DVD pick of the week: "Red"

Many movies (you could easily say too many) are developed from graphic novels, but very few of those manage to retain the feel and appeal of comic books once they reach the big screen.

In the past year, there have been only two that accomplished this feat, "Kick-Ass" and "Red," the latter of which hits DVD shelves this week. Add to that the fact that the stars of "Red" are on average way more than old enough to be members of AARP, and you've got a truly odd mix that somehow still worked very well.

In fact, "Red" gets better and better as its stars get older. As the movie opens we find Bruce Willis as a recently retired CIA agent who, out of sheer boredom, throws out his pension checks just so he can call the pension office in Kansas City and flirt with the operator, who, in the movie's first bit of sheer lunacy, just happens to Mary Louise Parker. After he finds himself the target of assassins, he realizes his former employers would have tapped his phone, and so he goes to Kansas City to rescue (well, sort of kidnap) Parker's character.

Sounds like just about exactly the kind of forgettable "comedy" that gets released in theaters this time of year, right? Well, it felt that way at this point and probably would have been, but once Willis' Frank Grimes contacts his mentor, played by Morgan Freeman, it really gets to be nothing but fun from there on out, and more and more as it goes along. Throw in John Malkovich, the always great and underrated Brian Cox and, best of all, Dame Helen Mirren, and you've got sort of "The Expendables" on Geritol, and this group has more goofy energy in the first few minutes they're on screen than Sylvester Stallone's gang did in that entire movie.

To describe the plot of "Red" on paper really doesn't do it justice, since like with the best comic book movies, it really doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Let's just say that Willis and his fellow former agents have all been targeted for assassination for some reason by the government that used to employ them, so they of course join forces to take their revenge.

This material would indeed be entirely familiar and more than a bit tired if it weren't for its stars, who rather than make this simply a novelty act due to their ages, instead turn it into a genuine romp, albeit one often filled with the very definition of "cartoon violence." Malkovich is as crazy as he's ever been, which is saying a lot, and funnier than he's been in years, but the real stars here are Mirren and Cox.

There's just something uniquely appealing about seeing Dame Helen Mirren wielding a sniper rifle in a ball gown, but she also brings enough range to the role to make this at times a sly commentary on aging and retirement. After all, when you've been a hit man (or woman) all your professional life, what are you supposed to do in retirement? Cox is her perfect match as the Russian operative who just happened to be a former and still smoldering flame.

What makes a great comic book movie? It's hard to describe, but it's mostly in the movie's rhythm and feel, and like "Kick-Ass" and "Red," for me at least, it has to deal with fairly dark subjects with a good bit of slyly wicked humor. If that's your kind of thing, too, you can do a whole lot worse than renting "Red" this weekend.

One further note: Stieg Larsson's great Lisbeth Salander trilogy also comes to a close on DVD this week with the release of "The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest," which wasn't my DVD pick of the week only because I haven't seen it. This is, rather amazingly, available streaming already on Netflix, so it's sitting at the top of my queue to be watched this weekend. Peace out.

What will Wes Anderson's next movie look like?

I guess it shouldn't be too much of a surprise that with Wes Anderson about to get busy on a new movie, there are plenty of stars ready to sign up for it. And in even better news, unlike the disastrous "Darjeeling Limited," it seems like this one might even have a proper story behind it.

Anderson is expected to start shooting his next film, "Moonrise Kingdom," in the spring, and he's apparently in negotiations with regular partner in crime and funniest man alive Bill Murray, plus Frances McDormand, Edward Norton, Tilda Swinton and even Bruce Willis.

And even though he's again working with co-writer Roman Coppola, who was with him for "Darjeeling Limited" (sorry to keep bringing it up, but I really hated that movie), it indeed sounds like this flick will have something actually going on in it.

In a story set in the late 1960s, two young adults fall in love and run away, and leaders in their New England town go in search of them. Norton will play a scout leader who brings his charges on a search. Willis is in talks to play the town sheriff who’s also looking, and who is having an affair with the missing girl’s mother, the role McDormand is in talks to play. Murray will play the girl’s father, who has his own issues.

Oooohh, drama. Since Anderson has managed to make four movies I have nothing but love for with "Bottle Rocket," "Rushmore," "The Royal Tenenbaums" and "Fantastic Mr. Fox" (and also two real duds, but enough about that), I'll definitely be keeping track of this one, so stay tuned for more on this soon.

A fairly short report today because, after all, I am on vacation (but, of course, watching movies, since I'm at the Rehoboth Beach Independent Film Festival.) The only other real bit of news before a couple of clips today is something that just makes me giddy: The Muppets movie taking shape painfully slowly is finally starting to line up some seriously funny people.

Along with writing the movie, Jason Segel, of course, gets to cast himself as the main human in this operation, and it's already been announced that he'll be joined by Amy Adams, as his girlfriend (rough gig for Segel, eh?), and Chris Cooper as the big bad, an oil man who wants to drill below the Muppets' theater. But now surrounding them is when things are starting to get really good.

Lady Gaga will make an appearance (why not?), and her entourage will be made up of veryfunnyguys Ed Helms, John Krasinski and Eric Overstreet (a recent Emmy winner, and deservedly so, for "Modern Family"). Also in the mix will be Jack Black, Paul Rudd and "Community" uberfunnyman Donald Glover in unspecified roles, Jane Lynch as a prison guard and Danny Trejo as her prisoner (why a prison guard would have a personal prisoner I don't know, but anything can happen with the Muppets!), and Zach Galifianakis as Hobo Joe.

Whew. Is that enough funny for you? The flick, being directed by James Bobin of "Flight of the Conchords," isn't set to come out until two Christmases from now, but you can already count me as thoroughly psyched for this.

OK, that's all the real news I have today, so here are couple of clips to wrap things up. First up comes the first trailer I've seen for "Barney's Version," based on the comic novel by Mordechai Richler and, thankfully, starring Paul Giamatti. The story is about the life of the titular Barney, or at least his version of it, which includes three wives, two continents and any number of possibly true adventures. It's probably much better than I'm making it sound here. Enjoy the trailer and keep an eye out for this in at least some corners of the world Jan. 14.

And I'll leave you today with the trailer for a magical movie I saw last night here in Rehoboth, a 2009 Indian movie titled "Harishchandrachi Factory." Directed by Paresh Mokashi, it's a humorous look at the life of impossible dreamer Dabasaheb Phalke who, in 1913, made "Raja Harishchandra," thus launching India's feature film industry. It really is a movie made for people who love movies, and though I have no idea if it's coming to DVD in the Western world any time soon, definitely see it if you get a chance. Unfortunately, this trailer was the only one I could find that has the English subtitles, but it also has a truly unfortunate voiceover. It still gives you an idea of the spirit of this great movie, so enjoy the clip, and have a great weekend (and if you happen to live in Macon, of course, please go see the Macon Film Guild's presentation of my favorite flick of 2010, "Winter's Bone," Sunday at 2, 4:30 and 7:30 p.m. at the Douglass Theatre.) Peace out.

The only movie I've walked out of (well, sort of) in ... well, it seems like forever

Before I get into any of that today, there's some rather amazing news about Luc Besson out there today, especially since the man very rarely bothers to direct movies these days that ever see their way into American movie theaters.

Even so, I'm sure just about everyone remembers the weird, wild and mostly wonderful "The Fifth Element." Sure, there are better sci-fi movies, but there aren't many that are more fun.

So, it's rather amazingly good news, courtesy of the froggy site Fantasy.fr, that Besson has been quietly plotting a return to that kind of big sci-fi epic. He told Europe 1 he's currently designing the creatures for a flick he would shoot in 2012 or 2013 for release in 2013 or 2014 (a ways out, I know, but since the man rarely deigns to step behind the camera any more, I guess we shouldn't be surprised.) Here's a bit more of what he had to say about it to Europe 1:

"When I did 'The Fifth Element,' I already had the technological tools that were a little outdated. With the advent of digital technology, it is amazing what you can do. The technique has caught the imagination. One can imagine anything, there will always be technicians to follow you in your delusion."

This could, of course, all fizzle out, but it sounds like nothing but cool so far, so stay tuned.

OK, after that today, I'm rarely in the business of telling people to not go see movies, but I'm gonna come fairly close today. I usually like to let people make up their own minds on just about anything, but I had a viewing experience the other day that just left my brain scarred, and unfortunately I'm still thinking about it five days later.

Allow me to explain. Though I still don't own a cell phone (and never will), I decided to update my viewing to at least the late 20th century by buying a flat TV that doesn't weigh 100 pounds and a blu-ray disc player. It's been great discovering this "new" technology (at least to a Luddite like me), and especially enjoying the Netflix watch instantly content streamed onto my TV (just watched the first season of "Veronica Mars" again, and indeed, TV just doesn't get much better than that.)

And last Saturday, I finally decided I should at least rent a blu-ray disc to see what all this picture quality was about. After a quick trip to the Redbox, I was rather happy to be coming home with Michael Winterbottom's "The Killer Inside Me," which I had wanted to see for a long time now.

Well, I never thought I would ever be a prude when it comes to movie violence, and I still really don't think I am, but be warned if you haven't seen it: This movie is thoroughly disgusting, and I couldn't bring myself to watch enough of it to find out if it eventually has any redeeming value.

I don't want to spoil too much of this in case anyone out there hasn't seen this and still wants to, but I'll tell you exactly how far I made it into Winterbottom's movie starring Casey Affleck, Jessica Alba and Kate Hudson. About 15 minutes in or so, there's a scene in which Affleck's character, a small-town sheriff of some sort, slowly and methodically beats to death a prostitute he's taken up with, played by Alba.

Now, I suppose there's some merit in the realism of this shot, but it nearly made me vomit, and frankly just kind of left me dazed. I made it through a few more minutes of the movie, which indeed looked amazing, before I had to just turn it off, the first time in as long as I can remember that I started a movie and simply couldn't finish it (hence the walked out of ... sort of, since I didn't actually walk out of my own house.)

I normally love Winterbottom's movies, in particular "24-Hour Party People" and "Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story," and one of the things I respect about him as a filmmaker is that he dives into all kinds of genres, so I'll definitely come back to him, but this was one time that I simply couldn't take it.

Please, if you've seen this movie, do let me know if it gets any better, because I really can't imagine any scenario in which I'll be able to bring myself to try and watch it again.

OK, after that rather rambling diatribe, all I have left today is a quartet or so of videos, and they're all pretty good. First up comes, finally, a promo for Conan O'Brien's new TBS show, premiering (I believe) Nov. 8, that fits his comedic skills. Those "Missing You" promos we're OK, but this one, complete with a car filled with "illegal fireworks from New Hampshire" and unpopped popcorn, is much, much better. Enjoy, and certainly tune in for whatever Conan's got cooked up when he finally returns to late night.



I definitely plan to go see "Red" this weekend, because from what I've read and seen so far it seems to be nothing but a big ball of goofy fun. There's plenty of viral marketing out there for the flick starring Bruce Willis, Dame Helen Mirren, John Malkovich, Mary Louse Parker and others, but surely none of it as funny as this latest installment of Zach Galifianakis' "Between Two Ferns" bits, this time with Willis. As usual, the interview flames out rather spectacularly, but not before Galifianakis manages to get in some choice zingers such as "Were you ever afraid 'The Whole Ten Yards' might be too good"? Enjoy the clip.

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Bruce Willis from Bruce Willis

Is it me, or does just about every new show outside of HBO's "Boardwalk Empire" and FX's "Terriers" just kind of suck this year? The only other one I've tuned in for so far is "Raising Hope" on Fox, with the recommendation of a co-worker, and that's kind of amusing, but otherwise, not a single show has managed to capture my attention. Am I missing anything good? I really doubt it, but please let me know if so. Thankfully, with one of my favorite shows from last year returning early (in February), relief is in sight. The first season of FX's "Justified," starring "Deadwood" lawman Timothy Oliphant, got off to a slow start, but eventually developed into a nearly first-rate drama. The finale was fantastic, so I can't wait to see where it picks up for take two. Enjoy the trailer for the show's return.



And finally today, I can't imagine I'll ever get to see this movie in any kind of theater, but I love Serge Gainsbourg, so I'll definitely watch it on my spiffy new blu-ray player someday. The rather long clip below is the only trailer I know of for the documentary about the late French pop star by Pascal Forneri. The title, "Gainsbourg, l'homme qui aimait les femmes" ("Gainsbourg, the man who loved women"), is certainly appropriate for the man who somehow romanced Brigitte Bardot, Jane Birkin and many other beautiful women, and thankfully, also fathered the great Charlotte Gainsbourg, a definite reel fanatic fave. Enjoy the trailer, and have a perfectly pleasant Thursday. Peace out.


Gainsbourg, l'homme qui aimait les femmes : la bande annonce
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Oh, the horror

Really, how hard of a sell could a smart sci-fi movie directed by Alfonso Cuaron be? I'd certainly buy a ticket, especially since his take on "Children of Men" was my second-favorite movie of 2006 (second only to Guillermo del Toro's sublime "Pan's Labyrinth").

His "Gravity," however, has had a heck of a time even getting off the ground. Though Robert Downey Jr. is still solidly attached in a supporting role, the lead role has already been turned down by Angelina Jolie, but now it looks like there might be a new candidate (and a clear case of trading up in my book.)

Natalie Portman, who stars in Darren Aronofsky's "Black Swan" this fall, has been offered the role, and is now reading the script, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

So, what's the movie about? Co-written by Alfonso and Jonas Cuaron, the 3D (I guess I should just accept it by now) survival story is about a woman (Portman, if she wants it) stranded on a space station after satellite debris slams into it and wipes out the rest of the crew. Sounds great to me, so here's hoping this actually gets going sometime soon.

OK, after that today it's all about horror and humor (at least until the clips), two things that, when done right, just go so well together.

And one recent movie that got the mix just about perfect was "Zombieland." The director of that flick, Ruben Fleischer, is now shooting "30 Minutes or Less" with Danny McBride, Aziz Ansari and "Zombieland" star Jesse Eisenberg, who shared a juicy tidbit about a possible "Zombieland 2" with Shock Till You Drop.

Eisenberg said a first draft of the script for the sequel has been completed by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick (the writers of the first flick) and turned into Sony, although he hasn't read it yet. According to Shock Till You Drop, Fleischer has read the script. Here's what he had to say:

"Yeah, I read it. I mean, it's an early draft and we have plenty more to do to work on it, but I think it's going to be amazing, I'm really excited about it."

I am too, but Fleischer apparently has a lot of options for what comes next. Here's hoping it's "Zombieland 2," because, let's face it, zombies are just a heck of a lot funnier than vampires will ever be.

And speaking of humor and horror, Bruce Campbell knows a lot about both, and at least wants to unleash something on the world that would by force have to be a little bit fun. Though most every one I know loathes "My Name Is Bruce," I kind of liked it for the little humor/horror flick it was without ever attempting to be anything more. Well, he says he's now plotting a sequel of sorts, "Bruce Vs. Frankenstein," for which I suppose the plot would have to be rather obvious. Here's what he had to say about it to the L.A. Times, via Screen Rant:

“Yeah, The Expendables, or more like the It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World of horror. I want to get so many horror movie stars that people can’t possibly not see the movie. I want to give them other stuff to do. I want to have Kane Hodder be very particular about what he eats. I want Robert Englund to be a tough guy, like he knows tae kwon do or something. I want to find out the hidden sides of all these people. Some will play themselves, some will play alternate characters as well. I may approach Kane Hodder to play Frankenstein. He could be Kane Hodder himself fighting himself as Frankenstein. It could be crazy. It’s a silly concocted story that we hope to do maybe in a year or so. My breaks between Burn Notice have been getting tighter because they’ve been adding episodes. They’re trying to trap me like a rat in the TV world, and I might just let them. There’s a script, it just kind of blows right now, so no one’s really seeing it. We gotta work on it. Definitely shoot in Oregon all on a stage. It’s like the 300 of horror comedies. We want to make it a whole world. Someone’s gotta take Frank down for good.”

Sounds like a straight-to-DVD kind of thing, clearly, if it ever happens, but one that will probably make me at least pony up for a rental.

OK, moving into the clips, let's keep the horror streak going a little longer. But first, if you happen to be a fan of "Mad Men," I think many people will agree with me that last Sunday's Don and Peggy episode was just about the show's finest hour. I can't wait to find out if Don has finally hit bottom or if there's further to fall. Just about when "Mad Men" wraps up again or shortly after, AMC will be premiering Frank Darabont's six-episode (so far at least) zombie series "The Walking Dead," which was filmed just up the road from me in Atlanta. Enjoy this latest TV promo, and certainly tune in when the show debuts, naturally, on Halloween.



And to close with something a little different, I can't say I've been particularly interested in the upcoming action-comedy "Red," but that's simply because I'm unfamiliar with the DC Comics graphic novel by Warren Ellis and Cully Hammer. However, when you put together a cast that somehow includes Dame Helen Mirren, John Malkovich, Mary-Louise Parker and even the great Brian Cox, you've got my attention. In the flick, Mirren, Malkovich, Bruce Willis and Morgan Freeman play top CIA agents who get framed for an assassination and must join forces to break into CIA headquarters and "uncover one of the biggest conspiracies and cover-ups in government history." Sounds like awfully fun stuff if they accent the humor, and judging from this first clip featuring Mirren and Willis, it looks like they will. Enjoy, keep an eye out for the movie Oct. 15, and have a perfectly passable Wednesday. Peace out.

Joss Whedon's a Gleek, and I am too

Actually, before we get into any of that and another video that caught my eye this morning, I'm starting to worry that at my advancing age I have somehow developed super powers and can predict the future.

About a week ago, when it was first announced that Joseph Gordon-Levitt would be reteaming with director Rian Johnson for the sci-fi flick "Looper," I said the plot - roughly about hit men who are sent their victims from crime organizations in the future - sounds rather unfortunately like something Bruce Willis would star in for about one week or so in a February.

Well, either I have a lot more power than I thought (which was, of course, none at all), or by some other cosmic force out of my hands, Willis has indeed now just signed on for the movie, and he and Gordon-Levitt will be playing the same character at different time periods.

That alone already makes this sound a little better, and since rewatching "The Brothers Bloom" last week has me convinced it's a minor masterpiece, I'm certainly willing to give Johnson the benefit of the doubt as this comes together.

And just in case you think I really can see the future, go ahead and place a bet on Calvin Borel and Super Saver to win the best jewel in the Triple Crown today.

OK, enough of that. Before I got distracted, this was supposed to be all about "Glee," which, in case you hadn't heard, is being directed Tuesday night by Joss Whedon, with a guest appearance by Neil Patrick Harris. If, hearing all that, you somehow still don't plan to tune in, just move on today, because this clearly just isn't for you.

But, with "Glee," it almost always is for me. I've heard the complaints from some of my co-workers that the show is just too cheesy, and that the extremely poorly lip-synced songs are just annoying. I get all that, and it's not that I ignore it or don't care, it's that all that adds into what makes "Glee" so deliriously entertaining to watch.

It is indeed a big ball of cheese, and it very often wears its heart right on its sleeve and defies you to not latch on to it. But so what? Along with that, there's consistently a wicked streak of black humor to it all, and when you mix it all, it's like nothing else on TV, and just the perfect guilty pleasure (though I really don't feel guilty about liking it one bit.)

And, as Whedon points out in this promo video, the kids all just throw so much energy into it that it's impossible not to give in to it. Like him, I think Heather Morris' Brittany is my favorite character, and still the funniest line so far (with all apologies to Jane Lynch's zinger-flinging Sue Sylvester) has to be her gem "Did you know a dolphin is just a gay shark?" I'm probably getting that slightly wrong, but even so, it's just funny.

But enough words from me. Enjoy the video, stick around for a bit from Aziz Ansari, and if you like Joss Whedon and NPH, by all means watch Tuesday night's "Glee," even if it will be for the first time.



OK, I should probably find better things to do with my time than be a shill for MTV, but as long these MTV Movie Awards promos keep being funny, I'm gonna keep sharing them. And besides, since the water-skiing squirrel was at the Georgia State Fair here in Macon, of course he's an international superstar. Enjoy the clip also featuring Sarah Silverman (who unfortunately just had her Comedy Central show canceled) and somehow Zac Efron too. Peace out.

MTV Shows

"Brick" team reuniting for something really crazy, but hopefully great

If the survival of "Chuck" was really contingent on the ratings for last night's episode, as Deadline Hollywood and other sources claim, the creators at least put up a real winner.

With guest stars Swoozie Kurtz and Fred Willard, plus a mean Bengal tiger, it was just good, old-fashioned goofy, with more than enough romance thrown in to sweeten the deal. And the kicker with Ellie and Awesome in Africa points to a fantastic finish.

Word should come very soon on whether or not there will be a fourth season, but in the meantime, NBC has already made, in its first new series pickup, what would make the perfect leadin to "Chuck" for a spytastic Monday night.

J.J. Abrams of "Lost" and "Alias" has pitched a show called "Undercovers," about a married couple who just happen to be former top spies with the CIA. They get called back into duty (by Gerald McRaney, naturally) after a former co-worker goes missing while on the trail of a Russian arms dealer. Actually, it's probably too much like "Chuck" to pair the two, though I seriously doubt this new show will bring the funny as regularly or as well as "Chuck" does.

In other good TV news, FX has just announced that it has picked up a second season of "Justified," the series based on an Elmore Leonard short story and starring Timothy Olyphant as, well, pretty much the same character he played in "Deadwood," just in modern-day Kentucky (which, oddly enough, isn't all that far removed from the Old West.)

The show, like another new one I'm really digging, "Treme," is certainly on a slow boil when it comes to a running storyline, but it has plenty of personality, and I'll definitely keep tuning in to see where this all goes. The finale of season one, by the way, comes June 8.

All I've got besides that today, as the headline promised, is news about just what director Rian Johnson and co-conspirator Joseph Gordon-Levitt are up to now, and then a nifty George Clooney trailer to finish things off.

The duo first teamed up for easily one of my favorite films of the last 10 years or so, the high school film noir "Brick." If you haven't seen this one, just rent it already, and I guarantee you'll enjoy it. Next for Johnson came "The Brothers Bloom." The first time I saw this in the theater it just left me cold, but coincidentally enough, I just red boxed it again last weekend, and while the plot still doesn't quite add up, there's more than enough style along the way to make it at least an enjoyable failure (and Rinko Kikuchi is just an adorable hoot as Boom Boom.)

Now, he and Gordon-Levitt seem to have something entirely different in the works for their next movie, "Looper." The plot details so far are more than a little confusing, but as far as I can tell it's a piece of "dark sci-fi" about hit men who are sent back in time to find their victims. Sounds more than a little like the average Bruce Willis movie that will appear in February and make exactly no impression at all, but here's hoping that in the hands of these two, it turns into a whole lot more.

And finally, in an admittedly brief report because I'm just running way behind today, I'll leave you with the first trailer I know of for a flick I had never heard of until this morning, Anton Corbijn's "The American." Starring one George Clooney, it's about an assassin who gets one final case in Italy, and judging at least from this brief glimpse, it looks like the old-fashioned, low-tech kind of thriller that I can really get into. Enjoy the trailer for this one, keep an eye out for it in September, and have a perfectly passable Tuesday. Peace out.

David Cronenberg and Sigmund Freud? Bring it on!

Avatar 3D. Most amazing visuals I've ever seen. Story-wise, meh. But credit for all the Iraq war parallels. Notice that?

It's really apropos of nothing, but I just thought that Twitter burst from the alwaysveryfunny Elizabeth Banks summed up James Cameron's movie rather perfectly, so I had to share it.

As far as actual news today, there's word of a new David Cronenberg movie coming together, and on a subject that seems perfectly tailored to his view of the world and with a cast that's pretty solid too.

With full credit to The Playlist, which as far as I can tell broke this news first, it seems that the Australian distribution company Hopscotch Films has announced that two "Inglourious Basterds" (my favorite movie of 2009), Christoph Waltz and Michael Fassbender, plus Keira Knightley have all signed on to star in "The Talking Cure," which Cronenberg is directing based on the 2002 play by Christopher Hampton.

In it, Knightley would play Sabina Spielrein, a "beautiful young woman, driven mad by her past." For help, she turns to Carl Jung (Fassbender) and Sigmund Freud (Waltz).

Christoph Waltz as Sigmund Freud? Sounds like perfection to me, especially since Cronenberg's best movies deal as much with psychological as physical violence, especially my favorite of his flicks, "Spider."

But will any of this ever come together? Well, with that cast you would certainly think so, but Cronenberg is also attached to possibly direct a movie based on the Robert Ludlum thriller "The Matarese Circle," with Tom Cruise and Denzel Washington set to star.

As promising as that might sound, here's hoping "The Talking Cure" jumps it in his directing queue, and that he gets to work on it fairly fast, because it's just been way too long since the world has seen a David Cronenberg movie.

Just how did Kevin Smith manage to "Cop Out" on "A Couple of Dicks"?

No matter how he tries to defend it, "Cop Out," the new name for Kevin Smith's buddy cop movie starring Tracy Morgan and Bruce Willis and set to drop in February, is just nothing but boring in my book. And judging from the trailer you'll find at the end of this post, the movie itself probably won't be much better either.

But, any time Smith is given a forum to spout off, he always says at least a few things that make me smile, as he did when discussing the new title with Entertainment Weekly's Hollywood Insider blog. It's worth reading the whole thing, but here are a few highlights if you don't have the time, starting with exactly why he had to drop the "A Couple of Dicks" name in the first place:

(Be warned: The language in this, as usual with Mr. Smith, is more than a little salty.)

Kevin Smith: Look, losing A Couple of Dicks was almost akin to losing my own dick. It was a perfect buddy-cop movie comedy title. Everyone knew it. You couldn’t say that title to somebody without a f—ing smile crossing their face. But what I had gone through with Zack and Miri Make a Porno — “porno” had become very problematic, it became tough for us to advertise [the film], blah blah blah. Warner Bros. decided, “Hey man, we’ll call the networks and see if we’re going to get any problems [with A Couple of Dicks as a title], months before the movie’s ever going to come out.” The top 3 networks — CBS, ABC, NBC — said we can’t run one of your spots before 9 o’clock. ... So my feeling was like, it’s an R-rated movie, so who the f— are we talking to anyway before 9 o’clock? Warner Bros’s feeling was like, “Hey man, the sports audience, dickhead. We have to advertise to the sports audience on Saturday and Sunday and all those sporting events usually take place before 9 p.m. in the evening.” At which point, I was like, “Oh wow, you guys are way smarter than me.”

You still certainly can't convince me that "Cop Out" is any way a funny fallback, but he went on to explain how the title could have, amazingly, possibly been even worse:

Smith: So for months now, they’ve always had A Couple of Cops as kind of this fallback thing — a placeholder, essentially. And then all of a sudden, one of the producers of the movie was like, “Hey they’re locking the title, because the trailer is going to be put on Sherlock Holmes.” And I was like, “This is an abundance of wonderful and horrible information.” I want to be on Sherlock Holmes because everyone on the planet will probably go see it on Christmas, but I don’t want it to be A Couple of Cops. That just seems like we didn’t even try! We went from a really clever title to the least clever title of all time. I was like, “God that title is going to feel like such a f—ing cop out.” And [the producer] goes, “We should just call the movie that.”

OK, I know that's a lot of Kevin Smith for people who, like mi hermano, just find the man to be a tremendous tool, but any fans of juvenile comedy will at least smile at this final bit which includes the perfect, fan-suggested tagline, which means it will never appear on a movie poster.

Smith: We were making up sequel titles in our heads, dude. Like, you know, Two Bigger Dicks. Or Dicks 2: It Just Got Harder. Somebody online said you could take Cop Out and vary it with like, “Rock out with your Cop Out!” Hopefully that will be a tagline on a poster or a trailer. And if it is, we owe that random dude on Twitter like at least a few free passes.

But what about the trailer, which appeared this week? Well, like I said above, it really doesn't look too promising at all, even with an appearance from the alwaysveryfunny Susie Essman of "Curb Your Enthusiasm." I love Morgan on "30 Rock," but it's clear he's only as strong as the material he's working with, and "Cop Out" just looks way too weak. It certainly appears like Mr. Smith's stint as a hired hand for Warner Bros. will result in exactly the kind of "comedy" that appears and disappears very quickly each February. Anyways, "enjoy" the trailer, and have a perfectly pleasant Christmas eve. Peace out.

Does Chuck really know kung-fu? Well, sort of

It may seem awfully odd and - well - kinda pathetic to be commenting on what goes on at Comic-Con when I'm not even there, but I love reading this stuff and also passing on what I find.

And before I get into the mostly good news about "Chuck," there were two tidbits from yesterday that caught my eye, both in their own way rather sad.

Kevin Smith showed up to "promote" his buddy-cop movie "A Couple of Dicks," but without any footage and mainly with the news that the title will have to be changed. Not a huge deal, I guess, but the reason is just pathetic: You apparently can't say a certain word (and it's not couple) before 9 p.m. on TV and get your ads on the air. What in the world?

I can't say the signs are terribly good for this one, but I really enjoyed "Zach and Miri Make a Porno," and Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan should make a great comedic duo, so I guess I should keep hope alive.

Things were apparently - and by force - more grim at the "Futurama" panel, where I guess you have to give Matt Groening credit for facing the audience at all, especially since he couldn't bring any actors with him (in case you missed it, Twentieth Century Fox essentially fired them all after they wouldn't take pay cuts and is now recasting ALL the parts - as it stands, I won't be watching that.)

Groening used his sarcastic best to try and stay above the fray, but the bitterness clearly came through in this: "The core of my being is at peace... There are no mistakes," he said. "I embrace the universe. I send loving thoughts to all living beings, including the 'Futurama' cast and Fox executives."

Here's hoping against hope that they somehow get this resolved with Billy West, Katey Segal and everyone else coming back, but I don't really see it happening at this point.

But the big TV news in my book was all about "Chuck," and like I said, if you're a big fan of the show like me, it was all as good as we could expect.

First and foremost, according to the Hollywood Reporter's James Hibberd and a few other reports I cobbled together, Chuck (Zachary Levi) will not be the next coming of Bruce Lee in every episode, which would, of course, eliminate the need for his handlers (and if you make the show with out Adam Baldwin or Yvonne Strahovski, I'm not gonna watch that either.)

According to Levi himself: "The Chuck-fu ... he can't just know kung fu all the time, otherwise his handlers are obsolete. So our very talented and wise creators, they've structured it so the powers have a window, a shelf life, there's a glitch in the system ... I have my powers, but they don't necessarily last -- that's the secret."

That can only be good news, because if at his core Chuck isn't still a pretty goofy guy, the show will lose a lot of its charm. I've included a picture of the art for season three, which would clearly make a really cool comic book cover.

As far as the panel itself went, the cast apparently entered the stage to Jeffster performing "Take Me Home Tonight," which must have just been a riot.

A few other interesting tidbits:

Per co-creator Josh Schwartz: "Something very emotional and traumatic will happen between Chuck and Sarah, but it will be really-really good."

Also: "Now that Awesome knows Chuck's secret, you'll see him pulled into a spy role as well, probably not as reluctantly as he should be." Awesome the spy? Bring it on!

And in a final tease to the fans, Schwartz made this vague claim about the premiere of the third season: "It could be sooner than was announced. We don't know."

I seriously doubt we'll see "Chuck" again until next February, after the next Winter Olympics, but it definitely seems that when it does make it back it will look a lot like the show I've grown to love. Peace out.

What's Zack Snyder up to after "Watchmen"?

The picture above is one of nine in a gallery online at Vanity Fair that's well worth checking out here. This "Honeymooners" shot had to be my favorite because Bill Hader, Anna Faris, Leslie Mann and Jason Bateman are all just sensationally funny people, but there's plenty more to enjoy - including Seth Rogen as Frida Kahlo - in the gallery.

And speaking of seriously funny, a hearty huzzah to Spike TV (which I'm fairly certain I haven't tuned in to up to this point) for reviving a true American hero of physical comedy, the great Super Dave Osborne. If you grew up in the '80s like I did, Super Dave was the king of failed stunts, and now he's about to bring it all back again for four episodes he will write and of course star in this summer. Definitely keep your eyes out for that.

And he's not the only very funny guy who's about to make a comeback. Dave Chappelle sidekick Charlie Murphy - a k a Eddie's currently funnier brother - will launch his show "Charlie Murphy's Crash Comedy" on something called Crackle.com beginning March 20. And please, please, please Mr. Murphy, just go right ahead and steal the concept of "Charlie Murphy's True Hollywood Stories." It was the funniest thing on Dave's show, and he apparently won't be needing it anytime soon.

And since this is already the longest intro having nothing to do with the headline, why not more really funny from Kevin Smith, who proves there's not only life after making a porno, but a real cash cow.

For the record, I really liked "Zack and Miri Make a Porno." It was sweet and funny all at once, and that thoroughly disgusting anal sex joke at the end - I suppose it was the "money shot" - just made me laugh out loud. Almost as funny but thoroughly depressing, however, is that - for Wal-Mart, at least - Mr. Smith and those Weinstein boys have stripped the "porno" from the title completely for DVD shelves, labeling it simply "Zack and Miri." Sad. Really sad.

Now, even though that flick only made a rather paltry $31 million in its theatrical run, Mr. Smith is about to hit the big time. Warner Brothers has signed him to direct the detective comedy "A Couple of Cops," which was apparently at one point, and in Smith's hands probably will again be, known as "A Couple of Dicks." It will star Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan. In the flick, according to the trades, the duo will track down a stolen baseball card, rescue a Mexican beauty and deal with gangsters and laundered drug money.

I can't find anything but good news there. For proof that Willis can be a great comedic actor with the right material, look no further than "Bandits" with Billy Bob Thornton and Cate Blanchett (well worth a rental if you can still find it.) And Tracy Morgan, though Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin try to steal all the acclaim, is the biggest fool on "30 Rock" and plays it with gusto. That recent bit with Dr. Spaceman about how diabetes might give him the chance to replace one of his feet with a wheel was just priceless.

OK, enough of that. Since this is "Watchmen" week, it should be all about Zack Snyder, and I promise that from here on out it mostly will be. It may be old news to most of the world, but the item I came across this morning was the first I had heard about "Sucker Punch," his next flick after "Watchmen."

And it sounds thoroughly intriguing. The new news is that "Mamma Mia!" star Amanda Seyfried is about to sign on to lead the mostly female cast, with Vanessa Hudgens, Abbie Cornish, Evan Rachel Wood and Emma Stone all eyeing the project too.

So, what is it? Well, here's the description from Variety: Set in the 1950s, "Punch" follows a girl who is confined to a mental institution by her stepfather, who intends to have her lobotomized in five days. While there, she imagines an alternative reality to hide her from the pain, and in that world, she begins planning her escape, needing to steal five objects to help get her out before she is deflowered by a vile man.

Sounds like it steals more than a bit from "Pan's Labyrinth," but I love movies about the imagination, especially when it's needed to survive. And Zack Snyder has already proven that he has a pretty wild one himself, and he promises he'll use it to fill "Sucker Punch" to create something like " 'Alice in Wonderland' with machine guns," so definitely stay tuned for more on this.

And finally today, a little catching up. No less than two of my co-workers asked me yesterday if I had seen the new trailer for McG's "Terminator Salvation," which will unspool in front of "Watchmen" (which I'll be watching in Imax!) this weekend. I had to admit I had not, but as you can see below, it does indeed - as they led me to believe - kick all kinds of ass. Enjoy, and have a perfectly passable Wednesday. Peace out.

Oliver Stone finally heads back to Vietnam

Although I was really hoping he would jump into the middle of the hunt for Osama bin laden, Oliver Stone has apparently changed course and is now heading back to familiar territory. And that could surely be a good thing.

He is apparently closing a deal with United Artists to finance "Pinkville," a drama about the investigation of the 1968 My Lai massacre that he would direct. Bruce Willis and Channing Tatum will star.

This would be Stone's fourth foray into Vietnam (well, fifth, of course, if you count his actual war service.) Of the the three he's already made, I'd rank "Heaven & Earth" as the best, with "Platoon" a close second and "Born on the Fourth of July" trailing rather badly.

In the new flick, Willis will play Army Gen. William R. Peers, who supervised the investigation into the massacre by U.S. soldiers of as many as 500 My Lai villagers, most of them unarmed women, children and elderly. It's good to hear that, unlike Sly Stallone, Mr. Willis may finally be starting to act his age and not taking to the battlefield.

Tatum will play Hugh Thompson, a helicopter pilot who, upon realizing what was happening below, put a stop to the killing by placing his craft between gunmen and the few villagers who were left, and telling his two shipmates to fire on the soldiers if they shot any more people. They airlifted the survivors and reported the carnage to superiors.

Although they really need to work on that title ("Pinkville" is apparently the description on a military map for the region where My Lai is, but so what?), this could be a welcome return to meaty material for Stone. I enjoyed "World Trade Center" enough as an ode to heroism, but it's been way too long since Oliver Stone challenged anyone or anything on screen, so I can only hope he jumps rights into "the shit," as Max Fischer put it so well, with this one.

Lucas to make two good movies?

OK, that may be a bit harsh, but I'm counting on the Lucas-produced "Indy 4" being fantastic, and this news about a World War II flick sounds almost as good. When's the last time you could really associate George Lucas with two good movies?

The latest, "Red Tails," is a World War II movie he apparently came up with the story for some time ago. The flick, which will center on the Tuskegee Airmen and be produced through Lucasfilm, will be scripted by John Ridley, who is definitely on a roll of late.

Ridley has already written the very funny but underappreciated "Undercover Brother" and the story for "Three Kings," among other flicks, and he came to Lucas' attention after the producer read his script for a movie about the L.A. riots, which Spike Lee will hopefully someday soon finally get around to making instead of toying with more "Inside Man" nonsense.

I really hope Lucas is finally committed to this. What may finally make him follow through with it could be ego. Lord knows what Peter Jackson will do after he wraps "The Lovely Bones," but if it's his long-rumored World War II aviation flick "Dambusters" a fun race to the finish could be on between these two titans.

Paul Giamatti channeling Karl Rove?

The marketing for "Shoot 'Em Up," which has never once shied away from the fact that this movie will be nothing more than an unapologeticly silly hail of bullets, has been just about brilliant.

The latest installment I found was a column by director Michael Davis at MTV Movie News in which, among other amusing things, he reveals the inspiration for Paul Giamatti's hitman in the upcoming flick:

He (Giamatti) says he'd like his character to be based on Karl Rove — a seemingly bookish guy who exercises power behind the scenes. I like it. His character turns out to be way more flamboyant than Rove ... but I like how our free-flowing conversation started making the character better than what is on the page.

If you didn't know it was written by a promising new director, you might think he was just an extremely eager fanboy as he describes meeting Giamatti, Clive Owen and the ravishing Monica Bellucci for the first time, but it's genuinely entertaining reading. And coupled next week with the "3:10 to Yuma" remake, his flick will hopefully blast us right out of the movie-muck that has flowed forth after "Superbad."

TV tidbits

Though I spent probably too much time yesterday fantasizing about the return of Eliza Dushku as Faith the vampire slayer, it seems Tim Minear has other plans in mind for his next TV project. Minear, who was a co-creator of "Angel" and had a big role in the creation of "Firefly," will reteam with his "Wonderfalls" partner Tim Holland for "Miracle Man." It centers on a disgraced former televangelist, a man of no faith, who finds that God is using him to perform real miracles and change lives, starting with his own.

"It's about losing everything and starting over and finding that there is a higher purpose in life," Minear said. "It's about a man who says, 'I don't know how to be good, but I'll try to be better.' "

The premise, frankly, doesn't sound terribly promising, but after the disastrous treatment of "Drive," Mr. Minear needs and deserves a winner, so I'll at least give it a chance.

And, apparently it pays off big to draw extremely crude and smart cartoons. Assuring we will get "South Park" until at least 2011 (huzzah!), Trey Parker and Matt Stone have signed a new $75 million deal with Comedy Central.

The unique deal gives them a 50-50 split on any digital ad revenue. In my fairly many years on this planet I've yet to see anything approaching $75 million, and I really can't even imagine what it might look like, but these guys definitely deserve it. Fifteen years of "South Park"? Bring it on.

OK, it's a long post today, but I'm almost finished, so bear with me. In the mail a few weeks back I got the DVD for the final "Prime Suspect," which I will dutifully review before its Sept. 11 release (but, having already seen it on TV, I can tell you now that it's as good as any entry in the series, and therefore better than at least 90 percent of what passes for entertainment on TV now.)

But "Prime Suspect" does indeed appear to be over, and creator Linda LaPlante is moving on too. She's signed with NBC to pen "Mafia Wives," which revolves around mob wives who take over the business in their husbands' absence. Sounds fairly promising, and it's definitely in the right hands.

And anyone who actually made it this far deserves a reward. Here's the latest trailer for "American Gangster," Ridley Scott's take on the saga of Harlem drug kingpin Frank Lucas. Peace out.