Happy Groundhog's Day
Did the rodent see his shadow? We've got flurries today, so I'm guessing our resident CT groundhog, whose name I never remember, isn't seeing his shadow and we've got six more weeks of winter on tap.
Surprised? No, me neither.
But that's not what I'm on about today. Today is about Valentine's Day.
I hate, loathe, despise Valentine's Day. Stupid, stupid day. People getting all worked up over not having someone. Or they get overly pseudohappy about the one they are with. Or being hyper over getting the "right" thing for/or from their "significant other" or spouse or whatever.
Gack!
Bah! Humbug!
I hate the colors red and pink. Stupid colors. I like greens and blues. Soft, soothing, mellow, comfy. Red is so harsh and bold and pink is just... well, icky. Reminds me of Pepto Bismol, which I need in massive quantities just to get through this phony romance season.
Stupid, stupid day. I Hate Valentine's Day.
Want to say I Love You? Then just fuckin' say it and spare me the fake schmaltz and fugly cards, okay?
Anyway...
The Ya Ya's are going out on Valentine's Day. I said I'll only go if I get to throw things, sharp and pointy things, at the Valentiners. The Ya Ya's think I have the wrong attitude about Valentine's Day -- I think it's the rest of the world with the wrong attitude, but, whatever. So, we're going to The Fat Cat Pie Company in SoNo. Google it. It looks like a fun place. I'll be the one throwing things at the snogging patrons.
I Hate Valentine's Day. I once had a guy tell me I was as romantic as athlete's foot. That's the nicest thing a guy's ever said to me.
No, not really. But I still like it.
4 comments:
HA HA CRAPPY!!
Oh these fake Hellmark Days drive me crazy too.
How ridiculous and blatantly commercial they all are.
Imagine believing that the only gauge that your relationship was 'normal' and functioning was for your partner to make a public display of affection once a year..isn't that Special!
Oh well because we live in such an artificial bubble completely foreign to our biological adaptations we should expect bizarre behavior.
The only natural instincts occurring on Valentine's Day are those of the participants who know that Gifts almost always (I said almost) = sexual activity.
Speaking of which I found a great post on Orgasms from a link at my new Blog...
http://realitymethod.wordpress.com/2007/02/01/the-scientific-purpose-of-the-female-orgasm/
..sort of takes all the mystery out of life but what are ya gonna do. I have tried to expand on this before but this is much clearer and easier to understand.
“Women only cum with guys they really love, right? The purpose of their orgasm is to make them feel attached to their bestest lover, releasing all those warm and fuzzy feelings and bathing both lovers in a blanket of blissful ecstasy!”
Laughed my ass off at that one!
Still chuckling...
What were we on about? Oh, right...
"the female orgasm is above all a mental event that can be linked to and triggered by stimulation of virtually any part of the body."
Um. Hm. No. Well, not just any old part of this body at any rate. Let's not go there.
"In layman’s terms, this means that the longer it’s been since a woman has had sex, the more sperm she will retain if she orgasms.
It also means that female masturbation reduces sperm retention. "
This makes sense. Though I wouldn't use masturbation as contraception. Fun as that might be. Maybe that's what the Church originally meant by the rhythm method?? Hm. Doubt it. They're not much into fun.
"The typical woman’s pattern of infidelity and orgasm is exactly what you would expect to find if she were unconsciously trying to get pregnant from a lover while not leaving her husband."
Could it be the way women ensure the viability of the gene pool? Oh, someone else pointed that out :D
Anyway... Cool article, thanks for linking it. Making a big deal out of the big O has never made a lot of sense to me. If it happens - WooHoo! - if not, unless the sex was really bad, I'm still a happy camper.
I laughed out loud reading this because I am soooo behind you on this. It is a ridiculous "holiday". Glad I read it before I sent you the round trip tickets to the Bahamas. Whew!
I'm glad I made you laugh Trapped :) Go ahead with the tickets to the Bahamas - just don't make it for Valentine's Day!
Exactly Grumblefish - don't let the marketing weavils dictate when and how you go about spreading the love :)
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