The Witzard

Buck 65 Topps baseball card and KISS Destroyer cassette cover (SOURCE: Facebook / Discogs) "I wish I could tell you the craziest story about the song "Kiss My A$$." I really wish I could. But I can't. Next time we run into each other face-to-face, remind me and I'll tell you. Here's what I CAN tell you: When I was a kid—before Hip-Hop changed my life—I was a massive KISS fan. Funny enough, I know now that I was part of a problem for the band at the peak of their popularity. It wasn't exactly cool that hoards of small children were filling the seats at their concerts and as I understand it, some in the KISS camp hated it. But what can I say? I'm not a kid anymore and I still listen to my KISS records. Maybe, it's a nostalgia thing. I don't know. But back in the day, I was probably drawn in by the spectacle like most of the other kids. An entire wall of my bedroom was covered with KISS posters and photos from magazines. I dressed up like di...

Biz Markie rendering on cardboard - CREDIT: Andrew "Andy" Katz (@ajkatzart) Marcel Theo Hall, better know as Biz Markie and oftentimes, affectionately referred to as The Biz, The Clown Prince of Hip-Hop, The Inhuman Orchestra, The Diabolical Biz Markie, and The Emizah-Emizah, was highly revered as one of the most genuine emcees to ever do it. Biz passed away on Friday, July 16, 2021 at the tender age of 57, likely due to complications from Type 2 Diabetes, although, no official Cause of Death has been revealed just yet. Biz Markie is most well-known for his infectious 1989 break-out single, "Just A Friend," but he was a truly multi-talented artist, as well. Biz Mark's lesser-known talents included beat-boxing, dancing, producing, DJ'ing, acting, singing, and song-writing. It was proven time and time again that "Nobody Beats The Biz," but he surely didn't mind collaborating with just about anyone; racking up genre-defying features with eve...

"#ItWas50YearsAgoToday This LP was always in my dad's collection (Dad was a vocalist who LOVED Pop . Yeah, he looked like a member of the #BlackPanthers. Ran the house like he was #JamesEvans . But his go-to zone was some of the best dentist office music ever—feed your kids equal [Barbra Streisand] #StoneyEnd & [Rufus] #Rufusized & see what happens? lol)—I ignored #SgtPeppers because I never liked the 60's @capitolrecords logo (see how everyone is going #FigitSpinner mad? My version of that was taking records out the sleeve, & spinning them on my finger watchin' the logo rotate. Seriously, I was obsessed with all spinning rotating objects—hence, my record obsession)—If the logo was dope? I'd give the record a chance. I'd love to revision a story of singing "Within You Without You" in my 2nd grade class—but the truth is, it didn't hit me 'til 22 years AFTER its release. Sgt. Pepper's was the 4th CD I ever purchased for my...

Not since Bad Company boldly decided to go where no band had gone before, courageously naming their 1974 album Bad Company , which also included the song "Bad Company," has a band shown such a self-aware display of badass-ey; But with that said, Run the Jewels' self-titled FREE download album was easily one of the most righteous, skull-rattling Hip-Hop albums I've heard in years! While they're already animated enough in their own right, Killer Mike & El-P have now been properly cartoon-ified by Bristol -based director RUFFMERCY and animator Patch Keyes . "Run The Jewels" is just the latest in a recent string of surprisingly well-executed and unique visual accompaniments; for those of you who haven't had a chance to hear it yet, Run The Jewels (album) almost plays out like a buddy cop movie or Saturday morning cartoon and you can tell that these guys are best friends who are thoroughly enjoying what they're doing. "We're dati...

Alongside modern day Aggro-Rap masterpiece Yeezus , Run The Jewels' self-titled/untitled premier album is quite easily amongst the "Best Albums of 2013." While Killer Mike & El-P have already unleashed a number of music videos behind the album, I haven't really bothered re-posting anything since "36" Chain" because they've all been uploaded to semi-unreliable, non- YouTube video platforms. But needless to say, Run The Jewels let loose a new holiday-themed video Saturday night, just in time for Christmas ; album closer "A Christmas F**king Miracle" now has a companion retro holiday card-indebted video directed by Joey Garfield , who previously starred as Dreadloctopus in the Beastie Boys' infamous late-90's smash-hit, "Intergalactic." According to Joey Garfield 's own Ghost Robot posse-site, "He has created memorable music videos for RJD2 , The Cool Kids, and Lupe Fiasco , and ads for Dos [Equi...

"IN CASE [YOU] MISSED IT EARLIER, "THE TURNING POINT PERFORMANCE OF MY CAREER,"" Action "Bam Bam" Bronson ecstatically, 1/2-jokingly Tweeted late Wednesday afternoon; He's in fact referring to a recent pseudo-concert at Saint Hilda's , a local old folks home which Noisey UK has established some sort of relationship with and "arranged a surprise visit from the hottest rapper on the planet." While most recording artists get pretty stoked when the opportunity arises to play Madison Square Garden , Wembley Stadium, Red Rocks , etc. Bronson has a reputation for throwing mildly outrageous, slightly left-of-center concert experiences. It seems like he'll gladly play just about anywhere for a decent price... Tweeting "THIS IS BY FAR, MY MOST ELECTRIFYING PERFORMANCE OF MY CAREER!!!!!!" not long after performing "Strictly 4 My Jeeps" for the confused seniors. While the majority of Saint Hilda's old-timers d...

While it might not be the "strongest" track or optimal single contender, El-P & Killer Mike have unveiled a proper music video for "36" Chain," which is somehow the first video-single from Run The Jewels (out since June 25th). It's basically a Hip-Hop -friendly version of The Raid: Redemption that oddly enough, co-stars Andrew W.K. Amber Tamblyn, Heems , Despot, and Mr. Muthafuckin' eXquire . In a preview that could [hopefully] foreshadow a possible "buddy cop movie" or reality TV show, "36" Chain" follows Run The Jewels re-cast as 2 vigilante enforcement officers out on a mission to rescue their kidnapped, cracked out, and eye-patched squirrel buddy, Mr. Killums . Preceded that morning by what you could kinda call a DVD extra, Killer Mike was also featured on a Black Noi$e -crafted Unknown Mortal Orchestra remix along with Mr. MFN eXquire ; "So Good at Being In Trouble" now houses 2 appended, hard...

Since voluntarily self-dissolving his long-functioning Hip-Hop label Def Jux around February 2010, El-P has somehow managed to release 3 full-length records over a 2 year span, straying away from his previous crippling album/5 years pattern. Run The Jewels is actually El-P 's first proper album with close friend and fellow veteran rapper, Killer Mike ; It's Proto-Rap that pays homage to Hip-Hop 's "golden era" and even lifts it's boastful group name from a old school LL Cool J track, "Cheesy Rat Blues" (1990). Preceded by 3 equally glitched-out teaser singles: "Banana Clipper," "Get It," and Adult Swim -backed "36" Chain," Run The Jewels [album] was uploaded to Fool's Gold Records early Wednesday morning (June 26th) for FREE download. But for diehard record collectors like myself, Fool's Gold has also pressed up a limited number of specially-designed 2xLP/T-shirts/herb grinder/standard CD sets...

Yeah, it's 1am and I have work in about 7 mere hours, ugh; But "The Rockers" just seemed too good to be true, without hearing it before I get some zzzz's. Action Bronson has recruited Taylor Gang general Wiz Khalifa for the second leak from SAAAB STORIES , just a few days after unveiling "Strictly 4 My Jeeps" (Queens Day Remix) with LL Cool J & Lloyd Banks . Based around a weirdly catchy pseudo-hook, "I'll hit you with the dropkick Marty Jannetty ," Bronson & Wiz sound better than you'd expect lacing up a slick Harry Fraud -produced beat together. The gap between mainstream and underground Hip-Hop has seemingly been bridged, and all it took was a shared love for weed, women, and wrestling ha. It almost pains me to say this, but Wiz Khalifa has really grown a lot since "Black & Yellow." What can I say, the man is good at what he does, which is making Dance -inspired Hip-Hop for suburban white kids... and w...

While you patiently await SAAAB STORIES' June 11th release and contemplate what the Hell could be happening on it's highly amusing, head-scratching cover... Here's a neck-snapping Boom-Bap remix while you wait! Action Bronson expertly recruited 2 veteran Queens emcees, LL Cool J & Lloyd Banks for his official "Strictly 4 My Jeeps" (Remix) , which debuted on Funkmaster Flex's Hot 97 radio show late last night. Chopping the bulk of his previous verses and then adding on a newly-written one the track order now seamlessly flows between Bronson, LL Cool J , and Lloyd Banks . Granted, I still haven't heard Authentic , LL Cool J 's verse seems like a return to form since the slight MASSIVE fall from grace that is "Accidental Racist" with Country super-star Brad Paisley . I'm actually kinda glad Harry Fraud didn't really do anything to re-tweak the beat, cause "Strictly 4 My Jeeps" is almost tailor-fit for LL C...

Run The Jewels are already poised to be a little different than El-P & Killer Mike 's previous collaborations because it'll feature the 2 emcees trading bars, rather than just acting as rapper/producer. The LL Cool J -inspired "dream team" are planning to unleash a currently untitled free album [mixtape] by June on Fool's Gold . "Get It" is our first LEGIT taste of what Run The Jewels really have in store for the unsuspecting world of Hip-Hop , unless you count that short and sweet 90-second "Banana Clipper" sample. Tom Breihan recently attempted to describe "Get It" 's overall sound as "someone beating up Kanye 's "Clique" with an aluminum baseball bat," which I think is a pretty accurate description for El-P 's borderline mainstream, robot squall-accented brand of Experimental Hip-Hop . It's almost impossible to explain how HARD this track hits using mere words... so, here's a...

Rapping friends El-P & Killer Mike already produced one critically-acclaimed joint album together last year, R.A.P. Music . But it seems like they've made their Hip-Hop group a little more official - That's now been re-christened Run The Jewels and are currently nearing completion of a second record; Sounds like El-P 's decided to step out from behind the boards and back onto the mic this go-round, too. After a few solid months-worth of vague teasers, El-P uploaded an 84-second snippet of "Banana Clipper" to his Soundcloud Tuesday afternoon. It's a short but sweet sampling of what Run The Jewels upcoming album might sound like, which is rumored for a Summertime release. El-P 's also busy writing/recording new music along with Nick Diamonds (Islands) that they're calling Stepson , and possibly working with Big Boi/T.I. Killer Mike , on the other hand's about to head out on a MASSIVE 40+ date tour with frequent collaborator, Big Boi...

Hip-Hop "Beef" is essentially a long-forgotten art form/promotional exercise. Infamous beefs of the per-Internet Golden Boom-Bap Era (1980-90's) include: 2pac-Biggie , Nas-Jay-Z , "The Bridge Wars," LL Cool J-Kool Moe Dee , and "The Roxanne Saga." A carefully designed marketing tool, beef is usually kick-started when one rapper does/says something that the other doesn't exactly agree with. Beefs are usually all in good fun and most times, end in a truce... One exception however, is the tragic deaths of former friends, 2pac & Biggie . Recent Internet -based beefs have included: Kanye-50 Cent , Nicki Minaj-Lil Kim , [The] Game -everyone, Eminem-Canibus (Mariah Carey) . In what may very well be the first size-able Hip-Hop beef of 2012, Common released a diss track aimed @ Drake just yesterday afternoon. Common-Drake 's feud stems back to Nov. 2011 when Common released "Sweet." The third single from The Dreamer/The Believer n...