Wish I was there: Docs that are rocking the TIFF

Actually, before we get into any of that, and trying to stick to some kind of theme after taking more than a week off (living without the Internet, no matter what you might be thinking, really isn't a return to some kind of low-tech paradise, believe me), let's start with news about three things that, at least in my mind, "rock."

First up, a pipe dream, but as with diehard fans of "Arrested Development," the small cult of people who thoroughly appreciated Starz's equally short-lived "Party Down" (of which I'm certainly a member) are new being teased occasionally with the promise of some kind of movie to wrap things up. And though I'm hesitant to get in on that cruel game, I love "Party Down" enough to pass on what the great Adam Scott had to say about the possibility while promoting "Friends with Kids" at the Toronto International Film Festival:

"We're like 90% there, we're hoping to do it maybe next summer, if everyone's schedules work out and the guys get time to write a script. They have kind of a skeleton of a story worked out so we know where it's going to go but we just have to kind of cross the t's and dot the i's, or something. But Starz are being super cool and they're going to let us do it, and we're all excited, we all want to do it."

Like I said, not holding my breath too hard, but I can't imagine Starz has much else to do, so let's just keep hope alive. And moving on to the next thing that caught my attention this morning, and about something much more likely to happen, there's news about Quentin Tarantino's next flick, "Django Unchained."

The latest is that Samuel L. Jackson and Gerald McRaney (Major Dad, yes really) have officially joined the cast, and in even better news, Jackson let slip that filming will begin in January in New Orleans. The movie itself is set to drop as a Christmas day gift in 2012.

And having read the script for this (it's the Internet, folks, you can easily find it), I can say that on paper it's easily Tarantino's most challenging movie, and possibly his best yet, too. The story is about a German bounty hunter (Christoph Waltz) and a freed slave (Django, Jamie Foxx, odd) who join forces to take revenge on slave owners and liberate Django's wife, Broomhilda (again, yes really, and to be played by the truly great Kerry Washington, hopefully). Broomhilda is owned by mandingo fighting ranch owner Calvin Candie, to be played by one Leo DiCaprio.

Sound crazy? It surely is, and thoroughly incorrect in every way, but what else would you expect from QT? Due to the content, I still have some doubts that he can really pull all this off, but here's hoping for sure. Stay tuned ...

And finally, before we get to the TIFF trailers, there are few people I'd rather see return to TV than "Pushing Daisies" creator Bryan Fuller, and it seems he's hard at work on a comeback that should be just about perfect.

The hourlong show would examine the relationship between one Hannibal Lecter and FBI profiler Will Graham, with the action taking place before the story in the "Red Dragon" novel. No idea who would play the roles or what network wants this (I foresee a bidding war if it's not yet settled), and it would certainly be just about the polar opposite of the wonder-filled and wonderful "Pushing Daisies," but I can still only say bring it on!

OK, now on to the main attraction today, with a final clip of what should be the craziest movie at this year's TIFF, and possibly the best thing too for people like me.

Though I've yet to see any of them, given the quantity and potential quality of the rock docs coming out now, we certainly seem to have entered a golden age of sorts. Martin Scorsese, no stranger to the genre, has a new one on George Harrison, and Cameron Crowe is beginning his comeback with a look at the career of Pearl Jam (always much too earnest for my tastes, but I'd still love to see the movie as soon as I can.)

And at the TIFF, there are at least three others that look very promising. First up, from "An Inconvenient Truth" and "It Might Get Loud" director Davis Guggenheim comes "From the Sky Down," about a certain band known as U2. Heresy, I know, but those guys have never been among my favorites either. The movie, however, judging at least from this trailer, looks to be a lot more fun than the band itself often is. Enjoy.



Next up comes, I believe, Jonathan Demme's third movie about the truly great Neil Young. For this one, "Neil Young Journeys," Demme (coincidentally enough, the director of the Lecter movie "Silence of the Lambs"), followed Young as he returned to his hometown of Toronto for a concert. One I really want to see, so enjoy the trailer.



And last on the strictly rock menu, though Paul McCartney is clearly just a pop kind of guy, comes "The Love We Make," in which McCartney offers his own reflections on 9/11, a day on which he happened to be in NYC. Kinda heavy for a rock doc, but since this comes from the great Albert Maysles, I'm betting on something worth catching if you can. Enjoy the trailer.



And finally, clearly saving the oddest for last, the title of this next one, "Juan of the Dead," obviously gives away what it's about. A Cuban zombie movie that looks as funny and simply wild as that notion should be, this is one I want to see ASAP. And on a slightly different subject, mi hermano and I managed to catch "Attack the Block" while on vacation recently in Charm City, and I can't recommend any movies that have come out this summer higher than that gem produced by Edgar Wright. And with that, I say thanks to anyone who happened to stop by for this return to my vanity project, enjoy the "Juan of the Dead" trailer, and have a perfectly endurable Wednesday. Peace out.

Tarantino gets his Django, and Gervais' "Life's Too Short" heading to HBO

If it's true, as has been suggested, that the racial language (I think you know what I mean) scared off first Will Smith and then maybe Idris Elba too from "Django Unchained," that's areal shame, because having read the script, I can guarantee it has the potential to be among Quentin Tarantino's very best movies.

And while Elba would have been my definite first choice, it seems that Tarantino has found his Django, and it's a sold second (or I guess third) choice in Jamie Foxx.

With that out of the way, and Christoph Waltz, one Leonardo DiCaprio and Samuel L. Jackson too all cast, the only major part left is that of Django's enslaved wife, Broomhilda (yes, really).

So, what's this all about? Well, it's a grand tale about a German bounty hunter (Waltz, natch), Dr. Schultz, who frees the slave Django (Foxx) to help him in his quest as a bounty hunter who has a particular interest in taking out slave owners. They eventually cross paths with the big bad, Calvin Candie (DiCaprio), who runs a mandingo fighting ranch called Candyland (again, yes, really) and is Broomhilda's owner.

And what's great about the script? Plenty. The dialogue, principally between Schultz and Django, is Tarantino sharp throughout, and it's used to set up some set pieces that should rival the best scenes in "Inglourious Basterds" (though nothing will match the burning face of Melanie Laurent in that theater .. priceless.) Best of all should be the last half hour or so, which is just packed with tension as Schultz and Django arrive at Candyland in the guise of mandingo buyers to rescue Broomhilda.

As I said, pretty much by force, just about every page of the script is littered with a certain word that begins with the letter n, but it also sets up something potentially great for 2012, so definitely stay tuned for more just as soon as I can find it.

And after that today, it's all about great comedy, starting with a fantastic partnership and closing with great news about Ricky Gervais and Warwick Davis.

If I were to list the 10 or so people who most make me laugh, Gervais would definitely be on it, but so too certainly would Armando Iannucci and Steve Coogan. And now comes word that the latter duo have teamed up for what should be some really big laughs.

Iannucci has joined Baby Cow, the independent production company founded by Coogan and Henry Normal, as the company's creative director. Iannucci is the mastermind of "The Thick of It" and the fantastic movie satire "In The Loop" that sprang it (featuring what still stands as the most gloriously profane turn of all time with Peter Capaldi as Malcolm Tucker.)

And Iannucci is currently at work on something for HBO that could be potentially very funny, Julia Louis-Dreyfuss in "Veep," a hopefully sharp satire in which she plays the vice president of the United States.

As for his previous work with Coogan, the duo combined to create what is still his best character, the epicly clueless Alan Partridge. You could easily spend an entire day watching the Alan Partridge archive on YouTube, but here's just a sweet little taste, Partridge singing a great Kate Bush medley for Comic Relief. Yes, really.



What will they come up with next? Who knows for sure, but I do know the company currently has a 12-month partnership with the BBC to develop new comedy scripts, so perhaps we'll find out very soon.

And finally today, in great news for anyone who, like me, subscribes to HBO, the inevitable word has come down that "Life's Too Short," the series that Gervais is cooking up with little man extraordinaire Warwick Davis, will be coming to HBO sometime in 2012.

No word yet on when exactly that will be, but this faux documentary about Davis' life should be nothing but a hoot, so I'll let you know as soon as I find out anything solid. In the meantime, here's the show's first trailer, which isn't nearly as funny as it could be, but still gives you a taste of what's to come. Enjoy, and have a perfectly pleasant Thursday. Peace out.

A Thursday clip show, closing with the funniest thing you'll see today

Starting with some movie news, having been thoroughly burned by Matt Reeves' soulless, shot-by-empty-shot remake of one of my favorite movies, "Let the Right One In," I should just run screaming from this, but there's news today that still gives me hope that another unnecessary remake of a modern European classic might actually be pretty good.

Guillaume Canet's "Tell No One," based on the American novel by Harlan Coben, actually came out in the same year as Tomas Alfredson's "Let the Right One In," and as a duo, they were my two favorites movies of 2008.

So there's nothing more representative of Hollywood's bankruptcy of ideas than the fact that they're both so quickly targeted for remakes, but in spite of that, I still have hope for the upcoming American take on "Tell No One" for exactly one reason: Ben Affleck.

He's now at work on "Argo," the odd thriller he's directing based on the true story of how the CIA and the Canadian government teamed up to rescue six U.S. diplomats who had been taken hostage by Iranians in 1979, developing a ruse that involved convincing the Iranians that the diplomats were a Hollywood film crew scouting locations for a movie called “Argo.”

That should be nothing but wicked fun, but today comes word that after that, he'll direct the American remake of "Tell No One," and though like I said I should know by now not to get suckered in so easily, the hard-boiled mind-bender would indeed seem to be perfectly catered to his directing style, if this remake needs to be made at all.

OK, enough of that. I promised clips, and the movie-related ones today are actually pretty sensational in my estimation, followed by three doses of pretty solid funny.

First up today is the first trailer I know of for the upcoming baseball flick "Moneyball," which, even with the thoroughly annoying "Entertainment Tonight" voiceover interruptions, looks like nothing but great. I love a good baseball movie, and this one starring Brad Pitt as Oakland A's bean counter Billy Beane, Jonah Hill as his assistant and, though he makes virtually no appearance in the trailer, Philip Seymour Hoffman as A's coach Art Howe, should be a real winner. Enjoy the trailer, and if you like baseball movies as much as me, keep an eye out for this in September.



Next up, if you take one piece of movie advice from me ever, it's go see "Tree of Life" if you have the chance. By far Terrence Malick's most personal movie, and in my opinion, his best, too. But don't take my word for it. In what I have to assume is a leaked DVD extra, Christopher Nolan and David Fincher eloquently make the case for why this is such a uniquely entertaining movie, emphasizing its naturalism as one of its chief strengths. Enjoy, go see the movie if you can, and stick around for three doses of good comedy, with the very best for last.



Part of my newspaper job (the one that actually pays me a bit of scratch) is to look for movie reviews of the week's opening releases, if there will be any. Well, this week, I just assumed several folks would step forward to review "Green Lantern" in time for inclusion in our entertainment publication, but only Rene Rodriguez took the plunge, and slightly too late, promptly giving the movie one star. With "Super 8" still to catch up with and perhaps Woody Allen's "Midnight in Paris" to see again (yes, it's just that good), I think I'll just say no, but just in case you're feeling tempted, here are the Onion folks to get you amped for the sure-to-be-phenomenon that is "Greg Lantern." Enjoy.



I read this book while in a Minneapolis bookstore last week, and even though I have no rugrats of my own to deal with, it was an amusing enough little ditty. I had no idea, however, that Adam Mansbach's "Go the F#$% to Sleep" was about to debut atop the NY Times bestseller list. Reading it is indeed a bit of fun, but believe me, hearing Samuel L. Jackson read it is at least 15 times better. Enjoy this audio-only clip, and then stick around for what is by a very wide margin the funniest thing I've seen today.



By himself, Karl Pilkington, the tormented genius of Ricky Gervais' podcasts and now his Science show "An Idiot Abroad," is pretty friggin funny already. But what happens when you combine him with Warwick Davis, the "Harry Potter" star who's also featured in his own upcoming Gervais series, "Life's Too Short"? Not surprisingly, comic gold. On the podcasts, Pilkington has made it clear that he fears just about everything even slightly out of the ordinary, especially little people, so when Davis sits on his lap in this clip, it's a riot. If you like this, be advised, it's only part one of four, and the rest can be found at YouTube by searching for "When Karl Meets Warwick." Enjoy, and have a perfectly pleasant Thursday. Peace out.

When you're Will Smith ...

Actually, first off, just in case you're having any doubts, go see "Thor" if you're a fan of big, cheesy and thoroughly fun summer flicks. It's all three, and I loved it.

OK, moving on to the main attraction today, when you're Will Smith, I suppose getting to work with Quentin Tarantino is simply the logical next step, but if he indeed signs on for what QT is cooking up now, as the Hollywood Reporter reports he's likely to do, it should be nothing but cool.

For anyone who needs a catch-up, Tarantino's next flick will be a Western (though, as he himself has said more than once, it's indeed more of a "Southern") titled "Django Unchained." In it, if he takes the part, Smith would play the titular freed slave who teams up with a German bounty hunter (Christoph Waltz, natch) to reunite with his wife, and the two eventually set their sights on Django's former owner. Samuel L. Jackson is apparently on board to play the house slave of an "evil" plantation owner.

Sounds more than a bit crazy, right? Certainly, but look at the plot for "Inglourious Basterds" on paper, and that seemed ludicrous too, but it turned out to be by a pretty wide margin my favorite movie of 2009, with several scenes that are still permanently burned on my brain. Definitely stay tuned for more on this whenever I find it ...

In one more bit of movie news before what has to be best trailer I've seen all week, Bill Murray will be joined by one of my favorite actresses when he plays Franklin D. Roosevelt in an upcoming movie. Mull over for a second or two just how good Murray as FDR could be ...

The movie is called "Hyde Park on the Hudson," and it focuses on FDR's love affair with his cousin and is set during a June weekend in 1939 when the British King and Queen visited his upstate New York cottage in the first-ever visit to America by a member of the British monarchy. Juicy stuff that, and now comes word that definite Reel Fanatic fave Laura Linney has signed on to play the cousin, with Roger Michell (who back in the day directed still my favorite Jane Austen adaptation, that "Persuasion" starring Amanda Root and Ciaran Hinds) directing.

Sounds like slightly more serious stuff for Murray, but he'd be funny at a funeral, so I'm sure he will be here too.

And finally today, to wrap up a short Saturday morning report, I had never heard of this flick from "Man on a Wire" director James Marsh until I found this trailer this morning, but it looks fantastic. "Project Nim" follows the real-life project in the '70s that set out to teach a chimpanzee sign language and embed him in a family of humans.

As you can imagine from that scenario, it got more than bit crazy (as one of his keepers points out in the trailer, Nim liked "alcohol and driving fast.") It was also an important experiment, however, and it looks like a fascinating flick. Enjoy the trailer, keep an eye out for this in at least some markets July 8, and have a perfectly pleasant weekend. Peace out.

The best movie of 2010 getting all kinds of kudos

Though Pixar's "Toy Story 3" comes in a close second, I haven't seen a better movie this year than Debra Granik's "Winter's Bone," and now that it's awards season, that great flick is starting to garner some very well-deserved recognition.

First this week, it really came up big at the Gothams, winning the awards for Best Feature and, perhaps even better, Best Ensemble Performance, because Jennifer Lawrence and John Hawkes also delivered the best two performances I've seen on screen this year.,

In the Best Feature category, it prevailed over some heavy hitters in "Black Swan," "The Kids Are All Right" "Blue Valentine" and "Let Me In." (I don't want to be hateful about it, but I thought "The Kids Are All Right" was severely overrated - at best a TV movie with exceptional acting from Annette Bening. And as for "Let Me In" even being on this list, that's a disgrace.)

On a personal side note, I was disappointed to see that "Summer Pasture," a truly odd but endearing documentary about Tibetan nomads that I saw at the Rehoboth Beach Independent Film Festival, didn't win in the category of Best Film Not Playing at a Theater Near You, which went to something called "Littlerock."

And now on top of that, "Winter's Bone" has also notched the most Independent Spirit Award nominations with seven, and in all the major categories (including for Lawrence and Hawkes.)

In case anyone's curious, here are the nominees in the major categories:

Best Film
* 127 Hours
* Black Swan
* Greenberg
* The Kids Are All Right
* Winter’s Bone

Best Director
* Darren Aronofsky – Black Swan
* Danny Boyle – 127 Hours
* Lisa Cholodenko – The Kids Are All Right
* Debra Granik – Winter’s Bone
* John Cameron Mitchell – Rabbit Hole

Best Actor
* Ronald Bronstein – Daddly Longlegs
* Aaron Eckhart – Rabbit Hole
* James Franco – 127 Hours
* John C. Reilly – Cyrus
* Ben Stiller – Greenberg

Best Actress
* Nicole Kidman – Rabbit Hole
* Annette Bening – The Kids Are All Right
* Greta Gerwig – Greenberg
* Jennifer Lawrence – Winter’s Bone
* Natalie Portman – Black Swan
* Michelle Williams – Blue Valentine

Best Supporting Actor
* John Hawkes – Winter’s Bone
* Samuel L. Jackson – Mother and Child
* Bill Murray – Get Low
* John Ortiz – Jack Goes Boating
* Mark Ruffalo – The Kids Are All Right

Best Supporting Actress
* Ashley Bell – The Last Exorcism
* Dale Dickey – Winter’s Bone
* Allison Janney – Life During Wartime
* Daphne Rubin-Vega – Jack Goes Boating
* Naomi Watts – Mother and Child

Best Foreign Film
* The King’s Speech
* Kisses
* Mademoiselle Chambon
* Of Gods and Men
* Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives

Best Documentary
* Exit Through the Gift Shop
* Marwencol
* Restrepo
* Sweetgrass
* Thunder Soul

Best Screenplay
* Lisa Cholodenko, Stuart Blumberg – The Kids Are All Right
* Debra Granik, Anne Rosellini – Winter’s Bone
* Nicole Holofcener – Please Give
* David Lindsay-Abaire – Rabbit Hole
* Todd Solondz – Life During Wartime

And if you haven't seen "Winter's Bone," I really can't recommend a rental any higher. I think it's sitting on my local redbox right now, so I plan to watch it again this weekend.

Granik's film, which takes place in the Ozarks, drops you deep into a side of America that I have to assume just about anyone who happens to read this has never seen.

As it starts, Rhee Dolly (Lawrence) gets a knock on the door of the home she shares with her two younger siblings, and a sheriff's deputy says her deadbeat father, who is due in court in a few days, has put up their house as a guarantor of his appearance.

From there, it's part film noir, part coming-of-age very fast in extremely tough circumstances and all very entertaining. Just watch it already.

And all I have after that today is something that's pretty old by now, but it's so cool that I just have to finish with it. I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that I'll never be able to stop paying for HBO. "Boardwalk Empire" has just gotten better and better this fall, and shortly after wraps up will come something even better, "Game of Thrones." I still have no idea when exactly this will hit the air, but it will be in winter or spring of 2011, and you can be sure I'll be eagerly tuned in for every episode of this series based on the books by George R. R. Martin. Enjoy the trailer below, and have a perfectly passable Wednesday. Peace out.

OK, maybe I will go see "The Other Guys"

Before I get into any of that, think: What's the best possible news you could hear about the return of "Glee" to make it even better than the wickedly funny/cheesy/outright entertaining show already is?

Well, how about Sue Sylvester's mom? In what, even if you don't watch the show you'll have to concede is rather genius casting, Carol Burnett will play the nazi-hunting mother of Jane Lynch's cheerleading coach/bully extraordinaire on a November episode of the Fox show. The only possibly bad news there? In the place where I first saw this, in Michael Ausiello's Entertainment Weekly column, it was pretty clear this will be for only one episode. Oh well.

And the baseball season may well have ended for the Orioles in, well, the second week of April or so, but my favorite team of lovable losers is now 2-0 under new manager Buck Showalter and are now guaranteed to win their fifth series of the year (out of 35, yes, but always look on the bright side of life.) As I heard some dude on ESPN radio say, and though of course I couldn't see him, it seemed to be with a straight face, "here come the Orioles," so watch out.

In their honor, here's a picture I found this morning of Philip Seymour Hoffman as A's manager Art Howe in the upcoming flick "Moneyball" that just made me smile. The flick itself is directed by Bennett Miller from the Michael Lewis book about general manager Billy Beane, who kept the team's payroll low and its winning percentage high (as opposed to the Orioles, who, oh well ...) One Brad Pitt is set to play Beane, who often clashed with Howe on the direction the team was taking. Anyways, this flick is one I'm definitely looking forward to. Here's the pic, which gets bigger if you click on it:


OK, finally on to the main event, I suppose. Although I managed to give up smoking long ago (and was never terribly good at it anyway), I still have plenty of bad habits, and the worst of them all just might be Will Ferrell movies. I haven't quite seen them all (I managed to just say no to whatever that basketball flick was called), but it's definitely well more than half, and I really can't explain why.

There all universally pretty stupid, but sometimes very funny too. An example: That "Stepbrothers" flick with John C. Reilly was a hoot. Yes, really. So, while I was at first at least trying to resist seeing his new flick directed by Adam McKay, "The Other Guys," it looks like it has enough going for it to make me spring for a matinee or so (though not this week, because I have to work six days and on my day off, I'm gonna see "The Kids Are All Right" instead, since that has one week at best to survive around here.)

The upside: Steve Coogan is not only in it, but is apparently the big bad, and I'll watch him in just about anything. Markie Mark and Samuel L. Jackson should also be very funny.

The downside: If it's bad, it will just be a 90-minute SNL sketch, and I already made that mistake once this year already with the not-even-for-90-seconds-funny "MacGruber" (yes, I see far too many movies.)

Anyways, if you happen to see this this weekend, please feel free to let me know if it was any good, and in the meantime, enjoy this mysteriously bleeped, four-minute clip of footage screened at Comic-Con, and have a perfectly pleasant Thursday. Peace out.

"Jackie Brown" prequel in the works, but so far at least, without QT

In a word, the "Chuck" finale: Awesome. But no Buy More? Sheesh.

And I know I'm probably almost completely alone here, but "Jackie Brown" has always (or at least since it was made, of course) been my favorite Quentin Tarantino movie.

Better than "Pulp Fiction"? Better than "Inglourious Basterds," which I rank as my favorite movie of all of 2009? Yep. There's just something about the writing, the pacing and the characters that make it great, and a movie that I go back and watch on DVD about once a year or so (but it's not the best Elmore Leonard work on the big screen, an honor that will always go to "Out of Sight" in my book.)

So, a prequel focusing on the origin of the relationship of Ordell Robbie and Louis Gara, played in "Jackie Brown" by Samuel L. Jackson and Robert De Niro, would be great news, right? Well, perhaps, but not so fast.

First of all, so far at least, QT has nothing to do with this. The project is an adaptation of the Leonard novel "The Switch," and the screenplay's been written by someone named Daniel Schechter, whose directorial debut, "Goodbye Baby," made the film festival circuit, and produced by Michael Siegel, who, with both "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and "Be Cool" on his rap sheet, isn't exactly a clean character.

The movie, as is the book it's based on, would be called "The Switch," and Elmore Leonard has signed on as an executive producer, though as yet there's no director or studio attached to this. In the novel, Robbie and Gara meet in prison, and once out, they join forces for one big score that finds them kidnapping the wife of a wealthy Detroit developer. When the husband refuses to pay the ransom for his wife's return, Ordell and Louis are forced to reconceive their plan, and the angry housewife uses the ex-cons to get her revenge.

A Leonard movie set in Detroit, like much of "Out of Sight"? I'm in. So as they seek to recast the younger Robbie and Gara, why not Don Cheadle, who was so great as Snoopy Miller in Steven Soderbergh's flick? As for the young Louis, who knows? As much as I hated "Iron Man 2," I'd still certainly put in a vote for Sam Rockwell.

But who knows if any of this will ever even happen. In the meantime, an ounce of research on my part turned up a bit about "Goodbye Baby," and it indeed doesn't sound half bad. I thought about embedding the trailer from YouTube, but it just has the most obnoxious voice over on it that ruins the whole thing. Instead, I'd recommend visiting the official site and watching the much more enjoyable version there.

Best as I can tell, it centers on a young woman (Christine Evangelista) who wants to make it as a standup comic in NYC, and with co-stars like Kevin Corrigan, Alan Ruck, Jerry Adler and the great Donnell Rawlings from "Chappelle's Show," it has as many funny people in it as Judd Apatow's disappointing movie of the same name.

Anyways, it coincidentally enough is set to come out on DVD next Tuesday, June 1 (at least according to Amazon), and I at least will be renting it from the Netflix. And with that I have to get ready for work. Peace out.

Is it just me, or did "Iron Man 2" kind of suck?

Before anyone assumes that I'm exaggerating here, take note of the words "kind of" in that headline. We're not talking about "X-3" or "Spider-Man 3" epic suck here, but think about it: Either in comparison to the wildly entertaining original movie or just on its own as the flick to launch this summer, "Iron Man 2" was for the most part a big disappointment.

Granted, it certainly starts off well enough. Tony Stark is just as brashly fun as we remember him at the Stark Expo, and the good stuff keeps building until the Grand Prix de Monaco, which is one of the best superhero set pieces in recent years and certainly a grand entrance for Whiplash, the ubercool villain played by Mickey Rourke.

Which just makes it that much more of a shame that, from that point on, the movie just pretty much completely fizzles out. It really goes nowhere, and what we get, rather amazingly, is a placesetter. Now, an extremely flashy placesetter at that, but why in the world should the the world's coolest superhero have to fulfill that role for anyone, be it Thor, Captain America, the Avengers or even his own next movie? Sheesh.

The real travesty in that almost complete letdown in the story department is that the cast - new and old - is pretty uniformly first-rate. Downey is if anything even funnier than he was in the original - no small feat - and he and Gwyneth Paltrow's Pepper Potts have quickly developed the kind of naturally witty give and take that is sorely missing from the vast majority of what passes for romantic comedies these days. I still see no need to have replaced Terrence Howard - a definite fave around here - with Don Cheadle here, but he certainly works too as both Rhoady and the War Machine.

And as far as villains go, Mickey Rourke makes a bigger impression as Whiplash than any big bad since Alfred Molina's Doc Oc, and like Molina, he menaces at least as much with his words as he does with those electrifying arms. Combined with Sam Rockwell, who just hams it up as weapons man Justin Hammer, pretty much the anti-Tony in every way, they make a pretty sensational dastardly duo once they join forces.

But with all that going for it, how in the world did director Jon Favreau and screenwriter Justin Theroux manage to deliver such a dud storywise? Be warned: If you haven't seen "Iron Man 2" yet and want to (and I would certainly never tell anyone not to), you probably shouldn't read any further today, because I really can't get into my real beefs with "Iron Man 2" without getting pretty specific from here on out.

OK, work with me here, people. After Rourke's smashing intro as Whiplash in Monaco, what's the most exciting thing that happens in the rest of "Iron Man 2"? The real peril for our hero doesn't come during the middle stretch from Whiplash, but instead from the palladium that is slowly killing him at the same time that it superpowers him. But how does Tony go about finding a replacement? Well, after tinkering around a bit in his lab (not being a gadget guy, easily my least favorite of any "Iron Man" tale), Samuel L. Jackson's Nick Fury simply GIVES HIM THE NEW ELEMENT, or at least what he needs to discover it. Where in the world is the fun or any kind of intrigue in all that?

But the real letdown of "Iron Man 2" has to be the finale, so once again be warned, don't read this if you haven't seen the flick yet. OK, think about it. What happens after Whiplash dupes Hammer (an amazingly easy feat) and unleashes his deadly army of drones at Stark Expo? After a "battle" that lasts maybe a minute or two tops, Tony and Rhoady dispense of them all with seemingly little to no trouble at all. That, however, is just placesetting for the arrival of Whiplash in his own suit of ultrabad armor, right? Nope. Whiplash does look like one bad MF armored out, but Tony and Rhoady, in one of the the silliest Wonder Twins-esque superhero moments ever, take him out almost instantly. Again, where in the world is the fun in that?

In the end, that sums up the real downfall of "Iron Man 2" for me: Though it brought plenty of funny, the filmmakers seem to have forgotten that the root word of that is fun. And lest anyone reading this think I'm simply a curmudgeon who doesn't like superhero flicks, you're at least partly right, because done right, I LOVE THEM. "Spider-Man 2" isn't just my favorite superhero movie, but just one of my favorite movies of all time in any category. And this year alone, though it made next to no money, "Kick-Ass" had all the fun spirit that "Iron Man 2" just squandered after its promising first 20 minutes or so.

And I read that Jon Favreau has his eyes already set firmly on an "Iron Man 3," with Mandarin as the big bad. Well, "Iron Man 2" certainly had to be a setup for something, so I'll give him another chance when that inevitably rolls around, and will be hoping it's a whole lot better than the mixed bag he came up with this time. Peace out.

Free Rip Torn

You know, that title really is apropos of absolutely nothing, but this morning I'm listening to the surprisingly good Lil Flip album "I Need Mine" (yes, really), and its perfectly pleasant morning listening except for the fact that every couple of minutes or so it's interrupted by the phrase "Free Z-Ro."

Now, I have to assume that's some kind of rapper who was in jail at the time, and I've decided to take up the cause and champion someone far too talented (but obviously just perfectly crazy enough) to be locked up: Rip Torn. I'm fairly certain I don't have any power in this area, but I just saw this morning that he pleaded not guilty to armed robbery (who among us hasn't wanted to rob a bank at some point in your life?), and could only think how great it would be to have him somehow come back to life on "30 Rock."

And yes, it's gonna be one of those kind of days around here. Sandwiched among the absurdities will be exactly one piece of serious news, about what sounds like an absolutely fabulous Errol Morris film, and it will all be wrapped up with the 160 best Arnold Schwarzenegger quotes (again, yes really.)

Where in the world would you start things off, however, than with this: The Coen brothers need a one-armed woman to complete filming on their version of "True Grit" (and being a huge fan both of theirs and of author Charles Portis, you can count me as thoroughly psyched for this one.)

If that proves anything, I guess, it's at least that the Coens have no time for CGI (thank God.) Here, courtesy of AICN, is the casting call they put out:

Paramount Pictures is seeking a WOMAN MISSING HER LEFT ARM to be a photo double in the film, TRUE GRIT, a new film by Joel & Ethan Coen.

Character description: Photo double for adult Mattie Ross: This woman must be MISSING HER LEFT ARM. Optimally, she would be around 5'8", 138 lbs, slender to medium build. However, we are open to various looks.

To submit: Please do so asap! Send photos, measurements & contact information to texascasting2010@gmail.com. Photos should be non-glamorous, simple snapshots (incl face and body. It's best to wear a tank top & shorts). Measurements should include height, weight, bust, waist & hips. Include age, phone numbers & place of residence. Approrpriate candidates may also call our office at 512-637-6775.

So, if you happen to be a one-armed woman who's reading this, this is truly your lucky day. Since I'm not one of those, the best thing I can take from that is the phrase "we are open to various looks" ... as long as, of course, you happen to be a one-armed woman. Priceless.

Before going from that to two things that are almost as crazy, why not class things up at least a bit with some Errol Morris news? Though the man has made many great documentaries, my favorites of his are "Mr. Death" (watch that immediately if you haven't seen it) and "Fog of War," movies which offer well-rounded, almost sympathetic portraits of seriously evil or f-ed up people. And it certainly sounds like that's exactly what he has for his new movie.

It seems he's just finished work on something to be called either "Tabloid" or "A Very Special Love Story." No matter what it ends up being titled, it should be just fascinating. The subject is Joyce McKinney, a former Miss Wyoming who, in the late 70s, abducted a Mormon missionary in England, chained him to a bed and forced him to have sex with her. From there, of course, it just gets weirder. After jumping bail, she was convicted in absentia (sp?) to one year in prison because, at the time, there were no laws on the books about raping men. She was later accused of stalking the same dude, and in 2008, took her dog to Korea to be cloned.

Not much to build a sympathetic character out of, I suppose, but I'm betting Morris will at least come very close to doing it. Definitely keep your eyes out for this one, which is rumored to be in the running for this year's Cannes Film Festival.

OK, there will be nothing else remotely serious today from here on out, I promise. Anyone who's been here before (and there may be a few of you) knows that I'm a solid backer of Anna Faris, both for her obvious feminine virtues but even moreso because she's just about the best comedienne out there today. For proof that she can be insanely funny in just about anything, look no further than Jody Hill's "Observe and Report," in which her memorable turn as a seriously bitchy counter girl was just about the only redeeming quality.

Well, she's about to put the "watch her in just about anything" idea to a real test by starring in a remake of "Private Benjamin." In the realm of unnecessary remakes, this is far from the worst offender (my vote there goes to "Let Me In," the upcoming English language remake of "Let the Right One In), and though it surely won't win her an Oscar like it did Goldie Hawn, I'm still betting it could be a hoot. And besides, since I've seen "House Bunny" (and actually enjoyed it more than a bit), the odds are pretty good I'll see this too.

And finally today (or at least before Ahnuld), in the category of a man's gotta eat, it seems that Malcolm D. Lee has signed on to direct "Fantasy Basketball Camp," to star one Lebron James. Take a second to digest just how bad that could be, and then please let me come to the defense of the other Mr. Lee (who, if I'm not mistaken, is indeed some kind of cousin to Spike.)

How many directors can you name who have made three movies that you either love or really like? Well with "Undercover Brother," "Roll Bounce" and "Soul Men," Malcolm D. Lee has in my book, so I'm more than a little willing to give him the benefit of the doubt (and yes, maybe even go see his Lebron James movie too.) If you haven't seen the Bow Wow roller skating flick (once again, yes really) "Roll Bounce" or "Soul Men," which paired the late, great Bernie Mac and Samuel L. Jackson, I highly recommend them both.

OK, how better than to wrap up all that absurdity than with the 160 best Arnold Schwarzenegger quotes? I can't imagine anyone will sit through the entire 10 minutes of this, but as far as time-wasters go, this one is pretty epicly good. My favorite part would have be the "bullshit" compendium, but there's obviously a lot of Ahnuld to choose from. Enjoy this clip courtesy of Pajiba.com, have a perfectly pain-free Wednesday, and, now and forever, free Rip Torn. Peace out.



P.S.: In honor of opening day coming Monday (finally!) enjoy this clip of Steve Wynn singing his simply fabulous tribute to Fernando Valenzuela. Play ball!

Just how long can "Watchmen" really get?

You know, I think I'm almost alone here, but I almost unconditionally loved what Zack Snyder did with "Watchmen".

Now, of course, there are always going to be complaints from fans of the funny book by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons about what was left out, and it seem that Snyder has now taken just about all of those complaints to heart.

After a director's cut, which I bought, that clocks in at a you-would-think-long-enough 178 minutes or so, he's now about to release "Watchmen: The Ultimate Cut" on Nov. 3, which will run for what you would have to hope would be an exhaustive 3 hours and 35 minutes. Whew.

I'm not enough of a sucker to buy this again, especially since my company is offering us furloughs as the latest incentive to keep working there, but I do think I'll at least rent it, because it does seem to be just about as close to the graphic novel on screen in its entirety as we're gonna get (though I know I'm being naive here, and there will surely be an "Ultimate, Ultimate" edition coming sometime soon.)

In this new version, "Tales of the Black Freighter" will be interwoven into the movie, as it should be, but Hollis Mason's autobiography, "Under the Hood," will only be available as a standalone extra. Perhaps coolest of all in the extras will the entire motion comic, which I'd really like to see.

Anyways, call me a sucker if you want, but I think I can spare three-and-a-half-hours or so of my life for what has apparently turned into "Watchmen: The Miniseries".

Two doses of "News of the Weird"

With apologies to Chuck Shepherd, whose News of the Weird we publish most Fridays in the Telegraph, as far as movie news of sorts it doesn't get much weirder than these next two tidbits.

After, and I never would have guessed there were this many, FOUR direct-to-DVD sequels, it seems that "Bring It On" is about to get yet another life on stage as a musical. And no, I'm not making that up.

Now, I will admit that I'm a big fan of the original with Kirsten Dunst, Gabrielle Union and Eliza Dushku, and I've even sat through most of some kind of sequel with both Hayden Panettiere and Beyonce's sister in it on a Saturday afternoon, but I can't imagine any scenario in which I'd pay Broadway prices for another dose. However, if a touring company brings this to Macon's Opera House someday, I have to admit I'd at least be curious.

And in possibly even odder news, Werner Herzog, whose most recent flick was a new take on Abel Ferrera's "Bad Lieutenant" (because Lord knows the world needed that), is now offering classes in "guerilla filmmaking" for $1,450 a weekend.

If I somehow had $1,450 to blow through and was in Los Angeles from Jan. 8-10, I actually bet this would be a lot of fun, especially since he's describing it with typical bravado:

"The Rogue Film School is not for the faint-hearted; it is for those who have travelled on foot, who have worked as bouncers in sex clubs or as wardens in a lunatic asylum, for those who are willing to learn about lock-picking or forging shooting permits in countries not favoring their projects. In short: it is for those who have a sense for poetry. For those who are pilgrims. For those who can tell a story to four-year-old children and hold their attention. For those who have a fire burning within. For those who have a dream."

The beginning of the end for Jay Leno?

Actually, I'm well aware that he's probably indestructible at this point, but it's still interesting to see how he fared with the key 18-49 demographic on Monday night, one week after his big debut. Here are the numbers:

6.5 House
4.6 Big Bang Theory
4.4 Two and a Half Men
4.3 CSI Miami
4.1 Dancing With The Stars
3.5 How I Met Your Mother
3.2 Accidentally On Purpose
2.7 Heroes
2.3 Castle
1.8 The Jay Leno Show
1.2 One Tree Hill
1.1 Gossip Girl

Now, I will admit that I watch "Gossip Girl" as exactly the kind of mindless fluff I need on a Monday night, so I certainly think it's great that Jay not only finished dead last among the shows from the big four networks, but also just barely managed to beat the CW's two offerings. Predictably pathetic. Please keep tuning out!

Fincher's "Facebook" takes shape

Most of this was already pretty well known, I think, but Columbia Pictures has now confirmed the cast for David Fincher's flick "The Social Network," written by Aaron Sorkin and based on the rise of Facebook (which I'm on, somehow.)

In the principal cast, Jesse Eisenberg will play Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, Justin Timberlake will play Napster co-founder and Facebook founding president Sean Parker, and someone I've never heard of named Andrew Garfield will play Eduardo Saverin, the Facebook co-founder who fell out with Zuckerberg over money.

Why should anyone care about any of this? Well, I find the subject kind of fascinating, and I've been rewatching a lot of "Sports Night" lately, which is proof that Aaron Sorkin is an extremely witty guy when he gets things right (and, in its own little way, I think "Sports Night" just might be better than "The West Wing" - blasphemy, I know.)

Steve Coogan alert

I normally wouldn't care one lick about any early news about a Will Ferrell/Adam Mckay comedy, but when you cast Steve Coogan, who would certainly have to be in the discussion if you were actually to try and pick the funniest man on Earth, you've got my ear.

Actually, the whole premise of "The Other Guys" sounds pretty funny. The Rock and Samuel L. Jackson will play supercops who constantly show up a pair of bumbling co-workers to be played by Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg. I wasn't sold, however, until I saw that the great Mr. Coogan has been cast as the arch villain of the piece.

For the best doses of Coogan I can recommend on DVD, try "24-Hour Party People" and "Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story."

Has Diablo Cody lost "it"?

Now, I'm really not someone to kick people when their down (except for maybe Jay Leno), and I admittedly haven't yet seen "Jennifer's Body" (and I'm not sure I will), but if this really is Diablo Cody's next writing project I think the "Juno" scribe has really hit a wall.

It seems she's not set her sights on "Sweet Valley High," the series of novels about (and I'm going on what the trades say here, not having actually read any of them) a set of identical twins "with dissimilar personalities - the sensitive and practical Elizabeth and the flighty and boy-crazy Jessica - in the fictional town of Sweet Valley."

My God does that sound awful, so if you made it this far you certainly deserve a reward. Ricky Gervais' new film, "The Invention of Lying," doesn't open until next week, unfortunately, but here's an odd bit of marketing that only he could come up with. This clip is seven minutes long (and this is only part one), but I guarantee that if you let it get started for a couple of minutes you'll laugh out loud as Gervais' comedy compadre and punching bag Karl Pilkington tries to first review the flick and then offers his rather unique ideas for marketing it. Enjoy, and have a perfectly passable Wednesday. Peace out.

An open apology to the great Mr. Bernie Mac

Actually, the - potentially - greatest news I could find out there this morning is that Warner Bros. has finally given a release date, Oct. 16, 2009, to Spike Jonze's "Where the Wild Things Are." Of course, that says nothing about what the final movie will look like and doesn't mean Warner just won't move it back again, but there's still hope that my favorite story of childhood will make it to the big screen while I'm still drawing breath.

But the main subject here today is an apology to Bernie Mac, whose last movie, "Soul Men," I had snubbed until last weekend. As I'll explain, though, I don't really think it's entirely my fault.

This summer and into the fall has really been pretty solid for comedies, but I had avoided Mac, Samuel L. Jackson and director Malcolm Lee's "Soul Men" because of what has to be just about the worst marketing campaign of all time. Can you remember it? It pretty much scarred my brain for the rest of the year with two of the most tired jokes I've ever heard, one about what happens when poor Jennifer Coolidge removes her dentures (man, does she deserve better) and the other about what happens when Mr. Mac accidentally takes a viagra and gets into bed with Mr. Jackson.

So, you can understand why I've just said no since the movie opened in the first week of November, but this weekend was finally weak enough to make me just give in. I just couldn't bring myself to watch any remake of "The Day the Earth Stood Still," and even with five of my very favorite actors (Luis Guzman, Elizabeth Pena, Alfred Molina, Melonie Diaz and Freddy Rodriguez) in "Nothing Like the Holidays," I also couldn't see taking in what looked like just the most predictable kind of holiday fare. However, neither could I see a fall weekend with no movies.

What it came down to was a choice between "Role Models" and "Soul Men," and my love for Bernie Mac swung me to the latter (how in the world either one is still in theaters remains a mystery, however) and I found there's a lot of good things just under the crude surface in the other Mr. Lee's flick.

If they had just told me (and perhaps I should have been able to figure it out on my own) that this was mostly a sweet buddy road movie in which Mr. Mac and Mr. Jackson drive cross country to reunite at the Apollo Theater as soul duo the Real Deal (and, even better, you get John Legend in a coffin, to boot), I would have been in from the start. Those two dudes are clearly friends and enjoy ribbing each other, and the road leads to very funny scenes like them performing in a country and western bar (complete with Mr. Jackson line dancing.) As a much less funny Adam Herschman says at one point, "They say motherf***er a lot, but they're real nice guys," and that - and support from the always welcome Sharon Leal - is where the flick gets most of its appeal.

Now, don't get me wrong. This is BY NO MEANS a great movie, but it is a really fun one, and well worth a rental when it hits that point (even if this is somehow still playing in a theater near you, too, I'd still wait for DVD.) And a further apology from me to Malcolm Lee, who is, yes, Spike Lee's cousin. He's certainly not making movies that look anything like Spike's, but he's still managed to make three flicks - "Soul Men," "Roll Bounce" and the silly but satisfying "Undercover Brother" - that I really like, so huzzah to that.

Like most of the world, I first found the late, great Bernie Mac in Spike's "Kings of Comedy," and to this day I still can't believe that it was this hilarious but very blue routine that really set up the premise for and landed him his mostly funny sitcom. After a tired couple of minutes of black-white comedy, in this clip he really launches into "his sister's kids" (the 2-year-old is "a shepherd of the devil"), so if you've never seen this watch it with your headphones on if at work and enjoy. And please accept my apology for snubbing your last movie so long, Mr. Mac. Rest in peace.

The fine art of the psychological thriller

First off, a hearty congratulations to "Mad Men" in snagging the Emmy for Best Dramatic Series, but how in the world Jon Hamm didn't win for Best Actor in a Dramatic Series is simply a mystery and more than a small crime. Here today, however, it's all about my favorite flicks in easily one of my favorite subgenres.

Although I found a few charms in Samuel L. Jackson and Neil LaBute's "Lakeview Terrace," it was over all so generic and predictable that I just have to beg out of reviewing it (and since it obliterated everything else out there at the box office, they hardly need my help.)

Instead, here are 10 psychological thrillers that are a lot more subtle than that crowd-pleaser, starting with my all-time favorite and then proceeding in perfectly random order. So, here goes, and as always, please feel free to add any you truly love that I may have omitted (because, after all, I only have time to list 10.)

Death and the Maiden
I think I first watched this Roman Polanski flick based on an Ariel Dorfman play as part of a class at Catholic University, but as I said it has stuck with me as just about the perfect psychological thriller. Though the play is clearly about Augusto Pinochet's reign of terror, Polanski sets the movie in an unnamed third world country where Sigourney Weaver plays a housewife who is convinced that her houseguest, Ben Kingsley, is the man who tortured and raped her in the past. As the triangle between Weaver, Kingsley and Stuart Wilson, who plays Weaver's husband and a prominent attorney, unfolds it will just keep you engrossed until the very end, so see it if you haven't already.

A Simple Plan
Though "Spider-Man 2" is easily the best movie ever made by Sam Raimi, I'd put this little flick starring Billy Bob Thornton, Bill Paxton and Bridget Fonda in second (yes, ahead of "Evil Dead.") I've heard tell that the novel by Scott Smith is even better, but never having read it I can't attest to that, but I can tell you this little flick about the power of money is just a winner.

With a Friend Like Harry
The next two flicks on this list will be French because, well, they do psychological thrillers as good as anybody since Alfred Hitchcock, to whom this flick in particular owes a huge debt. In it, Laurent Lucas and Mathilde Seigner play a middle class couple who have a chance encounter with one of Lucas' old school mates Harry, played with chilling precision by Sergi Lopez. It's fun to watch as Harry slowly brings out all of Lucas' worst impulses, and it must be said for folks who take note of such things that Sophie Guillemin, who plays Harry's girlfriend Plum, is just an insanely beautiful woman.

Man on the Train
If I'm not mistaken, it was Ashok who kindly recommended this Patrice Leconte flick starring the French singer Johnny Hallyday and the great actor Jean Rochefort, and I'm certainly glad he did. In it, Hallyday plays a man who comes to a small town with the intention of robbing the main bank and Rochefort is a retired schoolteacher who takes him in as a boarder. It becomes a bit ponderous as they each start to examine the life choices they have made, and the end is just completely crazy (in all the best ways), but I can also recommend this one to anyone who hasn't seen it yet.

Apt Pupil
It's more than a little bitterly funny that the late Brad Renfro, who only managed to make it to the age of 25, almost made this list twice with both this mindbender and "Bully," a thoroughly terrifying flick from Larry Clark which just missed the cut. In this Bryan Singer flick based on the Stephen King short story, a very young Renfro plays a boy who finds out the old man down the street (the great Sir Ian McKellen) may just happen to be a rather notorious Nazi war criminal.

Hard Candy
What in the world ever happened to Ellen Page? I skipped the only movie I know she was in this year, "Smart People," but it certainly would be nice to see her on the big screen more often since "Juno." It was this truly chilling flick that first brought her to many people's attention, and in it she plays a teen who lures an Internet perv (Patrick Wilson, who also stars in "Lakeview Terrace") into a trap and just tortures him without mercy. It's almost as uncomfortable to watch as it is simply entertaining as hell, and Page is just fantastic in it.

Rosemary's Baby
Since this one doubles as my favorite horror flick, and is a second entry from Roman Polanski, it was a natural fit for this list. Michael Bay and his fellow felons actually have their eyes on remaking this one (along with "The Birds" and who knows how many other horror classics), but there's no way they'll even come to close to what Polanski created from Ira Levin's pulpy tale of an aspiring actor (John Cassavetes) who offers his wife's (Mia Farrow) first child to the couple next door, who just happen to worship Satan. Ruth Gordon and Sidney Blackmer are just hilarious as the leaders of the little Satanic cult down the hall.

Memento
All the tricks that Christopher Nolan had perfected by the time he made "The Dark Knight" were honed in this little trip starring Guy Pearce as a guy with short-term memory loss who tries to piece together the details of his wife's death using notes and tattoos. "Insomnia," which Nolan made just after this one, is almost as good, but Pearce's singular performance just elevates it a notch above.

Manchurian Candidate
If Jonathan Demme's 2004 version of this hadn't been a remake of John Frankenheimer's classic, the latter one would have been a perfectly pleasant little political thriller. When compared with the original, however, it just can't stand up to what Frank Sinatra, Laurence Harvey and Angela Lansbury delivered in this slightly flawed but still great flick about those pesky Communists and their predilection for mind control.


Shallow Grave
Whew, last one, but if this were in any order of preference I'd probably have this Danny Boyle flick right below "Death and the Maiden." Even more so than "Trainspotting," this tale of money and greed starring Ewan McGregor, Kerry Fox (man would it be great to see her again!) and Christopher Eccleston established Boyle as easily one of my favorite directors, and I can't wait to see what he's cooked up this year with "Slumdog Millionaire."

And there you have it. As I said, please feel free to add any of your favorites, and have a perfectly passable Monday. Peace out.

What to watch: I'll glady be menaced by Sam the Man and annoyed with Ricky Gervais

Even with two movies opening wide this week that I really want to see, it still just seems like an appetizer for the feast that will hopefully be coming next week.

If wide really does mean wide (which way too often simply isn't true), we get Sept. 26 three movies that I've just been waiting a long time to see: Fernando Meirelles' "Blindness", Spike Lee's "Miracle at St. Anna" and Clark Gregg's "Choke," starring Sam Rockwell and Kelly MacDonald and based on the novel by "Fight Club" scribe Chuck Palahniuk. All three have been heavily advertised on TV all week, so I have my hopes very high they'll all reach my little corner of the world in week one.

But before that, we get a fairly remarkable five movies opening in wide-release land this week, two of which I'll actually be going to see. Here, in descending order of appeal, are this week's offerings:

"Ghost Town"
In designing a flick that should finally show that "Office" mastermind Ricky Gervais can indeed topline a flick that appeals to American audiences, the makers of this one have apparently just made a movie in which he will essentially play himself, which is just fine with me. In it, he plays a dentist who's pretty much annoyed with everything and everyone around him until he has a near-death experience and ends up seeing dead people who annoy him just as much as the living variety. That premise has me laughing already, and even better I can't wait to see what Gervais can do in 2009 with his big writing/directing movie effort, the rather seriously star-laden "This Side of the Truth."

"Lakeview Terrace"'
Ever wonder what happened to writer/director Neil Labute? I had forgotten all about him until I noticed his name attached to this fairly standard looking thriller that still might be a cut above the rest of the pack. In fact, a quick look at the IMDB revealed I haven't seen any of his flicks since 2000's "Nurse Betty," which was fairly entertaining. Here he's got Samuel L. Jackson as a rather pissed-off L.A.P.D. officer who gets more annoyed than usual (sense a pattern here?) when he finds out an interracial couple played by Patrick Wilson and Kerry Washington has moved in next door. I'm hoping there's more than enough gray in this black-and-white flick to make it interesting, and I'm still just a sucker for seeing Mr. Jackson be a serious badass.

"Igor"
An animated flick released after the kids are back in school? Never a good sign. In this one, John Cusack provides the voice of the titular mad scientist's assistant Igor, who just wants to be the master of his own lab. Sounds like a fairly promising premise, but early word is the story isn't enough to lure me in, even with John Cleese and Steve Buscemi in supporting voice roles.

"Beer for My Horses"
I'm not sure if this one really is playing everywhere in the U.S. or is just one of those little redneck flicks that they trot out only here in the South. Either way, I'm at least glad it's not an hour-and-a-half-or-so of Toby Keith threatening to kick everyone's ass. Instead, written by Keith and Rodney Carrington (an annual fixture on Macon's comedy club scene), it's the story of two buddies who team up to take on a corrupt sheriff and rescue one of their damsels from the distress of being kidnapped by drug lords. Somehow I'm sure I have the strength to just say no.

"My Best Friend's Girl"
Isn't the actual name of the rather cool Cars song that this flick steals its title and theme song from "My Best Friend's Girlfriend"? It's bad enough when you can't even get that right, but when you throw in three truly annoying (there it is again!) people - Dane Cook, Kate Hudson and Jason Biggs - in what looks like a "romantic comedy" that won't be remotely funny or romantic, you've just got a recipe for disaster. For some reason I thought Mr. Cook was in "The 40-year-old Virgin," but I'm mistaken, and it turns out I've never seen any of the "comedian's" movies. I'm 100 percent certain that streak will still be intact after this weekend.

Reel Fanatic poll results
It may not be as scientific as a Gallup poll, but I was happy to see 33 people cast 62 votes in my question about which Fall movies they're most looking forward to. And it turned out that every flick except "Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys" got at least one vote (I almost voted for that one myself just because I like Mr. Perry so much and hate to see him slighted). The top vote-getter is no surprise, but I didn't expect to see such strong support for "The Road" and a few other flicks. Anyways, here's the results, after which I'll just sign off and wish everyone a perfectly passable Thursday.

Top winner: 7 votes
"Quantum of Solace"

Second place: 6 votes
"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"
"The Road"


Third place: 5 votes
"Burn After Reading"
"Slumdog Millionaire" (huzzah!)
"Zack and Miri Make a Porno"

4 votes:
"Miracle at St. Anna"
"Blindness"

3 votes:
"Synecdoche, N.Y."
"Milk"
"Choke"

2 votes:
"W."
"Australia"
"Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist"

1 vote:
"Towelhead"
"Rocknrolla"
"Frost/Nixon"
"City of Ember"

When bad movies happen to good people

This may seem like an odd choice for a list, but it came to me as I surveyed the rather depressing slate of new releases this weekend in wide-release world.

Though I can finally, and will, go see "There Will Be Blood" again, the other choices just do nothing but make me cringe, which in two cases is a real shame because the flicks star two people who I really like.

Paul Rudd almost managed to walk away with "Knocked Up" even though he was surrounded by a slew of very funny people, but I just don't think there's any way I'll be able to watch him sleepwalk through "Over My Dead Body" this weekend. Likewise, Steve Zahn's performance as Glenn Michaels in "Out of Sight" stands up as one of my favorites, but is there really anything that can be good about "Strange Wilderness," which, as far as I can tell, appears to be a stoner comedy about Bigfoot?

This dose of the January movie blues got me to thinking about actors and actresses I usually like and their most regrettable (in my eyes, at least) movie roles. Here goes:

Billy Bob Thornton
Just how bad was Billy Bob in "School for Scoundrels"? I think the answer can be summed up thusly: Even worse than Jon Heder, who has been basically playing an increasingly lame version of "Napoleon Dynamite" since that extremely likable flick thrust him upon the world. There's just not one good thing I can say about this thoroughly unnecessary Todd Phillips remake, so please don't rent it for any reason whatsoever.

Kirsten Dunst
It feels a little rotten to pick on Ms. Dunst so severely, but a look through her movie resume turned up three movie I just can't stand, even though I still do like her most of the times she turns up in movies. The big three: "Spider-Man 3," in which she looked just as miserable as everyone else in Sam Raimi's disaster; "Marie Antoinette," which was just one of the most empty movies I've seen in many, many years, and "Elizabethtown." In regards to the latter, I have just one question: How in the world could you (the formerly great Cameron Crowe) manage to make a movie in which Kirsten Dunst flirts on the phone whilst taking a bath, and still manage to have it just suck from start to finish?

Tim Roth and Naomi Watts
OK, I haven't seen "Funny Games," Michael Haneke's English-language remake of his own movie, yet, but I've seen the rather wretched trailer so many times now that it feels like I've seen the flick at least twice. I'll never bother to see the real thing, so if you do and there's some redeeming value here that I'm just missing please let me know.

Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston
Did anyone enjoy "The Break-Up"? When it comes to romantic "comedies" I usually have little time for flicks that delight the masses, but here's one case where just about everyone I know just hated watching Vince and Jen yell at each other for 90 minutes. Just an amazingly bad movie.

Paul Giamatti
OK, we're getting into a stretch here of people who it really pains me to include on this list, but when you appear in a movie as bad as "Lady in the Water" I really can't give you a pass. Granted, Mr. Giamatti did work very hard to try and save this, but M. Night's "fairy tale" just had very little wonder to it at all and was, frankly, just a tremendous bore.

Samuel L. Jackson
I decided to give both Sam the man and Christina Ricci a pass for "Black Snake Moan" because, as much as I just detested that Craig Brewer movie, I'm willing to concede that maybe I just didn't get it. With "Freedomland," however, I can state unequivocally that Mr. Jackson just made a horrendous choice. Richard Price has written some fairly great books, but this flick which also starred Julianne Moore just had no business ever getting made.

Catherine Keener
I love Catherine Keener more than just about any actress (except for maybe Laura Linney) in the entire world, but Nicole Holofcener's "Friends With Money" just made me want to claw my own eyes out to make it stop. The duo have made two much better movies in "Lovely & Amazing" and "Walking and Talking," and they're set to collaborate again soon on something that's still just called an "untitled Nicole Holofcener project," so there's plenty of great stuff coming and already here to help wipe this blight from my memory.

Audrey Tautou
I made a pledge to myself to never watch "The Da Vinci Code" which I unfortunately broke once the movie came out on DVD. I really have to learn to trust my instincts a lot more, because although the movie as a whole was one big stinker, watching Amelie just mope her way through it made it all the more painful to watch.

And there you have it. Two that didn't make the cut simply because I still have to end this at some point and go to my paying job were Penelope Cruz in "Vanilla Sky" and Owen Wilson in "The Darjeeling Limited." Please feel free to add any movies that have just made stars you like look really bad, and let me know if there's any reason at all to go see either "Over Her Dead Body" or "Strange Wilderness" this weekend. Peace out.