666 PACK REVIEW: The Best of the "666 PACK REVIEW" 2019

By: Nikos Mixas

If you’ve been paying attention, the 666 Pack Review is an abbreviated review column mostly focused on very new bands or bands that have submitted demo material to THE SLUDGELORD.  The basic premise is that 6 bands are critiqued using only 6 words and on a scale from 1 to 666.  What you see below is the best of the year 2019 for the “666 Pack Review”.  There were 8 bands that received the highest of ratings so please go show them some love by revisiting their music and their web pages.  We at THE SLUDGELORD hope great things come to them.  Congrats and hails to those bands that made the list!  May 2020 be sludgier and heavier!

January – There were two 666’s! (Does that make it 1332 or 121212?)

ILS “Pain Don’t Hurt” (Portland, U.S.A.)

This band won the Portland trophy. 

Yuxa “Yuxa” (Brighton, United Kingdom) 

If Godflesh kicked the industrial habit…

February

Seed of the Sorcerer, Womb of the Witch “Spell Book I: Ceridwen” (Denver, U.S.A.)

Guitar tone alone worth the 666!  

April

Mireplaner “A Mountain of Saola Hooves” (Finland)

Guaranteed to cardiac arrest old people.

May

Inhuman Nature “Inhuman Nature” (London, United Kingdom)

Sexy thrash ala the Bay Area!

August

Old Horn Tooth “From The Ghost Grey Depths” (London, U.K.)

God-doom fucking-tastic start to the month!

September

MUNT “Towards Extinction” (Melbourne, Australia)

Fucking hate on the barbie mate!

October

Adliga “Kali Paćjače Njeba” (Minsk, Belarus) 

Belarus for the win!  Отлично comrades!

6 NEW BANDS: THE SLUDGELORD's "666 Pack Review" (May 2019)

May is here and that means a few things are afoot.  Some of you are wrapping up your studies and graduating to join the rest of us in real life misery…AND…the metal festival season is almost upon us.  Some bands are ok with hanging out in their garage and playing to their drunken friends for gratification, but others aspire to hopefully tour the world and play the summer metal festival circuit someday.  THE SLUDGELORD can’t make any promises on the latter, but what we can do is help your band get some free promotion by submitting your tunes for this monthly column even if you suck!  So, if you’re new to this, each and every month we handpick 6 review submissions and critique them by only using 6 words, then we rate them on a scale from 1 to 666!  Check out our “May your festival pipe dreams not suck” rating scale below: 

1 – Your garage hates you.  Just stop.  

2 – Get some wood, make a stage and steal a couple of lava lamps from a hippie for lighting effect.  This is as close you’ll get to playing a festival. 

3 – You know that local “promoter” that throws 15 local bands together and calls it a festival?  You’re good enough for that. 

4 – You need to get out on the road and push your product.  You’ll land a nice regional fest invite for sure.      

5 – Wacken Open Air holds local auditions and the winners get to invited to play this mammoth festival.   You should enter the contest next year. 

666 – THE SLUDGELORD should organize the sludgiest of all festivals and make you the headliner.  Wishful thinking…but…you never know???

Caveat:  Even though the “666 Pack Review” is meant to offer humorous critique, there are no safe spaces here and your gripes will only make you sound like a bellyacher.  THE SLUDGELORD is a picky listener…and doesn’t care what you think of his opinions….

1). Kavod “Wheel Of Time” (Perugia, Italy)    Rating: 4

The comparisons to Om are warranted.

2). MA-AT “Find Evil, Feel Fine” (Cape Town, South Africa)   Rating: 2

Plodding and muddy.  Bad combination indeed…

3). Black Seal “SATI” (Delray Beach, FL, U.S.A) Rating: 2

If Kyuss was ADHD on cocaine. 

4). Inhuman Nature “Inhuman Nature” (London, United Kingdom)   Rating: 666!

Sexy thrash ala the Bay Area!

5). Sky Burial “Sokushinbutsu” (Amsterdam, Netherlands)   Rating: 3

Killer tones, but needs more drugs. 

6). Dead Sacraments “Celestial Throne” (Chicago, Illinois, U.S.A.)  Rating: 5

Maybe a Dark Lord Day invite? 

Band info: Kavod || MAAT || Black Seal || Inhuman Nature || Dead Sacraments