5 Semi Unknown Actresses about to blow the fuck up

Well I needed an excuse to post pictures of Katrina Bowden. So I decided to make up this post. You probably know who all these actresses are but Ms. Moretz has been making the news since the Carrie announcement and some people didn't know she was Hit Girl in Kick Ass. It would be easy to feature Jennifer Lawrence but you know me, I dig the actresses that are semi under the radar. Clearly these actresses need more exposure so here you go.



5.) Olivia Thirlby: Yup, you've seen her in Juno, but she was in The Darkest Hour and in the Dredd remake. I clearly see her doing the indie thing but a path similar to Amanda Seyfried isn't out of the question.



4.) Jamie Chung: She did the horror thing with Sorority Row but hit the mainstream radar with Hangover 2 and Sucker Punch. She's going to go all dramatic in Eden but I can't wait to see her star with JGL in Premium Rush. Oh yeah she's in Shimizu's 7500. Her hotness is bound to turn heads but I see performance gold as well.


3.) Katrina Bowden: Sure she's been on 30 Rock, but it was her performance in Tucker and Dale vs Evil that made me notice Katrina Bowden. She's in American Reunion as well and we hit the jackpot because we all know she's in Piranha 3DD. That means there is 100% confirmation she will be in a bikini.


2.) Juno Temple: She's probably the most relative unknown of the 5, but she's been in a lot of shit according to her IMDB. Most notably she was in Year One and The Three Musketeers. But I noticed her in Gregg Araki's Kaboom where she goes all grunty and nakedy. But her upcoming slate is full of awesomeness. She's in The Dark Knight Rises (heard of it?), Killer Joe, Lovelace and a werewolf lesbian film called Jack and Diane with Jena Malone. God damn yay.


1.) Chloe Grace Moretz: Clearly not unknown to genre fans, Chloe Moretz was our dear Hit Girl in Kick Ass. Her filmography is extensive and she technically broke out as Abby in Let Me In. But at only 15, she's damn versatile as an actress taking roles in crime dramas like Texas Killing Fields. Obviously Hugo was fuckin huge as well but I'm curious as hell to see her in Dark Shadows.

Clearly she is our new Carrie and that will make her skyrocket into the filmdom stratosphere.

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Who's on your radar actor or actress wise? What possible indie horror scream queens might be lurking as the new Jamie Lee Curtis? Chime in!

Categories: beautiful women, chloe moretz, horror hotties, jaime chung, juno, juno temple, katrina bowden, let me in, olivia thirlby, piranha 3d, sucker punch, tucker and dale vs evil

The WTF List: Sucker Punch

I'm a sucker for movies where the critics just tear up the film. So realizing that Sucker Punch which got a 22% rotten rating on Rotten Tomatoes and also the fact I decided to have some fun with the production stills I HAD to watch this for myself.

And I'll admit after watching the whole damn thing, I don't really know exactly what the purpose of Baby Doll (Emily Browning) mission was to "escape" is exactly. But whatever. I'll admit, seeing hot actresses wearing skimpy clothing kicking ass with a full orgy of CGI at Zach Snyder's disposal is not too bad as one might imagine.

So on to the WTF List.

1.) As this being my first Emily Browning flick, she is damn hot.
2.) It's PG-13 but basically they're at a speakeasy where the customers fuck the dancers. Yup totally PG-13 in my book.
3.) Steampunkers are weeping as they watch this
4.) I've never seen samurai statues get smashed by a hot blonde girl in a sailor moon outfit (how can one not like that?)
5.) It's American live action anime in a nutshell.
6.) Let me just say this. I'm a big Jena Malone fan.
7.) I'm also a big Jamie Chung fan. I have no idea who Abbie Cornish is. And I have indeed seen Vanessa Hudgens naked.
8.) Nazi zombies vs an A-team of hot girls. Seriously...how can one not enjoy watching this?
9.) So the "dances" are actually the action scenes. Clearly OLD ME understands this film concept but TWEEN ME can't get enough of seeing Emily Browning do backflips and Jena Malone shooting a gun that weighs more than her
10.) I forgot to mention this is the hottest mental institution...well evaaaaaar. I'd like to get declared insane and sent to this place.
11.) Dragons make everything better.
12.) The fact that all these actresses are like super hot makes every scene tolerable to watch.
13.) The CGI is all style and pretty much what you get. It's CGI eye candy that gives you a headache but whatever.
14.) A robot can't be cut by a sword. Just saying.
15.) If the Japanese made this type of film (and they have in some form or another) we'd call it "super cool" and "awesome". Hollywood makes it and we think it's Hollywood blowing its wad full of CGI and scantily clad hot girls. I see no difference here.
16.) Men are so evil. We should all be ashamed of ourselves.
17.) You know this is just the female version of 300 right?
18.) Wait..Emily Browning and Abbie Cornish are Australian??!? Really?
19.) That escape was easy as pie. They probably got tips from Michael Scofield.
20.) Wow that ending is kinda depressing.

Declare this movie fit for tween boys everywhere. Sure it's devoid of any plot, it's all eye candy (CGI and hawtness) and is full of steampunky action scenes but I dug it.

I'm not crazy right?

Categories: jaime chung, jena malone, steampunk, sucker punch, zach snyder

Sucker Punch Photos are Weapons of Mass Erections

Ahh that photo above is my current wallpaper. I'm a big fan of Jamie Chung (and sort of a big fan of hot girls named "Jaime" in general). But that photo is clearly the PG for this PG-13 flick. There are a few more below that will get those guns cocked. (you see what I did there? I'm going to do that a lot)

Sure on some level, I enjoyed Zach Snyder's other flicks (300 and Watchmen) and I predict that Sucker Punch will lead to one big Hollywood steampunk revival. But I digress. A flick like this is clearly hitting on Snyder's base of amped up alpha horndogs who want to see hot girls blowing shit up. This is all about CGI bullets killing CGI targets and cutting to hot American actresses in retro Sailor Moon outfits in super duper slo mo.

And you know what? There's nothing wrong with that.

How can you go wrong with a cast of attractive women including Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Jena Malone, Jamie Chung, Vanessa Hudgens and Carla Gugino? Add in some sword play, some giant machines and blimps and you're sure to see the theaters packed with tweens and teens.

But let's check out the photos. They seem to be subliminally telling us something more than what's on the surface.

Go team go! Chicks with guns is your generic photo of awesomeness. It says we may be 5"2 and the guns weigh more than all of us combined but we can so kick your ass.

Did you see the size of that gun she fired at us? It was bigger than her.

Must. Maintain. Eye. Contact...

Sure it looks like the dressing room of a strip club but the fishnet stockings say otherwise.

[Wipes drool]....Does that say Gold Diggers in the background? Clearly it's a hidden message about.....oh whatever [drools...]

Bow-chicka-bow-wow....did you hurt your knee? I'll kiss it and make it all better Vanessa Hudgens. I know you're a sweet innocent girl who would never have nude photos of herself all over the Internet right?Ahem...RIGHT???

The audience will clearly not know WTF is going on so let's write down our goals on this here blackboard. We need a map, fire, knife and key. Can somebody post this on Facebook so we can remember?

So your like the creepy old guy that gives me the Sword of Omens...right? OMG! LOL! FTW!

Meow! Meow! I smell a cat fight coming. I think it's about who's going to go on stage next.

Clearly they just shot CGI bullets into a CGI target causing a CGI explosion leading to a sychronized landing and gratuitous slo mo pause. Clearly right?

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Well there ya have it. Some tidbits on what you may have missed when checking out the Sucker Punch photos. You know you're going to thrust yourself into theaters this Friday to check out this steampunk homage (steampunkers around the world are weeping BTW). Never has movie made nerds and geeks turn into beta blocking alpha males like Sucker Punch.

I call it steampunk action porn....set to Led Zeppelin. And you know what?

There's nothing wrong with that.

Here be the trailer.

Categories: jaime chung, jena malone, steampunk, sucker punch, watchmen, zach snyder

The Jaded Viewer's Predictions for 2011

I had a few features I wanted to write about what we should all expect in 2011 via film but they all sorta made sense to go list a few Nostradamusisy predictions instead. When in doubt, always go with a list I always say. Who knows what 2011 will bring in the world of horror but I'm going out on a limb with my guesses and predictions.

If any of these come true, I've got proof I'm psychic. Now place your bets.

1.) Steampunk will be Hollywood's Newest Exploitation

With Sucker Punch coming out which will probably be the equivalent of 300 in terms of success, Zach Snyder will initiate a Hollywood bandwagon for all that is steampunk.

2.) We're going to see a lot more Exorcist type movies

With The Rite comes out this month, we're going to see more devil in a child movies. The Last Exorcism's succes and Exorcismus, this is just the tip of the iceberg for devils vs priests.

3.) We're going to see less horror remakes

Just because Hollywood's already milked the shit out of every horror franchise

4.) Remember shaky cam shot on video cinema? We're going to get a film like that every month.

And it's going to be in 3D.

5.) Joss Whedon's Cabin in the Woods will be better than Kevin Smith's Red State

Two fan bases collide but somehow Whedon will prevail because his movie will be funnier.

6.) Zombies and Vampires will jump the shark....say hello to werewolves

With Teen Wolf coming to MTV, I smell more howling wolves coming to the big screen.

7.) There will be less Exploitation and Grindhouse throwback flicks

Sure I'm going to see Hobo with a Shotgun but we're going to see indie filmmakers turn their backs on these type of flicks.

8.) Gladiator movies will make a comeback

From Spartacus to Hercules to Conan, we're going to see more overgrown men with swords slicing and dicing.

9.) We will have 1 hyped up Japanese or Korean remake

I hope it comes from Takashi Miike or Chan Wook Park.

10.) The French will blow us away with a horror flick (which will probably end up #1 on my Top 10 List for 2011)

They've been quiet for a while. I think they're going to make a flying zombie film that's somehow intellectually stimulating.

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OK that's my list. What's yours? What are your predictions for 2011?

Categories: exploitation film, french horror, grindhouse, horror remakes, jadedviewer.com, jaime chung, japanese horror, korean horror, steampunk, the jaded viewer, the last exorcism, zombies

The 5 Hottest Actresses named "Jaime" in Entertainment

Sometimes you gotta break the monotony of horror-core posts with a feature that puts a smile on every alpha male's face (sorry girls, I'm pandering to my skewed male demographic). So after watching the 2MM plus YouTube views of a certain body wash "balls" commercial, I realized there were a lot of hotties with the first name Jaime or Jamie. You wouldn't think off hand there would be, but compiling 5 actresses or models was pretty easy.

So I've listed a Top 5 of the hottest actresses with that name in entertainment. No no, no need to thank me. I'm here to to put what all you red blooded male Americans are all thinking on the interwebs.

Onwards to the list!

5.) Jamie-Lyn Sigler

Where you've seen her: Meadow Soprano is all grown up but still can't park correctly. Let's forgive her for that already ok?



4.) Jaime Bergman

Where you've seen her: I remember seeing Jaime Bergman on an episode of Angel (where she met her now husband David Boreanaz) but she's been a Playboy Playmate and has had a variety of appearances on TV and movies.


3.) Jamie Chung

Where you've seen her: Former MTV Real World reality star, Jamie Chung is now infiltrating Hollywood with her Asian hotness. She was in Samurai Girl and Dragonball Evolution and now will star in Sucker Punch and Premium Rush.


2.) Jaime King

Where you've seen her: Horror wise, she was in My Bloody Valentine 3D (not looking smokin hot), They Wait and stars in the remake of Mother's Day. She's also been in tons of TV shows, Sin City and a new TV show called My Generation.

1.) Jaime Pressly

Where you've seen her: If you haven't seen a naked picture of Jaime Pressly, you're not looking hard enough. She starred in a string of Skinemax flicks and teen comedies before making it big in hits like My Name is Earl and that Axe commercial I was talking about. Now she plays the hottest white trash characters I've ever seen.

Jaime Pressly is the obvious #1 bar none.

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Did I miss any others? Maybe, so if you wanna chime in on a few other Jaimes, let me know. I think the next version will be hottest "Jena's". I've got a few names on that one too.

Categories: beautiful women, gratuitous nudity, horror hotties, jaime chung, jaime king, jaime king naked, jaime king shower scene, jaime pressly, naked women, nudity