Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Syosset, New York
*In Yiddish, a "golmesser" is a razor, and a "golmesserl" is a razor blade. "Razirn zikh" means to shave.
Did you hear the story about the Americanized Jew, a former talmudic scholar, who returned years later to the Old Country for a visit. His "alt" (old) mother took one look at him and cried:
"Moishe! Where's your beard?"
"Ah, Mama, in America no one wears a
beard."
"I see, I see. But you do still keep the
Sabbath?"
"Mama, you know, business won't wait.
In America, many people work on the
Sabbath."
"I see. I see. But at least you do still eat
kosher food?"
"Mama, I'm afraid it's very difficult to keep
kosher in America."
"I see. I see." Mama hesitated a moment,
then WHISPERED in her son's ear,
"Moishe, tell me this one thing. Are you
still circumcised?"
Facial hair--and Rick Santorum's "sveter
vestl" (sweater vest)--is making the news. The headlines read:
----------------------------------------------
MATISYAHU SHAVES BEARD, SAYS
'CHASSIDIC' DAYS ARE OVER.
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DISNEY ENDS BAN ON FACIAL HAIR.
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Matisyahu, the Jewish reggae star, has shaven his "bord" (beard)! He explains his
new outlook on religion:
"Sorry folks, all you get is me...no alias," the statement reads. "When I started becoming religious 10 years ago it was a very natural and organic process. It was my choice. My journey to discover my roots and explore Jewish spirituality--not through books but through real life. At a certain point I felt the need to submit to a higher level of religiosity...to move away from my intuition and to accept an ultimate truth. I felt that in order to become a good person, I needed rules--lots of them--or else I would somehow fall apart. I am reclaliming myself. Trusting my goodness and my divine mission.
Get ready for an amazing year filled with music of rebirth. And for those concerned with my naked face, don't worry...you haven't seen the last of my facial hair."
Hair today--gone tomorrow?
Perhaps Jean Cocteau was right: "There is always a period when a man with a beard shaves it off. The period does not last. He returns headlong to his beard."
Re: Disney's decision to end the ban on facial hair, I can still hear the students at Florida Atlantic University (FAU) rejoicing.
After nearly "zekhtsik" (60) years, Mickey Mouse has decided to let his workers put their razors away.
The Orlando Sentinel reported that the Walt Disney Co. announced that it would let employees at its two U.S. theme-park resorts (about 60,000 workers at Walt Disney World) to grow beards or goatees.
The new policy took effect on Feb. 3, 2012. Yes, for decades there has been grumbling among some male theme-park workers. (Note: The Yiddish word meaning to grumble is "burtshen.")
The Orlando Sentinel continues, "That's not to say Santa Claus can start working in the Magic Kingdom." There are some restrictions.
The new policy restricts any facial hair to no more than a quarter of an inch in length. And the company says any chin whiskers "must create an overal neat ("tsikhtik"), polished and professional look" and must be fully grown in and well-groomed. (Ashton Kutcher, are you listening?)
This is one of two notable changes Disney
is making. The "anderer" (other) is casual
Fridays, but only for employees who work
in non-costumed jobs and who don't interract with theme-park visitors.
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Marjorie Wolfe is so happy when her
husband and three sons, Matthew, Jonathan, and Daniel, are clean-shaven!
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