Dogs of War

Walken at his best here. Sadly it is a forgotten gem in action.

The Good: At the start of the movie we see Walken driving a jeep full of hard asses through explosions. This just sets the stage for the end fiasco/coo that Walken stages with a small band of mercs to over throw an African country. He goes to scout the country and ends up getting beat half to death, then like a man's-man he comes back to overthrow it. Of course he has fellow hardass Tom Berenger to come with him and let loose the DOGS OF WAR.

Oh yeah and Walken keeps a pistol in his fridge. I hear lead has the same effect as baking soda...

The Bad: Oppressive African governments and dipshit neocolonialists trying to take advantage of them. Walken has it in for both of them.

The Badass: EXPLOSIONS! The entire end sequence is a chain reaction of cowboy mercs with automatic grenade launchers blowing the shit out of a military base. Rambo 2 is really the only thing that can compete... AND ITS CLOSE AT THAT.

The Food: I suggest getting some meat filled tacos from a street vendor and bring it home or something to the extent. Anything meaty with flour around it... cooked on a flat grill. Gyro? I dunno.

Check this one out for some fun. It's not as trashy as my review for it believe me. It actually has more than action and explosions. Commentary on neocolonialism in African.... ect.

This trailer should entice you to rediscover this gem.

District 9

First off I will avoid saying too much about this film, because really everyone should go out and see it. As the movie hit its second act I was totally engrossed in the world of a South African reinstatement of an apartheid-like policy dealing with the aliens. It is probably my favorite movie of 09 thus far, (Avatar and Pandorum still coming though).

The Good: The down in the dirt style that South African director Neill Blomkamp weaves with his half narrative half documentary style. It feels like it was shot in a slum in South Africa.

This movie could only be spun by a gamer in love with Half-Life and Halo (which jacked a lot from half-life). For instance the Mech-suit (which can be seen in the trailer) is just like Dog in the Half-Life 2, but has a shit load of weaponry.

Speaking of weaponry all the guns in the movie kick ass. The alien rigs literally tear people apart. This film is not PG-13 so there was no pussy copout cutaway bullshit. In your face cherry pie gibbbbbbbbbing (gamer term for blowing another player into pieces).

This guy knows how to tell a story with details. I'm sure I will catch a lot more in a second viewing, but you have to be able to appreciate the amazing amount of detail, which really brings an oppressed alien culture to life.

The Bad: The excessive use to military force was the real enemy in the film. Of course there is other stuff but I hate spoilers sooooo. That's all you get.

The Ugly: In this film the aliens are pretty ugly... But Blomkamp somehow puts you in the main character's shoes enough to where you kinda dislike them at first and think they are gross, but as the story moves you find yourself thinking the crustacean looking things are cute (especially the children).

The Badass: There is some all out battles in this movie. People get torn up by alien guns and human guns alike. There is one random part where this guy is holding an alien up for integration the alien out of nowhere just kicks him and all you see is a limb explode from somewhere and the guy fly like a rag doll. That is tame for this movie. Heads get torn off, lots of people explode, and many aliens get blown away too.

Death Hunt: Bronson Vs Lee Marvin + Carl Weathers + A Guy Who Looks Like The Guy Who Played Coach

My action enthusiast friend Dustin recommended this movie to me because the pure manness of the cast. Bronson being one of my favorite actors; is gonna appear on this blog a lot.
The Beginning: You can tell a hell of a lot about a movie by the opening credits. This one is filled with landscape helicopter shots of mountains leading you to the conclusion that its gonna be a wilderness run and gun extravaganza.

The Good: Bronson a wilderness man who has barely any dialogue and a soft spot for dogs. We find out later he has a past full of military experience and a future of running from the things he once did. Some people call this cliché I call this ESSENTIAL. We know he's one humble bad motherfucker this way.

Lee Marvin is a broken down drunk mounty who is stuck by fate in chasing a man he knows isn't guilty. So one can guess the display of man to man comradery when Marvin has Bronson in his sights.

The Bad: The Coach Lookin Guy (refered to as Coach from now on) is a dog fighting dick head who runs into Bronson when Bronson takes away one of his fighting dogs and nurses it to health. Let the EGO enter. Coach in his infinite douchness attack Bronson's cabin and one of his bickering lackeys is killed so... long story short Bronson has to run from authorities (Mounties) and Coach's team of morons.

The Ugly: Coach's gang is a buncha ugly morons with lines like "your so dumb I could sell you dirt."

The Weird: This is Carl Weathers' weirdest role. The usual muscle flexin mad man we know as Action Jackson is kind of a pussy in this. He does bang some fat ugly first nation (Canadian for Native American) chick. Then says to his young buddy "you wanna piece of this buffalo woman?". Warrants the Weird title...

The Badass:
THE CAST

The baddies dynamite Bronson's hand built cabin with him inside and he flies out of it after it explodes with a semiauto shotgun with god knows how many shells. He blows away some cronies and scares the shit out of them so he can get away.

For a western it also had pretty damn good squib and blood effects. One is so gruesome they throw in the line, "son of a bitch shot his scalp off".

The Food: Most people should eat to match their movie. I recommend a medium t-bone with a baked potatoes side. Throw some Tony's Creole on the whole damn dish and you got a night of wilderness ass kicking.