"You're Still Pretty."

"you're still pretty."  actually, no.  i'm still tryna figure out whether or not that's a compliment.

annnnnyway, i'm really loving my new 'do.  it's been a week since my big chop, and i have to say (a bit surprisingly even) it's been all positive.  and i actually didn't know how sensitive i was to others' opinions until i was so moved by the overwhelmingly positive responses of friends, arts fam, and strangers alike.

"positive" includes the weird responses of people i'm assuming mean well, like "oh, but you could put a pig on your head and still look good."  why, exactly, would i put a pig on my head?

now i'm just trying to decide whether i'm keeping it low or growing it out.  initially i was going to wear it low for a few months and then let it grow.  but i'm kinda liking the feeling of just letting my hair be itself, un-tampered with.  this, of course, without having yet experienced the inevitable awkward phase.  meh.  we'll see.

be.  fly.
rhythm

Wine. India Arie. Scissors.

...i'm havin' a private party.  ain't nobody here but me, my angels, and my guitar, singing "baby, look how far we've come, yeah."  i'm havin' a private party.  learnin' how to love me.  celebratin' the woman i've become... -India Arie "Private Party"

wine.  India Arie.  scissors.

i cut my locs.  i've been thinking about it for a while now, and for some reason, i finally decided on today.  so i set an appointment with a barber for tomorrow morning.  then i got to work.

i made sure to fit in a couple of stereotypes along the way...i had starting singing "Private Party" to myself on the way home, so i knew i had to listen before the cut.  lit some incense.  poured myself some wine.  found a Law & Order marathon.  said a prayer.  and commenced to cutting what remained of almost 8 years of growth (i had about 6 inches trimmed over a year ago).

i feel good.  aside from a few folks via cell phone shots, no one's seen me yet.  i'll be able to process more about how i feel once i take this new head out for a spin (and actually get a professional cut).  to add to the collection of stereotypes...i definitely feel a sense of peace and renewal.  and the weight of a lot of energy has definitely been released.

 





 









 







 






 








 

 











...celebratin' the woman i've become...

"Don't You Wish You Had Hair Like This? Then the Boys Would Give You a Kiss"...

talkin' 'bout good and bad hair...whether you're dark or you're fair...go on and stare, see if i care...good and bad hair...
-jigaboos and wannabes, from spike lee's "school daze"

it's time to cut my locs.  off.  i've had them for 7 1/2 years.  colored them a handful of times.  cut about 6 inches off over a year ago.  carried all kinds of experience, growth, and trauma in them (yes, that thing you hear "dreads" or people with locs say about carrying energy in our hair is very true).  it's time.

and the backlash that has ensued upon this declaration?  bananas.  some people simply say "but [your locs] are a part of you."  others have gone so far as to say a woman's beauty is in her hair.  unfortunately, i've tired of the latter response to women's hair in general that i rarely dignify it with a response at this point.  i do realize that some people simply think my hair is pretty and aren't ready to deal with change.  i also realize that the majority of the people who have reacted negatively are coming from a much more twisted perspective.

what i've been suprised to find is that even for natural hair, many people have european standards for what is considered beautiful.  my shoulder-length locs hold more value [to those people] than a TWA ever could.  conversely, when i first cut the perm out of my hair in the spring of 2002, resulting in my hair being that very length before i started my locs, that was THE first time i felt truly beautiful.  so the naysayers don't bother me.  well, i should say they don't affect my decision to cut.  but the fact that they've placed long locs above a short natural on their oppressive hierarchy of "good hair" is beyond bothersome.  we need to do better, people.

it's one thing to have beautiful hair.  it's a whole other thing for one's beauty to be defined by his or her hair (or any other feature, for that matter).  simply put, if your beauty lies in your hair, then your beauty is a lie.

be.  fly.
rhythm