The Witzard

I just turned 25 a few months ago, but " Tumblr rappers" like kitty pryde really make me feel like a terribly out-of-touch old man! Thanks to my older cousins, I was raised on a steady diet of Wu-Tang Clan , No Doubt, Beastie Boys , Blink-182, Now #1-5 , Red Hot Chili Peppers , Biggie, Sublime , etc. The 20-year-old, freckle-faced songstress manages to shout out " CHEETAH GIRLS , HILLARY DUFF, JUSTIN BIEBER , S-CLUB 7, ATOMIC KITTEN & CLAIRE'S INC." on her Facebook Influences section; AKA a bunch of 90's-bred shit that I'd really be surprised if she was actually influenced by, cause I was about 11 in 1998 (S-Club 7) , but maybe. Bottom line, a lot of kitty 's [sarcastic] Tumblr-fied inside jokes and punchlines fly right over my head. I guess that 5-year age gap really does make a difference sometimes! Like what's up with all these weird acronyms? - D.A.I.S.Y. Rage EP and R.R.E.A.M. = Rash Rules Everything Around Me . I mean, I get the...

Since it's largely being totted as an [all] "GiRL pUnK bAnD," I'm mildly curious as to what sort of role rising Vancouver producer Blood Diamonds (Mike Tucker) really played in the creation of "DON'T SMOKE MY BLUNT BITCH." Supposedly recorded in 10 minutes and filmed in under an hour over the weekend, the track was produced by Grimes and it's trippy-ass music video was directed by Tragik . L$D 's third and final member, KREAYSHAWN looks really hot and raps well too, as usual! President Obama said that " L$D r a fresh breath of air after months of depressing goth pop " and New York Times has already championed them as "the hypest band in l.a." No word just yet on an L$D album/mixtape, but I'd almost expect one sooner than later since they keep referring to "DON'T SMOKE MY BLUNT BITCH" as their first single. KREAYSHAWN 's long-rumored Interscope debut, Somethin' Bout Kreay is slated for an...

KREAYSHAWN is definitely hot in that "Ghetto Fabulous" sort of way. She's the type of girl that if I saw her on the street, I'd still attempt to spit game @, even though I'm sure we'd have absolutely nothing in common ha. Anyways, Columbia reportedly signed a $1 million record deal with KREAYSHAWN on the sheer strength of her premier single, "Gucci Gucci." Since dropping out of Berkeley film school in 2009-10, Natassia "KREAYSHAWN" Zolot has self-released 2 mixtapes: Kittys X Choppas and Kreayshawn X The Bay , in addition to shooting music videos for a number of [famous] friends. During this formative period, KREAYSHAWN also submitted guest verses to a wide variety of Hip-Hop artists: The Madden Brothers , Juicy J, Theophilus London , Millionaires, and Insane Clown Posse . "Breakfast" (Syrup) fully employs KREAYSHAWN 's witty, inventive sense of building rhyme patterns... Ex(s)ample: "I'm hungry. Hungry fo...

Brooklyn 's very own Flatbush Zombies are preparing to essentially single-handedly "bring [back] da mother_ucking ruckus." The One, Two crew of tag-team rappers Meechy Darko & Zombie Juice are backed by the morbidly RZArected beats of in-house producer, Erick Arc Elliott . Flatbush Zombies indeed evoke the mid-90's, Gravediggaz popularized genre of Horrorcore ... adding their own unique updated twist(s), in an effort to revitalize the music after Limp Bizkit forever tarnished and brutally killed it. From what I can tell, The Zombies released their first track, "Thug Waffles" back in November 2011; Since then, they've slowly leaked out a handful of additional tracks: "S.C.O.S.A." "Caps Lock," "Gucci Gucci" (KREAYSHAWN) , and "Suspiria." While their latest track, "Laker Paper" was liberated roughly 2 days ago, there are still no signs of a Flatbush Zombies mixtape/full-length. But if the ...

"Evian Christ" is a mysterious, young British music producer who randomly uploaded a handful of promising tracks to YouTube over the weekend; In fact, 8 sample-based instrumentals were uploaded to the newly-created account over the course of the past few days. Dummy notoriously posted about Evian Christ & "drip" when it had just 1 mere hit (Dec. 30th) and their accompanying music has since set the blogosphere ablaze! Track titles are mildly cryptic and include: "thrown like jacks," "go girl," and "fridge, crank, gun." Only time will tell who "Evian Christ" really is and what's truly in store for him/her. But based solely off all of this recent media attention, I can only image that it will imminently result in the signing of a major label deal. If KREAYSHAWN can get a $1 million deal/1.5 million hits, then I'm sure that Evian Christ can manage to get some sort of semi-size-able deal off all this web-gen...

Self-proclaimed "Ringtone Rapper," Soulja Boy is that young, instantly successful artist that everyone loves to hate. Soulja's detractors proclaimed that he's one of the highly "disposable" rappers that have allegedly "killed" [ruined] Hip-Hop in recent years. His die-hard fans will obviously fire back with examples supporting the exact opposite. I must admit that I am in fact one of those fans; Albeit a close observer who's followed Soulja Boy 's career path over the years, but a fan nonetheless. A creative 21-year-old young man hailing from Chicago , Soulja Boy 's overall message is surprisingly positive and violence free - In an era of "Hard as Nails" gun-slinging rappers, DeAndre Way is a rarity: Guy simply traveling down the straight-and-narrow who claims absolutely no gang affiliation whatsoever nor a violent, blood-drenched past. Soulja Boy initially burst onto the music scene with debut single/turned viral meme, ...

Young KREAYSHAWN sure did have one sudden, albeit triumphant rise to fame this past calendar year; Her debut single, "Gucci Gucci" amassed some 3 million YouTube hits in it's first 3 weeks, which imminently resulted in the signing of a coveted $1 million deal with Columbia Records (June). That's the thing - I can tell that KREAYSHAWN has this completely RAW, un-tapped natural talent(s): Film, music, video editing, graphic design, pixel art. KREAYSHAWN was born and raised in The Bay Area to a single, Punk Rock -loving mother. Although she dropped out of Berkley film school, KREAYSHAWN has since shot and edited music videos for a wide range of Popular artists including: Lil B BASEDGOD, Soulja Boy , A.P.B. Red Hot Chili Peppers, Stalker, Dread, D.B. The General ... and even starred in The Memorials - "We Go to War" (music video). Essentially, she has yet to prove much of anything @ all, but I can tell that KREAYSHAWN has a lot of drive. So, her ...