Get a Look at the Banned Poster for Lesbian Vampire Killers...

London's Daily Mirror reported yesterday that this poster:


as well as any others related to the upcoming British horror comedy, has been banned from appearing on public transportation in the UK. It's pretty obvious that the poster/movie title is probably a bit much for mainstream public consumption in an outdoor setting. Then there are the inevitable complaints from lesbian vampires over how they're being portrayed. I can only imagine the uproar when Transsexual Werewolf Hunters is released...

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Clive Barker Trashes PG-13 Horror, Approves Remakes

Barker has been quite the opinionated little camper in the past year. First, he lashed out against torture porn, then rightfully spoke his mind regarding Lions Gate's treatment of his latest film, The Midnight Meat Train. And now, he's speaking his mind to MTV on some hot topics within the genre.

Firstly, he's made it quite clear that he's all for the upcoming remakes of his classic movies Hellraiser and Candyman, provided there's a good story to be told, and that something different and interesting will be done to make them worthwhile. He inferred that he'd rather see a quality remake than a sequel which does a shoddy job of adding to the franchise. A while back, he had officially given his blessing to the Hellraiser remake in particular, but the directors he had approved have since left the project.

Also, Barker made some strong remarks with regard to the recent trend of trimming down horror flicks in order to get a more audience-friendly PG-13 rating:

"It’s one of the most disgusting developments in the last few years; the whole notion of a PG-13 horror movie to me is a contradiction in terms. It’s like having a triple-X Disney picture. It doesn’t work... Wes [Craven] says that ‘When you go into a horror movie, you need to feel that you’re in the hands of a madman.’ Now what madman makes a PG-13 picture, right? Your horror-movie madman… doesn’t neaten up all the edges and make it all nice for mommy. [Studios] do it because they want to bring in younger audiences and make more money. But they don’t make better movies."

While I agree with Barker primarily, there has to be a distinction made here. In recent cases in which this phenomenon has occurred (such as Prom Night), you're talking about a situation in which studios have taken material that is clearly meant to be of an rated-R caliber and diluted its effectiveness by forcing it into a PG-13 pigeonhole. From a creative and artistic standpoint, that's clearly a disastrous development. However, that said, I don't agree that there can be no such thing as a great PG-13 rated horror movie. In fact, I think that's kind of ridiculous.

There certainly can be excellent horror movies rated PG-13 (and even milder!)--they're just different types of horror movies. Not the kind in which excessive body parts--both internal and external--are on plentiful display. But there are movies which can fully accomplish what they need to, and be effective, without exceeding the MPAA's guidelines for PG-13. For example, movies like The Others, The Ring, The Exorcism of Emily Rose and The Lady in White were all very good, and all rated PG-13. But to be clear, none of them were "trying to be R."

For that matter, what about every single great horror movie made before 1965, when filmmakers were unable to make movies of an R-rated type? Are we saying none of them are effective, none of them have the power to disturb us? Psycho would certainly be rated PG-13 if it were made today, maybe even PG--do we accuse Hitchcock of "neatening up the edges"? Granted, he didn't have the option of making his movie any more graphically violent, but would that really have made it any better than it is? Heck, Universal gems like Frankenstein and The Wolf Man would probably earn a G rating today. For my money, Nosferatu is a more powerful horror movie than many rated-R horror movies I've seen.

So I guess my point is, filmmakers should not be asked to reign in their vision in order to fit a PG-13 rating--but at the same time, we shouldn't broadly proclaim that it's impossible to make a PG-13 horror film that isn't well worth seeing.

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Will Megan Fox Be Naked or Not?

Vault-Dwellers, never let it be said that I'm afraid to tackle the tough issues. Every now and then, there are stories which crop up and call out to my finely honed journalistic instincts--and by gum, this is one of them.

Earlier this summer, the internets were set ablaze when word got out about the painfully hot Megan Fox baring all in her new Diablo Cody-penned, Jason Reitman-produced horror-comedy Jennifer's Body. Actually, it was more than "word" that got out, thanks to an intrepid camera-wielding set spy. It seemed to be a bold move for an up-and-coming actress in the year 2008. I applauded her courage and professionalism.

But now, a review posted on JoBlo.com is indicating that the producers of the film may have had second thoughts and removed the much-heralded topless footage of Ms. Fox. Specifically, someone claiming to have seen an advanced screening of the movie--persuaded, in fact, to see it with the promise of Fox's mammarian exposure--declares that no such footage appears in the picture. Cue the booing and hissing of conservative studio reactionism.

However, upon further investigation into the matter, I discovered an interview Reitman gave on the Howard Stern show last spring, in which he explicitly stated that although Fox is topless in Jennifer's Body, the parts in question would in fact be tastefully concealed under her hair. Therefore, I submit to the disappointed JoBlo reviewer that perhaps the plan was never to show such nudity in the finished movie at all. Rather, it would appear that the spy photos represented an unfilmed moment between takes, and were not snapped while cameras were rolling.

So there you have it--hard-hitting news brought to you as only The Vault of Horror can. I'll take my Edward R. Murrow Award now, thank you very much.

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China to Horror Movies: Drop Dead!

Whenever things seem rough, whenever the daily trials of life get you down, just be thankful you don't live in China.
In a move believed to be connected to the upcoming Beijing Olympic Games, that bastion of freedom and democracy is banning all things horror, according to a story reported Thursday by Reuters. Producers and distributors have three weeks to report all forbidden materials to China's General Administration of Press and Publications.
A statement posted on the Chinese government's website (that's got to be some fun reading) declares that the mission is to "control and cleanse the negative effect these items have on society, and to prevent horror, violent [and] cruel publications from entering the market through official channels and to protect adolescents' psychological health." I'd suggest another method of protecting adolescents' psychological health would be to refrain from running them over with tanks.
The People's Republic has been the site of a growing market for horror films, both domestic (as epitomized by the breakthrough Chinese flick The Eye) and foreign (read: pirate DVD black market). But now the cultural police seem to be clamping down thanks to the upcoming Summer Games, in an attempt to make a good impression on the rest of the world. Well boys, you're off to a smashing start. Try book-burning next, that should help make you even more friends.
The ban comes on the heels of recent crackdowns on supposed "vulgar" content from video, audio and internet media.
My condolenscences go out to all the horror fans in China. But then, if any of you are reading this, you'd better log off before anyone sees you.

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