When Did Respect Become Negotiable?

There was a time when respect wasn’t up for debate. You didn’t need a blue check, a big platform, or a viral moment—just character. People earned respect by how they carried themselves, not by how many people were watching.

But somewhere along the way, respect turned into a popularity contest. We started confusing attention with value. If someone’s rich, loud, or trending, they get treated like royalty. Meanwhile, decency has to beg for a seat at the table. 

Here’s the truth: respect isn’t about admiration—it’s about acknowledgment. You don’t have to like everyone, but you should respect the boundaries and principles that keep chaos from becoming culture.

We’ve confused attention with value. We’ve mistaken noise for worth. And in doing so, we’ve let the loudest voices rewrite the rules. Respect used to be the floor. Now people act like it’s a reward you unlock after going viral.

But here’s the thing: when respect becomes negotiable, so does every standard that keeps society from spiraling out of control. Manners matter. Boundaries matter. Dignity matters. Not because everyone’s flawless—but because everyone’s human.

So let’s bring back basic respect. Not the performative kind. Not the clout-chasing kind. The kind that doesn’t need a spotlight to show up. The kind that reminds us we’re all sharing the same space—and nobody’s too important to be decent.

Unhappiness is Contagious

I’ve met a ton of unhappy people in my life. People who will suck the life right out of you. And before you misunderstand, let me clarify: the “unhappy” I’m talking about isn’t the kind of sadness you feel when something genuinely tragic happens. For example, the loss of a beloved pet. No, the kind of unhappiness I mean is deeper and more insidious: “My life sucks, and I won’t feel better about myself until yours does too.”

(Side note: I've always wanted to use the word "insidious" in a sentence.)

Whether in my career or personal relationships, I’ve encountered people whose sole purpose seems to be to get out of bed and make everyone else’s life as miserable as their own. This is not just a personality quirk but more of a symptom of a larger problem. Depression and mental health struggles are pervasive in our society, and they need attention.

But here’s the thing: medicine alone isn’t always the answer. Sure, therapy and, in some cases, medication can help, but happiness often comes from simpler, everyday practices. Recreational therapy type of things like art, music, sports, and play can be incredibly effective, especially for kids. Teaching people that they don’t need certain material possessions, social status, or external validation to be happy is crucial.

"Comparison is the biggest thief of joy."  So many people look at what they see on TV, in movies, or on social media and feel like they don’t measure up. They believe that if their life doesn’t look a certain way, there’s something wrong with them. This mindset can be a breeding ground for unhappiness, creating a cycle where dissatisfaction breeds resentment. And that resentment spreads.

So, what can we do? Protecting your energy is key. Recognize when someone is trying to drag you into their negativity and set boundaries. Focus on your own growth and well-being. And remember: happiness isn’t about having everything—it’s about appreciating what you have and finding joy in the present moment.

At the end of the day, the world is full of people struggling with their own demons. But by focusing on our own joy and teaching future generations to do the same, we can break the cycle and build a culture where happiness isn’t a luxury—it’s a habit.

"The Friend Zone"

I don't get it. I had a conversation with a woman who said about a guy she knows that "I wish I could find someone like him".

In the southern accented words of my friend, Allyson, "Excuuusssse me?"

As someone who heard that phrase multiple times in his life, I immediately had to figure out why she wanted someone "like him", but "not him"?

So, I asked, "Find someone like him? What's wrong with him? He doesn't like women?"

"No, he likes women."

"Is he married or something?"

"No, I think he's going out with someone, but it's not serious."

Now I'm even more confused. "Uh... Okay, is he ugly?"

(LOL!) "No, he's not ugly or anything. He's just a little nerdy, that's all. He lacks style."

Ladies, let me see if I have this straight: there are roughly six or seven good men left in the U.S. and you want to "weed" out the nerds? I understand women in their early 20's may do that out of immaturity, but this lady was early 30's.


You can help a man work on his style a lot easier than you can help him work on commitment.

Memo to all good guys out there (and I was joking when I said six or seven):

It's time to stop thinking that if you are nice to her that she will some day wake up, see how wonderful you are and make you her boyfriend. When her biker boyfriend, Thrasher, pours beer over her head and tells her to "beat it", don't be the fool she runs to unless you truly just want to be her friend. I know it sounds mean to say this, but you're only torturing yourself while she ignores you.

She will use you until one of the two things happen:

A) she finds a guy like Thrasher who happens to know how to treat a woman
B) she reaches the age where she thinks time is running out and she settles for a Thrasher wanna be.


So, good guys, don't do it! Before I got married, I had more good-looking female friends than a Maxim magazine photo shoot. They all discussed their problems with me ad nauseum. Yet, I remained single like a slice of Velveeta cheese. So, take it from someone who knows the deal.

But, back to the ladies. Let me ask you this:

Why is it that when some guys (even one you may find attractive) crosses that imaginary line to "The Friend Zone", he becomes forever untouchable?

Can one of you women explain that to me? Join the discussion.