Showing posts with label eli roth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label eli roth. Show all posts

Friday, November 08, 2013

The Green Inferno (Review)


The Green Inferno
The Green Inferno (2013)
Directed by Ei Roth

"I wonder who the real cannibals are."

-Professor Harold Monroe

Its funny. Every now and then I'll check my stats and realize this post "Top 5 Cannibal Movies Of All Time" will get some traffic. It's an old post, the videos don't work anymore but it still resonates with people searching for the exploitation of old. The cannibal genre.

I've been itching to see The Green Inferno ever since I heard Eli Roth was making of it. I knew this genre was in good hands as Roth knows the people who made the genre what it is. He's well aware horror mavericks like myself will compare it to Ruggero Deodato's Cannibal Holocaust and Uberto Lenzi's Cannibal Ferox. But he preambled the NYC premiere of The Green Inferno by saying that it was a different kind of cannibal film and that we need to put what we know of those films in a vault and take The Green Inferno as it is.

And what it is, it's an Eli Roth cannibal film. And it's fuckin awesome.

The Green Inferno is a buffet of modern day exploitation and wicked satire with a heaping spoonful of blood, guts and splatter.  This is probably the best movie Roth has ever made. His other films only touched on fleeting fears, but with The Green Inferno, his scathing critique of slacktivism is smart as it is millennial.  Generation Y is in the crosshairs and Roth scalps them cleanly by using every tool in his horror arsenal. It's a fun romp seeing good-doers face ultimate terror by the people they are there to protect. The cannibals are unleashed and make no apologies for who and why they are. It's fuckin brutal and fuckin glorious. What we have here jaded viewers is a perfect game within the horror exploitation trope. This is as good as it gets.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

A group of student activists travel from New York City to the Amazon to save a dying tribe but crash in the jungle and are taken hostage by the very natives they protected.


Awesome Review-O-Matic

If only our slacktivists had read this list, they'd probably be alive.

With The Green Inferno, we see the pillars of the horror and exploitation genre mixed in. Our final girl Justine (Lorenza Izzo) a student at Columbia University in NYC learns about the modern day horrors of the world she lives in and feels obligated to do something (see white guilt). Her roommate Kaycee (Sky Ferriera) is like the rest of us. Her 'tude: That shit isn't my problem. When she meets some hippie radicals led by Alejandro (Ariel Levy) she self motivates herself to join them to stop the evil corporations from bulldozing the native tribes homes in Peru.

The set up is of course designed to ridicule this new Twitter world of hashtag slacktivism. Conversations in the film echo how real world change is a process instead of a viral video. Ignoring this practical advice, the group has their sights on live streaming the horror from the Amazon with hashtags and shaky phone cams. Roth alluded to the KONY video and how a like and retweet are now the methods Millennials show they are smart, pseudo activists and PC.  Rarely does anybody get off their ass to do something real. Such is the world we live in and as these American kids see how the 3rd world lives it's full of full frontal irony.

These are bookends of The Green Inferno. Roth forces us to chug how we think the world should be with what it really is. But in between we get chock full of the wickedest slaughter I've ever seen on film.

The gore and splatter hit high marks all around in Inferno. You can thank Make Up Effects guru Greg Nicotero of The Walking Dead fame for some of that. The spectacular plane crash with stunning  "Oh Shit!" kills to the slice and dice meals for our natives are spectacularly done. Body parts are removed, ocular and mouth trauma will make gorehounds happy and yes, we get heads on poles.  Roth homages Deodato and Lenzi and if you have a keen eye (or have watched Cannibal Holocaust 1000x) you'll see them. It's cruel deaths in it's most undiluted form. It has spectacular bloody kills, even more than all the Hostel films put together.

Within this chaotic blood-o-rams are colorful cannibals that bring another dimension to the savages. They are not evil per say, but more so uncivilized which probably is more frightening to the city dwellers. Led by a queen and an enforcer, the cannibals are happy to be munching on what they perceive as the real savages. Their meals are our worst fear and though we should detest their actions, it's more of a WTF, it's who they are type attitude. The funny part of all of this is that Roth and his crew used real natives who had never seen a real film before and were even amazed by ice cubes. Lots of indie DIY filmmaking too. The realness shows here, on the faces of the tribe playing a fictional secluded tribe and more so in the children who mock and are intrigued by our gringos. Roth puts in his own touch on real animals doing real shhit but not as fucked up as Deoadato's real life cruelty.

So you'd think a movie with sharp critiques and splatter would be a straightforward horror film. But with Roth, the gags, funnies and humor all seem to find a balance in Inferno. You'll see it play out between the students, the cannibals and in the fact that somebody is getting chopped up and fuckin eaten. In this most absurd premise, Roth makes the hashtag #cannibalsgetthemunchies take on a whole new different meaning.

The performance by Lorenza Izzo is solid. You feel obligated to root for her as compared to the other hotties, they play out as stereotypical panic girls. Levy's Alejandro is tall, dark and ambitiously mysterious. Comic relief comes in the form of Jonah (Aaron Burns), some stoners and a bearded hipster.

I will say a lot of people will be surprised by Eli Roth's latest flick (it's been 6 years since he directed Hostel II). It's as good as a Quentin Tarantino exploitation homage but without the long winded conversations and alternate histories. What The Green Inferno seems to show is that the cannibal film defies any decade when done in a way that is clever, insightful and has the most gut wrenching scenes of civilization gone awry. It's a genre being introduced to the generation that should be ashamed they don't know shit about what happens in the real world, but see it filtered through tweets and posts and goddamn Instagram coloring.

Who are the real cannibals?

Probably the current generation that consumes that shit, shits that shit and enjoys it all.

Fuckers.

Nude-ipedia 

Surprisingly none

Gore-ipedia 

Heaping mountains of it. It's all glorious. GLORIOUS!!!!

WTF moment 

Ants. Nuff said.

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

The Green Inferno will be in theaters next year. It's MUST SEE. It will probably be one of my best movies of 2014 list for sure (going to rank this when the flick gets a wide release). Oh lovely cannibals, how I love this fuckin genre.


 Rating:

Monday, December 17, 2012

Eli Roth's Goretorium (Review)

My travels took me to Las Vegas recently and aside from a big fight I attended and being a degenerate gambler I was able to check out the most talked about haunted house besides the one named Blackout. Eli Roth's Goretorium opened up on the Las Vegas strip in October and the premiere was as what you would expect. A who's who of stardom ranging from Roth's horror buddies to Justin Bieber. But what makes Goretorium different than a funhouse only in October is that it's year round attraction hoping to get the tourist dollar and Vegas horror fans to get their scare on.

Oddly located on the 2nd floor of mini mall, you can't help not notice the Goretorium as you walk from casino to casino on the strip. A bar is on the ready near the entrance and a horror soaked Christmas tree is ready for you to take some possible dead Santa pics. The gift shop is accessible to the masses and it's a mess of wicked Hostel themed props and propaganda. Limbs, legs, oddities and branded shot glasses are souveniers you can walk away with but the haunted house was on my radar from the start.

Clearly I should have had some liquid coverage before I went in as it would have added more to the horror high of attending a haunted house in December. As expected, there was not much of a line or crowd outside the entrance and I figured there wouldn't as people were more in a Xmas mood then a horror mood. But having met my PR contact Alex and a GM Matt, we talked briefly about what was to come. It seems I'd have to go through the HH with only Alex by my side. I should have arranged for some company but part of me wanted to have the Goretorium all to myself.

As we walked on through the entrance, it seems I had company after all in the form of a man obsessed with his phone. A bellhop explains the horrific history of a hotel and a rickety elevator starts our journey in. A fun gimmick of the evils of texting while attending a haunted house caught me off guard and I'll say it's a twist that could only come out of the mind of Eli Roth.

Roth had created a Hostel mini haunted maze for Universal Studios Haunted Horror Nights last year but Goretorium is clearly the uber amalgamation of Hostels 1 and 2 and a few more torture devices that were left on the cutting room floor. The rooms are full of the most elaborately constructed horror sets I've ever seen, equivalent to a "hot" horror set. I walked slowly from room to room hoping to take it all in and the fact nobody was in front or back of me made it 10 times better. Simple illusions were taken up a notch such as a decapitated woman's head being lifted and a torture device involving a wooden grinder machine activated by me seemingly showing a man get grounded into pieces. Lots of old school effects  had me doing double takes and I'll admit, I was dumbfounded trying to figure out how these were all pulled off.

The actors who I had thought would not give any energy in their performances were actually quite at the top of their game. They interacted with me to the fullest extent, answering my questions directly, and redirecting my sarcastic remarks with some of their own. This was amplified when I met a sarcastic bartender who kept spewing out dirty drink names with various combinations. As I pushed him to keep going, he was a Wikipedia of answers giving me Long Island Tea Baggers and such. It's the type of humor that breaks the monotony of jump scares.

The rooms were quite Hollywood-tastic. Animatronics are at a minimal and the CGI is useful where it should be. Chainsaws, body parts and all hub of torture devices are on display to get you to piss in your pants. Various women and men are in all sorts of levels of being eaten, killed and exterminated. This all climaxes at Vegas style wedding set in a chapel and reception. Walking through the aisle, I see a bride and groom on the cusp of saying their vows with a preacher when all hell breaks loose. Suffice it to say I was sprayed with some bloody arterial spraying. The reception was an orgy of zombie like actors feasting on wedding guests. The food covered in CGI maggots and it clearly was a satisfying climax to a haunted house that lasts about 20-25 minutes.


Aside from the HH, there is a great bar called the Baby Dolls Lounge that gives an awesome view of the strip. The drink specials all have horror themes such as Eli Roth's blood which I tried out. There is nothing like ending a haunted house acid trip with some yummy alcoholic beverages.

All in all, I'd have to say I had a fun time checking out the Goretorium. Roth and CEO Robert Frey have a pure home in Vegas and with an agenda of changing themes (be it Christmas, New Years and Valentine's Day)  it seems it will be a main stay for years to come. It's quite a challenge to be a year round horror themed attraction but Vegas could use some fear and scares along with their magic acts and death defying circus attractions.

With Roth's horror intellect, they have created a movie studio equivalent of visiting the sets that made Hostel memorable. If gore, torture and mind baffling effects are your idea of fun, the Goretorium is a must see. The actors I was told are true fans of the genre, who want to amplify the thrills and chills for every brave tourist who enters. From the macabre, to the freaks and geeks, to the horror fan everyman, Eli Roth's Goretorium caters to a variety of horror fandom. It's a gorehound's wet dream come to life, something Eli Roth probably had in mind.

The Vitals
Check out the trailer.



Tuesday, November 27, 2012

The 5 Best Movies from the Splat Pack


With Eli Roth about to give us The Green Inferno, a cannibal film! in the near future, I thought we should look at the filmographies of the Splat Pack, who according to Wikipedia: "The group has been credited with bringing back ultra-violent movies, as well as moving away from PG-13 rated movies and into the R-rated spectrum, all while operating with low budgets"

The names of the members are arbitrary at best. Aja, Bousman, Marshall, McLean, Roth, Rodriguez, Wan, Whannell and Zombie. But they have given us some solid motherfuckin flicks. Here are my 5 essential best movies from some of the Splat Pack directors. Chime in if you agree or disagree.

5.) Rob Zombie - The Devil's Rejects

The Jaded Viewer says: This is pure Zombie mayhem at its best. Hillbilly rednecks slaughtering in open America. Sheri Moon, Haig and Moseley are terrifying and it clicks. Lots of cringe worthy moments with that Freebird ending just pure awesomness.

4.) Alexandre Aja - Piranha 3D

The Jaded Viewer says: I didn't like Haute Tension. Too gimmicky and twisty. Piranha 3D is pure fun. Gore, boobs, gore, cheesy special effects, Riley Steele boobs, mutilated penis. It's a monster film that takes that camp horror back to the basics.

3.) Robert Rodriguez - Grindhouse Planet Terror 

The Jaded Viewer says: With R.R, you can go with the vamps or the angry Mexican but Planet Terror is the most explosive gore-riah film filled with one legged Cherry and zombied up super soldiers. I can deny the fact it's the one I can watch again over and over again in the Grindhouse double.

2.) Eli Roth - Hostel

The Jaded Viewer says:  Hostel came out in 2005. Man has it really been 7 years? Love it or hate it, it's the pinnacle film of the Splat Pack and the one that got the gorehounds spazzing again. Pure magnificent torturous fun, Bratislava is now destination #1 for foreigners looking to get their death on. You can't deny Hostel's impact on all the films that have come after.

1.) Neil Marshall - The Descent 

The Jaded Viewer says: The Descent is the best film any of the filmmakers from the Splat Pack and Neil Marshall's Dog Soldiers is awesome, it's The Descent that will stand out as good old solid awesome horror.
Why Juno why????

Any other filmmakers that should gain Splat Pack status? Want to add your own list? Comment away! It's the damn internet right too!

Monday, June 04, 2012

5 Things I Learned from Cannibal Movies

With all this talk of Eli Roth's The Green Inferno, the cannibal movie is poised to make a comeback. I mean we haven't seen an awesome full native vs white man cannibal movie since the 80s. We've seen cannibal parodies and Bruno Mattei flicks. Hopefully Eli Roth will stick to the formula that have made Deodato and Lenzi horror household names. In a nutshell the white man must pay for trying to civilize the uncivilized.

When will they ever listen?

But what have we learned from the best cannibal movies of all time?

1.) The white man thinks he knows it all

When will the white man learn he can't control the cannibal natives. Be it for TV ratings or brainwashing the population, shit always hits the fan. Leave the poor blue smurfs alone (sorry wrong movie). All your technology doesn't mean shit when you got an arrow in the knee.

2.) Brains, Eyeballs and intenstines are fuckin tasty

Don't judge the natives because they like eating human sushi.

3.) The natives win because they have home court advantage

Civilized people don't know shit about the jungle. Can they swing through trees? Fuck no. Do they know the shortcuts to the river? Hell no. Natives know everything. You can run but no way can you hide.

4.) Documentary filmmakers have short life spans

It doesn't even have to be death by cannibals. I can only imagine the malaria, flesh eating virus and other fatal things that one can get in the jungle.

5.) When you see a body with a fuckin pole through somebody's mouth, it's time to fuckin leave

I mean it's common sense.

*********************************************
Do you have others? Chime in below! What do you think about Eli Roth's new movie? Will it live up to Holocause, Ferox?

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving from The Jaded Viewer!

I know everybody will put up the Eli Roth Grindhouse trailer so I might as well to. The interesting thing here is that Thanksgiving is going to supposedly be a full length movie. It'll be interesting to see if it can be awesome like Machete was. Hell, I wanna see a longer, extended cut of the cheerleader trampoline scene.

In any case, don't piss off any pilgrims this Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving from The Jaded Viewer!




Tuesday, April 27, 2010

My 12 cents on the Piranha 3D Teaser Trailer

So the Piranha 3D Teaser is out. If you haven't seen, you can watch it below. Insano Steve and I talked yesterday on remakes and his thoughts were Hollywood should make remakes on bad movies and not GOOD movies. I agree.

Remake Phantasm or Leprechaun or some other crappy movie. But leave the Elm Streets alone.
In any case, Piranha is one that I guess should be remade because....

a.) Nobody saw the original
b.) You can showcase Spring break boobage
c.) Hire decent actors playing rubbery stereotypical characters
d.) See mother fuckin piranhas in a mother fuckin lake

OK here be the trailer.





OK let's start to shred this one with random thoughts shall we?

0:00-0:20

Fake James Cameron 3D PSA is a nice touch. You didn't fool me!

0:23

Boobs!!!

0:24


Is Lake Victoria right by Amity Island?

0:27

Trampoline bouncy boobs!!!

0:30


Gratuitous Eli Roth cameo. Where's your heterosexual lifemate Quentin?

0:32

Cheerleader boobies!!!

0:35


Gratuitous Kawasaki motorcycle product placement

0:39

Why is their an old hag in Spring Break? Die bitch die!!

0:46

Elizabeth Shue is still looking hawt...but nobody is going to listen to you unless you show your boobs.

0:47

Ving Rhames. You ain't know Samuel L.

0:48

Is that a Richard Dreyfus cameo? Dude the lake you want is down the road.

0:55

That's some mutant fuckin piranha...I think its got a laser beams attached to its head

1:02

Listen to Doc Brown...he's smart!!

1:07


Jet ski vs boat (its no zombie vs shark)

1:16

HA ha! I knew those piranha had laser beams attached to their heads. They just caused a boat to explode!

1:22

This shits going to be awesome in 2D!!! Umm I mean 3D!

Thoughts on this one? Please share. I hope the sequel has ill-tempered mutated sea bass. They're more deadly than this weak piranha bullshit.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving! (from the jaded viewer)

Well I'll be on hiatus for the Thanksgiving break. I need some freakin rest anyway. But I figured I'd take this opportunity to give thanks to everybody whose been coming to the site and leaving comments and reading my AWESOME reviews.

(OK OK, Sorry, I've been drinking too much obnoxious juice)

In any case, the site's been a great opportunity to link up with some fellow horror-ites, converse with people on a variety of common interests and promote some super duper good shit that people might have otherwise not known of.

And I just like writing reviews that will make people laugh.

So if you got a good chuckle out of anything I've written, then that's thanks enough.

(but leaving a comment wouldn't hurt too right?)

Happy Thanksgiving!

(And yes, I know every other horror site is going to put this brilliant Eli Roth trailer up like I did)