Adam Green's 2014 Halloween Short!

via ArieScope

Adam Green has done 15 Halloween shorts and he continues it this year. I've featured these before and they are always fuckin awesome.

And you know what, I'll watch anything with the lovely Brea Grant.

Here's the synopis:

A quick Skype call between a husband and wife on Halloween night takes a disturbingly dark turn in Adam Green (HATCHET, FROZEN) and ArieScope Pictures' 16th annual Halloween short film starring Shawn Ashmore (X-MEN, THE FOLLOWING, FROZEN) and Brea Grant (HEROES, DEXTER). Lock up your dog and stock up on full-size candy bars for the Trick or Treaters coming to your door this year as you watch and enjoy.

Check it out below!


Check out all of ArieScope shorts!

Categories: Adam Green, adam green shorts, brea grant, frozen, ghosts, halloween, happy halloween, hatchet, hatchet 2, horror short, saber short film, serial killer movie, short film, the shortround

Nightmare Killers 2 Haunted House (Review)

As you enter Killers 2: A Nightmare Haunted House, a man tells you about the horrors of unsolved murders and gruesome murders of NYC and around the country. It's pretty terrifying to know serial killers are out there, somewhere waiting, hunting. If this doesn't unnerve you a bit, maybe a walking Jeffrey Dahmer lookalike will. The notorious reputation gained from last year's haunted house Tim Haskell's sequel is actually more terrifying and spectacularly awesome than the previous version. The rooms move like clockwork, the performances are top notch and set up jump scares that will have you jumping out of your shoes and an ending that will make you rethink walking down an infamous street.

Nightmare Killers 2 is a perfect clash of documentary meets haunted house terror. You may not know who each of these infamous serial killers are, but they all will be imprinted in your mind once you leave. If there is one New York City haunted house you and some friends want to get your scare on, Killers 2 is it. It has all the elements of the traditional room scares, the sets that go from tight spaces to creepy uncomforableness and just the right amount of scares from being the first person in to the last person out.

Wikipedia the Killers

Like last year, I attended Killers 2 with the lovely "L" from Downtown Traveler. It seems we are both adept at being both jaded upon all haunted houses these days with the thing scaring us the most is not being able to know where to go next.  Upon entering the Clemente Soto Velez Cultural and Educational Center, you'll be greeted at the acid trip paintings of some of history's notorious serial killers with a some notes on their gruesome murders and crimes. I highly suggest you read these blurbs so you know who you'll be meeting once you go in. This year also has a Killers Act Stage where a variety of performers (ranging from some piano playing to spoken word when I was there) perform for the people waiting on lines. It's something to watch instead of playing Candy Crush on your phone.

Molested by Uncle John

In keeping with what worked, Nightmare brings back the option of being touched by the actors. If you choose to do so some double XX blood splatter will be marked on your forehead. I of course chose this option because who doesn't liked getting touched by depraved psychopaths? Patrons will go in groups of 6 or so and it actually is the perfect amount to get the most of each room. Groups work best as you can laugh at others being scared shitless.

I won't spoil the rooms but this years version seems to up the ante. Actors will get up close and personal, yell out instructions and retort with their own brand of devlish humor if you disobey. You'll get a variety of rooms, with set designs that you may remember and others that are intricately detailed with 70s and 80s nostalgia. And with these elaborate sets are the infamous killers, telling their wicked tales of murder and dementia. Last years version had the creme de la creme, this years we get some familiars and a few that you probably never heard of (I didn't). Harrison Graham and Aileen Wournos might have you Googling but Charles Manson and Richard Ramirez will have you going oh oh. A few fictional killers will make appearances as well and were quite a surprise.

Each room tells a tale and the actors do a great job of giving you some Wikipedia about these maniacs before the unsuspecting participants get BOOed! It's in your interest to immerse yourself in each room and get an idea of the story each rooms pulls off. If you partake earlier in the season, you'll have at least a minute and a half in each room and the haunt paces it nicely making sure you get to spend quality time with each killer. You'll be asked to perform some actions and marked foreheads will get extra attention. I was again molested by John Wayne Gacy (goddamit I hate clowns) as I made a new friend in his basement. Nightmare seems to moving over into that edge of getting under your skin with the touching and even my sarcasm directed to the actors didn't break their concentration. Uncle John promised me candy. I didn't get any.

Later on "L" got abducted by Richard Ramirez and I was called an "asshole" by a certain American Slasher. The actors truly make it work and even go into the surreal with Wuornos room being very. It would seem you can get 20-30 minutes out of the whole experience though I found myself trudging into each room head on and allowing myself to get up close and personal. 

WTF is for WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCK?

Nightmare had a few rooms that seemed anti climactic. An outside adventure that had Dexter last year was a bit more subdued. There was some cushioned narrow corridors and a swamp that had me mesmerized by the design but also as scared as watching Twilight. However, the ending of a certain Harrison Graham was completely bonkers and I had remnants my encounter with a certain "monster" all over my shirt. That to me should have been the ending but instead we get a post credits scene that made it anti climactic. But overall, that last encounter proved priceless to myself and it was something I would not forget.

With Halloween fast approaching, each room may not get your full attention as crowds and actors will speed read their lines and scare faster. I think if you go before Halloween or after, you'll get the full effect of what Nightmare Killers 2 has to offer.

Killers 2 is one of those haunted house sequels that actually outdoes its predecessor. The direction, the pace, the actors, the killers and the overall experience is one that seems fine tuned and in flow. New York City is a scary place in itself sometimes but even the hardcore jaded New Yorker needs to go to a place that creates a scare machine to test his limits.

Why not attempt to go through a maze of serial killers? If you pass that test, it's like getting a gold star and some candy.

Just don't get molested by Uncle John.

The Vitals

• Official Site
• Like on Facebook
• Follow in Twitter
• Check out Tim Haskell's blog I Scare You!
• Click here to buy Tickets
• Killers: A Nightmare Haunted House is located at Clemente Soto Velez Cultural and Educational Center (CSV) located at 107 Suffolk Street (between Rivington and Delancey)
• More pictures at The Jaded Viewer Facebook page
• ENTER TO WIN ONE FREE TICKET to Nightmare: Killers 2! 

Check out the trailer

For a full schedule of performances visit www.hauntedhousenyc.com

Tickets for NIGHTMARE: KILLERS2 are $30 - $60 and available at www.hauntedhousenyc.com, or at the box office prior to each performance.   


Categories: halloween, haunted house, killers, new york city, nightmare haunted house, nightmare killers, nightmare superstitions, nightmare vampires, nyc haunted house, psycho killer, serial killer movie

The Loved Ones (Review)

The Loved Ones

The Loved Ones (2012)

Directed by Sean Byrne

A standard horror movie runs about 90 minutes. When it runs 80 minutes you start to think "Well, it seems there were some budget concerns". But you can do a lot in 80 minutes and The Loved Ones does just that.

Released in 2009 in Australia, one can only wonder why this movie didn't get at least a theatrical release. Is it because Hollywood plans a remake? God knows they wouldn't have the balls to make it. Sean Byrne's debut film is filled with WTF moment after WTF moment, it's relentless and will make gorehounds ejaculate with glee (that's glee you perv). What it also does is pack some black humor into the mix, as the torture porn is packed with LOL bizarre moments. A "B" story also gives us some high school comedy like moments that eases our tension throughout the film.

The Loved Ones is the perfect combination of sour and sweet. One moment your seeing all  hell break bloody loose and the next you're watching the nostalgia of prom night. It's the two perspectives on a special night, one that is awkwardly normal and the other straight out of a bizarro horror world. Our protagonist Brent gets the latter and it's been a while since I openly rooted for our final guy to get his revenge served cold.

This is the movie horror fans will call a cult classic and the ones horror fans will recommend to their causal movie fan friends. Prom has always had hijinky and quirky moments. That pesky virginity has to be lost. But you also grow up on that special night. In horror terms, you survive and that's all that counts.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

When Brent turns down his classmate Lola's invitation to the prom, she concocts a wildly violent plan for revenge. 

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Poor Brent. He gets a case of those sad as his father dies in a car crash as Brent who was driving avoids a figure on the road. Months later, he has an overly concerned mom and a pretty hot girlfriend Holly. He also has a horndog best friend, likes Metallica and smokes weed.

Lola has not none of that. Just a crazy fucked up dad and some finger licking good chicken.

And so begins one of the best movies of 2012. Soon Lola's obsession for Brent has her having her own personal prom with Brent, her insane dad and zombiefied mom and something in the basement. It's not going to be good times for Brent as he's going to have to endure a Hostel torture endurance challenge that would make even Eli Roth squeal. In a parallel story, Brent's BFF Jaime goes to prom with Mia (a goth chick chopped full of attitude). It's this story that gives us breathers in between Brent's unfortunate events. As his girlfriend and the sheriff search for our missing final guy, it all leads to a punch in the stomach ending.

What The Loved Ones does so effectively is not take it self so seriously. It's a horror movie no doubt but the mood is a mix of 80s John Hughes high school melo-comedy if it were on bath salts. The movie is very tight. There are no scenes that seem unnecessary. Nobody goes and talks in wild tangent monologues. We get serious bang for our buck and the ride is so demented, so fucked up and so hilariously awesome you want to say why can't all horror movies be this good.

Describing The Loved Ones, you'd easily say it's about a demented wannabe prom queen who tortures her obsession. But in a way, it's got suspense thriller written all over it. In a way, it's  kidnapping plot through and through where everybody is trying to figure out where the hell did Brent go? You want him to escape (and he does have his chances) and you want him to defend himself and somehow not get as badly damaged (but he totally gets badly fuckin damaged).

The performances are pretty dead on. Xavier Samuel plays a quiet, reserved but resilient Brent. At times he goes silent, showing the pain through serious squeamish inducing interrogation scenes. The father played by John Brumpton goes outback killer daddy. Skilled with experience on making people scream. But it's Robin McLeavy as Lola aka Princess who's decked out in a pink prom dress that steals the show. She plays the sadistic serial killer perfectly, blending in kid like happys with some black humor. Clearly insane, McLeavy does a fantastic job in bringing up fucked up bitch to a whole new level.

The Loved Ones does go into arduous scenes of Hostel territory. The slice and dice torture of Brent is masterfully executed. Armed with knives and a power drill, Lola executes her fucked up torture on a soundtrack of not being pretty enough. It's the little things that give you a glimpse of how Lola's world is like Leatherface family on steroids. Her mom has been zombified, she keeps a scrapbook of her best boy toys now dead and loves milk and chicken. It's well crafted to make you hate her so that by the end, you may want to clap at her demise.

Within here are skilled WTF moments, the craziest being what the fuck is in the basement. Also, just skilled playful scenes of a boy stuck in a tree. It's the balance of black LOL humor and horrific massacre of bodily harm that works. Because when we're not seeing Brent fucked up, we follow his BFF Jaime and his prom date Mia. It's this 80s comedy throwback of stoner boy with goth-tard chick doing teenager hi jinks that balances both story lines as we watch, then connects them at the end.

So you may ask who are the loved ones? Well it seems love comes in all form from what Byrne point of view. A father to a daughter, a mom/dad to a son, a girl to a boy, a crazy sicko girl to a boy. A boy to his dog. Clearly we must decide which relationship strikes a chord the most to us and realize love can be good or it can become the evilest thing you've ever seen. 

Whatever you may think, The Loved Ones cements what I love about horror movies. Sometimes watching over an hour of hardcore horror is way too much. Intersperse it with scenes of juvenile American Pie jokes and it lessens the eye strain. The way the Loved Ones completes its plot and story arc make it feel like you watched a damn good stand alone episode of Carrie but Australian.

We'll get our prom gone all fucked up this year when Carrie goes all telekinetic, but if you want your fix now, I highly recommend you watch The Loved Ones as soon as you can. It's as good as getting a hole in your head.

Nude-ipedia

Some steamy car sex boobs

Gore-ipedia

Lots of moments Kathryn Bigelow would be proud of

WTF moment

Finding out what was in the basement

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

The Loved Ones is out on DVD. Check out the official site. I really do recommend this film. It's a perfect horror film that should not have been relegated to straight to DVD status when it hit American shores last year.

Rating:


Check out the trailer.

Categories: 2012 horror movies, australian horror, Best Horror Movies of 2012, crime thriller, gore, indie film, indie horror, prom queen, serial killer movie, splatter, splatter gore, top horror movies of 2012, torture porn

KILLERS: A Nightmare Haunted House 2012 (Review)

"It's just a nightmare, let's put it that way. It's been a nightmare for a long time, even before I was caught … for years now, obviously my mind has been filled with gruesome, horrible thoughts and ideas … a nightmare."

-Jeffrey Dahmer, serial killer

You aren't going to NOT get a controversy when you open up a haunted house based upon history's most notorious serial killers. That's what Tim Haskell has been thinking about since it was announced. He has put his thoughts on his blog as why this year's edition has killers as a focus. In a nutshell he writes:

"The events inside the haunted house are fast and visceral and do not reenact any of the crimes. We treat these killers for what they are – killers. We should be afraid of them. They are terrifying, and will be presented that way."

So once you get over the fact that, we Americans, as a whole have fascination with the psyche of these men and women you start to realize that they become more real as monsters than any vampire or zombie ever could. They are true boogeyman in every sense of the word. Nightmare: Killers is a culmination of the fear that these depraved, sick individuals actually walked the streets we walked and their crimes were more horrific then anybody dream up. The fact we can role play on that fear through a 20-30 minute haunted house is indeed what Halloween is all about.

So let's get into the fact that even though this is a bit heavy on the subject manner, haunted houses are designed to get your heart pounding and to have fun.

Nightmare Killers is, from room to room one of the best designed and acted haunted houses I've been to. Within each room you get a sense of the terrifying tales of woe behind each killer, a set design matching a "hot" Hollywood set and scares that are seamless in their execution. Even when I went during a preview first run, the actors seemed to be on top of their game.

You'll walk through a collection of the worst of the worst evil humanity has ever spawned, confront them and get the chills you paid for.

Forehead Blood, the Killers and Audience Participation
(LIMITED SPOILERS AHEAD!)

There is a serial killer gallery and bar before you enter so you can calm your nerves down by looking at historical art and memorabilia. Look at the faces of these killers to get an idea of who you may encounter.  The "FBI" will document your activities and you should interact with them and let them know you don't have any Dexter like tendencies.

The big change that Nightmare implements this year is they are giving you a choice in whether or not you wish to be touched by the actors (though in a limited fashion). Before going in, patrons who wished to participate have fake blood dabbled onto their forehead. This indicates to the "Killers" you are a willing participant. I of course said yes and it was well worth it. If you decide to go, definitely take this opportunity to fully get the immersive experience.

Patrons will go in within groups of 6. Once in, it's a medium burn of thrills. You'll start off slow but the the rooms do get more edgy as you go along. Here you will encounter the lives of the most infamous serial killers; Jeffrey Dahmer, Ed Gein, Ted Bundy and some other modern day killers. Each room has a story to tell, like a live action vignette where you get to hear the thoughts of what made these men infamous. Once you hear their tales, it's time to be put into their world and live a few moments of terror from that victim POV.

The room are methodically designed and I urge you to take your time and not scamper from room to room. Let me repeat that. WALK FUCKING SLOW. Look at the props, the sets and the walls. It's all part of the show aside from the actors. Spread out across the room and take it all in. You know the scares are coming but it won't have the same effect if you don't listen to the dialogue and interact.  The best elements of doing this come into play as you meet Ed Gein, go to death row and meet a most perverse clown. I also urge you to take it slow towards the end when a certain screaming girl named Lizzy shows up. You'll miss one of the best special effects I've seen in a HH in a while.

Also what was very surprising is that you'll end up outside where you'll encounter a very well known albeit fictional serial killer. I have to say this was the best room of the haunt aside from the last one.

 


There were a few rooms that I thought could have been worked out better. These include the Zodiac, Jack's bloody alleyway and a bathory. I guess these were designed for some lull before the storm moments but I'd have preferred to get the scare-o-meter into the red when you're knee deep within the house. Also, as I mentioned before it is indeed short in terms of time. It could take you 30 minutes if you do as I say and go slow but 20-25 minutes or less if you're speed walking through it. But we'll go with quality of time rather than quantity here.

Nightmare Killers is by far their best version yet. Creator and director Tim Haskell, Producer Steve Kopelman and Director Joe Haralacher have assembled a crew and actors who have taken Nightmare to the next level.  If last year's version had you second guessing Nightmare, this is the edition you need to go to to see if they've gotten their mojo back.

In a sense, this is a traditional haunted house with all scares locked in a box waiting for you to open it up. However, it's nontraditional in that you're spending time with the most wretched and depraved real life human monsters to have ever walked our country. Nightmare reproduces a way to spend some time with these sickos. The fact that we want to says a lot about ourselves. Right?

The Vitals

• Official Site
• Like on Facebook
• Follow in Twitter
• Check out Tim Haskell's blog I Scare You!
• Click here to buy Tickets
• Killers: A Nightmare Haunted House is located at Clemente Soto Velez Cultural and Educational Center (CSV) located at 107 Suffolk Street (between Rivington and Delancey)

 Check out the trailer.

Categories: haunted house, killers, new york city, nightmare fairy tales, nightmare haunted house, nightmare superstitions, nightmare vampires, nyc halloween haunted house, nyc haunted house, serial killer movie

I Saw the Devil (Review)

I Saw the Devil

I Saw the Devil (Akmareul boatda) (2011)

Directed by Jee-woon Kim

"I will kill you when you are in the most pain. When you're in the most pain, shivering out of fear, then I will kill you. That's a real revenge. A real complete revenge."

-Soo-hyun

It wouldn't be the same if Korea didn't release an awesome revenge flick this year. But surprisingly they released 2 stellar revenge movies with Bedevilled being the other. I Saw the Devil is on lots and lots of Best of 2011 lists and deservedly so. It's a top notch, blood soaked crime thriller that echoes the pantheon of awesome Korean revenge but takes a step into a whole new frontier. You're not just given a rinse and repeat formula, oh no. In this dark and dreary tale, Jee-woon Kim serves up a curveball that will befuddle all your senses, pull your emotions and have your jaw completely on the floor.

What separates I Saw the Devil from its American counterparts is a sense of humanity that gets loss at our most vulnerable. The white knight becomes dark. And the level of grey is maximized to give the audience a decision to evaluate who is exactly the "devil" in this film.

I haven't questioned my loyalties in a while but I Saw the Devil is like a personality test for all those involved. Revenge is a dish best served on a heaping pile of decapitated heads and blood splattered walls and floors. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

I SAW THE DEVIL is a shockingly violent and stunningly accomplished tale of murder and revenge. The embodiment of pure evil, Kyung-chul is a dangerous psychopath who kills for pleasure. On a freezing, snowy night, his latest victim is the beautiful Juyeon, daughter of a retired police chief and pregnant fiancée of elite special agent Soo-hyun. Obsessed with revenge, Soo-hyun is determined to track down the murderer, even if doing so means becoming a monster himself. And when he finds Kyung-chul, turning him in to the authorities is the last thing on his mind, as the lines between good and evil fall away in this diabolically twisted game of cat and mouse.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Simple premise really. Fiancee of special agent Soo-hyun is killed by a most depraved serial killer Kyung-chul, who makes Hannibal Lecter look like Mickey fuckin Mouse. In his quest for revenge, Soo-hyun methodically tracks down the scum of Seoul until he finally meets our fucked up Dexter. But death would be too quick for Kyung-chul so Soo-hyun decides to turn the tables as the cat is now the mouse. It's this twist that breaks the mold. It's executed brilliantly and the path these two leave are dead bodies, scarred victims, confused cops and massive beatings not seen since Oldboy.

The type of revenge Soo-hyun implements is almost as methodical as a serial killer. It's calculated, it's wicked and it's fucked up beyond what I can describe. But clearly this Korean revenge film could have delved into mucho sadness but during the cat and mouse scenes, it echoes a Tom and Jerry vibe. The violence is insanely sadistic but in almost over the top cartooney way. We get head bashing, bag suffocation, Achilles heel trauma, random pipe beatings and mouth trauma. Really in all this mayhem, I found myself chuckling at the ACME level smashes to the sternum.

But what drives I Saw the Devil is clearly it's two main pro/ant-gonists.

Let's start off with Kyung-chul (Min-sik Choi). He is a serial killer who has no morality whatsoever. We see him hunt women and kill them without any remorse. Choi is absolutely brilliant displaying a performance that shows a man who in this midst of survival and second chances remains as evil as can be. True evil killers, similar to a Category III HK flick villain are what Kyung-chul embodies. He is a wolf and clearly he sees all people as his sheep. Even though he is bruised, battered and rundown, he still unleashes his teeth. It's unbelievable. Instinct would tell you that once you got the shit beaten out of you, you'd give up. But it's Kyung-chul's perseverance that is a trait that no other serial killer on screen has ever shown.

With Soo-hyun, he slowly devolves, losing his humanity in his quest for vengeance. Like Ahab in Moby Dick, all he cares about is slaying the White Whale that crippled him. His fiancee's death, she was the daughter of a former police chief, has driven him into madness and Byung-hun Lee plays him with a calm robotic quality. All his anger and sadness are buried deep and in the film's final act does it unleash into a wicked but clever way. Great performances by these actors.

I Saw the Devil is stylish, punch in the gut of what revenge cinema can do to you. Your emotions sway and the basic instinct to give "an eye for an eye" are something we all have thought about. Like it's well known predecessor Oldboy, it has a twist and a rawness we Western audiences hardly see in are Hollywood CGI blockbusters. It's why the Dark Knight seemed to work for us when it gave us the same dilemma.

Let's make sure that I Saw the Devil gets the accolades it deserves. It's a bloody, gore splatterific opera of revenge cinema at it's sharpest. A movie that leaves you thinking of what YOU would do if faced with the same situation. If you had superhero, CIA-tech and awesome fight skills like Soo-hyun, would you do the same? Are we all capable of being evil when we believe it's justified?

Who exactly is the devil in the film? Maybe it's actually all of us idly applauding this masterful and brilliant film of 2011.

Nude-ipedia

Victim boobies are creepy to look at

Gore-ipedia

So much gore and splatter if you blinked, you'd miss a decap

WTF moment

Our killer makes a discovery in the bathroom
The ending

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

See this bad boy ASAP. It's out on Blu-Ray and DVD released via Magnet Releasing. I still have chills thinking about that ending. Fuckin brutal.

The Vitals

• The official site

Rating:

Check out the trailer.

Categories: 2011 horror movies, Akmareul boatda, crime thriller, first splatter movie, gore, indie horror, korean horror, oldboy, Revenge movie, serial killer movie

My Name is A by Anonymous (Review)

My Name is A By Anonymous

My Name is A By Anonymous (2011)

Directed by Boneshin (aka Shane Ryan)

Anonymous aka Boneshin is clearly not that anonymous. My Name is A is directed by Shane Ryan, who clearly is a fringe filmmaker who's helmed the infamous Amateur Pornstar Killer series as well as Warning!!!! Pedophile Released. Having not seen the latter which I hear is actually pretty good, I'm left to judge his merit on APK and this film.

My Name is A (formerly a short called The Columbine Effect) is clearly in that genre of fictional recreations where a real life tragedy is turned into a film but shaded with arthouse flair. The film is a recreation of the life and times of alleged murderer Alyssa Bustamante who at the age of 15 killed Elizabeth Olten, who was only 9 years old. I had not heard of this crime and it's clearly something TruTV would focus on. Oh wait they did.

The film plays out the real as real life. You can read the entire notorious murder by heading here. We meet Alyssa, a gothy teen, who paints her face Joker style and has a taste of the killing. She's accompanied by "the sidekick" who follows her orders to a tee. In parallel we also meet "the performer" who is trying to find her direction in voice and art. Finally, we meet "the angst" who's abuse from her stepfather has her vomiting into jars.

Told in a shaky cam 3rd person blended with Flip/phone cams, it's got a docu-teen feel to it. Everything is overlayed with a music video quality and the dialogue is pure vulgar spewage. But whatever Ryan was trying to do here is lost on me. Movies like The Zero Effect and Van Sant's Elephant that recreated Columbine did so by not judging the killers, only following them on that day's events. After such a tragedy, nobody ever has a clear understanding why.

In My Name is A, Ryan clearly wants us to see Alyssa's madness manifest themselves in visual characters of performer, angst, sidekick, etc. Why did she kill this little girl? Was it the culmination of sexual abuse with teenage angst, being a rebel and trying to be "famous"? Clearly, we are led to believe this is the case. Why is never important when creating a fictional version of a real life tragedy. One has to judge on it with uncertainty...it's the only thing that's certain when it comes to motive.

The film itself is a miragy mix of Harmony Korine's early stuff and it's just plain boring. Add in the visual nausea and the meanderings of dialogue (and bad acting) it's a milkshake of nonsense. Every scene seems picked from the true story such as the Joker makeup, the kid brother, the electric fence playground and the actual way the victim dies. Even her look (see the link above) is mimicked in unison. However, I didn't see a what felt like 10 minute music video dream sequence coming. No idea what that was about.

There have been movies like this before. The Sylvia Likens case comes to mind and I watched 2 films based on that. An American Crime (starring Ellen Page) and The Girl Next Door. Both handled the real life horrific murder solidly and elegantly. Even Elephant was oddly mesmerizing.

Unfortunately My Name is A by Anonymous clearly wants to give us innocence lost (a killer and a victim) theme, but none of that really stood out. Instead, Shane Ryan tricked me with a cool title and made me watch a film with untapped potential that had me asking him....why??

Nude-ipedia

Umm I try to not think of what I saw as nudity... ::shivers::

Gore-ipedia

A bit of blood

WTF moment

Where did this Russian music video come from?

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

My Name is A by Anonymous comes from Mad Sin Cinema. Here's some info on the vitals. My Name is A by anonymous (formerly known as The Columbine Effect) stars Russian pop star Teona Dolnikova, Demi Baumann – the younger sister of actor Ken Baumann from The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Sean Cain. With newcomers Katie Marsh, Kaliya Skye, Joseph Marsh and Alex Damiano. Produced by Alisha Rayne, Cinematography by Arturo Guerrero.

Rating:


Check out the trailer.

Categories: 2011 horror movies, Amateur Porn Star Killer, Amateur Porn Star Killer 2, faux documentary, indie film, indie horror, psycho killer, serial killer movie, shane ryan

The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) (Insano Steve Review)

[this review brought to you by Insano Steve, who after a long hiatus was forced at gunpoint to write his thoughts after seeing Tox Six's The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence]

Rather than give a full review of Human Centipede 2, I thought I'd go through some things that I liked about the movie, and some that I didn't. In honor of the centipede, I broke it down into 10 good and 10 bad things.

Good

1. The gore and special effects are excellent. Much more so than the original.
2. The killer is a fat slob, who is mute, asthmatic, and retarded. Unconventional!
3. The shameless flashbacks to the first part were (un) intentionally hilarious.
4. A character from the first part miraculously returns!
5. More feces than you will ever see, or would want to see.
6. Lacking medical knowledge, our new "doctor" uses household tools.
7. Watching a lady, who didn't know better, leave the theater in disgust.
8. An actual centipede attacks and maims an old woman. Symbolism!
9. Gratuitous prenatal infant trauma. And postnatal trauma.
10. The use of laxatives as a plot catalyst!
    

Bad

1. The whole movie is in black and white. It mutes the effect of the blood/guts.
2. There's no actual plot. No attempt to explain. No attempt to attempt.
3. Like 10 scenes of the fat slob using an inhaler. He has asthma. OK, we get it.
4. Seeing the fat slob wearing a thong walk around the house. Not good times.
5. Sorry, but seeing a room drenched in blood and feces needs to be in color!
6. The acting was horrible. Even when you consider the low expectations.
7. A little shit eating really goes a long way.
8. I'm starting to think that maybe this isn't all "100% medically accurate".
9. All of the boring non-centipede related murders.
10. Black and white might've been an attempt at art. This shit ain't art. This shit is shit.
    

And there you have it, a movie that delivers all the over the top decadence you hoped for. And literally nothing more than that. Grading on a curve....

Rating:
1/2

Here are more photos via UGO.com

Categories: 2011 horror movies, gore, indie horror, serial killer movie, splatter, splatter gore, the human centipede, the human centipede photos, the human centipede trailer, tom six, underground splatter

The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) (Review)

The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)

The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)

Directed by Tom Six

Sometimes your poop comes in pellet form, other times you need to set up a level 10 quarantine. It's these rather crude analogies that I've conjured up that equate themselves to the original and sequel for The Human Centipede . After eating a burrito, sometimes you fear the worst and sometimes that trip to the bathroom turns out not as bad as you thought it would be. That's what I thought of Tom Six's original.

The Human Centipede 2 is not a good film by any means but its like a newborn's dirty diaper....you get a hell of a surprise. Devoid of any decent plot, a psychopath that is a couple of deadly sins incarnate (think sloth) and 100% medically inaccurate, its a film that is a big "FUCK YOU" by Tom Six for anybody who claimed the original didn't go over the edge. I wrote in my original review: "I'd like to have seen it go over the edge and go into the realm of uncharted super duper uber fuckedupness"

Well Tom Six does exactly that. He should have taken elements from the original and mix in the fuckedupness in this film. But instead he goes waaaaay over the top in an artsy fartsy black and white splatter film and chooses to not give one single fuck about characters, plot and an antagonist we can fear or even be remotely memorable.

Sure the Human Centipede 2 makes 2 Girls, 1 Cup look like a Disney film, but at what cost?

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Martin is a mentally disturbed loner who lives with his mother in a bleak housing project. He works the night shift as a security guard in an equally grim and foreboding underground parking complex. To escape his dreary existence, Martin loses himself in the fantasy world of the cult horror film The Human Centipede (First Sequence), fetishizing the meticulous surgical skills of the gifted Dr. Heiter, whose knowledge of the human gastrointestinal system inspires Martin to attempt the unthinkable.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

The beauty of the original was the ridiculousness of Dr. Heiter and his obsessiveness to create a human centipede. Dieter Laser's performance was incredible and his "Feed her!" line will be uttered by horror fans for years to come. But our main sociopath, a mute and obese Brit named Martin is such a disappointment, one can only think that this is what Tom Six thinks of the hardcore horror fan. This fat penguin man, who is obsessed with Six's original film decides to go and make a 12 man centipede where the lovely Ashlynn Yennie will form the head (she's like the black Lion in this fucked up Voltron).

Working at a parking garage, his victims come in all forms from happily married couple, drunk party girls, a pregnant woman, random hooligans and a few other unfortunates that Martin encounters. He's a victim of sexual abuse via his father and his mom begs to have their angry neighbor "kill them both". The family doctor is as degenerate as Martin and makes an appearance as a ro-beast.

The movie is as predictable as your run of the mill slasher. Martin watches the original, jerks off, feeds his pet centipede (yes you read that right he has a pet centipede) stalks his victims and kills. Lather, rinse and repeat. It's the same old shit for like an hour. Six decides this meta-verse is him being crazy fuckin clever (he's not). That's not to say our mute Martin doesn't make a few intentional ha ha's. His excited cheering during the "feed her!" scene as he rewatches the classic and a few phone calls from a casting agent give us winks to the audience's knowledge of part 1. Martin is a walking grotesque, a child with a loaded gun that enjoys inflicting harm for his obsession. He's his own Dr. Frankenstein and squeals with glee as he shapes his very own human centipede but the only thing WE the audience care about is seeing his creation.

And that's why you have to watch an hour of this film to see it. And it's like seeing a Rorschach test made of human feces. Your only reason for sitting through this film is to see the fuckin full sequence. 3 was not enough for us. We want 6...no we want 9...how about 12!

Where the original had Dr. Heiter use a clean sterile environment and had medical precision for his experiment, Martin uses a dirty, filthy abandoned warehouse complete with rusty tools for his operation. And here comes the Gore-ipedia. Sliced knee tendons, really bad dental surgery, tongue trauma, staple gun frenzy and a lot of duck tape. The splatter and gore are at its peak and they are making gorehounds rejoice. It's not until we get to Martin's own "Feed her!" scene do we get to fuckedupness levels of fuckedupness. It's LITERALLY shit in motion. Even Martin's comeuppance at the end is a level of the surreal and definitely 100% medically IN-accurate.

The Human Centipede 2 is a competitive horror viewing contest. The original was easy to stomach, participants easily digested everything they took in. But HC2 is seeing a dude eat beyond his capacity and then vomit it all up. Do you really want to see that shit?

I'm not buying into any theory that HC2 has some underlying meaning in it. I firmly believe Tom Six was responding to all of us who LOVED the original or HATED it but both sides agreed it didn't go over the line of what it was advertised to be. But this time he delivers a disgusting, gore soaked and diarrhea of a film that has none of the awesomeness of what made the original so memorable.

All that's left to do after watching The Human Centipede 2 is to flush the toilet.

Nude-ipedia

A few boobs and ass via our victims
Martin's shirtless obesity made me throw up in my mouth a little

Gore-ipedia

See above labeled Gore-ipedia

WTF moment

Martin's comeuppance

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

I'm giving HC2 2 spinkicks. It's not a good movie like I said but it's got scenes that I'll admit leave a damn fucked up imprint in your mind. I did laugh a few times because of the ridiculousness of it all but those LOLs were few and far in between. I had HC2 as the #1 Remaining Best of the Rest Horror Movies of 2011. What can I say? I got caught up in the hype.

The Human Centipede 2 is being distributed by IFC Films and will get a theatrical release on October 7th.

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Categories: 2011 horror movies, gore, indie horror, serial killer movie, splatter, splatter gore, the human centipede, the human centipede photos, the human centipede trailer, tom six, underground splatter

The Anniversary at Shallow Creek (Review)

The Anniversary at Shallow Creek

The Anniversary at Shallow Creek (2010)

Directed by Jon D. Wagner

[screener provided by Breaking Glass Pictures]

"I did not go on vacation to die"

-One of the characters who dies in The Anniversary at Shallow Creek

Sigh.

If the Dharma Initiative dropped horror movies on the Island, this one would be labeled "GENERIC HORROR MOVIE". It's pretty clear from the beginning to the end of The Anniversary at Shallow Creek that we're going to be accosted by horror cliche after horror cliche. And it's a relentless onslaught of cliches. And these aren't BB gun bullets, their armor piercing cliches that are the size of watermelons.

You might be asking what kind of cliches could go through the jaded viewer's bullet proof jadedness? Let's start with the poster's "inspired by true events". C'mon, this plot is to ridiculous to be real. Add in stereotypical cardboard cutout oversexed white kids, a trip to a cabin in the woods (or the desert?) and a masked sniper killer and it's cliche land, where all your horror cliches come true.

Shallow Creek recycles old horror plots, adds a supposed twist and is so predictable you'd start believing your psychic. I tweeted to fellow horror blogger Michael Allen of 28 Days Later Analysis that I was viewing this film (he had already reviewed it) and I guessed the killer 15 minutes in. He totally confirmed my suspicions. It's shit like this that offends us horror bloggers. We're to smart for a film like this and for an uneducated horror viewer, they're bound to probably think it's the next Scream.

Suffice it to say, only a movie like this would make me wish for the lone pseudo innocent kid to die.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

When Sam and Paige decide to escape the stress of medical school for a romantic getaway in the mountains outside L.A., their four best friends end up tagging along and turning it into a weekend of partying. Little does the group know that their beautiful lodge has a dark history: exactly one year before, the house was the scene of a grisly double murder - and the killer was never caught. Now, as night falls and the group drinks beer by the bonfire, a predator hides in the darkness, watching them all through the crosshairs of a sniper rifle. In an instant, the friends' night of partying turns into a bloody fight for survival.

The Anniversary at Shallow Creek is a slick homage to horror classics and a clever update of the genre that never leads where the audience suspects. As the kill count rises, the remaining friends find themselves to be pawns in a horrifying game - one that promises to test their survival skills and the strength of their relationships.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

For this review, I'm going to quiz you on what you would do when faced with an actual horror cliche from this movie. Your job is to pick what the MAIN CHARACTERS chose to do.

Got it? Let's get it on!

1.) You've got to study for your final medical exams, but your girlfriend wants to get freaky at your secluded uncle's cabin in the woods. What do you do?

A.) Invite all your douchebag friends to the your secluded uncle's cabin in the woods
B.) Fuck the cabin, get freaky with your GF in your apartment
C.) Study for your exams ensuring yourself a career and long life
D.) Play Modern Warfare on your XBox 360

The answer is A. The clear cut cabin in the woods formulaic cliche gets this film started. Turns out the locals seem fucked up as well. Did anybody not see Deliverance?

2.) You've heard over the TV that 2 teens got murdered in this neck of the woods a year ago today. At the cabin you meet the suspicious overly friendly neighbor. You're horror spider sense is tingling. What do you do?

A.) Party on!
B.) Head back to civilization
C.) Party on by dropping roofies in the girls drinks
D.) My spider sense is probably on the fritz

The answer is A. Remember, these horny college white kids have a limited brain capacity. Sex and beer (and this is for both males and females). There is actually no depth to these characters. I mean I actually don't remember any of their names. I think their was a blonde, a brunette, a dorky kid. The one redeeming quality is the girls got softcore. I mean no nudity at all in this flick. Just some bra and panties PG-13 crap.

3.) A 11 year old kid shows up and wants to hang with you awesome bro's. Do you....

A.) Let the kid hang out with you, shoot a BB gun and join in on party
B.) Tell the kid to go home
C.) Tell the kid to go the fuck home
D.) Tell the kid to go the fuck home because you plan on getting your freak on

The answer is A. Why is their a fuckin kid dying to hang out with you douchebags? Isn't that all suspicious?

4.) You're sitting at a campfire drinking beer and toasting marshmallows and your friend gets his head blown off by a sniper. Do you....

A.) Head inside, lock the doors and find a cell phone
B.) Make a break to the car and high tail your way out of Dodge
C.) Start freaking out and take cover
D.) See B.

The answer is A. The movie started resembling Kill Theory (which I liked) and its all about survival. Where that film started pitting the characters against each other (plausible) everybody in this film wants to help each other survive (totally not plausible). When faced with a life and death situation, people think about themselves. That's what people do. And it actually makes for a solid horror theme.

5.) The killer is taunting the remaining survivors by strewing the bodies of victims throughout the house. Do you....

A.) Go to an isolated part of the house and lock yourself in
B.) Use the darkness as cover to make a grand escape
C.) Find a weapon to defend yourself
D.) Make a grand stand against your attackers

The answer is A. I have no idea why'd they do this. It's so fuckin stupid.

6.) You're a girl tied up and told to make a decision. Kill your brother or your boyfriend. What do you do?

A.) Kill your brother
B.) Kill your boyfriend
C.) Kill yourself
D.) Once they untie you, reach for the scalpel they gave you and try to stab the killer with it.

I'm not going to give you the answer on this one but here's a hint. She should have totally went with D but she didn't.

Did you get everything right? No? Then you may need to watch more horror films. There is some sort of twist but I'll be damned if it makes any sense. It has something to do with an anniversary. The ending is drawn out as it tries to prove to the viewer how clever the writers were when they made this bullshit up.

The Anniversary at Shallow Creek is full of countless cliches, ranging from 1st person camera creeping in shots to loud BA BOOM! sounds to get you to jump. It didn't have a mirror scare but get this, no cell coverage is replaced with the fact they couldn't even find their cell phones! The acting is atrocious as is the odd montage scenes bridging the last acts together.

It's a muddled mess of nonsense where motive is clearly ambiguous. The double whammy ending made me mad and I almost punched my TV. If they did a double feature of this film and Drew Goddard/Joss Whedon Cabin in the Woods (which hasn't been released yet) you would probably get to see what they were going to make fun of in terms of cliches.

Dammit, when is that film coming out?

Avoid this movie and search out other newly released films from Breaking Glass Pictures. As 28DLA suggested, go with Dawning which was a solid flick.

Gore-ipedia

Blown up cranium
Slice and dice
Neck trauma
Gunshot splatter

Nude-ipedia

There's more nudity in a copy of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue than in this film

WTF moment

The ending after the ending

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

It's a generic horror movie. You'll have more fun watching your screen saver than this film.

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Rating:
1/2 a


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Categories: 2011 horror movies, breaking glass pictures, indepentent horror, indie horror, serial killer movie, slasher films, true story horror

Cropsey (Review)

I'm not going with a long review on Cropsey. I just want to share a few thoughts after watching the film. This documentary by Barbara Brancaccio and Joshua Zeman is a fascinating look into a NYC urban legend I never knew about. Staten Island is usually the lost borough and I've only visited a few times. But to watch the reality of this so called urban legend was clearly fascinating.

Here be the plot:

Realizing the urban legend of their youth has actually come true; two filmmakers delve into the mystery surrounding five missing children and the real-life boogeyman linked to their disappearances.

The documentary sheds good light about the legend of Cropsey as we view the filmmakers touring the old mental institution located in central Staten Island. The real life accused killer is Andre Rand who is serving an existing prison sentence. They do a range of interviews of the families of the kidnapped children, police and known associates of Rand.

The most shocking scene has to be the Geraldo Rivera footage as he exposes the atrocities at Willowbrook mental institute. Just depressing footage of abused handicapped kids. But overall, as they dig deeper into whether or not Rand committed these crimes, I was intrigued to watch NYC history come to life.

If you like those Dateline NBC or 20/20 mystery shows where they detail a brutal crime and the follow up trial, I'd recommend Cropsey to get your fix. It's a sad tale that is equally bizarre and utterly fascinating.


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Categories: documentary, faux documentary, independent cinema, indepentent horror, indie film, indie horror, new york city, serial killer movie

The Poughkeepsie Tapes (Review)

The Poughkeepsie Tapes

The Poughkeepsie Tapes (2007)

Directed by John Erick Dowdle

Before John Erick Dowdle made Devil and Quarantine, he made a found footage serial killer film that was on my radar for a helluva long time. This was the #2 movie I wanted to see in 2008.

Think about the fact that in 2008, the found footage flick boom wasn't in full effect. These days we're use to seeing shaky cam/1st POV when it comes to zombies, ghosts, demons, aliens, and monsters. But initially, the shaky cam was all about the serial killer.

August Underground comes to mind as the one flick that made camcorder killer footage look real. But now after viewing The Poughkeepsie Tapes, which blends a mockumentary with found footage, I'll say it was ahead of its time...in 2008. As of this review, it had a limited festival running and no DVD release. A movie that may have revolutionized both subgenres of mock and found hasn't been seen by anybody.

That's unfortunate.

The Poughkeepsie Tapes is like a nostalgic look at the beginnings of how the found footage mock subgenre came to be. It has the feel of Toe Tag Pictures's cult film but by adding the documentary aspect which resembles an Unsolved Mysteries ripoff, it reinvents itself into something new. It's this effectiveness of getting back to the roots of this horror genre that I liked. But it isn't without it's flaws. Both the documentary and the real like "snuff" film somehow lose steam midway through the movie. Genuine turns into laughability at times and you feel like they we're adding things to spice things up.

All in all, The Poughkeepsie Tapes is Dowdle's grand attempt to cash in on the mockumentary and found footage craze at the same time. I think if I had seen this in 2008 I would have called it "revolutionary" and "creepy scary". But in 2011, I'll say it is revolutionary and creepy scary but I'll add in one more thing. "Cheaply dated".

Boring Plot-O-Matic

When hundreds of videotapes showing torture, murder and dismemberment are found in an abandoned house, they reveal a serial killer's decade-long reign of terror and become the most disturbing collection of evidence homicide detectives have ever seen.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Like I said, in 2008 I may have been blown away by The Poughkeepsie Tapes but in 2011, just 3 years later I've actually seen better mockumentaries that blend found footage. The one that comes to mind is Lake Mungo. It's the best I've seen in quite a long time. So I'm going to break down the review by dividing the mock and found. First up the mock.

The Mockumentary

I'm not lying when it comes to the Unsolved Mysteries meets Sightings quality. Blending in interviews from police officers, police commanders, FBI profilers, news footage and family victims it compiles different perspectives about the "The Water Street Butcher". Some of the interviews feel genuinely convincing especially with the victim's families others such as a former FBI profiler are desperately in need of acting lessons. In an interview with an FBI agent, she praises the killer for his ingenuity and knowledge of county bureaucracy. It's interesting to hear their take but in no way would the FBI admit they've been duped.

The Footage

I'll admit, the footage is damn creepy. It has that authentic late 80s early 90s VHS quality to it with the blending colors and grainy footage. At times, the footage is unwatchable but the "realness" has a definite impact. The footage is clearly shocking and disturbing. We can see the killer stalk his victims, most being women and *gasp* children. We hear him talk and you get the feeling he's one of those people a neighbor may say "He didn't seem like the serial killer type".

So what kind of footage do we get to see intertwined with the mock? An odd balloon fetish, a few stalking and murders, a "broke car" trap which leads to a couple's murder, a little girl's demise, and the creme de la creme, a kidnapping of a victim Cheryl Dempsey. Also added the torture of Cheryl and footage of him disemboweling and dismembering his victims.

After that footage, the documentary interviews a "dismemberment expert" which is hilarious. What does it take to be a dismemberment expert? Did he go to dismemberment school? Sigh. But I digress.

Later our killer changes his MO and starts murdering prostitutes to cover his tracks. Cheryl now brainwashed by the killer who calls him "Master" to her "slave" is forced to slice a street walker's throat to save her own life. She's been mentally and physically degraded forced to wear a mask and a medieval type dress.

Our killer is also in the footage at times but obscured as he wears a mask. At one point he taunts the mother by going right up to her and offering his "help" to finding Cheryl, taping the entire "taunt" on tape.

The Foundumentary

The movie cuts from footage to doc but devotes most of its time to the footage. I found the footage to be the most convincing in it's cleverness. That's not to say both become a little laughable at times. From the unconvincing interviews with law enforcement to the over the top acting of our killer, it felt like we had gone from seeing a "real" footage to having our killer be more creative, cruel and bizarre just so we wouldn't all get bored. The killer's acting of master/slave is clearly corny and contrived as is all his clever traps. At one point, he let's in two Girl Scouts in and asks them questions. It's an uneasy feeling to see children in the same room as this man and I have to admit, I felt kinda scared of where this scene would go.

But soon after, we see a nice clear "moviemaking" shot of our victim reflected in a mirror tied and bound. It's some of these techniques and the "dungeon" basement set that made the movie go from gritty real to gritty fake.

There's a bit of a twist in the film regarding a suspect and his eventual demise that gets you caught off guard but at this point, I was taking anything I saw with a grain of salt. A final interview with Cheryl also packs a punch and I'll admit was sad and mesmerizing at the same time.

The Poughkeepsie Tapes is clearly a tale of two halves. The documentary and footage aspects make it feel real and intriguing during the first half of the film. But the second half, both aspects lose steam and you start to feel like they had to add lots of gimmicks to keep you interested. I'm not saying the gimmicks weren't a solid WTF, but they were highly outrageous and kind of unbelievable.

The performances all are clearly respectable aside from a few of the roles I mentioned. The killer is vicious and it shows. His resume is sickly depraved. Rapist, butcher, savage killer and he even goes child-acide. He mentally scars a victim and uses the criminal justice system to kill as well. But we never even get a motivation or reason of why he does it. Not from himself or the police or FBI. Sure we get a profile (which is a mocking of profiling in a edited montage as the FBI has no clue what this man may look like or why he kills) and thus we're left with not knowing. This is a serious no no in serial killer movies. You have to give some sort of reason as to why the killer does what he does. Sure in real life we sometimes have no idea why, but in movies it SHOULD be in there.

The subgenre of found footage has moved away from it's roots of late. Found footage use to be reserved for the tales of pseudo snuff films, lost teens in Maryland or cannibals run amok. These days, shaky cams and HD video cameras record ghosts, monsters and zombies. Hell we're going to get aliens on cam in Super 8.

The Poughkeepsie Tapes is serial killer found footage horror with a hardcore edge. It's not the best the genre has to offer but it's creepy scary in that "my neighbor might be evil" sorta way. The mock and found offered by The Poughkeepsie Tapes is an alternative to your now pre-packaged found footage film. That should at least warrant a viewing.

Gore-ipedia

Some grainy dismembering

Nude-ipedia

Corpse nudity..does that count?

WTF moment

Balloon fetish?!?
Kids in danger
Give a hand to Cheryl

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

The movie is on the Internet if you wish to see it. You just have to know where to look. Ahem Ahem. MGM owns the rights but even after the success of other found footage flicks, they have yet to do so.

I'd say give it a chance if you like the mock and found genre of horror. It deserves at least a viewing if you want to see early found footage/mockumentary films.

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Rating:
1/2

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Categories: cinema verite, found footage, pov horror, pseudo snuff, serial killer movie, snuff film, the poughkeepsie tapes