My, my, it's been a while hasn't it?

Ur-spo recently asked for another post from me. I've been meaning to write stuff here for a while, but since it's been so long, it's hard to know where to start, what to pick up, what to leave off.

So I'll tell you what's on my mind right now. Well, some of what's on my mind. As has been demonstrated many times before (see the whole damned archives for my rambling nonsense) there are lots of things that crowd my mind all at once. I'll tell you some of the wisdom I have gathered in the last few months.

I seem to be getting my shit together somewhat. It all stems, I propose, from flossing my teeth regularly. Have I mentioned this yet? My New Year's Resolution for 2012 was to floss my teeth regularly. Of course I've made many a lofty resolution in years past and never fulfilled squat. A couple of weeks into the new year I had my semi-annual teeth cleaning, and at that point decided that I could floss my teeth regularly. It's a small thing, very small, and something I can probably keep doing. And I have. All this year I've almost never failed to floss before I brush my teeth at bedtime.

This has led to other changes in my personal lifestyle (or I credit the flossing since I don't know what else it could be). Sometime (I think) late in the summer (though I can't recall exactly) it slowly dawned on me that I don't really need all that food I've been eating. For many years (my entire adult life) I have been something of a compulsive overeater. If one cookie is good, twelve are better. If I want it, I eat it, and not in small quantity either. My size, my weight, attest to this fact. As I've said for years, I'm twice the woman I should be. But now, if I lost half my current weight I'd be a bit too small. Yes, I have lost weight! Over 30 lbs! I'm eating healthier and eating less. I don't need all that extra food to make me happy (or whatever my silly brain has been trying to compensate for).

The next step (one of them) is more stepping. The "trick" to weight loss is to eat less and move more. I have yet to psych myself up to exercise, but I'm thinking about it. Actually, I am moving a bit more. Weighing less has given me more energy. I can walk more easily. I occasionally park farther out in parking lots to walk extra. Oh, I'll tell you a tiny story. Last week I made a major grocery excursion; bought $300 worth of fairly cheap stuff at Wal-Mart. Took two carts to haul it all out to the truck. C was home to help me carry it all in from the truck, but I could have done it if I'd had to. And I put it all away. A few months ago I didn't have the stamina to stay in the store that long, much less haul stuff to the car, unload it, and put it away. Now I'll tell you, I was bushed afterward. Rested a while. Then I got up and did more stuff.

Thanksgiving I cooked almost the entire dinner (lots of stuff) by myself. Superman and Light have cooked most of Thanksgiving dinner in recent years. Light is now in Pennsylvania and hasn't been here for Thanksgiving for two years. Superman tore the medial gastrocnemius in his right calf the day before Thanksgiving and was practically no help with cooking. He chopped some veggies. Diva helped with a couple of things, but that was work for me, too, because I gave guidance. Dinner turned out great. That felt good!

I decided a month or two ago to do a lot more cooking. For one thing, I've cut out most meat. Still do poultry sometimes though I'm trying to cut that out, too. Still do seafood and have no qualms about that. We've had a lot of vegetarian meals over the past few weeks. I searched through some of my recipe collections for stuff that either is or can be meat free. I've been planning weekly meals!!  This is unheard of. Haven't been this gung-ho domestic since our early marriage. Tonight we had awesome mac-n-cheese with mushrooms, onions, and carrots chopped up fine in it. Four kinds of cheese, small shell pasta (my favorite). Awesome.

I've had a turkey in the freezer for probably over a year, and didn't use it at Thanksgiving, so Sproing convinced me to pull it out and cook it. That's dinner for tomorrow. It won't be the full T'giving spread, but I'll have a lot of the same stuff. No dressing, no green bean casserole this time. Sweet potatoes, definitely. Found a low fat recipe for sweet potato casserole that is, if anything, better than the rich delicious one my mother-in-law taught me.

Part of the impetus for all this domesticity is financial concerns. Our expenses are rising and income isn't. I'm sort of supposed to be getting a job now, you know, to pay off my student loans and shit. That was the agreement when I went back to school. Except I keep needing to be at home to take care of stuff. For example, Superman can't drive at all until after he sees the orthopedist in January, if then. He's got a big boot (walking boot they call it) that he might be able to stop using in 6 weeks. So I'm his chauffeur. The kids always need to be taken to various psycho-medical appointments. Diva got herself suspended for two days (tomorrow (Tues) and Wednesday) and I need to be here to manage her time. We do not want her to enjoy being suspended! Even if tomorrow is her birthday. But she is a whole other blog post I don't want to write right now. The point is that I am trying to do stuff at home that saves us money.

OH, and speaking of, I started making bread again. I used to make all our bread many years ago (before Twitch was born, I think. He's 21, almost 22). I use a starter called Herman. (I don't know why "Herman"). Here is the bread recipe. Have made it twice so far. The first time Sproing ate almost a whole loaf by himself. Yesterday I divided the starter into two containers so I can make a couple of loaves every two or three days. With all the hungry people in this house we need at least that much. I really like making bread. I had forgotten how much I enjoy it. And now I have the energy to do it!

That's about all I can think to share tonight. I endeavor to get back here before too long to ramble on about other things, like Diva and Sproing and their shenanigans. And Twitch graduates with a bachelor's degree in Graphic Design in less than two weeks. What's he gonna do next? So far he has no job lined up. My Mama just got out of the hospital today after suffering with a nasty urinary tract infection that had her fever up to 103+ for days. My dad goes in to the hospital for a heart valve replacement in less than two weeks. He told me he's getting a valve from an Arkansas Razorback Hog.
 
He's been a Florida Gator fan most of his life, and I told him he's gonna be compelled to root for Arkansas now. He's a trip.

Is there any past drama that you'd like me to update? Any questions I've left hanging that you'd like answers to? Just ask. I'll do my best to provide answers in a follow-up blog post. Soon, even!

I had a good day... and drunk blogging

I've had a spate of bad days over the past couple of weeks, but have felt pretty good most of this week. I had 2.5 glasses of wine and some spiked coffee this evening, and my head is floating about half a head above my head now. Feelin' groovy.

Superman left here Sunday to visit his parents. I may have mentioned before that his father is in poor health. Today (24 Nov) is his 79th birthday, and Superman wanted to visit and be there on his dad's birthday. He had a good visit with the folks. He left their place around noon and drove to the city where Twitch attends school to retrieve the boy. They got here at 9:17 this evening (he notices stuff like that). Superman is compressed, and has been attempting to decompress since he got home, having spotty success. I'm glad he's back home. Things went pretty well while he was gone, but it is very good to have him back where he belongs.

So Twitch is home now, and Light got home yesterday (Tues.). Tomorrow morning I will drive to Columbia to retrieve the Diva. She'll come home for Thanksgiving dinner, then go right back to the loony bin. I'm a bit uncomfortable about her being here, but I feel obligated to include her in the holiday observance. I think I'd feel more uncomfortable (read: guilty) if we excluded her. The plan is to keep a wary eye on her at all times, and no one will be alone with her. It's a tricky thing. Yes, there's some resentment being served with our holiday meal.

Speaking of the meal, Superman and Light will be doing the majority of the cooking. I'll go get Diva, and hopefully he will drive her back in the afternoon. After being on the road for 9 hours today he might not be thrilled about another 3 or so. Eh. It's what we do.

Twitch is home. He can be an annoying pain in the arse. Sproing is having some trouble settling down tonight, and Light is in the room that Twitch and Sproing share, singing to her little brother. Sproing loves that. They developed that habit last summer and it was a good way for them to build on their relationship. Twitch was at school through the summer and missed that fun. Well, he's trying to go to sleep now and is entirely put out about all this melodic sweetness. Oh, get over yourself, young'un!

I mixed up a batch of ginger snap cookies this evening, and the batter is currently in the refrigerator acquiring the necessary firmness for shaping and baking. Shape and Bake, not the same as Shake and Bake. I also baked two pumpkin and one pecan pie. That's about the extent of my contribution to dinner. When I get back with Diva tomorrow (probably close to noon) I'll do some further consultation and perhaps pitch in with some real work. We'll see what needs to be done.

This post is boring me. There is some other stuff I want to talk about but tonight is not the time to do so. I need to discuss art and psychology and uncertainty and internal conflict and that sort of thing. Hopefully I'll get back here to do that before next week. I have a bunch of homework to do this weekend, too. Right now, though, it's time to go to bed.

I hope everyone has a lovely weekend, a happy Thanksgiving if you live in a place where that applies, and peace and security within your life.

(From my perspective this post seems fairly coherent, as if I weren't under the alcofluence of incohol at all. I'll have to check back tomorrow for a different perspective.)

I'm not dead yet

I feel almost human again. I felt like crap Thursday, and yesterday I was SOOOOO tired! I took a 4 hour nap, and was tired the rest of the day. The headache weaved in and out of my head all day. I got about 9 hours of sleep last night, and woke up feeling pretty good. I haven't really done anything today, but I'm happy with that.

There will be some sort of grilling of meat and vegetables later in the day. Indigo is vegetarian, so he and Superman went shopping yesterday for some good grillable vegetables. We wouldn't want to starve the poor fella while he's here! It seems that Independence Day is a good day for a chocolate cake, too, don't you agree? I believe I'll go put something like that together. It's possible we might churn some home made ice cream as well. All of this requires that I get off my lazy ass and DO something. Having nothing much better to do anyway, I guess I'll get on it.

Happy Day

Coming up for air

I love school! I'm so pumped just being in class. I wish the class periods lasted a little bit longer. Especially my Mon/Wed/Fri classes, which only last an hour. Tues/Thurs I'm in class for 1.5 hours, and that's better. I feel more alive than I have in a long time.

...in some respects. In other respects, I'm dead. As in "dead tired." I may have mentioned that my iron levels are low. I'm taking an iron supplement, but it takes a while for that to make a difference. I haven't been sleeping as long as I should. I stay up late studying then get up at 5:30 to start the new day. All my classes are back-to-back, so I don't have a break between them, but once I get a break I'm done for the day. 

There is an awful lot of information coming at me really fast. I have always been a thinker, so the brain work isn't too different. I just haven't had to think this big and this fast in a while. Hopefully I'll get into the swing of it and it won't seem quite so, I dunno, intense. 

All but two of my classes are freshman level courses, and sure enough there are a lot of freshmen around. 18-19 year olds are stoopid, irritating, thoughtless, clueless, and really try my patience. I smile and shut up mostly. I met a woman who is in a situation similar to mine. She's in her 40s, has 4 kids (teens in high school and a couple of 20 somethings out of the house), is getting a degree in psych and minoring in business for a mid-life career change. We were both extremely happy to see each other in the two classes we share. 

I have yet to finish the first chapters in two of my textbooks. I start them, read about halfway through, then either fall asleep or get pulled away to something else. I've glanced over the rest, and looked over the power point slides for one of them. But I have tests and stuff next week. I plan to get through the chapters this weekend, to read and understand the whole thing. 

I am exploring the campus. I wandered all over the student center building the other day and discovered a secret hallway. Well, it's really not all that secret, but it isn't obvious. Many of the student support services have offices there. This is a stretch for me. I'm great at driving down different roads to see what's there. But to walk around and chance a personal encounter with another human being is more bravado than I usually muster. The biggie was going into the cafeteria. It is big and strange and full of people. There are social expectations, those unwritten codes of behavior that if violated make you look like a dweeb. 

It's a fancy modern cafeteria, with different stations for different types of food. There are no trays and no tray runways. It works a lot like a buffet restaurant, actually. Diners get a plate and use tongs to pick up various food stuffs. There are a few places where a cafeteria lady dishes out portions. I suspect they do that to keep the boys from scarfing all the more expensive food. There's a salad bar, an area with the main entree and side dishes du jour, a pizza station, a sandwich station, a deli type area. (I think that's what it is. I haven't been to that one yet. There is also a dessert station and an array of cereal dispensers. Cheerios, frosted mini wheats, raisin bran, chocolate rice crispies, sugar coated puffed wheat, and a few others. I think there are 8 different cereals. 

There are a couple of drink stations. It's a Pepsi campus! Pepsi is my favorite, and around here there are lots of Coke-only establishments. The drink stations offer soda and juice, healthy or flavored fizzy sugar water. And milk. Coffee too.  Of the cookies I've sampled I like the oatmeal raisin the best. Those cookies are fantastic dipped in the coffee! I saw a soft serve ice cream dispenser, but haven't had any of that yet. The food is excellent, the facility is comfortable and welcoming. If you are looking for a good school based on the quality of the dining facilities, I recommend Lander. 

The thing I miss the most is visiting your blogs. I haven't had time to post or read much of anything. I barely keep up with my email. Hopefully I'll establish a routine of study and home obligations that allows me to slip in a bit more blog time as well. 

That's all my brain will reveal right now. If I could post on the go I'd have shared all sorts of little snippets of insight or interesting tidbits that crossed my mind during the week. Unfortunately I didn't write them down and now can't remember much. 

It was a good day

Things like this can go either way, you know? So much depends on one's attitude. It was a good Thanksgiving. 

Light did most of the cooking. She loves to cook, and doesn't have any way to cook at school. That works out really well for me, because she's eager to cook when she comes home. Today she made pies (pumpkin and pecan), rolls, green bean cassserole, and some other stuff, too, I think. I did the turkey, and showed Light how to make my stuffing. It turned out really well. I like my stuffing. Superman made cornbread to go in the stuffing. He is the best cornbread cook in the house. I made the sweet potato casserole with the sweet potatoes Superman cooked. Oh, and he fixed Brussel Sprouts using a nifty recipe he found earlier this week. The Brussel Sprouts were GOOD!! I mean, like really good, not like Brussel Sprouts which taste nasty. Maybe I'll have him post the recipe as a guest blogger here. What fun. 

Anyway, there was lots of food and it was all good. Mostly, anyway. There were just the six of us for dinner. I haven't seen C and S since mid-morning. I'm not sure who they were with today, but they've got many friends and an extended family-of-choice around here. S has local family of origin, too, but he doesn't usually spend much time with them. C's family of origin no longer lives here. He stayed, they moved. Eh. But I digress. (as usual)

We didn't have dinner until after 7:00. Light set the menu and the dinner time. She had us scheduled to eat at 6:00, but as these things do, the cooking lasted longer than expected. She's a good cook, but not too experienced. She moves much slower than I do in the kitchen. I didn't realize that until we tried to work together today. She takes her time with all the chopping and mixing, etc. I move like a whirlwind with my chopping and stirring and stuff. I'm dumping things into pots and bowls in a blur of activity. She carefully measures each ingredient and meticulously stirs the mix. It drives me crazy to watch, so I mostly stayed out of the way.

It was warm today. We almost got up to 70 degrees! With the oven blasting it got really hot in the kitchen! Way hotter than it should be this time of year, by golly. Superman and I had the window open in our bedroom most of the afternoon. 

I watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade this morning. I'm not overly fond of parades, generally, but I love to watch this one every year. It's tradition. We don't watch football around here, but we do watch the parade. Well, I watch the parade. I turned it on in the living room so the kids could see it, but I'm not sure they really watched. 

Diva was really tired today. I think she was up a lot the night before. I know she got up at 3:00 a.m. and I gave her some pain medicine then. I don't think she went back to sleep after that. By mid afternoon she could barely keep her eyes open. She almost fell asleep at the dinner table. Poor kidlet. She's doing much better. She still can't talk well and is a bit sore, but not bad at all. Night time is the worst. She drinks enough during the day to keep her throat well hydrated. It gets dry and very sore when she sleeps. 

But she's so quiet! This is a new state for her. She and Sproing are exceptionally loud. Children are loud. My children are very loud children. Except now Diva just shuffles around the house barely making any noise. Well, except when she wimpers and whines. That's annoying!!! I told her even if her throat hurts she is not allowed to whine! Sometimes that works. 

Sproing wandered off this afternoon to see one of his friends. He didn't return home until amost 5:00! Lordy, child, where have you been? What if we'd planned supper for earlier in the evening? Oh, well, as it was we didn't eat until 2.5 hours after he got home. And while he was gone the house was fairly quiet. It was lovely. As soon as he got home, though, things got really loud again. He was hungry, and he doesn't do well when he's hungry. Superman and I tried to get him to have a snack, but not eat too much. That was tricky. And it didn't work. He griped, yelled, argued, and screamed from the time he got home until he stomped off to bed. He was contentious at the dinner table. He argued with anything else anyone said. He refused to eat the stuff he'd asked for. This is typical Sproing behavior. It's tiring. He jumped up and stormed out of the room at least twice in the course of our dinner. Matching him scream for scream makes things worse. Mostly we were quiet but firm with him. Then he screamed at us. 

But it was a good day. He was screaming and acting out, but I was calm. I didn't get overly upset. Superman was really good, too. He didn't rise to Sproing's bait, either. We were both calm but firm with him. He didn't follow the plan quite so well, but we did our part. The boy is kinda funny sometimes. Between 5:00 and 8:00 this evening he was "going to bed! I don't want supper!" at least 5 times. The second time he left the dinner table we were all about finished anyway. I made him wash one of the serving bowls then he went to bed seething with anger. About 5 minutes after he got into bed I went in and sat on the bed beside him. I asked if he'd like me to scratch his back. He didn't answer, but I did anyway. I know he likes it. Then he started talking to me. He told me why he was frustrated, what it was he really wanted when he was screaming earlier. He actually listened to me! It was a good conversation! Both of us really like it when we can talk reasonably like that. He just hasn't figured out how to talk that way in every situation. It's almost as if he can't just talk until after he's screamed and pitched a fit. I don't know why. But the less upset I get about the drama, the less drama there is. As I said, today was a good day. I stayed cool!

But damn, that boy wears me out!

2XMeme

Ed, who should have a blog of his own, but uses Dirk's comments as his oration station, has tagged me with this meme. Being an independent and stubborn bitch, I've decided to do it but make up my own rules about it. Part of the deal, though, is for Ed to seriously consider, and I mean SERIOUSLY consider that it is time for him to have his own blog.

The first rule I've changed is the one about posting the rules.

Two names you go by:
1. Mom
2. Java

Two things you are wearing right now:
1. Contact lenses
2. Old comfortable unstylish pants

Two longest car rides:
1. Macon, GA to Boston, MA Spring 1982, to visit my boyfriend who attended MIT. 2 weeks before I met Superman. The thing with the other boy? It didn't work out.
2. Gainesville, FL to Silverton, CO Summer of 197something. Through Texas. Have you ever driven east to west through Texas in summer? It takes a l-o-n-g time. At least three years.

Two of your favorite things to do:
1. Blog
2. Spend time with Superman

Two things you want very badly at the moment:
1. For my two youngest children to want to do what's right, rather than look for ways to irritate others and break the rules.
2. Can't think of anything else I want Very Badly

Two animals you have or have had:
1. Ruby – dog, current. She is old and in poor health and will not be with us much longer, I'm afraid
2. Clyde – a single male Lovebird. Who masturbated. A lot.

Two people who will fill this out:
1. [insert your name here]
2. [you, too]

Two things you ate today:
1. The most delicious scrambled eggs that Superman made for my breakfast
2. Really good meatballs over jasmine rice that Superman made for dinner (if it weren't for Superman, I might starve, or possibly become malnourished from eating nothing but Little Debbie Nutty Bars all day)

Two people you last talked to:
1. Sproing
2. Superman

Two things you're doing tomorrow:
1. Sleeping, since I'll be up late tonight baking cookies for the kids' school carnival bake sale tomorrow. (good mommy points for baking cookies)
2. Thinking up excuses to not go to the kids' school carnival tomorrow. (lose good mommy points for avoiding the carnival)

Two favorite holidays:
1. Christmas: Advent, and the Christmas season for the week after Christmas. You know, after everyone has taken down the Christmas decorations and they stop playing Christmas music on the radio.
2. The first day of school. Technically not a holiday, but mothers of young children everywhere will understand that it bloody well SHOULD be a holiday.

Two favorite beverages:
1. Water
2. White grape with peach juice That is my current favorite. Ask again in a few weeks and I'll probably have a different second choice.

Blogging in the dark

A Thanksgiving Message

It may take a while for me to post this message. It is 1:45 on Thanksgiving afternoon and the power is out. My laptop has battery backup so I can at least write this.

I am thankful I didn't have anything in the oven when the power went out.

We have so far had a very productive day. Most of the kitchen is clean. The older kids started on that before I even got out of bed. Light led the charge, bless her.

I am thankful that Light is doing so well the day after her wisdom tooth extraction.

I have prepared pies. I am waiting for power to heat my oven to bake the pies. There are other things on the menu besides pies, but that's what I did first.

I am thankful the power just came back on! I will wait a few minutes to see if it stays on before I go back to the kitchen. That is the excuse I'm using to stay here and write instead of going back into the hot, stuffy kitchen. J

I'll have to give some background info on the kitchen in order for you to appreciate how wonderful it is to get the kitchen clean. I'll do that in another post. Briefly, though, lots of junk from some of the cabinets has been on and under and around the kitchen table, some in boxes, some stacked on the floor, for a while now. Today it is ALL gone! Well, gone from the floor and table. Much of it has been put away, a significant bit was thrown away (yippee!), and some of it is just stored elsewhere (not where it should go) for the time being.

I am thankful my kitchen is as clean as it is.

I finally remembered to get the turkey out of the deep freeze yesterday morning. It is, of course, still frozen. I went out last night and got a nice big beef roast. That is our Thanksgiving dinner. The turkey will be our Saturday-after-Thanksgiving dinner.

S and C have gone to visit S's mother. She is staying in a little wide-spot-in-the-road town with her most recent ex-husband and their young son for the holiday. The boys are planning to be here for our dinner, but when the power went out they decided to go on out there (about 45 minutes away) to see the mom, since dinner here may be a bit later than originally planned. I hope they have a safe trip and an enjoyable visit with S's family. (A pleasant visit is not a particularly likely outcome, though it is possible.)

I am thankful that the boys can go visit S's family.

C is grumpy and out-of-sorts today. It is grating on S's nerves. I asked C about it, and the basic problem is that he misses his mom. She now lives in Virginia, I think- anyway, very far away from here. This Thanksgiving is not going the way he really wants it to. All the cleaning and arranging and busyness here today is accompanied by some fussing and arguing, particularly between the younger two and everyone else. Typical. He's really irritated by all that. I'm glad they've left for now, and I hope C is in a better frame of mind when he gets back. I hope S is still in a good frame of mind when he gets back. When visiting his family, anything can happen.

OK, enough procrastinating. Time to get cooking.

P.S. Vuboq: In the holiday tradition as you posted yesterday, I am drinking towards a Traditional Thanksgiving Stupor™.