Showing posts with label new york city. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new york city. Show all posts

Thursday, October 24, 2019

Blackout 10 (Haunted House Review)

Posted on 6:09 PM by the jaded viewer


My last Blackout review ever.

The original and first extreme haunted house experience: Blackout is counting down on their final shows of  their large scale Halloween haunt here in NYC. So this is probably the last time I write about it.

Blackout is like an old friend who wants to reminisce about the old glory days, nostalgia the fuck out of doing wild and crazy shit and immersing yourself in being the protagonist of your own horror movie. It's the originator of WTF, sexual depravity and waiver hesitation. There is nothing like going to a random street in NYC, seeing that door with 3 dots and saying, "Oh shit." Seeing the faces of frightened newbies and relaxed past survivors is mesmerizing. A Blackout experience is a story waiting to be told to friends and having them go "You fuckin did what?"

And so I went again. To get my Blackout on.


And this last run of The Blackout Experience is full of the crazy, the depraved, the WTF and the horror nostalgia of its last 10 years. As a veteran, I classified it as a hits parade of the best it has to offer. For the uninitiated, it can offer an alternative to the traditional HH and give you a merit badge of surviving an "extreme haunted house. It's for these reasons, anybody who is up to the challenge should experience it. 

This years version had all the classics of intense touching, crawling and suffocation. It had scenes from years past resulting in ridiculous interactions with full frontal nudity acting and play acting as a serial killer victim. There was also new scenes of insane which was refreshing. You'll laugh as your jerked around from room to room, you'll have to walk through a landmine of icky and be yelled at to follow instructions to a tee.

The ending will stimulate and then you'll get your party on.

It's always a challenge of what will work and what won't. My perspective on Blackout 10 is that I am clearly jaded and having been through the mass Halloween version and off season haunts so nothing phases me anymore. But I still get thrills and chills every time I go. In retrospect, I now began to appreciate the sheer assembly line dedication of the Blackout team, the actors and everybody who gets this up and running every night they perform.  Each scene/room has Blackout dialing up things to a 10 be it with simulated torture, then dials it back to an interactive format that makes you go WTF, then revs it up again to get all confused.

Blackout is choreographed engineered chaos and horror that will 100% leave its experience like a splinter in your brain.

When I went in 2010, I was a full on horror blogging and haunted house enthusiast. I wanted to challenge myself to to see the most fucked up horror movies and go to fucked up haunted houses.
My memories of going to my first Blackout  were full of dread and happiness when I finished.  To say

I did it was an accomplishment. I survived.

I survived...

the haunted house with a safe word....
the one where you had to sign the waiver...
the one with simulated torture....
the one with sexual imagery....
the one with immersive horror scenes....

That is the legend of horror house lore that is Blackout.

From one of my other reviews, this still holds true.

Blackout Haunted House is the haunted house other haunted houses are afraid of. But it hasn't lost it's edge. Blackout continues to remove you out of your normal world, scars you with  imagery you will have dreams and nightmares about for days to come and if you survive it, welcomes you in becoming part of the scariest and challenging horror events you will ever go through. Because of Blackout, I will never see a haunted house the same way again.  You won't either.  

  The Vitals

Blackout Haunted House Reviews
Blackout Haunted House Walkthroughs
Blackout Haunted House Invite Only, Off Season Winter/Spring Haunt Reviews and Walkthroughs

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Thursday, October 17, 2019

Bane Haunted House (Haunted House Review)

Posted on 10:13 PM by the jaded viewer

There is a a new top dog in NYC for the traditional haunted house. And its name is Bane Haunted House.

In the far west side of Manhattan sits Bane Haunted House and after moving here from Jersey they are now scaring New Yorkers with a dizzying amount of jolly jump scares from some enthusiastic actors and a haunted house maze that was perfectly confusing and so much fun. In the roughly 30 minute or so walkthrough, you'll go through some nicely crafted rooms with actors who are just fuckin ninjas in their stealthiness. It all adds up to a good romp of scary for newbies and a satisfying experience for the hardcore.

So what makes Bane the top dog?

Right before you go in, the personnel gives you some playful banter and when I went, 2 people called MERCY (their safe word which enables patrons to exit after they chicken out). The ticket taker whoops it up and calls out their cowardliness.

They seemingly have a ton of actors in every crevice, window and around every corner. I stood toe to toe with a wedding dressed clothed figure trying to see if she was a mannequin or actor. You can guess which one.

Actors dedicated to their craft, who mock you with glee, who stay in character and tell you your delving into hell and who lie to you about what is going to happen next. You'll get single, double and triple actors getting you scared. When I could talk to the actors, I played along and asked my quirky questions, offered my help and they responded. Fuck, these actors gave it their all and its greatly appreciated.

The room placements are are a solid maze with some rooms with well positioned jump scaring actors and others creatively confusing on where you need to go next. It's this "everything looks the same, where is the fuckin exit?" maze that's damn well done.

You'll get hit with some creative set pieces and even a "little girl" you really don't want to play with. The little nuances of crawling and spinning were nice touches. The ending had me fist pumping as well.

Hopefully Bane is here to stay in the city. It's a top notch haunted house that clearly wants to scare the shit out of you. The actors immersively play along with you, sneak on you with well timed scares and will touch you so you soak in the creepiness. Each room builds to another more terrifying room and it concludes with a definite 360 finale that was super duper fun.

It's a great addition the NYC haunted house scene that won't disappoint. Bane.....

You're the man now the dog.

The Vitals

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Monday, October 14, 2019

Nightmare: I Can't See (Haunted House Review)

Posted on 10:30 PM by the jaded viewer

In the shadow of 1 World Trade Center is the doorway above for Nightmare NYC's I Can't See, Tim Haskell and Psycho Clan's latest Halloween immersive theater horror experience. I've attended every variation of Nightmare since 2009 when they unleashed Vampires, Superstitions, Fairy Tales, The Experiment, Killers and This is Real.

What I've always loved about every incarnation are the themes and dedication to making sure everybody who goes are immersed into a rabbit hole the Nightmare team creates and if you fully engulf yourself and play along you'll leave with a giant grin on your face.

I Can't See left that grin again.

I Can't See is an amusement park of sensory load management that challenges you to play along using your imagination all the while the Optics team makes the story seem too real. It's a clever play a long that hits you right away. The moment you walk in, I Can't See greets you with loving Optics research team and they play their part. You're briefed and then blindfolded twice while given headphones to listen to a fun story if teens doing teen stuff.

You enter with friends but it's a solo experience through and through. Listen to the prompts, follow the instructions and have your senses challenged. Touch and feel a variety of random story cues will make you jump, taste the developing scenes, smell them as well and hear the craziness.

Your sight is useless here and I imagined quite a scenario based on hearing character voices and descriptions. The story is a bit cliched but it has its moments. The ending has a good twist if you remember what you've been told.

I Can't See depends on you buying into the fact you'll need to channel your 5 year old self and imagine the story playing out while Nightmare provides you the extrasensory overload to get your chills on. You're not going to have actors jump out to scare you or see elaborate sets. So know going in, this is a theater for your imagination and you'll enjoy it.  It's like immersive podcast that challenges you just enough to get your other senses tingling, all the while avoiding "death" which may or may not come...depending on your wits.

I definitely couldn't see but I could hear my heart beating....fast.

The Vitals



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Saturday, October 17, 2015

New York Haunted Hayride (Review)

Posted on 3:37 PM by the jaded viewer

I've been to many haunted hayrides. I've been to Field of Screams (Yay!), Waldorf Estate of Fear (Nay!), Reaper's Revenge (Yay and Nay) and Legends of the Fog. So I think I know what's good and what's not. What's good is when you have those enclosures or barns that the hayride stops in and forces the riders to feel trapped then zapped with what horror the creators thought up. What's good is the actors getting up close and personal, jumping on the tractor and scaring you from well thought hiding spots.

What's bad? Well that can be summed up in one attraction: NY Haunted Hayride.

In a historic ABC Shark Tank episode, Mark Cuban invested something like a million dollars to help expand LA Haunted Hayride. With that new found cash, they headed to NYC this year and I'm not sure where that money went.

Located in Randall's Island, the trek to the hayride is an adventure in itself. You can of course Uber or taxi or drive yourself to Randall's Island, but I decided to take their shuttle which if it wasn't for the pro-Mets fan driver, you could have been a kid being lured by a serial killer in a mysterious white van.

Randall's Island is not the woods. It's home to a psychiatric hospital, a soccer stadium and fields and tons of baseball diamonds. You're going to see the lights from the skyline across the river and hear the rolling of cars from the Triboro bridge. But you work with what you have right?

Well you would think it would be redesigned for an urban environment but somehow they didn't take full advantage of NYC themes and horrors. Why not play on escaped mental patients? NYC underground sickos? But what did we get as an opener? A KISS tribute band.

Say what?

The spookiness of the entrance is indeed fantastic. Smokey ambiance with actors dressed in Silent Hill monster costumes greeted you but the line formation was simply human cattle led to slaughter. You're led to winding lines and then actually lined up as livestock in rent a fence cages. With a NY attitude a woman yelled at us to "not run to the wagon but walk"...saying this multiple times. Some of us are partially educated and I would assume even assholes would understand this. We're not idiots...well not most of us.

The slow ride on this half hour hayride has you pass through the the ominous world of Randall's Island golf center and then you get some odd non scary weirdness. A supposed rock band monsters, clowns who are clowning half ass, an orphanage with "children" and an ending that turns into some sort of gospel choir. Again say what?

In the middle of MY ride, the tractor seemingly got stuck in the mud and the driver had to ask all 20 or so of us riders to exit so he could make a U-turn. I shit you not. At first I thought this was part f the show, but somehow this was in ineptitude of a ride that turned ridiculous. The hobo actor who had sprayed us with supposed germ coughing wanted everybody to sing Happy Birthday as we waited to be reloaded into the wagon. With a highway near us, my friends and I wanted to hail a cab right then and there.

There were other "scares" along the way, most of them boring, unenthusiastic and actors who tried their best to perform but just seemed out of their element. There were a few sets and scenarios I hadn't seen in a hayride before like some caged mutant monsters and some well dressed "You're Next" killers. But nothing I'm writing to Bloody Disgusting about. I get the location was not woodsy but if injected with a NYC vibe of grittiness and city mythos, it might have turned out differently. New Yorkers are a tough people to scare and if you can turn our city dweller fear against us, you're doing your homework. Give us a fucked up scenario and we'll jump like a 10 year old kid.

For first time hay riders and non jaded haunt goers, the thrills were there. Some riders were indeed having a grand old time either screaming in horror/laughter, filming the entire journey on their phone and making one liner quips at the actors. I would assume these people are the target audience for New York's first ever haunted hayride. If you're a noob and a millennial, you may get your haunted hayride fix.

I had heard LA's Haunted Hayride was legendary but I assume NYC is not getting the full package. And that's a shame. With the lack of haunted houses this year, we deserve better.

If you want a daily dose of heart attacks, scares and hold your breath moments, best you watch the Mets play the Cubs in the NLCS.

The Vitals

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Friday, October 31, 2014

Ranking Blackout Haunted House 2010-2014

Posted on 12:00 PM by the jaded viewer

Happy Halloween!

2014 seems to be the year of the extreme haunted house. Mainstream media and sites are covering haunts like Blackout, McKamey Manor, Freakling Bros and others writing articles for and against (mostly against). I've given you the 5 Basic Levels of Haunted Houses. There is just a type of person that loves the extremeness of it all. But as more extreme haunts begin their initial inception, let's talk about the one that seems to have started it all.

Blackout.

Blackout is different each year but it garnered a reputation for it's walk through alone and full body contact touching. People (and you journalists who don't give me credit) have referenced Blackout in these articles but as a Survivor, I'm now ranking the haunted house that other haunted houses hate. These are only the October haunts and they all built up the reputation that this Halloween attraction should be feared. On to the list!



5.) 2014 (House)

The Jaded Viewer says: The first year you didn't go through alone. Less touching more Stanford prison experiment.  It's not as WTF and extreme as previous incarnations but it had some moments.

4.) 2013 (Elements)

The Jaded Viewer says: Blackout expands to LA but gets NYC leftovers. It's the first Blackout where you make choices and it has a theme. Dirty, grimy and full of rough play and nudity. The ending was intense. 

3.) 2010 

The Jaded Viewer says: My first ever Blackout and the first ever Halloween version. It's the one that had me shaking my head and going WTF did I sign up for. Condoms on the floor, full on nudity and complete total pitch black darkness and random touching became normal. One of the very best.

2.) 2011

The Jaded Viewer says: This was the year of the water boarding, the mouth rape, the bloody tampon. The angry naked man chasing me as I saved a girl chained to the floor. This was the year where I was the star of my own horror movie.

1.) 2012

The Jaded Viewer says: Blackout takes extreme to its limits. Punishment both physical and psychological. Naked ballerina, vagina condom, bucket full of shit, orders being yelled and naked girl dentist. This is Blackout working on all cylinders. The apex of Blackout. When people became afraid of what a haunted house could be. Darkness and senses being tested. Safeties were uttered a plenty.

Did you go to any of these haunts? Agree with the rankings? Comment below or on Twitter or The Jaded Viewer Facebook page!

Next up. Ranking the Blackout Off Season haunts!

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Thursday, October 23, 2014

Gateway's Haunted Playhouse 2014 (Review)

Posted on 1:00 PM by the jaded viewer

You never really know what you'll expect when you go to a haunted house. The night before you go, you start dreaming up worst case scenarios, the unthinkable, the WTF. These dreams become nightmares, frightmares and terrifying dreamscapes. When you wake up, you start to realize it's all in your head. Your mind playing tricks on you.

Then you head to the haunted house. Relatively ready and prepared that none of what you dreamed up couldn't actually be true, you enter all ready to go.

That's when Gateway's Haunted Playhouse takes your nightmare and makes it into reality.

Gateway's Haunted Playhouse is one of the most inventive, creative and clever haunted houses in all of America. This year, they've incorporated a theme of dreams and nightmares and the haunt takes this theme and amplifies it into maximum terror. You'll be diagnosed by doctors and nurses, rattled by mad patients and be stalked by killer kids. This all happening in the midst of a maze spanning indoors and outdoors and have you jumping at every corner.

This is my second time going through Gateway. I have always thought their layout is what a haunt should be. Located in Bellport, NY the haunt is built on top of an actual theater/playhouse and its all done by a cast and crew full of that DIY and indie spirit. An outdoor bar supplies liquid courage as you wait for your turn to enter the haunt and food trucks supply some fast treats. They also have outside acts like fire breathers, coffin rides and will have on tap some interactive entertainment for the family to enjoy in the next few weeks. Gateway really makes it a true night of horror-ific entertainment.

But the creme de la creme is the haunted playhouse.

The entrance is a spooktacular homage to an asylum gone wrong. You'll go in and see mental patients, doctors and nurses in all states of disarray. As you walk through, the constant echo of a simple whisper of "Don't go to sleep" will be heard, a reminder that you've enter a Freddy Krueger like dreamworld where your worst fears are now coming to life. Children, tweens and teens cackle in the dark and what seems to be lifeless corpses will reanimate without notice. Each room is crafted into it's own box of nightmare artifacts and has its unique brand of creepy. The smells will fill you with revulsion, the floors will feel like jello and keep you off balance. Tight spaces, body bags and well timed gusts of pressurized air are just one of the many things to keep you on your toes.

One of the highlights that got me literally jumping up and down are the well timed, human and computer activated props. Look out for things from above and when you think your safe an innocent looking room will fall and contract. One gigantic mechanical prop monster jump scared the shit out of me. The genius in this is that all these props and monster effects are hand crafted by the team at Gateway. These aren't your bought through a haunted house Halloween factory animatronics. They are detailed, built in house and meticulously crafted instruments of terror. You'll also encounter a school bus from hell and an ending that will have you holding on for dear life.

The production team at Gateway does a good job of spacing out the haunt so that the people don't feel like cattle. It seems a groups span 6 or so people and they are spread evenly and when it does get to feel like a line at the post office, actors will make sure to "trap" you so that it evens itself out.

The overall theme can get lost if you're not paying attention. I had hoped the actors would keep reiterating the sleep theme as you go along but it wasn't that evident at times. It did also get a bit crowded during the walk through and as I played leader, I tried to do a bit of separation from the people ahead of me. Also, some well conceived scares where darkness and an actor with a flashlight didn't go as planned. Finally, you may have to wait a bit to enter if you don't have a fast pass but being in the Midway with drink and food should keep you occupied as you wait your turn. But these are all little nitpicks in an otherwise awesome haunted house.

Gateway Haunted Playhouse should be the example of what a well executed, done with passion haunted house should be. Haunt Director Michael Baker and Managing Producer Paul Allan run a haunted attraction with stellar actors, top notch special effects and a desire to make sure you walk out of the haunted playhouse exhilarated and entertained.

Whatever nightmare you've long feared will be right in front of you when you enter Gateway's Haunted Playhouse. Halloween is a time to meet them the face to face.

Why don't you face it head on and have fun doing it at one of the best haunted houses in America.

The Vitals


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Monday, October 13, 2014

Blackout Haunted House: 2014 House (Review)

Posted on 1:00 PM by the jaded viewer

Let's talk horror remakes OK?

Some people love horror remakes, some don't. Some people fall somewhere in the middle. I'm one of those people who falls in the middle. I loved the Evil Dead and The Ring remake, others hated it. I hated the Friday the 13th and the Nightmare on Elm Street remake, some didn't. You're also going to get some horror remakes that were just good but not great. Maniac comes to mind. Horror remakes can divide horror audiences like no other.

This is exactly how I feel about this years version of Blackout Haunted House: Blackout: House. It falls somewhere in the middle. It's still got a bit of the old that I absolutely love and it's got a bit of the new.  Every year Blackout remakes itself and creates a new version venting brilliant scenes of the uncomfortable, the weird and the WTF. But this year, you'll notice that some things are missing from previous haunts.

Gone is the walking alone aspect; now replaced with groups.
Gone is the old abandoned storefronts and random buildings in the middle of nowhere. This is now replaced with a former dance club that seems to have been recently shut down.
Gone is the physical and elevated extreme nature of Blackout replaced with a psychological and more fringe theater feel.

Sure some previous years aspects are residually there, but any past reviews or walkthroughs you've read by me should be disregarded at this year haunt, just like last year themed Elements haunt, this is a new year, a new theme.

This is a  Blackout that you will either love, hate or feel something in between. You'll need to judge for yourself.

Blackout: house is a visceral interactive experience, where you'll encounter uncomfortable scenes set up for you to solve, the unseen horrors done to others and some role playing that tests your determination. In the midst of this is your group, now paramount to the experience. In a new twist, if two people in your group SAFETY, your entire group is escorted out (as mentioned in the creators AMA). Now you'll need to rely on friends and/or strangers to survive. This can either be good or bad but it actually had me terrified that a stranger could end my own experience.

This years haunt seems longer (could it really have been more than 30 min?, I'm not actually sure) than previous ones. The cult like figures return as Blackout employs a world where they are the guards in this Stanford experiment gone awry.  There is a bit of waiting before the haunt begins. But when it does, it throws you in ready or not.

Each scene is crafted for maximum WTF. Blackout virgins may be unprepared for the assault on their senses. Scenes play out and you'll need to get on board quickly with the subtle directed action ques you'll need to do to move on. Savvy veterans will easily work out what needs to be done and get that shit done. Each room you head into will have you interacting with the actors and the things in it. As this is a group thing, some people will get more attention than others. I think the actors were picking on the noobs to give them something a bit extra.

As you go along, the group will have to work together to move around and each member will be chosen for a special moment. Mine was an encounter with a lovely young actress who gave me something that tested my revulsion. I totally did it without any problems because I'm the motherfuckin jaded viewer.

The final scene plays out with everybody in your group in some sort of odd and crazy situation and here I found myself telling my fellow survivor not to SAFETY and to just do whatever instructions she was told. I followed my orders to a tee as did my entire group. After the experience, I sincerely apologized to that person in my group. She was a stranger after all and what I had to do to her was bizarrely not normal. Yes you will need to probably apologize to strangers.

My initial reaction after experiencing Blackout: house was one of confusion. I didn't know what to think. It took me a few days to digest the experience and as I replayed scenes in my head I thought of what Blackout was trying to accomplish. The group dynamic had me initially fearful that somebody would safety but as it went on, I knew the people I was with wouldn't SAFETY, they decided it was not an option. You're going to have to trust your group, that's something scary in itself. I've been use to having my own personal Blackout experience, you sometimes start comparing the past with the present. I disliked sharing and wanted it all about me.

After thinking about it, each haunt should be judged on its own merits. This years version is all about teamwork within a group of friends or strangers where the scenes are designed for you to work together for a common goal. It should be judged with all its nuances and ways this can be fun as well. Some will either dislike this and say Blackout has left what made it so memorable, the you versus Blackout, one on one experience. Others may say this opens up Blackout into a whole new way of experiencing their haunt.  I thought the group thing would have made me to do things in front of people I would regret or be embarrassed about but that wasn't the case.  I for one miss the alone experience, but I can see the merits of opening it up to groups. Again, this is for each person to decide.

I've been reading the other reviews and talked to other veterans who've experienced this 2014 haunt. The initial consensus seems to be it's less extreme this year and has more general scenes of David Lynch-ian weirdness. There also seemed to be less touching for a haunted house built on the fact they are suppose to touch you. What you get is more of the psychological and what your willing to do to get through it. I can't believe I'm writing these words, but Blackout: house is not as scary as you think it is this year.

I am sure for newcomers, they will get a thrill from all the weird shit that happens. For many, this is Blackout boot camp and they'll be seeing shit they've never seen or experienced before. Blackout has always amped up their performance as the season went on. I went on opening night where press and a few hardcorers were first to attend so maybe what I experienced will be different compared to somebody going on Halloween. I hope they get back to some "old school shit" and make alpha males and sorority girls SAFETY along the way.

Blackout is still the king of permanently embedding raw emotions and vivid memories in their haunts. It sparks a conversation like no other haunt in America. To try Blackout is to test your limits, to go to that Rope Swingers level I've written about before.  If there is a time to see if you can make it through, this is the year.

Blackout has been remade. Good or bad it has to be experienced to be believed. You have to give credit to creators Josh Randall and Kris Thorgeirsson for always reinventing Blackout every year, experimenting with new challenges and changing the rules to make it different. It's a testament to them they have not just done the same thing year in, year out.

As much as change is inevitable, it doesn't mean I have to like it. With Blackout: house you have some old and some new and a remake that Blackout survivors will be divided on. You will be saying WHAT THE FUCK?!?! and this year it will have two different meanings.

Which one will it be?


 The Vitals

Blackout Haunted House Reviews and Walkthroughs
Blackout Haunted House Invite Only, Off Season Winter/Spring Haunt Reviews and Walkthroughs
Leave any comments/questions on The Jaded Viewer Facebook Page or on Twitter  
    



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Friday, October 03, 2014

Nightmare New York Haunted House (Review)

Posted on 9:30 AM by the jaded viewer


I love my city. It's got almost everything you can think of. If you want to buy a pair of swimming goggles and grape drink, the corner bodega probably has it. You've got nightlife, restaurants and culture. NYC really is the greatest. But it wasn't always this way.

Back in the 70s and 80s, it was a living breathing cesspool of fucked up depravity. Millennials weren't born yet so giving them a chance to time travel to this evil version of NYC is a horror movie come to life.

That's where Nightmare New York Haunted House comes in. For the last 2 Halloweens, Nightmare has given us an array of serial killers in all different forms but this year they've given us a theme that will have you looking over your shoulder in each unique and nostalgic room.

Nightmare New York is a stroll through the pre-Disney, hobo loving, pervert molesting, roach crawling cesspool of NYC 2-3 decades ago and it's nostalgic depraved fun. It's hard to imagine this dystopian NYC was actually real but for those who lived here (including myself) have memories, some good mostly bad. A time where the ghosts of the Dakota went all Shining. A time where once you got off from Times Square, you got mugged in 2.9 seconds. A time where the subway was the most dangerous place in the entire world. A time where flashers and degenerates had you running to the other side of the street. A time of rampant serial killers including David Berkowitz and the legendary Cropsey legend. A time where killer viruses created Typhoid Mary, a person who knowingly spread this Ebola like virus. And finally a time where roaches and rats were as common as pigeons and squirrels and could make Stone Cold Steve Austin squeal.

Nightmare NY gives you a showcase showdown of the worst NYC had to offer back in the day. With the actors spinning tales of days gone by and giving you in your face performances, they leave a lasting imprint of this bizarro NYC some have tried to forget. In the midst of this, the scares will come from expected places haunted house veterans will notice but noobs and Ugg wearing tween girls will be in for some shocks and surprises. I loved the Dakota room's "special effects" and subway car room the best. The maze from room to room isn't without some in between fun and the infamous pseudo safe haven that has you going outside at Nightmare has a new twist this year.

Veterans of Nightmare may find the walk through of the 20 minute maze unscary but Nightmare is a mix of old school animatronics, actors hiding in plain sight and well designed throwback rooms that should be seen to be believed. There were some missed opportunities that could have been improved. The 1980s subway car was asking to play on old school stereotypes (maybe some stereotypical hobos and mugger types mixed in with Wall Street types and the killer is not who you'd expect). Also, Nightmare gives you the option to be touched (faux blood will be marked on your forehead) which was an ample opportunity to be exploited in different ways (especially when you go outside) and in other rooms where getting up close and personal would have made even the most alpha-est of alpha males squirm. Finally, past end rooms Nightmare has done ended in a literal BANG! though Nightmare could have had you covered in pretend critters and crawlers that would have freaked anybody out.

Nightmare New York is a relentless look back to when the city that never sleeps took a long Rip Van Winkle nap and while the city slept, the lunatics and maniacs decided it was time to party. Nightmare celebrates this and it's most amped up level and if you have nostalgic memories, have longings to relive this version of NYC or want to see what it was like way back when, Nightmare New York is waiting for you to give you a full self guided tour.


The Vitals
Check out the trailer


For a full schedule of performances visit www.hauntedhousenyc.com



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Thursday, September 25, 2014

Blood Manor 2014 (Review)

Posted on 8:00 PM by the jaded viewer

Blood Manor really wants to provoke all sorts of reactions for all who go through its doors. And that reaction can come in many ways. Being scared shitless, getting angry after a well timed quip or hainv a feeling of dread as you enter from room to room.

It's why it's the go to blockbuster haunted house in NYC.

I've been going to Blood Manor since 2009 and the rooms have always been top notch and the actors as intimidating and sarcastic as ever. What you don't realize is the level of effects that go in as makeup and costumes transform regular actors into a split personality schizo monsters. They'll get in your face, chew your ear off (literally if they had a chance) and the sheer girth of some of these actors is as intimidating as their personalities.

All of this happening while you're trying to find the exit.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Blood Manor is the Michael Bay of haunted houses. The walk through in Blood Manor is as frenetic or as easy going as you want it to be. The actors laugh hysterically and maniacally. They say they want to be your friend but they're probably going to just fuck with you in every way possible.

The ending is as its been for the last few years, highly colorized. But still seems to make Blood Manor distinctly pre-packaged scary. This year they've added a few new touches to scare and to make everything more orderly. A time ticket cuts wait times and a "Touch Me Thursday" as limited touching by the actors. After Halloween, Blackout Nights aim to amp up the dread.

If your tween girl needs to get her haunt on, Blood Manor is her pumpkin spice latte.


The Vitals

 Check out the trailer below.



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Thursday, October 31, 2013

The Jaded Viewer Halloween Super Awesomeness Adventure Guide

Posted on 1:00 PM by the jaded viewer

Happy Halloween jaded viewers.

If you're looking for super awesomeness today, you've come to the right place. Below you'll find all my reviews for all the NYC haunted houses and Halloween events as well as a few of the Long Island haunts I went to.

Whatever your poison is this Halloween, remember to check for razor blades in apples. That really happens.

New York City

Long Island
Maryland
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Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Gateway's Haunted Playhouse (Review)

Posted on 1:00 PM by the jaded viewer

To find the the very best haunted houses in New York, you sometimes have to venture away from the city. I've been stuck within the city limits, but with the help of The Raven and Black Cat and Survivor Bailey Squared we all jam-packed into a car and road tripped to the various haunts of Long Island a few weeks back. Our final stop was Gateway's Haunted Playhouse, a haunt that has been on top 10 lists and voted #1 haunt in LI for consecutive years. I didn't know what to expect, I had only read a few Yelp reviews but "C" from TRABC had proclaimed it as one of the best haunts she's ever been to.

And after experiencing it, I absolutely 100% agree.

Just to put it in writing, Gateway's Haunted Playhouse is one of the best haunted houses I have ever been to. The set pieces, the actors and the dedication to making something new and inventive separates Gateway from the rest. It's a haunt like no other. Located in Bellport, NY the haunted playhouse takes place at an actual working playhouse. This theater is transformed into an inside and outside haunt that this year goes from circus freakshow to twisted fairy tales. It's this dedication to authenticity that stands out. The props and rooms are made from scratch, the actors immerse themselves into their parts and the scares are well timed and flow perfectly. This is as close to a perfect haunted house as you can get.

First, let's go over the atmosphere and how they've set up their ticketing and line system. Sure they have a fast pass option but you buy tickets on a first come first serve basis. When your ready to be called, they'll let you know. In the meantime, you get to wait by having drinks and being entertained by performers (when I went I saw a fire eater, you know typical HH stuff). Even the waiting is designed to be less of a hassle as you can wait.

Entering the haunt in small groups, you'll encounter the backstage...literally. Each prop, room and setting seems systematically designed to transport you into another world.  From the bizarre world of behind the scenes of a theater to a 1000 Maniacs like circus county fair, you get to walk into a maze of twists and turns that have you literally trapped with these crazies. And they are wonderfully awesome highly interactive crazies.

Outside you'll walk into an assortment of freaks and weirdos. Dog and lizard boys and a grandmaster who mocks you. It's a miss mash of the bizarre and the abnormal and it's done with that flair for the absurd that makes you glad you were here. An ambulance oddly placed is creatively fun to go through and as you head inside, you wish you could hang with these lovely nuts for the rest of the night.

Inside the funhouse it gets funner. We enter a dreamworld of the most fucked up fairy tales you'll ever encounter. From Hansel and Gretel to Rapunzel, each room is a twisted Disney prince and princess as if they were locked in a dungeon and brutally tortured. The rooms are brilliantly dressed and even the in between rooms connect it all together. It's not just the visual and the auditory. Here at Gateway you'll smell things that go from sweet and happy to repulsive and disgusting. It's smell-o-vision and it is freakin awesome. Darkness leads to strobe lights that lead to rooms where walking becomes a chore. This leads to an ending that will literally knock you off your feet.

I do think this wonderland could have reached into the fear bucket a bit more. It's more a walk through Oz than a terror factory. Sure there are your fair share of jump scares but all was pretty standard when it came to the BOOs! If there is one place that can make the darkness more terrifying, I think it would be Gateway and I hope they try next year to add this element in.

Aside from my wish list, when you have your working parts working in sync, Gateway Haunted Playhouse is 40 or so minutes of exhilaration. You can see this isn't your store bought haunt with Travel Channel approved animatronics but a world class production making sure you get a one of a kind experience. Each room is like a hot set, dressed  a Hollywood production. The actors engulf themselves in their roles, their costumes designed to be realistic, their makeup world class. It's like getting walking through an interactive Broadway horror show.

My last stop in LI turned out to be the best. It reminds me that the best isn't always in the city limits. Gateway Haunted Playhouse is the type of haunted attraction that is made by people who want to scare and entertain you in the best way possible. It's far from those assembly line haunts you've all been to. When you've been to as many HH's as I have, you keep looking for the next best thing.

All I had to do was make a trip out east to find it.

The Vitals



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Saturday, October 26, 2013

Adventureland's Nightmare on the Midway (Review)

Posted on 1:00 PM by the jaded viewer

To find the the very best haunted houses in New York, you sometimes have to venture away from the city. I've been stuck within the city limits, but with the help of The Raven and Black Cat and Survivor Bailey Squared we all jam-packed into a car and road tripped to the various haunts of Long Island. Our first stop was Jesse Eisenberg approved, Adventureland's Nightmare on the Midway and if you're looking for a place to take the kids, this is it.

The Long Island staple of amusement parks Adventureland is rich with nostalgia and oozes of summertime throwback fun. Adventureland is trying their luck with Nightmare and for a family friendly Halloween adventure, it's pretty solid. This month it as has been turned into a spooky Halloween attraction complete with monsters running amock and rides to be ridden in the pale moonlight. And they do have some haunted houses to get your fright on.

After sundown, you'll get to go to a zombie themed maze, "Zombie Asylum" which is a quick romp with screaming actors and an Addams family approved props ranging from wired gates keeping the costumed undead away.  It's as PG-13 as you can get and the tweenagers should be happy with their walk through. Teenagers may have attitude as they get accosted by other teenagers looking to scare them. Lots of screaming by both parties.

A haunted train ride which probably in the daytime is innocent is turned into something the kids who need to get their hayride fix in may enjoy. The train takes you all over the mini me park and slows down as stealthy actors in a variety of costumes and make and even one in a military style grass camouflage BOO you during the ride. The train passes a few stationary settings with Spencer Gifts props and animatronics but it's the actors that do their best to make it work. "S" from RABC, suggested there should be a tour guide who possibly could give you a story to what you'll encounter. I highly agree. A guide would distract from the actors ready to pop up for the jump scare.

Finally, we encountered a ride that made inner kid me smile. An old school Haunted Mansion like ride-a-long that has you encountering old school animatronics mixed in with some digital tech and packed with Universal monsters from Dracs to mummies. Good stuff. I love Disney like rides and with the ride a passenger for two, tweens will probably like it more.

Adventureland is trying something new and they are off to a good start. They've been adapting as they go along and have already made a few changes to make it all a good time for the Halloween starved Islanders and city folk who road trip out there. To compete in the multi million dollar Halloween haunted house industry in October, you really do need to stand out from the rest. I would highly suggest they take their namesake and milk the fact a movie with zombies in it took place in something similar. Wouldn't you want to go to a working Zombieland attraction? I would.

Nightmare on the Midway is a solid Halloween attraction for families, tweens and those high octane millennials. Riding a roller coaster at night with Jason Voorhees stalking you in is great (this happened!), a few mazes for your jump scares and old school rides that make you all nostalgic.  For a packaged price, the rides and Halloween themed attractions are hard to resist.

Now if we get a few more zombies chasing me around the park, I'd be happy as Carl when got his gun back from Rick in the last episode of The Waling Dead.

The Vitals

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Monday, October 21, 2013

Blackout Haunted House: Elements 2013 (NYC Review)

Posted on 11:00 PM by the jaded viewer

[This is just a review of Blackout Elements. A spoiler filled walkthrough will follow after the show's run ends.]

Well if you're reading this fellow jaded viewers, you have probably read all the stuff  I've ever posted about Blackout. There is no doubt that this once upon a time, urban legend of a haunted house, the one where "they touch you" and "they water board you" is now a full fledged powerhouse now running in both NYC and LA and will be unleashed in Chicago in December. The formula is being copied by mega haunted houses all over the country and even Kickstarters are being created to fund what seems to be a poor copy cat. But to experience Blackout, the original waiver signing, full frontal nudity and torturific experience is one that has to be done in NYC, where filth and grime are synonymous with the people. Who are these brave souls who dare go to the haunted house the other haunted houses are afraid of?

What's odd is the people who decide to go. Blackout participants aren't just goths or metalheads, but normals from all over the city who flock to Blackout to experience what the fuss is all about. Abercrombie and Fitch sweater alpha's wait in the lobby with motherfuckin gangsta wannabes. Old grampas walk in with college freshmen. They all come because they're curious and want to try their luck at the most extreme haunted house in America.

I went twice this year. The first during opening night and then last week. In essence, I saw the same show but with notable differences. I also saw an evolution as well as it seems night after night and possibly patron after patron never had the same experience. Because this year, with it's elemental theme which I'll get to later, people get to choose what happens top them (though they can choose, they never know what will happen). It's a simple choice between letters but leads to the fact that if two people went back to back, they'd wouldn't see the same rooms or get the same experience.

So like previous years, everything in October is entirely new from last year. This is the first time Blackout has employed an overarching theme to their haunt. Previous years were completely changed but this was the first time both NYC and LA get the same basic haunt. Located at 164 Eleventh Ave, near Chelsea Piers in Manhattan, the location brought back memories for me of their off season haunt in 2011. I was very familiar with the space but it's been turned into a deviously constructed maze that  Jigsaw's deranged uncle might have created. The lobby is ominous and has that NYC smell of decay. Even the staff  you'll meet immediately will let you know they aren't here to take any of your shit.

What takes place behind the walls is a curious mix of old school Blackout brutality, psychological warfare, sexually charged feargasms and an ending that will have most people scared stiff. But your journey through is an obstacle course through the Captain Planet approved Elements. You'll encounter water, air, earth and fire in some form or the other. Each of these will happen in the company of  archetypes such as enforcers and delicates (it's the best way to describe these variety of characters). There will be moments of lull followed by all out assaults on your senses and sometimes lack thereof. Blackout has a reputation of silently stripping you of your sight, drowning your hearing and making you touch repulsion. This year, they'll earn it again but are more clever in how they do it.

Like previous haunts, Blackout test your limits in being touched . It's not a simple tap on the shoulder but a tad more aggression in the form of being bearhugged and having your face being used as a palette. You'll also  have to trudge through various obstacles, climb and crawl and kneel and experience all sorts of levels of uncomfortableness. It's 30 or so minutes of shock and awe and all sorts of general weirdness designed to indoctrinate you into the world of Blackout. The willing should go in wanting to play their part in the show, obey all the commands and descend into the madness of it all. You've paid to be part of this interactive horror movie, be that final guy or girl so play the fuck along. Milk the haunt for all its worth. Even though it felt a bit ridiculous that's what I did and it amplified my victim-hood.

Both times I went, I had the same overall basic experience. However, the October trip was a bit more cleaner in it's execution and amped up a level. The beta test in September has been tweaked with heavily and there were parts I loved like the original ending. It played with a theme which referenced the 2013 off season haunt and I do love those Blackout easter eggs. It's hard not to compare the two experiences but as a whole, now looking back I'm glad I did it twice as seeing the changes gives me a perspective I wouldn't have otherwise.

With your choice factoring in, going twice has its advantages in that choosing the opposite of what you had selected previously opens up rooms you had no idea existed. This level of interactivity is refreshing and different. It's a gimmick that will have you second guessing, fueling a what if scenario for days after. Going with friends may give you a glimpse into what you missed though the choice is really up to you. It's an odd sensation to try to be coherent while shit is hitting in the fan all around you.

What I did miss is what worked well in previous Blackout experiences, their namesake. You will encounter darkness in spurts, strobe lights and all sorts of icky. It's the elements that are taking center stage this year and you should be well aware that anything I've written before is mostly NOT going to happen.

I would also have liked a unifying story that would tie the haunt together in a way that would have transcended the other theme running through. If each successive scene in different rooms built up a level of crazy that led up to the final uber ending, I think the payoff was there. Horror movies are all about the buildup and I hope one day Blackout employs a centralized mythos during their haunt.

The actors give it their all and at times will tailor the experience to what you do and how you react. They may improv as they go along and add a few things that worked on others. The fact they can keep modifying the attraction is a clear indication that creators Josh Randall and Kristjan Thorgeirsson are smart enough to know fear is subjective and you have to adapt to your audience even if it means person by person.

There is only one haunted house that pushes you into another dimension of twilight zone like horror and it's Blackout. New, inventive and full of WTF moments. Elements is brilliantly awesome. It has a way of fucking with you like no other haunted house can. It has never positioned itself as a traditional haunted house. It's evolved into something without comparison even through it's being carbon copied by others. What you realize is that it teeters on the edge of extreme audience participation and that most people will wonder if the team behind this production are seriously mentally disturbed.

But shouldn't we all question if the people who pay for it are as well?


 The Vitals

Blackout Haunted House Reviews and Walkthroughs
Blackout Haunted House Invite Only, Off Season Winter/Spring Haunt Reviews and Walkthroughs
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Friday, October 18, 2013

Blood Manor 2013 (Review)

Posted on 1:00 PM by the jaded viewer

You should be overly familiar of Blood Manor by now. I've reviewed this NYC Haunted House staple for 5 years straight. I first went in 2009, then 2010, 2011 and 2012. So it's been churning out the scares well before I went and it's still going strong. What you'll get from Blood Manor is what you get every year. Scared tweens, tweenagers and brave mom and dads who accompany their kids into an elaborate maze of solid sets, sarcastic and stealthy actors and zombie strippers.

This year is reminiscent of past years and it's without a doubt one of the haunted houses you will need to go to at least once if you're in New York City in October.

My past reviews say it all when you go to Blood Manor so I'll take the best quips from each year to let you know what's the what.

2009

"Blood Manor is so jampacked with horror goodies, it's like a carnival of wickedness. You really feel like they've made every effort to get you scared and the level of detail in every room is quite  magnificent. The team at Blood Manor is very aware of horror culture, referencing all your favorite slasher icons and adding a few of their own. Simply, it's the perfect dessert after eating a bucket full of candy goodness."

 2010

"Blood Manor is the James Cameron of haunted houses. Big production values, absolute detailed rooms and actors who really get into their roles. That's Blood Manor in a nutshell. You're not going to get story or themes here like other haunted houses. It's pure frightening eye candy and like a summer movie, you kinda know what to expect but it still scares the shit out of you."
2011

 "As one of the most famous haunted houses in NYC, Blood Manor has gotten its reputation as the ultimate BOO! haunted house and it's well earned. It's full of elaborate, breathtaking sets, actors full of mischief and high tech wizardry. Year after year, Jimmy Lorenzo, Jim Faro and Mike Rodriguez amplify the experience of Blood Manor by tweaking the scare-o-meter and hiring a next generation of actors (half of them are new this year) who can appear stealthy but also get in your face."

2012

"Blood Manor is a staple of NYC Haunted Houses. If you've never been, it's a must go. They are indeed the blockbuster of all the haunted houses in the city combining Tim Burton style rooms with a mix of Universal monsters horror and high tech wizardry. They seem to always be on the cutting edge of pushing the tech aspect of haunted houses and the actors come full prepared to torture you with invisible scares and smart ass remarks.....Also I did mention zombie strippers right?"


The Vitals

 Check out the trailer below.

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