Karate Robo Zaborgar (Review)

Karate Robo Zaborgar

Karate Robo Zaborgar (2011)

Directed by Noboru Iguchi

[part of the NYAFF 2011, NEW YORK PREMIERE]

See? The Japanese are just like Hollywood. Sometimes you run out of ideas and have to remake old TV shows. You didn't think America was the only country to take a cheesy 70s television show and remake it for the big screen did you?

Karate Robo Zaborgar from the outtakes at then end of the film seemed like a 60s Batman meets robot anime kind of TV show. Who else but Noboru Iguchi
would remake this into a full fledged movie. Iguchi who has given us RoboGeisha and The Machine Girl (whose trailer went viral in America) is not new to the half robot half human dynamic. It's a Japanese WTF film pure and simple. You either love em or hate em.

I absolutely enjoyed the shit out of The Machine Girl but somehow KRZ is a little too wacky and cheesy in my book. That's not to say it doesn't have it's moments. Full of flying robots, human/borg hybrids, 90 foot tall Japanese teenage girl cyborg and bulldog tanks, I was fully awe inspired by the idiot-tacracy of it all. But I thought back to recent Japanese WTF films which I thought blew my mind. Big Man Japan is an absolute classic awesome WTF film that is coherent at it is crazy.

KRZ is also way to long running at 140 minutes! What you are essentially watching is 2 hour long episodes of a remade TV show. KRZ is 50% wacky and 25% absurd and 25% WTF. You have to make sure you brain is shut off to enjoy the film and when you do, it somehow gives you laughs you are shocked that you enjoy.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Daimon (Yasuhisa Furuhara) and his motorcycle/robot pal/karate expert, Zaborgar, protect the citizens of Japan from flying cyborg heads and samurai kissing monsters. But when Daimon falls in love with the villainous Miss Borg (Mami Yamasaki), the two buds have a falling out that could ruin everything. Any further summary would read like the scribblings of the world’s coolest, most cracked-out 13 year old: the plot is a 50 car pile-up of smackdowns, wild comedy and robot rugby girls with chest dragons. Iguchi, finally armed with a real budget, packs the screen with gonzo spectacle and delivers the kind of movie that leaves your ribs bruised from giggling and your face aching from grinning too much.

It’s not all wine and robots, though: when the film jumps ahead 25 years to show what happens when a hero is forgotten, Iguchi’s not kidding around. Like all of the wildest dreamers, he wants you to believe as much as he does. As Daimon himself, now a slouching schlub with an aching back (Itsuji Itao), proclaims, “Though diabetic…though over the hill…if one keeps trying, one can fight until the last moment.” That’s the spirit, and it’s the message of Iguchi’s joyously retro rock-out.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

You read the plot above? Go ahead I'll wait. Done? OK good.

Basically set as a 2 part episode, KRZ follows young Daimon and his adventures with his motorcycle transforming Zaborgar as they battle the evil Sigma who wants to basically destroy Japan. Dr. Akunomiya is the evil mastermind behind Sigma and he has a beautiful Miss Borg as his #1. As we see Daimon and ZABORGAR!!!! (who he can order to change into a motorcycle and fight in various martial arts styles) battle the evil henchmen, he also has to decide which is the greater evil. Sigma who murdered his father or the Japanese bureaucracy who are evil and greedy as well.

From bulldog tanks, football robot vixens to diarrhea robots, Daimon and Zaborgar battle with quirky karate and flying boomerang blades. I mean the fembots have monster demon heads coming out of their boobs and butt. You kind of know what the deal is when it comes to the Japanese. They love over the top cheesiness. It makes Troma look like a Michael Bay film.

The movie jumps 25 years later and the world is again threatened by Sigma. But now he's battling his son and his daughter, a unforeseen union by Miss Borg and himself. More wackiness ensues climaxed by Akiko his daughter being transformed into a skyscraper tall half robot half human killing machine.

The movie follows what seems to be the plot of the TV children's show. In the outtakes at the end, we see the same scenes from the movie as they were first aired on the TV show. It's hilarious bad in terms of quality but this is from the same industry that had a man in a dinosaur suit smashing cardboard cutouts of a city.

I'll admit, I liked KRZ for it's inexplicable way it can show me something I've never seen before. I indeed laughed a few times at some crude jokes as well as some timely social pop culture humor. Also seeing a giant robot muy thai another robot makes me smile. We often watch something on YouTube that comes from Japan and we usually go "Oh those wacky Japanese!" Well this is a movie where Western audiences will overload in all that is completely wacky and fun about fighting robot motorcycle transformers.

Like I said, it's a little too long and there really is so much you can take when you have to watch 2+ hours of this. Karate Robo Zaborgar is Sushi Typhoon and Iguchi's wink to Western cult audiences. You watch the trailer and you say "I gotta see this crazy Japanese movie! It looks fuckin awesome!" And it's clearly as awesome as advertised. But then you also realize the jokes are corny and the humor a little tasteless. And it's really really over the top.

It starts to remind you of a certain American robot movie.

See?

American and Japan aren't so different after all.

Gore-ipedia

Some light arterial spraying

WTF moment

Diarrhea monster?

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

NYAFF 2011 film festival opens on 7/1. I've created a list of films to check out at this year's festival.

Head over to the official site for more info.

The Vitals

• The official site via NYAFF 2011

Rating:


Check out the trailer.

Categories: cyborgs, japanese, japanese anime, japanese exploitation, machine girl, Noburu Iguchi, robots, sukeban boy, wtf films

The Shortround: Blinky (tm) (Watch the full short!)

With The Shortround, sometimes I review shorts you guys never get to see as they are usually sent via screeners or are touring various film festivals. Well, that's not going to happen with this one because YOU can watch the full short below and read my review after. I'm kind of excited to see what you all thing about Ruairi Robinson's Blinky TM (aka Bad Robot). A sci-fi horror blend of Asimov wickedness.

Robinson is an Irish filmmaker who has made a couple of sci-fi shorts his last being The Silent City. He was attached to direct the live action version of Akira but dropped out. Starring Max Records from Where the Wild Things Are, Blinky will make you cry, laugh and cringe. The tagline says it all.

Soon every home will have a robot helper. Don't worry. It's perfectly safe.

Check it out below.

Blinky™ from Ruairi Robinson on Vimeo.

the jaded viewer says: Blinky tm does so much in its 12 min runtime that it's almost a perfect short. Like a segment out of Issac Assimov's I, Robot, you get a feel for this future world that even Speilberg would be impressed. From the fake newscast to the Blinky commercial (I loved the quick warnings the commercial gives), you feel as if this world is only years away.

Max Records gives a great performance as Alex Neville whose parents are arguing constantly which leads him to want a Blinky, a R2D2 like droid that is part housekeeper, part playmate. The montage of happy times is hilariously LOL (they like to play Hide and Seek and throw Frisbees) and it's this contrast to the later half of the short where things fall apart that is so subtle it has a feel of a feature film ready to take off.

The twist of Blinky is that you feel the "The Three Laws of Robotics" is going to be twisted and bent here and it is. The roller coaster you go through is particularly brilliant. We the viewer feel for Alex who is seeing his parent's marriage crumble. Then we empathize with Blinky who sees Alex turn into his parents, becoming angry, confused and uncaring. It's so clearly intentional that it makes for a hell of an emotional game.

Robinson knows how to pull your strings and with Blinky's final minutes, he totally yanks the chair from underneath you. That is an impressive feat for a short. The special effects are awesome, top notch and stellar. Blinky moves and acts as a real character and ILM should hire this guy immediately!

When Skynet takes over, you better treat your robot slave well or you'll be looking for some spare parts of your own.

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What did you think of Blinky (tm)? Share your thoughts about this short.

The Vitals

• Ruairi Robinson's Vimeo site
• Blinky TM IMDB Page
• Thanks to Twitch for the heads up
  

Categories: blink tm, horror short, robots, short, short film, the shortround

What is the worst apocalypse for humanity? (The Results)

A few months back I posted my Top 10 Worst Apocalypses. My #1 choice of the most horrible apocalypse to inflict humanity was a zombie armageddon. It looks like you all agreed as out of 199 votes, a zombie apocalypse won convincingly with 25% of the vote. Coming in second was Virus (16%) and Nuclear at (14%).

From the looks of it nobody is scared of vampires (cuz they twinkle?) and robots. I was sure robots would be a little higher as I got them at #4 on my list. And nobody is really scared of alien slavemasters either.

I got some interesting comments as well you can check out here. If we run out of oil, you'll be begging for some zombies instead.

Thanks to everybody who voted. New poll will be coming soon!

Categories: alien bugs, aliens, ebola virus, fast moving zombies, post apocalyptic, robots, vampires, worst case scenario, zombies

The 10 Worst Apocalypses

With the Walking Dead just kicking ass on AMC, I was originally going to post a list of things that logically would kinda suck during a zombie apocalypse. One of the main things would be all the freakin flies and maggots that would infest the dead. Shouldn't we see flies buzzing around each zombie? Also, a few weeks into decomposition, its maggot city right?

But I digress.

It's no shock that a zombie apocalypse to me is the king of apocalypses. I mean the dead walking around is pretty much fucked up as you can get. Limited human survivors and a constantly growing army looking to eat your brains guarantees an end to the world. But what other types of apocalypses would suck?

Here is my list. I hope you include your own in the comments. I'm also putting up a poll in the right nav bar so you can vote on which you think is the WORST OF THE APOCALYPSES.

Now head to your fallout shelter ASAP!

10.) Water Apocalypse

the jaded viewer says: Think Waterworld. Say because of global warming the ice caps start to melt and we all gotta live on boats. I'm not good with boats and get sea sick pretty easily. Shit, I don't want to grow gills either.

9.) Religious Apocalypse

the jaded viewer says: You'd think I'd say it would be God vs the Devil or angels vs demons. But that's not the kind I'm talking about. It would kinda suck if the world collapsed into a collective war over religious ideology. Oh shit you mean that's happening now? Fuck.

8.) Asteroid Apocalypse

the jaded viewer says: You know where I'm heading. Yup Armageddon and Deep Impact territory. The impact of the asteroids would eradicate a large population but the fallout would cause us to probably all live underground. We probably wouldn't have Internet either.

7.) Natural Resources Apocalypse

the jaded viewer says: On Discovery Channel they once theorized if we ran out of oil all hell would break loose. Wars would breakout all over the world as each country horded gas and oil. We really do need all the stuff we dig out of the Earth and it would be madness if gas cost $100 a gallon.

6.) Vampire Apocalypse

the jaded viewer says: I recently read Guillermo Del Toro's The Strain and he really details a widespread pandemic if vampires elected to go all vampy and not be all secretive about their intent. Daybreakers illustrates that we could all be infected pretty fast. A vampire world with consist of no sunlight and an overwhelming thirst for blood. But the superhuman strength would be fuckin awesome.

5.) Virus Apocalypse

the jaded viewer says: An airborne virus spreading across the planet is the most frightening and MOST REALISTIC thing that could happen. We've had our scares with Ebola and Mad Cow. Say we get a virus like in Stephen King's The Stand, we'd all be fucked. Quarantine zones, wearing masks and hazmat suits. Say the virus turned us into flesh eating mutants? Who would I get to play XBox Kinect with?

4.) Robotic Apocalypse

the jaded viewer says: Skynet goes self aware. Your jacked into the Matrix (which doesn't sound so bad). A war between the machines is gonna suck. When your Wii starts attacking you, all hope is loss.


3.) Nuclear Apocalypse

the jaded viewer says: It's The Road and it's depressing as hell. Sure Mad Max may look fun with their dune buggies and Road Warrior shoulder pads but the 100 or so years in the fallout shelter would kinda suck.

2.) Alien Apocalypse

the jaded viewer says: We're not alone. But after they destroy all the major cities and start a human genocide you'd hope we would be. A virus from a Mac ain't gonna work dude. Being slaves to an alien race is pretty much the worst case scenario. No way we can beat their technology if they're using fuckin force fields. Plus being destroyed by aliens would be demoralizing as you'd think humanity could do it better ourselves.

1.) Zombie Apocalypse

the jaded viewer says: Like I said, a post apocalyptic zombie world would just plain the best worst. Zombie corpses, flies and maggots. All major cities uninhabitable. I mean the walking dead would stink like crazy.

Plus I'm not good with firearms. Maybe I should brush up via Call of Duty.

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Well that's my list. What do you think is the worst of the apocalypses? Go ahead and vote in the poll to the right and if you got your own list, share it below.

And if I flipped the question around, what would be the best apocalypse that you think we'd all be able to survive? I'm thinking vampires (we got daylight!).

Share your thoughts!

Categories: aliens, Apocalypse, ebola virus, post apocalyptic, robots, the terminator, vampires, zombies

The WTF List: Iron Man 2

Oh let the summer popcorn flicks begin. Well, the first superhero movie of the year was Kick-Ass (which I absolutely loved). There will be plenty more robot action, but Iron Man 2 is solidly solid. I mean Robert Downey Jr. plays Tony Stark with a carefree douchebaggery, its fun fun fun. Add in Gywneth Paltrow and Scarlett Johansson as your eye candy (is it me or does Scarlett's boobies get bigger every movie?) and its smash em up, blow em up action.

So lets WTF with a list shall we?

1.) So do the youngins think Mickey Rourke is the guy from the Wrestler or the guy from Sin City? I think he's the guy from 9 1/2 weeks.
2.) Garry Shandling plays the dick, Jewish Senator.
3.) Why is it that a simple iPhone can crack into the Department of Defense?
4.) Tony Stark's basement is waaaaaay awesomer than the Batcave.
5.) We've got the anti-Stark Justin Hammer. He's not too much of an asshole...which he should be.
6.) Don Cheadle plays the black guy...because black guys in Hollywood are all Don Cheadles.
7.) Jeezus Scarlett, can you get more hotter?
8.) Well Whiplash vs Iron Man battle #1 was sorta yawn.
9.) My Iron Man knowledge is very limited. So is my Avengers knowledge.
10.) I thought Nick Fury was white, ran in slo mo and had a tan?
11.) Jeezus Scarlett, are you wearing leather? I'm going to need 10 minutes...brb.
12.) Iron Man vs War Machine was fun. Stark's house is getting all kinds of fucked up. I feel sorry for the contractor who's gonna have to do repairs.
13.) Everytime I see Iron Man, I think the Sabbath song"I am Iron Man" theme song is gonna play.
14.) Can you believe the Stark Expo is a few stops away from my apartment?
15.) I swear to God, if Iron Man fucks up Citi Field in any way, I'm going to call 911.
16.) OK let me tell you that I know the layout of Flushing Meadow Park and right now the globe, the circular steel structure and the MIB saucer thingies are not as awesome as you'd think they are close up.
17.) Lots of shit is getting blown up....lots of blast beams and lots of gunfire. It's like Baltimore.
18.) Oh did Tony Stark make a gay reference to Captain America...oh yes he did!
19.) Whiplash still sucks in Iron Man vs Whilpash battle #2
20.) Fuck, I missed the scene at the end of the credits...somebody please post this on YouTube ASAP.

OK to conclude, Tony Stark is a douche, Scarlett Johansson is yummy, Whiplash has a bad Russian accent for someone who is Russian, Citi Field remained intact and we are probably going to get an Avengers movie.

Now go see IM2 and get your robot suit porn action on.

Categories: action cinema, iron man, iron man 2, robots, summer movies, the wtf list

This is the only reason they are remaking Deadly Friend in 3D

Have you seen Wes Craven's Deadly Friend? Probably not. And you're not alone. I've seen it but it's been a while since I remembered while it's memorable. Well of course! It's the infamous basketball death scene which sticks out like Shaquille O'Neal at a little people convention. I posted the basketball scene a while back and now with news that Deadly Friend will be remade in 3D (which I freakin Nostradmused that would happen), the basketball scene is the #1 reason why its going to be in 3D.

So I pose the question: Can one scene warrant a 3D Hollywood remake?

You be the judge. Watch it below.




I mean that scene is awesome right? Did Hollywood actually do what I think it did?

Did they see this one scene on YouTube and some exec was like: "Holy Eli Roth! That scene is fuckin the shit! Let's remake this movie immediately!!!!"

Umm, that's exactly what they did.

The only reason why Deadly Friend was remotely interesting was the uber hotness of Kristy Swanson and our 80s obsession with everything robotic. I mean we all know about Chopping Mall right?

Even the premise is completely ridiculous.

Paul is a new kid in town with a robot named "BB". He befriends Samantha and the three of them have a lot of good times together. That is, until Samantha's abusive father throws her down some stairs and kills her. In an effort to save her life, Paul implants BB's computer brain into Samantha's human brain

So what else could they steal from the original and make it burst from the screen? How about glass through the stomach? You want that shit in 3D don't you???




That not enough? How about one of the Sam killing her dad? (FF >> 3:55) See that shovel throw (its going to be awesome in 3D!!) , wrist snapping in 3D (soo cool!), strangulation comin right atcha!





And of course the ending is ripe for some 3D-ness.




This is movie has so many potential 3D moments, I can't believe they didn't think of doing this sooner (umm that was all sarcasm my horror minions)

I am 100% sure the basketball scene is why we're getting this entire movie in 3D. The movie is about killer robot!!! A Yellow killer robot!

It's not going to be too long until they remake Night of the Comet and Chopping Mall as well. It's scary when I'm too psychic for my own good.

Categories: 1980 cult classic, 1980s horror, 3d, 3d horror movies, 80s horror, deadly friend, robots, Top 5 80s Horror Movies Hollywood Might Actually Think Would Be Good Remakes

Yatterman (Trailer)

Takashi Miike heads to NY Comic Con this year to premiere Yatterman, his new film based on a Japanese anime of the same name.

So what's the hype all about?

Why would Miike come all the way to America to show us this insanity of this live action cartooney craziness before the manga and anime loving otaku's of his homeland?

Because from the trailer below, it's something us geeky American nerds, comic lovers and manga and anime obsessed Ameri-taku's are going to love as well.

For the uninformed, the plot is below.

A mysterious gem called the "Skull Stone" said to be able to reveal the location of the largest vein of gold in the world. This legend has entranced many people who wanted to get their hands on fame, power and wealth, including the Dorombo Gang. However, their hunt for the Skull Stone is not as easy as they imagined, mainly due to the faulty information they receive from their leader; and most of all, by a justical duo of pursuers called the "Yatterman".

And plus there is a gigantic robot dog!!!

What else do you need?

Damn that theme song is catchy too.

Check out the trailer.








Yatterman comes out March 7th in Japan but Feb 7th in NY. Check out the official site.

Tags:
yatterman, yatterman trailer , yatterman live action , kekko kamen trailer, japanese manga, japan anime, takashi miike, gratuitous nudity, japan films, ny comic con, japan superhero, robot dog,

Categories: gan-chan, japanese anime, manga, ny comic con, otaku, robots, skull stone, takashi miike, yattaman, yatterman, yatterman trailer