Bennett's Curse Haunted House (Review)

When you're planning to go on a haunted house road trip, make sure you're with people who are on the same page as you or you're going to have a bad time. Thank the crazies I have friends who are as insane as I am. Joined by blogger "C' of The Raven and Black Cat and fellow Blackout Survivor "D" we trekked the 3 or so hours to just outside Baltimore, Maryland to hit up not 1 but 2 haunted houses on the same night.

First stop was Bennett's Curse in Jessup, MD. Just by looking at their website you can see the accolades galore of "Best Haunt" this and "Top Halloween Attractions" that. Its for those reasons it was first on our list. As this was my first road trip haunt (my out of state haunts included Goretorium in Vegas and Universal Horror Nights in LA) I expected to be in the middle of nowhere and boy is Bennett's Curse in the middle of nowhere, USA. The approach to the haunt is ominously X-Files-ish as a white gigantic hanger bellows in the distance.

Inside it's filled with a online quick pic and an ominous animatronic dragon. It's dark and our fast pass tickets scurry us into the fast lane. A creepy old guy gives instructions and off we go.

You want Vampires? We got us some Vampires

Bennett's Curse is basically every incarnation of haunted houses rolled into one though they are kind of try to mislead you early on with actors spewing speeches about a medieval war between vampires and demons. That's so you'll be mesmerized by the insane amounts of high tech monsters they have set up triggered by motion detectors (?) to scare you. The amount of props crammed into the haunt can be overwhelming and stratgically placed actors looking to jump scare you is adequate but few and far between.

You'll get some air cannons ready to give you a quick jolt and some Travel Channel approved 30 feet tall dragons, gargoyles and monsters all ready to swing into action. I'll admit these special effects were quize mesmerizing but easily got tiring at the same time. As "C" pointed out, these were bought at the haunted house warehouse on the dollar. A moving eye prop was very top notch as was a giant dragon mouth that knocked me a bit sideways. They seemed to spend top dollar on their Halloween monsters hence the continued commercial of being featured on The Travel Channel as you entered.

But as you progress, you will get different versions of haunted houses at Bennett's Curse. All are labeled with fancy gloom and doom nicknames like "House of the Vampyres" which were the prop laden animatronics maze I discussed earlier. "Zombie Kingdom 3D" which was  a 3-D colorful zombie maze complete with 3-D entrails emanating from the actors. "Sanctuary of Insanity" was an insane asylum complete with maniacs who will move the "jail bars" to keep you confused and lost.The haunt has no unifying theme but to get you spooked and hang out with every kind of boogeyman you can think of.

Flashlights: Scary Shit

However, one of the parts of Bennett's Curse was something that didn't have elaborate effects, crazy monsters set to Metal. It was a simple twist and turn maze that was in complete darkness. As you went through, various actors armed with flash lights would light up their gruesome faces at just the right moment to scare the bejesus out of you. There would be a flicker of light that would scare and indirectly help to guide your way out. Never have I walked slowly, arm outstretched hoping for that quick flashlight to get me through a maze. This was the best part of Bennett's Curse in it's utter simplicity and scare-o-meter.

The actors were mostly mute bystanders making sure to get in your face when appropriate. Some actors mocked my clumsiness as I bumped into my friends in the utter darkness. It's these brief exchanges of WTF did they just say that? that make the haunt a little more personal.

Final Thoughts

I've been to my fair share of high level haunted houses. Bennett's Curse is a smorgasboard of all your favorite monster haunts jampacked into one huge Halloween extravaganza. I'll say that all 3 haunted houses had some moments that had me jumping but not one of their 3 haunts had me going "Holy shit! That was fuckin awesome". You'll get your laughs, your screams and your share of WTFs if you go in not looking for anything more than your pre-packed monster goodies loot bag.

I think the road trip to Bennett's Curse was well worth the drive but I'm probably not going to be back in the future. Unless they have a giant hanger masked in darkness and nothing but actors with flashlights. But who would pay for that?

The Vitals

• Official Site
• Like on Facebook
• Follow in Twitter
• Bennett’s Curse at Blobs Park
  8024 Max Blobs Park Rd
  Jessup, MD 20794 
• Tickets: $30 General Admission, $45 Speed Pass
  
• More pictures at The Jaded Viewer Facebook page

Check out the trailer

Categories: demons, halloween, happy halloween, haunted house, maniac, maryland, night of the demon, vampires

Top 10 Horror Movies of 2012

Well here it is...as always in the middle of January my Top Horror Movies of 2012! Sorry for taking so long to get this posted but I had to catch up on some of the movies I missed this year (yet again) I usually look at other bloggers and horror site's lists and watch the movies that I missed.

This year, there is no #11-20 list. I just didn't see that many movies this year. It was one of those years I just lacked on the horror movie watching as well as the blogging. My apologies for the low number of posts this year. I know many people use what I post here to see movies I recommend and what they missed. I promise I'll try to be better this year.

My list has few movies that have appeared on others but I do put a spin on the order. I had a different take on what was considered "the best" this  year and my picks are totally abnormal from everybody else. I'm just quirky that way.

First some fun facts and sidenotes!

• Though some of these movies came out in 2011, I label any movie that got  wide releases or DVD releases in 2012 as coming out in 2012.


• It's a mix of indie horror and theatrical releases but mostly indies.


• I missed seeing some theatrical and indie horror movies but you have to rank what you saw so that's what I'm doing.


• The top 10 films broken down by country: USA = 5, UK=2, Canada=1, Australia=1, Spain=1, 


• The 10 films broken down by spinkick rating: 4 spinkicks=3, 3 and 1/2 spinkicks= 3, 3 spinkicks=4
• There are a record 4 spinkick movies on this list!


• A movie that had 4 spinkicks doesn't necessarily mean it was better.


• To read the entire review of the film click on the title.

So what did 2012 offer us in the world of horror?

• This list is dominated by independent horror films (again)


• In a twist, there are no movies from the Pacific
• Sequels and remakes dominated Hollywood yet again...and I'm fuckin bored of it.


• Everybody has Cabin in the Woods on their lists.


• The number one movie on my list is from the USA for the second straight year!!! (can you believe it???)

I take it some of picks will lead to WTF faces and "you're fuckin crazy". Isn't that the fun of these year end Top 10s? Let's get to the list! Here are some honorable mentions.

The Walking Dead (Season 3): Loved the first half of S3.
The Dead: Great African zombie film.
I missed a lot of great mainstream and indie horror films this year. I hope to get caught up soon.

OK now on to the list!


10.) V/H/S (3 spinkicks)

VHS somehow pulls off what amounts to a mega punch in the stomach. 5 segments, each directed by a film veteran are wrapped around a plot of a group of kids looking for a mysterious VHS tape in a seemingly creepy house. Though not all the shorts are great, each one is solid and creative enough to put you on the edge of your seat. The shaky cam will get you reaching for the Dramamine and the acting is highly questionable. Think Troma stiffboardines.
But aside from it's drawbacks (another being which short would anchor the ending) it delivers on a promise of being a "back to the roots" kind of underground horror. Splashes of monsters, home invasion, Paranormal Activity phenomenon are just a few of the things you'll see. But the overall theme seemed to be douchebags getting their comeuppance. We all like seeing drunk, horny, misogynistic miscreant fuck ups getting slaughtered by the obvious vixen in the bottle and VHS delivers just that.

VHS is a feel good throwback to an 80s style grindhouse. Gore and nudity, the staples of any horror breakfast are plentiful and wrapped around in stories that will make every horror fan smirk and applause with delight.




9.) [Rec] 3 Genesis (3 spinkicks)

Rec 3 is clearly the lull before the storm. I'm hoping  Jaume Balaguero will go all out crazy with Rec Apocalypse to end this series on a good note. Most horror fans, bloggers and critics are caught in the middle with Rec 3 as it pulls into a totally different direction than the first 2. But you have to admit, from the traditional filmmaking and the POV mixed in and a wedding day that you won't soon forget it really does pack some line dancing hilarity and oozes kegs of blood.

I think the fun in Rec 3 is mixing those two together and somehow the series feels Rec-ish but has something new to offer. At 120 minutes, it's not like we had scenes of drawn out nothingness. Everything in Rec 3 is paced with some scares and funions, the acting is delightful and the gore and splatter are plentiful.

What's not to like? Thank goodness they didn't start dancing Gangnam Style. I would have just shut the movie off right then and there.






8.) Maniac (Remake 2012) (3 spinkicks)

 Maniac is a far departure of the normal horror movies in the indie circuit. It's a brutal and relentless 90 minute first person point of view of a slasher doing slasher things. With it's POV gimmick, it clearly forces you to LOOK directly at the horrific kills without a cutaway. It's this forced perspective that during the course of the movie makes you in every way live the life of Frank, our intrepid killer. The horror he creates is far from playing a Call of Duty game. It's realistically sickening and oddly sympathetic as Elijah Wood's performance transcends the Joe Spinnell one in an American Psycho sorta way.

Once you get over the fact it's a remake that follows the originals story, the POV hitch, and that it takes place in Los Angeles (say what?) it is a unique piece of horror cinema. I was shocked by how it made me care about this misogynistic motherfucker, his past and his longing for companionship. From it's shocking opening  to it's WTF ending, you can't ignore Maniac's rawness of bring a serial killer movie into a whole new level.





7.) Kill List (3 spinkicks)

On the surface, Kill List looks to be your standard five and dime crime thriller. Underworld goons doing their trade eliminating threats for $$. But as I thought about the film after watching it, you start seeing the layers underneath Kill List that enable you to see a movie that has more than meets the eye.

Kill List is a film that slowly burns you into a look into the life of a retired hit man and scopes out a world where his past, his present and his future all collide into an orgy of madness. It's an interesting journey seeing a drama, gore soaked slaughter and a Wicker Man-ish horror flick all blended into one. Sure there is a twist at the end and numerous unanswered questions which make you go WTF but it stills hit you harder than a hail of bullets.

What you'll get from Kill List is a character study of a soldier turned assassin who elects to try to live as a normal but it seems PTSD and pure conditioning to kill are not as easy to shut down when you get home. There is pure hell to pay for the sins of your past and it seems mysterious forces want have molded our hit man's world into their own.

Kill List is a solid flick that may seem like Pulp Fiction without the glitz and glamour. And for that it gets high marks for showing me a touch of all the genres I love from the UK.





6.) Excision (3 spinkicks)

In Excision, Richard Bates debut film based on his short, a coming of age story on a volcano of WTF. Delusional and dreamlike, Excision is suburban America macabre, weirdness with a smile and a bloody mouth. It feels American Mary-ish but less grown up. Which isn't really a bad thing. I would say it would be this years The Woman, where we see the suburban darkness in a Tim Burton like universe.


Excision is that little film that questions our American values and whether or not we can find happiness in who we are and whether or not we can do it while were a little bit crazy.

Underneath the prototypical family is a world we don't necessarily see. Everybody is a bit crazy, has dreams that would make the most alpha male cringe but we hide those feelings and those thoughts deep into the trenches of our brain.

Some people let it all out and show the world who they really are. So who's really normal huh?






5.)  I Am A Ghost (4 spinkicks)

 Mendoza's I Am a Ghost is a slow burn ghost story that channels all the suspense of Kubrick film and releases it's madness Ti West style. You have to admire a film that throwsback to a cinematic style of vintaginess and still delivers. Add the fact the entire movie is centrally focused on one character, Emily (Anna Ishida) and in one setting, an old Victorian house and it's a bit risky endeavor. But that's why indie horror is a frontier. You'll never know if it will work if you don't try right?

I Am a Ghost plays with the viewer, forcing a WTF in every brief but cryptic scene until it slowly lets you in on the secrets that plague our dear Emily. Like a non linear jigsaw puzzle, all the pieces begin to make sense as the picture progresses (the eggs!!!) and once you see the entirety of the film, it's quite a sight to behold. It's full of chilling moments, superb acting and a twizzer twist on the ghost genre.

Mendoza's story could easily draw comparisons to The Sixth Sense, The Others and The Innkeepers but that would be a disservice. What this film does is create a sense of dread, hopelessness and mystery and reveals a young woman's disturbing secret has not been eliminated in death. It's a journey through a photographic album of a life that was full of hardship and pain, where our instinctive nature to see a happy ending won't be answered. The very nature of the ghost story is that it is suppose to scare you. But here we are in a comforting role though the scares do come in a frenetic ending.






4.)  John Dies at the End (3 spinkicks)

John Dies at the End is all that is great with indie horror cinema. It's full of wacky and memorable characters and every scene oozes more WTF from the last. It is Bill and Ted but for horror fans. The premise is so kooky, it's like you're seeing a mental patients wet dream. What JDATE does is really smack you with 80s horror ingenuity, spew out comedic literature a mile a minute while making sure you have no idea what's going to happen next.

It's really a fun horror comedy that is this year's Tucker and Dale. Dave and John (our main protagonists) are a dynamic duo who tackle apocalyptic evil in a most hilarious way possible. I had a feeling John Dies would be on my Top 10 list of 2012.

Once I finished seeing it, I knew exactly where to put it. 

It's one of the best movies of 2012 as it hits all the right notes on how effective indie horror can be when you can take the source material and be faithful to the essence of why it's a cult classic. Yes John Dies will be the strangest horror movie you will see this year. But it's the drug you need to take.






3.) The Loved Ones (4 spinkicks)

The Loved Ones is the perfect combination of sour and sweet. One moment your seeing all  hell break bloody loose and the next you're watching the nostalgia of prom night. It's the two perspectives on a special night, one that is awkwardly normal and the other straight out of a bizarro horror world. Our protagonist Brent gets the latter and it's been a while since I openly rooted for our final guy to get his revenge served cold.

This is the movie horror fans will call a cult classic and the ones horror fans will recommend to their causal movie fan friends. Prom has always had hijinky and quirky moments. That pesky virginity has to be lost. But you also grow up on that special night. In horror terms, you survive and that's all that counts.


Whatever you may think, The Loved Ones cements what I love about horror movies. Sometimes watching over an hour of hardcore horror is way too much. Intersperse it with scenes of juvenile American Pie jokes and it lessens the eye strain. The way the Loved Ones completes its plot and story arc make it feel like you watched a damn good stand alone episode of Carrie but Australian.

We'll get our prom gone all fucked up this year when Carrie goes all telekinetic, but if you want your fix now, I highly recommend you watch The Loved Ones as soon as you can. It's as good as getting a hole in your head.






2.) American Mary (4 spinkicks)

American Mary is without a doubt one of the best movies of 2012. It is a dissection into the world of body modification that takes a wrong, dreadful turn for the worst. Full of long lasting scenes of female empowerment taken to the limits, it is by far the most powerful, stylized and slickest look into one woman's journey from hopeful optimism to a revenge served cold despotism. The Soska Sisters have created a horror film that is light years ahead of their previous effort. With American Mary, they give us a Joss Whedon like character study into Mary (Katharine Isabelle), who we will see grow up and find her place in the world after experiencing severe trauma.

Never have I seen a movie that delves into this subculture, treats it respectfully and slices in a perfect horror movie inside. I guarantee American Mary will etch it's way into cult status. It's perfect blend of sly black humor, absurd and eerie characters and torturous scenes of pain and agony that equal a milkshake of cult awesomeness.

Horror movies have just grown up in a big way thanks to American Mary.



And the #1 Horror Movie of 2012 is...........






1.) The Cabin in the Woods (4 spinkicks)

The Cabin in the Woods is the best horror movie of 2012. To go even further, it probably is the best horror comedy of the last 10 years. My fellow jaded viewers, CITW is better than Scream (sorry Wes) and all its bastard children. Tucker and Dale vs Evil hinted towards a meta aware horror comedy but CITW goes lights years beyond that. Simply and concisely summarized, Cabin is a meta self aware revolutionary horror comedy that takes those structured horror cliches, be it the stereotypical characters, the irrational choices, the set direction and the mythos and goes all man behind the curtain on it.

Joss and Drew go all Wizard of Oz-ing on the horror genre and it's so brilliant, so awesome and so fucking clever you will leave the theater in a state of pure happy happy joy joy bliss and understand why #CabinintheWoodsisEPIC was trending on Twitter. It's a horror reference machine, sending you cameos, trends and cliches a mile a minute and it asks you to get it. Do you get it? Do you understand the parody of what you're seeing? You don't? Then go ask somebody. Go watch the Universal classics, the slasher franchises, the Kubrick masterpiece. Then you'll understand why Cabin is going to spawn it's own genre and some bastard children of it's own.

The Cabin in the Woods will be remembered as a game changer in the world of horror. It's a horror movie within the making of a horror movie. The Whedon elements are pure mythological magic, where he introduces something new to an audience that has long forgotten or chosen to forget why we all love the horror genre.

Goddard and Whedon break down into the slasher formula and ask the questions we've all asked before, during and after the movie. We've always questioned character motivations, absurd coincidences, elaborate backstory and heroic save the day moments but never has it been put in a movie so brilliantly and with such style and and LOL zingers.

A new generation of millennials has now been introduced us to the topsy turvy world of Hellmouth 101.

****************************************************

OK, I know you fellow jaded viewers have your opinions and your own lists. So go ahead and let me know what your top 10 is and what other flicks I may have excluded. Chime in and let me know what you think.

This list of the Top 20 Horror Movies of 2012 also is an opportunity to see the movies you may have missed that made many of the best of 2012 within the horror community. We all missed a few flicks here and there. I hope you all give all of these movies a chance and then come back and let me know what's the what.

The Jaded Viewer Related Linkage

• The Best Quotey Quotables from the Worst Movies I saw in 2012
• The Best Elephants and OMG! Movies of 2012

Categories: [rec], 2012 horror movies, american mary, Best Horror Movies of 2012, cabin in the woods, excision, john dies at the end, joss whedon, maniac, soska sisters, the loved ones, top 10 horror movies of 2012, vhs

Maniac 2012 (Remake Review)

Maniac

Maniac (2012)

Directed by Franck Khalfoun

It's been a few weeks since I saw this flick at Film Society at Lincoln Center. I had seen American Mary the night before and though I was feeling horror-ized after seeing that I got the itch to  see this flick because...well shit it's a remake of one of the most fucked up films ever.

As I passed by on my way to the theater a surreal setting of men dressed in tuxedos and women in an evening gown competition because, shit we were next to the ballet for gods sake, a bunch of degenerate and hardcore horror fans (which included Fred Vogel, director of the August Underground trilogy and various Toe Tag Pictures who I briefly talked while waiting on line) went to see the Maniac remake. I also knew director Franck Khalfoun would be on hand to do a Q & A and Maniac was making it's NYC premiere, it was all horror gravy.

It's hard to not compare Maniac to it's 1980 original. Lustig, Spinell and Savini effects takes you back to grimy fucked up times. All I kept thinking about while watching was comparing. But I'm going to try my hardest not to do that in my review.

Maniac is a far departure of the normal horror movies in the indie circuit. It's a brutal and relentless 90 minute first person point of view of a slasher doing slasher things. With it's POV gimmick, it clearly forces you to LOOK directly at the horrific kills without a cutaway. It's this forced perspective that during the course of the movie makes you in every way live the life of Frank, our intrepid killer. The horror he creates is far from playing a Call of Duty game. It's realistically sickening and oddly sympathetic as Elijah Wood's performance transcends the Joe Spinnell one in an American Psycho sorta way.

Once you get over the fact it's a remake that follows the originals story, the POV hitch, and that it takes place in Los Angeles (say what?) it is a unique piece of horror cinema. I was shocked by how it made me care about this misogynistic motherfucker, his past and his longing for companionship. From it's shocking opening  to it's WTF ending, you can't ignore Maniac's rawness of bring a serial killer movie into a whole new level.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Just when the streets seemed safe, a serial killer with a fetish for scalps is back and on the hunt. Frank is the withdrawn owner of a mannequin store, but his life changes when young artist Anna appears asking for his help with her new exhibition. As their friendship develops and Frank's obsession escalates, it becomes clear that she has unleashed a long-repressed compulsion to stalk and kill. (via IMDB)

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Khalfoun (who directed P2) said during his Q&A that horror (or genre) movies are bankable because they cross cultures. Horror movies can go beyond language barriers because fear is universal. The fact that Maniac was screened at the Cannes Film Festival is a testament to that.

Frank (Elijah Wood) suffers from migraines but that doesn't stop him from stalking his victims. His obsession is unique to us because we see his predator habits first hand via the 1st person POV. We see him drive, we hear him curse and narrate and taunt. The night is not safe with Frank and we're now stuck seeing what he sees.

The opening scene is legendary perfect. Slow stalking, a few tense moments and a dumb hot girl to slaughter. When the title gets shown, it's mind blowing and fuckin awesome. The movie soon delves into Frank's online habits, meeting up with 80s obsessed red head Lucie (Megan Duffy). She's easy prey and as a record plays, it's highly recognizable in the throwback scene we get. What is different in this Maniac is seeing the aftermath of the slaughter. A regretful Frank is nauseously guilty and we see his regret in the toilet. Through mirrors, we glance at the face of our slasher assassin and also of Elijah Wood, who's boyish scruffy look, cords and plaid are a far cry of Spinnel's porn star stache.

We get through flashbacks a sense of Frank's childhood as his super slut mom (America Olivo) sleeps with anything that has anything pointy. His closet becomes his prison as young Frank learns an anti-morality. In other words, his childhood is fucked up.

In one of the more effective kills and an homage to the original, Frank trails a dancer through the streets of LA. From a train pursuit to the moonlit streets, it seems Frank is way smarter than we know stalking his prey and disposing of her in a most horrific fashion. Khlafoun employs some odd techniques besides straight POV. We get out of body Frank as we see slaughter as the camera hovers above the action. There is a borderline psychosis in POVs but it works if you buy into it.

As the movie progresses and a few slaughters later he meets Anna (Nora Arnezeder),a photographer who is intrigued by Frank's mannequin shop. They soon develop a friendship and Frank struggles for normalcy in a relationship with Anna. This leads to an art exhibit of Anna's photos with Frank's mannequins. But Frank can't break old habits and when Frank consoles a heartbroken Anna, a slip of the tongue leads to a most fucked up conclusion.

What Maniac does well is make Frank a believable serial killer. He's an artist who could be in the throws of a psychosis. Frank suffers from headaches, taking pills to relieve them. My theory is that Frank's headaches are there to take him back to saneness, but he takes the pills to be the evil bastard he is. But it's just a theory.

Wood plays Frank in a way where you think he's misunderstood, fucked up from childhood and is victim of his eccentric behavior. Being a killer is the result. It's almost revenge like killing. Kill the sluts, the princesses and the people who annoy you. It's not until he goes after Anna who we get to know and like, do we despise his actions and want him to get his comeuppance.

Maniac force feeds you to see Frank's psychosis in all it's mannequin glory. The trophies (scalps) he gets from his victims are decorated on his mannequins.It's this fantasy world that Frank adores above all else, these mannequin women find no faults, his ideals are personified (literally).

The blood does splatter everywhere and it is unrelenting. The effects are top notch and coming through the killer's eyes is like seeing that Carpenter Halloween child Michael perspective in a  whole new way. The ending is a WTF to all your senses.

What the remake doesn't have is the character of it's setting. Though unnamed, it's LA and LA just doesn't have the filth that is 1980s NYC. Drug and crime ridden New York was a character in the original. It's where roaches like Frank would have been created. The sense of fear riding the subway and going to see hooker-ville Times Square are devoid in the remake. The original Maniac is a product of a NYC we'd like to forget and it's like the filmmakers tried to find the most lookalike 80s NYC and replicate it. Unfortunately it just can't be.

Maniac also suffers from any memorable kills. It's mundane approach of a killer doing his killing in a documentary sorta way makes repeat viewing very limited. We all know the shotgun through the windshield scene. I wanted something similar and all I got was a weird ass flesh ripper ending.

All in all, one can say Maniac is straight up horror extract. You will witness a serial killer, one as repugnant and sadistic as Frank slaughter his victims in the most gruesome ways possible. You will question why he does this (mannequin fetish, raped childhood?) and you will want him to to be a normal when there is no way he can be one.

But in the end, it's a cold blooded motherfuckin killer getting his kill on. It's a  horror movie seemingly going back to the basics of fear. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. And so is pure fucked up terror.

Nude-ipedia

Slut boobies
America Olivo boobies

Gore-ipedia

Scalp-o-ramma
Knife slaughter
Lots and lots of goreific moments

WTF moment

That crazy ending

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

Maniac comes to theaters December 26th. It's not a film for everyone, even the most seasoned horror veteran. But for the most part, it's a remake that takes the original and goes off into a new direction. It's definitely one of the most sadistic and unique horror movies this year which is why it spawned 3 spinkicks.

Rating:


Check out the trailer.

Categories: 70s grindhouse, 70s grindhouse movies, 80s slasher horror, indie film, indie horror, maniac, maniac 2 mr robbie trailer, maniac trailer, slasher films, slashers, tom savini

New York, New Yuck (NYC Movies from the Exploitation Era)

Oh New York, New York. The city so nice they named it twice (well you know they did that because they knew somebody was gonna steal the first name). My hometown is the greatest city in the world. But it wasn't always the Disney-fied, tourist filled haven we have today. I remember walking the fucked up Times Square and being offered drugs for sale at 2pm in the afternoon. Oh those were the days.

Mind you this is not me reminiscing about the 70s grindhouse Times Square, this was even in the late 80s and early 90s. I saw Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation in one of the last grindhouse theaters near the Crossroads of the World. About a dozen people packed a theater that should have been shut down. But I digress.

I love my city but the movies during the Exploitation Era made it seemed we were fuckin Detroit. And at times, they were deadly accurate. So here are 10 movies (not necessarily in fucked up order) that showed the seedier, dirtier and grimier side of NYC back in the day.

When are ya gonna come and visit?



10.) Maniac Cop

Fictional NYC is...filled with a maniac cop who kills innocent people.

Reality NYC is...filled with a maniac cops who kill innocent people. OK maybe not all the time but if your color is off white or brown you may get maimed. See ya later if you're black. The NYPD have hiccups every now and then which is why we got Rev. Al Sharpton holding a press conference and march every 10 minutes.




9.) C.H.U.D.

Fictional NYC is...filled with cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers who kill and eat people. Need I really say more?

Reality NYC is...inhabited by rats the size of footballs and insects that rival SyFy cheesiness. I'm serious about the rats as during the summer months they will show up on the train platform and wait for the 7 train while checking their Facebook on their iPhone 4. These are some of the smartest, mutant rats you will ever see.






8.) Q The Winged Serpent

Fictional NYC is...a giant serpent monster that lay its egg in the Chrysler tower and start terrorizing New Yorkers. It also likes grabbing sunbathers and window washers.

Reality NYC is... the NYPD is ill equip to handle a giant monster serpent who is under the control of a deranged madman. Sure they can stop a bomb threat or two in the middle of Times Square but let loose a ravenous monster and we're all fucked.





7.) Escape from New York

Fictional NYC is...a maximum security federal penal colony where gangs, criminals and the unwanted live in chaos.

Reality NYC is...we call this place the Bronx.





6.) The Warriors

Fictional NYC is...over run with gangs who pretty much own every piece of real estate in all 5 boroughs in NYC.

Reality NYC is...oh NYC still has gangs but they are all in the bad bad places we direct tourists to when they're lost. "You're looking for Rockefeller Center?" asks a tourist. "Oh thats in Bed Stuy, you should go at night" directs a disgruntled New Yorker. "...and be sure to wear red"





5.) Combat Shock

Fictional NYC is...deteriorating and completely falling apart. We ignore our returning vets who have shell shock, we can't get them jobs because of the economy and the streets have been taken over by drug dealers, pimps and prostitutes. Oh and all the babies are deformed freaks.

Reality NYC is...ditto. except for the deformed babies. Hmm then again, I'm sure there are deformed babies somewhere that we don't know about.





4.) Street Trash

Fictional NYC is...the homeless and the despair will drink anything to forget their troubles. NYC is where life is cheaper than a bottle of Viper

Reality NYC is...the new place where the homeless and the despair congregate is called "Williamsburg". The new drink of choice is "Pabst Blue Ribbon aka PBR" and we call these people "hipsters". You can identify these hipsters with scruffy beards, sports jackets with t-shirts and smoking Clove cigarettes and playing kickball. They are highly toxic.




3.) Ms. 45

Fictional NYC is...filled with drug dealers, pimps and gangs that prey on mute women and rape them....repeatedly. Oh yeah, vigilantism is totally legal so get your vengeance on!

Reality NYC is...now just filled with women who all look like the Sex and the City meets Hannah Montana. The women who have been scorned or fucked up get revenge by getting into flame wars on Facebook or deleting their boyfriend's WOW account. Also, somehow the ex boyfriend's comic book collection ends up on Craigslist. Wow, that's just fucked up brutal.




2.) Driller Killer

Fictional NYC is...a psychotic dude goes around killing people with a drill.

Reality NYC is...this is what most New Yorkers want to do to tourists who block pedestrian traffic.




1.) Maniac

Fictional NYC is...a mad man is on the loose and killing people all around the city.

Reality NYC is...seriously, you don't want to come here. I think I wanna move now.



When's the last time you were in NYC? Do you like our tourist friendly, Nickelodeon city now? Did you visit the city when it was a haven for debauchery and filth? Are you totally fuckin scared of NYC???

If you know of any other NYC grindhouse/exploitation movies, share em by leaving a comment below.

I *HEART* NY.

Categories: abel ferrara, exploitation, exploitation film, grindhouse, maniac, ms. 45, q the winged serpent, street trash, the chuds

2009 NYC Horror Film Festival (Featured Films)

Well October is over but for us New Yorkers, the horror keeps screaming. Just announced is the lineup for the NYC Horror Film Festival that takes place from November 18th to the 22nd.

Here's some snippers from the official press release.

The NYCHFF will take place November 18 - 22, 2009 and will be held at the Tribeca Cinemas, located at 54 Varick Street at Canal Street . The NYCHFF’s Kick-Off Gala will take place on November 18 at 8:00pm at BLVD (Spring & Bowery) and will feature five bands, 20 short films, complimentary cocktails and more.

Programming for the festival includes more than 50 horror and Sci-fi feature and short films, parties, and panel discussions.

The festival’s 2009 feature film presentations are:

Cornered (Feature / Horror)

Directed by Daniel Maze

A serial killer is stalking the gritty streets of Los Angeles . It’s all over the news, but that doesn’t stop the crew at a local convenience store from their weekly poker game. Now, trapped inside the store with a deranged killer the group must fight to make it through the night alive. Stars Steve Guttenberg, James Duval and the hysterical Ellia English.

Must Love Death (Feature / Horror / Comedy)

Directed by Andreas Schaap

Disappointed by love and suicidal people, Norman arranges to meet a group of like-minded people. But when he arrives at the meeting the alleged suicides goes very wrong and hilarity and blood start to flow freely.

Sweatshop (Feature / Horror)

Directed by Stacy Davidson

A group of rave promoters decide to throw a party in an enormous vacant factory... But when the oversexed friends throw back a few drinks and begin setting up, they soon realize, a beastly all-seeing presence resides in this enormous place, and it drags a mammoth, inhuman weapon that serves only one purpose: to end the lives of anyone who trespasses here.

The Revenant (Feature / Horror / Comedy)

Directed by D. Kerry Prior

Officer First Class Bart Gregory is killed while fighting in Middle East . His body is shipped back to the United States and laid to rest, but before the lid can be put on his tomb, Bart inexplicably awakens in his coffin and climbs from his grave; A Vampire? A Zombie? No…..A Revenant! Now, this average guy must feed on human blood or rot away.

Nosferatu; Orlok The Vampire in 3D!! (Feature / Retrospective)

Directed by F.W. Munarau

This classic 1921 silent film Directed by F.W. Murnau and staring the immortal Max Shriek as Count Orlok is reborn completely restored, remastered and brought back to life in gorgeous 3D. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for film fans to see one of the greatest and one most recognizable classic silent horror films in 3D on the big screen!

Maidenhead (Feature / Horror / Art House)

Directed by Jim Spanos

Poor Martin doesn’t have much of a life. He doesn’t have a girlfriend, he hasn’t been sleeping well, and he still lives at home... with his father, who is an obnoxious, bloodthirsty monster strapped to a bed. Did we mention he isn’t sleeping well? Martin (AJ Bowen of House of the Devil and The Signal) spends his days going numbly about the business of tending to his Dad’s grisly needs. Every day is just like the last, until Martin meets an innocent church-going girl named Meredith, who gives him hope of something more. But what about Dad?

The Shadow Within (Feature / Horror / Ghost)

Directed by Silvana Zancolo

In a gloomy and sinister atmosphere, little Maurice Dumont can’t escape his infernal reality. Dominated by an inhuman mother who rejects him, an absent father and the ghost of his brother who refuses to die. In a claustrophobic overwhelming environment, obsessed by dead and living presences, Maurice seems to have no way out, as death silently creeps into his old gothic house.

Maniac (Feature / Retrospective & Achievement Award)

Directed by Willaim Lustig

This 1980 grindhouse classic is back on the big screen! Starring Joe Spinell as the deranged Frank Zito. Frank is an embittered loser who talks to himself and his dead mother, stalks a pretty model (legend Caroline Munro), and spends his spare time brutally murdering and scalping women. A pristine 35 mm print will screen as part of this Lifetime Achievement Award program dedicated to Director / Producer William Lustig.

William Lustig Lifetime Achievement Award

As a kid, auteur William Lustig avidly watched a huge volume of lowdown trashy exploitation fare on 42nd Street ’s grindhouse theaters. Working way through the film business, Lustig found himself at the center of a storm of controversy when he made the grim, and gory landmark horror film "Maniac" which boasts an incredibly intense performance by legendary character actor Joe Spinell and hideously graphic make-up f/x by horror icon Tom Savini. Lustig followed up with the tough, gritty and exciting urban revenge thiller "Vigilante." He delivered another winner with the terrific "Maniac Cop," and the series follow ups 2 & 3, Hit List"and the suspenseful serial killer thriller "Relentless" all excellent and entertaining. Lustig's last film as a director was the nifty fright flick "Uncle Sam." William Lustig has also produced a staggering 84 films and TV projects to date. He went on to create the distribution company Blue Underground that lovingly restores and puts out some of the best classic genre films of all time!

Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet (Feature / Horror)

Directed by Frank Sabatella

Long Island, 1978: A young girl named Mary Mattock gruesomely murders her family and is locked away at the notorious Kings Park Psychiatric Center . Ten years later Mary escapes, leaving a grizzly wake of bodies and blood. Gunned down by the police, Mary meets her own demise outside the sanitarium walls. This incident gave birth to the legend of Mary Hatchet’s walking ghost and the mischievous night named in honor of her death, BLOOD NIGHT! Starring genre favorites Bill Moseley and Danielle Harris, Blood Night puts a neck-breaking spin on the gory and gut wrenching slasher films of the 80’s.

For more information and tickets, visit the festival’s website: http://www.nychorrorfest.com/.

I'm very excited to see The Revenant though I wouldn't mind seeing Maniac on the big screen for that shotgun blast to the head scene. If your in the NYC area, I would suggest trying to see one of these films...maybe I'll even see you there.

Categories: 2009 grindhouse movies, 2009 horror movies, 2009 horror trailers, 2009 NYC Horror Film Festival, maniac

Gutterballs (Review)

Gutterballs

Gutterballs (2008)

Directed by Ryan Nicholson

After watching Return to Sleepaway Camp, I decided to continue the trend of 80s slasher remakes and watched Gutterballs. Straight out the Canadian horror school of horror, it's like watching a hot, voluptuous big breasted blonde scratch a blackboard with Kreuger gloves while being decapitated.

Translation: We got awesome nudity/sex, tons of gore and splatter but really annoying, obnoxious characters who spew out vulgarities a mile a minute.

So when 2 out of 3 things work in your flick, you'll have to take the good with the bad. And so Gutterballs transcends into fun run horror, a great flick that thowsback to the 80s, literally.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

A brutally sadistic rape leads to a series of bizarre gory murders during a midnight disco bowl-a-rama at a popular bowling alley. One by one, players of two teams meet blood-drenched gruesome deaths at the hand of a black bowling-gloved masked killer. This alley runs red with blood by sunrise.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

After a 8 minute intro setting up our 80s stereotypical characters (the jerkoff asshole and his buddies, the punk rock princess and her semi-hot friends with a tranny! and the brotha and his Duckie wearing art school stoners) we get our 80s music at full blast opening credit sequence.

Set in the vague 80s we have a throwdown between our assholes and our arty farty troupe.

Let's get the annoying shit out of the way. I wanted every character to fuckin die. Even the so called "good" guys. They were all assholes. If this is by design, I do not know. I'm pretty sure starting your movie so the audience would hate everybody couldn't be intentional.

But various scenes are cringe worthy and the kill scenes are gloriously ridiculous. A 10 minute rape scene was wickedly weird. It made the Irreversible rape scene seem Disney-ish. Our sadistic jocks pinned the princess and used a bowling pin as a medieval torture device. Totally WTF.

This is in additon to full out hardcore nudity and sex. Clean beavers, full frontal woodsman shots and all the breasts you can see. Wow. I was kinda shocked at first because my 80s horror sure didn't have my teen-core eyes witness that shit.

So this leads to the bowl-off and leads to a jump with glee kills. You'd think a bowling alley would lack any creativeness for some slaughter.

Well my bowling bud, you'd be wrong. The first rule of 80s slasher horror is if you sex it up, you die. And our gutterballs slasher is happy to oblige.

Our killer, in a get up made of a bowling shirt and a backwards bowling bag as a mask made me LOL everytime. Mr. BBK is a ridiculous masked killer, with his bowling weapons arsenal and I couldn't help but root for the slasher. I also couldn't careless whodunits as long as these dip shit asshole twats got butchered.

The various kill scenes seem to get odder, bloodier and grosser as we went along. We get a suffocation by muff and johnson, a bowling pin down the throat and man-gina evisceration. We also get some bowling pin stake ocular trauma, a bowling shoes strangulation and an armored statue head bashing. What else?

We also get a bowling ball wax face ripping and the best of em all, a bowling pin stake up the ass.
A few more throat slashings and shotgun blasts and it's all good.

Gutterballs gore was splatterly fun and over the top and reached ludicrous speed by the twisty-ish ending.

Gutterballs is an entertaining rabid dog, one that keeps biting and biting without a leash in sight. If it wasn't for the F bombs and C bombs uttered every 5 secs, maybe I'd actually know what the characters names were. But when all the assholes die, yay for us.

Gore-ipedia (if you want to be shocked don't read)

The recap again...

Suffocation by muff and johnson
A bowling pin down the throat and man-gina evisceration
Bowling pin stake ocular trauma
A bowling shoes strangulation
An armored statue head bashing
A bowling ball wax face ripping
A bowling pin stake up the ass
Throat slashings
Shotgun blast to the head

Nude-ipedia (because you like boobies)

A clean shaved beaver peek
Princess boobies galore
Skanky boobies
Pudgy boobies
Johnson and johnson and more johnsons (ugh)

WTF moment

The Man-gina surgery....totally sick

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

I gotta admit. This is one of the 10 best horror movies of 2008. And hence its getting 3 spinkicks. Not every horror movie will have you rooting for a final girl but rooting for everybody to die is still a happy joy joy. Nicholson directed Live Feed (which I ignored because it look like a Saw ripofff) and I remember watching the trailer and thinking Gutterballs is utterly creative and an homage to all 80s slasher.

The vicims reveals (where we see all the victims displayed in their bloody deathy carnage) is a lost art horror form. We need more of that. It's those little things that make Gutterballs a massacre work of art.

So be warned, we've got porn and horror mixed in here. But gorehounds, rejoice! It's a combination that super sizes that happy meal.


Rating:
Check out the trailer below.

Tags:
gutterballs, gutterballs trailer , gutterballs teaser trailer , 80s horror, slasher films, maniac, slasher, gratuitous nudity, top 10 horror movies 2008, gore, bowling, gutterballs review

Categories: 80s horror, bowling, gutterballs, gutterballs review, gutterballs teaser trailer, gutterballs trailer, maniac, plot digger productions, slasher films, top horror movies of 2008

Maniac 2: Mr. Robbie (Trailer)

So after watching the infamous Tom Savini headshot scene for the 20 millionth time, I stumbled upon the Spinell archives.

As most underground horror fans know that Joe Spinell the writer and star of Maniac died before he could finish Maniac 2. But the trailer for Maniac 2: Mr. Robbie has been floating around for a while. Yay YouTube. We now all can see what could have been.

For you noobs who haven't seen Maniac, the trailer is below. For the few who haven't seen Mr. Robbie, go ahead and see sadistic 80s violence in all its glory.

Maniac Trailer





Maniac 2: Mr. Robbie Trailer




Well make that the 20 millionth and 1 time...the infamous headshot scene.





Tags:
maniac, maniac trailer , maniac 2: mr robbie , headshot scene, tom savini, carnie, top horror movies, joe spinell, gratuitous nudity, splatter films, times square 42nd street 70s nyc, , sleaze,

Categories: gore, headshot scene, joe spinell, maniac, maniac 2 mr robbie trailer, maniac trailer, serial killer movie, splatter, tom savini, william lustig

Gutterballs (Trailer)

I stumbled upon the poster for Gutterballs (I love the homage to the Maniac poster) and immediately wanted to check out the trailer which is below.

From the director of Live Feed, it seems they went with a "bad" movie set up which ultimately has gotta be fuckin hilarious.

Cardboard cut out horror slasher, stereoptypical characters and a 80s bowling alley equal the good 80s horror of old.

They've created other poster variations of other classic 80s horror movies (below).

This came out last year so I think I'll be checking it out real soon.

Check out the trailer below.

Tags:
gutterballs, gutterballs trailer , gutterballs teaser trailer , 80s horror, slasher films, maniac, live feed horror, gratuitous nudity, top horror movie 2008, gore, bowling, horror blog

Categories: 80s horror, bowling, gutterballs, gutterballs teaser trailer, gutterballs trailer, maniac, plot digger productions, slasher films, top horror movies of 2008