The logo of this blog will always be loved here at the jaded viewer. And as such, I've always kept you up to date on what's been going on with our favorite Belgian action star. From his last movie, Assassination Games (see review here) to his reality show, I'm always keeping tabs on the Muscles from Brussels. So having discovered the trailer for his latest movie (nope not The Expendables 2) I figured you all needed to know what's the what with JCVD.
Here is the trailer for Dragon Eyes which also stars world class martial artist Cung Lee. Seems JCVD is making Cung Lee do all the work as he plays mentor Tiano. Here be the plot:
In St. Jude, drug dealers and corrupt cops have destroyed an urban neighborhood. But newcomer, Hong, has the fighting skills and moral vision to save this town from itself.
As we all wait for The Expendables 2 (oddly JCVD plays "Jean Vilain") Really? How original! He's got a few other films lined up. "Welcome to the Jungle" is a comedy starring his two kids (yup they're back) and he sports one hell of a porno-ey mustache.
Jean Claude says Hi from Puerto Rico.
And his final film is completely out of left field. We got into sci fi territory and he will be in a movie called U.F.O. Here be the plot.
Five young people realise one fine morning they are robbed of functioning mobile phones, radio and electricity. While they try to escape this situation on foot, they happen to see a huge flying saucer. Soon the civilisation as we know it starts to break down and the five friends find themselves in the middle of an anarchic turmoil.
You gotta admit, he's really hitting all the different genres and it all might turn out to be awesome. If I get to see a spinkick, that'll make my day.
@TheRaidUS is the equivalent of seeing a 100 car pile up, head on collisions and fiery mushroom cloud explosions. It's fuckin awesome
It's rare to see an action movie that says, fuck the characters and the plot! We're not going to waste time developing our characters or explaining the plot. Instead, we're going to give you non stop action for well over 100 minutes and it's going to be some of the most insane stuff you have seen in a while.
Remember when you first mesmerized by Tony Jaa in Ong Bak? Well The Raid is Ong Bak on fuckin steroids and fully armed with nuclear explosives. It's bar none the best action movie I've seen in the past decade.
Boring Plot-O-Matic
The plot is simple. SWAT Team are told they have to take out a ruthless crime lord in an old tenement building. The building is heavily guarded by 1-800 Henchmen and house lowlifes, thugs, addicts and pieces of shit. It also has a few good Samaritans who our remaining cops will meet later. All you need to know is humans with lady parts are at a minimum. You're going to see glorious violence in a Just Dance choreography that is pure awesomeness.
Awesome Review-O-Matic I said it would revolutionize the action movie and I wasn't wrong. You may not know the name Iko Uwais but you will after seeing The Raid. Move over Tony Jaa, your 15 minutes are up. I first saw Uwais in Merantau, Gareth Evans first flick featuring Silat Harimau the Indonesian martial art. I'll admit, it had some stellar action scenes but it was full of boring drab plot and story and had staged action scenes that seem to appear out of nowhere.
But The Raid is floor after floor of non stop Silat in closed quarters, rooms with many breakable objects and ferocity of throwing your enemy against the wall numerous times. Uwais is a skilled tactician playing our hero cop and the synchronized ballet of Silat on Silat violence via endless henchmen are a sight you won't fuckin forget.
The man who steals the show however is Yayan Ruhian who plays Mad Dog. Dude is like the Nate Robinson of the film. He's barely 5'8 from the looks of it but his Silat skills are fuckin stellar. In the penultimate scene, he battles Uwais and his "partner" in well over 15 minutes display of kicks, blocks, punches, blocks and gallery of lightning quick Silat-o-pedia of moves.
And don't get me started by the point blank violence. Holy fuckin shit. Here are things I've never seen before:
Execution of 4 men via point blank gunshots to the head (and one via hammer)
Silat battle ending in multiple gunshots to the face
Machete wielding fight scene
Rude Awakening neck breakers
I mean check this scene out.
This is a badass flick that destroys all semblance of what action porn should be. It defies the genre by be unrelenting and ferocious. It doesn't apologize, it says FUCK YOU and gives you more of what you want. It has moments of pure suspense and anxiety then delivers one screaming kick after the other.
The Raid Redemption is the one action movie you need to see this year. Gone is Thai action. Indonesia is the king of action and Gareth Evans and Iko Uwais are sitting on the throne.
Nude-ipedia
Puhlease.
Gore-ipedia
Mucho gun trauma Mucho broken bones trauma Mucho head, arms, legs trauma WTF moment
Uwais takes on EVERYBODY!!!!
The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis
The Raid is out now in limited theaters. It's a must see, no ifs or ands about it. It's the pinnacle of the modern day action flick. It's why it's getting a release here. The Raid may have been overshadowed by that movie with kids killing kids, but leave it up to the adults to give us grown up violence.
[this review brought to you by guest writer Camiele White who was a former apprentice of Beatrix Kiddo]
After 20 years of consciously watching film (the first five don’t count, for obvious reasons), my favourite films seem to always be Martial Arts related. When my brother came to me with a film he dubbed “the greatest action film of all time”, I had my doubts, particularly because I hadn’t seen a large variety of action films that were both adrenaline pumping and artistic works of brilliance. However, my brother has yet to steer me wrong, so I gave it a chance. It was the moment I welcomed Ip Man into my life.
After having seen the first film, I was thirsty, no RAVENOUS for more! Without becoming overcome with emotion, I’ll simply say Ip Man 2 didn’t fail to deliver. It was one of those films that you see once in your life, once in an existential dilemma about the worth of your own life --yeah, it was that deep for me.
Barring my overdramatic infatuation with the film, it actually opened my eyes to a universal truth --Americans don’t know shit! I consider myself incredibly open-minded. That being said, there’s so much about Asian cinema that I’m missing that it’s almost embarrassing. That point was driven home with a stake the size of Montreal when I had the pleasure of experiencing the Ip Man series for the first time. Ip Man tells the story of the legendary Yip Man, known commonly as Ip Man, one of the most venerated masters of Chinese Martial Arts and the undisputed master of Wing Chun. Most renowned for becoming the teacher of, arguably, the greatest Chinese martial artist of all time, Bruce Lee, Ip Man was a quiet nobleman who had a keen and organic understanding of the movement of the human body. The first film shows his struggle to effectively carry an entire nation on his shoulders during the second Sino-Japanese War. As with most films based on historical fact, the directors take a few liberties with the facts in order to heighten the dramatic effect; however, those moments are few and far between. What I experienced was nothing short of miraculous.
Ip Man 2 picks up where its predecessor left of: after winning a battle against Miura (portrayed by Ikeuchi Hiroyuki), a ruthless Japanese general and respectable martial artist in his own right, Ip Man is shot by a shady lieutenant with a sizeable chip on his shoulders who spits on the self-respect and tradition of the Chinese folk (let’s just say the man had one hell of a Napoleon Complex). After his shooting, the Chinese people, who are barricaded behind wooden spiked fences, force their way through and help Ip Man and his family escape their home of Foshan.
In the opening scene, we see Ip Man, portrayed by the highly underrated (and the second most incredible Chinese actor I’ve ever seen), Donnie Yen, attempting to find a place to open his Martial Arts school. He finds an abandoned roof annexed to a plant nursery, used solely to hang laundry. As is the case in many traditional Martial Arts films, a cocky young challenger waltzes through the doors to flex his muscle and see what all the fuss is about this Ip Man. Boy, did he learn a thing or twelve. Without blinking an eye, Master Ip devours this man with all the grace and poise of an elegant dancer. Thus setting the pace for the rest of the film.
On top of all the craziness surrounding the territorial nature of Martial Arts, Master Ip’s wife, Cheung Wing-sing (played by the ever-gorgeous Lynn Hung) is pregnant with another child and trying her best to save as much money as possible as her husband waits for students. Then when the British Invasion hits the Chinese shores, all hell breaks loose.
As tends to be the trend, the Brits have an itching for some Imperialism and decide to spread their European power to China. With a snarky (and poorly acted) British event promoter exploiting the beauty of Chinese Martial Arts to make some quick cash, the film alludes early on to an imminent clash between a British boxer and Master Ip. The fight is, of course, set up with an early casualty of nationalism --Master Hung, a renowned teacher of Hung Gar. He’s killed by the British boxing star, Taylor “The Twister” Milos, when Master Hung becomes outraged with his blatant insults of Chinese culture and challenges him in the ring.
Vengeance and national honour is on the line as Master Ip prepares to fight Twister and obliterate the misconception of most of the Western world of the 50s that Chinese culture is a commodity in place to entertain the masses.
As the plot twists and escalates in overt social commentary, two aspects that always remain effortless are the dramatic poise and natural beauty of the surroundings. The film is a testament to the grace inherent in true Martial Arts. It’s a film that’s completely full of pride and dignity. As with the other films that fill the top spots of my all time favourites, Ip Man and Ip Man 2 are true cinematic marvels that have enough action to keep one riveted, but is never crass or over the top, simply dramatic and sophisticated, portraying true life at its most intense.
Camiele White suffers from too much film information. In order to remedy her psychosis she’s decided to write about it. Right now, she’s trying something a bit different and writes about Theatrical Costumes. If you want to engage in a little conversation (at your own risk) she can be reached at cmlewhite at gmail [dot] com.
Keeping up with all the films Takashi Miike makes is like a full time job. I just haven't had time to watch his recent flicks. I've got The Great Yokai War sitting on my computer, I passed up multiple chances to see Miike's latest film 13 Assassins and for some unknown reason I keep figuring I'll checkout Yatterman eventually.
So I decided I wouldn't let Ninja Kids!!! World Premiere at the NYAFF pass me by. The film isn't even out in Japan yet! So I was one of the lucky people last weekend who would be the first to see Miike's latest flick. Miike's been all kinds of serious with his samurai movies (13 Assassins and Hara-Kiri: Death of a Samurai are critically acclaimed soon to be masterpieces). But I was itching to see vintage weirdo Miike. Where was my Ichi/Happiness of the Katakuris/Zebraman/Dead or Alive Miike? Well it seems he was saving all his WTF crazy and put it all into Ninja Kids.
Ninja Kids is like Spy Kids on acid. Think Harry Potter but with over the top ninjas and slapstick comedy. It's a cute Japanese family film with a Miike insanity mixed in. And it works from start to finish. It's super duper funny, has some dog poop humor and a ton of CGI madness that only Miike could think up. Based on a long running Japanese TV show called Rantaro the Ninja Boy, it's filled with humor that's international in the LOLs. It's got visual wackiness, self aware parodies and villains that are basically clowns with swords and ninja stars.
What you get is a family comedy that leaves you feeling freakin awesome after you leave the theater. Ninja Kids is heartwarming Japanese wackiness, the Miike way.
Boring Plot-O-Matic Exchanging noble samurai for kid ninjas has let Miike get back in touch with his wild side. This big budget, big screen version of popular Japanese kid’s show Rantaro the Ninja Boy (running for 1,437 episodes and counting!) this is like Harry Potter if Harry Potter was a ninja who hid underground and killed people with bamboo darts and ninja bombs.
Young Rantaro is from a family of low class ninjas and he’s sent off to first grade at Ninja School by his parents who hope that one day he’ll grow up to be a respectable middle class ninja. But he’s hardly at school for five minutes when a classmate – literally – has the snot beaten out of him, the headmaster starts exploding and more wild and wooly ninja tricks than you can hit with a throwing star are zipping off the screen. Awesome Review-O-Matic
Seishirô Katô is a popular child actor in Japan. In Ninja Kids!!! he plays Rantaro, who goes off to Ninja School so that he can fulfull his parents wishes of becoming a great ninja instead of a "low class ninja". Here he meets his classmates who range from a sleepy kid with snotty nose to a soon to be gun marksman to an orphan who brings his babysitting work to class!
Suffice it to say, they go to each class and learn the ways of the ninja. From ninja stars to climbing to explosives, it's all in a school day when training to be a master ninja. They are taught by Mr. Doi, their sensei and a dean of students who has a knack of dodging ninja stars and landing in dog poop.
Rantaro has some Ferris Bueller qualities. He breaks the 4th wall and talks to the audience. The film is totally self aware. In the middle of battles a mysterious disfigured ninja breaks through the setting literally and explains a particular weapon. It's completely WTF and it's just plain super awesome. Ninja Kids is full of other wacky moments and you never know what you'll see next.
As Rantaro and his fellow 1st graders learn from their masters, they also start observing the other grades. 2nd to 5th are all represented and are getting quite good at their art. From the art of deception to explosives to booby trapping and also plain old kicking ass, the ninja academy is quite the student body.
Well eventually we get a plot which to say the least isn't the best in the world. From what I can gather, some other ninja clans are out to kill friends of Mr. Doi. This leads to some assassination attempts that are foiled by the students. In the final scenes, the masters enact a contest where the evil ninja clan must race with the 1st graders to ring a bell on top of a mountain. It's a hilarious conclusion where Grades 1-5 outsmart their not so smart and hideous looking henchmen ninjas in a variety of ways. Along the way we're treated to various WTF moments that could only come from across the Pacific on those islands of Japan.
The humor is top notch, never losing anything in translation. All the jokes hit the mark and others well they hit the outer rings. When our bad guys get pounded, we see bright red ping pong balls on their head which represent their "lumps" in a cartooney way. Sure, not all the jokes work but Miike has a way of figuring out what Japanese and Western audiences will find funny and when somebody falls in a hole with his bomb, that's just universally cartoon funny.
Ninja Kids!!! is a Japanese family film I'd take my 10 year old and 6 year old nephews too. I saw a lot of kids in the audience and people of all ages. The crowd was laughing in pure ecstasy from all the visual gags and one liners that were relentlessly onscreen.
Sure I'll be catching up on all my Miike films eventually. I hear 13 Assassins has a insane hour long battle scene and Yatterman is also an live action anime filled with craziness. I prefer my Miike with a side of WTF and a steaming cup of cuteness. Takashi Miike is sort of like the Robert Rodriguez of Japan. Rodriguez will follow up a grindhouse masterpiece like Machete with Spy Kids 4. The only difference is Miike makes more films in a year than R.R. does in 3.
And his kid's flicks are just plain better.
Gore-ipedia
Cartooney violence without the anvils WTF moment Snot kid's snot is elastic
I'm going to give this 3 and a half spinkicks. I'm only knocking half a spinkick because the plot was a little too goofy for my taste. Also, there were a few moments of musical flashbacks that didn't click for me and weren't that funny. Maybe something lost in translation?
It's BKO: Bangkok Knockout which is without a doubt, the best action movie of 2011 (premiering in NYC at the NYAFF 2011). This is to be expected from Panna Rittikrai, legendary director of Born to Fight and fight coordinator for Ong Bak and Chocolate. He's made Tony Jaa ad Jeeja Yanin household names when it comes to action cinema.
BKO raises the bar of Thai action films so high, it's going to be hard to top it unless we get a sequel. The level of stunts, choreographed fight scenes and adrenaline pumping action sequences is so over the top and so off the charts it's a testament to Rittikrai's fight team's talent and threshold for pain.
One must dismiss the bad acting, the ridiculous cartooney plot and bodily harm logic when it comes to BKO. Like porn, these are only set ups to get to the money shot. And the money shots come shooting faster, harder and longer than anything I've ever see come out. (Sorry the puns write themselves).
BKO is an orgy and ballet of violence set to a soundtrack. You won't know the names of the characters or care if the bad guys get their comeuppance. Seriously, it's not important. As long as you were mesmerized by the punches, kicks, double kicks, double punches and the synchronized attacks, BKO has done it's job.
Boring Plot-O-Matic Rittkrai is a legend in Thai action cinema. The director of Born to Fight and fight coordinator for such classics as Ong Bak and Chocolate, he was the star of many action films in the 70s and 80s, and is famously a mentor to some of the top action superstars working today, including Tony Jaa (Ong Bak), Dan Chupong (Dynamite Warrior) and Jija Yanin (Chocolate). BKO features a range of martial art disciplines. A group of 'fight club' pals whose styles vary from Muay Thai and Capoeira to Kung Fu and Tai Chi must fight for their lives when one of their friends is kidnapped. Awesome Review-O-Matic
I was going to give a breakdown of each fight scenes but there are like 30 of them. In any case, the range of fighting styles is on display going from Muay Thai, Kung Fu, Capoeira and free running. But before we talk about the fights, let's get that pesky plot out of the way.
THE PLOT
So basically a Thai stunt team wins a contest to go to Hollywood to work for an American businessman. But in reality it's all a ploy to have the evil stunt team try to kick their ass. In between this crazy Wile E. Coyote plot is a group of gamblers led by the evil American business dude who are betting on who wins each fight.
And that's not all folks. We've got some kooky love triangle, twists and betrayals and a boat load of revenge themes that rear their ugly heads as this crazy movie chugs along. The movie has tons of comedy in it to which somehow feels screwbally and probably is designed for a Thai audience. Oh and there is indeed an appearance from a lady boy fighter.
THE FIGHTS
But at the end of the day, you're here to see the sex....err I mean action scenes. And there are plenty of em. Taking place in an abandoned warehouse that seems to go on for like freakin forever, you've got gangbangs, double teams and threesomes. Seriously, I'm talking about the action.
There is a killer fight scene in a caged off area that's pure awesomeness with aerial kicks I've never seen before. A boy lady?!? takes on one of our good guys ending in a slo mo water fighting sequence. We also get a masked man with an ax sustain high levels of Ryu and Ken kicking ending in a flaming ax.
And get this! They added a Fast and Furious killer car to the mix as our heroes dodge being run over. In all of this somehow our hero Pom or Pod, I forget his name has to rescue his kidnapped girlfriend.
Even more fighting with metal bars, a sequence of free running (aka parkour) and our hero battling his arch nemesis tops it all off. And at some point, you're going "That's it right?" They can't possibly top that Matrix like finishing move can they?
But they keep going.
The beauty of these action sequences is that they've taken tons of hard work to get it right. I'm pretty sure everything filmed was of the non CGI variety (fuck you Hollywood...this is how fight scenes are done). I applaud our heroes and their level of talent but I also have to applaud the henchmen getting their ass kicked. It's teamwork that makes all these fight sequences work. Sure the masked evil stunt team is waiting to get kicked but their absorbing the most damage. The editing that also has to be done was pretty solid. But to see that the timing has to be just right and the punches and kicks have to be measured carefully is quite a sight. This is what makes a Rittikrai movie legendary.
And they did keep going. The ending is an orgy and I seriously mean orgy of violence. Fights are taking place all over the warehouse and eventually we even get some gun play. A sequence below a moving truck is insanely awesome as is a juxtaposed fight scene between 2 of our other heroes versus motorcycle bad guys.
BKO: Bangkok Knockout is not going to win best acting awards but it wins the award I'm about to make up. The Jaded Viewer Action WTF holy kick orgy of violence Award for 2011 goes to BKO. If Ong Bak 2 and 3 have left you feeling like Tony Jaa has lost his touch, BKO will make it all better.
Action porn is back and it's better than ever.
Gore-ipedia
Not so much
Nude-ipedia
It's action porn, not real porn
WTF moment Large metal mask wearing flaming ax guy
I'm going to give this 3 spinkicks. The bad acting, ridiculous plot and my biggest gripe.....there were no outtakes at the end! I always look forward to seeing the outtakes as I appreciate what the stunt team goes through.
Well let me first say I never saw Ninjas vs Zombies, Justin Timpane's first cult film. Maybe that's a good thing as I can judge Ninjas vs Vampires without any baggage.
Clearly a film with a title like this makes you think you're going to see some SyFy smoke and mirrors bad CGI, bad acting and incoherent plot. And that's not to far off from the truth. Ninjas vs Vampires is a b-movie low budget spectacle with mediocre CGI, quirky acting and an incoherent plot. But all of what's above is what makes it likable.
I wouldn't go as far as to call it "It's so bad, it's good" but what I will say is it's got a DIY indie spirit that pushes it into a Rebecca Black Friday likable. Ninjas vs Vampires is a pop culture machine of funness. It never takes itself to seriously, zings in cleverly clever one liners and has some not too shabby fight scenes. Bringing in the elements of the kung fu film with the retardedness of the cliched vampire genre, NvV is a cult classic for the horror fan who thinks they've seen it all.
Score one for Team Ninja. Boring Plot-O-Matic
Ninjas battle vampires for the fate of the world in this all new Action-Horror-Comedy from the creators of 2010’s cult smash, Ninjas vs. Zombies! Moments after down-on-his-luck Aaron is rejected by the girl of his dreams, they both are attacked by blood-sucking vampires. Driven to save her, Aaron tracks down the mysterious ninjas, who wage a nightly war against the forces of darkness. Now, as the vampire overlord Seth plots to destroy mankind, Aaron has only one choice - join the ninjas, save the world, and get the girl... or die trying.
Sexy, funny, shocking, and bloody, Ninjas vs. Vampires delivers an action-packed comedic adventure unlike any other! Awesome Review-O-Matic
Well a standard review would be pretty much be boring. So I'm going with random Karate Kid and Buffy quotes to get you in the mood of the film.
"Get him a body bag! Yeah!"
Seems like we our BFF's Aaron and Alex stumble unto a full on war between vamps and ninjas. One begs to question if this is what happens everyday in Suburbia, America. I like to think a daily war happens between these two groups at the Hot Topic.
"To make you a vampire they have to suck your blood. And then you have to suck their blood. It's like a whole big sucking thing. Mostly they're just gonna kill you. Why am I still talking to you?"
The vamps are straight out of the Joss Whedon rejected characters list. Your typical Anne Rice metrosexual, his horny whore, a few Jay and Bob rejects, some Phantom of the Opera dollar store dweebs and a "I'm a crazy homicidal vamp guy". Plus vampire henchman.
"Wax on, wax off"
So our ninjas are of the non asian variety. I mean I figure asians trained in karate are in short supply in the indie horror world. Their's your Willow clone witch, 2 Caucasian Akira's, an ex vampire (see like Spike!) and our new recruits.
They get inducted and we're off to fight the vamps.
"We like to talk big. Vampires do. "I'm going to destroy the world." That's just tough guy talk. Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is, I like this world. You've got... dog racing, Manchester United. And you've got people, billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs."
So the vamps have some sort of plan, set traps and want some sort of amulet. It's not really important. What is is how when our vamps battle our ninjas, we get our standard supply of Blade fire poofing. Lots of CGI done on a Mac here. Lots of sliced legs, punctured CGI blood and vamps going all flamey combustion.
Some of it is indeed laughable but you start to realize what kind of movie you're watching. OK guys, read this because it's technically important part of the review.
Ninjas vs Vampires is a b-movie horror fandom flick made my horror fans who love b-movie horror flicks. Timpane, his crew and his actors homage all the genre films and make fun of the one's they loathe. From insults of "sparkling vampires" to quotable quotes uttered in a Scooby Gang fashion, it's a love letter to kung fu flicks and vampire cheesiness.
And you either buy into watching this fan made film or you don't. We've all watched our share of fan made shorts, trailers and films on YouTube. This one is just done more professionally, relatively speaking.
"Better learn balance. Balance is key. Balance good, karate good. Everything good. Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?"
But of course that doesn't mean it's all happy skippity doo. The dialogue is clever but the actors don't seem to have the comedic timing I was hoping for. Sure you'll get a chuckle on a few one liners but mostly it's a rushed indie blockbuster film with lots of ambition. The movie was made in some dude's house (maybe without their knowledge!) and their isn't a lick of gratuitous nudity (well somebody was gonna ask) I sometimes don't understand why a low budget indie has to order the complete package of cheesy CGI, ridiculous costumes and over the top dialogue. Or wait...is that the point? Is that intentional? Hmmm I'd like to know. Did they want to go in that direction to make it more funny. Hell even BtVs look kinda bad compared to todays CGI.
In any case, Team Ninjas prevail in the end and a double kicker sets up another sequel.
I'll admit, I didn't get bored watching Ninjas vs Vampires. It has some delicious hotties to look at, has some adept fighting scenes and a few ha ha's that make it tolerable. It's a little ambitious yes, but it's so self aware that it probably knows it's ridiculous.
Hell, I mean the title says it all.
Gore-ipedia
Pixels of gore and splatter
Nude-ipedia
Sigh...none.
WTF moment The vampire henchmen are kinda dumb as bricks
The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis
Need a vampire and ninja film fix? This be the film for you.
I never think a director or writer ever reads my reviews. The Jaded Viewer is a small corner of the interweb and I mean you'd think they'd be to busy to bother to read what a NYC horror blogger has to say about their film.
But when I reviewed Gary King's Dismal: Eat or be Eaten, I kinda made a few zingers at the movie's expense. Shockingly, I got an e-mail from writer and producer Bo Buckley and he appreciated that I reviewed the film even though it wasn't overly positive.
Added to this, I actually didn't know about director Gary King's other work too. His filmography reads like an art house menu of NYC based films. So when Mr. Buckley informed me that he had teamed up with Gary King again, and this time it was a kung fu zombie comedy, I didn't know what to think. The trailer looked pretty hilarious though but would this end up dismal like Dismal?
I'm glad to say it didn't.
Death of the Dead is a campy horror kung fu comedy, comparable to seeing a YouTube video of a dude getting kicked in the groin. Think Karate Kid meets Troma and throw in a little bit of Scary Movie and some Zucker Brothers. Mix in a blender and you got Death of the Dead.
I'll admit I LOL-ed throughout most of the movie as the gags, inside jokes, 4th wall breaking jokes had me on the floor. Sure it's an indie production but it doesn't look like it. The dialogue winked at the audience a few times, the CGI (which didn't work in Dismal) seemed right at home in this comedy and the acting by our lead Christina Rose who plays Wanda is spot on brilliant.
Sure some jokes fell flat and a few scenes were mostly filler but it's not like your watching Inception here. It's definitely a film that cliches itself to death (all intentional) and includes a scene with ball busting numchucks.
I mean what more can you ask for? Boring Plot-O-Matic It's Karate Kid meets 28 Days Later in this over-the-top horror / action / comedy from Strange Stuff Productions. Wanda is an uber nerd with the coordination of a seizure victim. Her karate trainer is an aging pervert with a penchant for ball gags and various sex toys. When a bus from a rival karate school accidentally runs over a couple scientists dumping a toxic chemical down the sewer, the entire class is turned into high flying, flesh eating baddies!
As they wreak havoc on the town turning others into zombie ninjas, Wanda and her instructor must save the planet with the help of a magic karate belt. That's right, I said MAGIC KARATE BELT. An epic feature full of brains, boobs and bad ass bitches, Death of the Dead is fun for the whole family!
Awesome Review-O-Matic
There have been a ton of horror parodies of late. Zombieland and Scary Movie come to mind. But in the indie world, these comedies are not often seen but they rival the best Hollywood has to offer.
Death of the Dead is chock full of sight gags, toilet humor and self aware jokes that it had me laughing at all this kung fu foolery. It's also smart enough to not be those movies where you parody the latest popular movie (sorry Twilight fans). What it does is take 2 genres, the karate action movie and the zombie movie and mixes in the cliches from both to make a comedy that cleverly mocks the mockery.
I'm not usually good at reviewing comedies so I'm turning this review into a jaded viewer cliche review with the old standby Q&A review! This is where I answer the questions I make up that I think you'd ask.
1.) Wanda is Daniel-son type uber nerd but she transforms into a kick ass, karate zombie killer. OK I can buy that, but she gets naked right?
Alas no nudity by our zombie killing vixen but in the first 3 minutes we get boobs and thats a plus in my book. The opening scene has stereotypical cheerleaders doing stereotypical cheerleading things like being bitchy, cat fighting and being lesbian.
2.) So the relationship between Wanda and her sensei is strictly platonic right? Does that mean I get to see boobs?
Jeez, what's your obsession with boobs dude? Wanda and Master Sensei develop a bizarro world Daniel-Miyagi relationship. The first half of the movie is a total Karate Kid parody complete with Wanda being made fun of and a final karate tournament match. DOTD skewers 80s montages, the old Cobra-Kai cliche and the evil sensei.
And then there's a cat fight in a kiddie pool filled with mud....or it could have been poo. My money is on poo.
3.) I'm not that literate when it comes to theoretical quantum physics. What do you mean by 4th wall?
The most hilarious moments are when the movie breaks the 4th wall. From visible boom operators to a very noticable stunt double, I can't help but laugh when this happens. It's a brilliant gag that hasn't been used very much. Think Wayans I'm Gonna Git you Sucka and Menace. Last time I saw this was in Black Dynamite.
DOTD somehow places these gags in just the right places and at the right time. Like if I told you right now I was writing this while eating a McRib. See what I mean?
4.) WTF man! Kung Fu Zombies?
So some toxic goo turns the evil Cobra-Kai team into zombies and they take over Cleveland, OH. I know what your thinking. Kung fu zombies is a brilliant adversary for our uber nerd turned slice happy Wanda. As the town is overrun, Master Sensei and his box of sex toys try to save the day.
5.) I heard that ILM did the special effects for this. Is that true?
I joked that the CGI in Dismal was bad at one point wrote "The CGI fire and explosion look so fake, it's like they put a lighter in front of the camera." The same effects return here. But somehow when you see a zombie split in half and it looks cheesy, you laugh and you know its part of the joke.
6.) Ummmm so this is a smart kung fu zombie horror comedy? Are you on drugs?
[Inhales via bong while simultaneously doing crystal meth]
What? Nope not on drugs. The thing about DOTD is its kinda smart with its in jokes. Bo Buckley inserts a few ha ha's while ridiculing the cliche of exposition and plot explaining. The characters are stereotypical but somehow feel unique and different with some anti-cliche personalities.
I don't know. I kinda dug Wanda's nerdo to hottie transformation as well as her gothy sidekick in tow. I even laughed at Master Sensei's stupidity. 7.) It can't all be good. Something must have sucked. What was the suckage?
Well there were a few jokes that didn't work. There is so many dick and fart jokes I can take. You'd think gross out humor and over the top props and sexual innuendo would be fun, but some jokes are done over and over again. The fight scenes were completely laughable but I didn't care because Wanda was slicing and dicing in a Wonder Woman outfit bought from an S&M store. Yum.
8.) So what's the deal here? Am I going to like this? Is their subtle satire in this comedy that will make me reevaluate the world?
Umm no. It's a fun little indie horror comedy that is a total time waster. I would say Death of the Dead is right up there with the best Troma movies (maybe even a bit better). Gary King makes the movie completely coherent and has good set up then punchline scenes. The writing has got lots of smarty jokes, the acting is top notch led by Christina Rose as Wanda.
Death of the Dead smartly recognizes what the audience knows, what it's making fun of and what the audience wants. There hasn't been a horror comedy about kung fu zombies that I know of. Let Death of the Dead be your first.
WTF moment
Wanda gets revenge on the "Sweep the leg Johnny!" character
The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis
I believe Death of the Dead is playing a few film fests before it gets released on DVD. Check out the official site for more info.
I have my favorite indie horror directors and I usually keep track of what they're up to. But yesterday, I recently found out what Jonathan Lewis (director of Black Devil Doll) had been working on. Can you say a horror anthology movie?
With The Black Box, we are going to get 4 stories wrapped around a little boy watching his favorite horror TV show.
Here be the plot.
Eight year old Bobby is a strange boy. Between spying on his teenage sister's sexual exploits, and peeping at his prostitute mother in the nude. Bobby loves to watch the midnight horror shows. But when the host of Bobby's favorite horror show begins speaking to Him directly, and the people in his life dreadfully appear to him on television, the lines of reality and fiction start to blur!!
So what are the 4 mini flicks in The Black Box? See below.
"Freddie and the Goblins" segment by Scott Dawson & David Sherbrook
"Wax Off" segment by Buz Danger Wallick (starring Joe Pilato)
"Thirsty" segment by Andrew Kasch (starring Tiffany Shepis, Joe Lynch andMichael Bailey Smith)
"Mister Video"segment by Jonathan Lewis & Jerry Franck.
Now that we got all that out of the way, you can finally check out the trailer below.
The big news is that THE BLACK BOX world premiere will take place at The New Beverly Cinema (that be in Los Angeles) on Friday night October 29th 2010 at Midnight!
I'll admit, I've watched the trailer a few times now and it looks bloody awesome. With Lewis teamed up with Infested Films, this horror anthology might make Creepshow look like a Disney film. Trick R Treat? That was so 2009.
The Black Box might make us all start talking to the TV.
You'd think having a rapper in your movie would turn out to be a big FAIL. Somtimes that's not the case. That's because your not watching the right rappers in the right movies, you know what I'm saying? Insano Steve already detailed how awesome Stickey Fingaz hip hop musical A Day in the Life was. Even I was blown away by the cleverlogue of seeing Stickey, Omar and WeeBey from the Wire, Michael Rappaport, Caine from Menace II Society and Treach (from Naughty by Nature).
So thank the hip hop gods, Stickey Fingaz made another musical. This one is called Caught on Tape and it looks fuckin awesome. And whose in this one you asking? OMG, look at this lineup motherfucka. Vivica Fox and Cedric the Entertainer are the notables in this one with Sticky.
Bust a cap and watch the trailer below.
Straght out of Shaolin (aka Staten Island) comes The RZA's Wu Tang vs. The Golden Phoenix trailer (news via FilmDrunk). The RZA, musical genius and founding member of the infamous Wu Tang Clan goes all homagy to all the old Chinese king fu flicks of old.
This fucker has got serious street cred my brothas. Jackie Chan's stunt team, Fight choreographer Robert Tai of 5 Deadly Venoms,members of the USA Shaolin Team, and starring Shaw Bros. Legend Chi Kuan Chun and Dr. King Ogun Ali Muhammad, founder of the Universal African Fighting System.
And it wouldn't be Wu Tang without 5th generation Shaolin disciple The RZA. It's got serious kung fu-ery and all sorts of insane action.
HaaaaaaaaYaaaaaaaaaa. Check out the trailer.
Have I changed your perception of the rapper turned filmmaker stereotype? Hahaha. Maybe not but what do you think of these flicks?
Jean Claude says Hi from Puerto Rico.