Oddly enough, I love this!

Today, Spouse looks at me for a moment at the breakfast table and says, "You look pretty today. Wait, that's not the right word.... You look ass-kicking."

Breaking News

3 hours is too long for a child's birthday party. I'm just saying.

Bonus Conversation: on the drive home from the grocery store today.

DQ: "Where do trees come from? Do they have seeds?"
Quinn: "Yes. Acorns are tree seeds, and when the fall to the ground, they can grow new trees."
DQ: "But where did the first tree come from? From God?"
Quinn: "I don't know."
WB: "There is no God."
DQ: "Yes there is."
WB: "There is no God!"
DQ: "Yes there is!"
WB: "THERE IS NO GOD!"
DQ: "YES THERE IS!"

It's on like Donkey Kong

Peyton Manning AND Oreos? I'm so there.

This makes the holidays for me...

My child is a Monty Python Skit

The Scene: Wild Boy and I are getting ready for bed. He keeps refusing to admit that it is nighttime or that it is bedtime or that I will be leaving his room shortly.

Me: "I'm going now."
WB: "No, you're not."
Me: "Yes, I am."
WB: "No, you're not."
Me: "[WB], don't contradict me."
WB: "I'm not contradicting you."
Me (mustering patience and failing): "When you say the opposite of what I'm saying, you're contradicting me."
WB: "No, I'm not."

It's been a while...

But the greatest thing about fall is back: Peyton Manning commercials.

Occupational Hazard

I really don't give a crap about Ancient Rome. There. I've said it.

You Might Think

So, yeah, I needed a little cheering up after the Anne of Green Gables: The New Butchering rant. And I found my bliss:



Three cheers for YouTube mash-ups!

Why Kevin Sullivan must be locked up

He's coming out with a new Anne of Green Gables movie. Ok, so for those of you not in the know, this is the guy who did the wonderful Megan Follows version in the 1980s. The one that got me hooked when it was on PBS lo these many years ago.

And then he did a pretty lovely sequel a couple of years later. Sure, it deviated from the books, but it stayed true to the heart of the story and to the characters. So I was cool with it. (Even spent a relaxing few evenings at Julie's place watching it in her adjacent recliners, while eating flavored popcorn and hearing her dad say, "I know this is a chick movie and everything, but I really like it." So true.)

So, circa 1987, all is right in the world. Then, in 2000, Mr. Sullivan figures (I suppose) that he needs more money. So he decides to do a WWI epic with Anne. Great, I think! L.M. Montgomery's final Anne books talks about that very thing, seeing the war through the eyes of Anne's 14 year old daughter, Rilla. Would make a good film, I say.

Not so. Sullivan instead COMPLETELY messes with the timeframe, making Gilbert (oh, my beloved Gilbert!) go off to war and Anne, in a leap so far out of character I couldn't even fathom it, hunts all over France to find him and bring him home. Um, no. I watched it, but it was painful. And there was much grousing from the peanut gallery (K-lyn and the aforementioned Julie.)

And just when you think it couldn't get much worse, you ain't seen nothing yet: Sullivan is now in post-production (meaning: this travesty is already filmed) of ANOTHER "Anne of Green Gables" film, this time... oh, hell. My words won't do justice. Here's the plotpoints:

• Gilbert's been killed overseas in World War II (HUH??? He'd be at least 75 when the war breaks out, in my estimation) so Anne returns in her head to the past to make peace with herself.
  
• Anne was evidently mistaken (or lying?) about her parents, and her birth father was in fact alive??? (Um, she visited his damn grave in the books.)
  
• She's played by Barbara Hershey, who is not a Canadian and is definitely not very Anne-ish.

In the ensuing emails between our little gang of Anne devotees, I offered, "as a Professional Historian (TM)," to write to Sullivan and mention the timeline problems. K suggested that I should expect a response along these lines:

Dear Professional Historian (TM),

Thank you so much for calling this to our attention. We were all smoking crack and have since sobered up enough to realize how right you are. To compensate you please accept this all expense paid trip for four to PEI to experience Anne's world and the works of LM Montgomery in a way that we can't mess up.

Sincerely,

Stupid Idiots with No Brains to Speak Of


J and K will of course accompany me on the trip. Final guest to be determined (maybe Julie's dad!)

Some sort of post commemorating Neel's Birthday

I put this (with title) as a placeholder post on the 10th, when I sent dear friend PW her birthday greetings... her birthday's the 11th, but she understandably chooses to celebrate early or late.

And so now it is nearly the 13th, which is the birthday of another dear friend, of the same vintage as PW. We don't get to see him enough, but he might be the only person out there who could entice me to go to Vegas!

Happy birthday, Neel. May the force be with you!

Flippity Floppity

Spouse, observing tonight's bath: "What are you doing with your peanut?"

WB, holding himself: "I'm making it go flippity floppity to see if any yellow water will come out."

The Great Debate

So, I'm not watching the RNC. It angers up the blood a bit too much. But my mailbox had all sorts of info on it today, and then there was this:

Baskin Robbins has a contest where you can vote for your preferred new ice cream flavor: Straight Talk Crunch or Whirl of Change. I guess I should thank my lucky stars that it wasn't Chocolate vs. Vanilla.


By the way, I will ALWAYS pick Chocolate in that matchup. Just like I prefer dark meat at Thanksgiving. Big surprise.

I Found It

Thanks to all the commenters who suggested things to make me smile. I found something just right:



Michael Palin brings SexyBack!

A Terrible Horrible No-Good, Very Bad Day

I'm in need of a pick-me-up. Anybody out there got a priceless YouTube or internet gem they want to share with me? I'll start the ball rolling with something Nate sent me last week: The Top 11 Naughtiest Moments in Animaniacs.

Happy Days Are Here Again

Anybody got the summertime blues? Anybody need a little pick me up? I give you the solution to the world's ills: Neil Patrick Harris.





And while they don't allow embedding, check out his appearance as the shoe fairy on Sesame Street.

I mean, seriously, how can you be sad when this man exists? Even when he's not riding a unicorn, he is awesome. Despite his lack of interest in me or my kind, he's fast making his way toward the laminated list. He has definitely earned himself a "lusty wench" tag.

h/t APL for the Sesame Street link

Random Bullets of Olympic Dreams

I'm in love. Not with Tunisian distance swimmer Oussama Mellouli as I briefly considered, but with a member of the women's US indoor volleyball team: Ogonna Nnamani. Stanford Grad in bio and chemistry, taking some time off before med school to spike it down your throat!!! She's wicked awesome.

My son wants to be Michael Phelps, but doesn't want to stick his face in the water.

On Friday night, chatting with the always intriguing Sco4tt (the 4 is silent), he told me his favorite sport was Modern Pentathlon. Invented by Coubertin (father of the modern games and topic of a previous post, who was most concerned in the aftermath of the Franco-Prussian War with France's, um, military shortcomings) this sport was to combine elements essential to a Frenchman's military success: pistol shooting, epee fencing, swimming, riding (equestrian show jumping) and cross-country running. I suggested adding in "faking a German accent."

Also from Friday night's convo, plus an email from the Divine Miss M: Ian Thorpe, Michael Phelps, or Matt Biondi?

We've found the ultimate sport my kids enjoy: Steelpechase. Run, jump over hurdle into puddle. Repeat.

What the hell is wrong with NBC's gymnastics coverage?

Well, I'll tell you:

1. Tim Daggett is being an ass. Not that I want someone who doesn't recognize the errors in a routine, but the man is just mean-spirited. It would help if he actually explained the differences between various difficulties of routines, instead of saying stuff like, "Well, that's not going to be good enough."

2. He needs a spoiler alert. Last night during the women's team competition, they cut away for some swimming, which is totally fine. When we came back, the guy says something like, "When we left China was up by a point. But at the balance beam, it all started going horribly wrong. Let's see what happened." Um, I think I can guess that someone fell off. Probably would have been more exciting if they had just showed the routine rather than giving it away.

3. I don't see why the US women should be so horrified with getting silver. The Chinese were a formidable team on their home turf with the home crowd. The US was injured. So why are the commentators acting like a building just fell on them? (This gets to the heart of what is wrong with the Olympics: jingoism and entitlement. The idea that America should win EVERYTHING. I much prefer Morgan Freeman's VISA commercial which states that we cheer for people not because of the country they come from, but because we are human and they are human. Damn right, Morgan!)

4. Do we really not need to see anything from the other teams? Was there no other performance that was particularly gripping and worthy of our attention? Instead, we get to see the Chinese and US warm up, get to see them chalk their hands, get to see them stand around and wait for scores. Get to see them march from apparatus to apparatus. C'mon: a vault takes 12 seconds. Show us a couple of those while we're waiting. Romania won the bronze. We saw a grand total of 1 of their performances.

On the other side: what is right?

Raj Bhavsar. I loves me some Indian Americans!

Foot Fetishes, TAs, and Animaniacs

There are whole websites out there dedicated to the wisdom of Colin, aka, the Randy Beaman Kid. And this particular bit of storytelling is out of the 1993 Time Capsule and back in my life, because DQ and WB are watching "Animaniacs" on DVD. That is teh Awesome!

What's this got to do with TAs? I'll get to that next time. For now, I'm just living in the past and loving it. Goddess Bless Netflix!

Uganda's Circumcision Song

Flyboy sent me this, which is tremendous. A song to encourage men in Uganda to get circumcized to help deter the spread of HIV. It's got a good beat and you can dance to it.

Thanks, Flyboy!

Know Your Limits

"Beethoven couldn't play clarinet for butt!" -- professional musician/skinny-legged Indian pre-med kid Nodden.