The WTF List: Zombieland

Good ole America. We're back to take what's rightfully ours. I guy from Pittsburgh created the zombie film so it's fitting we take back the zombie comedy. Hey, Shaun of the Dead, you had your time at the top, but Zombieland shotgunned you out of the way and blew a hole right in your face.

Ruben Fleischer's Zombieland, written by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick have created the new standard in zombie comedy. You get the feel they took all the zombie culture references (Max Brook's The Zombie Survival Guide being most evident and every other zombie comedy and blended it into a cohesive, yummy tasting awesome comedy.

Woody H., Jesse E, Emma S and Abigail B are all working a nice solid with their performances. Just dead on with Woody as the redneck papa, Jesse playing his Adventureland role in a post apocalyptic way and Emma being the hottie with the scams and Abigail taking her tween acting into overdrive.

OK, enough of the gushing and spewing of love by me. It's just going to get messy. On to the WTF list. SPOILERS OHOY!

1.) The opening slo mo sequence is credit breaking-tastic
2.) Cardio
3.) Double Tap
4.) 406 may be the hottest zombie to appear ever
5.) Columbus, Tallahassee, Wichita and Little Rock (now thats what I call memorable movie character names)
6.) Enjoy the Little Things
7.) The ring con
8.) Twinkies have a half life...I'm sure of it.
9.) Fast moving zombies are only awesome when there in slo mo
10.) The logical conclusion of fat zombies
11.) "You gotta love rednecks!"
12.) Who you gonna call?
13.) I did not know B.M. was in this. So when Zombie Bill showed up I almost laughed out loud my vocal cords
14.) "We're gonna build a fort" (I just liked that line)
15.) Tallahassee goes John Wayne on the amusement park zombies
16.) No more Facebooking status updates ever in Zombieland
17.) Columbus's Diablo Cody self aware dialogue
18.) Bill and Columbus reenact a scene from Ghostbusters with Wichita doing to Janine voice
19.) The end credits have one final scene with Bill and Woody
20.) Bill's demise and Garfield reference

21.) Zombie Kill of the Week!

Here are some of the 47 rules to survive Zombieland

1.) Cardio
2.) Beware of Bathrooms
3.) Seatbelts
4.) Double Tap
5.) Travel Light
6.) Cast Iron Skillet
12.) Bounty Paper Towels
15.) Bowling Ball
17.) Don't be a hero
29.) The Buddy System
31.) Check the backseat
32.) Enjoy the little things
33.) Swiss Army Knife

All the videos to the rules can be found here.

Megagasmic awesome flick thru and thru. The fact they didn't let up with the gore and splatter is a testament to the fact that they know Wiki about zombie movies. It hit on all the right notes, was self aware of what it was parodying but then made it its own.

Zombieland is probably going to be my #1 comedy (not just zombie comedy) of 2009. With this rush of vampire flicks infiltrating TV and movies, the zombie horror comedy movie may be on the decline. But Tallahassee isn't hearing that shit.

Go see Zombieland.

Categories: emma stone, horror comedy, jesse eisenberg, shawn of the dead, woody harrelson, zombie comedy, zombieland, zombies

Zombieland (Exclusive "Rules" Clips)

Well I may not be the biggest proponent of the horror comedy big budget productions coming from Hollywood, but I'll admit Zombieland looks damn funny. It may be the USA's answer to Shawn of the Dead.

Starring Woody Harrelson and Jesse Eisenberg and a list of up and coming Hollywood hotties (Emma Stone and Amber Heard) and directed by Ruben Fleischer, it seems zombies aren't deader as dead yet after the vampire boom.

Here be the plot. (from the IMDB plot database)

In the horror comedy Zombieland focuses on two men who have found a way to survive a world overrun by zombies. Columbus is a big wuss -- but when you're afraid of being eaten by zombies, fear can keep you alive. Tallahassee is an AK-toting, zombie-slaying' bad ass whose single determination is to get the last Twinkie on earth. As they join forces with Wichita and Little Rock, who have also found unique ways to survive the zombie mayhem, they will have to determine which is worse: relying on each other or succumbing to the zombies.

Here be the trailer.





UGO.com has posted exclusive clips of some new videos starring Woody and Jesse answering viewer mail and discussing "rules" of what you need to survive a zombie onslaught. These include different weapons you may need (skillet, swiss army knife, bowling balls, etc.) And what do paper towels and the buddy system have to do with anything?!?

Find out by checking out all the viral vids. Check out all the exclusive Zombieland videos by going here.

Zombieland will be released on October 9, 2009.

Categories: amber heard, american zombie, emma stone, horror comedy, jesse eisenberg, shawn of the dead, woody harrelson, zombie comedy, zombieland, zombies

The Cottage (Review)

The Cottage

The Cottage (2008)

Directed by Paul Andrew Williams

The dry sense of humor the Brits have can either be considered bloody unfunny or bloody fuckin brillant.

I'm a big believer in that the subtle inappropriate remarks are better than the big jokey, long winded kind.

And that's why somehow the Brits have time after time made the horror-omedy work. Shawn of the Dead, Severance and now we have The Cottage.

Mixing the 2 genres together is very tricky. Sam Raimi's Evil Dead is an example of classic horror-omedy. But this film would not work without the comedy. If you remove that, it's just a used DVD bin rehash of The Hills Have Eyes meets Fargo.

Hell, when you can me somebody's foot being cut off funny, that's deserves praise.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

2 bumbling petty criminals kidnap the daughter of a underground kingpin and hold her for ransom in a cottage in the farmland. What they don't know is they've stumbled upon a pissed off redneck after they trespass on his land.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

The Cottage is cardboard cut out horror caricatures to a tee. But just like eating a slice of pizza, you know how it's gonna taste and once you've eaten it, it's still damn tasty. Peter (Reece Shearsmith) is our reluctant hero criminal. The regular guy who gets caught in a scheme gone wrong. Steven (Andy Serkis) plays his brother, a leather coated, gruffy goatee tough guy who hatches the plan.

The kidnap victim, Tracey (Jennifer Ellison) is a spoiled Mafia princess whose brother Steven gets caught in the plan as well.

The first 40 or so minutes are your average crime gone wrong brand of ridiculousness. Inevitably it will be compared to From Dusk til Dawn in structure. I was slightly bored watching the paint dry with the jabbering British dialogue but Ellison's breasts kept me entertained.

The plan goes way off target, from the ransom being compromised to some Asian thugs trying to kill our bumbling bafoons (I always wanted to use that in a sentence).

The 50 or so minutes where we get into the horror are where The Cottage shows some balls. It seems this reclusive house is in some psycho farmer's land and he's got some issues. Lots of blood, splatter and gore ensue which are done in some Benny Hill like moments.

Foot slicing, decaps and entrails all get shown and I gotta admit, I wanted all of these people to die.

Our farmer slasher is straight out of the Hills Have Eyes disfigured family of monsters and though I've see this a thousand times, I enjoyed his chasing of these idiots.

Alas, the ending is ironic (as the Brits guarantee in almost all their horror), it wraps it all nicely. Suffice it to say this isn't no Shawn of the Dead, but the Cottage is clever enough to not waste my time. Bloody well done.

So grab some tea. I suggest Earl Grey, hot. And watch our friends across the pond make you laugh, squirm and be merry. Bollocks.

Influences

Shawn of the Dead
Severance
The Office
The Hills Have Eyes
Fargo
Probably some British films I've never heard of

Gore-ipedia (if you want to be shocked don't read)

Head butting
Groin kicking
Intenstine spilling guts
Throat slashing
Shovel decapitation
Foot slicing (top part only)
Picket through the leg
Decapitated heads
Body parts galore
Picket trauma
Picket through the groin
Head and spine decapitation

Nudipidedia (because you like boobies)

None.

So here's a picture of Jennifer Ellison to keep you entertained.

!!!!WTF moment!!!!

The last thing on the Gore-ipedia list. That rocked

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

Severance and Shawn to me are just horror-omedy done fuckin right. And I'm glad the Brits are continuing to make these sub genres of movies because they are so fuckin good at it.

Some American horror fans won't like this. We don't like when our horror and comedy intertwine. We need our Superbad and our Hills Have Eyes 2 separated.

But that's too bad. Because its movies like the Cottage that know how to do it right. It's 90 minutes of laughs, shits and giggles and buckets of gore. Bloody fun!

Rating:
The Trailer:

Tags:
the cottage, the cottage review , the cottage dvd review , the hills have eyes, gore splatter, horroromedy, top horror movies of 2008, horror blog, shawn of the dead, british horror comedy, UK horror, jennifer ellison,

Categories: horror-omedy, severance, shawn of the dead, the cottage, the cottage review, the office