The Summer of 2050 at the Cinema

Picture it. The summer of 2050 at the cinema. The studios probably already are. They've already got their sure thing tent poles already picked out and ready to grab the masses, pulling in ridiculous profits. Their market research has led to more 'sure things' than ever before.

Marvel Phase 14 is well under way with Avengers 14 out next summer. Star Wars Origins have seen spin offs of every major character in the original Star Wars trilogy from birth to puberty to retirement and episode 16 is due any day now. Spiderman is on his sixth reboot, Fast and Furious 50 promises to be a landmark in the franchise and vampire and zombie movies are still selling well.

J.J. Abrams and his two offspring will of course be directing most of these with Christopher Nolan producing from his death bed. Elderly stars like Tom Cruise and their increasingly important stunt doubles are mo-capping for digitally rendered versions of their younger, prettier selves and still making the studios a mint.

The summer schedules are filled with blockbusters and the trailers are now six minutes long and feature excerpts from every major set piece expertly edited together with juicy sound bites of increasingly ridiculous and repetitive dialogue. 

The cinemas all have bouncers who patrol the aisles with night vision goggles, looking for pirates at work. They watch you endlessly as you try to watch the film, trying even harder not to notice them. There are now nearly 10 minutes of messages warning you not to pirate movies or you will kill cinema.

The average length of a film is now just shy of 3 hours and cinemas have gotten wise, having an interval in most and sending staff in to sell you food and drink, scratch cards, merchandise...you name it. The second half is usually filled with kids waving light sabers excitedly in the air. Many people take the option of a three course meal for the duration of the film and wear bibs due to the difficulties of eating in the darkened cinema.

The norm will be to tweet, text and Facebook your friends during a film (even if they are in the seat next to you). Thankfully most phone batteries don't last as long as a film anymore, so by the second half most have died and all those bright white lights have disappeared (to be replaced by kids with replica plastic lightsabers).

Franchises rule, originality is dead, but at least audiences still love the movies. 

More moaning at I Love That Film:

The Cinema Experience

Is modern marketing ruining the movie experience?

Les Miserables at the Open Air Cinema at Hedsor House

Thanks to Marlow FM, I got to go along to see Les Miserables at an open air cinema at Hedsor House on Thursday evening. It was the first time I've ever watched a film outside in my life. 31 and I've never watched a film outdoors... can you believe it? I'm well and truly hooked now though and on the look out for more opportunities to watch films under the stars. It was an amazing evening. It certainly didn't hurt that the screening was held in the grounds of Hedsor House, a beautiful location that has been used for such films as Dustin Hoffman's directorial debut Quartet and The Golden Compass.

It took a long time for the sun to set and the weather was amazing so the film started a little behind schedule at around 9.45pm (on a school night)! Fortunately there was no rain and it stayed warm enough to be outside even as the film ended at just after midnight. There was a slight mist by the end which you could see in front of the screen and the light from the projector was gorgeous.

We got to have a little walk around the grounds before the film started and watched the sunset over the valley. Then I thought watching Les Miserables for the second time this year might be a little boring but actually I enjoyed it just as much as the first time. I was blown away by the two best songs in the film and the performances of Anne Hathaway and Eddie Redmayne, so much so that it got me wondering about the performance and script enough to write this post.

Anyway I'd like to thank the organisers and Marlow FM for the ticket. It was a magical evening and a superb film. I hope they do it again next year and I'm now going to keep an eye out for more films being shot at Hedsor House in the future.

More from I Love That Film:

Les Misérables Review

Obnoxious Cinema-goers Beware

Ever wondered what could be done about those texting, tweeting, loud chatting, smelly food eating twats that fill the back rows of cinemas all over the country?

Wonder no more.  The Prince Charles Cinema has the answer.

I really hope this is true.  My question is: What happens after this photo is taken?

Feel free to fill in the blanks.  Broken necks too severe for you?

I Love That Blog Post #5

 This week I have mostly been reading....

After weeks of chastising the modern cinema experience, Scott celebrates going to the movies http://www.frontroomcinema.com/midweek-mumble-20-things-i-love-about-going-to-the-cinema/

 Cinematic Corner keeps sharing the goodies on Prometheus… this time a very interesting short featurette http://cinematiccorner.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/god-does-not-build-in-straight-lines.html

Movies on my Mind has a fascinating piece on slavesploitation and where Django Unchained fits in with this forgotten sub-genre http://movies-on-my-mind.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/slavesploitation-genre-that-shocked.html

Another one from Cinematic Corner- a great comparison of the visuals in Black Swan and Shame http://cinematiccorner.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/visual-parallels-black-swan-shame.html

Counting down the best Bruce Wayne’s with Top 10 Films http://www.top10films.co.uk/archives/11916

A great rant from City Lights questioning if Jaws will still be considered a classic in 20 years 

http://lauragrandefilm.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/movie-rant-20-years-from-now-will-jaws.html

The Ten Best Actors Relay race goes on and on and this latest addition from Flickers includes an excellent choice!  http://theflickersblog.com/2012/05/15/the-ten-best-actors-of-all-time-relay/

If you haven't already read these, check them out!

I Love That Blog Post #3

Happy weekend everybody!  I'm off to a wedding!  Love weddings!  Some further weekend reading for you visitors!

An interesting and different take on why cinema etiquette is a problem from Myfilmviews with some brave admissions of former guilt thrown in! http://myfilmviews.com/2012/04/24/disruptive-behaviour-at-the-cinema-understandable/#comment-7575

Scott returns with another mumble on mobile phone use in the cinema and introduces me to the terrifying prospect of tweet seats.

http://www.frontroomcinema.com/midweek-mumble-why-is-it-so-hard-to-have-good-cinema-etiquette-4-mobile-phones/

If you haven’t seen the new pictures from Django Unchained featuring the devilish DiCaprio, then check them out here at Anomalous Material

http://www.anomalousmaterial.com/movies/2012/04/first-official-look-at-quentin-tarantinos-django-unchained/

GO VOTE on your favourite Nolan film now at The Focused Filmographer! http://thefocusedfilmographer.com/2012/04/24/its-time-to-vote-tuesday-96/

Ruth’s got the trailer for ‘Lawless’.  This film looks awesome! http://flixchatter.net/2012/04/24/this-just-in-john-hillcoats-lawless-trailer/#comment-24499

Harry Potter fans can drool over Daniel’s write up of the new tour at Warner Bros studios http://www.top10films.co.uk/archives/11519/comment-page-1#comment-178573

I Love That Blog Post #2

Happy weekend everybody!  Just in case you need a little extra reading for the weekend, here's just a few blog posts I really enjoyed from the past week!  Please enjoy!

A surprisingly short list of people from the film world who have made it onto Time’s top 100 most influential people list courtesy of I Luv Cinema

http://iluvcinema.com/2012/04/the-world-of-cinema-is-represented-in-time-magazines-100-most-influential-list/comment-page-1/#comment-39537

Ruth and Ted are playing the ‘next Bond’ guessing game over at Flixchatter http://flixchatter.net/2012/04/18/007-chatter-seven-actors-we-think-could-play-james-bond/

The debate about cinema etiquette gets a kick in the backside from the team at Front Room Cinema.  This latest on food and drink struck a particular chord with me.

http://www.frontroomcinema.com/midweek-mumbling-why-is-it-so-hard-to-have-good-cinema-etiquette-3-food-and-drink/

Asrap looks at retro superhero movies...  I had no idea there were this many! http://whoathisisheavy.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/retro-superhero-movies.html

Comparing the Cabin in the Woods and The Hunger Games... a very interesting article http://them0vieblog.com/2012/04/19/does-cabin-in-the-woods-out-hunger-games-the-hunger-games/

Bonjour Tristesse gives an overview of the films competing for the Palme D’Or this year at Cannes.

http://www.bonjourtristesse.net/2012/04/2012-cannes-film-festival-official.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+blogspot%2FcmCTn+%28Bonjour+Tristesse%29

The Cinema Experience

Just started a creative writing course and my first assignment was to write about somewhere that excites me.  So what else would I choose except the cinema?  Here's my piece on the wonder, the excitement, and the anticiaption of sitting in the cinema.  It made my tutor laugh, I hope all you cinema-goers will be able to relate.

Mumbling couples shuffle quickly towards the door, ticket stubs still in hand.  As we enter, the huge screen is black and the lighting is dim.  The little lights on the floor lead the way through the rows of seats, like they say will happen in an emergency on a plane.  Follow the lights to your nearest exit.  Stay low, avoid the smoke.  But there is no smoke here, no plane, and no stewardesses.  We spy seats near the middle of the cinema and aim for them. 

Just getting to the seats is always an amusing challenge.  Early birds have been sitting in their seats for some time, staring blankly at the blank screen, scoffing down popcorn and slurping on gigantic drinks that would quench the thirst of an entire African nation.  And My God the looks they can give when you dare to ask to squeeze past.  Their faces contort as they hug their oversized tub of popcorn to their chests.  They look like they are protecting a baby from a madman.  They don’t stand; they tut accusingly and move their legs to the side and grip that popcorn like it might be their last meal.  We squeeze through and take our seats, muttering apologies for our intrusion.

As we sit, the lights dim further and blackness descends on the room.  The screen lights up, the sound booms forth from strategically positioned speakers and finally the sound of crunching popcorn is subdued.  Adverts unlike those on TV fill the screen.  They are huge, cinematic, colourful, funny and sometimes breathtaking in the beautiful imagery.  Advert after advert bombards us.  It’s impossible not to listen as the music, the speech and the sounds fill the room.  The only things that can tear my eyes from the screen now are the occasional bursts of light from the seats in front of me.  As soon as someone takes their fancy phone from their pockets, the display flashes up bright white.  My eyes are drawn and I hope that this is just them putting their phone on silent for the duration of the film.

As the adverts for random products make way for the movie trailers, I rub my hands with glee.  This is sometimes the highlight of the whole experience of cinema-going.  I’ve already calculated what trailers might be on before this film, making educated guesses from the genre, the stars and the target audience.  But sometimes there is an unexpected one.  Perhaps a trailer I have yet to watch on the internet.  If the audience has not been quiet by now, this is usually the point when silence prevails.  We all sit spellbound, staring intently at the astonishing visuals on screen.  And God forbid someone comes in once the trailers have started.  Oh how the tables turn now.  As they try to squeeze past, I stare with righteous venom spitting out of my eyes.  If I had popcorn, I’d hug it close.  Who are these interlopers and why do they not own watches?

How do you feel about the modern cinema experience?  Still worth the rising price of tickets or is home cinema an investment that can change your life? What annoys, frustrates or delights you about being in the cinema?