Well, this is unexpected

Things with Diva are working out much better than I feared. So far. It is hard to trust her for the long term. She's been here just over a week, and since about Tuesday has been pretty normal. She wanted to ride the school bus on Monday, and I didn't think that was a good idea. We argued. Superman and I discussed it and decided to give her enough rope to hang herself. It actually turned out fine. She's been riding the bus morning and afternoon, and so far all is well.

Sproing always rides to school with Superman. The school and Superman's place of business are only a few tenths of a mile from each other. Last week Superman drove Manny (my beloved pickup truck) which bugs Sproing. He's 13, thus very image conscious. Manny is a hunk of junk and an embarrassment to the child. It amuses me. Anyhoo, with Diva on the bus and Sproing in the car, it gives each of them some time away from each other.

The worst part of Diva's homecoming so far (one of two, actually) is the way the two children get along with each other. They don't. He's having a real hard time with her being here. He's spoiled, I admit. That's part of the problem, but there's a lot more to it. He has been the only child in the household for a year now. He's inherently jealous and selfish, probably more so than most normal adolescents. The two of them have a stormy history. Many of the misdeeds that sent her to the psychiatric residential treatment facility (RTF) either directly affected Sproing or included him as co-perpetrator. He has some pretty serious psychological/emotional problems, as does she, but the two are different. It has been a challenge.

The other bad thing about Diva being here is her nocturnal enuresis. Bedwetting. At 13 years old, by god! I don't know if she does it on purpose or not. I don't know what the problem is. Does she just not care? Sometimes it seems so. I asked her if she wet the bed at the RTF, and she said not very often. What did they do? They woke her up a couple of times a night for her to use the bathroom. "They" with their 24 hour staff. Well, shit. Or perhaps she has some physical problem, or it's tied to her emotional disabilities. I don't know. She's going to our family physician for a check-up tomorrow (Monday) morning, and I intend to ask him about it. It's probably time to take her to the urologist again. We did that when she was about 5 or 6 years old. At the time, the urologist found nothing physically amiss. We shall see.

In other news, last week was crazy. Light had the opening reception for her senior art exhibit last Sunday afternoon. She graduates in six days!!! with a bachelor of fine arts in studio art, and this exhibit is a really big deal and a major requirement for graduation. She invited the family: my dad and stepmom, my mom, Superman's mom and dad, and Superman's brother and his wife. That's who all showed up. My parents-in-law didn't get here until Sunday evening, and Superman took Monday off from work and took them to the gallery at Light's college. They missed the opening reception (thank the gods!!) but saw the exhibit. We of course had Sproing and Diva with us, which was uncomfortable but nothing tragic. My dad kept Sproing pretty busy and away from Diva. My dad and Sproing get along well.

I had final exams early in the previous week, which week culminated in Diva coming home and my dad and stepmom coming to town on Friday. Saturday Superman, Diva and I went to Light's college for an award ceremony in which Light was honored with an award for completing the honors program. There was a lot more to the ceremony, but that was the only interesting part, of course. :) Then Superman, Light, and a few of her friends worked their collective butts off setting up her show. We came back to Greenwood, only to turn around the next morning and go back, this time with Sproing in tow. When we came back home Sunday evening we had my Mama with us. She had stayed in college town for a few days before, to be with Light and all, then came home with us to visit for a few days. She was in South Carolina for a week, flying in and out on consecutive Thursdays.

My dad and stepmom, particularly my stepmom, were annoying and rude. Not the whole time, especially not when they were with me. But they spent a lot of the day Saturday at our house with Sproing while the rest of us were with Light. My house is an awful mess, I admit, and I have some issues that need to be addressed. My stepmom was judgmental and obnoxious about the house, from what I heard. She didn't say anything to me, which makes it worse in a way. C and N were here, of course, because they live here. She was extremely rude to them, ignoring them when she wasn't giving them contemptuous stares. C tried to be polite to her, but she shunned him. Ooooooo!!! It makes me mad!

I mentioned it to my Mama, and she said they didn't like it that C and N live here, and she agrees with them. WTF? In the first place, what business is it of yours so fuck off. I kept my tone civil and asked why they felt that way. Mama said that part of it has to do with them taking up space in the house, and we don't have room for our own children because they are here. Oh, give me a break. My two youngest children each have a bedroom, and my college student children share the bedroom with their same-sex sibling on the few occasions when they are home. It's crowded, but it works.

I'm not sure what their other objections are to C and N being here, and I don't really care. I had a talk with Mama about a few things on Monday night, after I had a mini-breakdown. Monday was hard for me, but the discussion was good. It cleared the air. Among other things, I told her about how important C and N are to me, particularly C. We've been a part of each other's lives for five years now, and are very close. He understands me in ways that my husband doesn't. (Of course, my husband understands me in many ways that C doesn't!) Likewise, I know him very well. We speak the same emotional language, or something like that. Hell, his mother kicked him to the street when he came out, and I took him in. We have had many long intense discussions about deep stuff. He and I are each other's friend-therapists. He's my best girlfriend. It's a complicated relationship and difficult to define.

Anyway, when I explained to Mama that he is a source of comfort and otherwise very important to me, she understood a little bit better and wasn't as negative. Either that or she was humoring me, and I don't care which. She was, however, very nice to C and N the rest of the time she was here. She actually likes C. He's a likable guy.

Speaking of C and N, they gave me a Mother's Day card today. It was one of two cards I received. Sproing's social worker took him out to buy me a card last week, and that was sweet. C and N got me a nice card and wrote some very touching things to me. It even made Superman tear up a bit. (He's a big softy, though, so that's not a stretch.) Of the things I got, that was the most meaningful.

The rest of the Mother's Day report: I got a call from Twitch this morning. He was nice, we talked a bit, it was a good conversation, and it was short. These are the best kinds of phone conversations to have with Twitch. He's difficult to understand over the phone. He's a good guy. He's 20 years old now, and though a bit slow with the growing-up stuff, he is making excellent progress. He's OK.

I got a text message from Light. That amuses me. This is her week of final exams. She has a major paper due Monday afternoon. I was in the same situation two weeks ago, and I know the stress. I saw her Thursday afternoon (went to see her after I took Mama to the airport), and in casual conversation she told me how much she loves and appreciates me. It was special. And it wasn't on a greeting card or said on one particular day, so that makes it more meaningful in my estimation. Obligatory greetings are less so.

Sproing said nothing. He did the Mother's Day thing last week, so he was good. That also amuses me. He's a good kid.

Diva went with her daddy to the store this noon and got me a baby doll. Sounds kind of silly, perhaps, but it is meaningful to me. I like baby dolls, and she knows that, remembered that, and had a desire to get me something she knows I like. All in all it's pretty significant coming from her. She's the one who used to target the things I like in order to destroy them and hurt me. (Notice I said "used to." I hope that's all in the past. This is my worry, the thing about her which I don't quite trust.)

Oh, and I called my Mama. I bought her a few little practical gifts when she was here, nothing particularly special, but it was something. She likes gifts. And I called her around 11:00, after Twitch called me. Yes, his call reminded me that I needed to call my mother. This evening Light called Superman and reminded him to call his mother. Amusing, perhaps. Don't tell our mothers! Back on topic: I was the first of the siblings to call Mama. My two brothers and I have a running competition to see who calls her first on special days, or otherwise does the best tribute to her. Her birthday was last month. My brother Mike visited her and took her to lunch. I sent flowers. He was with her when she received the flowers, so I looked pretty good. He, however, was there in the flesh, took her to lunch, and spent time with her. He won the Good Son award for her birthday. I called first today, so I win today. He's going to do a late Mother's Day thing with her in two weeks, though, which will be better than my first call. I have lots of fun with this. Mike and I are in the running for Good Child more often than Jim is. He's not much of a talker, likes to keep to himself especially when he is under stress. He's a really good man, and has a lot of stress in his life. We love him just the same.

Lordy it's late! It is good to get back here and blather on about what has happened in my life recently. Now that the rush is over I hope to be back more frequently, both posting here and reading my favorite blogs. Since school started in January I haven't had much time for that. I miss you all. But now I'm going to bed.