Shocking and Sexy Ad Mat Attack!

Sometimes there is truth in advertising. When I first discovered the Asia I love, I could not have described it more aptly than the copy above. With the advent of the internet, Asia's exotic cultural treasures have become even more apparent.

I first encountered Shocking Asia when I was a night dubber of VHS videos in the mid-80's. Our biggest client was K-Tel Video, and, oh boy!, did K-Tel have some fan-tastic titles.

The moment I looked up from my tape checking and saw a wrestling dwarf sliding across a canvas on his forehead, I was hooked on this goodness. The film also featured a visit to a Japanese sex museum, victims of leprosy (a favorite disease of Mondo filmmakers), a sex change operation, and the piercings and stabbings of sacred flesh.

To make matters even juicier, the Shocking Asia score is bombastic and catchy, a rousing celebration of all that is weird and wonderful in our world.

Absolutely one of my favorite Mondo movies, and if you want to see even more of the same, pick up Shocking Asia 2. Both have just been released (together) in Australia on DVD.


Although titled Zombie in the U.S., it was titled Zombie Flesh Eaters in Australia, New Zealand, and the UK. Was that because zombies were less understood outside North America?

"What in the blazers is this Zombie flick about, mate?" went the conversation (perhaps).

"Got me buggered, mate. Wouldn't know."

"Then take a look at it, ya bludger. We're releasing it next week."

One day later:

"So, mate, did ya get a chance to take a gander at that Zombie picture?"

"Yeah, mate, I did. Not bad. Not bad at all."

"What was it about, mate?"

"Well, mate, these zombies eat human flesh. One even eats a bloody shark."

"Strewth! A shark?! Ya fuckin' kiddin'?!"

"No, mate. Takes a big bloody bite out of it while some bird's swimmin' around starkers."

"Fuck me drunk! Sounds like a bloody good show."

"Too right, mate. They'll be chunderin' in the aisles with this one."

"But we can't just call it Zombie."

"The Yanks called it that."

"Yeah, but the Septics are into that weird shit."

"So what are we gonna call it?"

"Fucked if I know."

"You can't call it that, Cobber."

"Shut up! Alright. How about we call it Zombie Flesh Eaters?"

"What for?"

"Because that's what they do, isn't it, dickhead?"

"Yeah."

"Then that's what we'll call it. We don't want punters getting confused."

"I suppose you're right."

"Of course I'm fuckin' right. I'm the boss!"

Employee looks defeated.

Boss nudges him.

"Hey, why the long face?"

"I don't know. I was gonna suggest Jaws 4 -- Zombie Casserole"

Boss thinks for a moment, then looks at Employee:

"You idiot."

They retire to the pub for a beer.

***

It was a masterful stroke adding Island of the Fishmen to the drive-in bill (I raved about this like a lunatic in a previous blog).

This is how I saw Zombie for the first time. Unfortunately, it was cut to smithereens, but that didn't stop me loving every magical minute of it, including, of course, the opening with the fat zombie (who, by the way, is interviewed on one of the special edition DVD's), and a cut version of the eye splintering.

Censorship of horror films in Australia was at plague levels in the 70's and 80's.

Even now, the government is trying to enact a Draconian censorship regime of "forbidden" internet sites.

Great film, average poster.

An odd Aussie film that attempted to capitalize on the success of War Games.

Draping a woman across a computer console seemed like a good idea at the time, I guess, because Michael Crichton's Looker did it.

Ultimately, rather undercooked genre piece, and would have been better if it borrowed from Demon Seed instead.

Mary Higgins Clark's effective suspense novel was reduced to cliches by Sean Cunningham. Not a terrible film, but not particularly successful, either, in achieving its goals. Rip Torn, however, is good as the killer, and the subterranean setting is atmospheric.

The Fan was based on a novel I liked of the same name. The film is boring.

Director/Producer Arthur Davis was an international sales agent who bought and sold films in Asia.

Nice to see Riz Ortolani getting first credit on the poster.

As many will remember, Riz composed the score for Mondo Cane, the film that kick-started the Mondo genre, and grandfathered Reality TV.

Movie Ad Mat Mania

Classic Aussie ad mat of a classic Aussie film.

I find The Adventures of Barry McKenzie ('72) to be one of the funniest and most iconic Australian films ever made.

From director Bruce ('Tender Mercies', 'Driving Miss Daisy', 'Don's Party', 'Black Robe') Beresford.

In Australia, "chunder" is vomit; and "Full (As A Boot)" means drunk.

What a time of amazing cinematic diversity was the 70's -- Bergman, Eastwood, Metzger, Nicholas Roeg, Donald Cammell, Walter Hill (the script for The Thief Who Came to Dinner), Bruce Lee, and the inimitable Salvatore Samperi ('Malizia')

Not a striking Martin ad mat, but certainly a great movie.

The great Ken Russell had a sweet run in the 70's with The Devil's ('71), the amazing Savage Messiah ('72), The Music Lovers ('70), and The Boyfriend (also '71).

I pestered and pestered my mother to take me to see The Devil's.

Wasn't going to happen in our Catholic household.

The film is still unreleased on DVD in most countries, which is cinematic sacrilege.

Saw the indefatigable McQueen in The Getaway years after its R-rated Melbourne release.

It still stands tall.

The gritty teen drama Over The Edge ('79) was released around the same time as The Warriors, The Wanderers, and Boulevard Nights. Director Jonathan Kaplan also made the winning Heart Like A Wheel ('83). He eventually turned to TV.

Ralph Bakshi broke a lot of new ground through the 60's and into 70's.

After his first feature, Fritz The Cat ('72), which turned American animation upside down, he followed through with Heavy Traffic ('73) and the amazing Coonskin ('75).

Wizards ('77) was his first shot at lengthy fantasy, and just beat Star Wars into theaters.

I saw this double at Village's East End 2. I enjoyed Bakshi's film a lot, but was bummed out by Fox's last 70's Ape film.

Shockingly cut version of the John Holmes film of '71.

The support, Bloody Virgin, was, in fact Jose Larraz's Symptoms ('74).

The Club Cinema, which was tucked into a swank Melbourne arcade, was the preferred destination for more sophisticated erotica for some time.

Excellent and bizarre Elliot Gould film paired with Larry Cohen's flawed but equally bizarre horror pic, also titled God Told Me To.

Director Bruno Gantillon, the director of the fascinating Servant and Mistress ('77), also made Morgane et ses nymphes (Girl Slaves of Morgana Le Fay, '71), a sexy little French flick that Jean Rollin would not have been uncomfortable with.

I still love this crazy film. Like the book it was based on, it was massive success back in 1970.

The score by Peter Thomas, which is available on LP, is terrific.

Much food for thought. Made with passion and conviction.

Melbourne's Golden Age of Hong Kong Movie Ads 2

John Woo's Once A Thief ('96) did three weeks at Melbourne's Chinatown Cinema.

I got into its more light-hearted tone, even though I prefer Woo's heavier pics like Bullet in the Head and Just Heroes.

Nonsensical sequel -- not that the original made a terrible lot of sense! Still, the original was far more erotic.

The excellent Queen of Temple Street ('90), a serious-minded look at prostitution in Hong Kong, did zero business in Melbourne.

Armor of God 2 - Operation Condor ('91) was notorious for going way over budget.

I walked out of the cinema extremely bored and disappointed. While overshooting and overspending, director Chan (Jackie) lost sight of plot, pacing, and logic. Even the action was a letdown.

Wong Kar Wai's second feature, Days of Being Wild ('90), bored me to tears. As Tears Go By ('88) was his first effort. I didn't like that, either.

Sibelle Hu and Moon Lee visited the Chinatown for the premier Melbourne screening of Bury Me High ('91), a very ambitious, inconsistent actioner. They were very friendly and eager to answer the craziest audience questions such as "What are your favorite stockings?" and (to Moon): "Do you have a boyfriend, and do you kick him during arguments?"

"I'm too busy for boys," was Moon's answer.

Shot by Peter Pau (A Fishy Story, The Killer, Bride of Chucky, The Bride With White Hair), the film is set in an imaginery country where Vietnamese is often spoken and seen.

Dreary sequel.

Movie Ad Mat Explosion

I was there, at Hoyts Burwood Drive-in, to see this double.

It was my virgin screening of Argento's flick and I sure had a great time. Will always remember the underwater cavern sequence (directed and shot by Bava, some scribes say).

Richard Pearce's Heartland ('79) featured an amazing Rip Torn performance. A prairie survival tale with a rich script, it bowled me over with its subtlety (which sounds like a contradiction, doesn't it?)

Pearce also directed the searing medical drama Threshold ('81), with Donald Sutherland, and the Richards Gere actioner No Mercy ('86). Country ('84) is another of his achievements.

Melbourne's The 69 Adult Cinema was a rebadged commercial venue.

I suspect Pro Ball Hookers was a retitling of the '79 Jack Mathew's Pro Ball Cheerleaders with Candida Royalle, Lisa de Leeuw, Suzanna Nero, and Jennifer West. Since cheerleading, a very American tradition, is foreign to Aussie audiences, the change is understandable.

Was the producer (Mathews also) arrested? I can't find any evidence of that.

Pro Ball Cheerleaders was a Debbie Does Dallas clone, only it was much better.

Very worthwhile triple that I begged and pleaded with my parents to see.

I came off worse than a biker's moll.

I've always been partial to Frank Laloggia's Fear No Evil ('81), one of the artier horror flicks of the period.

But let's be frank about Final Exam ('81 also), a slasher (?) I actually saw at a Detroit cinema (the Showcase Sterling Heights). It is an appalling piece of excruciatingly boring fecal matter.

It boggled my mind recently reading new reviews of the film after it was released on DVD. Some pundits actually founds merit in it. Trouble was, their arguments held no water. It's easily one of the worst films ever made. Just because a film is out on DVD doesn't mean it's good.

I lined up for the first session of this film at the Adams in downtown Detroit. The cinema's vibe was scarier than the movie.

The book is so much better, but it (the film) is not terrible.

Another classic Adams screening for me. During the "Piss your pants!" sequence in Last House, a semi-drunk guy got up and pissed in the corner beside the screen. The smell began wafting through the musky darkness five minutes later. You never forget fun times like that.

An early example of PG-13 horror before PG-13 existed. Very light-on horror flick with almost no violence.

I enjoyed the first Penitentiary almost thirty years ago, but I saw it again recently and thought Leon Isaac Kennedy's appalling performance murdered every dramatic moment.

I drove down to the Adams to see Slammer actually, a Bruce Davison film, directed by Robert Young, originally titled Short Eyes ('77). In prison, "short eyes" used to be a term for "child molester".

Davison is thrown in the clink for a crime against a child, but he's determined to prove his innocence.

Based on a play by Miguel Pinero, who spent time in prison. The film did well upon its release and is well worth catching today.

This ad mat for Downstairs Upstairs, a parody of the British Upstairs Downstairs TV show, does not distinguish it from its mostly shoddy ilk. The film was a terrific XXX'er with a great Kay Parker performance and an authentic plot. Some bizarre sexuality, too, with a half-pinter.

One of my favorite comedies of all time.

Bill Forsythe followed up with Local Hero, Comfort and Joy, and Housekeeping, his first American outing (and a disappointment).

His first film was That Sinking Feeling with Robert Buchanan, the actor who played 'Andy' in Gregory's Girl. It was/still is a classic.

I find both films to be models of understatement and comedy so unforced, it makes one of the hardest things to do in the world (make people laugh) look like a cinch.

A poor sequel, Gregory's Two Girls, appeared in '99.

Saw Xtro and Tony Scott's debut feature, The Hunger, on the same afternoon in Detroit.

I liked The Hunger much more, but I respected the crazy audacity of Xtro. The scene in which the woman gives birth to an adult male deserves mention. The woman deserved a month of rest and stitches.

Fantastic screenplay adaptation of his own play by Howard Pinter.

Betrayal tells the shattering story of a marital break-up in reverse.

It's a superb drama.

Jeremy Irons and Ben Kingsley are in top form.

The decision to tell the tale in reverse adds such tragic weight to every scene.