Random Ramblings of a Very Tired Beth

Typing this out on my Palm Pilot on the bus on the way to a free screening of Cloverfield. Won't have time to write blog posting when I get home as I have to finish my lecture for tomorrow. My wicked cool lecture about the BC Nutrition Survey, about measurement and about dietary assessment. But I'm so very, very tired...

So, some random thoughts. A recent study found that 75% of people in the study who called themselves vegetarians ate animal flesh sometimes. wtf? They put new floors in the hallway to the caf at my work. The new floors muffle the sound significantly compared to the old floors. I'm thinking they put the new flooring in because my new boots are like the loudest things ever when I walk down the hall in them. My ski buddy busted her knee & is out for the season; now looking for people with whom to ski. Is it wrong that I'm not done my lecture, but I decided what I'm going to wear to my class tomorrow 5 days ago?

Clean Off Your Desk Day... Not So Much

In defiance of Clean Off Your Desk Day, and because it for some unknown reason seemed to alleviate my anger at not being able to find a very important set of papers on my desk, I took these pictures of my office just for you, gentle blog reader:

I'd like to say that there is a system to this mess. You know, like ordered chaos. A method to my madness. Like it's one of those messes where it looks like a mess from the outside by the creator of said mess knows exactly where everything is in this shitstorm. I'd like to say those things, but if I did, I'd be lying. Sometimes I have to call my cell phone in order to find it on my desk. Seriously.

The class I'm teaching is a nutrition course. The classroom is in one of the engineering buildings. As I was setting up my laptop for my lecture yesterday, with the students from the previous class filing out of the room and my students filing in, one of the students from the previous class came up to me and asked bewilderedly, "What class is this?"

"Nutritional Assessment," I replied, somewhat confused as to why he looked so confused.

"Oh. It's just in engineering classes there aren't usually so many..." His voice trailed off.

"Ah. Not usually so many girls. You are wondering where all these women are coming from!"

* * * * *

Overall, the first lecture seemed to go well. It was waaaaay too short, as I suck at estimating how long it will take me to present stuff. But it's not like anyone is going to complain about leaving early on a Friday. Plus, it gave students lots of time to come up and chat with me, which several did. I love to see that kind of enthusiasm for learning!

Since this was the first class, it was just introductory/refresher stuff, so I was able to get through the material at a fairly rapid pace, as it wasn't the first time most of the students had seen this stuff. I'm hoping that I was able to convey my passion for the material by the high energy style. Or something like that. All I know what the I was fucking exhausted by the time I got home!

The rest of the classes will be more challenging, as more of the material will be new to them (and to me!).

First Day of School

Picture it, a few years from now:

Person 1: UBC, 2008. You were in my class!
Me: I was your teacher.¹

Just like when you are a student, being the instructor brings up all the same insecurities:

• Will I know enough? Have I forgotten everything I've learned before?
• Will the other kids like me?
• What will I wear?

I had the last one covered at least²:

May I direct your attention to my shiny new boots, which I bought to replace my beloved old boots, but that I can actually wear to such things as work and teaching, unlike my new eBay boots.

¹Good old '80s (or was it '90s) TV commercials!
²My head is cut off in this photo because I looked terrible! My face looked fat (because I wasn't doing my patented head tilt) and my horrible teeth were showing.

couch potato

Since some people around here don't seem to think that pasting a screen shot of the Cypress Mountain website is a sufficient blog posting¹and some people seem to think I'm not slothful enough⁰, and *despite* the fact that I'm totally exhausted and should be sleeping right now, I give you this blog posting (a) to ensure that no one tries to claim I missed a day of posting and (b) it was already three quarters written.

In the last month, I have watched approximately 4.5 seasons of various television shows. The breakdown goes something like this:

• Lost - Season 1


• Lost - Season 2


• Lost - Season 3


• Veronica Mars - most of Season 1


• Heroes² - about half of Season 1

In my ongoing efforts to be the last person on earth to report on things⁷, I really liked Lost. Various people have told me that they like one season, but didn't like another one, but I've really liked all of it so far⁸ I especially enjoyed having the luxury of chainsmoking the episodes, as that show is (a) so damn interconnected and (b) full of cliffhangers, it helps me keep plotlines and characters straight and I like finding out right away what happens after any given cliffhanger.

VM Season 1 is a damn good mystery (well, a bunch of damn good mysteries really) and I can't wait to get to the end of the season to see whodunit. But I won't get to do that 'til next week 'cuz this week has been crazy busy what with all the time I'm spending panicking about my first lecture on Friday.

Heroes is quite enjoyable, but I have stay here and now for all the Internets to read, I cannot - I repeat, CANNOT - stand the part at the beginning and end when Mohinder does his voiceovers. You can tell that they think it sounds cool, but if listen to what he's actually saying, it never makes any sense. Gah!! On the bright side, the show is entertaining, there's lots of mystery (and who doesn't like mystery?) and, as of yet, there are no spiders in it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to sleep. Like right freaking now!

⁰my blog readers are starting to get so demanding, aren't they?
¹ which it *so* is, by the way
²In HD³. And Surround Sound. God damn, I like HD with Surround Sound.
³Speaking of HD, if there is anything better in life that Canucks games in HD, I haven't experienced it⁴.
⁴Well, other than the obvious. But HD hockey is pretty spectacular too!^5
5My sister and her boyfriend were ordering a big TV when I was in Toronto with their Christmas gift money and I said to my sis, "Whatever you do, don't let "Grampa"⁶ watch hockey in high def on your TV, or he'll be moving into your house before you know it." My niece, hearing this, exclaimed with a great deal of concern in her voice, "But Grampa likes hockey!"
⁶We refer to my dad as "Grampa" now, because Madeline is, of course, the ultimate frame of reference.
⁷Everyone wants to bring you the breaking news, but it takes a real superstar, such as myself, to report on things years after they ceased to be news.
⁸With the notable exception of 2 scenes in the Nicki & Paulo episode that contained friggin' spiders.

Give me a P!

Give me a P!
Give me an A!
Give me an N!
Give me an I!
Give me a C!

The class I'm teaching starts in 1 week!

I'm writing this on the train from Ottawa to Toronto. I'm too cheap to pay to use the VIA Rail internet access¹, so I'll post it later. But there's an electrical outlet at every set of seats, so I can actually use my laptop for the whole trip and not worry about the battery dying. It's sweet to be here in the future.

I put together the syllabus for the course I'm teaching in January and gone so far as to start putting together my first lecture. And I've even jotted down a few ideas for assignments². So I feel like I've actually accomplished something, sort of. So now I can goof off and blog and perhaps take a wee nap as I'm kinda sleepy³. However, I am suffering from a wicked case of writer's block⁴, so nap time it is! Night!

¹but it's nice to know that it's available in case I some day make enough money to both buy a train ticket *and* pay for Internet access.
²It's my first time teaching this course and I'm not in love with the assignments that were given last year, so I'm trying to come up with new ones.
³This may or may not have anything to do with staying up 'til 2 a.m. watching Veronica Mars.
⁴Which may or may not have anything to do with being distracted by the teenagers sitting next to me, yammering loudly about how they are in the cadets. It's all "drinking game" this and "drinking on army base" that.

Three Months Worth of Recycling and My Biennal Apartment Cleaning

Ever wonder what 3 months worth of recycling looks like? Well, wonder no longer:

This is the recycling that has been piling up in my kitchen since the city workers's strike started back in July. They are *finally* going to pick up recycling this week and I can't wait to put this stuff outside and get my kitchen back!!

In other cleaning-up-my-place news, I was struck with my biennial "I feel like cleaning" mood on Friday and did some tidying up and organizing. Apparently there is this new invention that's like a sponge on a stick and you put the sponge part in soapy water and run it across your floor. I believe they call it a "mop." So I tried that out and now have shiny kitchen and bathroom floors¹

Some other features of my newly semi-organized place include taking my shoe collection from looking like this:

To looking like this:

Although I do have to admit that even with a five-story shoe rack, I don't have enough room for all my shoes²

Also, I hung up a whole bunch of stuff on the walls, as seen here:

My two favourite pieces:

"Spirt Bear" by Joseph M. Wilson and
"Haida Killer Whale - Skaana" by Bill Reid

My friend Therese brought these two pieces,
which apparently I have not hung up straight,
back from San Fran for me.

The flower paintings were done by my cousin's husband and given out
as gifts to everyone at their wedding. The gingerbread man cutting board
was given to me by either my mom or my sister (I can't remember which).

This is my bragging wall... or, walls I guess, as I couldn't fit them all on one wall
(Go to the Flickr page if you want to see what each of these degrees/diplomas/awards are).

Of course, there are still piles of paper on various tables, chairs, filing cabinets and other available surfaces (photos not available³), but I'm sure I'll get around to cleaning them up in 2009, when the mood to clean hits me again.

¹Although the tile in my kitchen, like the paint on the walls and all the furniture, is older than me, so it still kinda looks like crap.
²Plus, there are four more pairs in my bedroom that I forgot to take a photo of and I'm too lazy to take a photo and upload it now that I've realized that I didn't take a photo of them.
³Because I don't want to document what a slob I am. Despite my claims to the contrary, I'm really not at all about fair and balanced reporting .

Nightmares, Hump for the Hip and omg it's freaking hot out

Seeing as how I've been done school for almost an entire year, you'd think that I wouldn't have that nightmare where I'm supposed to write an exam but only discover this fact at the time of the exam - I don't know where the exam is being held and I certainly haven't studied for it, as I only just found out that I am even in the course! I haven't even taken an exam in over 3.5 years! To make it even weirder, it was an English exam... and I haven't had an English class since 1995!

In other news, I just listened to the best Hump at the Pump ever! Billed as "Hump for the Hip" as the participants won tickets to the Tragically Hip concert, as well as a catered suite where they get to meet the Hip, this H@tP involved a threesome (complete with man pagent to chose the lucky boy who got to partake) and police witnesses. I'll post a link to the video when it's up on the CFOX website.

In other, other news - it's freaking hot out. Already, at 8:13 am. And I live in a basement, where it is usually nice and cool. I guess that's what happens when it's the hottest day ever in the history of Vancouver, which is what today's forecast calls for. Yesterday was also one mofo of a hot day - I decided to sit outside in the sun (because I'm a masochist, apparently) and drink a Frappucino (because they are tasty, albeit calorific) in the afternoon while doing some reading (did I ever mention that I *love* my job?)... today may call for a repeat of that, if I don't melt first. Then I have a softball game. Let's consider the Frappucino carbo-loading and/or pre-hydration, k?

And speaking of work, I should go there now. Catch ya later.

It's Me, In Comic Form

I've been a fan of PHD (Piled Higher and Deeper) comics for a long time now. And this recent comic describes me perfectly. And this one is a perfect description of my life in grad school.

It's like the guy who writes this comic follows me around and chronicles my life.

Feast or Famine

Remember back when I didn't have a job, and couldn't seem to find one? Now I have three!

In addition to my regular 4 days per week job, I recently got hired for two part-time jobs for 2007-2008. In addition to my current job, I will be teaching (a) third-year university students¹ and (b) grade 3s. So very, very excited about this!

¹this is tentative, budget dependent

Binaries

I was at a women's health event on Thursday and we spent most of the morning talking about the defintions of "sex" and "gender." Sex and gender, you may be surprised to hear¹, are not the same thing.

Sex is a biological construct - based on our genes/hormones/anatomy/physiology, we are classified as "male" or "female," although research shows that things are not quite as clear cut as this. For example, we tend to think of sex chromosomes as being XX = female, XY = male, but there are people with different chromosomal combinations (e.g., XO, XXX, XXY, XYY); similarly, we think of vagina = female, penis = male, but there are people born with indeterminate genitalia, or both sets, or incongruous external and internal anatomy.

Gender is a social construct, something that we humans create. We can think of "gender roles" (the way that society expects us to behave) and "gender identities" (what gender we personally identify ourselves with). We talked a lot about how there are many genders, not just "male" or "female", and even within the groups "male" and "female", there really are multiple "masculinities" and "feminities)².

We spent a considerable amount of time exploring these concepts of multiple and complex sexes and genders, specifically regarding how this complexity affects our research.

What happened at the break after this enriching and thoughtful discussion really struck me as rather funyy. The women's health field is, not surprisingly, dominanted by women researchers. The group at this event was made up of probably 100 or so participants, of which there were maybe 2 or 3 males. At the break, many participants, myself included, headed to the bathroom. As I walked down the hall, I noticed a large lineup of women at the door to the "women's" washroom, and no one going into the men's washroom. Hadn't we just discussed that "male" and "female" is a false binary??

So I knocked on the door to the "men's" room (because I realize that societal norms do dictate that it would be "strange" for a woman to walk in on a man at the urinal and that might make some men uncomfortable), and getting no response, I said something nonchalant to the women lined up for the "ladies's room" and marched on into the unoccupied "men's" washroom. I'm not sure if any of the other women saw the poignancy of my actions and certainly no one followed me. I guess it's easier to talk the talk than walk the walk sometimes.

Wow, this posting turned out far more cerebral than what I usually post here. It's almost like something you'd expect to see here or here or here. Perhaps I should nerdify it a bit by adding in a few more big words⁴ and post it on my "professional" blog... yup, I've started a professional blog for work/education purposes... I'm trying to inform others of the benefits of blogging for reflective practice/educational purposes/community building, so I figured that I should be practising what I preach and blogging my own reflections on my professional practice. But I'm not linking it to this blog which, if you know what I did for a living, would probably make a lot of sense to you.

¹or maybe not, depending on your background.

²As an aside, this issue of "masculinities" and "feminities" got me thinking about how I have never really felt that I fit into any predefined gender roles - when asked "are you a girly girl or a tom boy?"³, I've basically come to the point of giving the answer "I'm a tom boy who likes to dress like a girly girl." In many ways, I have some very stereotypically "male" characteristics. I love both watching and playing sports, although I think it is somewhat outside of the "male" gender role to want to bed your favourite NHL hockey player. Another example - I'm very career focussed, but I like to wear short skirts and high heels while I go about my career. Hell, I wore CFM boots to my PhD defence!! I like pretty, sparkly jewellry and wearing makeup, which I think contrasts nicely with my pig-sty of an apartment and my trucker mouth. We are all aware of my obsession with pretty shoes , but are you aware that I will wear my pretty shoes to watch action and horror movies but wouldn't be caught dead watching a chick flick? It's never actually bothered me that don't fit into some stereotypically "female" roles, while I do partake of other "girly" behaviours that would make some feminists look down their nose at me... I actually like picking and choosing my behaviours regardless of what society feels I should do. But it was an interesting phenomenon to think about in a group of predominantly feminist scholars and strengthened my confidence in being who I am, regardless of whether mainstream society accepts it or not.

³Which I've been asked more times that you'd believe.

⁴and remove the part about bedding Taylor Pyatt.

So I called the bank to sort out how, exactly, I'm supposed to pay for my student loans. It turns out that you need to know the secret passageway, secret handshake and secret 347-digit code to set up your online banking so you can pay your student loans. So I now have it set up that $850 will magically disappear from my account EVERY MONTH for the NEXT NINE YEARS!

Man, I need a sugar daddy. Hmm.... I hear Prince William is back on the market....

Tying Up Some Loose Ends

Remember how I once accused my apartment of eating things? I was completely sure that it had eaten my favourite sweater. As it turns out, however, my apartment did not, in fact, eat my sweater. Rather, it mailed my sweater to my sister's apartment in Toronto. Why my apartment would do such a thing, I have no idea. It's sneaky. But how else can you explain how my sweater ended up there? Surely I did not forget it there when I visited last June! At any rate, my sister has mailed it back to me and now I have a nice sweater to wear to work*.

Remember how I sprung on you out of nowhere that I'd been working on a systematic review for "ages," even though I'd never mentioned it here ever before? I just got word that it's accepted for publication.

Remember when I told you about all the airheaded things I do? Add "pokes self in eye with mascara wand. On a regular basis." I forgot to add that to the list when I wrote that posting.

Remember how the bank didn't want to let me consolidate my 14 individual student loans and was telling me that I would have to make fourteen individual payments each month? Well, they went and consolidated them anyway, but now there appears to be no way for me to pay them through my online banking. There used to be an option to pay them in my "pay bills" section of my online banking, but now that they've consolidated my loans, that option is gone. It's almost like they don't want me to pay these damn things back**.

Remember how I complained that holding my coffee on the bus was just too taxing? My mom sent me this cool travel bag that has a million and one pockets, including a water bottle holder pocket that works perfectly as a coffee cup holder. I'm pretty sure my life is complete now.

*After I washed it to get all the cat hair out, of course.

**Which would be fine by me!!

Biz-ness

A few items of business. Because I know you all love business, right?

Remember back when this used to be a blog about thesis writing, and the similarity between writing a thesis and the seventh layer of hell? Well, my final paper from that thesis has now been accepted for publication in the journal Bone. For those of you not from the world of bone science, Bone is a pretty sweet journal to get published in. My other paper from my thesis is also there, so it's nice to have this one in the same journal, as it really does stem from the first paper. As an added bonus, we get to have one of the figures printed in colour - for free! Ordinarily it costs about US$1000 to get a figure printed for free, but they grant one request per month for a free colour image, as long as the colour is scientifically warranted. Which of course mine is. It also happens to be waaay prettier in colour than in black & white. But absolutely scientifically warranted.

I got my business cards last week. I would post them here, but as I discussed before, I'm avoiding mentioning where I work here in blogland*. Suffice it to say, they are wicked cool and you should be jealous of me.

In terms of my health, no one seems to know what's wrong with me. I am H. pylori negative, but that doesn't tell me why my tummy still hurts, or why I was vomitting coffee grounds***. I went back to the walk-in clinic, but the doctor I saw seemed to not really know what was wrong with me, and just wanted to criticize what the first doctor had done, despite the fact that he hadn't even opened up my file before he walked into the room and had no idea what was going on. He also told me that I need to completely eliminate caffeine, despite the fact there really isn't any scientific evidence to support that****. I need to find a real family doc and not rely on the walk in, because clearly continuity of care is not their strong point. I think I need a referral to a gastroenterologist to find out what the heck is going on. My plan is now to contact the (absolutely wonderful) doctor I used to see at Student Health***** to see if she knows of a good family doc that is accepting patients right now, and hopefully they will give me a referral, as well as a prescription for a proton-pump inhibitor, as I only currently have a sample package, and that will run out soon.

And finally, I really should get back to work. I'm working on revisions to a systematic review that I've been working on for ages (it kind of got sidetracked as my co-author, who is normally in Australia, went to Zimbabwe for a while and didn't have much access to the net**). It's due later this week and I'm hoping there aren't too many revisions (although I've had the reviewer's comments for a week, I got sidetracked with my health and haven't really looked at them up until now). There really is no rest for the wicked.


*not that that stopped a co-worker from Googling me and finding my blog!

**kind of like Field, BC.

***fortunately now it is just stomach pains that come and go, and no nausea or vomitting since that one time last Sunday.

****Had he suggested a trial period of caffeine elimination from my diet to test if that was causing trouble, I might have been willing to play along. But telling me to never have caffeine EVER AGAIN (which is what he said to do) and being completely dismissive of the fact that I'm experiencing withdrawl symptoms did not impress me in the least. I mean, I have tags for "coffee," "tea" and "diet pop" on my blog... I think I just might be a caffeine addict!

*****I can't go to Student Health anymore, as I'm not a student. =(

That Time I Got Paid $20 To Watch Porn

So, my most recent Facebook status has garnered some raised eyebrows and several demands that I explain what the f, how the f and why the f someone would pay me $20 to watch porn. So I suppose I should explain. It wasn't really "pay", it was actually an honorarium. That should explain it, right?

No?

OK, the deal is, on Friday I took part in a research study on sexual arousal and testosterone in females. They are interested in finding out if testosterone levels are correlated with sexual arousal in women - studies have been done in men, of course, but (like many areas of medical research) not so much in women. So, as a feminist, I felt that I should participate in this important research endeavour. And when they told me that I got to watch porn and would get paid $20, I was sold!

I was told that I would be filling out a few questionnaires on sexual history and current practices, and would give saliva samples (to measure testosterone) before and after watching some porn. "You'll be in a locked room, completely private." Oh ya, and they are measuring blood flow during this whole thing, so that they can actually quantify your level of turned on-ness. Because nothing really sets the mood for sexual arousal like being hooked up to a machine so that the researcher in the next room can quantify your level of arousal in real time. Hot, I tell you, hot.

After I filled out the questionnaires and spit in a tube (and they even give you a piece of gum to encourage saliva production) for my pre-porn baseline testosterone sample, I got all set up to watch the movie. There was another questionnaire to fill out about your mood before you watch the film, where you have to rank your level of different moods (1 = "Not at all" to 7 = "Intensely") such as "anxious," "worried," "excited," "bored," and, my personal favourite, "dirty." Then the film starts - they don't want to just throw you right into the porn, so first the word RELAX appears on the screen, in capital letters. Because nothing makes you relax like ALL CAPS. Of course, no one who has ever seen Zoolander can look at a screen with the word "relax" on it with breaking out into fits of laughter - all I could think of was Will Ferrell in a bonnet, licking an oversized lollipop and saying "little kid things." I'd been warned that any movement on my part would register on the blood flow monitor, so I tried to suppress my giggles, which only made me giggle more. After the RELAX screen, a travel video came on, again part of the pre-porn show that is supposed to be neutral, to get you to relax before the actual "experimental treatment" (i.e., porn*). The "travel video" they chose to show was on Hawaii, specifically on the practice of making leis. "Lei," of course, is pronounced "lay." And when you are already suppressing fits of Zoolander-induced giggles and are about to watch some porn, hearing someone saying the word "lei" repeatedly can really put you over the edge. "The best way to make a lei is...", "the best leis are...", "a really good lei is..."

Now, so far, so good -- filling out questionnaires, hooking up to machinery, free gum. Unfortunately, however, once the porn starts, it all goes downhill. Inexplicable, the research team who wants to study sexual arousal in women chose as their stimulus: the world's most boring porn. They must have had to watch hours and hours of porn in order to find the most boring pornographic film ever made. "We've carefully chosen porn that appeals to women," the research assistant had told me several times. Apparently then, they think that women like porn with (a) a plain looking, middle-aged man having boring sex with (b) a plain looking middle-aged women who goes out of her way to (c) show the camera that she's wearing a wedding ring. Because clearly women only want to see a married** couple "making love." They made sure to choose porn where they guy goes down on the woman, but not the other way around. Of course, I have no problem whatsoever with the guy going down on the woman***, but didn't it occur to them that some women might actually enjoy giving head and so might want to see that in their porn? Or that some women might want to see a couple fucking rather than boring missionary sex, with a just a little bit of doggie style thrown in at the end? Or perhaps we'd enjoy seeing a guy with rock hard abs and 24" biceps? Or maybe we'd like to actually see a penis in our porn?? Most offensive of all, however, was the fact that the woman in the film didn't have (ok, fake) an orgasm. The guy did, but the woman didn't. Porn where the woman doesn't get off -- how, exactly, is this supposed to be appealing to women??

After the boring porn was over, I had to fill out the mood questionnaire about how I felt while watching the porn**** and take the post-porn spit sample for testosterone (and remove the, uh, apparatus for blood flow measurement*****). Then I tell the research assistant over the intercom that I'm done, so she can come back into the room and give me my $20. When she enters the room, she excitedly asked me, "Did that shock you?" And I was all like, "What? Shock? I found it really tame actually." She seemed pretty disappointed when I said that, but quickly recovered, "Oh ya, I found it tame too. But some women say, "I didn't know it was going to be like that!!" after they see it. They didn't know it was going to be like what? That there would be people with no shirts on? That bad actors would pretend to have boring sex? How shocking!

All I can say is - at least they paid me $20.

*Yes, I'm trying to use the word "porn" as often as I can, so as to garner more hits from Google searches to artificially inflate my stats. Like this woman I met at Northern Voice who constantly gets hits on her blog for her posting called "Beaver Shots"...

**And I'd just like to say that, as a recently divorced woman, wedding rings are not really what I'm looking for in my porn.

***Especially because it meant I didn't have to see his ugly face anymore.

****And you can bet that I ranked "bored" as a 7! I am intensely bored by your lousy porn!!

*****Is this too much information? I feel like this is too much information.

Shout Out to Dave B

In a few hours, Dave B. will be defending his Master's thesis. Go Dave B! Everyone send him positive thoughts about snow geese at 12:30 p.m. Pacific, k?

Thesis Data Cloud

A while back, Darren mentioned wanting to make a data cloud for a presentation he was giving at Northern Voice - he wanted to find a tool that he could enter all the responses he'd gotten on his Why Do You Blog survey to generate a data cloud. This got me thinking about how data clouds are an interesting way of analyzing data - you get a visual representation of how often each word is used in your document. So then I had the bright idea that I wanted to run my thesis through a program like this - I was curious to see what words I used most often. I happened to be chatting with a friend of mine who is all computer savvy and asked if he knew of any tools that could do this (as I could only find one that required that the document in question be pretty small and my thesis may be many things, but small is not one of them). And the next thing I knew, he'd written me a program! We had to do a bit of tweaking (like not including common words such "and" and "then", not including punctuation and numbers, and, of course, I had to make it use pretty colours). And when all was said and done, it was just so friggin' pretty! I love my thesis word cloud! You can check out the whole thing here, but I've included a bit of it below, just so you can get an idea of how beautiful it is!

binge biochemistry biol biological biology birth births bk black blank blind blinded blindly blood bloom blow blue boat bodies body bone bones bonjour born both bottom bouillon boundaries boundary brain breakdown breaking breed breeding briefly bringing brown bud buds buffer bull bulletin bullock burns but c ca cage cages calcification calcified calcifies calcium calculated calculation calendar caloric calories camera camp can cannot carbohydrates cardiac cardiovascular care cartilage

Seriously, go check out the whole thing here. It's friggin' cool.

Update: OK, that looks a little f'd up, since Blogger's formattin apparently doesn't work so well with the formatting of the data cloud. I guess you'll just have to go here to see how it should look.

Having a PhD Can and Will Be Held Against Me

There's a lot of pressure that comes with having a Ph.D. People expect you to know stuff. And they expect that you won't go around doing stupid things. Unfortunately, I have a tendency to do airheaded things... often. For example, I discovered yesterday that I had made a pot of tea the day before and then forgot to drink it. Apparently, I just made a pot of tea and then it completely slipped my mind not only that I had made the tea, but that I had even wanted the tea to begin with! I regularly go to the kitchen and then forget why I went in there. Or I open up a computer program and then can't remember what I opened it for.

Other airheaded things I have done of late* include:

• I lost an entire year's worth of photos, somewhere in my apartment.
  
• I lost my food guide record today. I looked everywhere for it. It turned out that it was on my desk, pretty much right in front of my face.
• I got hit in the head with my own surfboard.
• I took some friends who were visiting Vancouver for a walk in Pacific Spirit Park and got us lost for almost 2 hours.
  
• This one time, I cut my finger on my own hair.

And anytime I do one of these airheaded things, someone will inevitably say, "Ph.D., eh? I guess they give those out to just anyone!" So, for the record, I hereby present a list of things that I do not have my Ph.D. in:

• remembering who I have told certain stories, even if I've already told them said story 3 or more times
• remembering people's names
• direction, sense thereof
• maturity
• acting my age
• looking my age
• English grammar*

Also, here is a list of things that I should have a Ph.D. in:

• sexy shoe-ology
• emailing
• history of magical education
• charm
• blogging
  

*if anyone can remember other airheaded things that I've done, please feel free to share in the comment section!
**so get off my back about using the word "ain't", Mom!

Oh yes, I can.

So I went to the bank yesterday to find out what I need to do to start paying back my student loans, as apparently they expect you to pay those back. Half of mine are with the Royal Bank and the other half are with the government, as the government took over lending out money to students from the banks part way through my education. The government sent me a letter telling me the obscene amount of money I'll need to pay them each month in order to have my loans paid off in a mere 9 years, but it seems that the bank expects you to go to them to find out what to do.

A very friendly person at the bank was trying to help me out, but when she called the bank's student loan centre, no one answered the phone... she got stuck in their "press 1 for this, press 2 for that" phone system that never actually lets you talk to a real live person*. She called a manager over for some help and the manager stared at the computer screen with the most perplexed look on her face and then said, "She can't possibly have this many loans." Sigh. Oh yes, I can.

*nice to know that companies do this to themselves, and not just to us.