Tenacious Z

I don't know what I was searching for when I stumbled upon this lo-fi gem but it raised enough of a dry smile to earn a spot in my somewhat selective music library. Recorded at some point in 2011, Best Songs Ever compiles several (each entitled Best Songs Ever 2, 3, etc. etc.) short YouTube recording sessions into a full-length LP (and many thanks to the person who had the patience/tolerance to rip said videos). Obvious comparisons to Tenacious D aside, some of the songs are pretty funny, some of the more offensive ones ("Ever Since I Fucked My Sister (She's Been Acting Kind Of Strange)" and "Remember That Time That Your Dad Molested You?") actually elicited a guffaw from my jaded soul. Based out of New Orleans, the Straight-Eff's consisted of TJ Kinkaid on vocals and Cody Weber on acoustic guitar and while basically a duo there appears a guest bassist as well whose name escapes me. There are also some pretty solid (i.e. professional) remixes tacked on as well but you'll just have to listen to the record to understand it all. Unfortunately it seems the guys had somewhat of a real/fake falling out after a few months and their tethered musical future dissolved just as quickly but both have continued to do online shit here and here. In short, the album works a little bit better in its original 10-minute bursts, after half an hour of TJ screaming it can get somewhat nerve-frying so be forewarned and enjoy. For those who dig, they have a bandcamp page with some extra material for sale - check it out.

Get A Snack

Yeah Boy-ee

Zippyshare is running slow as balls so I needed something tiny to upload...

The holy grail of Anal Cunt releases. 53 hand-assembled copies pressed on vinyl. I'm amazed some astute soul had the wherewith all to rip it digitally. Recorded during the 40 More Reasons To Hate Us sessions, I'm sure this is the one Scott Hull wants to be buried with. "You Should Be Balding" is my favorite, in all its wonderful copyright-infringing glory. Enjoy.

Bald To The Bone

For Everybody

Oh man, I was such a fucking dork back in '85! I can vividly remember my retarded anticipation for the "Slammies" on MTV. For the unenlightened, it was a cheesy self-aggrandizing awards show in which the WWF's finest bestowed trophies upon themselves in between painfully choreographed segments of hilarity and mayhem. MTV and WWF? How did that dubious relationship come about you ask? We can all thank Cyndi Lauper featuring Captain Lou Albano in her über-popular "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" and "Goonies" videos (among others) for bringing the existence of the WWF to MTV execs and... man, this book just writes itself! Coinciding with the one-shot primetime special was the release of The Wrestling Album, featuring mostly cover tunes sung by the then-stars of the wrestling world, helmed by ex-McCoy Rick Derringer who must have just been slumming for coke money. But who am I to judge, I instantly bought the cassette (in true 80's style packaged in a LP-sized cardboard sleeve) and y'know what? 25+ years later it's still laughably listenable. "Mean" Gene Okerlund, Vince McMahon and Jesse "The Body" Ventura provide some pretty humorous commentary to open the record and segue from song to song - it's the typical antagonistic banter that became standard play-by-play on Saturday afternoon's wrestling shows. The music begins with the ensemble "Land Of 1,000 Dances?!!?" - a lot funnier to listen to if you've seen the video - Roddy Piper ends up trashing the set at the end amidst other chaos. Junk Yard Dog's "Grab Them Cakes" (showcasing aged disco queen Vicki Sue Robinson on back up vocals) reeks so strongly of 80's cheese it's hard to get out of your head. Derringer solos on "Real American" which according to the commentary is an homage to the forgettable tag-team duo U.S. Express. It is just as tacky as any number of the zillion pro-USA country music anthems out there today but I'll give Derringer historical credit and just assume he wrote it while watching the montage scene Rocky IV. Jimmy "The Mouth Of The South" Hart contributes a pretty funny track regarding his girlfriend's affinity for Rick Springfield - one of the few artists on the album who actually seems like he may have some inkling of musical talent. Captain Lou's "History Of Music" is a low point on the album, a typical ranting effort by the bloated manager which is as silly as it is stupid. Flipping over to side B, the "WWF All Star" studio musicians present us with the instrumental "Hulk Hogan's Theme" (dorks younger then me will recognize this as the theme to the surely-agonizing Saturday morning Hulk Hogan's Rock 'N' Wrestling cartoon) followed by the LP's best track, "Rowdy" Roddy Piper's "For Everybody." A relatively rowdy (ha!) G-rated cover of Mike Angelo & The Idols' explicit 1984 single "The World May Not Like Me", Piper stutters and spits his way through the lyrics with the same aplomb that made him one of the smarter stars in wrestling (and fucking awesome in They Live but I digress). Gene Okerlund grooves through "Tutti Frutti" with a panache that brings to mind Val Kilmer in Top Secret! and token hick wrestler Hillbilly Jim drawls through (surprise!) "Don't Go Messin' With A Country Boy." For what it's worth his version is somewhat listenable aside from the fact that I absolutely detest country music. Wrapping it all up is perrennial 80's bad guy Nikolai Volkoff caterwauling "Cara Mia" which degrades into a shoddy version of the Soviet National Anthem. Ventura, McMahon and Okerlund throw him out and declare the entire recording a failure at which point Ventura begs the others two to duet with him. As they flee we are left with the eventual governor of Minnesota whining "It's my turn to sing!!!" You couldn't make this shit up folks. Enjoy.

Grab 'Em

Give a little squeeze...

Digging through the 'Genocide archives last weekend I unearthed a quintet of random tunes culled from the coolest show ever. Some from the movie, some from the show; all more witty than anything you will ever come up with so just stop trying. Trey Parker fucking rules.

How do you do?

Women Comics...

Easily the most awkward comedy album in history, Dice's The Day The Laughter Died captures the polarizing comic at his best (or worst depending on your point of view) in front of a completely shell-shocked audience. Recorded in 1989 at NYC's Dangerfield's (owned by the late great Rodney), producer Rick Rubin limited the show's advertising to intentionally attract an unsuspecting audience totally unprepared for the profanity-laden assault that awaited them. It's a two-hour slice of anti-comedy - a perpetually Marlboro-sucking Clay incessantly heckles the audience (many of whom leave), half of the skits are built around the poor shlubs who naïvely sat too close to the stage. There's a great part when a disgusted couple he's busy harassing decide to leave halfway through the show and an unapologetic Dice responds:

"Did you like the jerk off segment, what was it that threw ya? The ass-eating? The uh... I dunno maybe it was something I said that annoyed 'em?"

Fucking classic. Of course the show does drag at times and his improv occasionally falls somewhat flat but there are more gems on this one then all his other material combined. His excited rant about the (sadly definct) smut clubs on 42nd street still gets me rolling to this day.

Hour Back...                                                       Get It?

Kielbasa

Caught the "D" at the Fillmore in Charlotte, NC last night and they fucking killed. Played a bunch of new tunes from their current Rize Of The Fenix album (but no "39".... why?!?!) and a nice sampling of the old shit to keep the old schoolers happy. Jack Black is one crazy fuck; watching that guy's shirt just get wetter and wetter with sweat over the hours was hilarious. Your indie cred is back my man, thanks for a great fucking night.

Currently watching: The House On Haunted Hill

Currently listening to: Birth Of Depravity The Coming Of The Ineffable

Face Down

C'mon, has there ever been a funnier time in your life than sitting in an orange Nova in a barren highschool parking lot on a cold New Jersey winter morning before 1st period Algebra nursing a 6-pack of Meister Bräu with your pals and someone throws this 40-minute gem in the cassette deck. Enjoy.

Ass Up

 
Currently watching: Baise-Moi

Currently listening to: Cannibal Corpse Tomb Of The Mutilated

And A Virgin So Very Horny...

Does this one even need an explanation? Happy Holidays motherfuckers.

Cheers

 
Currently watching: 127 Hours
Currently listening to: Blutch Enjoy Your Flight

Random plug...

I don't know how I stumbled upon this webpage but I'm glad I did. A great collection of one-sheet comics done by the talented Matty Boy Anderson detailing the fall from grace of so many bands. Witty, well drawn and all-too-true, I even enjoy reading the ones about bands I couldn't care less about. And I gotta respect the guy for admitting he was a Meat Shits fan!

Funny Shit...

 
Currently watching: Survival Of The Dead
Currently listening to: Spore Gaia's Grasp

Like A Postal Clerk I'll Go Berserk...

Probably one of the funniest albums ever, Jimmy Pop Ali and crew leave their uneven 1995 debut Use Your Fingers in the dust with this classic. Merging the boundaries of rap, rock, techno, punk and whatever-the-fuck-else, Bloodhound Gang showcase some of the wittiest rhymes and styles ever to hit the mainstream. From the sweetly pro-suicide "Lift Your Head Up High (And Blow Your Brains Out)" to the self-depreciating "Why Is Everybody Always Pickin' On Me?" (to be honest, actually every song is self-depreciating in some sense), the album is a riot from the start. Actually, the lamest song on the album isn't even theirs - it's a somewhat weak cover of Run-D.M.C.'s "It's Tricky." They even got Vanilla Ice to rap on "Boom" and he's good! Weirdo "V-Ice" afficionados (like me, sadly) will note that good ol' Rob Winkle turned "Boom" into his own track called "Prozac" on Hard To Swallow (I'm almost depressed admitting to know that...) Anyways, I've ripped the CD at 320 kbps and also included the Geffen-deleted "Yellow Fever" track (ripped from the Republic Records LP) since it's just as funny as the rest of the album and no more offensive. Enjoy. Yeah, so they're anti-PC, homophobic, misogynistic, sexist, scatalogical, sociopathic and absolutely hilarious. What's not to like?

Drink Up

 
Currently watching: The Dark Crystal

Currently listening to: Cannibal Corpse Tomb Of The Mutilated

One Night Stand Slip-Up

Only took me 8 months to realize this existed... I admit I'm a little behind the times. The masterpiece is the brainchild of a bespeckled genius named DJ Lubel. And getting Scott Baio to cameo is fucking priceless. Check out his website for some more funny shit.

Currently watching: Videodrome

Currently listening to: Da Lench Mob Guerrillas In Tha Mist

D'oh!

Yeah, I know this is probably the most vanilla post I've had on this blog so far but c'mon!!! Ya gotta give props to a musical testament of the greatest TV show ever. And you think the Simpsons are popular today??? They were truly taking over the world back in 1990 - does anyone remember that "Do The Bartman" was the number one song in the UK for fucking three weeks and was an MTV staple looooong before Simpsons re-runs took up most of Fox's afternoon schedule? The bootleg Simpsons t-shirt market probably generated more income than any fucking "work at home" infomercial scam offered today (remember the plethora of "Black" Barts?). Regardless, the tunes are as fresh as the show is today (and I don't mean that sarcastically) - Burns and Smithers squabbling in "Look At All Those Idiots", Homer admitting he isn't the brightest bulb on the tree in "Born Under A Bad Sign". Priceless. OK, the voices aren't quite as perfected as they are today (Marge in "I Love To See You Smile" comes to mind) but you'd be retarded not to know who's who. Enjoy.

Down-dum-diddley-load

 
Currently watching: Squirm

Currently listening to: Molotov Solution The Harbinger

We beat the SHIT out of our old man that night...

It's amazing how you can recall shit as a kid. I remember my ten-year-old self being smuggled a fifteenth-generation cassette copy of Eddie Murphy's 1982 show at NYC's Comic Strip; listening to it over and over again under the cover of my Walkman to the point where I could nearly recite it verbatim. And this was no Doctor Dolittle / Nutty Professor Eddie Murphy here, this was the parental advisory sticker, vulgar, off-color shit that made him a star. Of course back then I hardly understood half of the shit he was talking about, yet this album was so ingrained in me that twenty-five years later I can still do "Hit By A Car" word for word. Though I probably don't come off quite as funny.

Kick That Lip

Probably the funniest thing I have ever seen....

Richmond, VA's daybyday are, without a doubt, the once-murder-capital-of-the-country's greatest export. Hilarious guys in the vein of a smarter, funnier Jackass crew (or more offensive, vulgar, funnier MAD TV crew) who gained a bunch of media attention a few years ago when they stumped the moronic state employees at the Virginia DMV and got multiple driver's licenses with the most obviously idiotic photos ever (you gotta see their flick Teenagers From Uranus in which they document the whole shebang). I saw this clip at some hardcore show a few years ago which opened with some weird amateur wrestling and this (it was the precursor to the wrestling). Funniest shit EVER, I was laughing so hard I thought I was going to have an aneurysm. I was also on the second or third date with my present wife, I'm sure she looks back on that day and wishes she trusted her instincts and ran......

Home Repairs

Hey folks, my apologies for the lack of posts during the last few days... lots of home repairs and construction trying to get the ol' casa on the market. Please bear with the interruptions and the music will be back as soon as possible!!!

Show Me Your Genitals

John Lajoie is awesome, almost makes me forgive Canada for exporting Bryan Adams, Alanis Morrisette and Neil Young to our shores. Since I was on the white-boy-rapping tip last week, I thought I'd follow it up with someone who does it right. He's got a ton of songs and videos all over the internet (YouTube clocks some songs at 24 million views (!)) and this is almost my favorite after "2 Girls And One Cup". He's got an album (finally) - go and buy it - he's also on the new FX show The League. Word!

You Just Got Blazed!

Welp, last week I posted T-Baby's incredible contribution to the Rap Hall Of Shame - amazingly this almost trumps it. Meet Louisville, Ohio's own Denny "Blazin'" Hazen. Under his stage name "The Average Homeboy", Denny sent this awful gem to MTV in the late 80's where it was instantly ignored and sat boxed away for 17 years. Rumor has it an employee was cleaning out the warehouse, found it, uploaded it, and the rest is history. I don't know what's funnier: this video, or the fact that almost every white kid in suburbia was filming himself doing the exact same thing (and just never got caught). Surprisingly, the guy is still at it and has albums (!) for sale on his website. Sadly, he's shed the mullet and the Vuarnet gear but at least we'll always have the video...

Beer Is Good.... And Stuff!

A LOT better then you'd think it would be, Psychostick's surprisingly heavy album blows most of its fellow "humor-core" competition waaaaaay out of the water. Anthrax, M.O.D., Green Jellö, Scatterbrain and Ugly Kid Joe are the best comparisons I can come up with and they all suck compared to this. You may remember the band from their viral video for "BEER!!!" that floated around the web a couple years ago, it was pretty funny, pretty heavy, and I think everyone (myself included) was surprised when we realized there was an actual band with an album behind it. Yeah, the skits get a little long at times (and some of the humorous banter is probably staged) but tracks like "Two Ton Paperweight" and "ABCDeath" are real standouts. Check it out (along with their new album Sandwich) - you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Pluh!