The Witzard

"MCDONALD’S, MAN MCDONALD’S, MAN THE FRENCH FRIES HAD A PLAN THE FRENCH FRIES HAD A PLAN THE SALAD BAR AND THE KETCHUP MADE A BAND 'CUS THE FRENCH FRIES HAD A PLAN THE FRENCH FRIES HAD A PLAN MCDONALD’S, MAN MCDONALD’S I KNOW THEM FRENCH FRIES HAVE A PLAN I KNOW THEM FRENCH FRIES HAVE A PLAN THE CHEESEBURGER AND THE SHAKES FORMED A BAND TO OVERTHROW THE FRENCH FRIES’ PLAN I ALWAYS KNEW THEM FRENCH FRIES WAS EVIL, MAN SMELLING ALL GOOD AND SH*T I DON’T TRUST NO FOOD THAT SMELLS GOOD, MAN I DON’T TRUST IT I JUST CAN’T MCDONALD’S, MAN MCDONALD’S, MAN MCDONALD’S, DAMN THEM FRENCH FRIES LOOK GOOD [THOUGH] I KNEW THE DIET COKE WAS JEALOUS OF THE FRIES I KNEW THE MCNUGGETS WAS JEALOUS OF THE FRIES EVEN THE MCRIB WAS JEALOUS OF THE FRIES I COULD SEE IT THROUGH HIS ARTIFICIAL MEAT EYES AND HE ONLY BE THERE SOME OF THE TIME EVERYBODY WAS JEALOUS OF THEM FRENCH FRIES EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE SPECIAL GUY... THAT SMOOTH APPLE PIE" - TEXT BY KANYE WEST.

"I used to have tons of songs in my head, but since I couldn't play anything well and I didn't know how to use programs [so] I was never able to make them," Chicago emcee and former Cool Kids affiliate Hollywood Holt writes within his rather compelling Facebook Bio section. Now better known as simply HXLT (pronounced: "Holt" ), the former club-friendly rapper has returned with the lead-off single from his as-yet-untitled G.O.O.D. Music debut; " Holt 's manager told Billboard at the time of his singing that "it's like if Joy Division , The Strokes , and Dr. Dre made an album together."' Judging by "Live to Death," it would appear as though HXLT has somehow already managed to master the whole Psych/Punk Rock -leaning brand of Alt. Hip-Hop that Kanye 's former protégé Kid Cudi has spent the past five or so odd years aimlessly trying to hone and perfect. Although, prior to unleashing "Live to Death"...

I can vaguely remember my parents watching Taxi re-runs on either Nick at Nite or TV Land when I was a kid; Starring alongside Tony Danza , Danny DeVito, Christopher Lloyd , Jeff Conaway, and Andy Kaufman (Latka) , who would all go on to have varying degrees of success, following the show's 1983 finale. Although generally lumped in with stand-up comics, Kaufman was more or less a hoax/performance artist and anti-comedian, for argument's sake. Andy Kaufman 's career really only spanned from 1974-84, yet included countless appearances on SNL , Taxi, 11 Letterman visits, The Dating Game, Johhny Carson , Fridays, Inter-Gender Wrestling [women], and a bloody staged on-air 1982 fight with Jerry "The King" Lawler , etc. Some of his most infamous stunts include: reading The Great Gastby to an unruly audience, taking 24 bus loads of fans out for milk and cookies, opening for himself as washed-up lounge singer "Tony Clifton," a pre-concieved TV brawl with M...

Aside from co-headlining Budweiser 's second annual Made In America Festival , Mrs. Carter recorded an interesting new track for what's poised to be one of Summer 2013's biggest blockbusters, The Great Gatsby . While Bryan Ferry Emile Sandé contributed a "Crazy In Love" cover, Beyoncé & André 3000 managed to conjure up their own unique re-make, "Back to Black" (2007). Needless to say, Bey & Dre have TOTALLY flipped Amy Winehouse 's breakout Neo-Soul hit; and from the sounds of this just-released 90-second snippet, "Back to Black" has been effectively turned into a modern day Electro-Funk jam. But with that said, it's pretty damn hard to judge an entire track off a brief 90-second preview! Almost every time André 3000 randomly spits a few sub-par bars like this, it just makes me want that long-rumored OutKast reunion album even more, which I'm beginning to question will ever really see the light of day. Beyo...

Mr. Moot was raised by a pack of flesh-ravaging wolves. So, his life wellness & survival skills are damn near stone sold immaculate, as should be expected. "Moot" is actually derived from the ancient Native American term for SWAGnificent and his favourite rapper is either Bob Dylan or DMX . After compiling a 10-12 song setlist culled from his comprehensive 100-200 track backcatalog, Mr. Moot & The... played one triumphant first/last show down in Miss' Basement (April 2011). It was recorded to tape, but the film reel has seemingly been lost [or stolen by supervillains]. All that's left are the lone shards of magical memories captured by the chosen few in that basement on that very night! Mr. Moot started out making " Hip-Hop beats" around 2000-02, which has now morphed into something entirely different. He usually laments about the trials and tribulations of The American Dream : Trying to simultaneously attain love, money, bitches, POWER, dru...