So sick of being the chauffeur

      I am sick of being the one to drive everyone - when ever they want. I have put a stop to it - but every once family function I still get told to "go get Aunt Carol" - and I refuse and this causes people to be mad at me.
       Look, I don't care if she does not want to drive...she can and she does when she wants to go badly enough.  She drives to work everyday and long distances to see her sister. But every fucking time she is to get together with mom or come to our house it's " Andi needs to come get me."  Umm, I  LIVE here, I am already at the get together site and I need to give up two hours of my fucking holiday to cart your ass around??? Drive your own fucking self!!!!! And you can never leave when you want to - you have to call a half hour before you want to leave and ASK if it's convenient for her to leave now...wait a half hour for her to "get ready" and then leave - and still wait because she's never ready.  If you make the plans to be somewhere at X time - and it takes Y time to  get there and someone is doing you the favor getting your ass - thereby of  giving you more of their day-you be ready  when they want NOT when your damned good and ready!
       Yesterday we were supposed to go to Olive Garden - we needed to be there at 6. Mom announces at 5 that we need to pick up Aunt Carol at 5:30.  I responded with _ I will take my own car. Que mom getting pissed off - and me more so ( mainly because mom is pissed at me rather than her entitled sister) and I insisted on taking my own car. Mom left at 5:20 and I left at 5:50..still made it at 6 and still made if before mom and Aunt Carol...because Aunt Carol was not ready and needed mom to do a chore or two for her. Did I mention that mom is 15 years older than Aunt Carol?
   Which brings me to another reason I  RESENT being the designated chaffeur-- the fucking extras people have no problem demanding when you are already doing them a large favor.  It's NEVER as simple as go, they walk out the door and you leave. It's  get there, wait for them to finish getting ready, wait for them to also do X,Y,Z or they tell you to do X,Y,Z , they go take care of getting the mail, ect ---and a good chunk of time has passed before you actually leave.  Aunt Carol has no problem handing me a scrapping and telling me to scrape ( of snow and ice)  her car -- when I am already driving her, or to clean the cat boxes or whatever. Yeah, I am done with it. Other folks state "since we are out I need to stop by this store, that store, pick up the dry cleaning and drop this off at friend's house"  And then they get put out when you refuse ( politely).   Umm, I am not a fucking taxi, car cleaner, whathaveyou. Find another way or another ride.
   So as I was waiting for our table and before mom and Aunt Carol got there, I was leaning against a pole - Aunt carol walks in and walks INTO me, and leans against the same pole, so close that she is now in physical contact with me ---and then gets offended when I move. I really wanted to tell her to go to hell.
  Then she started in on my not wearing a coat. And my nephew not wearing a coat.....we're adults. I am 52, nephew is 31 we can decide for ourselves when to wear coats! My mother does not even comment but the bitch aunt  should. Yeah,,lady shut the fuck up!!!!  So I walked away - and she's all like where do you thinkk you're going? again I am an adult I don't have to ask permission to leave the area.
   So dinner is done, we leave and I go for a drive.... and STILL get home before mom- by an hour and a half. Why because the entitled aunt had MORE stuff she wanted done and 'You weren't there to do them."  FUCK THAT NOISE.
  and it is like this ev.er.y. time. I. drive.   No more,,,from now on you want to go somewhere you get your damned ass there yourself.

Fighting with mom again

         Mom and I have been fighting.        We were discussing my job search and finances. It did not go well. Mom started in about my appearance: I am overweight, have long hair and a bit of facial hair.  Now none of this bothers me ---but it bothers mom a LOT. She brings it up and harangues me about it every time she can. I am sick of it and it HURTS. I get very hurt and angry when she does ---I have told her that and she tells me that"It's for my own good.  Sigh.
  this time she started in on my hair and I got scissors and tossed them at her and told her if she hates my hair she can cut it.  And then left for several hours.
    I am so sick of this shit...I have lost 27lbs since November. My favorite singer noticed it for gosh sakes!!!
  My hair I like long and my facial hair I cut immediately before an interview - otherwise it's too short to take off...mom thinks I should burn it off like my grandmother did. HONESTLY! that and my father are the ONLY things my mother ever agreed with my grandmother on.
   grrrr.
  I need a job. So much of this would end if I only had a job.
 

This would be teh one woman, I never want to meet

Where did this country go so wrong? But for once I agree with "baba wawa"

This is for all the kids born in the 70's who do
Not remember, and didn't have to bear the
Burden that our fathers, mothers and older
Brothers and sisters had to bear.


Jane Fonda is being honored as one of the
"100 Women of the Century."
BY BARBRA WALTERS


Unfortunately, many have forgotten and still
countless others have never known how Ms.
Fonda betrayed not only the idea of our country,
but specific men who served and sacrificed
During Vietnam .



The first part of this is fro m an F-4E pilot


The pilot's name is Jerry Driscoll , a River Rat.


In 1968, the former Commandant of the USAF Survival School
was a POW in the Ho Lo Prison, the "Hanoi Hilton.
!

Dragged from a stinking cesspit of a cell,
cleaned, fed, and dressed in clean PJ's, he was
ordered to describe for a visiting American
"Peace Activist" the "lenient and humane
treatment" he'd received.


He spat at Ms. Fonda , was clubbed, and was
Dragged away.
During the subsequent beating, he fell forward
on to the camp Commandant 's feet, which
sent that officer berserk.


In 1978, the Air Force Colonel still suffered from
double vision (which permanently ended his
flying career) from the Commandant's frenzied
application of a wooden baton.


From 1963-65, Col. Larry Carrigan was in the
47FW/DO (F-4E's). He spent 6 years in the
"Hanoi Hilton", the first three of which his
family only knew he was "missing in action".
His wife lived on faith that he was still alive.
His group, too, got the cleaned-up, fed and
clothed routine in preparation for a
"peace delegation" visit.
They, however, had time and devised a plan to
get word to the world that they were alive
and still survived. Each man secreted a tiny
piece of paper, with his Social Security Number
on i t, in the palm of his hand.


When paraded before Ms. Fonda and a
cameraman, she walked the line, shaking each
man's hand and asking little encouraging
snippets like: "Aren't you sorry you bombed
babies?" and "Are you grateful for the humane
treatment from your benevolent captors?"
Believing this HAD to be an act, they each
palmed her their sliver of paper.
She took them all without missing a beat. At the
end of the line and once the camera stopped
rolling, to the shocked disbelief of the POWs,
she turned to the officer in charge and handed
him all the little pieces of paper.


Three men died from the subsequent beatings.
Colonel Carrigan was almost number four
but he survived, which is the only reason we
know of her actions that day.


I was a civilian economic development advisor
in Vietnam , and was captured by the North
Vietnamese communists in South Vietnam in
1968, and held prisoner for over 5 years.


I spent 27 months in solitary confinement; one
year in a cage in Cambodia ; and one year
in a "black box" in Hanoi
My North Vietnamese captors deliberately
poisoned and murdered a female missionary, a
nurse in a leprosarium in Ban me Thuot, South
Vietnam , whom I buried in the jungle near the
Cambodian border.
At one time, I weighed only about 90 lbs.
(My normal weight is 170 lbs.)



We were Jane Fonda 's "war criminals."


When Ja! ne Fonda was in Hanoi , I was asked by
the camp communist political officer if I would
be willing to meet with her.


I said yes, for I wanted to tell her about the real
treatment we POWs received... And how
different it was from the treatment purported by
the North Vietnamese, and parroted by her as
"humane and lenient."


Because of this, I spent three days on a rocky
floor on my knees, with my arms outstretched
with a large steel weights placed on my hands,
And beaten with a bamboo cane.


I had the opportunity to meet with Jane Fonda
soon after I was released. I asked her
if she would be willing to debate me on TV.
She never did answer me.


These first-hand experiences do not exemplify
someone who should be honored as part
of "100 Years of Great Women."
Lest we forget..." 100 Years of Great Women"
should never include a traitor whose hands are
covered with the blood of so many patriots.


There are few things I have strong visceral
reactions to, and Hanoi Jane's participation in
blatant treason, is one of them.
Please take the time to forward to as many
people as you possibly can.
It will eventually end up on her computer and
she needs to know that we will never forget.
RONALD D. SAMPSON , CMSgt, USAF
716 Maintenance Squadron, Chief of
Maintenance
DSN: 875-6431
COMM: 883-6343

So sick of it all.

School is coming to an end. I don't feel good about this semester at.all. Not. at.all. I am sick and tired of being stressed and ticked off all the time. Most of the ticked off-edness is at the music teacher I just dropped. I just can't seem to let go of the anger. So I am writing about it here...as it is affecting everything else in my life. Stupid, eh? I put up with his sit for years with good graces and now I can't let go of it? Wonder what that's about. I hurt inside, I hate giving up on dreams - I hate that I can't play as well as I want but I am convinced if the damned teacher would answer questions and listen to what I was trying to say - or even let me play over the past year or so. Why practice if you are out and out banned from playing the pieces you like, or even trying them? And yes, I am an adult...and did play the things I like, but the same pieces over and over and never having questions answered about techniques does not lead to even the smallest progress. I needed feedback got not, and no real teaching. Sigh. Just recordings, and work from the recordings - like that really gives feed back. I am tired and heart sore. How does one get over the death of a dream? So many people have gone through so much,,,and come out so much better than I...not angry and wanting to slap something. Can't do that...but is anger violence of another sort and how does one release it it harmlessly? Sigh. The world does not need more anger. It needs healing, I need healing from this and so much else- but the first step is to let go and forgive. how to do that, how to do that?

Sigh,,,,Music Lesson Woes.

I am writing this because I am dropping lessons with GregXXXXX, and I thought I should let folks know what led to this. While Greg has many good points as a teacher, I no longer feel emotionally “safe” in his presence – and this has been the situation for some time. He openly mocks what the type of music I like and that I want to play, he discourages me from the pieces I enjoy practicing – even if they are in *addition* to what our lessons consist of, rather than instead of ( and I always do what he asks, even to the point of taking dance lessons, ect). He tries to discourage me from continuing to try and play with others, or even working towards that goal. He refuses to control the flow of students so that one is not overstaying into another student’s time. Nor will he deal with children who are being disturbances to a student’s lesson, but becomes upset when a paying student expects these interruptions dealt with – a private lesson should be just that = private. Last night when some lady came and just opened the door and started talking with “What ya doing, Gregg” he chatted to her about the new recorder I had just purchased (at his repeated suggestion) and explained to her (much more than to me, although he tries to claim, he was also explaining to me – during my “private” lesson) and then when I asked why this was allowed, he said “Don’t take it out on me, I can’t control what happens!” – That is his job, to say “I am teaching now, I can’t talk” – so I put my chair in front of the door so we could not be interrupted again – and again he got ticked. My position should have made no difference – as he was recording as he does most lessons, I did not need to even see the exercise as he was the only one playing. At the end of the lesson he tapped on my iPhone (I have no problem with him touching it but,) and told me I can no longer record the lessons on it. I have been recording my lessons since AT LEAST January of 2008 – mainly because of his antics. Many times I have left in tears because of his statements in lessons….Many times I started significantly late because the student before me does not want to leave, he has used my lesson time to write out work for the student before me – and he’s also nodded off during my lessons on several occasions. He has also walked out of a lesson because I asked a question he did not like. He decided that it was “disrespectful” when he knew it was something I had asked about several times before, but never explained. Also on the subject of lessons, for most of my lessons for the past year or so _ I have done nothing more than sit and listen while he records, which would be fine once in a while…but rarely do I get to play ( and there for get actual feedback – feedback is rare and has been for ages.). Back on the subject of the “lesson” of 12-4-13, after he told me I could no longer record, I told I was going to (again because of his past actions and statements on revious occasions) and he told me he would not teach me anymore, so I left the handouts from that days lesson, and left – I asked for Rudy,, and then Rose and on being told they were not there I asked for who was in charge. Peter Gerace, said he was and I told him that Greg was not going to teach me anymore and Greg came out and said something. I don’t know what. At some point I reached my car – only to have Greg follow me out and try to hand me the papers I had left – I refused and he reached in the car and tossed them on the seat. I picked them up and went inside – because I was not having a confrontation with a much larger man outside on the street. And he followed me back in started talking again about how rude I am, he then informed me that he will only “teach” by recording on one specific recorder, that allows him to start and stop it and cut out the interstitial conversations where he insults and disparages. and when he left his parting comment was “Look at how good you are after 7 years. 7 Years. That will tell you everything.” And left. So he took time out of another student’s lesson to argue and insult someone who had already left. He claims he “always treats me with respect” but I have recordings of him actively discouraging me – so much so that I asked someone else to listen to the lessons in case I was mis-interpreting what he was saying – she had the same impression, that he was actively being insulting. I also have comments he hand wrote in my notebook, mocking the type of music I like – changing the name of pieces, changing the name of the geographic area, ect. While these things may not seem like much on a time basis….they are continual and as such amount to a much larger problem. This is not a person I feel safe being alone in a room with – I have had enough of being bullied by him. Therefore, although I am sad to do so, I am discontinuing my lessons. I have enjoyed my years of lessons at Village and most of your staff is wonderful, but I unless there is another violin teacher who will not mock student’s aspirations and musical preferences – then I cannot see my staying with Greg- or any violin teacher who will not let me record with the recorder that does all the interstitial conversations. I have not had the need to record with any other teacher but after studying with Greg, I feel it is necessary with a violin teacher- both because of the fear of their comments and the complexity of the lessons (I can’t take notes in a music lesson), I need to be able to have something to refer to at home.

Haven't written in a Long Time

I haven't written in forever it seems. School is a pain this semester --- HTML will be the death of me, I swear. KompoZer and Dreamweaver are no better. My History class is great, tho. I love it so far. I miss Lydia's classes tho.

I've also been sick for the past week- not sure with what, but I am miserable.
No real job yet, but i am working on it sigh

Adventures at the Y - bad ones.

There is a real issue at the Buffalo - Niagara YMCA with parents bringing their kids in the ADULT dressing rooms. Now the families have 3 others to use, ( boys, girls, and family) but some of the special snowflakes bring their kids ( both boys and girls as old as 10) into the one that is set aside for adults 19 and over. I am a Master Key Member and I have seen this at every branch in Erie County. So when an adult woman goes to swim - she gets to be an impromptu peepshow for any kid who wanders through. Staff is unresponsive and even complicit. Today the cleaning staff escorted a mother and child into the adult locker room and told me "It's ok." NO, It's Not! It has been made clear, that I can not use the family locker room - where there is more privacy, because I am not a parent with a child. The children's locker rooms have notices that no adult with out a child is allowed in the children's locker rooms. ( and I have been told several times that an adult in there will loose their membership "for the safety of children") BUT it's ok some how for kids to be in the adult women's locker room? This is a land mine for the adults, all that has to happen is for one parent to get upset at a woman in there and claim that they were flashing the kids - and that adult's life is ruined. But somehow this is an acceptable risk for adults to have FORCED on them. I've complained to corporate twice now and get lip service about how they will "deal with it" yet it continues. Today I was told that the "can't do anything about it." and that one guy wishes he could "do something because he's sick of hearing the complaints" --- so helpful. So very helpful. I love to swim - I need to exercise. But I really don't want to risk jail because some entitled parent brought her kid into an adult locker and got offended at the sight of women changing out of their swimsuits. I am so unimpressed with the Y and their response to this.

2013 WIPocalypse 1st post

I've joined the 2013 WIPocalypse so I need to post my projects

 1) 2 cross- stitched squares for the Sandy Hook Quilts.

 2) cross stitch a space shuttle square for nephew's quilt

 3) Ryan's afghan - reworked from last year

 4) Angel cards

 5) Stewart's afghan

 6) Lucy's Afghan

Great Walk with Julie.

Julie, a colleague from SEW, and I have been walking every Wednesday for the past month or so. It's so great seeing her and even better because she tells me about her work and I get to hear about my folks again.
Another plus is that I am getting up, getting moving and it's motivating me to get exercising on other days too. I am now exercising 3-4 days a week for an hour at a time.
But the best part is transforming a work relationship into a friendship. I never thought I'd say such a thing, but Julie's amazing.

If you can't go out to dinerr with out assaulting someone one

Don't go out to dinner.

I went to Alton's last night. We got seated next to the window and the people in the booth next to us we obnoxious. Loud to the point where we could barely talk,ourselves..I know them intimately now if you know what I mean. They were already done when we got there - they asked our waitress for a box while she was still talking to us. And they stayed through most of our dinner. Talking very loudly.
When they were ready to leave the loudest of the bunch walked over to me and grabbed my arm. Not touched, not gently tapped, grabbed me hard enough to leave imprints of all of her fingers in my arm, a half hour later they were still there,, she grabbed me so hard. And told me me that I needed to move..because the woman who was hitting my chair all through my dinner wanted to get out. No, pleasantries - no whatever, just move. and she tried to lift me out of the chair.
Look, I don't care what your problem is - if you can't go out to dinner with out assaulting someone - stay the freak home.

Gotta Love Google

Try this one yourself.

Google Maps

Walking Directions

Type in The Shire where is asks from
and Mordor where it asks to

and let google do it's thing.



Tolkien would love it.

Posted This on George Takei's FB page a while ago

In response to slang words describing developmentally disabled people being used as insults towards those who beat a gay man. Frankly - I lost a lot of respect for Takei on this one. IF you want people to respect what you are - you need to extend the same respect to others.

This is deplorable hate every where is deplorable....including the hate in this thread. You're all very righteous in your indignation but you're not seeing where you are feeding the hate in our world with your name calling. For instance:
6 February at 20:13 · Like · 1
Andi Andrzejewski
faggot - in at least one post as an insult

Fucktard= contraction of fucking retard,in one post...because using someone's medical diagnosis as an isult is hateful.

imbicile = a word used to descibe a particular group of people with moderate to severe developmental disabilities...again hateful to use a medical condition as an insult

morons,braindead= again medical diagnosis as insults

idiot = see above

pussies - so it's ok to use slang for woman's body parts as insults.

douchebaga===um ok so now womewn's hygine utensiles are ok to use as insults.
6 February at 20:13 · Like · 1
Andi Andrzejewski Shame on all of you using and tolerating such words. And while I stand againd against the actions and words in this video I also stand against the words used here.
6 February at 20:14 · Like · 4
Andi Andrzejewski
Ronny.....why do you think they needed to change because people liked to use them as insults. We keep coming up with new terms,because folks use these definitions as insults and as hate. Calling someone idiot, imbecile, moron is no different than calling them a retard...which is now having to be legislated out of medical use because people like to use that as an insult. ( Rosa's Law, ever heard of it? )- and I have recently heard kids use the terms developmentally disabled and autistic as insults -- so do we have to loose more terms to the haters? All of the words I objected to are words that have been used to describe people that are different. No I will not stop calling for an end to the use of medical diagnosis as insults. Just because people of hate have made these words insults does not change their original meaning. Using these words is not that different from any other word that is being objected to here.
I am surprised and saddened that Mr Takei, allows words like that here. You can slam me all you want but words do matter and their meanings don't change just because you want them too, or because they are used as slang for stupid, if you look up those words in Webster's the FIRST definition pertains to those with mental disabilities...so my point stands and your objection reveals more about you than it does me - or those you are using as insults.
6 February at 22:10 · Like · 2

waiting for grades

I took my last exam last Thursday. I am just waiting for the results - grades due Friday the 18th. I am so worried. sigh.

Finals Week

I turned in my last paper today. Thursday I have my last exam. Now comes the hard work of finding a job.
The main problem I have right now now is that I am so angry and I have no real idea why. Sometimes I am not even angry about something I am just angry, no wonder I have high blood pressure at the moment...gotta get that down. Gotta exercise and loose weight and adjust my attitude. For my own sake.
Maybe a break from school will help. Maybe exercise will help. I don't know. Sigh