Well you could see a ton of Sergio Leone flicks or the aptly titled Django. You should have already seen all of Tarantino's other films. But my list of films before you see Q.T.'s latest are below. I'll tell you the truth, I'm damn psyched to see Django Unchained as Tarantino looks primed to mix the humor and violence the likes we haven't seen since Pulp. I can see Christopher Waltz and Jamie Foxx playing a perfect Jules/Vincent duo but we will get a DiCaprio that would make Hans Landa and Marsellus Wallace cringe.
But before we see this probable masterpiece on Christmas, here's some films that you should check out before the white man gets his ass stuffed with cotton.
5.) Boss Nigger
The Jaded Viewer says: Fred Williamson as a black bounty hunter in an all white town. And it's a western? Yup. Look at this plot (via IMDB)
Two black bounty hunters ride into a small town out West in pursuit of
an outlaw. They discover that the town has no sheriff, and soon take
over that position, much against the will of the mostly white townsfolk.
They raise hell, chase women, and milk the locals for cash, while
waiting for the opportunity to get their man.
4.) Black Dynamite
The Jaded Viewer says: It's the funniest blaxsploitation spoof in recent years (check out my review) If you're just looking for straight laughs, you need to see this flick. Michael Jai White is hilarious. It's the next generation's I'm Gonna Git You Sucka.
3.) Sukiyaki Western Django
The Jaded Viewer says: I think Quentin Tarantino would agree with this pick as he is in Takashi Miike's crazy take on the spaghetti western. Haven't you ever wanted to see Japanese speak western twang, samurai swords and all out craziness. Who knows? Maybe Tarantino even took a few things from SWD and brought it onto Django Unchained.
2.) El Topo
The Jaded Viewer says: Alejando Jodorowsky's El Topo created the midnight movie. It's so surreal and insanely crazy, the trailer says it's not even a western. It goes beyond it. I loved this film the first time I saw it. Just a pure mindfuck in ever conceivable way. I wouldn't be surprised if we saw some elements of El Topo in Django Unchained.
1.) Goodbye Uncle Tom
The Jaded Viewer says: What the most fucked up movie about slavery disguised as a black power movie? Mondo Cane directors Gualtiero Jacopetti and Franco Prosperi deliverthat to you and some. I still can't get that image of a little white girl racing through a field with a little black boy in chains. I'm pretty sure Q.T. saw this flick and said I could make something better. It's kinda messed up, but if you ever wanted to see Amistad but on steroids, this is it.
Do you have any other films you think should be on this list? Chime in and let me know your thoughts of Django Unchained!
If you've been a regular reader of this blog, you know I've covered everything about Black Dynamite on this here blog. From the awesome trailers to a review of the movie, to a press packet to "Fight Smack in the Orphanage!", to its DVD release, to the animated series announcement and coverage about the upcoming comic book.
I'm a Black Dynamite fan through and through.
So when I was lucky enough to get an early copy of the first issue of Black Dynamite: Slave Island, I was happier than a dude at an orgy. Thanks to Scott Sanders, Ars Nova and Ape Marketing for making this happen. I am hear to tell you that this first issue lives up to everything the movie was so awesome at. Blaxploitation hilarity, 70s throwbackness and hysterical ads.
So what's the plot?
Released by indie publisher Ape Entertainment with a story by Michael Jai White, Byron Minns, and Scott Sanders, the one-shot Black Dynamite: Slave Island follows our hero as he seeks to put an end to a mysterious island… where an insidious 19th century legacy of The Man still exists.
Here's my review!
the jaded viewer says: Black Dynamite the movie spun the whole blaxploitation satire into a whole new realm with our hero Black Dynamite, a secret agent and legendary stallion reaching cult status. Slave Island is a pseudo sequel as BD continues to fight the oppression of his people in any form it takes.
And in Slave Island, the form is really fucked up.
When BD hears the story from a survivor of a mysterious island where slavery still exists, he takes it upon himself to recify the situation immediately. He gets to the island and realizes the fuckedupness of "Slave Island" is more dastardly than he realized. It's a vacation spot for whitey where the past has been rebuilt in all its evil glory. The slaves are mentally and physically abused and BD realizes what he needs to do. To put it bluntly he has to "burn this motherfucker down".
And so BD moves forward with his one man revolution. But it's not as easy as pootang pie. In a classic preposterous scene he battles a shark underwater!?!? (I can tell you this was more awesome than zombie vs shark) , gets captured and gets sold in an auction. This leads to seeing the "mandingo" in action as he satisfies his new white mistress.
Suffice it to say, BD doesn't just use violence to get the job done but words (in a speech that echoes MLK he gets the slaves on his side). But violence is way better than words and we get some awesome carnage the only way BD can deliver.
The artwork is pretty solid echoing the old 70s/80s style of comics. It actually looks like a comic full of wear and tear. The colors are nice and vibrant and the panels are strategically aligned. All in all, its like you picked up a comic book from 30 years ago.
The story and the writing is freakin brilliant. Written by Brian Ash from a story by Michael Jai White, Byron Minis and Scott Sanders, it's so Black Dynamite-ish to a tee. The dialogue is cleverly clever and the absurdity of each successive scene never wavers.
BD battles Hicks and his henchmen and it echoes the flavor of the original film.
Black Dynamite: Slave Island is a masterpiece of blaxpsploitation satire, hilarity and outrageousness. There are satirical ads for ex football player Farrante Jones throughout the comic which are brilliantly awesome. These are little throwbacks to ads that ran in every comic published back in the day. Even a brochure with a map of Slave Island is included which made me LOL.
Black Dynamite is a modern day hero who has the kung fu skills to fix the injustices of our world while single handily satisfying the thirst of women everywhere. Women want to be with him while men want to be him. But not everybody can free slaves from a Disney-fied whitey paradise. Only Black Dynamite can do it. He's got the brains, the brawn and the 'tude. So make sure you see him do his thang.
"Your knowledge of scientific biological transmogrification is only matched by your zest of kung-fu treachery"
With lines like that, it was no doubt Black Dynamite got 4 out of 4 spinkicks. But I didn't know we'd see our Black as Spades hero again until recently. Then Scott Sanders dropped me a line to let me know that the new animated Black Dynamite series is coming to Adult Swim in 2011. Kick ass!
Sure we're going to see a toned down version of our hero but Black Dynamite fits in perfectly. Here's some of the vitals.
First from the comic book.
Released by indie publisher Ape Entertainment with a story by Michael Jai White, Byron Minns, and myself, the one-shot Black Dynamite: Slave Island follows our hero as he seeks to put an end to a mysterious island… where an insidious 19th century legacy of The Man still exists.
Info about the animated series.
As well, we are hard at work on Black Dynamite: The Animated Series for [adult swim]. The show is Executive Produced by Carl Jones (The Boondocks) and will take BLACK DYNAMITE to a new level.
The first stop to see exclusive pictures, comics and footage? New York Comic Con. Here's the screening info.
Screening of BLACK DYNAMITE Saturday, October 9 8:00 PM Hosted by Ape Entertainment and Ars Nova
BLACK DYNAMITE Panel Saturday, October 9 Immediately preceding the BLACK DYNAMITE Screening
Featuring Scott Sanders, Adrian Younge and Andre Torres (Wax Poetics)
**SNEAK PEEK**: First look at clips from the upcoming Black Dynamite: The Animated Series on [adult swim]
All attendees will receive their very own Black Dynamite: Slave Island preview book, written by Brian Ash (The Boondocks), with inks by Jun LoFamia and featuring a special edition sketch cover by Ed Laroche.
Did you know that if you purchase Black Dynamite on Blu Ray or DVD you SAVE an orphan from being addicted from smack???
You didn't know that did you? Well it's true. I know you guys don't want to see a 6 year old, addicted to smack breaking into your home, playing your Xbox 360, drinking a Dr. Pepper and then selling your horror collection for a fix.
So do something about it! By purchasing Black Dynamite, you get that kid off the street and into a detox program where he will be given the best in medical treatment (or what's under Black Dynamite's health coverage, plus he gets a lollipop and a dollar worth of quarters for the local arcade).
If that doesn't convince you, then check out the links below.
Don't worry, my Top 10 Horror Movies of 2009 is coming next month (early January). But I wanted to make a list of some of the best non-horror movies I saw this year. I've broken out into the "Box Office Elephants" (your standard summer blockbusters) and the "You heard of these and you still didn't go see it" (straight to DVD, independents, DVDs picked up by US distributors, etc.)
Some of these movies were awesome, some were awesome if you went in with low expectations (ahem G.I. Joe, Terminator) and some were sleeper hits that totally shocked me with how mega-rific they were.
Let's look back on 2009 and see how Hollywood's summer elephants took on the mice of the independent scene.
"Box Office Elephants"
The LOLs
1.) The Hangover
the jaded viewer says: The best comedy of 2009. Nuff said.
2.) Bruno
the jaded viewer says: Not has good as Borat but the shock moments live up to the hype. Bruno brought about Middle East peace...in latex. 3.) Capitalism: A Love Story
the jaded viewer says: Love em or hate em, Michael Moore can turn our economic depression into ironic ha ha's.
the jaded viewer says: Easily one of the best movies of 2009. The satire is pretty obvious but Blomkamp blends in alien buggers seemlessly into our world and they have personality! 2.) Star Trek
the jaded viewer says: Even if you aren't a Trekkie, you now know who James Tiberius Kirk is. But Spock easily steals the show by being more emotional than a WWE wrestler.
the jaded viewer says: You really needed to read the graphic novel to get the subtleties of what Watchmen was all about. But Zach Snyder really did make a great movie out of the holy grail of graphic novels Alan Moore/Dave Gibbons Watchmen. 5.) Terminator: Salvation
the jaded viewer says: A lot of people really thought this was awful. Well, I didn't think so. I thought it captured the essence of the Future War that was always talked about. John Connor's scar origin, Arnold's cameo and Kyle Reese and Marcus are brought to life. McG did a solid job here. "You heard of these and you still didn't go see it"
the jaded viewer says: I gave this movie 4 spinkicks! What more needs to be said? Blaxploitation ha ha's at its freakin finest. Here's an actual line spoken by Black Dynamite:
"Your knowledge of scientific biological transmogrification is only matched by your zest of kung-fu treachery"
the jaded viewer says: It's hard to describe this "superhero" movie from Japan but take a bit of Ultraman and mix in Godzilla and you have Big Man Japan. You gotta take my word on this. You will laugh yourself into a coma when you see this.
the jaded viewer says: Not an indie by any stretch, you may have missed Jason Statham's return as Chev Chelios (and his faulty artificial heart). Chev, Amy Smart and a horesetrack. If you've seen it, you know what I mean.
the jaded viewer says: Tony Jaa makes it look so easy. Not as good as the original, the stunts and action sequences here are still vintage Jaa and you won't get bored when knees, elbows and spinkicks are clobbering henchmen.
the jaded viewer says: The best independent movie to come out this year. It's visually eye candy, a lovely story and filled with characters and dreams you wish you could dream about.
the jaded viewer says: Grime and crime noir at its best. David Noele Burke's films echoes Tarantino but turns in a crime fairy tale. Good times. 3.) The Local
the jaded viewer says: It's like a Bukowski poem come to life. Crime drama with some kick, Dan Eberle's NYC indie is filled with lowlife characters and an anti-hero with a heart.
You've all seen the elephants, I think you should try to feed the mice. Many of these films are available on Netflix, Amazon and other big box stores. If you need to go to the official site to purchase, seriously buy yourself a present this Christmas and get em. You won't be disappointed.
Did I miss one's on your list? Got any recommendations for me? Go and leave a comment and let me know. Like I said, my Top 10 Horror Movies of 2009 is coming soon (once I see the flicks I missed this year).
Well this is a rare Saturday post because we have an emergency.
Did you know if you go to the theater and watch Black Dynamite an orphan gets detoxed from smack?
You didn't know that did you. Well it's true. I know you guys don't want to see a 6 year old, addicted to smack breaking into your home looking for some loose change so he can get his next fix.
So do something about it! By donating money to see Black Dynamite, you get that kid off the street and into a detox program where he will be given the best in medical treatment (plus he gets a lollipop and a a dollar worth of quarters for the local arcade).
In all seriousness, Black Dynamite has gotten this theatrical run due to the blogs, fan hype and word of mouth. But this has not equaled box office success. If the movie doesn't get more dead presidents, it'll be pulled from it's theatrical run.
So let's get crackin. Do it for the orphans and for the blaxploitation engine that could.
If that doesn't convince you, then check out the links below.
"Listen sucka, I'm blacker than the ace of spades and more militant than you and your whole damn army put together"
"Your knowledge of scientific biological transmogrification is only matched by your zest of kung-fu treachery"
"Freeze you jive time suckas!"
Those are just some of the lines that Black Dynamite utters when kicking The Man's ass and dealing with some jive ass turkeys. There are a few more quotey quotables that had me on the fuckin ground. But the dialogue is only a tiny smack vial in this great movie which undoubtedly will be one of my Top 10 Movies of 2009.
Black Dynamite leap frogs up top to the best the blaxploitation parody genre has to offer. I'm Gonna Git You Sucka, Don't be a Menace..., Undercover Brother, Friday are classics in this but nobody has had the balls to go all out and never stop, 70s style. The jokes are a mile a minute, the dialogue is spoof-irific, every gag scene is gag-tastic and the look and feel make you feel your back in the 70s. The movie, running about 90 minutes doesn't stop in its genius comedy of ripping apart the blaxploitation gimmicks and logical illogics. It's a black time capsule of spoof. If you've seen the blaxsploitation classics its spoofing it becomes 100 times better. Shaft, Coffy and something I recently saw, Black Gestapo are utterly parodied to perfection.
I haven't laughed that hard since seeing Black Devil Doll because the beauty of being ridiculous is making sure the audience knows you're being ridiculous. So self aware is Black Dynamite, when we close in on a gratuitous closeup stare by our super brotha, we know he knows we know. You dig?
Boring Plot-O-Matic
When “The Man” murders his brother, pumps heroin into local orphanages, and floods the ghetto with adulterated malt liquor, Black Dynamite is the one hero willing to fight all the way from the blood-soaked city streets to the hallowed halls of the Honky House.
Awesome Review-O-Matic
So for this review, I get quotable. It's the only way I can get through my random thoughts on the flick.
"Anaconda Malt Liquor gives you ooooooooooooo"
From the opening scene of a TV ad for Anaconda Malt Liquor to the closing credits (extra scenes at the end for you IMDB crazy credits peeps), the gags start right off and they don't let up. Our man Black Dynamite (Michael Jai White) is the complete package. A former orphan, he's a player's playa with the ladies, an ex Vietman Vet, CIA agent and a soul brotha soldier. But when his brother gets killed, he has to exact revenge and clean up the streets.
"Who the hell is interrupting my kung fu?"
Many of the best scenes are parodies of kung fu flicks. BD is a numchuck master and the fight scenes are classic editing craziness. It's full of brute punches and Street Fighter kicks, BD has unlimited hit points. I even expected a hadouken to spawn.
"Black Dynamite, that was the best lovin I've ever had"
The ladies can't stand the smile (or lack thereof) of the man. They become butter in his fingers. BD taps the ass of many fine beauties and the the movie doesn't let up on some fine ass boobies. As BD courts smart sista Gloria, it's classic beauty and the beast. Just don't call Gloria a beast.
OK, I'm going to try condense my thoughts and just get to the chicken and donuts of this review. There are a ton of baddies who wanna take down Black Dynamite. These include:
1.) Pimps and drug dealers dealin smack in the orphanage 2.) The corrupt cops 3.) The Man 4.) Dr. Wu 5.) The President
All are dispatched of in true Black Dynamite style with "Dynamite! Dynamite!" jingles and throwaway one liners. There are gags o plenty that are utterly magnificent. An unlit cigarette being smoked, a boom hits an afro, an overused car explosion, kids suffering from smack addiction in the orphanage, yada yada yada. I'll be ruining the flick if I told you anymore. You dig?
The all star cast cameos can't be ignored as well. Again, just sit back and watch as cameos flood the screen. If you don't recognize some of these pimps and drug dealers (guess who Tasty Freeze and Kotex and Chicago Wind are), you should be shot with a hand cannon. Michael Jai White is flawless in his performance, reciting jive talk like Jay Z lyricalling lyrics. Some of the lines are intentionally off then quickly corrected and White sells his persona and his physique (I mean he was Spawn and Tyson right?) to the max. Black Dynamite's army also shines like hot sauce on a donut. Tommy Davidson plays Cream Corn who has Katt Williams like pimpitude. Bullhorn, another friend-dude helps BD kick some motherfuckin ass.
Finally, the look and feel of Black Dynamite make you DeLorean into the past. The soundtrack is jazzed and funked up. The intentional blurry closeups, bad editing and fade ins and outs are cinema styilized for maximum effect. The sound effects are played like a soundboard and you can't ignore the use of 4th wall breaking with closeups galore.
All in all, you get one of the funniest film spoofs to hit the screen since Austin Powers. I never had so much fun watching a movie this year. Michael Jai White and director Scott Sanders in attendance, saw a very predominant crowd of non honkies LOL and ROFL for 90 minutes straight. I'm sure it was thrill for them to see NYC represent in this sold out screening.
Sure you can see a Eisenberg/Cera suburban self aware comedy, but when you get tired of the vanilla, that's where Black Dynamite comes in. It's pure chocolate deliciousness, topped with hot fudge and a cherry. And don't you want to see Black Dynamite pop that cherry? You dig?
Nude-ipedia
Black boobies White boobies Asian boobies It's a multicultural collection of boobies!
WTF moment
The demise of Dr. Wu by a clever and very fast Black Dynamite
The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis Black Dynamite opens nationwide October 16th. I'm not sure if it will get wide distribution but if it does, you MUST SEE THIS FILM.
At first, when I saw the trailer months ago I thought this was an actual blaxploitation movie for the new millenium. What I saw yesterday was better. Black Dynamite hits on all those funny bones of every blaxploitaiton spoof plus being a blaxploitation movie in itself, it balances it out nicely so that you get the best of both worlds. This easily gets 4 spinkicks.
The movie ends on an apology as Black Dynamite says: "I'm sorry I pimped slapped you into that china cabinet". If you don't see this movie, I may be doing that to all of you jive ass suckas!
I'm super amped up to see this flick and you should be too. I'm going to get ready by drinking a 40 of some Anaconda Malt Liquor and also fighting that damn smack in the orphanage. You should too. I mean these little orphans are hooked and prostituting by the age of 2 for shits sake.
My review will be up tomorrow (hopefully if I don't drink to much Anaconda). For now, check out some exclusive clips from some jibber jabbering cult sites FunnyorDie and OnSmash.com.
OnSmack.com Black Firecracker TNT with Ebony Explosion “Black Dynamite's Dojo”
FunnyorDie.com's Fight Smack in the Orphanage "Man on the Street
I received a press packet from an organization calling itself FSITO or Fight Smack in the Orphanage. Included in this packet of awesome stuff was:
A letter detailing their goals and history
That awesome t-shirt above
2 Fight Smack stickers
An awesome syringe pen
A Fight Smack in the Orphanage DVD with 3 different PSAs
FSITO is devoted to stopping smack and carrying out "smack-downs" in areas where there is a smack epidemic.
As their info page tells us:
In 1973, feminist writer/child advocate Gloria Grey published her seminal best-seller We Are A Gentle Angry People: The Rise of Orphan Smack Addiction in the Latter Half of the Twentieth Century. Though it was often filled with inaccuracies, misconceptions, factual errors, and plagiarized portions of unpublished Jacqueline Suzanne novels, it managed to catch of eye of community leader, Marion Barry - the godfather of the anti-Smack movement of the early 70s.
Fuck health care! We gotta fight smack before all the kids are hooked by all those malevolent addicting drugs. Go here to help.
Because as the FSITO motto says: Because Orphans Don't Have Parents.
**WTF was that all about?**
If you haven't guessed it, FSITO is promo, viral happiness for Black Dynamite, the blaxploitation badass masterpiece that comes out October 16th. You can check out the trailer here. And more viral videos complete with a vintage Anaconda Malt Liquor ad as well.
Thanks to the PR people from Black Dynamite for sending these awesome promo materials.
I'll be posting more Black Dynamite viral shenanigans as we get em. Shut yo mouth!
As I eagerly wait for promo materials for Black Dynamite, I'm getting into a jive motherfucka mood by reading the novelization of Black Devil Doll (book review to come soon!) and by watching a French blaxploitation trailer called Black.
Yup. I did say French blaxploitation.
Directed by Pierre Laffargue and starring MC Jean Gab'1 (he was in District B-13) it's got all the elements of The Man, stolen diamonds and our star Black, who is one tough motherfucker.
Here be the plot.
When his Parisian armored car holdup goes horribly awry, our protagonist Black needs to go on the lam. News from his cousin in Senegal about a stash of uncut diamonds in a poorly guarded bank in Dakar hatches the plan to go on a working vacation that involves a little sightseeing and a lot of mayhem.
I recently received e-mails from Scott Sanders, director of Black Dynamite and Shawn Lewis, writer of Black Devil Doll which gave me a happy. It's awesome when both dudes give you props for supporting and giving interweb buzz for their films.
First let's start with Black Dynamite, which screened at the Tribeca Film Festival (which I missed catching it at).
The official release date is October 16, 2009.
Also, the black forces of power Sanders and star Michael Jai White will be at this year's San Diego Comic Con.
The panels they'll be at are below.
The Black Panel
Saturday, July 25
10:00 AM / 5AB
Featuring Ludacris, Kel Mitchell, Prodigal Sunn, Reggie Hudlin, Denys Cowan and BD Team Member Michael Jai White
The Black DYNAMITE Panel
Saturday, July 25
6:30 PM
Hosted by Elvis Mitchell
Featuring Scott Sanders, Michael Jai White, Salli Richardson-Whitfield, Byron Minns, and Cedric Yarbrough
Never before seen clips and more viral videos are a coming like this one where Black Dynamite and Supreme Court nominee Judge Sonia Sotomayor agree on numchucks.
Now on to Black Devil Doll which will have it's last theatrical screening in NYC. I'm definitely going to be at that one so say what's what and give the jaded viewer a shoutout mofo!
Shawn Lewis dropped some motherfuckin one sheets of the film and get this...the movie's got a MOTHERFUCKIN TIE IN NOVEL!
You heard me straight you jive ass fool. A sequel novel!
Check out the images below and click on them for a more detailed look.
Well share the horror wealth I always say. I recently reviewed Cheerbleeders last week and I thought it kicked ass. Now you too can check it out but only for 2 week.s
Black Dynamite premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival last week. The reviews have been coming in and they're all MOTHERFUCKING fantastic. The movie comes out theatrically on 9/4.
Check out new clip from the movie below.
And finally I have to be a super duper double dipper and self promote. If you like what you've been reading of late from the jaded viewer and you are part of the awesomeness of the LAMB, please vote me for a LAMMY.
I think I could get some votes for funniest writer or best rating system (i mean i rate via frakin JCVD spinkicks!)
That is all for now. Remember, when Skynet attacks, I'll be the guy first on line at the time displacement machine.
"Now you see me where I'm coming from you jive MOTHERFUCKER!!!!"
That's how the trailer concludes for Black Dynamite which I got to say looks fuckin awesome. With the influx of revival grindhouse and exploitation flicks coming out this year (see Hell Ride, Bitch Slap, Black Devil Doll), Black Dynamite might pull off the impossible.
Directed by Scott Sanders, Black Dyanmite stars Michael Jai White as 1970s African-American action legend Black Dynamite.
The Man killed his brother, pumped heroin into local orphanages, and flooded the ghetto with adulterated malt liquor. Black Dynamite was the one hero willing to fight The Man all the way from the blood-soaked city streets to the hallowed halls of the Honky House..
BD pimps up black women, white women and asian women alike. He kicks ass with killer kung fu mojo and makes honkies pay because "he carries 2 guns, one to stop trouble and one to make trouble".
Fuckin A.
Check out the official red band trailer below.
This is going to fuckin rock. Check out the clip below as Black Dynamite meets Barry. Also, check out the official site and the Facebook and MySpace pages.
Clever isn't it? Black Dynamite is going to kick ass, literally.