the camp, including a completely outrageous (but fairly minor, all things considered) beating of poor Merrick. Mr. Wu, however, is holding Hearst's new Chinese labor force outside camp until he learns what Al wishes him to do. The Earp brothers clear out of camp after Morgan shoots a Pinkerton that had been harassing him; Bullock gives them a free pass in no small part because they've inadvertantly helped him chip away at Hearst's armed forces. The biggest news of the day is Jack Langrishe's wildly successful Amateur Night which draws practically the entire camp as an audience, and many more participants than I would have expected.

It’s morning and the Bella Union whores kick the Earp boys out of bed. In a more lawful union, Bullock makes Martha memorize the combination to the hardware store’s safe where all their money and assets are kept, just in case something happens to him in the days ahead. She’s taking the children to the new schoolhouse later today and he promises to walk with her. At the new schoolhouse, Joanie is fretting. Also, whoever built the schoolhouse built it around a live tree and put a treehouse in to boot. I never in my life had a classroom that cool – lucky little Deadwood kids. In a less wholesome setting, Hearst is instructing the head of his newly arrived hooligans on what he expects out of them. (The DVD says this guy’s name is “Barrett” so I’ll go with that rather than calling him “that guy” for the rest of the recap.) For now, Hearst wants general intimidation of the campfolk and serious intimidation of Merrick for embarrassing him in the paper.

At the Gem, Al and his crew are grousing and trying to come up with options. For some reason unbeknownst to me, since Hearst’s hooligans appear to be of the Pinkerton variety, hiring guns out of Cheyenne is now off the table. Dan wishes he’d gone when he had the chance. Al wonders if, “Question extant: ‘til reinforced, can we learn the ways of church mice?” Out in the thoroughfare, while some of the Pinkertooligans harass Mr. Wu, Al sends Adams to see if he can suss out if Cy Tolliver knows anything about the new arrivals. As it turns out, if Cy knows anything – and Adams thinks he doesn’t – he ain’t talking.

Jack Langrishe breakfasts with Hearst at the hotel; they observe Barrett crushing a poor fellow’s foot as part of his general intimidation of the camp scheme. Langrishe also presents himself as neutral with regard to Al when he’s with Hearst, and vice versa. Hearst isn’t thrilled about it – he wants inside information on his nemesis - but his back, thrilled with the wonders Langrishe has worked thus far, begs him to patience. The N.G. brings Steve the Vegetable to Tom Nuttal’s bar and, over Harry’s protests, dumps him there, leaving money for drink and clean-up. He’s had enough of playing nursemaid to this horrible white man. Trixie drops by the bank to deposit twelve dollars into her account; she and Alma seem to have made peace with each other. Langrishe makes the bank his next stop after breakfast: to deposit $4,000; and to borrow $4,000. When Alma questions him on his tactics, he says that since theater people are seen as transient, this will give him some roots here in camp. On his way out, he mentions that tonight his theater troupe is sponsoring an Amateur Night.

More Pinkertons ride into town as the Earp boys load up their wagon with their newly-purchased logging equipment. One of the Pinkertons taunts Morgan Earp, calling him “Hiram” (what?) and being generally nasty. Morgan trades some disgusting taunts with him until Wyatt manages to get them out of camp without incident. At the Gem, Mr. Wu is drawing his pictures in anticipation of his meeting with Al. His artistic skill seems to have gotten better over the last two seasons. Johnny is very interested in the drawings and thinks he can figure out what Wu wants to say. Dan scoffs – everyone knows Johnny’s too dumb for that. Adams returns to report his conversation with Cy to Al and, in the midst of it, they notice Commissioner Jarry riding back into camp. Great – that’s all Deadwood needs is Yankton stirring up more hornets’ nests. Joanie loiters and flutters in front of the Chez Amie until Martha notices her. Martha also notices how nervous the former madam is and invites her to walk with her and the children to the new schoolhouse. Joanie is taken aback at first but acquiesces gratefully.

Uh-oh. Barrett comes into Merrick’s newspaper office and, pretending to be drunk, immediately starts insulting and then beating Merrick bloody. He leaves and Blazenoff rushes to his friend, apologizing for his uselessness. That Barrett is a bad man. Back at the Gem, Al does not have much patience for Wu just now. Wu wants clarification as to if Al and Hearst are united or at odds, and then starts babbling about Custer and 150 men. “[Custer’s] dead, Wu!” shouts Al, super-testily. But – glory of glories – Johnny figures it out. “Custer City?” he asks Wu, who excitedly motions in the affirmative. Johnny spells it out for Al for the first time in his life: “Wu is holding his 150 men outside of Custer City because you and Hearst are on the outs.” Annoyed that he didn’t figure it out himself, Al decks poor Johnny, knocking all his working brain cells out to the floor, and then congratulates Wu on his clever, cautionary thinking.

Commissioner Jarry and Adams share a bottle at the Gem. There’s a lot of talk but it boils down to Jarry wanting the skinny on the camp’s situation. Adams extorts him for $500, which Jarry hands over after getting distracted by a Gem whore’s naked boob. I’m not sure what the commissioner gleaned from this exchange, but he seems to be satisfied. Upstairs in Al’s office/room, Doc tends to Merrick (broken ribs, contusions on belly and face) and Al decides that this Barrett was mostly likely acting on orders from Hearst. The next scene confirms Al’s theory as Barrett reports back to his boss on his beating of Merrick. Gratified, Hearst chuckles evilly.

It’s now afternoon as the Earp boys are unloading some pathetic-looking timber from their wagon. “Our timber lease ain’t nothin’ but pecker-poles,” gripes Morgan as Wyatt stacks some wood for kindling behind the hardware store. (Um, it’s all pine there, fellas. Softwood’s not much good for kindling. I guess the Deadwood props department was staffed with cityfolk that didn’t know any better.) When the Pinkerton heckler from earlier shows up to give Morgan more grief, the younger Earp shoots him in the upper thigh. Wyatt dashes over and pulls the wounded man’s gun from its holster, setting it on the ground next to the man. The other Pinkertons run up, led by Barrett; Bullock, with a growled “stay inside” to Sol, runs out of the hardware store with his own gun drawn. He encourages Barrett et al to hold their fire until he figures out what went down. Wyatt states that it was a fair fight, whereupon Barrett cries bullshit, saying the wounded man was under orders not to draw. Barrett gets in Bullock’s face a bit until the sheriff uses his patented ear twist and drags him off to the jail, telling the Earp boys to follow him so he can hear their story.

Blazenoff delivers another telegram to Hearst (it’s been pre-screened by Al): Odell has been found dead on the road to Rapid City. Aunt Lou runs shrieking away from her employer after he gives her the news. Hearst has the decency to look slightly discomfited at least. Mose Manuel finds Calamity Jane drunk on a pile of empty bottles (not all hers, I hope). He’s been sent to drag her back to Joanie her to walk with the schoolchildren.

Bullock writes out the official statement – “we drew at the same time,” per Morgan and has the Earp boys sign it. When Barrett, in the cell, starts bitching, Charlie says, “Come here a second,” and sucker punches the prisoner right on the chin when he steps to the grate. Hee! Bullock asks if the Earps’ timber lease is truly “worth fuck-all.” The boys confirm the assessment and the sheriff goes on to suggest that since nothing truly holds them here in camp, they might want to ease on down the road. Wyatt gives him a many-layered look that seems to include gratitude, understanding, concern and possibly a willingness to stand with Bullock in the rough times ahead. Or maybe I’m reading too much into it.

Oh for crying out loud: it’s a frickin’ parade of Jane, Joanie, Martha Bullock, Mose Manuel and all the schoolchildren walking down the middle of the thoroughfare. People actually stop to watch, including Al, Cy and Hearst. (Mr. Mouse and I are truly confused as to WHY this school transition is taking up too many valuable scenes when there are only a handful of episodes left in this entire series.)

And now, it’s the Amateur Night performance. Pretty much everyone in camp is there, either watching or performing. There’s a lot of balancing of pickaxes, some nice singing, some crying on command, some gypsy-ish dancing. Both the Bella Union and the Gem saloons are empty, causing their owners to imbibe too much of their own product in boredom.

At the hotel, Hearst tells Aunt Lou she’s not to serve dinner to strangers when she’s grieving: kitchen’s closed. Commissioner Jarry accosts him in the hotel lobby …with this extremely odd baby-bird imitation – the hell was that? The two men go up to Hearst’s porch roof to talk, leaving Aunt Lou to slice yams and mutter, “Kill you if I could, George Hearst.” She obviously thinks that Hearst had her son killed. So do I, but I just don’t understand why. You introduce Odell for two episodes, then you kill him off-camera – why even bother? Aunt Lou won’t kill Hearst – he’s historical. Was this storyline part of a longer arc that got chopped when they knew the show was getting cancelled?

Bullock sends Charlie off to see the show after they release Barrett from his cell. Now the only ones seemingly not at the performance are Bullock (doing paperwork), Alma and Sophia (the former cutely pulling coins out of the latter’s ear), Al (scrubbing down the empty bar and drinking way too much), the Earp brothers (leaving camp – again, if that’s it for them, why even bother? although Wyatt is definitely cute, so there’s that). Oh, and Cy. He decides to pay a visit to Joanie who is sweeping up at the new schoolhouse with Jane. Tolliver is exuding his old menace, evil and threatening and looming, until Jane fetches Mose. Faced with the three of them, Cy decides it’d be too much work to gut them all and finally goes back to his saloon, bitching that he’s really tired of everyone telling him what to do all the time.

Up on the hotel’s porch roof, Jarry tells Hearst that Yankton has over 200 soldiers poised to descend upon the camp, ready to vote for whatever candidates Hearst wants them too. I’m guessing that wouldn’t be Bullock for Sheriff. We close with Al, not with a blowjob monologue, or even a soliloquy aimed at a rotting head in a box; this time, we get a drunk and maudlin Al singing to the stuffed stag’s head over the bar. He’s got a good voice – an amateur he is not.

Next episode/previous episode

Deadwood recap - “Leviathan Smiles” (S3E8)

The dropping: Because there just aren't enough characters to keep track of already, Wyatt and Morgan Earp drop by Deadwood to cut timber and stir up trouble; the camp's power players tussle as to who will hire their guns first. Jack Langrishe seeks to smooth Hearst's ruffled feathers by bonding over their shared chronic back pain - I wish there were more seasons of this show because there is more to this theater fellow than meets the eye. Steve the Drunk finally shuts up, due to a swift kick in the head compliments of the N.G.'s cranky horse. Hearst tries to intimidate Merrick in retaliation for having printed Bullock's letter; he is frustrated when Merrick doesn't quail and quake before him. However, Hearst is somewhat appeased when at least twenty-five of his hooligan "bricks" come galloping into camp, torches a-blazing.

JUST A LITTLE BAD LANGUAGE TODAY, MY DEARS

Merrick and Blazenoff deliver the latest edition of the Deadwood Pioneer – the issue containing Bullock’s letter the dead Cornish miner’s family. Richardson picks up a copy at the hotel – Richardson can read?! My world has been shaken on its foundations.

The Bullocks are arguing over the stupidest thing ever: since the theater people keep pushing back their move into the former Chez Amie, Martha keeps teaching the school there instead of moving to the new schoolhouse because she doesn’t want the children to feel their original place of education has been abandoned and left empty. Bullock, like me, thinks this is foolish and she should just move into the new school already. Is this scene just to give Martha a couple of lines? What a dumb issue. Oho – now we get to the root of it, however: she complains that he “did not retire with his usual sweetness” after the meeting last night. Lady didn’t get any and is cranky about it. Nice!

Bullock grouches off to work, meeting up with Sol and asking his bidness partner what the reaction has been to his published letter. When Sol says he doesn’t know, Bullock grumps that he doesn’t know fuckin’ much. Sol takes this in stride, saying dryly, “Guess not. Wanna fight?” This diffuses the sheriff’s tension (for now). Just then, the stage rolls in, accompanied by two young fellows, shooting off their guns. The story is that the heroic young guys, Wyatt and Morgan Earp, rescued the stage from an ambush. The sheriff is skeptical of their story – so are some other folks in camp, like Al.

Calamity Jane is a little nervous in the presumably post-coital morning with Joanie, getting dressed and bolting out of the room. Joanie looks fabulous, sporting some amazing cleavage. As they leave their room, the owner of the boarding house, Shaunnessy, starts haranguing them, saying he’ll not have “vile affections or uncleanness on these premises.” He even starts quoting the Bible until Jane hollers at him and pokes him hard in the stomach. The N.G. is saddling his horse at the livery, getting ready to go and ignoring Steve the Drunk’s morning bluster. After N.G. leaves, Steve turns the crazy on even more (prompting Mr. Mouse to wonder if he’s got syphilis and really is insane), talking to N.G.’s horse. The horse has no more patience with Steve than I do and gives him a warning kick when Steve tries to remove one of its shoes. Steve will not be dissuaded and tries again.

Al, while offering Wyatt Earp a drink, questions his story pretty closely, seeing how Al runs most of the existing road agents and hadn’t scheduled a stage-robbery for this morning. Wyatt is defensive and doesn’t take kindly to Al’s accusations that the Earp boys faked the rescue to make them look better. Al then offers to double whatever other offers the Earp boys get for hiring their guns. Wyatt takes this all under advisement. He collects Morgan from the bar and sends him off to buy tools for their timber lease. Wyatt, however, is moving on to the next step of his “plan.” Boy, I know you’re all historical and whatnot, but do not try to out-scheme Al Swearengen.

After giving Aunt Lou’s money back to her and picking up some food for the road (and musing that normally a “good-cookin’ big-hearted fat lady” would be enough to keep him in camp), N.G. returns to the livery to find Steve, bloody and stunned, having been kicked in the head by the offended horse. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy. Speaking of nice guys, Hearst pops into the newspaper office to intimidate Merrick. Merrick stands up under the pressure better than I would have expected.

Wyatt Earp stops by the Bella Union. Cy introduces himself and smarmily inquires as to his gun’s availability. Wyatt gambles for a while, and once he starts to lose, Leon suggests that he leave before he loses it all. An odd tactic for a gambling hall but Leon has obviously been instructed by Cy to have Wyatt quit while he’s ahead. Wyatt notices the favor.

The actors make excruciating preparations to get that dying, fat, old actor (name = Chesteron, apparently) to see their new theater space. In the middle of it, Jack Langrishe comes across Hearst and notices the latter has back trouble. Langrishe claims to have the same sort of ailment and to be aware of a “certain [Turkish] technique” that has put his own back pain into remission for over fifteen years. Hearst, clearly in pain, grasps onto this small hope and asks Langrishe to help him; they make arrangements for later that afternoon. Now, what is Langrishe up to here?

Is Morgan Earp the same guy who was John in John from Cincinnati? (IMDB confirms that my guess is correct!)

Bullock accosts the Earp boys and grouches about their having piled all their goods in the center of the hardware store and then leaving them there without buying them. Testosterone flares a bit but no blood is shed. Meanwhile, Cy has gone to check in with Hearst: he thinks that they should maneuver a Bullock vs. Wyatt Earp showdown and thus rid themselves of their pesky sheriff problem.

At the livery, Doc examines Steve the Vegetable and proclaims he’s not long for this world. N.G. is pissed – at Steve for getting kicked, at Hostetler for getting him into this at all, and at the horse for kicking Steve. Doc says he’ll send Calamity Jane over to help see to Steve; N.G. tells him to have her bring a bottle too.

Bullock goes to see Al: “Those assholes workin’ for you?” Al raises an eyebrow: “You mean the heroes?” Al says that he’s got Wyatt on a string, not to worry. Bullock then thinks printing the letter was a mistake and he does not intend to wait to act on Hearst’s timetable. When Merrick and Blazenoff knock at Al’s office door, asking if the sheriff is in there with Al, Swearengen smirks, “Just briefly – he’s out of sorts and going downstairs for a blowjob.” Bullock rolls his eyes. Merrick and Blazenoff come in: Merrick reports that Hearst didn’t like the letter (to which Al says the letter was not a mistake and they will, in fact, be waiting to see what Hearst does); and Blazenoff has a telegram for the sheriff which indicates that the Earp boys are, in fact, on the up and up and not called here by Hearst. Bullock goes back to the hardware store and asks the boys to consider working on the side of the law while they’re in town. Wyatt seems to get it.

The Earp boys go back to the Bella Union to consider the many opportunities they’ve been offered thus far. Wyatt seems inclined to just go out to their timber lease and work on that. When Morgan asks if Wyatt’s path is less clear now than he had planned, his brother replies that no, he doesn’t know what to do. Morgan says that the sheriff doesn’t seem so bad and maybe they should be deputies and just work the timber on the side. Wyatt says, “Did you hear him offer us work?” Morgan chuckles, “Well, let’s just kill him and take his fuckin’ job!” and they both grin. Cy approaches and Wyatt whispers that the plan Tolliver has for them might vector in more closely with the original idea Wyatt had, so Morgan is not to screw things up for them. Seriously, what’s his original plan? We’re running out of episodes here.

Back at the livery, Jane is trying to feed Steve the Vegetable while N.G. gets drunk. After a while, she gives up and leaves; a frustrated N.G. starts pelting Steve in the face with the porridge. A little while later, he feels badly about it and cleans his old enemy up. Back at the hotel, Langrishe performs the camp’s first chiropractic adjustment on Hearst. Whatever he’s doing works and Hearst almost immediately gets some relief. It’s kind of weird and funny and I’m assuming Langrishe will explain to Al later on what he’s doing.

The actors are at the Chez Amie. Langrishe and Chesterton sit together, reminiscing or imagining old times. They begin to quote lines from some play (and, before we figure this out, Mr. Mouse and I give each other WTF looks) until Chesterton finally dies. WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THAT GUY? What a waste of screen time. Ugh.

Afterwards, Langrishe and Al drink together. Jack suggests that perhaps instead of fighting against Hearst, they should try to play nice. Al gives him a WTF look. Jack explains his chiropractic session and says that Hearst now thinks kindly towards Langrishe and perchance they can use that slight goodwill to their advantage. They go outside onto the balcony. Noticing Hearst on his own overlook, watching the road into camp, Jack calls out and asks after his back. Hearst says it feels pretty good and Jack gives him a big huzzah.

At the Bullocks’, Martha explains that the actors’ delay was due to Chesteron’s illness and now that he’s died, they’ll move into the Chez Amie and she’ll move into the new schoolhouse. She then asks if Bullock acknowledges his “lack of sweetness” towards her the night before. He does, claiming worry over Hearst’s reaction to his letter. Martha asks about Hearst’s response and Bullock, smiling, says that perhaps tonight “will be twice as sweet.” Woo-hoo!

Their cute flirtation is interrupted, however, as Hearst’s twenty-five bricks arrive at camp, galloping with torches held high. Hearst smiles grimly and Cy tells his lackeys to cut the amateurs (the Earp boys) off of the house’s good graces – Mr. Hearst’s brought the pros to town.

Next episode/previous episode

Deadwood recap - “Unauthorized Cinnamon” (S3E7)

The dropping: There's something (probably not all that important to the plot at large) between Aunt Lou's son Odell and Hearst regarding purported gold in Africa, but I wasn't really paying attention. The camp elders decide that publishing Bullock's tasteful letter to a dead Cornish miner's family in the camp newspaper is an alternative to fight-or-flight as regards dealing with Hearst, at least for the present. However, Hearst has ordered guns and they're on their way. Harry the Bartender is apparently allergic to alcohol as well as cinnamon (good thing he's not a baker too). Alma and Ellsworth seem to come to terms with their separate arrangements. Joanie puts the moves on Jane (after Jane has bathed, obviously).

We pick up right where we left off. Hearst meets with Odell to talk about the potential for the African gold; since Hearst is gold-mad, he is intrigued. Bullock comes home and asks for dinner quickly, seeing how he has a town elders meeting to get to and soon. Martha is a little snippy with him because she’s been slaving all day and now he wants to eat quickly and get on to the menfolk bidness. You know, I think Bullock checks out her ass when she bends over to get the roast out of the oven. Either that or he was ogling the roast.

While Johnny circulates throughout camp notifying the elders about the called meeting, Dan struggles to open the cans of peaches for the meeting. I find these recurring peaches hilarious. Jewel takes some initiative and sets the eponymous unauthorized cinnamon out on the table in case folks want some. When Dan rebukes her, saying that’s not her province, she retorts, “Well, if food ain’t my province, then you can make your own fuckin’ breakfast!” You tell him, Jewel. Dan is cranky about lingering in camp and not being on the road to Cheyenne. When Johnny makes it to Doc’s cabin to summon him for the meeting, Doc is unable to talk for all the hacking and wheezing and thus will not be attending. After Johnny leaves, Doc sinks down onto the floor, gasping and sighing. Poor Doc. How I’ve missed him of late.

Hearst and Odell are now eating dinner together in the hotel dining room. Hearst grills Odell about the purposed Liberian gold while Aunt Lou watches nervously from the kitchen. Seems like Odell is trying to draw Hearst away to Africa (for whatever purpose) but I can’t see Hearst going purely on spec – he’d send a lackey first. Things get tense for a bit between Hearst and Odell but when Aunt Lou asks Richardson how her boy is doing out there, Richardson replies, with energy, “Holdin’ his fuckin’ own!” I’m starting to come around on Richardson – he’s gross and squirrelly but has hidden depths.

Sol is trying to soothe Trixie who is beside herself with worry about what will happen to Sophia now that Alma is back on the dope. He suggests that perhaps the Bullocks could take Sophia … or maybe they could. Trixie holds her breath a moment, then asks, trying to keep the hope out of her voice, “You’d have us care for a child?” Sol nods solemnly and she reaches out and holds his hand. It’s just lovely, the HOPE in both of them.

Cy and Al convene in Al’s office just before the meeting starts, Cy telling Al that he pretty much handed the Garrett-Ellsworth claim to Hearst on a silver plate but that Hearst is so furious with Bullock that he can think of nothing else. Cy says “giving Hearst Bullock is the only move that don’t end with the camp in flames … and that one only gets us up to 50/50.” Al is noncommittal. They go down to the meeting, allied in their worry about Doc’s illness.

Oh lordy – it’s Detective Metavoy from NYPD Blue. He’s a strange flamboyant tailor who has brought silk swatches for Al wrap his mutilated finger with. Al humors him for some reason that is beyond my fathoming. Moving on, the Gem whores are enjoying the respite the meeting gives them, sagely noting that even if you own a bank, being a woman won’t get you a seat at the meeting. They use more colloquial terms, mind.

At Shaunessey’s, Joanie is helping Jane bathe. Jane is either drunk or sobering up and a little nervous to be disrobing with pretty Joanie, telling her she’s not used to this, never having had a sister. Joanie breaks my heart when she says, “I had two. And I slept with both of ‘em. I don’t know why God let me, or if he forgives me when I pray. But I’d never hurt you, Jane, or touch you if you didn’t want.” Jane stares at her, saying “I believe that […] but you can go ahead and kiss me if that’s what you fuckin’ do.” And sad, lonely Joanie leans in, and gives sad, lonely Jane a gentle kiss on the mouth.

Hearst and Odell stroll in the thoroughfare. Hearst is being a complete nut job, ranting and raving about “the color,” but then actually tears up a little (!!) at the memory of Bullock stuffing him in that cell. He tells Odell he wants to send one of his men back to Liberia with Odell (which appears to have been Odell’s thought all along, so I guess I was wrong about the revenge scenario). Then Hearst looks around at the camp and growls that he’ll “bring this place down like Gomorrah.”

Meetin’-time. Since he’s running for sheriff, poor pathetic Harry has come with Tom Nuttal – he’s in way over his head as far as the concepts and schemes flying around the table and sticks to eating the peaches. Al asks the assembled group for their suggestions against his instinct to send for more guns; he says he fears for the innocents in camp if it comes to all-out warfare with Hearst. Charlie thinks they should send the innocent folk out of camp and then attack Hearst. This is not all that well-received. Then Bullock hands Merrick a letter that he has written: It’s to the stabbed Cornish miner’s family, informing them of his death. Merrick reads it aloud. “That’s a very nice fuckin’ letter,” according to Al, and it makes no explicit mention of Hearst at all. The group decides to publish the letter in Merrick’s newspaper. Behind the scenes, Jewel informs Dan that Harry seemed to enjoy the cinnamon she put out. Dan doesn’t want to hear about it.

When Merrick goes back to the newspaper office, Blazenoff tells him that Hearst has received a telegram that makes him uncomfortable; normally he wouldn’t impinge on the telegram recipient’s confidentiality but he feels that Al needs to know what is in the message. Merrick takes Blazenoff to Al and we learn that the message is that Hearst’s order for “25 bricks” will be arriving soon. Al agrees with Blazenoff’s interpretation that this means Hearst has 25 hired guns on their way. That’s not so good. Out on the boardwalk as he and Tom are walking back to Tom’s saloon, Harry collapses, unable to breathe. I guess that Harry is allergic to alcohol because Tom cries “Where did you lay your hands on liquor?” as he calls out for help. That’s hilarious because HARRY IS A BARTENDER.

Ugh. The dying fat actor and Jack Langrishe. Then Langrishe goes to the former Chez Amie to tell his company that tomorrow they’ll bring the fat actor over to see the new space they’ve been cleaning, readying for just that event. Whatever. Downstairs at the hotel, Aunt Lou says she thinks Hearst will kill Odell rather than send someone back with him to Liberia. Odell says he isn’t trying to put one over on her boss – he’s just trying to make something of himself. She tells him that she gave the N.G. $742 to give to Odell to get him out of camp safely but Odell will not be swayed from his course.

Back at the Gem, Dan, Adams and Johnny try amongst themselves to figure out what exactly got decided at the meeting. Johnny’s having a tough time with it. As Jewel walks by, Dan toasts her with his fork, saying “Aaaay! Little Miss Fuckin’ Cinnamon!” and she flips him the bird. Hee hee. Blazenoff delivers Hearst’s telegram and the big man is very well pleased, tipping Blazenoff an unprecedented $20.

At the Garrett-Ellsworth mansion, Alma is crying and being a general drama queen as she checks on a sleeping Sophia. “I want to be good, I want to be good,” she murmurs as she goes downstairs to answer a knock at the door. It’s her husband: “For being gone, I seem to be frequently back.” I love Ellsworth and he doesn’t deserve stupid Alma. She apologizes for going back on the dope; he says his moving out should help her odds at kicking the habit; she actually makes me smile when she says, “I started using spirits at seventeen, Ellsworth, with no premonition we’d marry.” He stands by his position, however, saying that she obviously is stronger alone and doesn’t need him to take care of her, but that he’ll always be there to support her if she needs a friend. I guess he’s probably right about that.

Jack Langrishe drops by Al’s office. Al apologizes for not having invited him to the meeting and Jack wonders what topics he might have helped with: “Reprobates? The elderly?” “Fuckin’ Hearst!” gripes Al. He relates the situation and Bullock’s nice letter. “Strategy some may call ingenuous, others … off the point,” observes Jack, before expanding to say that publishing the letter is cunning and genius, invoking a decency that Hearst cannot display. This cheers Al quite a lot and he shouts over the inside balcony to open the Gem back up and get those whores’ legs in the air! He returns to his office to ask Jack how he’s doing himself. Jack is sad because his friend is dying; Al pulls out the good whiskey. “Oh, perhaps just the one,” says Jack gratefully. Brian Cox is great – I just wish he wasn’t surrounded by those annoying actors.

The drunk Steve finds the N.G. asleep in the loft of the livery and blusters around for a while before actually offering the N.G. a job. The N.G. turns him down, saying he’s heading west, hopefully with Odell. I guess the writers are trying to garner some sympathy for Steve but it’s too little too late.

Back at Tom’s saloon, Harry has come around under the ministrations of a coughing, haggard Doc Cochran. “Don’t eat cinnamon!” are his instructions. Al sees Doc hobbling along on his way back to his cabin and calls him into the Gem, then calls Doc out for being a lunger. Doc says that the disease he has is airborne and he doesn’t want to make anyone else sick. “No one gets out alive, Doc,” philosophizes Al. Doc tries to leave and Al screams a whole lot of things at him – basically, suck it up, we all struggle – before throwing the cloth samples at the poor doctor. “Pick a swatch for a spitrag, use others for masks and go about your fuckin’ business. I ain’t learning a new doc’s quirks!” Doc is amazed and slightly appalled, but he picks up the swatches and goes about his fuckin’ business.

Next episode/previous episode

Deadwood recap - “A Rich Find” (S3E6)

The dropping: This is another transitional episode and not much seems to happen (at least we don't get bogged down with that dying actor). Bullock and Al chase their tails trying to figure out how best to oust Hearst while Hearst, for his part, seems to be hiring reinforcements, all of which means bad things for the campfolk caught in the middle. Alma's opium supply seems to have dried up but not before she clashes with a concerned Trixie over getting back on the dope. There's some stuff going on with Steve and with Aunt Lou and her son but it doesn't seem all that important. And Joanie tries again to help an increasingly sodden Jane.

ONLY TWO F-BOMBS IN THE FOLLOWING RECAP

-- DEFINITELY A SLOW DAY IN DEADWOOD

The next morning, Hearst is fuming in his cell as Charlie struggles to bring in the morning’s mail. Charlie tries to provoke Hearst a bit, first playing dumb as to who he is, then revealing the dead Cornish miner in the cell next to Hearst: “Is that your knife, George Hearst?” Calamity Jane is helping N.G. bury Hostetler, which prompts N.G. to say that such an act won’t endear her to the other whites in camp. Jane scoffs: “[That’s] a question I wake to in the mornin’ and pass out with at night: ‘what’s my popularity with my fellow white people?” Hee hee. She’d rather help a friend, no matter what color he is, plus she owes a visit up to the graveyard anyway.

Al interrupts Bullock and Mrs. Bullock at breakfast. She excuses herself so the menfolk can talk. Al’s position regarding going after Hearst: “Our hour is wrong. Having lost his man Turner, being embarrassed by you, Hearst will be on the muscle. We, his wrath’s object, ought to stay close and confide – our alternative is flight.” Bullock doesn’t want to run either and gets the message.

Dan lurches out of the back room of the Gem, looking terrible. Johnny fills him in on the evening’s events (Bullock twisting Hearst’s ear) and Dan just stares at him, incredulous. Then, blah blah blah – it’s Steve, ranting and raving, and I just don’t care. After walking Martha to school, Bullock goes the freight office and lets Hearst out of the cell. Hearst pulls his knife out of the dead miner, wipes the bloody blade on the banister and walks out, glowering at the sheriff. He then goes to send a message at the telegraph office, snarling at both Blazenoff and Merrick.

A concerned Charlie tags along as Bullock walks through the thoroughfare. Bullock bemusedly tells his self-appointed bodyguard that he’s just going to the hardware store. Good, says Charlie, “it’s a little early to start drinkin’.” (I expect an immediate cut to Jane drunk in an alley but am disappointed.) At the hardware store, Sol joins Bullock and Charlie in rehashing the Hearst issue. Charlie thinks that “Hearst is fuckin’ comin’” and that Bullock should strike first, setting up an ambush and working with Al and Cy to destroy Hearst’s men. Sol objects that there’ll be nothing left of the camp. “How much you figure’ll stand once Hearst’s had his fuckin’ say?” retorts Charlie. He’s got a point. Bullock looks thoughtful.

Cy tells Hearst that Alma Garrett-Ellsworth is back on the dope and insinuates that he could have Alma killed by tweaking the quality of the product. Hearst finds this interesting but wishes he’d heard this yesterday – might have saved him the loss of his man and a night in jail. I’m not sure where he’s going with this line of thought but okay. In any event, Hearst tells Cy not to kill Alma yet. On his way out, Cy gives E.B. $200 and tells the innkeeper to keep him posted on Hearst’s activities. If not, the consequence would be for Cy to cut E.B.’s throat. “Oh my,” says E.B. After Cy leaves, E.B. scurries off to let Al know what just transpired. “Save us,” squeaks E.B., “think of something!” Al is lost in thought but murmurs, “When have I not?”

Not knowing that Hearst doesn’t want to kill Alma quite yet, Leon gets really twitchy and goes to the bank. Trixie gets disgusted at the sight of him and goes out for a smoke. Leon tells Alma he’s shutting her off. She’s all snooty and on her high horse – I hate it when she does that, even to icky drug dealers. After Leon leaves, Trixie confronts Alma, saying she knows about her drug habit. Alma gets even snootier and fires Trixie from her bank teller job. Trixie clears off her desk (hee hee!) and leaves. She goes to report in to Al who gives her a pep talk, Swearengen-style.

Aunt Lou’s son Odell has arrived in camp. Great – more new characters. Odell has been in Liberia where his mom sent him to keep him away from Hearst. I have a thought that Hearst is perhaps Odell’s father. Anyhow, Odell has come to speak with Hearst about mining operations in Africa. Aunt Lou thinks this is a bad idea and fears for her son, who seems to possibly be trying to get some sort of revenge on his mother’s employer. It’s vague and confusing and, again, I really don’t care. I want to get back to Al and Dan and Bullock and Charlie and Jane and Sol and E.B. and Doc – where the hell has Doc been? Moving on.

Here we go: Dan comes up to see Al in his office. Dan is a little testy but Al just wants to know if Dan has gotten over killing the Captain. Dan quotes the light going out of the eyes line and Al wryly points out there was only one eye left for it to go out of. Dan looks crestfallen at this and Al leans in, kindly saying, “Better the one of his than both of yours.” Al wants Dan to go to Cheyenne to hire guns for the upcoming battle with Hearst. Dan’s down with that as he’s ready to get out of camp for a while.

More Odell. Plus Steve, drunk and raving. Spare me. Is Steve supposed to be funny? Because he just makes me scream obscenities at the t.v.

Bullock goes to the Gem to talk to Al. He says that perhaps he and Al should strike first against Hearst. Al echoes Sol as he says that if they battle Hearst, the camp will be destroyed. He calls to Dan to hold off leaving for Cheyenne tonight as he and the sheriff call a meeting of the camp elders: “Let’s be baffled among friends.” Hee.

Jane is drunk off her ass and in an alley – I knew it would happen sooner or later, usually after a visit to Bill's grave. Joanie finds her and convinces Jane to come back to Shaunessey’s with her. Jane manages to puke en route but Joanie is sweet and patient with her. Better to puke in the thoroughfare than in the boarding house, I guess.

Next episode/previous episode

Deadwood recap - “A Two Headed Beast” (S3E5)

The dropping: Alma is not fooling anyone with her newly-resumed opium habit, least of all her husband who moves out of the house after she comes on to him in an altered state. Bullock finally manages to finalize the sale of the livery from Hostetler to that drunk Steve; Steve ends up pushing Hostetler past what the older man can bear, with tragic results. Dan Dority and Captain Turner (Hearst's right hand man) have a brutal battle in the thoroughfare which Dan just barely manages to win. Bullock arrests a drunken and belligerent Hearst and drags him into the jail, an action for which there will surely be serious repercussions.

AS ALWAYS, QUITE A BIT OF WICKED BAD LANGUAGE FOLLOWS:

Oh, yuck. Con Stapleton is playing with a naked Bella Union whore’s boobies. (The yuck is for Con, not the boobies.) I can’t even watch. Cy Tolliver comes in, ostensibly to ask Con to be his go-between for him and George Hearst. Con says he’s too het up sexually to focus on Cy’s schemings and Cy excuses him from service until his excitement passes. The disgust on Cy’s face pretty much equals mine. Gag. Also gag: stupid Steve is bathing (that’s actually a good thing), prior to the signing for the transfer of the livery from Hostetler to him, because Tom Nuttal dumped a spittoon onto him. I’m SO done with Steve and his boring-ass, noisy story line. At a simultaneous countdown, Hostetler and Steve each sign the paperwork and the deed is done. (That’s a little real estate humor for you there.)

Adams is meeting with Hearst. I’m not exactly clear on how the meeting ends up going – and Adams is a bit uneasy about the outcome as well – Hearst is skeptical and sarcastic. Captain Turner tells Adams to tell his [Adams’s] “friend” [Dan] that he [the Captain] knows he’s [Dan] afraid of him [the Captain]. Wanting to be clear about whom the message is to be delivered, Adams asks, “Dority? The big guy?” The Captain: “I guess he looks big to you.” Hee. When Adams reports back to Al et al., Dan is wild about the challenge. Al, on the other hand, doesn’t know what Hearst is up to, allowing the Captain to call Dan out.

At the bank, Alma is clearly high on opium, oddly trimming a houseplant and speaking breathily with Merrick. The newspaperman is not quite sure what’s going on with her but Trixie, keeping a watchful eye from the bank teller’s desk, knows exactly what’s up. Later, while out for their perambulation, Merrick and Blazenoff come across the dumped body of a murdered Cornish miner, knife still stuck in his chest. It’s the third fellow who had been trying to organize the workers. They go to fetch the sheriff who stomps off to tell Al that he doesn’t want to wait any longer to go after Hearst. Adams cautions Bullock to wait just a bit, “You know Al.” Bullock grunts that he has the briefest of other business to attend to (the finalization of the Hostetler/Steve transaction) and heads off to attend to it. Al, on the other hand, goes to his office and confers with the severed head of the Indian that he has stored in a cupboard.

Back at the Bella Union, Cy confronts Leon about the current status of his drug habit and Leon ‘fesses up about dealing to Alma. Cy finds this interesting. E.B. swings by the Gem to see Al – you know, why has E.B. been replaced by that asshole Steve this season? E.B. is hardly ever on this show anymore and while abhorrent, is a way more interesting character than fuckin’ Steve. Anyway, Al does meet with E.B. for a little bit and, while bringing E.B. up to speed as to Hearst’s machinations, reminds us viewers what all is going on. Al still can’t figure out why Hearst would want Dan and the Captain to fight – what’s in it for the big man? His job done, E.B. leaves, straightening his hideous gloves. Finally, Al comes out of his office, saying to Dan: “It’s past me. I cannot figure the fuckin’ angle. Go ahead and fight him.”

Oh crap: more new characters. Two additional actors have arrived in camp to join Jack Langrishe and company: a fat, dying old man and his foppish attendant. I like Jack Langrishe and all, but what the hell is the point of all of this? It’s taking time away from characters I know and love.

Dan is getting ready to battle the Captain, greasing himself so the other man can’t get a good grip. Johnny tells his friend to drop flat if he starts getting the worst of it and he [Johnny] will shoot him dead. Dan snaps at him to stay out of it: this is Dan’s fight and Dan’s fight alone. At Hearst’s place, the Captain is stretching (hee!), warming up for the battle to come. I have a baaaaaaaaaad feeling about this fight.

The two behemoths meet in the thoroughfare, dropping their weapons (knives and pistols) to the boardwalk. They run at each other and crash together. Al and Hearst each come out onto their respective balconies to watch. It is an ugly, brutal, realistic fight and the sound effects are horrific. At one point, the Captain bites into Dan’s face and Dan screams. As Dan tries to crawl away, the Captain shoves his face into a mud puddle and keeps it there, looking up to his boss for approbation. Dan erupts out of the puddle, throwing the Captain to the side. The Captain starts to slam Dan’s head into a rock; Dan reaches up and plucks out the Captain’s left eye. Seriously – it’s dangling there on his cheek. Now the screaming really kicks into high gear … until Dan beats in the Captain’s head with a chunk of stove wood, ending it. All around in the thoroughfare everyone goes on about their business and Dan, looking really bad (how’s that head wound?), staggers back to the Gem. Hearst heaves a sigh and goes back into his room, leaving his man shredded and bloody in the muck.

Blah blah blah – the actors again. I do like Brian Cox but this new old guy is gross and creepy. The fop actor played the adult Eddie Kaspbrak on the t.v. movie It.

Doc Cochran stops by to try to check on Dan but Dan won’t see anyone: he’s sitting in the back room, naked and crying. Doc instructs Johnny and Adams to listen for raspy breathing in the night and to come get him if it happens. Trixie joins Sol for a bit of one-on-one time, first ranting about Alma’s resumption of her dope habit, calling the bank’s owner the “chief officer of air-headed smugness.” Sol doesn’t really know what is going on and when Trixie rolls her eyes and says, “So, do you want to get fucked or not?” he just grins and says “Please!”

Alma dopes up at her house – this time it isn’t a clear liquid like the laudanum, but brown and cloudy. She fusses with the bedclothes and then goes to knock on Ellsworth’s door. He’s taking a bath and is startled at the interruption. When he nervously comes out, she advances on him, kissing him. It is so heart-breaking: he would love to love her but he can tell that she’s high and turns her down, saying he’ll move out of the house and live out at the mine. Poor Ellsworth. Alma sucks.

And where has Bullock been this whole time, especially during the Dan vs. the Captain fight? He’s been at the livery with Hostetler, N.G. and Steve, looking for that board on which Hostetler recorded Steve’s sex act with the horse oh so long ago. When they finally find the board, it’s been erased because it was written on with chalk, and Bullock is SO annoyed with this whole pointless thing. Stupid Steve accuses Hostetler of keeping the real board to use against him at a later date. Hostetler takes Steve's abuse for a while, then shouts that he won’t be called a liar and storms out of the barn. A shot is heard. When Bullock peeks around the corner, Hostetler has shot himself in the head rather than deal with Steve’s bullshit any longer. Fuckin’ Steve.

Johnny asks Al to look in on Dan but Al says “some shit’s better walked through alone.” Johnny doesn’t understand, saying that Dan’s killed people before – why is he taking this one so hard? Al gently explains that he and Dan usually try to avoid fair fights since fair fights are different: “You see the light go out of their eyes – it’s just you left, and death.”

Hearst walks into the Bella Union and gets a bottle of whiskey. He’s “just seen to the remains of a friend.” He looks a little shaky. Meanwhile, Bullock has just had enough, Hostetler’s awful suicide having pushed him past all patience, and he stalks into the hotel, demanding if Hearst is in. In a lovely little scene, E.B. frantically tells him out loud that he couldn’t possibly report on the whereabouts of the hotel’s owner, all the while writing “Bella Union” on a slip of paper and handing it to the sheriff. Bullock understands E.B.’s play and stalks back out.

Cy joins Hearst at the Bella Union bar. Hearst seems pretty drunk by now. Oops: now here’s Bullock. The sheriff orders a whiskey and knocks it back quickly, noting that Hearst sounds drunk. Hearst tells him to fuck himself. Gerald McRaney is very scary. Bullock asks, “Did you just tell me ‘fuck myself’?” Hearst answers in the affirmative, adding that if Bullock doesn’t shut up, he’ll quiet the sheriff himself. He says this several times to make sure Bullock gets it. Pulling his gun, Bullock announces that Hearst is under arrest for threatening a peace officer and drags the big man out BY HIS EAR! Outstanding.

Al watches the sheriff leading Hearst to the jail and notes to Johnny that Bullock has just eliminated some of Al’s options. Merrick, observing the sheriff and Hearst walking by, looks up at Al. Al tells him that not a word is to make it into the paper about this and Merrick just nods.

Next episode/previous episode