We Don’t Argue Anymore—We Perform

Remember when a disagreement was just that—a disagreement? Two people, maybe more, hashing things out over coffee, a kitchen table, or a group text that hadn’t yet turned into a battleground. Back then, the goal was clarity. Understanding. Maybe even compromise. Now? Every disagreement feels like a dress rehearsal for a TED Talk nobody asked for.

We’re not debating to understand—we’re auditioning for validation.

Scroll through any comment section and you’ll see it: folks aren’t trying to make sense, they’re trying to make noise. Every podcast clip, every stitched reaction, every “hot take” is less about truth and more about applause. It’s not “What do you think?” anymore—it’s “Watch me win.” 

We used to argue to sharpen ideas. Now we argue to trend.

And let’s be honest: it’s not about being right—it’s about being seen as right. The loudest voice usually wins, not the wisest one. The algorithm doesn’t reward nuance. It rewards volume. Certainty. Swagger. Even if it’s the dumbest thing anyone has ever seen, heard, or read.

But here’s the thing: strong thinkers don’t need an audience to be right.

They don’t need likes, shares, or followers to make sense. What they need is logic, patience, and humility—the kind of qualities that don’t get you clicks but do earn you respect. The kind of mindset that says, “I’m here to learn, not just to be heard.”

Real maturity shows up when you care more about understanding than winning. At one time understanding was the goal, right?

When you listen without rehearsing your rebuttal. When you can say, “You might have a point,” instead of “You just don’t get it.” That’s grown-folk energy, Church. That’s the kind of conversation that builds bridges instead of burning them.

Because grown folks don’t perform—they process. They listen to gain perspective. 

They don’t argue for show—they discuss for growth. They know that being loud isn’t the same as being clear. That being viral isn’t the same as being valuable.

We just have to start listening again. Not for the applause. Not for the retweets. But for the kind of understanding that doesn’t trend—but lasts. Viral is temporary. Value is forever.

No One’s Coming to Save You (And That’s a Good Thing)

Let’s go ahead and rip the Band-Aid off: No one is obligated to rescue you from the chaos that you have created. 

I know, I know. That sounds harsh and the ladies will hate me after this post. But if you’re here for sugarcoating, you’re on the wrong blog. This is Thank, Q for Common Sense, where I serve reality straight up with no chaser. Just the bitter truth. I'm a life referee and I call it like I see it.

🧹 A Man Is Not Your Mop

There’s a troubling trend I keep seeing among women and it’s time we talk about it. It’s this fantasy that a man is supposed to be the human equivalent of a clean-up crew. Not just Prince Charming, but Prince CPA, Prince Therapist, Prince Financial Planner, and Prince Super-Stepdad. All rolled into one.

Let me be crystal clear: That’s not a partner. That’s a professional life manager. And guess what? They don’t come free, and they’re not signing up to be shackled to your unresolved mess.

It's time that ladies reclaim a partnership with men instead of a transactional one. If you feel like you deserve to have a certain dollar amount spent on you for dinner, then be a professional escort. But if you're truly looking for a significant other, then your focus should be on what kind of guy he is and not what he can spend on you.

🚨 Your Chaos, Your Chore

I’m talking about the women who are drowning in debt, have no clear career path, and are lugging around emotional baggage like it’s designer luggage. Yet they’re out here dating with the unspoken expectation that a man will swoop in and stabilize their lives.

Wanting a partner who’s financially responsible and emotionally mature? There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. That’s called having standards. Expecting him to fix your finances or parent your kids just because he’s dating you? That’s called manipulation and entitlement.

Let’s break it down:

• 💳 Your Debt Is Yours: If you’ve racked up $20K in credit card debt, that’s your tab. Expecting a man to pay it off isn’t romantic—it’s transactional. He’s not your ATM with abs.

• 👶🏾 Your Kids, Your Responsibility: If you’re a parent, that’s your primary job. A good man will respect your children, maybe even love them—but “stepdad” isn’t a title you assign on Date #2. It’s earned, not assumed. He doesn't owe your kids jack until something real has been established.

🧠 The “Rescue Me” Mentality Is a Trap

Here’s the real kicker: this mindset doesn’t just burden men—it keeps women stuck.

When you’re always looking for someone else to fix your life, you give away your power. You become passive, dependent, and ultimately unattractive—not because you have problems, but because you refuse to own them. Guys are natural fixers, but we hate having problems thrown in our faces. Especially from someone who only creates more without solving previous concerns.

But when you bring calm to your chaos? You meet a partner on equal footing. You’re not a project. You’re a whole person. And that’s sexy. That's someone a guy can partner with to get some things done.

🛠️ Common Sense Call to Action

Let’s put it like this:

• 🏡 Get Your House in Order: Before you go looking for love, get your finances straight. Go to therapy. Build a life you’re proud of—one that doesn’t need rescuing.

• 🤝 Date a Partner, Not a Provider: Find someone who complements your life, not someone who’s expected to sustain it. A partner adds value—they don’t fill a void.

• 💁🏽‍♀️ Offer Substance, Not a Project: A woman who’s handling her business isn’t intimidating—she’s irresistible. She says, “I don’t need your resources, but I want your partnership.” That’s power. That's what attracts men who have careers and deters boys who have a PS5 addiction.

Because here’s the truth: Two stable people build a stable relationship. Two half-people just build a mess.

So take the wheel and realize that you’re the hero you’ve been waiting for. You are the solver of your problems. Once you accept your mission then it's all downhill from there. But you have to own it!

What do you think? Have you seen this “rescue me” mindset play out in real life? Drop your thoughts in the comments—let’s talk about it.

When Did Respect Become Negotiable?

There was a time when respect wasn’t up for debate. You didn’t need a blue check, a big platform, or a viral moment—just character. People earned respect by how they carried themselves, not by how many people were watching.

But somewhere along the way, respect turned into a popularity contest. We started confusing attention with value. If someone’s rich, loud, or trending, they get treated like royalty. Meanwhile, decency has to beg for a seat at the table. 

Here’s the truth: respect isn’t about admiration—it’s about acknowledgment. You don’t have to like everyone, but you should respect the boundaries and principles that keep chaos from becoming culture.

We’ve confused attention with value. We’ve mistaken noise for worth. And in doing so, we’ve let the loudest voices rewrite the rules. Respect used to be the floor. Now people act like it’s a reward you unlock after going viral.

But here’s the thing: when respect becomes negotiable, so does every standard that keeps society from spiraling out of control. Manners matter. Boundaries matter. Dignity matters. Not because everyone’s flawless—but because everyone’s human.

So let’s bring back basic respect. Not the performative kind. Not the clout-chasing kind. The kind that doesn’t need a spotlight to show up. The kind that reminds us we’re all sharing the same space—and nobody’s too important to be decent.

America Has Hit Rock Bottom

It was bound to happen.  That big "thud" that you heard after the last election was this country hitting rock bottom.  This country is in a very, very bad place and it's not going to get better any time soon.

Racism is as prevalent as it's ever been over the past 50 years.  Politicians are more corrupt than every before.  Jobs are non-existent despite the fact that our infrastructure is crumbling like an Oreo in Shaquille O'Neal's back pocket.  Violent crime rates are higher than giraffe nostrils while cops are shooting first and not asking questions later.

All of this comes from an accumulation of things over the past 30 or 40 years.  Because of that, it can't be fixed overnight.  But make no mistake about it.  It can be fixed.

Well, not racism.  That's never going away in the U.S.  This country was built on racism, so it has no choice but to continue to spawn racism.  You can't plant an apple tree and expect oranges, no matter how hard you wish for them.

But, everything else can be fixed.  We can vote crooked politicians out of office if we actually took time to think.  We get swayed by name recognition and political party loyalty when we step into a voting booth.  And while I'm on the topic, let me step on my soapbox for a minute...

(steps on soapboax)

Black people need to stop voting for Democrats as a default.  The only reason that I say that is because Democrats are so confident that we're going to vote for them, that they don't even try to do anything substantial for us.

When I was a child, I remember countless Democratic candidates coming to my neighborhood to speak to the voters.  They asked questions and acted like they truly wanted to earn our votes.  As an adult, do you know how many Democrats have visited my current neighborhood?

Zero.

I've been visited by plenty of Jehovah's Witnesses, but the next Democratic candidate to step into my driveway will be the first.  And I've lived here for 20 years.

As for Republicans...  They refuse to even make the effort to meet with black people because they know that we're not going to vote for them any way.  Black people got upset that Donald Trump didn't meet with certain black "leaders".  Why should he?  For PR?  Would you waste your time visiting someone that you knew was biased against you?

No, you probably wouldn't.  Until black people make Democrats earn their votes once again, then we'll keep getting what we're getting.  You can't do the same thing over and over and expect different results.  That's just dumb.

(steps off soapbox)

Dag, what was I talking about again?  Oh, yeah.  'Murrica...

Until we do away with political parties, our country will continue to spiral out of control.  How can you have a United States if everyone is divided?  How can you say "united, we stand, but divided, we fall" when it's always "us vs. them"?  If we simply took the time to think, we could turn this country around.  The people have the power.  We're just too lazy or dumb to use it.

Freakin' sheep.

Why Black Face Still Bothers Some

Julianne Hough as "Crazy Eyes."

Julianne Hough started a ripple in the social media waters when she appeared in "tanned face" at a Halloween party.  In her attempt to portray a character from "Orange is the New Black," she decided to go the "extra mile."  The character, "Crazy Eyes," is known for her eyes and her hair.  However, Julianne thought it was important (for reasons unknown) to also capture her skin color.

Big mistake.

You can't do things like that, even in 2013.  As long as there are people still on this planet who lived prior to Civil Rights being granted to black people, then there will not be a shortage of pissed off minorities.  Although I view her outfit as being stupid more than I do racist, my father (born in 1941) would be furious.  He grew up during a time when he wasn't even respected as an equal.

I think the idea to do this is stupid because she had to know people would flip out over this.  And if she didn't know, then that just shows her ignorance when it comes to the real world.  I'm guessing that she doesn't have that proverbial "black friend" who could have told her this would be a bad idea and a media nightmare.

Now, although her tanned look is mild at best, there is a reason why black face still bothers some.  It's still a sign of disrespect to a lot of people in this country.  When black people dress up for Halloween, how many of us have you ever seen put on "white face" to be Batman or Indiana Jones.  When is the last time you saw a black person use eye makeup to be Jackie Chan or Bruce Lee?  Odds are you probably haven't.

And it's not just a black / white thing either.  It's sometimes a black / black thing.  Most blacks also get upset when people who aren't white change their appearance to look white.  See Sammy Sosa and Michael Jackson.

We're a long way off from this not being a big deal.  With insensitive idiots like the below (portraying Trayvon Martin) still displaying foolishness, people who think this isn't a big deal can maybe understand where some of the rage originates.

Do you think that it's time to "get over" black face or is it still a problem in America?

Ink About It

Join the discussion

I remember in the 80's when the only people you saw with tattoos were gang members and soldiers. They used to represent something, but now, I'm not so sure. Now you see tattoos on kids not even old enough to vote.

Have tattoos lost their meaning? 

Kids are rushing to the tattoo parlor as soon as their old enough to go to get some ink. Why is that? Why is there a need for someone not even capable of making an important decision getting something permanently engraved on their body?

I personally think that the legal age for someone to get a tattoo should at least be 21. Even if you have a parent's consent, 21 should be the age. What makes it so bad is that the people who need jobs the most are the main ones doing it. The governor's son isn't getting tattoos. At least not visible ones. The mayor's daughter doesn't have a rose vine taking up 40% of her back. It's the inner-city and trailer park folks who are yet again separating themselves from success. They're the ones who have to get neck tattoos and ink sleeves.

Look, I'm not saying that tattoos are wrong. I'm just saying that not everyone is making the best decision when it comes to getting them. People need to think about it seriously before they do it.  That includes the people who work for Rapid Realty. Rapid Realty promised a 15% commission increase for those who get the company logo inked on their person. 40 employees did it and got the ink to increase their pay. The tattoos can be any size anywhere on the agent’s body, so it doesn't even have to be visible.

Uh, okay.  15% is a significant raise, but I'm not inking myself for a raise.  What if the company lays you off tomorrow?  I'd have to get some guarantees with my ink!

Have you ever gotten ink on a dare?

Stupid People Have Stupid Children

Photo courtesy of the last presidential debate.

Okay, I need to step on my soap box for a bit.  Let me start off by saying that I'm not perfect.  However, one thing that I am is fair.  Unfortunately, that's a trait that has gone the way of the dinosaur.  As a blogger and talk radio show host, I read/hear a lot of opinions from people all over the world.  It's so sad to me that people think the way that they do.  I'm not just talking about a difference of opinions because that will happen.  I'm talking about how a lot people argue their opinions: with emotions.

You cannot debate something based on emotions.  Let me repeat: you cannot debate something based on emotions.  You can only debate something with logic.  Logic contains facts and facts are what win debates.

Emotions are important in everyday living, but they generally make a person unreasonable in debates.  They can cause you to repeat your argument, but only louder, to attempt to make a point.  They make you feel personally attacked in an argument that's not even about you.  They make you say stupid things like "just because" which is what people say when they don't have facts to support their argument.  You're just emotional.

But, let me get back to the fairness thing again.  What's bothering me is how people allow their emotions to do/say something that they absolutely know is wrong or unfair to another.  Here's an example: a man will father a child with someone he won't marry.  He and the woman get into an argument and because he doesn't like her, he won't support his child.

That's the epitome of stupid to me.  A man who denies his child because his feelings got hurt is a punk.  There's just no arguing that.  Regardless if that woman cheated on you with your best friend, the child still has to eat, be clothed and medicated regularly at a cost.  If a guy fails to see that because of the tears in his eyes over a woman, then he's a shell of a man.

Now, before you ladies stand up and clap, this foolishness applies to you, too.  In fact, despite the fact that women are said to mature quicker than men, that maturity is sometimes reduced by your emotions.  This is why we see the most popular reality shows with a predominantly female cast.  Because there isn't a shortage of women willing to turn a small disagreement into World War III.  Feeling the need to be right at the expense of others is the reason why so many of you are single and/or without friends.

It's a shame that our country is so volatile and that it thrives on divisiveness.  Black vs. white.  Young vs. old.  Democrats vs. Republicans.  Men vs. women.  All of this debating fueled with emotion instead of logic is why this country is filled with stupid people.  And stupid people have stupid children.  If you don't believe me, then follow a dumb kid home and see if someone just as dumb doesn't answer the door.

It is so frustrating to assume that each time I go into a debate, whether it's a serious topic or even something as trivial as sports, that I may be the only person with reasoning and facts behind my argument.  The other person may just have some emotional attachment to whatever it is they're supporting without any other debate ammunition.  I can definitely say that I truly understand why this country is deeper in a rut with each passing day, morally and financially.

We blame Obama, we blame teachers, we'll even blame the kid down the street and everyone else instead of ourselves.  We never blame ourselves.  After all, we can't be wrong because what we're saying "feels right."

Garbage.

(steps off soap box)

"Just because that's the way it should be!"

Get Out of The Way!

Why is it so hard for people to get out of the way?  I don't understand it.  It's not difficult at all to realize that sometimes, you have to move.  You would think that it's a common sense thing, but it's obviously not.

Friday, I was traveling down a highway on my way home.  There was traffic all over the place due to holiday shopping.  People were blocking intersections and sticking the nose of their car in your lane regardless if you invited them to do so or not.

While I'm sitting in a line of cars waiting on a traffic signal that's cycled through twice already, I hear a siren.  The first thing that I attempt to do is locate the emergency vehicle so I know what course of action that I need to take.  Well, it appears that I was the only person who was formulating a strategy at the time.  The ambulance was coming up from behind, so I forced my way into the slow lane to make room.  There were about 10-15 vehicles ahead between me and the traffic signal.  The light turned green and only two or three of them moved into the slow lane.  The others continued on their merry way in the fast lane because they wanted to make sure that the traffic signal didn't catch them again.

Because of this, the ambulance had to ride behind with them with lights flashing and sirens blasting for roughly a full minute before being able to cross through the intersection and bolt up the middle turn lane.  One vehicle even drove beside the ambulance for roughly 50 yards while the ambulance was in the turn lane.

Hopefully, no one suffered through a severe injury or, God forbid, died behind these idiots' decision to continue driving rather than pulling over.  At one time, I would have blamed an incident like this on young drivers not knowing the rules of the road.  However, the few faces that I saw who were blocking traffic were the faces of adults!  Grown people who thought that it was more important to get through a traffic light than let an ambulance reach its emergency.

What's wrong with people these days?  Why can't we get out of the way?  Is our time more valuable than someone's life?

Is 400 Enough?

Well, I always thought that I'd blog forever, but I'm starting to feel that's not the case now. As therapeutic and enjoyable blogging can be, it can also be time-consuming. I've always tried to provide multiple blog posts per week to entertain my followers, but that requires sitting in front of my laptop an awful lot at times.

I may have hit a wall on this one.  It's blog post #400 and I'm not sure if I can keep up the pace any more.  I'm not saying that I'm quitting because I'll always have something to say.  Those who follow me closely know of another venue in which I make my points and discuss important topics. :)

But, despite the many crazy, college stories that I have left to tell and the many stupid people in this country who need to be called out, I have to ask myself, "is 400 enough?"

When I first started blogging, I thought I'd post a few blurbs and be done, but I got two followers early on and that drove me.  The posts kept coming and so did the followers and eventually the comments. 

Well, over time, the followers slowed down and so did the comments.  I wasn't putting in the same work in marketing/promoting and the content may have suffered a bit, too.

I've dealt with a work schedule that required a lot of nights and weekends.  I spent more time with my mom after February when her cancer peaked and ultimately claimed her life on June 2nd.  Now, I'm spending a lot more time with my father to make sure that he knows that he's not alone now that she's gone and nursing a sick wife.

So much has happened over the past six months and the aforementioned is only a part of it.  What was once fun has now become "a business plan to get more readers" and I never wanted it to come to that.  I read about SEO's, keyword bait, etc. because I'm constantly searching for followers/comments instead of simply writing for the sheer purpose of saying something that needs to be said.

I just wanted to be a guy who had an outlet to share his opinions.

Well, I'm still going to be that guy, but not as often as usual.  I'm not shutting my blog down, but the pressure to post 3x per week is out the window.  I hope that those who are new to my blog decide to go back and read some of the older ones.  Trust me when I say that a lot of them are still relevant or contain some funny story.  Here are ten suggestions:

When Elevators Attack, Part II

Real Housewives of Panama City Beach

Gettin' Funky

Cold Chicken Tenders

Would You Go to Jail for A Hamburger?

The Real Blogger Shore's Amazing Undercover Idol

Hooters & Bikinis

Torturing Telemarketers

The Cereal Killer

Boonies Aren't for Me

That should hold you for a while if you're new to the blog within the last six months.  However, I promise that I will post when I have something to say.  Will I lose some followers?  Maybe.  Will my presence eventually fade into the sunset?  Possibly.  Will I be happy to simply express myself and not constantly check analytics to figure out why one blog post isn't as popular as the other?  Definitely.

Things That Affect Your Daily Life



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It's almost Election Day and you can tell it's close by all of the ads showing on TV each day.  I always wonder just how much better the economy would be if people would put the money spent from campaigning into actually creating jobs.

(Sigh)

Oh, well.  I know it's just a pipe dream, but maybe one day politics will make sense.  Who am I fooling?  It never will.  We'll continue to put people in office who only have interest in keeping their jobs.  Every now and then you'll find someone genuine who truly wants to help, but they usually don't last long.  The other politicians will find ways to get rid of that person or vote against everything proposed.

The best way for us to fight selfish agendas locally and in Washington is to vote for people who have our interests at heart.  And no, I don't mean someone who may or may not ban guns, or who may or may not have a war on drugs/terrorism.  Those aren't interests, those are political platforms.  There is a difference and the state of our country depends on you knowing the difference.


Your interests are things that affect your daily life: 

Can you buy groceries? 

Are your bills being paid on time? 

Do you have enough for retirement? 

Are your kids getting a decent education? 

Is your environment absent of pollution? 

Are your neighborhoods safe?

Yet, we argue over a war on the other side of the world, whether rape victims can get an abortion, apples in vending machines and if marijuana should be legal.  The list goes on.

Do you see how stupid that is?  Every day, our focus is on things that do not affect the average person's daily life.  I don't know about you, but I don't know anyone who gets daily abortions, but I know people who need to eat three times per day.  I don't care if you want to believe in a religion different than mine or none at all, but I care about my god kids being able to afford college.  I don't care if my taxes are raised as long as I have a salary fair enough for me to afford it.

Do you see where I'm going?  Each day, we're beaten over the head by "news" that tells us what we should be upset over.  They tell us that only a Democrat or a Republican can solve our problems.  Two rich parties that spend more money campaigning to get themselves re-elected than you'll ever make in 200 lifetimes.

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I'm not telling you to abstain from voting.  That's probably the absolute dumbest choice of them all.  If you don't vote, then you don't count.  What I am saying is to vote responsibly.  Don't let family tradition lead you down another generation of stupidity.  Do your homework and vote to promote your daily life and not these fabricated political issues.

Don't be the fool who brags, "I helped get marijuana legalized" and you can't even afford to buy it because you're unemployed.

Don't be the idiot who pumps his chest over voting for/against gay marriage and your kid has a metal detector at his/her school because of recent classroom shootings.

Don't be the nut who jumps for joy that 25,000 more soldiers are sent overseas while 35,000 jobs go with them.

It's time to put on your big boy/girl pants and think for yourself for a change.  Stop letting CNN, MSNBC and FOX News put thoughts in your head.  Learn how to separate the real from the manufactured.  These people rely on you being emotional about what they're saying instead of logical.  That's why they have these outrageous stories and headlines to push your buttons.  Emotional people make stupid decisions.

So, the next time you turn on one of those "news" channels, be sure to take the time to ask yourself after each segment of the show, "is who a person is praying to, sleeping with, etc. affecting my ability to put food on the table and keep the lights on?"

What percentage of politicians do you think really care about the United States?

Choosing Emotions Over Common Sense

When I first started my blog, two years ago today, it was called "Thank, Q for Common Sense" for a reason. I felt the desire to inject some "common sense" into the blogging world. Although people are welcome to blog about whatever they would like, I thought there were too many blogs that lacked perspective. So many blogs seemed as if they were based on what the writer felt from the heart instead of from the brain.

I didn't want to do that. I wanted my blog to be strictly based on logic and perspective because that's how I try to live my life. Because of that, it gets frustrating to come across people who don't have the same concept. I wish people would stop choosing emotions over common sense. Just because you like something or someone doesn't mean that you should defend that idea/person at all costs.

I remember when the Chris Brown / Rihanna incident happened how so many people on Twitter were coming to his defense. "Well, we don't know what Rihanna said to him that pissed him off."

"Everyone deserves a second chance."

"Leave Chris Brown alone."

Really? So, simply because you like the guy (or you're a fan), he isn't guilty of anything? R. Kelly. Charlie Sheen. Lindsay Lohan. I can go on-and-on. These people have been accused of some heinous acts yet they're even more popular than ever. Why? Because you like their music or they make you laugh in a sitcom or movie. Ummmm, okay.

Well, let me take that back. I'm not saying that you can't be fans. I'm just saying that I think it looks stupid to defend them when people talk about the heinous acts that they committed. I think that's what's wrong with this country. We use our emotions to make decisions (which wind up being irrational). Everything offends us because we're too emotional. It doesn't matter if it's a true statement or not because common sense isn't factored into the equation. If it hurts our feelings, then we lash out. We'll even lash out over something that has nothing to do with us. Twitter blew up months ago from people defending Whitney Houston's substance abuse problem after her death. People who didn't even know her were pissed off at just the mere thought that someone who was in rehab as recently as last year was speculated to have overdosed... because they like her music. I even had someone on Facebook get mad at me for not Liking her "We Love Whitney" fan page. I told her respectfully that I didn't want to join the page which resulted in her Unliking my fan page.

Wow. Because I don't feel the same way you do about a person, I'm of no use to you any more, huh? So be it.

Tantrums used to be a kid thing.  Not in 2012.

People, I'm tired. I'm tired of being the only person willing to put myself in other people's shoes to understand their point. I'm tired of stating a fact only to have it offend someone because it applies to them or someone they know. I'm tired of being the voice of reason in an unpopular situation. Maybe two years has been enough time to fight stupidity. Maybe it's time for me to terminate my blog and move on with my life and find another hobby.

Psych! Are you nuts? LOL! That's actually what drives my blog. The more ignorance I encounter, the more posts I type. I shall continue with my message because some things just need to be said. I will "blog 'til I fall" and hope that I can just get one person to stop and think. You don't have to agree with me, but at least consider things from someone else's perspective. And remember this, as I blow out the candles on Year Two: common sense is like deodorant, the people who need it the most don't use it. (drops mic)



This country used to be mentally tough. What happened?

The Anti-Cheating Device

Source

LOL! Is this what our society has come to? The anti-cheating device? Peep the photo. This ring is designed to leave an imprint on your hand that says "I'm Married" for the guys (or women) who like to pop their rings off on those trips to the bar.

Seriously? Is marriage so much of a joke now that people have to LoJack their spouses? We're to the point where we're branding our significant others? Sometimes I wonder if people create these things just to give me something to blog about.

First of all, as a man who has been married for ten years, anytime you take your ring off, it will leave a tan line as discouragement to others. How much of a loser would I look like with a tan line and "I'm Married" stamped on my fourth finger? And make no mistake about it, if you wear one of these, then you are a loser along with the spouse who buys it. You're a loser because you're not trustworthy enough to have a grown-up's wedding ring. Your significant other is a loser because they don't trust you enough to not brand you and they're too cowardly to leave someone they don't trust.

Yeah, I said it. This country has no idea what marriage truly is. Absolutely no idea. Marriage isn't "hard work" like some people think. Why? Because if two people truly love each other, then why would it be so difficult to get along?  I'm not saying that a person can't find themselves in a bad situation or anything.  Some people are good at hiding who they are until after marriage (depending on how long you dated).  However, for the most part, finding a spouse is just like hiring for a job: if you don't take the interviewing process seriously, then you'll wind up with a non-productive employee.

The bottom line is: people suck at choosing a mate and like most people in today's society, instead of blaming themselves, they blame the other person. That's why some people date the same type of bad person only to wonder why they got mistreated. Then they decide to corrupt the minds of good people by saying "all men are dogs / all women are ho's." No, they're not. Just the ones that you choose are.  #GetOverYourself

Some people hate being lonely and think that someone will change into the person they want them to be. How's that working out for you? You picked this unemployed loser as a spouse and to your surprise, that person doesn't have a job a year into the marriage.  Imagine that.  I planted an apple tree yet I'm surprised when the tree produces apples.  I could have sworn it would change into an orange tree now that I'm married.  #ChokeYourself

Some people have self-esteem lower than a snail's stomach. They marry who someone who has cheated on them in the past with hopes that it won't happen again. Or maybe, they stole that person from someone else thinking that it could never happen to them.  "That's just a man being a man" or "she knows where home is."  #GrowAPair

So, for the aforementioned group, this ring is for you! Wear it and brand yourself proudly, but know this: if I ever see you with one of those imprints on your finger, I will laugh my head off at you. Because although no marriage is perfect, no marriage should be to the point that a brand is needed.

Here is the advice that I would give to anyone who may be considering one of these rings: if you take the time that it takes to plan your wedding to learn how to be a spouse, then you won't feel the need to own one of these rings. (Steps off soapbox)

Am I being too hard on someone who would buy one of these?

Daredummies

How many times has it happened to you? You're driving down the freeway and all of a sudden... Out of nowhere... Some nut passes you on a motorcycle rolling about 120 mph. You're so distracted by the fact that you think you're about to watch someone die, that you forget that you're driving. I've seen this too many times.

I've never really cared for motorcycles. Maybe because my father got into an accident on one when I was a kid. He was riding down a busy street and some fool drinking a Big Gulp had his head tilted back and veered into my dad's lane. Luckily, despite it being a head-on collision, my father only suffered bruises, cuts and a broken leg. The speed limit on that street at that time was 40 mph. What happens when you wreck and the speed limit is 70 mph? Bad things, man. Bad things.

I was returning from Downtown Jackson recently when this person flew past me on his "crotch rocket." I was doing 75 mph at the time and I'm guessing he (or she) was doing 100 mph. I was passed so quickly that I couldn't even tell you the color of the bike. I never saw it in my mirror, but I heard it just seconds before it passed me. What if I had decided to change lanes?  If you're going to drive fast enough to go back in time, then shouldn't you do it when there's no traffic?  I had a college roommate who worked at the airport.  He and his bike-riding buddies would take their motorcycles and race on the runway after work.  He told me that he once reached 190 mph before his helmet visor flew up and a bug hit him in the face.  The impact of a bug hitting him in the face at 190 mph embedded the bug in his cheek.  But, at least there was no traffic out there and the runways are generally smooth.  I still think he's nuts (and lucky that the bug didn't hit him in the eye).

Some of these daredevils daredummies like doing tricks while traveling 75 mph on the freeway. Nothing says "I'm an idiot" like popping a wheelie with cars moving all around you. You would think that these people would realize that one slip or even one small rock under the tire could throw them into traffic. And even if they're lucky enough to not be thrown in traffic, hitting the ground at 75 mph is not the flesh weight loss plan I want to try.

The most nerve-wrecking of them all is "lane splitting." That's when someone rides their "widow maker" straight down the dotted lines of the street in between stopped/slow moving vehicles. I've only seen this happen in person once or twice, but I was so tempted to open my door just as he passed me.  I know, I know, shame on me.

What makes someone have no disregard for their life like that? I'm not saying that motorcycles can't be fun, but the margin for error is a lot less than for someone in a car. It's one thing to perform a stunt, but to do so with other moving vehicles around you? You may think you know what you're doing, but what if the people around you can't drive?


How do you feel about amateur stunts performed on motorcycles on your streets?

Only You Can Change Your Life in #2012

I'm not one to make a big deal over a new year. I'm not saying it's not worthy of celebrating. I'm just saying that it's not worthy of motivating.

If you want to be true to yourself, then don't let a fake milestone fool you into thinking things with your life will change. If you can't change your life for the better on April 15th or September 23rd, then what makes you think something is special about January 1st? Changing a calendar doesn't change a person. Not to rain on anyone's parade, but you know my motto: some things just need to be said.

So, don't join a gym because it's a new year. Don't stop smoking because it's a new year. Don't stop being an a-hole because it's a new year. Make improvements in your life because you want to do so.

Only you can change your life. A new calendar can't do jack but tell you the date.




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Hurricanes Bring The Ruckus

"Q, you have to try some of this cake!"

So, I've been watching The Weather Channel for a week now and it's fascinating. Not just because of Stephanie Abrams, but because I am learning tons of facts about hurricanes. I thought I'd seen enough broadcasts to know all there is to know about these storms, but it appears that I learn something new each season. I'm also seeing interesting people on TV as well. Hurricane Irene is coming to town with clenched fists and she's bringing the ruckus.

My question is: what makes a person stay during a hurricane?

Hurricanes are fun!

Now, when Hurricane Katrina hit six years ago, despite the fact that I'm located 175 miles from the Gulf Coast of Mississippi, I had to endure 100 mph wind gusts and torrential rains. 175 miles away and Katrina still ran me from my home! I can't imagine what the people who didn't evacuate that area had to endure, but I spent Labor Day weekend in Dallas while my power was out.

So, when I hear some nut being interviewed on The Weather Channel saying that he's going to "ride the storm out" only five miles from the beach, I scratch my head. Do they not watch TV? Do they not see the seriousness involved in their decision when the police department asks you to sign a waiver and list your next of kin? They can't come get you if something goes wrong because they're going to a shelter. I'm watching interviews with surfers who are talking about how cool the nine foot waves are instead of packing up and heading as far west as their wallets can take them. There have already been fatalities, including a person killed when a tree fell on their truck.

There's no such thing as "just a hurricane!" Category 1 or not, it's still a hurricane! Besides, a Category 1 storm can have winds between 74-95 mph on top of being capable of spawning multiple tornadoes and surges that causes extreme flooding. I know that The Weather Channel loves to sensationalize things and make every storm, "a storm we've never seen before," but at some point you have to rely on your own common sense and make a judgement.

They see me rollin'...  They hatin'....

So, do like these people above and get the heck out of town! Irene isn't playing! And when she's done bringing the pain to your property, the oil companies will bring the pain to the gas pumps! Believe that!

Coming to a gas station near you on Labor Day Weekend '11

Do You Not Know Where You Are?

The Mrs. and I went to a restaurant tonight and despite viewing poor customer service and business mismanagement, we came across an very unusual sighting.

Well, let me rephrase: a very unusual sighting for August in Mississippi.

Behold! A sweater in August! (Click to zoom)

Dude, do you not know where you are? This is Mississippi! The humidity is always 95%+ and the temps are scorching even in the shade! The temperature at the time this photo was taken was roughly 92 degrees, so luckily for Mr. Sweater, it wasn't one of those 115 degree heat index days.

Still, to bust out in that sweater, with a shirt underneath, almost seems suicidal. His "pay date," as I heard someone refer to the lady with him, was wearing a skirt and was a complete contrast to Mr. Sweater.

I only wish I had the guts to ask the guy what he was thinking as I exited the restaurant.

Let Me See You Slutwalk

Let me see you Slutwalk! Do you know how? It's not hard. It helps to have the body and the attitude.

Okay, okay... no, this isn't the newest dance craze. Slutwalking is actually bringing an awareness to something serious, but at what cost?

This all started when a Toronto police officer said that if women stopped dressing like sluts, then they will less likely be the victims of sexual assault and / or rape. That raised the eyebrows of some people who said that the police were placing blame on the victim. So, in order to raise awareness to people "expressing themselves sexually in a healthy way," they broke out the "I Love Sluts" and "Sluts Pay Taxes" t-shirts and danced to hip-hop in the streets. Some even rollerskated around in lingerie.  Now Slutwalk events are being planned all over the world.

Over 2,300 people have already committed to attend a future Slutwalk event in Boston and another 2,000 committed for Seattle as the event has blown up on Twitter and Facebook. Of course you have groups who disagree as well. There was a "Pimp Walk" organized in Boston for the same day. I guess they thought they would hand out applications to new recruits.

 But, my question to you is:

How can you take something seriously if it requires shock value to get your attention?




"Hey, let's bring awareness to animal protection by clubbing this baby seal and eating its raw, lifeless carcass!"
or
"Let's raise awareness to drug prevention by snorting a wheelbarrow of cocaine!"

Sounds counterproductive to me not to mention that plenty of pervs will certainly attend these Slutwalks just to glance at some butt cheeks.

I understand the movement. No victim of a sex crime should feel they are at fault. That's part of the reason a lot of them won't come forward. But, dressing provocatively is the answer? I don't think so. People who commit sex crimes have a loose screw. So, if you know they're out there in the world, then why tempt them? I wouldn't wear pork chop underwear and stand in front of a bipolar dog expecting him to appreciate "my healthy expression."

Call it what it is. You're not raising awareness, you're looking for acceptance. You're taking a serious issue and turning into a movement that benefits your desire to dress however you like. I think people are too extreme now. There's always a middle ground, but no one wishes to take it. You're either far Left or you're far Right. You're either hot or cold. You either have Beiber Fever or dreams of kidnapping him. What's wrong with balance? Common sense is about balance. Common sense doesn't offend anyone and is fair to everyone. Let's use it now and then!

You can be sexy without being slutty. "Sexy" is an attitude. I explained that to everyone a few weeks ago. Let's avoid these extreme measures to get people's attention. Don't kill someone to raise awareness to murder. Don't punch a woman to raise attention to domestic violence. And please don't consider wearing lingerie in public unless you work at the shake joint in the proper venue.

slut
noun
1. dirty, slovenly woman.
2. an immoral or dissolute woman; prostitute.

And you're proud?

Push The Button

What lights your fire? I don't mean romantically, but emotionally. What makes you upset? What pushes your button so repeatedly that you choose to vent via speaking out, blogging, or posting on FB/Twitter?

A hot button for The Mrs. is "Zero Tolerance Rules/Laws." She believes that everything has an exception. Everything. Saying kids aren't allowed to bring weapons to school and then expelling a child for bringing a plastic knife for his lunch is an example of zero tolerance gone bad. A man who speeds in his car to get his pregnant wife to the hospital and gets a speeding citation in doing so is another example of what irks her.

You get the drift by now, right?

So, what is the one topic that is able to push the button when it comes to me? There are countless things that push me to express myself, but I've sat here and tried to think of the one thing that gets to me every time. Racism? That's a hot button, but it probably is for everyone. Sexism? Doesn't affect me as a man much, so that may be for some women. Politicians? Yeah, they get me going, but I'm "sometimey" when it comes to them, too. After all, politicians aren't the blame, it's the people who follow them blindly who are the blame.

So, I guess for me, I hate anything that doesn't involve common sense (hence the blog title): People who believe everything they hear/read and report it as fact. People who will take a week off of work to picket outside of Comedy Central about "South Park" rather than just preventing their children from watching it. People who think "individuality" comes from wearing the same name brand shoes/jeans/shirts that everyone else in the neighborhood wears.

So, that's what does it for me. What pushes your button?